Fire Escape Cast #126

Summary

Fire Escape Cast #126 – February 16, 2026

Hosts: Dan Ryckert, Mary Kish, Mike Mahardy
Episode Theme: Life Updates, Aruba Stories, Food & Wine, In-Depth Mewgenics Discussion, Video Game Chatter, and Audience Questions

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Overview

Episode #126 of Fire Escape Cast finds Dan, Mary, and Mike reuniting to catch up on life, adventures, and of course, deep dives into gaming. From Dan’s Aruba vacation and tales of tropical fauna to dissecting Mewgenics’ “gross-out chic,” the crew brings a balance of anecdotal fun, gaming analysis, and playful, irreverent humor. Notable recurring themes include vacation food experiences, how adulthood reshapes their approach to travel and leisure, and the merits (or lack thereof) of bloody cat butts in games. The cast also answers listener emails about escapism, trying new things, and the worst earworms they’ve endured.

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Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Catching Up & Life Stuff

• (01:10) The show starts with playful banter about intros and hosting duties, quickly establishing the signature Fire Escape Cast tone.
• (01:47-03:04) Dan’s Aruba Vacation Stories
  • Aruba as a favorite winter getaway: “I went to the Flamingo Island...just lay in a beach chair for, like, five hours and flamingos running around and drinking cocktails. It’s great.” (Dan, 02:08)
  • The tradition of escaping Minnesota winters, and nostalgia for classic 80s corporate rewards trips.
• (03:06-04:48) Kickbacks and 80s-corporate America reminiscing.

2. Movie Chat & Stress Culture

• (05:03-11:16) If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You and "Uncut Gems" comparison
  • Dan draws parallels: “It was like uncut gems for, like, stressed moms.” (Dan, 06:15)
  • Mary’s critique: “I don’t want to watch the saddest woman in existence for two and a half hours slowly want to die... It’s a really hard watch.” (Mary, 07:12)
  • Conan O’Brien playing an unusually serious therapist gets laughs and groans.

3. Travel, Food & Wine Experiences

• (11:53-16:48) Dan’s “Two Fools and a Bowl” Restaurant Experience
  • Wine tasting: Mike quickly provides detailed, credentialed opinions on every bottle Dan lists.
  • “That sounds like a great list. Yes.” (Mike, 14:38)
  • Discussion of Michelin-level meals in Dublin and “cockaliki pie” at Spitalfields, with obligatory food/sex jokes.
• (17:12-18:11) Dan’s upcoming Brazil trip leads to musings on Brazilian steakhouses and authenticity in international cuisine.
• (18:31-20:14) Running joke: the clothing/food signal system at Brazilian steakhouses.

4. Travel Memories & Geography Gaps

• (21:42-33:00) Aruba animal encounters: cats (some friendly, some aloof), roosters, and roving dog packs.
• (27:40-34:44) Mary receives a pinboard globe to track her travels, which leads to self-deprecating revelations about poor geography knowledge, a collective struggle to locate Detroit and other US landmarks, and musings on the enormity and classification of the Great Lakes.
  • “If you took every single person on earth and put them shoulder to shoulder in Lake Superior, you still would not fill it.” (Michael, 32:23)

5. Quick Science and Language Detours

• (34:44-39:41) What defines a “sea” vs. a “lake,” glacial formation, tributaries, and rivers that feed the Mississippi.
  • “Seas are always connected to the ocean, that’s where the salt comes from.” (Michael, 34:06)
• Extended tangent: favorite seas, oceans, and their first exposures to large bodies of water.

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Video Game Deep Dives

6. Mewgenics: The Main Event

• (39:41-62:44) In-depth Discussion
  • Game Setup: “It’s the most Mike Mahardy-ass game ever: tiles and tactics...if you removed the visuals and aesthetics.” (Dan, 41:01)
  • Mary describes the game as “filthy, disgusting, absurd...I can't look away. It’s Mike Mahardy.” (Mary, 41:01)
  • Debate over the off-putting humor/art style—animated cat anuses, babies, and in-game references to bodily functions and inbreeding.
  • Mechanics: Cat breeding, RPG-like progression, unlocking new classes, building the house/base, and handling cat “retirement” and disposal.
  • Broken builds and emergent gameplay: “I had a passive that made all damage one, then any one damage was zero. So my cat could not die.” (Dan, 54:22)
  • Mixed feelings about the humor, with Dan and Mary both noting they enjoy the strategy but not the aesthetic: “There’s something about this type where it just kind of feels like there’s not even a joke, it’s just like...what if this thing was like a bloody [body part]? ...I don't want that.” (Dan, 59:28)
  • Mike notes the turn-based tactics are simple early but expects more depth as the cats pass on traits.
  • Mary’s criticism: “I don’t really care for any game that takes 50 hours to open up. … It’s quite repetitive.” (Mary, 45:18)
    • Dan counters: “There are these huge signpost moments, it keeps adding… I think it’s fun from the beginning and it just keeps giving you more.” (Dan, 47:26)
  • Discussion of the grotesque, surreal humor versus classic gross-out like “Ren & Stimpy,” and how Mewgenics’ approach can feel relentless.

7. Mario Tennis: Story Mode Oddities

• (63:48-68:57)
  • Dan recounts the absurd plot: “The Mario Tennis story mode starts with Daisy laying in bed, and it’s like, she’s been—she’s not getting any better, like, she’s clearly dying… Wario and Waluigi… bust into her hospital room, and the exact quote is, ‘Yo, she doesn’t look good at all.’” (Dan, 64:13)
  • Surreal, static cut scenes; whether the game feels meaningfully different from previous entries (not really).
  • Verdict: Fine tennis gameplay, not worth $70 for single-player, but okay as a multiplayer party game.

8. MIO & Ori and the Will of the Wisps

• (69:03-74:24)
  • Mary describes her growing affection for MIO, a challenging Metroidvania: “It got really hard—somewhere in the fourth or fifth area, the platforming gets pretty brutal… but I have to take breaks now because it’s defeating to play a boss for like two hours.” (Mary, 69:40)
  • Praises the game for rewarding exploration and introspection with scenic views and music, comparing it favorably (and sometimes unfavorably) to Ori and the Blind Forest.
  • Difficulty spikes; best for “Metroidvania fans looking for the next challenge.”

9. CiniCross – Roguelite Picross

• (74:26–81:51)
  • Dan’s new obsession: “It is Picross, which I deeply love, and it’s a roguelite… it’s like the Balatro’d Picross with that Slay the Spire map.” (Dan, 74:29)
  • Description of how time limits, artifacts, and different classes change the traditional Picross formula.
  • Mary: “Seems like a really fun Steam Deck game.”
  • Highly recommended for logic/puzzle fans looking for something new.

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Fun, Quotable Moments

• Mike on vacation food: “I was horny when I got home. Amanda didn’t see it coming. No, just kidding.” (16:39)
• Dan on restaurant tasting menus: “It’s about the trust fall. … These people are really good at what they do.” (15:06)
• Mary’s embarrassing Roselle drink story: “He leans in, he goes, ‘Roselle is Thai for hibiscus.’ And I went, ‘Oh, I’m a dumb.’” (25:54)
• Mary’s pumpkin globe humility: “It’s a stark reminder that my geography is…not good. … Oh my God, I’m so good on a plane. But I cannot remember where cities are in a country.” (28:42)
• Mary on gross-out humor: “I don’t really care for any game that takes 50 hours to open up. … For a game where you’re gonna do the sewers…then the alley, then the sewers, then the caves… I had to do that a lot.” (45:18-45:50)
• Dan on gross humor: “There’s something about this type. Or it just kind of feels like there’s not even a joke or cleverness behind anything. It’s just like, what if this thing was like a bloody [body part]? …I don’t want that.” (59:28)
• Mike on Mario Tennis: “Sometimes it’s really good, like Mario Odyssey. Other times it’s like the end of a coke bender and they make Mario Tennis story mode.” (67:32)
• Mike on sports betting at games: “I absolutely get that many aspects of the culture are very off-putting...I really, really enjoy basketball. I don’t want to know what the over/under is.” (97:13)
• Mary’s massage nightmare: “The entire Timber by Pitbull song plays a second time and I'm like, that's weird...But I am not a complainer and I don’t want to say anything. … Timber by Pitbull plays a third time...” (107:14-108:34)

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Audience Emails & Responses

10. Escapism – Where Would You Go?

• (82:21–89:18)
  • Cast answers: Hanalei Bay (Mike), Twisted Metal 2 universe (Dan, if he could be a missile-shooting maniac), Stardew Valley or Bugsnax world (Mary).
  • Tangents about which cartoon/movie/video game house they'd most want to live in.

11. Trying New Things

• (91:06–103:09)
  • Experiences the hosts were resistant to but now enjoy: Dan on fine dining and yoga (“I was trained to not like it.”), Mike on learning to like the beach (“I get the appeal...and embrace it every summer now.”), Mary on sports (“I was wrong. Basketball’s fun. Sports are fun.”).
  • Additional stories: Pilates, P90X, and learning to appreciate different forms of exercise and self-care.

12. Worst Songs Stuck in Your Head

• (104:26–115:42)
  • Mike: “Country Girl” by Luke Bryan (by marriage, not choice).
  • Mary: Repeatedly hearing “Timber” by Pitbull during a massage.
  • Dan: “Smooth” by Santana/Rob Thomas on theater loop, “Take Me Home Tonight” era, “The Limbo Song” for years unconsciously.
  • Extended riffing on humming/earworm songs, shower ballads, and falsettos.

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Closing & Plugs

• (119:03-end)
  • Dan plugs Giant Bomb, new shows, and Abby Russell’s return with a Tomadachi Life-themed dating show.
  • Mike describes ongoing Total Warhammer 3 playthroughs with Vinny on Firescape and Nexlander.
  • Mary talks about her wholesome Steam bundle for American Heart Association and streaming (noting the A Short Hike inclusion in the charity bundle).
  • Banter about fidget toys and making progress on Pilates/yoga routines.

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Episode Tone & Spirit

• Signature irreverence and warmth: The episode is full of playful jabs, entertaining personal stories, and honest (sometimes crass) humor, especially about video game gross-outs and bodily functions.
• Insightful analysis: Despite the jokes and diversions, the crew offers meaningful, nuanced takes on Mewgenics, the evolution of genre tastes, and balancing “feeling seen” versus game-based discomfort.
• Quotable spontaneous moments: The discussion often breaks for delighted laughter or eye-rolling at Mike’s food/wine expertise, Mary’s travel gaffes, or Dan’s persistent limbo song.

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Notable Timestamps

• 02:08 – Dan on Aruba's Flamingo Island
• 06:15 – "Uncut Gems for stressed moms"—Dan
• 13:16–14:47 – Mike’s sommelier rundown of Dan’s wine tasting
• 25:54 – Mary's "Roselle is Thai for hibiscus" embarrassment
• 39:41–62:44 – Mewgenics review (core segment)
• 64:13 – Mario Tennis story mode absurdity
• 69:40 – Mary on MIO's difficulty spike
• 74:29–81:51 – CiniCross (Roguelite Picross) deep dive
• 91:06 – Listeners email: "Trying New Things"
• 104:26 – Worst song stuck in your head stories

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Listener Value

Whether you’re here for the gaming discourse, tales of Aruba or geography flubs, or just to hear the cast riff on Dick-shaped Bugsnax and massaged-induced Pitbull trauma, this episode offers a fun, unfiltered window into what makes Fire Escape Cast a staple for gaming—and life—fans alike.

Transcript

[Mary Kish]

Day or night, VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home, we're here to help things run smoothly. Because a great trip starts with the right support. And, hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.

[Michael Mahari]

Good evening, Hugo. Evening. We're back with the Fire Escape.

[Dan Rert]

That's not even his actual name. Rhymes with evening. Why did you change it?

[Michael Mahari]

I'm. No, it doesn't.

[Dan Rert]

No, wait, you went. Good evening, Hugo. Oh, that's what you said. Weavening. You could have just done weaving.

[Michael Mahari]

No person. No, I. I do actual rhymes. I'm not lazy. No low hanging fruit. I'm your host, as always, Michael Mahari here with Dan Rert.

[Dan Rert]

Yes, that's me. Hi.

[Michael Mahari]

And Mary Kish.

[Mary Kish]

I'm also here.

[Michael Mahari]

Well, one of these days, I'll get it without you interrupting, Dan. But until until then, you got to.

[Dan Rert]

Just come with a better. There's got to be a better intro.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to our podcast about video. Video games.

[Dan Rert]

Super serious. I don't like it. This is worse.

[Michael Mahari]

What do you do?

[Dan Rert]

A good one. I don't do interns because I did too much pressure. I don't like to host podcasts. I just respond to things on them.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, it's way more fun to not host. Like.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, you just kind of sit there and respond to stuff. It's great.

[Michael Mahari]

I pine for those days when I went on the Beast cast and Vinnie did all the heavy lifting.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, God. Vinnie was real good at that.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, Yeah, I was really good.

[Dan Rert]

But, Vinnie, rest in peace.

[Michael Mahari]

Dan, you're looking super tan.

[Dan Rert]

No, I'm not.

[Michael Mahari]

No. This is my segue into Aruba.

[Mary Kish]

We all know that. Dan goes to tan his buns off.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Actually, I did lay around outside. I went to the Flamingo Island. I don't know if you know about that.

[Michael Mahari]

In Aruba, it's just shaped like a flamingo.

[Dan Rert]

Flamingos running around everywhere. It's great.

[Michael Mahari]

Nice.

[Dan Rert]

I just lay in a beach chair for, like, five hours and flamingos running around and drinking cocktails. It's great.

[Michael Mahari]

That sounds nice.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, I was just. For the Minnesota winters, Obviously, they get real rough and typically, like, February is about the worst time because it's just like it's been long enough that you're so fucking ready for it to be over, but there's still a good amount left and you're in, like, the deep freeze part of it. So I think Bonk and I decided we want to start, like, you know, frequently doing, like, Aruba trips. Like, maybe every year in February.

[Mary Kish]

Why Aruba? Why not, like, just because, you know, a lot of birds fly south for winter. But you guys are specifically choosing Aruba?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, we went in 2022 and we were just like, we just want to go someplace warm, you know, and we found this and heard a lot of people saying great things about it. And we loved it so much that we're like, well, we could try different ones. We could try Dominican Republic or Jamaica or Bermuda or whatever. But we fucking love Aruba. So I think we're just going to keep doing that. And this was even better than the first time.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I've been to Aruba twice.

[Dan Rert]

It's great.

[Mary Kish]

But as a child.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, that's probably different than how we spent it. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Back in the day when my dad worked at. It doesn't really matter, but I probably. Probably Procter and Gamble. This was back in the day when sales guys used to get crazy kickbacks and the government just looked the other way. And one of the. I feel like I can tell the story now because he's retired. I don't think they'll come for him.

[Michael Mahari]

I think there's a statute of limitations on stuff like that, for the record.

[Mary Kish]

So he murdered a guy.

[Dan Rert]

Sweet.

[Mary Kish]

I think. I think that back then, if you sold enough, they would be like. And you win a trip to Aruba with a family of four. A major award. And so he won it two years. Once I was like, probably seven. So I have, like, no memories of this trip. But I went to Aruba with my dad on, like, a business trip. And they told me when I was much older, he's like, just so you know, those were free work trips. Didn't pay a dime. That's so sick. But also, like, kind of crazy that you're allowed to do that as an old, you know, like, as a. As a working salary man.

[Michael Mahari]

God, I missed the 80s those days.

[Mary Kish]

You could do. You get away with all sorts of crazy shit back then.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, my. Was before.

[Michael Mahari]

Before the country realized how much damage it was doing to itself economically. I don't know enough about the 80s to talk intelligently about it. I wasn't even alive during the 80s, but I feel like I would have fit in in the 80s.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

A thousand percent 80s, dude. Don't you, like, you just look like someone.

[Michael Mahari]

Finally, someone said it. Been going for that for, like, years now.

[Dan Rert]

No I've been thinking it. I didn't say it, but, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

New York City stockbroker from the 80s with ax to grind, and.

[Michael Mahari]

Yep.

[Mary Kish]

You know, just a pension for, like, just ready to go at any minute.

[Michael Mahari]

Company card, ready to slam down on.

[Mary Kish]

Some sick Bordeaux looking for a man in finance. Yeah, I think that's you.

[Michael Mahari]

But no, no. Speaking of 80s, I watched. We watched McGruber again recently, and Roadhouse literally say, God bless you.

[Dan Rert]

God bless you. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

You texted me that while I was in Aruba, I think, and I was like, yeah, you're. You're my favorite couple. That's the greatest thing.

[Michael Mahari]

We had a week. We had quite a week. So we're like, let's watch. I don't want to watch. Like, I think we intended to watch a few more movies we hadn't caught up on from 2025. Like, what about, like, not train dreams, but, like, not that vibe. We're like, let's do MacGruber. And then right after.

