Transcript

A (0:00)

Foreign.

B (0:10)

What's Gucci? Stanley Tucci. We're back with episode 115, this firescape cast. I'm Mike, your host. As always here with Dan, who seems upset.

A (0:22)

I don't like that. You gotta workshop that. No, don't even workshop it. Just scrap it and come up with something better.

B (0:27)

Last time and what did you do? Anything. I tried rhyming a bunch of actors names with other greetings and it doesn't work.

A (0:34)

Real quick. Do one right now. Don't think about it. Go.

B (0:36)

What's happening? Billy Krapping in.

A (0:40)

I like that better.

B (0:41)

Who is he?

A (0:43)

That's our mascot.

B (0:44)

Is he in the Devil Wears Prada? Does he have a travel show now?

A (0:46)

Billy Crapanen is our new mascot. Introduce Mary.

B (0:50)

That's Mary Kish, whose name rhymes with Billy Crappen, whose name requires no introduction.

C (1:01)

That's bad.

B (1:03)

I know.

A (1:03)

What's Billy Crapton's personality? Like who.

B (1:05)

Who is Billy Krappinen?

A (1:07)

He.

B (1:08)

He has tried several times to get into Warhammer 40K painting minifigs. But he doesn't have the space because he lives in a studio apartment and he works at a foster care center for cats. But a lot of people bring in dogs and lizards and that's his main problem. He's trying to get people to. He's trying to remind people in his neighborhood that it's only a foster center for cats. But coincidentally the neighborhood dogs and lizards have all taken to have developed a taste for cat food because so many of them are spending time at this foster care. So that's one of his problems. He also has stage sick. No, I'm not going to get grim about it.

Summary

Fire Escape Cast #115 – September 8, 2025

Hosts: Dan Ryckert, Mary Kish, Mike Mahardy

Podcast Description: The crew can’t shut down bars while talking videogames like they used to, so Fire Escape Cast keeps the conversation alive from across the country.

Episode Overview

In their 115th episode, the Fire Escape crew reunites for an irreverent, lively discussion bouncing from gross-out hypotheticals and medical mishaps, to heartfelt takes on the indie-versus-AAA games debate, deep dives into new releases and gaming events like PAX, restaurant recommendations, and philosophical dilemmas about surviving if transported back to medieval times. They also answer listener emails, get nostalgic about Xbox 360, and debate the utility of their modern skills in a distant past. The episode is a blend of raunchy comedy, deep gaming analysis, and off-the-wall banter.

Major Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Opening Banter: Mascot Mayhem & Too Much Anal (00:10–07:30)

Mike invents a new show mascot, “Billy Crapanen,” who is valiantly failing at cat-fostering and Warhammer 40K mini-painting due to space constraints (00:44).
The crew launches into an unexpectedly in-depth and graphic discussion of hemorrhoids, treatments, and suppositories, including personal anecdotes and speculation about Marilyn Monroe’s cause of death:

“She died, Mike.” – Dan (06:08)
“She did not butt chug her pills.” – Mary (07:31)
Mary attempts to steer away from the “butt” talk by announcing her PAX West trip.

2. PAX West Recap & Indie Game Chat (07:47–17:50)

Mary recounts meeting Fire Escape fans at PAX, including someone called “Wizard of Video Games” who knew all their catchphrases (07:51).
They riff on inside-joke catchphrases, potential T-shirt ideas, and why PAX’s emphasis on pins hits that festival “theme” just right (08:25).
Mary reveals she skipped the Silk Song demo, anticipating the full game launch soon (09:07).
Banter erupts over who is more “indie” versus “AAA,” with insults and hilarious hyperboles:

“You triple A fucking Kojima jerking shit stain.” – Mary (10:16) “No, you deserve no listeners, no friends, no loved ones, just wet, wet mud.” – Mary (10:29)
Dan and Mary debate their true indie credentials, referencing games like Monster Train 2, Expedition 33, Pipistrello and the Cursed Yo-Yo, and Wheel World.

