A (1:43)

Nine brothers and sisters.

B (1:45)

It's uncomfortable. I have six brothers and three sisters, and I really, honestly didn't know I was a girl until, like, I don't know, maybe a week ago. Like, it feels. Sometimes it feels so. Like, this is crazy because I know this is, like a dating thing and my dating is out of control. And I tour with my second ex fiance, and every once in a while he'll catch me, like, sitting like this, and he's like, really? Really? How Ladylike. Which was the name of my album because he always called me ladylike.

A (2:18)

Really? Why do you tour with your second ex fiance?

B (2:23)

Because I'm not smart. And that's just how it goes, you know?

A (2:29)

How many fiance's have you had?

B (2:31)

3. I'm not a closer. It's not my thing. I get this close and I'm like, ah, ah, ah. I can't do it.

A (2:40)

Has it been you that's backed out every time.

B (2:42)

Really? Every single time? Yeah. That's. I know. So there's something there. Maybe I should see a therapist. But does.

A (2:49)

Does just being with. Does just like locking it down with one person scare you?

B (2:54)

No, they'll just. I guess I think of that, like, oh, we're gonna be in this. And then I'm like, they'll do something stupid. And I'm like, I can't. I can't be in this the whole time. Like, it'll just. It's little things that irritate me and I guess, like growing up in pure chaos in a. Like, really a two and a half bedroom. People say it's a three bedroom, but that middle room was a closet and we had a bunk bed in there. It was awful.

A (3:20)

And you had 10 or nine brothers

B (3:23)

and sisters, and I had a share room with my brother, so there was seven of us in one room, like, so it was pure chaos, you know? So when I finally moved out and lived alone, it was like, what?

A (3:35)

Oh, I can imagine so.

B (3:37)

Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, shit. You're going to be like the elderly old lady who. You know. I don't like cats, but I'm close. I'm getting close.

A (3:46)

They're warming up to you.

B (3:47)

Yeah. All of a sudden I'm like, look at the way he purrs. I wonder what six of them would be like. It's like a choir.

A (3:53)

Man. That's so.

B (3:55)

So. I don't know if it's got to be me. It's got to be me. Like, what? You know, I don't know. Something makes me. My. My second ex fiance is Andrew Dice Clay. That's. Yeah. So sorry about that for you kids out there. No, I'm kidding. Wow.

A (4:12)

How did he propose?

B (4:14)

Oh, that was interesting. So we. We've known each other a long time. I moved to LA trying to be an actress and like in the 90s, and then they were like, yeah, you're. You're not gonna be an actress. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you're auditioning and just getting rejected. Rejected, whatever. But at the. In the meantime, I was waiting tables at the Comedy Store. So I was around all these comics and, you know. Yeah, you're going through it, but so are they. And we're kind of like laughing together. He was. Andrew was one of my first friends at the Comedy Store. Like, there was like a handful of comics that became like my best buddies, whatever. And he was married he was always, like, a family guy and whatever. And then he went through a divorce, and he kind of came after me for a while, and I was like, I know. I. I know you're gonna go back to your. What? Like, you're just. You're that guy, you know? Like, I know his act is one thing, but he's just. He was a good. He's a great dad. Still is a great dad. And he's. I was a loyal, you know, So I was like, okay. He chased me for a while, and then finally I caved. And then we started dating, and we. For, like. I think it was like, two and a half years or three years. I'm not good. This is the other thing. I'm not good at dates and stuff. And I. We broke up for, like, a month. And then he showed up at the Comedy Store and I was waiting tables, and he came in the kitchen, and, like, he started, like. He just was talking. He proposed, basically. And I literally, like, had a tray of drinks, and I just went upstairs and put up, like, put out my drinks. And I was like, I don't know what just happened. And then I go. I forgot a Corona. And I went back downstairs and I went to get the Corona. And he goes, are you gonna talk to me? And I'm like, I gotta bring this Corona upstairs. He's like, are you. Are you serious right now? And he's like, I just asked you to marry me. I'm like, I don't know what's happening. Like, we were apart for a month. I was moving back East. I was going to New York. I was like, forget it. I had a down payment on an apartment. Everything. I paid first and last. I was out. Wow. And then I was like, I don't think you're serious. Like, I didn't believe him at first. And then this is like, a weird thing, too. We went. It was in. He took me to lunch in Beverly Hills, like, to try to. It took, like, a week for me to say yes. And so we go to lunch in Beverly Hills, and I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he goes, hey, I want you to meet my friend. And it was Sylvester Stallone. And I was like, wait a minute. You asked me to marry you and you brought the love of my life? What? Like, I was like, are you serious right now? Like, he. And he. But I was like, hi. Hi. Like, all of a sudden, I get girly around people I have a crush on. Oh, my God, Rocky.