[Mary Kish]

I don't want to cry tonight, honey. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

That got us in the mood for Roadhouse, the original. I still have not seen the Jake Gyllenhaal one. I can't remember.

[Dan Rert]

You can skip it. It's. It's not. It's not a nightmare or anything, but it's not worth it. There's no reason to watch when you could just watch the first one again.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, God. Roadhouse is so awesome.

[Dan Rert]

We. We watched something right before Aruba that wound up being funny because I. Going into Aruba, it was like, all right, it's so cold. It's February. And I was kind of stressing because it's like, I got a couple embargoed games that it's like, oh, man. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to play enough before I go on vacation. I want to be able to record this quick. Look, I want to do all this. It was Mario Tennis. It was embargoed at the time, and I watched. If I had legs, I'd kick you. I don't know if you guys. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, yeah, I've seen it. It's. I'm interested. What, you think I have an opinion about it.

[Dan Rert]

I loved it. It was, like, uncut gems for, like, stressed moms. So. But it was basically. It's like. The short version is it's like, Roseburn is a woman. I forget where they say where she lived or whatever. But anyway, she's got a daughter that's, like, got a horrible eating or stomach situation, has a tube in her stomach. And her husband's like, a cruise ship pilot, so he's out for like a week. She's going through all these nightmares at work. This kid is unhealthy. Like, it's just like. It's like uncut gems, levels of stress and insane stuff she's dealing with for a week. And I watched that and it really kind of reframed my complaints of, like, it's kind of cold and I don't know if I'm going to have time to play Mario tennis before I go to Aruba.

[Mary Kish]

You don't need to watch a horrible person existence to know that you are the most privileged boy in modern times.

[Dan Rert]

This is a stark reminder of, like, okay, maybe this isn't. Maybe stress is a relative term. You know, Borto.

[Michael Mahari]

Yet I'm so worried. Grow up.

[Mary Kish]

It's a. It's a miserable film. I. I did not care for it. And I think it's. I think it's a master class in storytelling. I think it's well done, incredible in it. She's. She's an excellent actress. My complaints are not about the direction, the story, the. The acting, all of that. Phenomenal. My problem is, is I don't want to watch the saddest woman in existence for two and a half hours slowly, like, want to die. It's a really hard watch. And, like, uncut Gems is not that. It is just, like, what's going to happen next? Oh, my God, he's going to get caught. Oh, my gosh. That girl's, like, trying to have sex with him. Oh, my God, he's gambling too much. All of this is, like, exciting.

[Dan Rert]

Hers is just, like, player, stolen gym.

[Mary Kish]

God, this woman can't even drink a bottle of wine. Her daughter's dying right in front of her, and she's, like, wasting away.

[Dan Rert]

It's trying to buy, like, drugs on the dark web with her, like, apartment neighbor miserable.

[Michael Mahari]

That sounds. You sold me.

[Dan Rert]

It is, like, yeah, I guess Uncut Gems is like a movie movie with, like, you know, big, larger than life characters. And this is just like, oh, realistic problems that people can very realistically go through when you're just watching.

[Mary Kish]

This happens to people every day and, like a. It's like healthcare system. She, like, can't get, like, someone to fix a fucking hole in her house so she can't live there, so she's staying in a shitty hotel. And, like, no one will fix it. And it's just this miserable story.

[Dan Rert]

But Conan o' Brien is your therapist.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, he's not Funny at all. And that pissed me off because she opens the door, she's upset, she's crying about her shitty life on a couch, and she's got a therapist. And the camera slowly pans up and it's Conan o'. Brien. And I literally went, yay. He's probably gonna do thing Wacky. Yeah, absolutely. Plays a straight, straight laced, no funny, no sass guy the entire time. Not one joke out of this man.

[Michael Mahari]

That'll. That itself is hilarious funny.

[Dan Rert]

So it's like the weirdest cast ever. It's Roseburn asap. Rocky and Conan o'. Brien. Stressful movie ever.

[Mary Kish]

Not funny.

[Michael Mahari]

He.

[Mary Kish]

It's a very serious film. I cannot understate this. It's a serious tone film. And every scene with him, he's like, you got to get out of here. You can't handle this right now. And it's just like, where the. Are you to take a serious role with that face?

[Dan Rert]

Jeez. Wow. Har.

[Mary Kish]

Conan, he is a clown. We know this.

[Dan Rert]

He knows it.

[Mary Kish]

More than ridiculous. The joke when he takes photos is people are like, man, I didn't even know a lesbian could do that. Like, he just looks like a redheaded lesbian.

[Dan Rert]

The entire movie.

[Mary Kish]

So, yeah, he does not do the scissor cut move. He doesn't do any of his. He doesn't do any of his signature lines. It is. It is ripping me from my awareness of what I thought of. Like, there was just. There's no comedic relief.

[Dan Rert]

Well, at the end, though, it's a great thing. Like, man, we should have kids. That just seems great.

[Mary Kish]

Fucking nutso. I can't believe it. I think it's interesting that we have such different.

[Michael Mahari]

It's like getting a dog after you saw Cujo.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, it's just like a window into, like, I think I enjoy is a weird word, I guess, but it was like, it was just like an eye opening thing of like, oh, man, I bet some lives are really like, that's. How do people do that? You know? Like, she's dealing with a fucking lot in that movie. And it's like, it didn't win at the end of it. It's like I kept waiting for it to go into horror or something crazy. And it's like, wait, no, that's just.

[Mary Kish]

Actually just her life is horrific.

[Dan Rert]

That is an extremely stressful life. And it was very.

[Mary Kish]

Really. Yeah, it's a really difficult life. I will say. I will also, like, acknowledge. I think it's a worthy watch. And we often, like, we glamorize stressful films. You Know as like, wow, what a crazy ride this one is. Not that I think it's just meant to be a stark reality of how tough life can be, especially for like caregivers. But God, I would never watch it again.

[Dan Rert]

No, I bonk. And I agreed on that too. Where it's like, we both enjoyed it, but it's like. And we would recommend it to people. But I cannot imagine being like, I'm in the mood to watch if I had Legs tonight, you know, like, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It'S a one Requiem for a Dream. If it just focused on one sad for the whole time.

[Dan Rert]

Yes.

[Michael Mahari]

And no double sided dildo, which is like, no dildo.

[Dan Rert]

There's that one scene with Conan. Conan goes to town. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

All right.

[Mary Kish]

Now that's funny. I'm back in. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Wow, I didn't know I could stretch that wide. That's my opponent.

[Mary Kish]

Thanks, Conan.

[Michael Mahari]

It's my first time I ever tried Conan.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, Mike, Mike. I promised Mary I'd keep this part short here and. And for the viewers, promise that we're gonna do lightning round style here. Okay. I thought of you a lot when I went to this place called. It's my favorite restaurant. They're called Two Fools and a Bowl. And it's a prefix type thing where it's like, like, you know, 15 people can get in a night and it's this hours long thing where there's courses and they take you out and you drink champagne and it's just like a whole. It's your whole night basically. And you can do the reserve wine pairing, which is like the super nice wines apparently as they sold it to us. But the whole time I'm thinking like, I got to hear what Maharti has to say about it. Okay. So I'm going to list some of the wines I tasted. I forget what I paired it with and you just give me a one sentence rundown. All right? Okay. Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, there's a chance. I don't even know where some of them are from, but I'll do my best.

[Dan Rert]

Well, you're going to look like a horse's ass if that's the case.

[Mary Kish]

The test test.

[Dan Rert]

One seller selection. Dom Perignon champagne, 2012.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, Dom Perignon, that's good champagne. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

It's. Yeah, it's always very, very solid champagne.

[Mary Kish]

Is it a good year?

[Michael Mahari]

2012 you said? Yeah, I believe it was a cooler year. Probably higher, like lifted laser acid as opposed to rich.

[Dan Rert]

Jesus. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Casanova de Neri, Brunello di Montalcino, Caroletto Tuscany, 2015. Brunello.

[Mary Kish]

Wait, that was one wine.

[Dan Rert]

That's what I'm looking at on this mirror.

[Michael Mahari]

Ready? First, the first few words.

[Dan Rert]

Casanova de Neri. Brunello.

[Michael Mahari]

Casanova de Nary. Yeah, Brunello. Southern Tuscany. It's like lower elevation, Sangiovese. Full bodied. Probably. Literally has to spend. Has to spend five years aging before they even release it to the public.

[Dan Rert]

Okay. Behringer Private Reserve, Napa Valley, 2017. Cab sav.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, Cabernet Sauvignon. I've never had that. I've had their sparkling. They're more famous for their sparkling. Or. No, no, no, I'm sorry, that's. I'm thinking of Schramsburg. Yeah. Behringer. It's a classic. Napa Cab, chimney rock, tomahawk 2019. Rock. That's also Napa, I think.

[Mary Kish]

You dumbass.

[Michael Mahari]

That's Napa. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Ron Bauer, diamond selection, Napa Valley, 2017. Oh, God.

[Michael Mahari]

They really went hard on Napa after Opus One. Oh, wow.

[Dan Rert]

Okay, so that's one Duckhorn, Three Palms Vineyard.

[Michael Mahari]

Okay.

[Dan Rert]

Opus One, Napa Valley. On like all these.

[Michael Mahari]

If you had a glass of Opus One. That's. That's good. One of the, like the OG first growth Bordeaux houses. Started it with Robert Mondavi to make wines over here.

[Dan Rert]

I know, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

It's good though.

[Dan Rert]

So are these. So are these good? Were these good or are they blowing smoke? Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

No, no, no. It's. It's a very, very. If, like, if. If it sounds like you got your money's worth, there's no, like, crazy. Well, yeah, that's very true, I guess.

[Dan Rert]

I mean, it was for. For all those. And like, it's like tiny pours of each one. It's like 135.

[Michael Mahari]

Those are all pricey wines for the most part, if you were to get them by the bottle.

[Dan Rert]

So I'm sure they're just tiny little pores.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. Like a. Probably a three ounce or something. That. That sounds like a great list. Yes.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

All right. No surprises. But, like, that's not. I don't think that's what most people there are looking for. It's a. It's a good list.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

I like. I like the prefix thing. That is the first place I've done that at. And I really liked it a lot.

[Mary Kish]

Fixes too, because I like the idea that I don't have to make a decision. I like the idea that like a chef somewhere is like, this is what you want and you'll like it. And I'm like, yes, sir.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

And they'll give you stuff that you would never order.

[Mary Kish]

What I like? Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Stuff you would never order off a menu. Like one of them was like salmon cheesecake or something or something weird like that. I was like, I would never fucking order that off a menu. But it's like you just put your trust in them. Okay. These people are really good at what they do. And then you eat. It's like, yep. I never would have ordered that, but that was incredible. I've never tasted anything like that in my life.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, there's one of the treat. Yeah, Some of my favorite places in. I was just. I was just talking to someone who's going to Dublin in the beginning of April and I was like, oh, I have a couple recommendations if you need them. And we're on a work call with them and they're like, no, yeah, immediately I would love some. And it was funny because I think I had two of my favorite meals in a long, long time. Back to back nights in Dublin. The first one was Delir Street. It was a Michelin star restaurant. It's wine pairing. It was a pre feed like, like everything. You were just talking about really good wines, like knowledgeable sommelier staff. It was awesome. It was great. But it was very much like sit at the chef's counter, watch them make this stuff, they'll tell you all about it. The next night I had what I think is still my favorite meal I've ever had in my life. And it was at this pub called Spite. No, it was at this pub called Spitalfields in Dublin as well, just down the road from Delere Street. And we got the cackaliki pie. I think I talked about it before. And the beef cheek and oxtail stuffed rolls, basically Parker house rolls. Stuff, red meat and just like baked. And then of course I had a few Guinnesses and it was one of the best meals of my life.

[Dan Rert]

Is the gimmick that all of their food sounds dirty. Cockaliki and the stuff.

[Mary Kish]

I'll have the cockaliki and cheeky.

[Dan Rert]

Maybe shove the sausage in the rolls and I'll take one cockaliki, please.

[Michael Mahari]

I was horny when I got home. Amanda didn't see it coming. No, I Just kidding.

[Dan Rert]

She can probably hear me right now.

[Michael Mahari]

It was really good though.

[Mary Kish]

You can hear off Mike going, ugh.

[Dan Rert]

Door shut, feet going downstairs, car tires peeling out.

[Michael Mahari]

I get served papers from somebody that was waiting. Yeah, does sound like a good wine list, Dan. And I'm looking forward to. I've got some travel coming up. It's pretty hectic schedule, but it's generally to places where I know to be good food. I'm looking forward to that.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. I'm going to Brazil for the first time in April, and so if anyone listening has Brazil recommendations, let me know. I'll be going there solo. Is it for bgs, Gamescom, Latam?

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, gotcha.

[Dan Rert]

Yep, yep. I'm gonna check that out.

[Michael Mahari]

And there's not a lot of red meat in Brazil. You're gonna eat a lot of vegetables.

[Dan Rert]

That's a shame. Yeah. Yeah. Mary. I remember the Brazilian Steakhouse we went to, and there's just no meat.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, no meat.

[Michael Mahari]

It's all salad bars and, like, shish kebabs with specifically mushrooms and olives and. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna come back.

[Mary Kish]

Is Brazilian Steakhouse really what it is, or is it, like, going to Outback Steakhouse where it's like, we just decorated this as if it is Australia. Like, is much as I love. Really known for that.

[Michael Mahari]

Like, much as I love Foga. To show I don't think it's indicative of Brazil proper. It's just.

[Dan Rert]

It is good, though.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, I'll crush it. I love it. But, like, yeah, I never liked that argument.

[Dan Rert]

It was like, Taco Bell is not real Mexican foods. I know. Are you kidding me? I like Taco Bell. I don't think it's authentic.

[Michael Mahari]

I don't.

[Dan Rert]

I don't.

[Michael Mahari]

I didn't, like, wake up, like, those nights or those days during GDC in the past and say, I would love an authentic Brazilian experience tonight. I'm like, I just want to go somewhere where they have a giant of meat they're going to shave on my plate.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Bring a sword of meat and say, tell us when you're done. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

But, yeah, I think it is kind of the outback of Brazil.

[Mary Kish]

When you walk around, if you have a little green shirt on, people just keep feeding you while you're walking around you to change into your red shirt so that they leave you alone.

[Dan Rert]

I like the idea of doing it that way.

[Michael Mahari]

Is that a thing they do?

[Dan Rert]

Oh, yeah. You get the coaster thing. The coaster for flipping it over. Like, the red is like, stop throwing.

[Mary Kish]

Sword meat at me. Who's uncultured now.

[Michael Mahari]

Shirt you put on.

[Dan Rert]

No, she's saying, that would be great for the actual walking down the street experience in Brazil.

[Michael Mahari]

I get it. So the street vendors don't throw me.

[Dan Rert]

Yes, yes.

[Michael Mahari]

That'd be good whiskey.

[Dan Rert]

It's hot. It'll scald you.

[Mary Kish]

It's dangerous.

[Michael Mahari]

Just dodging meat. Story of My life.

[Mary Kish]

I feel like we all have a lot of travel coming up. I'm okay for a little bit, but I think it's going to pick up in. In March because I think there is a PAX or no. Yeah, right.

[Dan Rert]

I'll be there. Boston.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. One year anniversary of GB going independent.

[Mary Kish]

That's a big deal for you, isn't it? Going back because that was very stressful. Speaking of uncut gems.

[Dan Rert]

Oh my God.

[Mary Kish]

Every Giant Bomb member at PAX east last year was like watching someone having a heart attack. They were all on their phones all the time. Everyone was sweaty and upset and it.

[Dan Rert]

Was doing like docu signs.

[Mary Kish]

That day was a crazy experience. Nobody really knew if it was going to be okay or not. That was the truth.

[Dan Rert]

Every single person there understandably sees you walking on the show floor and they're coming up with like, condolences because there was some negative Giant Bomb news in just the days prior. And so. Hey, really sorry, what's going on? I just had to be like, uhhuh. Hey, come to the panel, you know? Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

You're like trying to work on your cry face when you're smiling. Yeah, it is hard.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, ye.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, we're really upset. That's a good one, Mike. Are you crying or laughing? Are you happy or sad?

[Michael Mahari]

Wouldn't you like to know? Daisy's worried.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, Paxy, this will be great.

[Michael Mahari]

I cry every morning in the shower and she tends to get worried like that. I don't.