3. The Indie–AAA Divide: Serious, Ridiculous, & Self-Deprecating (09:43–14:31)

The gang escalates into a silly, swear-riddled “indie versus AAA” faceoff.
Mary defends her indie cred ahead of Silk Song’s launch; Dan and Mike playfully attack each other’s gaming bona fides. Mike makes on-the-record predictions:

“I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's going to be fine.” – Mike (15:35)

4. PAX “Peak” Party, Cute Game Lore, & The Case of the Cake Spoiler (16:37–21:17)

Mary describes attending a party for the indie game “Peak,” where fans earned pins for party tasks—a clever callback to the game’s mechanics.
She unintentionally spoils a special “Bing Bong cake” reveal by blurting out the secret to the whole party:

“Oh my God, is the cake Bing Bong? And the girlfriend looks at me and gives me the shush. And I realized that I had just spoiled her cake and I felt really bad.” – Mary (19:09)
Dan and Mary spar over who truly “respects” indie developers.

5. Food & Drink Adventures: State Fair Style, NYC Small Plates, and Home Infusions (24:07–27:18, 41:13–43:00)

Dan details eating his way through the Minnesota State Fair (fried food, “all you can drink” milk, and the “soft serve beer.”) (24:25)
Mike recommends "Lei" in Chinatown, NYC for drinks and Chinese small plates (26:07).
Discussion turns to complex cocktail infusions (turmeric, coconut milk, etc.), including trial-and-error with homemade Soba Cha old-fashioneds and replicating restaurant drinks at home (41:13–43:00).

6. Indie & Major Game Impressions

Tower Dominion: Roguelike Tower Defense (43:00–58:05)

Mary and Mike break down the brutal difficulty, evolving strategies, systemic depth, and UI quirks (buttons/mapping on Steam Deck), and why it’s the “hardest and most interesting tower defense” they’ve ever played (45:18–46:09).
Key quote:

“I have played tower defenses most of my life, and I think most of them are made for little babies...this game is meant to kill you, and you are going to die a lot.” – Mary (45:53)

Sword of the Sea: Style vs Substance (60:01–68:59)

Mary and Dan praise the game's art and atmosphere, but question its gameplay variety and “replay”/solitary feel compared to Journey.
Standout moment:

“Journey didn't need that [visual splendor] because...it allowed you to have these incredible experiences with other people...In none of these other games, as far as I’m aware, correct me if I’m wrong, but they just haven’t really added these elements of finding other people in the world. There’s none of that at all.” – Mary (65:25)
Consensus: Beautiful but shallow compared to its spiritual predecessor.

Rogue Prince of Persia: The Underrated Roguelite Gem (69:16–75:44)

Mary raves about Ubisoft’s new roguelite, describing top-tier movement, environmental combat, build variety, strategic badge and weapon choices, and the joy of “making badges work together,” comparing its design to Dead Cells.
Dan wonders if Early Access hurts a game's launch/reception (76:03).
Mike, Dan, and Mary discuss early access pros/cons, referencing successes like Hades and Baldur’s Gate 3 (76:58–81:56).

Shinobi: Modern Action Classic (82:39–88:49)

Dan is blown away by the new Shinobi, praising its art, fluid controls, satisfying combos, boss battles, and rewarding execution system.
Mary asks about customization; Dan explains skill and amulet systems.
High praise:

“You feel like Neo in the Matrix… I went in just being like, I’ll try this, you know…but…this is my pick. This will be pretty high up on my game of the year, I think.” – Dan (84:16–87:05)

Hell is Us: A Nonlinear, No-Handholding Standout (90:00–93:10)

Dan (and Bonk) are intrigued by its lack of quest markers, cryptic maps, and oppressive, annihilation-inspired atmosphere.
Key mechanic: All information is found or inferred by the player—there’s no handholding by design.