A (7:11)

Yeah.

B (7:12)

Like, I'm a Philly kid. He's ingrained in our brains. So it was. Yeah. And then we went to Vegas, and then that's where I said yes, because he proposed for real. Like, he didn't have a ring the first time. You know what I mean? Like, it didn't seem. It didn't seem real. It felt like, oh, let's get back together kind of thing. You know what I mean? Like, oh, this is how you do it. But then I found out that women do that all the time. I didn't know that. I wasn't trying to get engaged. Yeah, but they're like. Women will break it off to, like, get a guy to come to. Yeah. A realization like, hey, you got a good thing here. Yeah. And I was like, oh, no, that's not what I was trying to do. Yeah, I'm not that clever.

A (7:55)

No. I just ask and ask and ask and poke and poke and prod and prod.

B (8:00)

How would you have to ask? Like, I would have to beg you.

A (8:04)

No, I. I have. I. My husband now. I asked him for, like, three. Three years.

B (8:08)

No. Yeah.

A (8:09)

I was like, can we. Like, are we. What are we doing? Are we gonna get married? And he's like, yeah.

B (8:16)

I really identify as a man. I think as a kid, I did want to transition, and my mom wouldn't let me, but here you are. Hey, Caitlin. Here I come. You got competition.

A (8:32)

Okay, so you say yes, and then how long are you guys engaged?

B (8:36)

About a year.

A (8:37)

And then what happened?

B (8:39)

As I tell people, I regained consciousness and I got out of it, but it just. We grew apart. It just. Unfortunately, I lost my best friend. And it just. You know, when you just go into. And then my grandma, who I was so close to, we were so tight. And, like, my grandmom used to be like, hey, girlfriend. Like, she made you feel like you were her friend.

A (9:02)

Yeah.

B (9:02)

So I was, like, had that thing. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I lost my best friend. You know what I mean? Like, twice. Like, my. My best friend, literally. And then 20 days later, my grandma. So I was, like, kind of numb for a while. Like, it felt like. And then he was trying to manage it the best he could, you know, because we're really close. Like, you know, he was going through a terrible time, and I. Obviously, I was going through some dumb stuff, too, but, like, he had full custody of the kids. Like, we had the kids 24, 7. It was great. Like, I love his kids. Just, like, they're my own. They're awesome. And so. And he's, like, a great dad. Like, that's all he. You know what I mean? Like, I remember when my mom met him, she was like, she goes, oh God, Andrew, the guy who puts a cigarette in his ear. Like, it doesn't go. It goes all the way. What are you saying? Like, and then she saw him, like, cuddling on our couch with like his two boys during Christmas and she goes, oh, he's just a regular person. Like, she was judging this Persona and. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (10:09)

But it's always that's. It's when you only see someone on a stage or in a limelight.

B (10:15)

Sure. And then her kids or her boys were listening to it and reciting it and she's like, he's a foul mouth. I'm like, no, your boys are too, but so is your daughter. But sorry Andrew didn't teach us.

A (10:29)

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C (11:55)

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A (12:25)

Two other proposals.

B (12:28)

Yeah my out of all three, who

A (12:29)

had the best one I.

B (12:31)

You know, I really feel bad for my first. Because at that time, I was in my 20s. I think I was like 25. And we were. I was. I was like, struggling, like, making money. You know what I mean? Like, so I was waiting tables and he kept trying to get me to take off to go places. And I was like, dude, this is like one of the busiest nights at the store. Are you serious? I can't go. Would never go. And I was like. For a while, he kept asking, and I was just. And then finally one night, I got home at like 3 in the morning, and he kneeled. He was on his knees in the bedroom going, please marry me. I wanted to do it in a better place, but you wouldn't take off work, but God forbid, you can't wait tables one day.