[Dan Rert]

I'm starting to wonder if Boss is an asshole. My cat, because I know. I think he's not an. I think he's just shy. But like, you know, we go to Aruba and the hotel had these cats that just like walk around. You know, they're just like hotel cats and they just kind of like go outside and like the pool area, they walk around, they just sleep in chairs. They're super chill and like, you can just walk by them. They'll start meowing at you and like lay down and like, you know, taking pets and stuff like that. And Boss is so like standoffish and we'll just kind of like, oh, if he's in the mood, yeah, you can maybe come up and pet him for a little bit. But he'll probably run away if we have guests over. He's always hiding under the bed, stuff like that.

[Mary Kish]

If you look at Boss, he usually like scoffs and walks away.

[Dan Rert]

He's got kind of an attitude.

[Mary Kish]

He's got an attitude.

[Michael Mahari]

He was giving it up for me when I was There. But yeah, I think a lot of those cats, I will say, are also probably friendly with people because people feed them.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Michael Mahari]

But yeah, I mean, like, we've been to several places in like Saint Emilion and where else have we been where the cats are extremely friendly? Yeah, just generally those very old quiet towns in France where nothing crazy has happened for hundreds of years, if that. I think they're just. It's a calmer place where people feed them. They kind of just live out. It's pretty temperate weather all year, so they don't need to worry about not a lot of stress, really fending for their lives.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah, there are roosters running around too. And you know, you're growing up watching cartoons and stuff, you think they, they do the cock a doodle do once when the sun rises and then that's it for the day, turns out, just all fucking day, cockadoodle do in the day away and looking it up and it's just like, oh yeah, it's not asserting dominance. So there's just this one fucking rooster walking around the hotel every.

[Mary Kish]

He's like, it's 11:00am.

[Michael Mahari]

He'S like, he's like a church bells. They have a couple of those in Key west as well. I'll be back in Key west in a few weeks, which I'm excited for because I like it down there. But yeah, no, there's just like a fucking herd of them that walk around outside screaming first thing in the morning. But then, yeah, by like 3pm it usually trails off to one or two of them that are still horny or whatever they're doing.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, the horny dominance thing. Yeah, yeah. There's like roving packs of dogs too, which like, you know, we would walk. We were kind of staying like a central island area, but you could walk to the downtown. It's like a 20 minute walk and it's like everything. Aruba's a very safe island. But it's like I did, it did give me pause a couple times where it's like, oh, there's just a pack of six or seven, not small dogs. And they are barking and running up to people and stuff. Like, God, are we just gonna get mauled by dogs on this like relaxing vacation?

[Michael Mahari]

That would be terrible.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah. Like, is that, I wonder, should I have been scared by that? It seemed, it seemed like a scary situation.

[Mary Kish]

It's, it is like a slight risk. I will, like, as a dog lover, I'll always be like, no. But like when dogs have no owner like that and they had some collars, feral pups. Some of them. Some of them are probably like just random running around pups. Sometimes we're on leashes.

[Dan Rert]

They had collars, though, but yeah, they were just running around the streets.

[Mary Kish]

Sometimes they can take a little snip of you, so you have to have a little caution with that. Yeah, sure.

[Michael Mahari]

They might not be up to date with their shots.

[Mary Kish]

I bet you there's an app on your phone that has, like the whistle tone that dogs don't like. And you could probably play it on your phone in case you get scared and they'd get like, they'd run away.

[Michael Mahari]

It has the adverse effect. That just pisses them off and they maul you more quickly.

[Dan Rert]

No, it just makes them super horny.

[Mary Kish]

It's just an app that goes here. Boy.

[Michael Mahari]

I would pay so much money to watch a horn horny pack of dogs just chase Dan around Aruba for four nights.

[Dan Rert]

Just sprinting and sweating with all these dogs chasing me.

[Michael Mahari]

It's on brown noise shots of Home Alone.

[Dan Rert]

No, that didn't happen like that. But yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Mary, what have you been up to?

[Mary Kish]

I've been working a lot on some work trips that we have coming up. I wish. I, like, let me think. I went out to dinner, too, and I think of, like, if I had any cool stories of fancy things that I've done. But I haven't really traveled. But I did go to a Thai restaurant and I was excited because it feels like it's like one of those more authentic, like, really nice Thai restaurants. And they had. They had like a. What do you call it? They had an alcoholic drink, and it was called a Roselle slushie. And I was like, oh, that sounds good. Like a slushie that tastes like rose. Rose or something. Anyway, I got it and it didn't taste like rose at all. And so I. I always get nervous doing this because I don't want to ever complain, but I was like, maybe this is somebody else's drink because it doesn't taste like rose at all. And so I flagged down the waiter and I said, hey, I'm so sorry. I just want to make sure that this is supposed to be my drink because I ordered the roselle and it's pretty fruity. And he said, he leaned in, he goes, roselle is Thai for hibiscus. And then he walked away. And I went, oh, I'm a dumb.

[Michael Mahari]

And I looked like white Godzilla strikes again.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. And I had, like my little straw. And I was like, oh, it's very good. But I realized, like, I don't know anything about this place and I need to stop complaining or asking questions. I wasn't trying to complain, but obviously it came across like I was.

[Michael Mahari]

And you're only going to call it Roselle from now on. Whenever you get hibiscus tea.

[Mary Kish]

I think the next time somebody has a drink that has hibiscus in it, I'm going to lean in and go, in Thai, it's called Roselle. And I'm going to sound really smart.

[Dan Rert]

And no, you should complain to the waiter when it's called hibiscus that it doesn't taste like Rose.

[Mary Kish]

They're going to turn around and it's going to be that same waiter. Yeah. He's going to be like, you stupid, ignorant lady.

[Michael Mahari]

I remember when that game came out on Switch and everybody was correct in each one. Another is like, it's pronounced Greece. It's Spanish for gray.

[Dan Rert]

I do remember that. Yes.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I remember that was happening. One specific person did it. It wasn't actually multiple people.

[Mary Kish]

I remember when I had my trip to Barcelona. Oh, when I was living in Barcelona.

[Michael Mahari]

I said my third. My third stag. And Ibiza. That was wonderful. Had some. Had some Coors lattes, had some Vod sods.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, God.

[Michael Mahari]

But, yeah, no, it's. I'm. I'm going back to places I've been. I'm doing Stockholm, Paris. Key west is for leisure. And then there's one more. Oh, L.A. so they're all.

[Mary Kish]

Are they all connected or do you go home?

[Michael Mahari]

Key west and Paris are connected, but the other two are breaks in between. I'm excited for the breaks.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

I'm looking forward to Stockholm again. I think we have a few listeners in Stockholm. I liked it a lot. I went there, like, almost exactly two years ago and loved it. Even this time of year.

[Mary Kish]

It's been a minute. My dad got me a cool gift. He got me a cork board globe with pins so that I could put pins in all of the places that I visited. I thought it was actually quite thoughtful. And I spent last night putting pins in different. Different countries and different cities that I've visited. I'll go downstairs and get it if you guys want to see it, because I actually think it's a cool.

[Dan Rert]

Really cool. I think I'm gonna buy one because I've always loved globes and maps and everything. And that's a fun kind of, like, personalization on that. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's very personal to put the pin in. But I also recognized I was testing myself a little bit. Because anytime I was like, oh, yeah, I've been to Mallorca, I was like, where the is that? I'm, like, looking for it because it's an island. It's very small. And I was like, I don't know where this is. And I was, like, embarrassing myself. So I had to, like, have me get my, like, Google Map out to be like, where are all these places that I've traveled to so I can put my little pin in them and. And be proud of it.

[Dan Rert]

I like that. I'm gonna buy one tonight. That sounds great.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I thought it was a neat gift, but I will. I think it is a stark reminder that my geography is. Is not good. I have put all of my points and other things. I have put them into, you know, leisurely chats with the friends and bowling and gaming and all of these others. Being an excellent person on planes. Oh, my God, I'm so good on a plane. But I. I cannot remember specifically where cities are in a country ever. And so if someone was like, you were in Cannes, I'd be like, yes. They'd be like, now where is that? And I'd be like, south. And that's it. That's all I could tell you.

[Dan Rert]

I wonder if, like. Because, like, there are certain things, like, with memory and things like that, that I'm extremely good at. Like. Like spelling we've talked about before. And like, I also, like, with states and state outlines and even, like, you know, remembering capitals and stuff like that. It's been a while since I thought of that, but, like, you know, I could easily, if I could, draw a map of the US and get all the states exactly right as far as, like, where they are and everything. So, like, that. I don't know if that's like a photographic memory thing because, like, remembering details of things or, like, have me describe the events of a movie I saw two weeks ago, and I probably won't be able to remember, but I could draw the map pretty accurately right now.

[Mary Kish]

I think that's, you know, that's a great skill to have. And I'm a little embarrassed that even when I was doing the United States, I was like, well, I've been to Detroit, and I know Michigan. It looks like a glove. But then I was like, where's Detroit? And I, like, had to think about it, and, like, I. It's embarrassing that I don't remember specifically where Detroit is in Michigan on a map. I didn't know exactly where Chicago was in Illinois. You know what I Mean, like, I. I knew which state it was, but I couldn't remember where in the state it was. Do you think you could do that without looking it up?

[Dan Rert]

The city stuff? Yeah, I think most big ones. I mean, definitely all the state placements, but I think most cities.

[Mary Kish]

Where's Detroit?

[Michael Mahari]

On the.

[Mary Kish]

On the glove.

[Dan Rert]

Detroit's on the west part of the glove. It borders the. One of the Great Lakes that. Erie or is that Detroit's, like, on the lake. Right, the Great Lake.

[Michael Mahari]

When you say left, you mean the Upper Peninsula West.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, no. Yeah. No, on the. On the mitten. It's on the mitten.

[Michael Mahari]

It's on the. Yeah, it's on the main.

[Dan Rert]

It's on the west side of the mitten. Right. Like, kind of lower. Lower west.

[Michael Mahari]

It's on Lake Michigan, isn't it?

[Dan Rert]

Oh, that would make sense. Yeah. Am I totally off?

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I think you're right. It's on. Or is it. It's. It's definitely on the lower peninsula, but I'm trying to remember if it's west or east.

[Dan Rert]

I thought it was west side. There's, like, big ones, you know, California, obviously. Like, San Francisco's up there. LA is down there. And then you got San Diego further down by the Mexico border.

[Mary Kish]

Do you want to know?

[Michael Mahari]

Let me. Detroit.

[Mary Kish]

It's on the thumb.

[Dan Rert]

Okay. Yeah. Lower west. Yeah. Attracts, right?

[Michael Mahari]

No, it's lower east this way. It's closer to, like.

[Mary Kish]

Are these mirrored?

[Dan Rert]

The video listeners are getting a treat right now. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

It's also not even. Oh, it's more on, like, Huron.

[Mary Kish]

I know. I see. And I. I was like, my family is from Niagara Falls or the Buffalo area, and I have been to Niagara Falls more times as a child. Like, that was where we went. And I was like, now, where are these? Now where is this? I was like, that's embarrassing. You should know exactly where Buffalo is. You fucking grew up there. Like.

[Michael Mahari]

Well, yeah, Been there. That would be like. Yeah. Detroit is not on Lake Michigan whatsoever. It's on part of Lake Erie, Lake Sinclair, which Chicago.

[Dan Rert]

On Lake Michigan. Like, the actual, like, placement of the Great Lakes.

[Michael Mahari]

Huron, Erie, Michigan, Ontario and Superior.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

And lakes is so misleading. Have you guys ever, liked, time on them?

[Dan Rert]

Like, you can't see the other side. Yeah, it's.

[Michael Mahari]

It's. What was the. I was looking at a stat. It was like, mathematically, if you took every single person on earth and put them shoulder to shoulder in Lake Superior, you still would not fill it.

[Dan Rert]

Jesus, that sounds like you got to come up with a new word for.

[Michael Mahari]

That, yeah, it's mysterious.

[Mary Kish]

Mini ocean.

[Dan Rert]

There's ocean, there's sea. I think that's the sea is basically a mini ocean. Right. And then you got just called the Great Lakes. The Great Seas.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

They're probably bigger than most seas, right?

[Michael Mahari]

They're bigger than many seas. Yeah, for sure, they're huge. They're also. It's not if you're looking at like most world maps, what determines what a.

[Mary Kish]

Lake is, Is it who finds it fresh water?

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, it's completely enclosed.

[Dan Rert]

Fresh water or seas or salt water? Assume.

[Michael Mahari]

Right, yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

See, these are the things that I think of when I look at my cork globe and realize that I am.

[Michael Mahari]

But then you got bays and harbors. Like harbors. I know is an actual harbor is more an indication of its economic purpose than its actual geography.

[Dan Rert]

Like a port type thing. Here's a dumb question I've never thought of before. Okay. Seas, lakes, oceans, all that stuff, they're all bodies of water, obviously oceans much, much bigger. Now are you saying that are seas always salt water?

[Michael Mahari]

I believe so, but I could be very wrong.

[Dan Rert]

Okay, so a sea is like a big ass lake. So what is the thing initially when it was formed that makes one of them continue to be salt water and other ones continue to not? Like, why does Lake Michigan have fresh water in it? And like, what's a famous. Like the Red Sea has salt and it just stays that way or how is it. Because the way they were seas.

[Michael Mahari]

So I think crucially, seas are always connected to the ocean. That's where the salt comes from.

[Dan Rert]

They are connected, yes.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, well then like if you look at the Sea of Japan, it's technically part of the Pacific Ocean. Like, or if you look at this, the Red Sea, like, like lakes also, like if the, the Finger Lakes specifically. I know we're not talking about the Finger Lakes, we're talking about the Great Lakes. But finger lakes are glacial cavities which I believe like happened during massive floods. Like the Missourian Flood, Missoula flood, back like millions of years ago. That like basically created all the lakes in Minneapolis and the north, the midwestern United States. And like a lot of the freshwater came from those. But I believe seas are always connected to the ocean, hence the salt.

[Dan Rert]

Then why isn't. Okay, the Mississippi river is connected to the ocean. Why is that not salt?

[Michael Mahari]

It flows into the ocean, doesn't come from the ocean.

[Mary Kish]

So okay, another number going out not in Dan, Mississippi.

[Dan Rert]

Where's that all coming from?

[Michael Mahari]

Which, which great lake is it? Isn't it starting a Great lake.

[Dan Rert]

Start it. I'm looking at. It goes way up my 35 here.

[Michael Mahari]

Is this it?

[Mary Kish]

Do you want me to get my globe, Google Maps?

[Dan Rert]

Where the fuck does it goes all the way up to Minneapolis and then where the fuck does it go? Mississippi River. Okay. It keeps going up. Is it going all the way to Canada? The big fucking river.

[Mary Kish]

I mean, it's. Isn't most of that.

[Michael Mahari]

It gets its water, Dan. Get this. It gets its water from its headwaters at Lake Itasca in Minnesota, fed by springs, lakes and rainfall, and then collects water.

[Mary Kish]

Feeling your water, Dan.

[Dan Rert]

So down in Kansas City, when I. Down by St. Louis, where the Mississippi river goes through. That's Minnesota lake water I'm looking at in large part.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. But also rainfall and springs, like underground springs, et cetera.

[Mary Kish]

That's sweet. Sweet Minnesota blue.

[Michael Mahari]

You were just swimming up river, ocean.

[Dan Rert]

There are so many things that just happen every day that you just never think about. And then you hear what they come from and it's like. That's interesting.

[Michael Mahari]

I like. Not to bring it back to wine again, but honestly, studying wine, I'm looking at maps most of the time. I'm reading about shit like how certain, like, countries formed from some, like some tectonic collision that happened millions of years ago. And like all of a sudden the Jurassic period starts to make more sense because it deposited certain soil types. And like half of my wine studying is maps and like, of different sorts, like soil maps or rainfall patterns.

[Dan Rert]

This shit is crazy. I'm looking at Lake Itasca now and it is not a large lake, not even by like Minnesota standards. Really? How the fuck is this tiny ass. Little Jabroni lake filling up a fucking river that goes across the entire country.

[Mary Kish]

It's gathering as it goes, man.

[Dan Rert]

So it's not all starting there.

[Michael Mahari]

That's why. Tributaries, Tributaries, streams.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Michael Mahari]

Like the headwaters is not all the water that just pours through like you're pouring it from a bottle. There's tributaries from other sources and springs and other connecting rivers and lakes.

[Mary Kish]

I like the word tributary. I'm into that.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Rivets, right?

[Michael Mahari]

What's a rivet?

[Dan Rert]

Wait, a rivet is a thing of inlets.

[Mary Kish]

Maybe you're thinking of the word river.

[Michael Mahari]

An inlet river.

[Dan Rert]

Yes.

[Michael Mahari]

Tiny bay, like tiny lagoon and inlet.

[Mary Kish]

I believe a rivet is, you know.

[Dan Rert]

It'S like for drilling.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Rivet City in Fallout three, right?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Held together by metal.