7. Movies: Nostalgia & Comedy (29:36–39:59, 104:01–108:09)

Mary reviews seeing “Naked Gun” in a luxury dinner theater—praises its relentless joke pace and physical comedy (31:40).
Other “so stupid they’re genius” comedies discussed: Wet Hot American Summer, Walk Hard, Face/Off, Popstar, Starship Troopers, Hot Shots, Tropic Thunder.

“Wet Hot is probably mine.” – Mike (105:49) “[Face/Off] is a movie that is not sold as a comedy...but it is stupid as hell and I love it.” – Dan (107:58)

8. Food & Time Travel—Philosophical Hypotheticals (110:09–124:45)

The trio imagines being dropped naked, Terminator-style, into medieval “castle times,” debating what knowledge or skills they could use to impress or survive.
Hilarious brainstorms include: teaching them how to make simple cocktails (Mike), inventing new makeup/fashion (Mary), singing Beatles/Taylor Swift songs, boasting about modern vocabulary “(I could tell them ‘Riz’)”—and joking existential crises about their utter lack of useful skills:

“I have no skills. Three other times. Or some could argue this time.” – Dan (128:35)

9. Listener Emails: Game Design Mistakes, Brute Force, and Metal Gear Ladders (129:46–137:16)

Accidentally beating games the hard way: Mary confesses to defeating a Tunic boss using only a stick, not realizing she missed the sword pick-up; Mike and Dan reminisce about self-imposed “permadeath” runs and unconventional strategies.
Metal Gear Solid 3’s ladder scene: A tongue-in-cheek email questions why Snake Eater's theme plays on a long ladder climb.

“It's just a song playing during a scene in a video game. It's not a diegetic thing....Everyone loves the ladder.” – Dan (135:33)

10. Console Nostalgia: Xbox 360, Gears Co-op, & Gaming UI (97:17–102:32)

Dan and Mary discuss how well Gears of War holds up, the brilliance of the 360 era’s interface (the “blades”), the role of Xbox Live Arcade in indie history, and hopes for future in-person Game of the Year gatherings.

11. Closing, Merch Updates, & Call to Action (146:01–end)

Merch updates: New Fire Escape water bottles are back in stock, with new “fall 2025” designs on the way (147:10).
Next Game of the Year schedule will be announced soon—likely December (149:42).
Final thought: Listeners are encouraged to write in with practical skills or survival advice for medieval times based on actual podcast host skill sets.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Mary on indie credentials (10:16):
“You triple A fucking Kojima jerking shit stain.”
Dan on Tower Dominion’s learning curve (51:03):
“If it's teaching me stuff like the tutorial...overloading me...when you're overloading me...I'm not gonna remember all this.”
Mike on losing “release hype” in Early Access (76:03):
“I feel like you lose something by kind of spreading the attention of the launch, you know...”
Mary on survival in ‘castle times’ (116:24):
“Whenever I have this fantasy...I never think to, like, bring back medicine and save people's lives. I'm always like, man, I'd bring back whiskey and Skittles.”
Dan on skills most useless for medieval survival (143:28):
“Yeah, I just shake it off. You gotta shake it off, right fellas, don't stab me with your swords.”

Conclusion

Fire Escape Cast #115 delivers everything regular listeners expect and more: gross-out laughs, biting industry commentary, passionate gaming recommendations, nostalgia, and existential self-roasting. The episode is a showcase of the crew’s chemistry, as they seamlessly shift from the intimate and absurd (medical misadventures) to the thoughtful (indie game appreciation, AAA skepticism, time-travel hypotheticals). For fans of gaming culture who enjoy humor as much as analysis, it’s a must-listen—though maybe not over lunch.

Listener Call to Action

Write in to firescapecastmail.com:
How would YOU survive—or help Dan, Mary, or Mike survive—if dropped in “castle times” with only your modern skills or knowledge?

[Note: All timestamps in MM:SS]