A (13:19)

So that was the first one.

B (13:20)

Yeah.

A (13:21)

Second one was in the kitchen.

B (13:22)

And the third one was like. We were in Vegas and he. We were gonna get married right there. We were gonna do it. And then I had a little bit of a panic attack. Like, my mom will be mad like, that I didn't do. Cause one of my brothers, he. They did a like, go destination. They went by themselves. Cause they had already had a kid, so they don't want to put the pressure on, like, a big party. They didn't care. They just love each other, want to do it. Which we understood. But my mom was like, we should have had a. You know.

A (13:54)

Yeah.

B (13:55)

So you. Kind of. For her sake. I'm like, especially her daughters, you know, it's like a bigger deal. The boys, not so much. But when it's the daughter.

A (14:03)

Yeah.

B (14:04)

So I thought, oh, man, I should wait. And then we were going to plan it, and then we broke up. And it was like. I just remember again with this thinking, like, oh, I can't do this forever. I was working for Kid Rock on his. He has a cruise. That's not the joke. I'm just kidding. But Kid Rock has. He used to do these cruises. And I did two years in a row. And I brought my fiance with me. And he drove me so crazy before the cruise and on the cruise that there was one day I was like, I could push him off. I could push them off. No one would notice. No one notice. I know his sisters, they would congratulate me.

A (14:51)

They'd be like, no, he.

B (14:53)

He was great. But I was just so up. I was over it. And then I remember we went to the airport and when we got. He was going back to la and I was going to Philly, and I swear to God, I walked him. I'm so crazy. I walked him to, like, where he would be taken off from his. What is his gate? Yeah. And I go, this is your flight. I'm on the other side. And then I literally was, like, stepping in, and I walked, and I never. And we broke up. That was it. That was the breakup.

A (15:27)

How long ago was that?

B (15:30)

It's been a while now. Nine years now. I don't get engaged now. It's just, like, now I'm on hit it and quit it mode. It's gotta be, like, nine years ago now.

A (15:41)

Yeah.

B (15:41)

Eight years. I don't know. I'd have to look it up again with the dates. I'm terrible.

A (15:45)

Have you had any serious relationships since then?

B (15:48)

No. It's all been, like, kind of quick. Not like, that fast. Like, one and done. Yeah. But pretty much, like, because Covid hit. It was, like, weird through there.

A (16:01)

Yeah.

B (16:02)

And then I just have no patience. I'm just like, I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm scared now.

A (16:09)

Do you care to date?

B (16:10)

Yeah, I should. I should date more. But the last year, I haven't been. Yeah, I know. It. I. Well, because the last. A couple dates, like, I went on a date with this guy. He told me he was a turtle farmer. I'm like, what's happening right now? Like, I don't even. That's not even a real thing. But he was serious. He was. He said he has it in his. In his apartment. Like, he keeps turtles and he. He breeds them. And I'm like, I don't even know. Who needs turtles? Like, I don't understand what that means. So who is a turtle? He's probably got a documentary coming out on Netflix soon. I don't know. He's a psycho. That's what I'm saying. You want to come back and see my turtles? Like, what? Yeah, you're probably just luring women in and, like, beating them.

A (16:54)

I would need to see the turtle farm.

B (16:56)

Yeah. I wouldn't. I was good. I was like, we could go to my place, but this isn't gonna last.

A (17:01)

That would have been the death of me. That's a sick. Yeah. I would have been like, I want to go see your turtle farm.

B (17:08)

That's so funny.

A (17:09)

And that would have been it. My head would have been lopped off and put in a fridge. Like, you can see how easy it is to get me at home.