[Mary Kish]

There's like an always sunny thing where he like, points at a door and he's like, listen, we gotta watch out for that. Pirates.

[Michael Mahari]

I see a door. Pirate. Private.

[Mary Kish]

Is it. Is it the door that says Private? Is that the door you're thinking of?

[Michael Mahari]

And then he tries to get in with his own apartment key. He's like, I figured there was a shot. It's like a 1 in 100 million.

[Dan Rert]

A lot of things are just really interesting once you learn how they happen. Yeah, man.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. But look at. While you're doing it, can you look up, like, what constitutes a sea?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, I believe they're all what constitutes a sea. Okay, well, Google AI that pops up first is a large body of salt water, typically smaller and shallower than an ocean. Partially enclosed by land and usually located with where the ocean meets land. While connected to the global ocean, they are often on the margins of continents. Though some, like the Sargasso Sea, are defined by ocean currents. Partial enclosure. Enclosure. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Okay, brilliant.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

What's your favorite sea?

[Dan Rert]

I don't. I haven't.

[Michael Mahari]

Also, there are way more than seven. The pirate things were.

[Dan Rert]

No, pirates were dumbasses.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, well, who's the. I travel the world and the seven seas. Well, you got, like, 300 to go, ma'.

[Dan Rert]

Am. Sweet dreams.

[Michael Mahari]

Write another song when you get there.

[Dan Rert]

Annie Lennox. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Annie.

[Dan Rert]

I don't know I've ever seen a scene. It's. I never seen. I didn't see an ocean until I was, like, working at Game Informer.

[Michael Mahari]

You must have seen us.

[Mary Kish]

I agree. Growing up, you've seen the Gulf? Mostly in Ohio. I feel like I just didn't get to see a lot of ocean. It wasn't something I saw.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Kansas? Certainly not. We don't want to go on family vacations or anything ever. So, like, I never saw.

[Michael Mahari]

I guess New Orleans is sort of connected to the Gulf through the swamps, right?

[Dan Rert]

New Orleans. I've definitely seen the Gulf. Yeah. Yeah, that is connected.

[Michael Mahari]

But see, I'm trying to think if I've seen a. I've seen the Sea of Japan. Actually, no, I would have seen. I would have been on the harbor.

[Dan Rert]

Tokyo Harbor. Right.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. Which is. Technically. Those are usually fresh water. Like, New York harbor is still fresh water until a certain point, because the pressure from the east and the Hudson are pushing down against the saltwater.

[Dan Rert]

All right, New Orleans is technically Lake Pontchartrain. That it borders, which is. Mike, you'll know from 007. Everything or nothing. The motorcycle level, that's the big bridge across.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, yeah, I know that.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. But that does connect to the Gulf.

[Michael Mahari]

Well, on that note, do you want to talk about Video games?

[Dan Rert]

Sure.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, God, you fucking. So gross.

[Dan Rert]

That's the end point.

[Mary Kish]

I can't.

[Michael Mahari]

Okay in on Mary's burp. Speaking of, we've all been playing eugenics.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, boy.

[Michael Mahari]

Finally, Dan's played the most. Mary played quite a bit as well. I played the least. But how do you know that? Because you were talking. You sent us. You had a screenshot on Instagram last night. I could just tell you were farther.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, from my screen. I've been trying to take screenshots when the game makes me laugh out loud. It's happened. It's happened a lot.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. The dumb cat thing. The dumber the cat is, the farther he goes. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It's called 1D chess. How funny is that? Like, there's a lot of funny connections in this game where you can tell that they had fun making this. They wanted you to laugh. I have wigs with lice in them, and the lice comes out of the wigs and attack.

[Dan Rert]

But before.

[Michael Mahari]

I feel like we should lay a foundation, because this sounds like we should lay the foundation of what it is. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

It's on its surface. If you removed everything from the visuals and aesthetics and everything. It's just the most Mike Mahardi ass game ever as far as, like, it is tiles and tactics.

[Mary Kish]

Filthy. It's disgusting. It's absurd. I can't look away. It's Mike Mahardi.

[Dan Rert]

I was thinking just the tactical stuff, but then there's all the gross stuff on top.

[Michael Mahari]

I.

[Dan Rert]

That was the thing I had to get past is like, I did not love the. I don't love the humor. I don't love the tone. I don't love the art style necessarily. You know, it's like all this stuff that, like. Like, for instance, Binding of Isaac. Like, you know, I played that a couple times when it first came out, and I was like, ah. I just don't really like the whole vibe of this game, you know, and this felt the same way. And then I started playing it, and then I was like, oh, fuck, I'm obsessed with this game. And, like, it absolutely allowed me to see past and, like, almost. I almost. It's like, I don't know if it's like a Stockholm center thing, but, like, I. I find myself like, no, no, I'm fine with everything now. Like, it's not like I'm, like, cracking up every time I see a cat anus or, like, you know, it's. I don't.

[Mary Kish]

But you didn't love it either, did you, like, bother me?

[Dan Rert]

It's inherently a gross Game like there's a boss fight against like two basically like anuses on four legs that like.

[Michael Mahari]

Every time you really, really, really. We should mention this is a turn based tactical game for those who don't know, because not everybody knows. From Ed McMillan and the team that made Super Meat Boy and you mentioned Binding of Isaac. They've been working on this for like.

[Dan Rert]

12 years longer than that.

[Michael Mahari]

I think it was like 2012 or something they started first talking about, but they like scrapped a few things. So now it's as Dan pinged us in our discord a couple weeks ago. A few weeks ago at this point we were just talking about wanting to talk about it. You know, it's like turn based tactics on tiles with cat breeding in between as well.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, like the like equivalent of going back to the hub in Hades is like you go back to this house where you are like, like the metagame is building out the rooms of the house, buying furniture for the house that can affect different stats of like the quality of the stray cats that show up, you know, the frequency of the breeding, the quality of the newborn kittens and stuff like that. So like you're buying fish tanks and couches and beds and clocks and stuff to fill this out. And as you go later in the game, like, I wonder if you guys have gotten this far because like this is. I'm 50 hours in, it says I'm like 20 of the way into the game.

[Mary Kish]

I can't believe that.

[Dan Rert]

And I'm just now getting to stuff like upgrades where it's like, like, okay, now you can see the entire family trees of every cat. Meaning and with an icon even that says if they're inbred or not. So then you can start doing stuff. Like, you can start literally just throw the inbred ones in the trash and donate them to these like vendors. Or you can like take like. Yeah, it's like specifically here's these two cats that are not inbred and this one has this passability, this one has this stat or whatever. And you can incur. You can put them in like the fuck room. The one that like you got out, you put all the furniture in that like increases the like fucking. And like, so you can get way more deliberate with how you're kind of breeding the cats. Like I'm gonna make the ultimate ranger here or cleric or something like that. There's different classes based on collars you put on them and stuff. But like it seems like I still feel like it's opening up for me 50 hours in, you know, that's crazy.

[Michael Mahari]

Mary, you pointed out, I think, like, some reviewers were saying they played 120 for the review or something like that.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, just crazy.

[Michael Mahari]

I'm only, like, long 15 in.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I think I'm about 25 now. I. I have enjoyed it. I feel the same way as you, Dan. I had to get over the visuals. I don't care for the, like, sex and birth in two seconds animation.

[Dan Rert]

Have you changed those? Have you seen that? No, I haven't changed them to, like, family friendly. So they're both just, like, upside down and, like, rubbing their backs against each other. Like, it's kind of funny.

[Mary Kish]

I want to see it as it's intended. I want to see the vision just because I don't love it. That's what they made. And I think it's also. It was hard for me to get over how disposable the cats are. So something that I learned quite early on in this game is that once you complete a round, even if you're successful, the cats are retired and never go out again. And so you need to keep them in the house and have them do it or dispose of them, as you said. But they don't go out on a second adventure.

[Dan Rert]

Well, that's another thing. There is another thing that, like, I don't know how much this stuff falls into spoiler. Like, this is, like, gameplay stuff, but obviously stuff that, like, unfolds later.

[Michael Mahari]

So, yeah, this stuff I don't like to hear.

[Dan Rert]

Like, I'll just say, in general, it's not as simple as once they go on a thing.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah, it is for 25 hours, which I would say is a long time time to play a game before you say, actually, you don't know this game. And if I could just be a hater for two seconds. I don't really care for any game that takes 50 hours to open up. I don't think that that, like, is super fair for my time. And it's quite repetitive as well. For a game where you're like, you're gonna do the sewers. No, you do the.

[Dan Rert]

The alley.

[Mary Kish]

Alley, then the sewers, then the caves. And so when they come back from this journey, I have to get a new round of cats and go back to the alley and start that process over again. And I had to do that a lot because if you die, you have to do it all over again. Yeah, I mean, I think generally my thought is, I don't think this game is for me, but I don't hate this game. I Have enjoyed it. It has made me laugh. It has made me. I have enjoyed it. I've also found myself playing it and then been like, whoa, that was five hours. Yeah, I just five hours into this.

[Dan Rert]

Game, played it on the planes to and from, like, it flew by. It's like, this is actually an incredible like treadmill game too because it's like, it doesn't require any fast reflexes or anything like that. So that's been amazing.

[Mary Kish]

Turn based.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

I do want to argue something you said, Mary, because like, I feel the exact same way about like, I hate the like, oh, you just gotta play it for this Assassin's Creed for 20 hours and then it gets good. Like, I've always hated that shit. I. It's like I want to enjoy a game. You know, if I'm gonna put hours and hours into something, I better be enjoying some part of it. So like, even though I do say there are elements that open up in things 20, 30, 40 hours in, I did enjoy this game from the beginning. So it's like, I don't want people to think like, oh, you gotta play it 20 hours before it gets good. No, it's good right away. And what I'm saying is there are these huge kind of signpost moments where it's like, oh, I didn't realize. It's just the unfolding of the unpeeling of the onion, you know, it's like it's just additive, I think. I think it is fun from the beginning and it just keeps giving you more and more. And I think that just like adds to the longevity of the game more than it's like you got to play a bunch before it's good.

[Mary Kish]

I will acknowledge I. I did enjoy the hours that I've spent with this game. I haven't been. It hasn't been a 20 miserable hour. I just think that generally I am looking for a little bit more impact with my 20 hours. I would have liked to accomplish more, I would have liked to seen more. I would have liked to build my house after 20 hours. That being said, I have enjoyed the battles that I have come across. I have enjoyed building up my cats and giving them crazy outfits, outrageous items that are also again, funny, cheeky, silly, stupid as hell and change the gameplay dramatically. Every round has been very different. Every battle has been different because my cats are so unique. So it mixes it up a lot. So I don't dislike this game. I just have like a couple qualms with it because I'm already not a huge turn based game. Person. So this is something where I had to do a lot of adjusting for it.

[Dan Rert]

Sure.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Good.

[Michael Mahari]

No, I was gonna say, yeah, like 15 minutes in, I'm very much in that holding pattern, no pun intended, before I am gonna be on a bunch of flights that I'm kind of like, okay, I could see this being great on my flights. I'm gonna wait until I'm traveling and then I want to really dive in. I think my last save time I saw was like 12, 13 hours, something like that. So I really have not played much of this game in the grand scheme of things. I will say it's reminding me more of like Cult of the Lamb. The cadence of that game where you come back and you do a lot of management stuff and not breeding, really. That's more about like religious stuff when you come back to base and then going out on those dungeon runs. The dungeon runs. And obviously we all know I love turn based stuff. I'm not expecting this game to be like full on into the Breach or xcom. I will say so far the turn based stuff has not been like all that complex yet. But from what Dan, you've told me, like, certain stuff. I think I want to get to the point where I feel like most of the complexities are going to come from the interplay between the breeding and the combat. Because right now the combat itself is very boring to me. That doesn't mean I won't like that. One of my favorite games of the last 10 years is Wildermyth. And the combat in Wildermyth is not that. It's nothing to write home about if you're a turn based tactics fan. However, seeing these characters who like these cats come back and they can't go out, they retire, but they pass on traits to the next generation. It's like, I'm pretty positive. I'll love that once I start seeing it more. And also I've gotten past like the. When you dispose of the cats in the Mario pipe just to send them down to all the people living underground who want cats. I keep telling myself it's like, it's just like the Dump it to Crumpet slide that goes up Mount Crumpet in the Grinch, the cats are not dying, they're going up.

[Dan Rert]

There's the one that's just collecting their.

[Michael Mahari]

Corpses, you know, and then also like the ones that get in.

[Mary Kish]

He's a real gem.

[Michael Mahari]

And when they get in fights and just one died overnight, like, God damn it.

[Dan Rert]

Dumping these cat corpses into a thing. Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

I wish it Was like frogs or something. I think I would have passed it earlier on.

[Dan Rert]

They're so, like, weird, gross animation. They don't look real at all, you know?

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. It's literally just the fact that I know they're cats. Yeah. They look like butts or like, furry. They look like bushes with like. Like pelvic bushes with cat legs coming out of them.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. It's strange. You can disassociate pretty easily that I have started. They're meant to be like dis. Disposable little trowels. But yeah, it is. It's a gross game in general. You fight poop a lot. Like you were saying. They have enemies that are. That have anuses for faces that are like squirting discharge when you hit them. It's gross. And so, like, there's been a couple of times where I've had to be like, oh, like, I don't know, like about that. You know, you constantly. In your path because you have pathways where you fight. Maybe you come across an object or an item, and so you accrue something. And sometimes it's a choice choice. And I've had choice ones where it's like, there's a gross pile of bones. Do you fight it? Do you eat it? Or do you walk away? And I had like a high constitution, so I ate it. And it was good. But I was eating bones of another cat. It was like, you know, it's just kind of yuck. I had one of those. Dan. It was a hole, and it just said this hole was meant for you. This hole is perfectly shaped like you do. You enter the hole, which is like a comic reference, and I.

[Michael Mahari]

Is that the manga?

[Mary Kish]

It is the manga.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. What's. What was the. I should know this. The writer's famous. The manga artist. But like.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

People wake up one day and there's just holes in walls and stuff shaped perfectly, like each of them.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. So it's like one of those little. Junji Ito. I don't know why I couldn't remember.

[Dan Rert]

He.

[Mary Kish]

They make references to all these, like, pop culture things. Anyway, I went into the hole and I died. It just killed me. It took my cat away and I never got it back.

[Michael Mahari]

And then.

[Mary Kish]

And then, like, I want to say, three areas later, I found an alley cat and it joined my squad.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. With like, low stats. Then you kind of build it out.

[Mary Kish]

It was a real piece of cat and I. I like, had my cats do it. And I got a cat this big. I got a. Like a. A dwarf cat. It was like a tiny little thimble of a cat, and its stats were one across the board. And then it had 17 luck, and it was just this complete worthless little worm of a cat. But I kept getting good luck throughout my run. It's just like. It's so random. I think is what I'm saying is, is like I was amazed with the variance, the variance of items, the variance of types of cats, the variance of, like, what you can do with their classes and their cadence and their. And the world that you got. I never had even a similar run, not once, so.

[Dan Rert]

And that's the thing that I think excites me the most about this game, is because there are so many, you know, passive and active abilities and things like that that you don't know what you're gonna get. And twice now, because I, Bonka probably put as much time. So let's say together we've put over 100 hours into it. Me and Bonk and I got one completely broken build and she got one and both in a fun way. Like, I don't. I say broken parentheses positive here.

[Michael Mahari]

What do you mean broke, Balatro Broken?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Oh, I see.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Okay, so with Bonks, it was. She had a passive called Singularity, which makes it so everything is one. And so it's like you have one hp, you have one mana. Any damage you receive is one. Like, all these things are one. But then she also got an item that she equipped that made it so anytime you take one damage, it counts as zero damage. So you're always the one thing made it. So all damage is one. The other one made it to all. One damage is zero. She had an immortal cat, like could not. Could not get hurt. So that's incredible.

[Michael Mahari]

Funny, that's like philosophical thought experiment.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. And mine was just. Oh, my God. It was just the most dominant build here, where it's like I had a cleric that had this thing called Hallowed Ground, where it would throw a blessing pickup, where that's a little like blue crucifix thing. And so normally you go over this thing and it gives you one shield that will basically absorb any amount of damage. So one hit, even if it's 60 damage, it's just going to be poop. That was just a shield. But then I had a passive that made anything that I pick up is shared among my entire team. So now suddenly I throw the shield, I pick it up, and my whole team has it. Now, the bonus was I had a ranger that had a passive that made all of my trap effects and everything. Double. And one of my traps was a spider egg trap that would normally spawn four spiders when an enemy died.

[Mary Kish]

Pretty decent.

[Dan Rert]

But with the double, anytime I killed any enemy, I would get eight spiders. And here's the real kicker, the Cleric's ability, it shares all pickups with the whole team that counted all these fucking spiders and maggots and everything. So I would literally have, like, like 22 things on my team, and every time I pick up, like, this invincible crucifix thing, they all get it. So every single match, every boss is just like. It's just filled with all these fucking spiders that are basically invincible. And I was just annihilating everything. It just felt so broken. But, like, if that was every round, that would suck. That would feel broken in a bad way. But when you just, like, it clicks together and you realize what you've got, it's a moment, oh, this is going to be the best run ever.

[Mary Kish]

And once you finish the rounds and it's like, okay, well, then, you know, you got to come up with something new, at least for me right now. I had a really strong hand. I just had. I had a really good healer and a really good damage dealer, and they were unstoppable. And so I went through the whole area, all the way through, like, the caves and everything, and I was like, I'm a genius. But then when they get home, it's like, all right, well, now I have to find a new build. And so I. I'm just constantly pulling. I'm pushing myself as a gamer to find the best way to combine items and cat builds, as opposed to just being like, well, I know what system works for me. It's. It makes me get out of my comfort zone and be like, I guess I need to try the Thief in this one.

[Dan Rert]

I. I don't like the Thief at all. Have you gotten any classes past that?

[Mary Kish]

I don't think. I don't think I've unlocked any more classes. I think it's the original ones, right? It's like.

[Dan Rert]

I think there's Tank, Tank, Mage, Ranger, Cleric, Fighter, and then is Thief an original one?

[Mary Kish]

Thief? Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

I don't know. Either I unlocked it, or I think.

[Dan Rert]

You unlock Thief early on, but. Yeah, and then there's.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, but I think there's 12 classes. But it's. It's the amount of items and upgrades that make things, like, so variable, ultimately that I think is, like, such a game changer. I've had really interesting items that I think are. Are funny and unique. I got One that was poison. And it poisons everything on the map, no matter what, you know, friend or foe, ally and villain. And so if there's a shit ton of stuff on the map, I just use the, I just use it, I just equip it and then I try and heal myself and make sure that I don't have poison. But then it's poisoning everybody else, the entire map. And I think that's kind of cheeky to be able to, to do that. But you can't save scum because the game yells at you.

[Dan Rert]

It catches Mr. Resetti. They even like reference Mr. Resetti specifically. Yeah, I, I kind of love that everything feels like it's got consequences and stuff. Like I've had things where it's like I have a dream like cat build. And then like it goes into one of those things where it's like, here's a gross hole. Do you want to it? And you're like, I guess. And then it's like, well now you have a thing where you just attack yourself. 75% of the time you attack. It's like, well, I just ruined my cat. I tried to a hole.

[Mary Kish]

Well, let that be a lesson to you.

[Dan Rert]

I know. Yeah. I, I will say, and I won't say specifics but I will say the thing with like, oh, your cat's done at the end. There is just stuff that unlocks where it's like there are reasons where you would want to have like when you have different rooms and stuff. Like let's say I've got a room that is just like, here's my All Stars. Here's the all Stars that like went on a successful run and I love their passives and stuff. I'm going to. And I'm going to have a use for four of them later.

[Mary Kish]

And all my losers go into the hole.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, they all just die. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Brutal.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

I want to keep playing more of that because yeah, I think it is the like if this then that logic that seems really compelling to toy with with the items and the different cat combinations and I, I understand they're not trying to make it the best turn based tactic game on the. The map itself. That's not what this game is about. So I want to keep playing that. So I'm not digging it for that. I'm just saying like I think I went in expecting it to be like into the breach right away.

[Dan Rert]

Which it's a bit different. I mean that's more like yes, you.

[Mary Kish]

Know, for sure it's into the breach. If they were like, and sucking the whole time. And then like they were fighting dicks that were coming out of butts.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's weird because it's like we do gross out humor and stuff. You're like, we're not, we're not above gross out here.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, we are gross.

[Dan Rert]

But. But there, there's something about this type. Or it just kind of feels like there's not even a joke or cleverness behind anything. It's just like, what if this thing was like a bloody? And it's like, that's. I don't want that.

[Mary Kish]

I don't want to fight a bloody.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, ah, great. All right.

[Mary Kish]

I think it's a bit exhaustive, but.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, it is not my favorite, but like, I guess that is a way to like add variants to a bunch of different things where it's like, oh, these. It's about mutations and birth defects. Like, that's a big part of what happens to these units. So, like, I guess that's one way you could do it. No, this guy's asshole's bloody.

[Michael Mahari]

And I got over Binding of Isaac's aesthetic and humor. And I absolutely loved that game over the years that they had been updating it. So I'm not above moving past it. I'm getting there. But I really do kind of just want to save it for flights now.

[Dan Rert]

Now let me ask you. I'm loving this. And I know it's a different genre, but when Binding of Isaac came out, that's when I learned what a Roguelite was. Because I remember I played it at Game Informer and I was like, I died and I went back to the beginning. I was like, what the fuck is this shit? And I think it was our PC editor, Adam Beesner told me, it's like, oh, it's a roguelite. And I was like, what the fuck is that? He's like, oh, yeah, you die and you restart a run. You have to start over every time. I was like, that sounds fucking stupid. And I just like never tried it again. And then I wound up. Roguelites are like, maybe my favorite genre. Would it be worth going back or has, like the genre moved so far.

[Michael Mahari]

Beyond that to Binding of Isaac?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, they've.

[Mary Kish]

It's still very.

[Michael Mahari]

They've tweaked it so much, it had like 6,000 concurrent players at some point. Like, they've. They had worked on it so much throughout the years. It's gonna be unrecognizable. I didn't like it when I first played it in 2010 or whatever it was 2012, I think since they made this because it was super meat boy. Then that and then this. Right.

[Dan Rert]

There was something in between. There was like the end of the world and End is nigh or something.

[Michael Mahari]

But yeah, no, Binding of Isaac is still. It reminds me of like Enter the Gungeon now. That kind of format of Roguelite dungeon crawler. Yeah. It'd be worth checking out. I still enjoy it.

[Mary Kish]

People say it's kind of like this in the sense that you could easily play 100 hours of it. Like it's been. It's built to pour time into.

[Michael Mahari]

I think the biggest fan I know is like Russ Freshstick and his other. His favorite game is like Spelunky. I think it's more like Spelunky, like with a few more Roguelite permanent upgrades between runs.

[Dan Rert]

Which one has more bloody assholes?

[Michael Mahari]

Mugenics for sure.

[Dan Rert]

Got it. Got it.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, yeah. No, Binding Isaac is all like pregnancy visuals and whatnot.

[Dan Rert]

And again, I put that in kind of that same category of like a lot of it just seems like, isn't it fucked up that we did this Enemy is an abortion with a rifle. And it's like, I don't, you know, look, I don't. That does nothing for me. What's that?

[Michael Mahari]

That happened in Mugenics?

[Dan Rert]

No. I feel like everything I saw Binding of Isaac is like, yeah, this boss is just like stabbing her and then she barf poop at you.

[Michael Mahari]

It was. Yeah, that's like, I don't like this. I don't either.

[Mary Kish]

That's such a gross sound bite.

[Dan Rert]

It's like, I love Ren and Stimpy because it was almost like an innocent grossness to it. And then like all like this just seems so aggressive.

[Mary Kish]

Like the binding of ice, maybe Children's gross stuff. And you're old. Like we. We had our time when the. With the close up Ren and Stimpy things were vile. They were disgusting.

[Dan Rert]

That was like a stinky tooth or something, you know?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. And as kids we were like, ew, I can't believe they're getting this close. Close up of this pimple. And SpongeBob did it too. Like cats.

[Dan Rert]

I find out now kids can't see jaws till they're 20. If you're Jeff Bacalar, he's not letting.

[Michael Mahari]

He's not Lens DC JAWS. He's like 20.

[Dan Rert]

Hockey jock son isn't allowed to watch Jaws because it would be too. The PG movie Jaws that everyone sees when they're Five.

[Michael Mahari]

I wonder if that's just because he doesn't want to be afraid of swimming in lakes and the ocean.

[Dan Rert]

That's to say, like, yeah, if you can't watch Jaws, they're certainly not playing these games.

[Mary Kish]

I saw Porky's Revenge when I was 12.

[Dan Rert]

We're normal, healthy people.

[Michael Mahari]

I saw three when I was seven. That's actually a real thing.

[Dan Rert]

I'm not.

[Michael Mahari]

Well, actual real dvd, it came with. My friend bought something else, and it came with that. What else are you playing? Dan?

[Mary Kish]

Are you okay?

[Dan Rert]

We're all doing great.

[Michael Mahari]

I'm fine. He's taking it day by day.

[Dan Rert]

I'm playing Mario tennis. Or I was. I don't know how much more I'll play it.

[Michael Mahari]

Opposite end of the wholesome versus disgusting.

[Dan Rert]

I don't know. The first part of the story mode is Daisy is on her deathbed. Like, the Mario tennis story mode starts with Daisy laying in bed, and it's like, she's been.

[Michael Mahari]

She's barfing poop as well.

[Dan Rert]

Well, it's like, oh, she's not getting any better. Like, she shows her. It's like. Like, clearly dying. And there's, like, Donkey Kong talking to, like.

[Michael Mahari]

Like, this is my tennis.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. It's weird.

[Michael Mahari]

It's like the.

[Dan Rert]

It's like the opening, like, picture is insane. It's just like, all. It's like, everyone's concerned. And then Princess Daisy's hospital room. And then it's incredible because Wario and Waluigi, like, bust into her hospital room, and the exact quote is one of them. It doesn't say who says, yo, she doesn't look good at all.

[Mary Kish]

And they decide, silent Hill. Yeah, that is up.

[Dan Rert]

They're going to profit off of Princess Daisy dying because they're like, you know what will cure her? There's some caves, and there's a golden fruit in there. And this golden apple is going to cure her. But they actually, like, yeah, we're going to get rich off this gold apple. And Daisy's fucking dead. Who cares? Like, that's the setup. But then they go to the caves and get attacked by monsters, and they get beat up so bad they turn into babies, and then they suck at tennis. So then you got to go to tennis school.

[Michael Mahari]

Interesting. Yeah. And then after you go to tennis, like, many after you go to tennis school, what. Why do you continue to play tennis?

[Dan Rert]

I don't know. It's like, the first couple hours is just going around an academy and, like, toad teachers asking you about slice shots. And then you go on an Airship. And you got to fix the ship with tennis. And it's just a fucking weird story mode. And it sounds way more interesting than it is because it's like most of this is just kind of told through, like, very static, just almost like visual novel type style and in text and everything. And so it's just walking from thing to thing. And then it'll be like, hey, you should do this thing. That'll teach you. Like, we're gonna shoot a bunch of cacti at you, and you got to do a top spin to send them back. And you do that seven times. Then you walk to the next thing and they're like, all right, well, here, hit a star shot on this to seven piranha plants. And then you move on. Like, it's just like a list of you have to do.

[Michael Mahari]

Follow up question.

[Dan Rert]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Michael Mahari]

Is this game bad?

[Dan Rert]

That's the thing. It's not bad. Like, when you're playing tennis, it's fine. It is like, it feels good.

[Michael Mahari]

That's good.

[Dan Rert]

But it's like, it doesn't feel all I want. It doesn't feel noticeably better than, like, Mario Tennis 64 that you can play on switch online.

[Michael Mahari]

I mean, which still felt great last time we played it in December.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, no, it's like when you're just playing tennis, it's like, yay, I like that I'm playing this. There's some stuff I don't love where it's like, I have never once been able to hit the ball out of bounds. And like, that is part of the kind of risk reward thing of tennis games is like, well, I want to hit it it hard and fast, close to the line, but I don't want to knock it out. And this one, it doesn't feel like there's that risk. I mean, you can just crank the analog stick all the way and it's not going to go out of bounds. So it is pretty safe in that way. It does introduce these new fever rackets.

[Mary Kish]

That's the princess is dead.

[Dan Rert]

They don't really go back to that. I don't know if she dies.

[Mary Kish]

What do you mean? You're playing tennis and her corpse is, like, rotting in an attic somewhere.

[Michael Mahari]

It's a red herring. It's a MacGuffin.

[Dan Rert]

It is the thing that gets them to the cave to get them beat up and turn into babies that suck at tennis. What's. What's confusing about this?

[Mary Kish]

It just feels like. It feels like a trope. Like the wife in the fridge, like she has no purpose. Her job is to die so that you play tennis.

[Dan Rert]

But what if the wife almost death made you turn into a baby and then have to learn to be good at tennis? I'm putting the images in our discord. If you would like to take a look at this. So I don't just sound insane. That's. That's Daisy dying right there.

[Michael Mahari]

I think that the people at Nintendo have only just discovered cocaine in the last few years. And hence that just explains their run of games.

[Dan Rert]

Mario Odyssey. T. Rex's mustaches.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, sometimes it's really good, like Mario Odyssey. Other times it's like the end of a coke bender and they make Mario tennis story mode.

[Dan Rert]

Like half cross eyed stuff. And despite getting lots of rest, she showed no signs of improving. Yo. She doesn't look good at all. Thank you.

[Mary Kish]

Waluigi or Wario?

[Dan Rert]

I think Waluigi said yo. I think he's a yo guy.

[Mary Kish]

Who do you think? Who do you think? Koenig. Yeah. Cannon says yo.

[Dan Rert]

I think Waluigi says yo now. Yeah. So it's like everything I just said makes it sound more interesting than it is. It's really not. It's like they do these stats where it's like. And they make it seem like it's an rpg. It's not. It's just like meters moving up after every stupid little training thing. So totally skippable story mode. If you just want to have it on your system to play a fun tennis game with every once in a while, that's fine. But it is $70, so, you know, like, depends on how much you want to play tennis every once in a while.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I just want. I just want the tennis. So I guess I can just play versus mode.

[Dan Rert]

They play versus Mode. And it's got the fever racket. Things that are like ads, like, you know, these super shots that, oh, the banana racket will make it so like bananas fall on the court when it lands. You know, stuff like that.

[Michael Mahari]

Okay, I like that. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Michael Mahari]

I'm into that.

[Dan Rert]

Yep.

[Michael Mahari]

Mary, you've been playing more mio, which you talked about in the last couple episodes.

[Mary Kish]

I think just last episode, I think I started playing Mio and I really liked it. And I was, you know, comparing it to other Metroidvanias that I think are flighty and fun. And I was like, and it's not insanely hard? Well, it got really hard. Got really, really tough. Somewhere in like the fourth to fifth area, the platforming gets pretty brutal. I'm still enjoying it, but I have to Take breaks now because it's defeating to play a boss for like two hours. You need like a break mentally. After you do you. You take on a boss for that long.

[Dan Rert]

We're talking like hollow knight levels, like Silksong type.

[Mary Kish]

I would say that it's not as hard as Silk Song, but it's because it doesn't have the run backs that are so brutal. But it has a boss fight. It has this boss fight with two battling robots and there's a bunch of spikes on the ground and you just have this tiny little stand that you're on to fight these robots that are doing symmetrical moves. Very difficult. And then I think halfway through the fight, the stand disappears. And so you have to hit them to get your jump back. Maintain your loftiness for the second half of the fight.

[Dan Rert]

I mean, like, repeatedly.

[Mary Kish]

I was like, come on. Yes. The stand doesn't come back. You have to repeat the fight by attacking them, using your glide and then getting your jump back by attacking, all while not taking damage. And this game as you progress, and there's a really beautiful, like, story component to it that I think is. Is absolutely lovely. You take permanent damage. So as I'm gaining life at this stage in the game, I have like nine life and I'm really proud of it. I've lost four life permanently, so I actually only have five life. It's not as, like, beneficial as it seems when you. When you keep taking permanent damage and I think sometimes you recoup them. But right now I'm just like at a heavy loss of life. So, yeah, it's just a brutal area that I think I'm in, but still loving it. Still. Still enjoying it. And I wish I. I'm like determined to beat it, but I. I've been getting stuck at a couple of these maniacal boss and platforming spaces that I think test my patience to get through. But I am still. Especially for people who are Metroidvania fans and are like, I'm looking for the next Metroidvania. This is the one I would recommend. There was a beautiful area where I kept going up and I found this hole in glass. And so I was like, oh, I'll go through this glass. And I kept going up and up and up. And it just. It just really rewarded me with this view visual display just to see. Stunning place to put me in. And it just has a little bench, very hollow knight, and you sit in it and you just look. You just look at the view as a player. And I think that that is one of the best rewards that you can give a player outside of obviously like extra health or something like that. But instead of like an item, it is a place for thoughtful introspection with really nice music and a beautiful visual. And I thought to myself like these devs gave a shit about the environment that they're putting you in. They're not just saying like now do another hired boss. They were like, this area is just for you to have thinkums about life and love and why you exist. And I appreciate when games do that.

[Michael Mahari]

Kind of reminds me I need to, I've been meaning to for years to go back and play Ori and the Will of the Wisps.