B (17:18)

To be honest, I had so many of those that I'm, like, close. Crazy calls. There was one guy this Was again, this was in my twenties. He, he was, I met, it was right after my ex fiance, my first ex fiance. So it was kind of like a rebound. Nice looking kid. I, I was like, yeah, like we're hanging out, we're hitting it off. I went to his apartment and he's showing me all these pictures and I go, it was like I realized it was the same girl. And I go, what, what is this? And, and she was like, like half naked in them, some of them naked. And I was like, oh, this is fucked up. Like I'm gonna, I'm in big trouble here right now. But I'm a, you know, I'm a South Philly kid. So my brain is like, if I have to snap this guy's neck, no problem. Like I'm sizing him up now, like as I'm thinking about it and, and at the pictures and I go, who is this? He goes, this is my ex girlfriend. And I remember he was from Florida. And he goes, this is my ex girlfriend. And he goes, and I'm gonna find her cuz she ran away from me. And I was like, okay. And then I, I somehow got out of there, right? And I remember I calling my friends like, you're not gonna believe this. This crazy guy, he's like, he's looking for this girl, she's a playmate, she works at the Playboy Mansion, whatever. Couple months later, we were at the Playboy Mansion because that's just how I was living back then. And we used to do shows with them. You know, when you're in your 20s, you don't know, but we used to host events for them at the Comedy Store. So I got real friendly with a lot of the half. All of them used to come in and so I would take care of them and whatever, run all the parties for them. So they invited us to everybody from the Comedy Store to this party. And I'm there and I'm dead. I see this girl and I go, oh my God, that's her. And I ran up to her, hey, hey, can I ask you a question? I'm not trying to freak you out. Do you have a crazy ex boyfriend? She said, where are you from? And I go, philadelphia. And she goes, oh, how, what do you know about that? And I go, oh no, he's from Florida. I went on a date with him. He's looking for you. You have to be careful. You have to. And I told her everything. And she was like, oh my God, thank you so much. And then she started CR and talking to her Girlfriend. Because she knew this fucker was getting closer. Yeah. Sick. But she ran away from him to be a model. I don't know. Whatever happened, I didn't hear anything creepy. But I need to know the end of the story. I don't know. It was. Again, you know, I went on to the next guy.

A (19:46)

Oh, my goodness.

B (19:48)

Yeah. And then my friend fell off the trampoline at the Playboy Mansion, and we thought she was going to be a paraplegic, so that got weird and we left real quick. Wow. She's a very funny comic named Tammy Pascatel. But we were. It was kind of raining and we were jumping, and she was like, ah. She slid down the fucking. Oh, my God. It was tremendous because she's okay. But she did fall off a. She had a bit about it for years because she's like, how do I explain to my family? Like, how'd you hurt your back? Oh, I was at the Playboy Mansion. No, no, I was on a trampoline. Wait a minute. No, not like that. Like, it was great. But, yeah, that night I saw that girl and I told her everything. I was like. So I hope she's okay, but there's some kooks out there.

A (20:35)

Oh, my goodness.

B (20:35)

Lots of kooks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweet. I love the breath. Yeah, there's.

A (20:44)

You've lived such a crazy life.

B (20:46)

Well, yeah, but I'm trying. I gotta. I like, my goal now is, like, we joke about this, me and my ex. This is what. We came up with a plan. Because we were in Florida last week, and I was like, my. One of my favorite things is to move to the villages. I don't if you guys know what this is.

A (21:04)

I don't know.

B (21:05)

It's in Florida. It's a great documentary. These people are nuts. They're just all having sex and giving each other STDs, and it's amazing. And they're just riding around on golf carts. They're doing donuts. It's their own little community. Like, I'm. I want to be on a waiting list. Like, I'm ready to tag out. But also, I could go to Boca. Is it Boca? I can't think of. Yeah, it was Boca that we went to. And he's like, you could come down here, meet, like, a guy who's got, like, one foot in the grave. Just hang out for a year or two, you know?

A (21:39)

Yeah.

B (21:39)

Because down there, I'm a. I'm a catch. I'm still like, you know, I could still move, and I don't need a walker. But I could help him with his walker. He could be his nurse, play with his elderly. You know, they're all the way down here now, but, yeah, it could be fun. I'm a caretaker, so that is a thing.

A (21:58)

That's so. So now you. Are you always on tour?

B (22:03)

Yeah, I work with Andrew a lot, but I also do my headline a lot. Like, I'm at the Mothership this week. You know what I mean? Like, I headline myself, but I haven't, like, done anything big enough to do giant tours like he does. So when he does those, even the little ones, I do with them. But the big, like, things we have coming up, like, the Venetian in Vegas is a big one, so. And then at the Silver Legacy in Reno, we have coming at the end of March and the beginning of March. What is it? April. Yeah. Thank you. What comes after March? April. See what happens.

A (22:39)

You're not going to dates.

B (22:40)

It's okay. It's all right. We're not good at dates. Not at all. But, yeah, so March and whatever. So I'll do those big shows with him, you know, and, you know, he's not a spring chicken either. So his touring is, you know, sporadic, but still happening. Yeah, yeah, he's doing, like, bigger venues. One tooth, you know.

A (23:02)

How did you go from waiting tables at the Comedy Store to performing?

B (23:07)

And, like, oh, yeah, that's a problem, because I never wanted to be a comic. Like, I. I didn't have any interest. And when I got the job at the Comedy Store, I was. I was familiar with comics, of course, but I didn't know, you know, like, I know now, whatever. But when I got there, I was like, oh, what is this? People pay to see comedy. And then, you know, learning the ropes. And like I said, your first friends were. My friend Freddie Soto, who was a great comic who passed away from El Paso, Texas. That was my best friend that passed, and he was, like, the funniest guy. And we used to laugh so hard, and he always used to say, I should be doing stand up, you know, And I would hold court in the kitchen, just talking trash. And, like, you know, a comic would be mean to a waitress, and they were like, get Eleanor. She'll get him. You know, So I would, like, cut him down because I was good at that.

A (24:05)

You're pro, right?

B (24:06)

Yeah. My brothers, like, people are like, oh, aren't the comics mean? I'm like, you want to come to my mother's house? You'll cry for a year like it's a sin. My brothers are so mean. They Say, my brother, I'm sure I have a text right now of one of the meanest things. They'll see a picture and send it and deform it and they're awful. So. But they're great, you know?

A (24:25)

Yeah.

B (24:26)

So we're just grew up like that. So I just know how to kind of do that to people. And then so I would do that in the kitchen and everybody was like, you should be doing stand up. What are you doing? You're wasting your time. And my Freddy, my friend would be like, if I see you in one more play. Because I was doing plays in la, which is basically psychotic. No one goes to plays and. Or does plays except for this idiot. And I was doing a play and a couple of them and Freddie came to see it and he goes, if I see you in another play where you get like raped by the football team and you're crying the entire time, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you in front of everyone. Like, I can't. He goes, you're funny. Why are you always crying on stage? I'm like, I'm gonna be Meryl Streep, dude. I know how to cry on cue. Yeah. My mother called me Jezebel from the day I was born.

A (25:18)

That's so cool.

B (25:18)

I could get us out of anything.

A (25:21)

Wow.

B (25:22)

So I thought I was gonna do that and be like, no, that's not it. You do comedy. And I'm like, you're miserable. All comics are miserable. I go, you just. Misery loves company. You just want me to be miserable with you. And now I am, but I'm without him, so it sucks. But he was him that like after he passed away, I. I guess it took like a year or whatever because then I. I split up with Andrew. Then I just started like working on a one woman show kind of thing. And the owner of the Comedy Store, her name was Mitzi Shore. And I called Mitzi and I had already left because I was moving to New York, you know what I mean? Like, I had her and. But then I got engaged. Everything went wacky. But. So I had already quit the store at this point and I called Mitzi, I go, hey, would it be okay if I did a show in the belly room? She goes, perfect, that's what it's here for. And I was like, great. So she. And then I called Andrew. I go, hey, are you gonna be okay if I. Cuz I respect him and what he does and that's his house, you know. So I said, you know, is it okay if I Do this at the store. He goes, yeah. So he came to see me, and he was like, dude, you. This isn't a woman. This is stand up. You're an idiot. And so. Because he's a charmer. And so we went on the road. He took me on the road three months later.

A (26:47)

Really?

B (26:48)

Three months later. It was the nerve of me to be on tour with Andrew Dice Clay three months into comedy.

A (26:55)

Wow.