[Dan Rert]

Good one.

[Michael Mahari]

We talked about it years ago when it came out. I love the Blind Forest and I started Will of the Wisps. But I think for whatever reason once it started to open up I had other stuff going on. But I remember that game like really liking those environments as well.

[Mary Kish]

I. I've been comparing it to Ori. The most of all of the games that I would compare this to, I would say it's very similar to an Ori. It's just meaner than Ori. Ori. I think a casual person can get through Ori. I don't know if a casual gamer could get through Mio. I do think you have to have some prowess for. Yeah, for. For being able to get through some of these boss fights, but very, very thoughtful.

[Dan Rert]

It sounds like the combat's probably where the difficulty comes from, where Ori I remember would have those spikes where it would be the very dramatic chase sequences and stuff and you gotta like hit a bunch of platforming stuff, you know.

[Mary Kish]

Yes, the platforming was tough. I would say. Yeah, this doesn't have any timing platforming but. Oh God, does it have some platforming spaces. That also tested my patience. But the upgrades are so powerful if you use them properly. There's an upgrade that just lets you climb walls like a spider. I mean that is incredibly powerful. You can go everywhere with that, but you can only do it for like three seconds and again then you have to, you have to recognize you have to hit somebody to get your wall climbing back. But you know, as long as you understand those fundamentals, you can get through it. So anyway, hopefully by the next time we talk, I'm trying not to jinx myself. I can be like it done. I really like it. I still like it, but yeah, it's harder now.

[Dan Rert]

Cool.

[Michael Mahari]

Dan, you also playing Cinecross, am I saying that correctly?

[Dan Rert]

I wonder that every time I say it because it's C I N I cross. I don't know if it's cinecross. Cine cross. It is Picross, which I deeply love. Picross. And it's a roguelite, which those two words activated my brain immediately. And I played the Next Fest demo a few months back and it was great. Full game is out now. I like it a lot. It is, it's like the Balatroed Picross, but it's got kind of that like slay the spire type roguelite map where, you know, you see the rooms and it's like, okay, do I want to go to this shop here or this campfire to, you know, get my HP back or do I want to go here and try to get some items on this fight or whatever. And each of the like fights has a, you know, one through four or five or something difficulty level. So that corresponds to like, is this gonna be a 5 by 5 grid? Is this gonna be like a 20 by 20 grid? Things like that. And like it's.

[Michael Mahari]

I sell for $10 right now.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah. And it's, it's fun because, like, I didn't know how I was gonna feel about like, because to me, Picross has always been like, it's such a great game of like, you don't ever need to guess. In Picross, it is a logic puzzle, the type I like where it's like, okay, with just the numbers on the board here, you should be able to tell the blocks that you need to fill in and which ones you need to break or cross out or whatever. Yeah. And so you can really take your time with traditional Picross. This one, it is timed because like, you will have like a time limit, like a blue orb basically that's ticking down and that'll.

[Mary Kish]

Which looks like Diablo 1, by the way.

[Dan Rert]

Yes, yes. And it'll stay persistent. So it's like if you have five minutes at the end of a level, you're gonna have five minutes once you start the next one and you can get upgrades and stuff like that and get items at shops where it's like, I'm gonna get 30 seconds back. But then you can also get passives that are like, oh, all of your time bonuses are plus 5% and stuff like that. So there are artifacts kind of like, like the Jokers and Balatro. The thing is, it's like, I don't feel like there's as much you can do with Picross. So like, the artifacts are not necessarily as exciting as something like Balatro. So it's, it's you'll get buffs for. Like, you're getting more HP gain, you're getting more time bonuses, you're getting things like that. There's stuff where it's like, it'll add gold cells to the picross board and those are timed so if you get to them fast enough, you'll get some gold that you can use in shops and stuff. And I guess I didn't finish what I was saying about the time aspect. That is, what's interesting is that, like, I was worried that, like, well, picrossedomy is kind of a relaxed thing. You take your time and you parse over all the numbers and everything. This one is like, it's picrossed with a time limit and I think it's stressful. It does, but it works. I think, like, like, I liked. I. I like doing fast picross and this is one that kind of really rewards you for it. And I'll find myself going for that level four difficulty, 20 by 20 grid over the easy because, like, any five by five grid you can solve in two seconds. So it's like you'll get more rewards and everything if you can solve it, but it's going to be tough. And then there's like fun challenges and stuff. Like, there's items that'll give you bonuses if you don't use any crosses. So, you know, you can like cross out blocks on picross if you know there's no way that's going to be filled in in. So this one, it's like, oh, it behooves you to just fill in blocks and not mark the X's on the.

[Mary Kish]

Other ones, which is risky. If it's a lot of blocks, yes.

[Dan Rert]

That makes it. The difficulty level is so much higher if you're not marking them. That's a huge part of a crop across. So, like, there are some interesting ones. I would not expect a huge amount of variance and stuff. They're like bosses. The way like, you know, in Balatro you do a boss and it would be like, well, all diamonds are, you know, not worth anything. It will do things now where it's like, like, okay, every few seconds the screen turns red and any cells you try to fill in when it's red, it's going to hurt your hp. Or there's things where it's like, oh, all the numbers on the side of the grid are just rotating. They're just spinning. So it's like, all right, it's kind of hard.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, that's rude. I think that's a two.

[Dan Rert]

Two. That's F4 and one.

[Michael Mahari]

Nines and sixes must suck.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, it's like they're spinning pretty fast and everything. So like there's some fun gimmicks there and everything. But yeah, it's just a fun new twist on picross. It's which I'm never gonna say no to any. Here's the thing. There's. There's so much actual picross out there. Like the. The Cross S series on switch. There's like fucking nine or ten of those or more. So I'm fine on just normal picross. I could use a few more 3D picrosses. But I think this is a cool twist on picross that I'm very, very much enjoying.

[Michael Mahari]

Cool.

[Mary Kish]

I love the visual style of it. I mean I just love it.

[Dan Rert]

It's very loopy.

[Mary Kish]

Looking at screenshots.

[Michael Mahari]

That's what I was trying to remember. Yes.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

2020 I think.

[Mary Kish]

Classic, you know, you know, low bit rate game play. But it looks good. Like it doesn't look bad. It looks great. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

It's for cross. How many things can you do with it? Like they made the cross look visually interesting.

[Mary Kish]

They did. I love. There's like. I don't know what area this is but there's like a spinning wheel. So it looks kind of gambly and there's like a ball with a bunch of orbs in it. I think it's your gold. Like that looks fun because it's tactile. It's not. You have 40 gold. It's like a ball filled with balls.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. That's at the end of every puzzle. You get all that stuff. There is that slot machine. So like the higher difficulties, there's more reels on the slot machine to get the artifacts. There is that spinny wheel at the bottom that. That if it lands on like a two times thing, you'll get two items that you can pile like consumables and stuff. So it's like. Like you'll get a consumable that's like. Oh. Whenever you pop it, it's going to randomly fill in 20 cells on the puzzle you're on right now or you pop.

[Mary Kish]

This one Seems like a really fun Steam deck game.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's. It is the thing where it's like obviously with a mouse you can move around a big grid much faster but you know, you can play it like most of my time was on the plane and playing with the Steam deck so that it does work. And you can use the trackpad.

[Mary Kish]

If you want, you can use the trackpad, which is, you know, using the mouse with your.

[Dan Rert]

I was just using the stick. It's fine. I might try a trackpad thing. I actually made a custom track from Eugenics and that did make it a little nicer, so.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, interesting.

[Dan Rert]

So it was easier to do that. I've not fiddled with that stuff much, but yeah, I made it. So just the right trackpad is the mouse cursor and then the back left top button is like the left click. So you can just kind of move around that way a little quicker.

[Mary Kish]

This is neat. I'm tempted to buy this. I'm also tempted to gift this to my dad because he really, really likes Balatro. He plays it every day. I know he does because I get a ping when I'm working when people in my close friends list or open up a game. And he plays this every day. I think he tells me he like gets a coffee, opens up his stocks and then plays Balatro for two hours or like until he loses.

[Dan Rert]

I love that.

[Mary Kish]

And then. And that's like a part of his existence. I don't think this is probably going to become a part of his day to day, but I think Picross is like something we can all spend an afternoon doing and enjoying.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. And it does seem like there's a good amount of longevity to it because there are different classes where it's like, oh, the Archer has this thing where it's like the Archer, when you fill in one row, it'll automatically fill in all the X's on the up and down, left and right. And then there's the Archer that does certain things where it's. I forget what the details are on that, but they all have their own level up dial and you'll get persistent upgrades and stuff as you level up each of the classes. So. So, I mean, I'm always having a good time, fun playing Picross. So you give me any kind of these like long tail type things on it and like I'm gonna play the shit out of this game.

[Mary Kish]

I think for less than $10 too. This is the type of game you probably could pour a shit ton of hours in.

[Dan Rert]

Absolutely.

[Michael Mahari]

It's got a demo too on Steam. Check in the boxes. Free demo, $10 red. That sounds fun. Do you guys want to talk about emails?

[Dan Rert]

Go. Or.

[Michael Mahari]

All right. As usual, you can write into firescapecastmail.com to get your questions read on the air. Got a bunch coming in. Thank you so much. Fill those coffers for 2026 but keep them coming. Can never have too many in the old inbox. We've got good ones here today from Jesse Mary. Do you want to read this first one?

[Mary Kish]

Sure. Okay. Jessie. Sorry. I got it. Hello, escapees. I've started incorporating mics. You could be anywhere in the world right now. But you decided to be here. Sign off at the end of my weekly work meetings. What's Gucci, Stanley? Tucci has not caught on yet. Yeah. That nobody has caught on to. What's Gucci, Stanley?

[Dan Rert]

Including us.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, yeah. We're trying to end it. My question for all of you is, after you've done recording this episode, if you could be anywhere else, literally anywhere, whether it's inside your favorite game world, a book, a movie, a time period, or Dan's bathtub full of Mac and cheese, where would it be and why? Thank you for years of great laughs, interesting conversation, and hot takes. Here's to more. Jesse from Vegas. Please come visit.

[Michael Mahari]

For the record, I got that line. The you could be anywhere in the world from. I think it was Lin Manuel Miranda, but there's, like, older recordings. Some songs use it. Like Avalanches has a song that uses it.

[Dan Rert]

It.

[Michael Mahari]

So it's not my line. I have specific spots, for sure.

[Dan Rert]

I mean, taken in a very literal sense, saying, like, right after recording this episode, I mean, the answer for me is usually going to bed. Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, for sure.

[Dan Rert]

That's.

[Michael Mahari]

That's what I do. And I'm an hour ahead of you.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

But we're, like, warping somewhere, anywhere in the world. I still think the most beautiful place I've ever been in the world is Hanalei Bay on Kauai, Hawaii. That was pretty, like, otherworldly. I wouldn't mind warping there right now.

[Dan Rert]

I'd like to be in the world of twisted metal, too. I've thought this a lot. I think that just seems like the most fun place to be.

[Michael Mahari]

That seems. Aren't they, like, murderers driving around, blowing each other up in cars?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, but it just seems exciting.

[Mary Kish]

Maxi over there.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Mad Max had more of a game show element to it. And some stakes. You got stakes. You know, I'd want to have a cool car in it. And it just seems like they get to travel around the real world and do fun things to it and just a bunch of wacky, fun characters. I'd like to be one of them.

[Mary Kish]

I think you would be a wacky character, but I don't think you would be, like, living a wacky life. I think you'd be selling bottle cap down by the river for, like, scraps of human hair.

[Dan Rert]

But I would want a car that shot missiles.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, but you wouldn't have it yet because you're selling bottle caps down by the river for humans.

[Dan Rert]

Then this isn't the answer then. The answer to this question is not that I don't want to be a bottle cap, river guy. I want to be a guy strapped to two wheels, screaming and shooting missiles.

[Michael Mahari]

Shot at you as well.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, but, I mean, everyone's in the same playing field in that world, right? Everyone's dealing with that.

[Michael Mahari]

I just want to go somewhere where there's not, like, violence being enacted upon me.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. I wouldn't want it to be, like, real. I'd want to be like. Well, I guess the Running Man. It was real violence.

[Michael Mahari]

What's, like, the most picturesque, relaxing, like, charming place from a video game.

[Dan Rert]

You'd want to be netherrealm.

[Michael Mahari]

Like, for Mortal Kombat.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I feel like there's violence there, Dan. Right.

[Dan Rert]

But there's also, like, Cyrax got stuck in the sand on the beach.

[Michael Mahari]

I want to go to the forest world in Super Mario Odyssey, where it's just, like, the beach funk. Playing two.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, yeah. The Steam. Steam Gardens. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. The surf rock.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, surf rock.

[Dan Rert]

Less violent.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, like buttholes.

[Mary Kish]

Pretty violent, I think. I mean, I wouldn't want to be there forever, but when I think of, like, peaceful and serene video games, I think of, obviously, Stardew. That'd be so fun. We talked about that last episode. How lovely that would be, that I would actually want to do that. I think I would really genuinely enjoy by being a little Stardew farmer, slime rancher. The one with the sandwiches where you collect the little. It's like Pokemon, but they're pieces of sandwich and food.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, the PlayStation game. No, no. It was, like, late 2020. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Burger time.

[Mary Kish]

Have sandwiches.

[Michael Mahari]

I know, exactly. It was. It was cooked. Delicious. Huge. For a while. It was, like, overcooked.

[Mary Kish]

No, no.

[Michael Mahari]

Early PlayStation 5. Like, it's like a family.

[Mary Kish]

Animals, bug snacks, bugs. Yes.

[Michael Mahari]

We got.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I forgot what that game was called.

[Dan Rert]

Long Walk.

[Michael Mahari]

I. I would also love if. I know this is a very different question. Like, if. If I could warp somewhere and live there with Amanda for the rest of my life. I'd want the house from Call Me by youy Name. Never Leave it. Ever. That's. That's my. That's not a video.

[Mary Kish]

I wonder, too. That's a good idea as well. I would want to be in one of the mansions from Hitman and just.

[Dan Rert]

Be like, yeah, I would listen to Paris one.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Obviously the hitman wouldn't be there for me.

[Michael Mahari]

Even that house in Hawks Bay in New Zealand is pretty awesome too.

[Dan Rert]

What about the bedroom and train spotting with the dead baby crawling on the ceiling?

[Michael Mahari]

Knew you're gonna go weird with yours. I want to be in the. I want to be in the room where Jennifer Connelly has a two sided dildo.

[Dan Rert]

I think you're making it sound more fun than that scene was.

[Michael Mahari]

Yep.

[Dan Rert]

You're leaving out some details.

[Michael Mahari]

No, I'm gonna be on the other end of it. No, it would be. Yeah, it would be the house from Call Me by youy Name. I also really like what other. What's my favorite house from a video game or a movie? Like, what would be my favorite home.

[Dan Rert]

From one of those Sapienza one from. There's a lot in Hitman. They're all these like huge ornate things.

[Michael Mahari]

The house behind the winery in Mendoza would be good.

[Mary Kish]

Want to live in the Burj Khalifa? You know, I have a. I'm a. I'm a girl with a small dream.

[Michael Mahari]

Small and tall, if you know what I mean.

[Mary Kish]

Tallest in the world, as they say. Burj Khalifa, tallest building in the world.

[Michael Mahari]

It's like, what if it was like Pluribus and you could have Air Force One come pick you up right now and you could go anywhere. That's basically what we talked about.

[Mary Kish]

This being the. Yeah, but this is better because supposedly in this world it's not miserable. You would just be everybody's environment.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, everybody.

[Dan Rert]

But you could also get so many things from like I could fly to New York and get a great slice of pizza. Or I can just have Everyone knows how to make it here in Minnesota, you know?

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

If it was therapist, you know.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

If you were Pluribist, these things wouldn't be as fun. But I will say if I was Pluribist, being in Bugsnax would still be pretty delightful.

[Dan Rert]

I would like being in Bub. Bug snacks.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I think that'd be like a bad acid trip being in bug snacks.

[Dan Rert]

I don't know.

[Michael Mahari]

Human in the situation or are you also a Bugsnack?

[Dan Rert]

I think you're a human. I mean it gets pretty weird by the end, but for 95% of Bugsnax, it'd be a good time.

[Michael Mahari]

Here's a question I don't think we've ever asked. What would. If you were a bug snack, describe your form.

[Dan Rert]

Cool Ranch.

[Mary Kish]

You'd be that's not.

[Michael Mahari]

You're just a Puddle of Cool Ranch.

[Mary Kish]

Not even a Dorito.

[Dan Rert]

No, that's a Dorito Ranch. That. That. Cool Ranch is synonymous with a Dorito triangle.

[Mary Kish]

You're just Cool Ranch, like a river.