B (26:56)

And I. I got. We did great because we had a VH1 show called Dice Undisputed. So that was on. And so he was like, if you come on tour with me, people know you from that. And I go, they will. Yeah. And I. Because it wasn't, you know, television at that point was already kind of 2007. Like, the. The. The views were going down, the streamers were coming out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, they were losing to different things at that point, you know, so. So I was like, whatever, let's. Let's do it. You know, I did great in California. When we got to New York, that was already canceled. And I got booed off the stage. It was unbelievable in Long Island. And I literally. Andrew was like, you know, when you go on stage, because you should show your tough attitude. You should wear, like, you know, a cute top and, like, high boots and like, maybe like, a short shorts or skirt or something. Show yourself off. And I'm like, okay. I really. So I wore these cute little shorts and high boots and a cute little top and had a cute little half bra. And I'm like, hell, yeah. I still got it. And then I went out there, and I. You know, it was. We had two guys going. First, they took an intermission. This is at Westbury Music Fair. So it's in the round. And I go on stage, my cute little outfit, and I say, I'm from Philadelphia. And immediately they're like, boo, the Eagles Phillies. And I'm like, God. And. And my sister drove from Philly to see my older sister. We're 10 years apart, but we look exactly alike. And she drove up, up to. Sorry. No worries. She drove to see me do this big show, and so I knew she was there, so I felt that, like, you know, excitement. But they're go. They're already, boo Philly. And I just try to start my act. And then the booing just built. And it was in the front, the sides. Oh, my gosh. I think I got, like two or three lines out. Like, one time I. Somebody yelled out, where's Dice? And I'm like, he's up my ass. She want to tickle it.

A (29:07)

His feet.

B (29:07)

Like, I snapped. You know what I mean? But I, like, went to the street. Yeah, that's how we talk. Yeah. And he literally, like. I remember being like, what am I doing? And I'm trying to do the stupid little eight minutes that I had, you know, I only had eight minutes of material. And the booing got louder. And I remember I locked eyes with my sister because she was right up front, and she just looked at me like this. Like, what do you want to do? You want to fight this whole room? I'll start in this section. You start over there. Like. And it made me giggle, and I got in my head, like. And then I got through the rest of it, and I go, all right, all right, I'll bring them out. Like, I controlled it to. To an extent.

A (29:44)

Yeah.

B (29:44)

But I had to cut. You know, I had to get off.

A (29:47)

I understand.

B (29:49)

Within, like, I think I only did, like, six, seven minutes, as opposed to my 10 or eight, when you can't

A (29:54)

even hear yourself think.

B (29:56)

It was so. I mean, I was sweating so bad that my cute little half bra slid down like I had tumors on my stomach. My dumb little padded tit bra. It's so annoying. It was bad that I just. I. I brought him out, and he's like, I'm not. They can't do that to you. Because at that moment, he's still, like, sensitive. Like, hey, she was my ex fiance. Like, she's like family. Like, they can't boo. He goes, I don't want to go out there. I go, go. They. They want to see you. They don't want to see me. They just go, have fun. And he was so angry. Had, like, the best set I've ever seen. Really? Because he. He ripped. And then I was in the stands, and I was just walking around. This guy went, hey, man, sorry to boo you. We just wanted to see Dice. But you were great. And I'm like, you go yourself. Yes. Where's my sister? We're gonna kick your ass. Honestly, like, I was so mad. And. Yeah, my bro. I remember calling my mom and crying and being like, I can't do this. And my brother Tommy was like, they booed Blondie. Who cares? And I'm like, she's not a comic, dude. That was. Who Blondie.

A (31:04)

It was just so hard, though.

B (31:06)

It was hard. And then I got booed the next night in Jersey.

A (31:09)

I don't think people understand how devastating, unbelievable that. Can feel it.

B (31:15)

I do. You. You do? I could cry right now.

A (31:18)

One out of a million, you know, so awful.

B (31:22)

And that was the thing they would do for his crowd just to mess with the opening acts. So it took me from there. He was like, well, let's. What if we, you know, you take a year and see if you really want to do this. Because he. It hurt him to see me get booed, so I was mad, like, am I not good enough? Like, am I not good at this? Like, you know, that challenge, that kind of.

A (31:49)

Yeah, but working for him for one year is like 10 years of practice.

B (31:53)

Well, no, no. Working for him for four nights. Yeah. Like. And so from those four nights, he was like, like, why don't you take a year and see if you really want to do it? So I did. And I hustled every day. I got up. Like, people are like, you can't get up a lot in la. That's not true. You just have to go to the stinky parts.