[Michael Mahari]

I really. I'm so tired. That really didn't even register that that's what you were saying.

[Dan Rert]

Not on the periodic table. No, it's comes in the form of a crispy triangle.

[Michael Mahari]

I would be. What would I be? Bug snack.

[Mary Kish]

It would just be like, what's your favorite snack?

[Michael Mahari]

What is my favorite snack?

[Dan Rert]

You like pretzels.

[Michael Mahari]

I like pretzels. That's what you always say, like, what should we have around the house when you guys visit? I say pretzels. That's like my basic.

[Mary Kish]

Wait, I know what you would be, Mike. You'd be a fucking banana. Because you eat bananas every day for breakfast, and they're also hard and alert, and I just think that that's you.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, I've got it. It would be a banana from up here and then where, like, the bottom point is, it'd be like the tip of a wine bottle as a dick.

[Mary Kish]

Okay. It would be a banana, but it's peeled upside down, so your eyes are up here, and then the peel is below, and you're just, like, you know, flapping your dong around.

[Michael Mahari]

I'd be a banana peel. A banana that's, like, on unpeeled, and there's actually, instead of banana inside, it's a bottle of wine that's just spewing its stuff all over.

[Dan Rert]

No, it's just a dick.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, that's like one of the drawings from Superbad in his notebook.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, it's one of the mutations in Mugenics. Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

All right. Thank you, Jesse.

[Mary Kish]

That's such a good one.

[Michael Mahari]

Vegas. We will try to visit soon. I've never been to Vegas. Dan, you want to read this one from Nate?

[Dan Rert]

Sure. Hey, fire escapees. This winter, I took up skiing in a big way. I always hated the idea of skiing. Would get invitations to go, but say I didn't want to, mostly because of money, the cold, didn't think I'd enjoy it, etc. But now I love it. Dan's distaste for Dungeons and Dragons made me think, what are some examples of times you were resistant to try something only to find out you love it? P.S. mike, you recommended Invisible Cities to me previously, and it's one of my favorite novels of all time now. Thank you. That is Nathan from NH New Hampshire. Things that we thought we would hate. And then we wound up liking. I mean, there was definitely like a lot of things that just like I had weird aversions to. I mean, almost always because of my dad, where it's like coffee, wine, like, things like, like for instance, nice dinners. That's a thing. Where it's like my dad was always so, so cheap. And like, he wouldn't even go to a fast food place if he doesn't have a coupon. That's still the case. So like the idea of like going to a nice dinner or something like that is so, like, would be so mocked my entire life. And it's like once I just got like older and married and stuff and it's like, yeah, we should go try all these nice places. Like, like this time living in Minneapolis versus the first time I lived there is completely different because I was just way more like my dad the first time. And I only ate cheap ass garbage. And I still love cheap ass garbage. But now we go to like nice restaurants and stuff.

[Michael Mahari]

Stuff.

[Dan Rert]

And it's like, oh, I really like this. And it feels like you're really treating yourself and everything. And that's the thing I never felt comfortable doing before. I was trained to not like it.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I think my big one would just be the beach. I. I have all. Like, most of my life I've hated the beach. And I just, I didn't like it. It takes, it's such an effort. And I'm like, I'm not talking like a little private thing you can walk onto when you get an Airbnb with like lake access or something. That's always great, great. I'm talking like, pack up the car, drive to the beach and then like go down the beach, find the spot you like, and then you're kind of surrounded by people marrying Amanda has changed my mind. And I get the appeal now. And also, like, I mean, look at me. I'm not the best in sun for prolonged periods of time, but I've started to embrace like the Zen of it when you do it to go, just relax and I'll like dip into the water every once in a while, come back out, lay in the sun, and then I'll just read like an entire book all day. I used to hate the beach. It was like my least favorite outdoor activity. Not a biome, you know what I mean? But I still wouldn't say I'm a beach guy.

[Dan Rert]

But you see the appeal now.

[Michael Mahari]

I see the appeal and I embrace it every summer for sure.

[Mary Kish]

I think that's nice. We're all. I would consider moderately Stubborn people. So it's good to be able to recognize growth and be like, I can like these, these things. I can enjoy something I didn't like before. I've never been into sports. I've never felt like I could get into it. I don't care. When I say sports, I mean like, watching the game. Right? It's just not something that I do. But I had a double sports week because it was the super bowl, which I watched specifically for Bad Bunny. And I ended up, like, liking watching. I actually didn't think the game was great, but, like, I enjoyed watching it and I enjoyed watching the halftime show. And then the next day, I got tickets to a basketball game local. The Portland Blazers.

[Michael Mahari]

Wait, you went to a Blazer game? Who was that? When they were playing the Spurs?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I got free ticket 76ers.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, the 76ers. That was a good game too.

[Mary Kish]

And I, I, I don't go to basketball games, nor do I watch them. And so I was like, this is going to be silly. Like, I'm gonna go and probably be bored. And you guys, I was all in. I, I mean, I was amazed with how, how talented and entertaining the game was. The food was good too. Dan. Like, I specifically say you, because I think often when you go to these things, you're like, it's gonna be like crappy nacho cheese, dude. It was like, but it was like, delicious. It had like pork roasted pork nachos and stuff like that. And the pretzels with the dippies. And I got Popcor the fixings. I found $5 beers. I was going crazy.

[Dan Rert]

And then NBA game.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Rert]

Wow.

[Mary Kish]

And I, I was, I was having so much fun. Like, I would like in college, when you, like, go to a college game. I, I was like, it was, I was a kid again. Their star player, his name is Tumani. And so like, he just, Wait, wait.

[Michael Mahari]

Who'S for the Blazers?

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. And he just kept scoring.

[Michael Mahari]

And you got Denny Abda too.

[Mary Kish]

And we kept saying, gorgeous.

[Michael Mahari]

That Israeli sensation.

[Mary Kish]

They're all smoking.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

But like, how fun is it that, like, we just kept being like, too many buckets. He's too good. Like, it was so good, like, enjoying these players and like, the little jokes that they would do. They're all in green screens, like, pretending to eat, like, McDonald's sandwiches. Because I think McDonald's was a sponsor. And it's just like, I think I got into the whole thing. The crappy green screen of the players being like, swoosh, you know, yeah, they.

[Michael Mahari]

Do like to get the crowd going during commercial breaks and timeouts. They'll do like, all right, everybody, like, twerk. And then they'll have the players do it on the screen, like, pre record. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Bad, bad. And it's, it's. But it's. It's good, bad, good.

[Michael Mahari]

The players bad parentheses. And they embrace it.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, they're enjoying it, right? And they're probably getting paid like a decent amount out to do it. And I think by the end of the game, yes, I was like five beers deep, but I was like. I was full of nachos and popcorn. I got ice cream at some point. I remember. I just remember every, like, quarter, I was like, a little snack and watch too many, like, fucking fuck these people up. It was so fun. We won. Like, it was a crazy landslide.

[Michael Mahari]

You got to 135 of memory serves. I watched the first half.

[Mary Kish]

It was a good game. And I left. I left, left being like, I was wrong. Basketball's fun. Sports are fun. Going to a sports game is fun. I gotta get more into sports. And so I'm glad that I learned from that experience.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, we're going to Warriors, Knicks in a few weeks in March. I can't wait. I've never been to a.

[Mary Kish]

That's cool.

[Michael Mahari]

An NBA game. I've been to many basketball games, but not NBA. But yeah, there's, like, for all the people that scoff at sports, I absolutely get that many aspects of the culture are very off putting. And I don't argue with that whatsoever. I was just telling Dan, like, like a lot of. I will say mostly guys in, like, certain circles, all they talk about when I'm trying to. Like when I'm trying to watch the NBA is like, what their bets are. And I get it. Sometimes they'll. They'll try to have fun and put like a $10 bet on like, the coin toss, the Super Bowl. I'm like, all right, sure, whatever. But, like, it's taken over sports conversations so much that I really need to silo myself away from that. I'm not trying to be, like, holier than thou. I just. I actually really, really enjoy basketball. I don't want to know what the over under is. I don't want to know. Like, I don't. The bets, the betting odds. I just care more about, like, what are the odds that this unskilled team is going to beat the skill team as the underdog. But, like, the communal aspect of going to certain sports, I will say I don't like going to Football games. I would much rather watch football on tv. And I don't even want really like watching football that much.

[Mary Kish]

It's better because the stadium is so big, you get a better view from the camera angle than you would in the auditorium. Whereas the basketball games game. I had a great view. My view was better than the camera view. I could see the players. I could see everything. I felt like I was. I was fortunate to be in the auditorium for that one. But football's too big.

[Dan Rert]

Well, I feel like with football, the thing is, like, it almost behooves you to be higher up because it's so much about, like, actually seeing the play and the formations and everything. The higher up you are, you can actually kind of see what receivers are open and kind of see where everyone's at versus down below. It's a little hard.

[Michael Mahari]

I know. I've been. I like going to hockey games as well. I've never been to an NHL game, but I've been to hockey games, like college level, and I always had fun there. But yeah, it's like the communal aspect of it, like the live show aspect of it, the unpredictability of the show. It's not like you're going and seeing a set list. You're going see something unpredictable. It's great. But yeah, I would say, like, that's probably mine would be the beach.

[Dan Rert]

I thought of a real obvious one for me, yoga, where if you would have asked me in college, like, oh, what do you think yoga is? I'd be like, oh, that's the hippie, dippy New Agey thing.

[Mary Kish]

I assume that's what college gantan was to say.

[Dan Rert]

No, I just would have, like, really belittled it quite a bit.

[Mary Kish]

And it's like, he's like, he.

[Michael Mahari]

He's changed.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, yeah, that's definitely.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

But I think what I'm saying, like, sorry, that's like, rude and it's a derogatory term. But I mean, I mean that, like, in a college gross boy way.

[Dan Rert]

I would have been anything that, like, regardless. Anything that reads of, like, New Age or whatever, it's like, oh, this is too much of bullshit. Like, I would have probably said the same thing about meditation at a certain point. I remember. Do you remember the show Penn and Teller's bullshit? It was basically just these two. Well, I guess one very loud libertarian guy be like, here's why this thing sucks and it's stupid. It. And that was the whole show, and it had like six seasons or something. And one of the episodes was yoga And I, I liked the show. And it was. Yeah, this is just stretching. They're just stretching. This is stupid. It's not this fancy pants, blah, blah, blah, meditative. And that's like I always dismissed it. And then. Do you remember P90X?

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Yes.

[Dan Rert]

There was a. I remember people who.

[Mary Kish]

Did P90X who wouldn't shut up about.

[Dan Rert]

Right. People got. Tim Turi got me into it when we were a game informer. So it's like, you know, like 2010 or whatever. And I'm just looking.

[Mary Kish]

Tim turi was a P90X. Er, yes.

[Dan Rert]

He loved it.

[Mary Kish]

That's funny.

[Dan Rert]

Here's the thing. Tim I think would be okay with me saying this. Tim is such a kind hearted Minnesotan boy that he pirated P90X initially.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Rert]

And then he thought, you know what? I've gotten such good use out of this. I need to buy it and pay Tony Horton for, you know, all the good he's brought to my life. What a pure man that Tim Turi is. He's like, this man has helped me out. I'm going to pay for this.

[Michael Mahari]

I still do some like, calisthenics from like the Ab Ripper DVD that he did. And I still can hear him in my, in my, my head sometimes saying like, I hate this one, but I love it.

[Dan Rert]

I was like, see the same videos a million times. I remember Tony Horton bending over doing these like arm things. Like, you're just stirring up a big soup. You got a nice bisque. What do you got over there? You got a potato soup. You got like that dumb. Yeah. But like, I, I was doing that and it was like each day would be some different. So like, oh, it's upper body here. It's cardio for Thursdays and Wednesdays was yoga day. And I remember being like, all right, if I'm going to try this thing, I'm going to like actually follow.

[Mary Kish]

Got to be a real cool guy that I respect. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

No, she wasn't like, cool, but it was still like, oh, this is like a workout program. Oh, this just like a workout thing.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. For men, right?

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

And I tried it. I was like. But then I immediately started going to classes and stuff and I was like the only dude in most of these. But it was like, no, this is a great workout. I love it. Like, I never attached it to any kind of like, I think I mistakenly thought. And people still think this about yoga that don't know anything about yoga is that it's like, oh, everyone attaches some like Mystical element to it. And you will get that. Like I've gone to enough actual yoga classes that you'll definitely get those teachers that are just like, like, oh, open the heart chakra or this and this is, you know, they get way more flowery with the stuff. But then it is also just like a fucking workout. Like I do the peloton yoga stuff like all the time.

[Mary Kish]

It's hard on your body to lift your own body weight.

[Michael Mahari]

There's like the, there's like, there's like the dragon where you're doing this for like at the end of the class for an hour or it's like for like 10 minutes straight and your shoulders are just on fire. Yeah.

[Dan Rert]

Oh no. Well, yeah, there's like, you know, power. The vinyasa flow stuff that is, you know, really fast up and a lot of like, you know, planks and basically push ups and things like that.

[Mary Kish]

You've done Pilates, Dave?

[Dan Rert]

I haven't done Pilates. That's on, that is on peloton as well. And I've never tried it. I would be open to it really.

[Mary Kish]

Like to hear what you think of Pilates because Pilates is all like you're going to use all your body weight to do this move and it's very difficult. But yoga esque.

[Dan Rert]

I should try it because like core strength has always been my weak point. And yeah, you do need it for running.

[Mary Kish]

Oh, it'll get you.

[Dan Rert]

So like I do need to do more core. So like, like I should do the peloton stuff and try.

[Mary Kish]

I love, I'd love to see what you think. I, I've, I've, I don't know why, but I think the algorithm once on YouTube was like men doing Pilates and it was all these like really strong.

[Michael Mahari]

Men being like, oh, I wonder why, cuz.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, it's hard. It's hard on your core. It's hard on your. I should try it on your, on your muscles and you have to, you have to deal with your own weight. That's its purpose.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Body weight exercises. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah. Tell me, tell me how it goes.

[Michael Mahari]

I have a friend who does a lot of solid core. Is that similar to Pilates, do you know?

[Mary Kish]

I think so, yeah.

[Dan Rert]

That.

[Michael Mahari]

It's like a newer one, but it's also like specific company doing like they have.

[Mary Kish]

There's a lot of forms.

[Dan Rert]

Okay. Orange fitness, Orange theory, whatever.

[Mary Kish]

I'm sure people who are really into it would probably be like, no, they're very different. But to me as an outsider who, who like dabbles I dabble in yoga. I dabble in Pilates. I dabble in all these things just to, like, mix it up. Because I get bored with workout routines really fast. And so every two weeks, I usually start a different program and do it until I get bored of it. Yeah. So I've done a lot of different versions of them, but I'll never forget Pilates.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Okay. I gotta try it.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

All right. Thank you, Nathan. I will get this last one. Thanks to Dan, I have the song Bundle of Nerves playing in my head constantly. It's a waking nightmare, only lessened by the images of. And by the image of Mike Minati in a wig appearing to be so frustrated, he's trying to pull the fake hairs out of his head. Head. And that one day, Dan will. Oh, it's only lessened also by the idea that one day, Dan will indeed pay. So what's the worst song you've ever had stuck in your head? Yours faithfully, Alex in Bendigo, Australia. Probably, like. Yeah, it's also the worst song would probably be Mambo number five.

[Dan Rert]

That's a rough. Nathan for you is incredible.

[Michael Mahari]

Yep.

[Dan Rert]

Or he just won't stop cranking it in the Ubers.

[Michael Mahari]

Turn it off. That one guy legitimately freaking out with the fart bags. Oh, actually, no. I have one other one. And this is, like, one of the things that. Amanda was very surprised after we got married to learn that I knew most of the song Country Girl by Luke Bryan by heart. I listened to. I listened to a. I had a friend when I was in Syracuse, still living there. Like, there was a surprising amount of country music going around in central New York. So I still, to this day, can remember most of country girls. Girl.

[Dan Rert]

I'm sorry.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, that's unfortunate. I carry it with me.

[Mary Kish]

It's a bummer when it. The lyrics get stuck in there. I have a. I have a vivid memory of being in San Francisco, working at.

[Dan Rert]

At.

[Mary Kish]

At Gamespot. So poor and really wanting to get a massage. I think I pulled something, and I was like, oh, I think a massage will really fix me up. But I can't afford to get, like, a fancy massage from a fancy place. Place. I'll go to one of those nail salons where I saw, you know, a sign in the window that said, we also will do a massage and facial for, like, 60 bucks. And I was like, that's a good deal. Like a $60 massage. I'll just go there. And so I go to this. I book it in advance, and I go. And there's These curtains that separate you from the nail salon. It's not a room, it's curtains. And that was not a great start. But I was like, that's fine. This is a affordable massage. I just want someone to help me feel better. I can deal with it. And I get on the table and the lady's like, has her own music. It's basically a boombox that's like in the corner and she's putting on a song or whatever and she starts to massage me. And the song comes on and it's Timber by Pitbull and Kesha. Yes.