A (32:12)

Yeah.

B (32:13)

And. And I mean, like, you know, a coffee house of this. And I did. I went to all these dumb little open mics anywhere I could. And the Comedy Store, because I was so ingrained in there, they were pretty good to me with putting me up on friends and family, and they would let me host a lot of it. Took me, like, three years to become a paid regular, which was mean, but. I'm kidding. But that's Mitzi. That's how she is. She wants to make sure you're ready.

A (32:40)

Yeah.

B (32:40)

Like, she. Don't just do that. You have to earn it, you know? And I did. I worked really hard. And then about a year later, Dice got a residency in Vegas, and he had two comics from New York and two comics from LA come out. And I was one of the LA comics, and we did better than the guys from New York, so we got the job. Wow. So I. Not only was I hitting all those mics, I was doing his residency. Yeah. Every weekend.

A (33:08)

So you were working out. You were like.

B (33:10)

Yeah. So it took that whole year, and then maybe a little over a year, and then I got that gig with him, and then that's why we're still together. And the other guy kind of just quit comedy. I don't know if he quit. He might still be doing it. I don't know.

A (33:23)

Well, it's really impressive that you stuck with it even after.

B (33:25)

Yeah. It's like getting beat in, I guess. Jumped in.

A (33:29)

Jumped.

B (33:30)

Yeah. That's my gang now.

A (33:32)

Yeah.

B (33:32)

Seriously, like, I got my ass kicked. Yeah. But I never been booed again since. I wish you would. No, I'M just kidding.

A (33:41)

Come at me, bro.

B (33:42)

I know. I get, like. Because when people get. You know, you can have bad sets.

A (33:46)

Sure.

B (33:46)

I had two bad sets last night. But, you know, because you're working stuff out, right? And you're just whatever. Every crowd's different.

A (33:54)

Yeah.

B (33:55)

So you hope for the best, but it's not always.

A (33:58)

Have you ever had a fan just try to date you?

B (34:02)

Absolutely. I'm afraid to do it, but I know people who have. I know people who have. And I think Wayne Newton met his wife that way.

A (34:12)

Really?

B (34:13)

I only know that story because he's friends with Andrew and he was at. At a show and I believe his wife was in the front row. Or a fan future wife. And they're still together, which is amazing. Wow. Yeah. So. But he, like, you know, it's like. Haley Bieber. Yeah.

A (34:33)

Wasn't she a fan?

B (34:35)

Yeah, I think so.

A (34:36)

She was like. Didn't she win something? Like some exclusive meet and greet with Justin Bieber?

B (34:41)

I don't know.

A (34:41)

Am I making.

B (34:42)

She's a Baldwin. Does she have to win something?

A (34:45)

She is. Oh, I don't know. This is just.

B (34:49)

Her dad's Stephen Baldwin. Right.

A (34:51)

Hailey Bieber. This is where TMZ gets their information. Okay. If you hear the fake news.

B (34:57)

I'm just kidding. Yeah. The Baldwin. She's a Baldwin kid.

A (35:02)

I didn't know that.

B (35:03)

Yeah, she is. Is she? I think her dad's Steven. Yeah.

A (35:08)

I didn't know that.

B (35:10)

Cause it's Alex. Steven. Billy.

A (35:11)

I learned something new.

B (35:13)

Oh. I have a crush on the Baldwin, so.

A (35:17)

Stephen Baldwin.

B (35:18)

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

A (35:19)

Wow. Okay. I thought.

B (35:21)

Steven's not my crush. I like Steven. He's nice. But I have a big crush on Alec.

A (35:24)

I didn't know that. I thought she was just a fan.

B (35:28)

No, with. No, no. That's. That's royalty. That's Hollywood royalty.

A (35:33)

Okay.

B (35:33)

And no. No offense to. I mean, it's great. I guess they're good together. She's beautiful.

A (35:37)

No, but it's a different.

B (35:39)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (35:39)

Storyline.

B (35:40)

I see what you mean. Yeah.

A (35:41)

I thought she was just a fan that met Justin Bieber.

B (35:46)

No, I mean, she probably was a fan, though, right? But.

A (35:49)

Yeah, but her dad's Stephen Baldwin.