[Dan Rert]

What?

[Michael Mahari]

And a massage parlor.

[Dan Rert]

Massage music.

[Mary Kish]

It's a nail salon. Yeah. And. And I remember being like, this is so odd. But like, again, it's a very affordable massage. It's a local place that's probably starting their business. I don't know. I'm going to leave it alone. And so it's just like I'm getting a massage. Like, I'm yelling, timba, you better dance. Yeah, it's just like a very.

[Michael Mahari]

We won't remember.

[Mary Kish]

Strange. Strange. So the song ends. I'm still getting my massage. The song starts up again. The entire Timber by Pitbull song plays a second time and I'm like, that's weird. That should not happen in a playlist. That's uncomfortable. I didn't like it the first time. I definitely don't like it the second time time. But I am not a complainer and I don't want to say anything. And so I sit there and get massaged for another round of Timber by Pitbull. The song ends. Timber by Pitbull plays a third time. And I say, what is this? Okay, I can't do it. And she goes, all right, well, let me look. And she starts like messing with the boombox to put on a different song. And she finds, finally puts down like a calm, you know, like water track where it's just like liquid.

[Dan Rert]

That's what you want to know.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, I know. And I'm shooting there.

[Michael Mahari]

She knew she had the other one ready because she knew at some point she would annoy someone with Timber.

[Mary Kish]

So I'm sitting there getting my massage to like running water and in my head for the rest of this 45 minute massage, it was just like, like, let's make a night you won't remember. It's like it's stuck. It was stuck in my head the rest of my day. This like Pitbull song. So to this day, when I hear that song, I kind of. I don't hate It. But I, I laugh and I think of like the worst massage I've ever had when I kept hearing Pitbull.

[Dan Rert]

Incredible. It's cheaper though. If you just let it play Pitbull the whole time. They give you a discount for some reason.

[Mary Kish]

I think she with more muscle number. Not everyone seemed fine with it but me. I was the only person that was like is this, is this acceptable to everyone else here? Like I, I don't understand how you can play this once, let alone three times and think I'm not going to say something.

[Dan Rert]

Mine was like a three month period in 1999. I was working at AMC 30 Theaters in Olathe, Kansas and we. I was, I think it was probably the summer because I remember working there like every day, like long shifts and stuff, stuff. And we would get these CDs every month and it was just movie tunes and it was just the background music that would play at the theaters basically. And you know, it was just like, it was like CD length. So it's like what, like an hour and a half maybe because you know, people wouldn't, would just hear it while they're in line for popcorn or whatever. But we would hear it on repeat every day. And I remember Living La Vida Loca was on there and that's fine, but I think this must have been really popular. Just came out or they paid to be on movie tunes or whatever. That song Smooth by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh yeah, that was.

[Dan Rert]

Something, something about the Midday sun, that one that was on that CD like three times. So every day I was hearing that song like dozens of times. And for some reason we didn't get new movie tune CDs for like a couple months. So there was a stretch of like three. Like it's probably the song I've heard the most in my life because that.

[Michael Mahari]

I've thought about this before. I used to hate getting a song stuck in my head. Now I don't mind it as much and I wonder if it used to be more annoying because we'd have it stuck in our head and then we'd have like those five CDs in our car or that one cassette tape. Whereas now it's like I think it's harder for a song to get stuck in our head because we have access to Spotify like any song we want in our pockets. So maybe it's not like I'm not tied to like Danny California was stuck in my head for like years because we just had stadium arcadium in the car. Great song still. But Like, I still. I have other options if I want to go away from like, snow. Heyo. Every once in a while.

[Dan Rert]

That's very specific. Yeah, Just disc one of Stadium Arcadium.

[Michael Mahari]

The blue.

[Dan Rert]

The Pluto.

[Michael Mahari]

No.

[Dan Rert]

Jupiter. Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Mahari]

And then Mars. Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

I don't think that if you had to listen to Santana for the rest of your life, that you would be like, I don't mind it. I don't mind having Santana in my head for the rest of my days.

[Dan Rert]

It's weird.

[Michael Mahari]

That's my point.

[Dan Rert]

I will have eras. I'll have eras of my life where it's like, I will have one song that is the song that I default to. You could ask Jason a striker any fucking time. We were getting ready to start a video and replay a game informer, a quick look at Giant Bomb, I would be humming without even realizing it. Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money.

[Michael Mahari]

Be my little baby.

[Dan Rert]

I would just be like. And he would. Would like. I remember one time he started singing and I was like, wait, did you know I would. He's like, dan, you've been humming that for like five years or something.

[Mary Kish]

So wow, that would get to me.

[Dan Rert]

I would say, take me home tonight was like 05 to 2016. And then I had a period, let's say 2016, to like 2023, where it was the stroke by Billy Squire or like stroke me. Maybe it's winner.

[Michael Mahari]

Maybe I like that you're singing these songs for us as if we don't know the song just by the.

[Dan Rert]

These are in my head for many years. For some reason, the last like three years, it has just been the limbo song. Jack, jump on the candlestick. Jack, come on the candlestick. Then you do the limbo rock. Hey, how low can you go? That one, like, it's insane. It's in my head.

[Mary Kish]

Than the lyric candlestick was in there because I had no idea what. What you were singing.

[Dan Rert]

Every fucking day I will just be walking. Like, I was living with Kayla for like two months when I was waiting for my house to close. And at one point she was like, stop fucking singing the lingo limbo song.

[Mary Kish]

That would drive me absolutely bonkers.

[Dan Rert]

Hearing the wife like, to this day. I was probably humming it.

[Michael Mahari]

Amanda gets mad at me because I like, will sing stuff like that around the house and get earworms in her head. Yeah, some of them I just make up when I'm doing something. Something. But like, I've been in a Billy Joel phase lately and have you heard the song down Easter Alexa? It's just an entire ballad about a guy who lives, like, on Long Island. He's a fisherman and he has to sell his house and live on his boat and fish because there's no money in being just the bait man at the docks anymore. It's crazy.

[Dan Rert]

That's repeatable little ditty for you to hum around the house.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Kish]

It sounds like everybody loves it. It sounds like nobody's upset that you're singing it.

[Michael Mahari]

I'll just break out, shower when I'm cooking.

[Mary Kish]

Like that. While, like, doing it like you're an opera singer.

[Michael Mahari]

I am in the town. No. Oh, my falsettos, my bravados, I don't know. The difference are fucking legendary. I can really, I can. Lil.

[Mary Kish]

Every man thinks they can do a falsetto, and every man is wrong.

[Dan Rert]

I do not think I can.

[Mary Kish]

Thank you.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, really? It's still falsetto.

[Dan Rert]

Like the I believe in a Thing called Love.

[Mary Kish]

Yes, something like that. That's a very intense version of it, I would say. Like, it's usually when a guy bicycle raises his voice in an extra octave. That's almost like a silly version of it. Like, I believe in a thing called. But I think a falsetto is more like when a guy sings in a high, high voice.

[Dan Rert]

Okay.

[Mary Kish]

But sweetly, softly. And it's still very difficult to do.

[Michael Mahari]

God. Rewatching MacGruber the other night, I still think every time we watch that movie, my favorite bit, the one that, like, I have to pause the movie is when he's like, what about your singing career? She's like, it can wait.

[Dan Rert]

You ever stick around during the credits? They have that whole song with Kristen Wiig and will forte the rock my body. That one.

[Michael Mahari]

Yes.

[Dan Rert]

It's incredible.

[Michael Mahari]

Rock, rock, rock, rock. I also just love, like, it goes on uncommented on just her obsession with owls.

[Dan Rert]

Yeah, it's great.

[Michael Mahari]

They don't mention it at all. Aside from putting a ton of them in the in the house pays off.

[Dan Rert]

After you watch it 50, 60 times, you'll notice a few little Easter. There's some very subtle jokes and very not subtle jokes in that movie. Movie. Yep.

[Michael Mahari]

All right. Well, thank you, Alex from Bendigo. That's our show. Like I said. Firescapecastmail.com get that inbox overflowing. Like Itasca Lake down the Mississippi.

[Mary Kish]

Like, Dan is a cool ranch in Bugsnax.

[Michael Mahari]

Like Dan's cool ranch puddle in Bugsnax. Get that. Get that invite box oozing.

[Mary Kish]

You're like a banana walking around with your wiener out walking through bug snacks.

[Michael Mahari]

Wait what would yours be? Did we. We got the puddle of. We got the puddle.

[Dan Rert]

What's yours?

[Michael Mahari]

We got the puddle of Cool Ranch. We got the banana. What's yours?

[Mary Kish]

I don't know.

[Dan Rert]

Your. Your anthropomorphic banana. Human.

[Michael Mahari]

Human.

[Mary Kish]

Human dick coming out of an open banana.

[Michael Mahari]

Yes.

[Mary Kish]

And a puddle of Cool Ranch.

[Dan Rert]

No.

[Mary Kish]

Dorito.

[Dan Rert]

No, I was a Dorito.

[Mary Kish]

No, you didn't say that. Dan, you have to be clear with.

[Dan Rert]

Your words when I say Cool Ranch. Trust me, I'm thinking about a Dorito.

[Mary Kish]

Nobody knows that.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, come on. Really?

[Michael Mahari]

No, I just didn't register. But yeah. Mary, what's yours? Quick.

[Mary Kish]

I don't know. I didn't think about it.

[Michael Mahari]

I should have on the spot when I came up with banana dick. Wine bottle.

[Mary Kish]

I came up with banana dick, sir.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, you did. Thank you. Okay, I'll help you then.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, you do Mine.

[Michael Mahari]

Coors light can. I did not know.

[Mary Kish]

With two legs coming out of it.

[Michael Mahari]

With two legs. With bowling shoes on.

[Dan Rert]

Again. The video patrons are really feasting this week.

[Michael Mahari]

Yep. And then. And then. Oh God. I need one more detail to really sell it. Stick it in people's heads.

[Mary Kish]

Dick and a dick.

[Michael Mahari]

You're. And then the head.

[Dan Rert]

And then.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, a human dick coming out.

[Dan Rert]

There you go. Two dicks.

[Mary Kish]

I've always wanted to have two dicks. This is my magical happy place that I will go to after the show because I'm allowed to go anywhere that I want.

[Michael Mahari]

One dick for one dick for sucking.

[Dan Rert]

You know we've got range for as a podcast when we can be like this. Mugenics humor is a bit low brow for my face. Here's the one.

[Michael Mahari]

Here's the pairing list from my trip to Aruba.

[Mary Kish]

Jake, edit this so that we say Mugenics is a little distasteful. And then say two dicks. One for sucking and one for fucking. Maybe Eugenics is perfect.

[Dan Rert]

It's real good. I'm glad it came around.

[Mary Kish]

Yeah, maybe there's nothing wrong with it. And it's totally fine to watch Cats and giving birth then dying.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah. If you do want the video version of the show, you can go to our patreon. Go to firescapecast.com or to deepdishpussy.com, which I did. Re up. We still have the domain. It's a business expense.

[Dan Rert]

Good.

[Michael Mahari]

You can also get ad free episodes or you can just treat it like a tip jar. If you appreciate what we do and like listening to our normal ad filled episodes, we will be back in two weeks. However, before then, Dan what do you have going on in the means of time?

[Dan Rert]

Giantbomb.com Check out the new website. Check out. We got new stuff going on. We're doing new premium shows. We. We got Abby Russell kicking up her new show any day now, depending on when you're listening to this. And some other stuff very much in the works that we look forward to announcing very soon. Maybe even listeners to this podcast would be particularly interested in.

[Mary Kish]

That's cool. I love Abby. It's awesome to hear her joining. Joining forces with you guys again. And it's cool that you're able to do that for people that really. I think what's neat about this new version of Giant Bomb is like, you don't need to, like, ask for permission. You can just be like, we like this person. You're back. And I think that's sick.

[Dan Rert]

We can just pick and. Yeah, so we got her doing a Tomadachi Life dating game show, basically, which is, I feel it's kind of a spiritual successor to 13 deadly sins. Yeah, no, we're all dating. And there are different, like, good ones on the island for us to date that we get more points for and bad ones if we date them. And then there's also a roving Shaq, Shaquille o', Neal, and he's worth the most points if you date Shaq. But there's also an evil Shaq named Shat, and if you date him, you lose a bunch of points. So he's really put together something special.

[Mary Kish]

Here, and that's going to be very special very soon.

[Dan Rert]

So, Giant Bomb.

[Mary Kish]

Mike, what are you up to?

[Michael Mahari]

Vinny and I are still playing Total Warhammer 3. I think we're getting toward the end of each campaign, but they're definitely very, very eventful. We are playing the good campaign. He's playing as Emrek and the high elves and the dragon collectors. I'm playing as Oxyotl, the chameleon who goes in and out of the realms of chaos and just kind of polices the world that's heating up on Firescape. You'll get that if you're a video patron. And if you're not a patron for Nexlander, go do so. Because we are playing a separate also co op campaign for Nexlander content as evil characters. And Vinny's being the skull taker. He's actually really cool. He's one of those characters that might convert you, Dan. He's not going to, but he's a demon with a cape made of skulls. Pretty cool.

[Dan Rert]

Mark my words. I'LL get into Warhammer at some point. Some point.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, it'll. Then you'll have another thing that you were resistant to and then you love.

[Dan Rert]

I play a little space marine. I'm like, oh, wait, maybe Warhammer is cool.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, that's sci fi. That's 40K.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, it's confusing. Never mind.

[Michael Mahari]

I'm talking fantasy. There's just. Okay, not that there's two.

[Mary Kish]

I'm talking fantasy.

[Dan Rert]

You can't have it be two different things.

[Michael Mahari]

I. I'll let them know. But we'll be back in two weeks with episode 127 of the Fire Escape Cast. Thank you for joining us.

[Mary Kish]

I also stream on Twitch.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, yeah, Mary stream. That's it. Did I not ask you what you were doing?

[Mary Kish]

No, no.

[Dan Rert]

You were quiet for an uncomfortable period of time. So she filled the dead air by asking you what you were doing is what happened. I clearly finished my thing and then it was dead air for like a good four seconds. And Mary's like, how about you, Mike?

[Michael Mahari]

What was I doing?

[Dan Rert]

Looking down.

[Michael Mahari]

I'm just losing it.

[Mary Kish]

Thinking about the banana.

[Dan Rert]

That worries me.

[Michael Mahari]

I don't even remember zoning out.

[Dan Rert]

Oh, check the video. You're just like looking down. Just American. Picked up the ball.

[Michael Mahari]

I pro. Oh, I've been playing with this. Fidgeting.

[Dan Rert]

Important work. Okay. Yeah.

[Mary Kish]

Fidgeting with some little toy.

[Michael Mahari]

Oh, I have to do you got. Wait, have you. Have we talked about a fidget tool before? Do you guys have a fidget tool at all?

[Dan Rert]

Yeah. Told me about this gimmick here. I like this guy.

[Michael Mahari]

I got this one. I got the one. It's got different things on each side of the cube.

[Dan Rert]

I've got one of the cubes.

[Michael Mahari]

Yeah, I like them. They're nice. The metal ball is nice. It clicks. I. I like these. I should have had this out. That would have been less weird to hold up than this cap to a water bottle. Sorry, Mary, what do you have going on?

[Mary Kish]

I stream on Twitch. It's the same update as always. I stream on Twitch. I will say, because I think this episode will go up on a Monday. I did my first ever Steam collection associated with wholesome games for the American Heart Association. So it's February. If you all are interested in. It's only available until the 17th, so unfortunately, if you see this late, it'll be too late. But I'm going to do these again. I think it's cool. It's a collection of games. It includes peak. It includes. What is it called? A Short Hike. Oh, my gosh. I love that game phasmophobia. Anyway, buying those games, a portion, a portion of all the proceeds goes to the American Heart association because it is February, it's heart month. Heart disease is like the leading cause of death worldwide. It's crazy. So this is a good opportunity to buy a game. And a portion of the proceeds goes to basically the American Heart Association. How awesome is that? Anyway, so I put together this collection. Maybe we can link to it. No obligation. But it's kind of cool that all these games, they did this on their own accord. We organized it. Shout out to wholesome games who helped put it together and, and, and helped me launch this.

[Dan Rert]

I'm.

[Mary Kish]

I'm really proud of it.

[Michael Mahari]

Nice. Cool. Sounds great. Anyway, we'll be back in two weeks.

[Mary Kish]

Anyway, bye.

[Michael Mahari]

Bye.

[Dan Rert]

Out of here. See ya. Sa.