B (35:51)

Yeah.

A (35:51)

So that helped. She's fine.

B (35:53)

That helps a little bit.

A (35:57)

So you have never dated a fan?

B (35:59)

No, I. I have never dated a fan that I. They still like DM you and stuff, and you're like, I can't. Or, like, they'll talk to you and they'll be like, no, I'm like a really normal guy. I'm like, are you though? You know, And I, I'm like, my mom says my picker's off, so I'm, I don't have a good. She says when it comes to men, my taste is all in my mouth. And I don't really know what that means. Well, but I'm like, it's not that tasty. I, I don't know what you've. But she's saying, like, my taste bud,

A (36:33)

like, our way off.

B (36:34)

Yeah, yeah. So whatever.

A (36:38)

Are all of your brothers and sisters from your one mom and dad?

B (36:42)

Yeah, my dad won at 12 and she hit 10. She hit 10. And then after 10, he left. So she's a single mom. Well, damn. Even worse. Yeah. And I, I told you her sister had 10 kids too. But those stay, they stayed together. Their parents stayed together.

A (37:04)

What number are you?

B (37:05)

I'm number eight. I'm at the bottom. Yeah, I'm just a baby. Wow. Yeah. I was such a little tomboy with my brother. Like, it was so they were like, oh, she's gonna be a lesbian for sure. That's what my older brothers would say. As I was like, Cause you know what, like boys take their shirt off and tuck it in the back of their jeans or whatever shorts when they're playing. I did that. I thought it was okay. And my mother was like, get in here. But I was 7 or 8, you know, and then, I mean, I started smoking when I was nine. Like I was problematic.

A (37:42)

Oh my goodness.

B (37:43)

Terrible, terrible child.

A (37:46)

Have you ever wanted kids?

B (37:48)

I did. I, I, People always ask, like, don't you, what about your biological clock? And I think mine ticked and talked real quick. Like it, I, I, my best friend had a kid in high school. Most of my friends had their kids kids in high school or right out of high school. Like, no one. And I went to an all girl Catholic school. Everybody was pregnant.

A (38:09)

Wow.

B (38:09)

I was like, this can't all be the immaculate conception, you guys, you guys are wild out. Like somebody's bringing something in. And, but it was weird. Like, my mom was like, oh, you go, you have to go to a Catholic school and an all girl. That'll keep her, you know, calm. They were worse than the boys. They were great. Like, I loved it. They got more trouble in there than anywhere. But of course everybody was pregnant. So my best friend, she was 16, almost 15, and she got pregnant and kept it crazy, but catholic. And so I don't, I don't know, I would have probably done the same. And when she had the baby, her they were really. Her mom and dad didn't drive. They didn't have cars. So my brother Jimmy had to take us to the hospital. Yeah, it was crazy. So Jimmy drove us and her mom. I remember she had the white flag out the window. I was like, what's that for? She goes, it lets them know we're in a hurry. We're cutting people off. My friend's screaming. Screaming. I just remember she had high socks on and a long shirt and her underwear. And she's screaming. This is a child, technically a 16 year old in labor. And she wouldn't let go of my hands. And so I saw her have this baby and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm not gonna. I'm good. I'm not gonna do this one. I'm a tag out of this. I'll fight a bear. You want me to fight a bear? That's fine. I'm not. No. No way. Yeah, you see that? And I was. I was like, they should show that in school. Yeah. Two kids. Because listen, she's great with her kids. They're still. That's my godson, you know, it's. They're. He's grown, obviously, but they grew up together. Yeah. And yeah, they're still very, very close. That's amazing. All my friends that had their kids young are still insanely close with their kids. And yeah, they're usually very close to the grandma because the grandmom helps out. Right. And which is same in my case. When my. My dad left, my grandma had to step in, you know, because my mom had a. Like, my dad owned a typewriter store. I don't mean the brag, but, sorry, guys, that's my dowry. And. But yeah, it's. So he didn't make a lot of money.

A (40:38)

It's wild that he left at 10 kids.

B (40:40)

Unbelievable. What did he. Where did he go? What did he do? I don't think I'm. Oh, he only moved a couple blocks away. Like we used to see him.

A (40:48)

We just need some space. That's so wild.

B (40:53)

Yeah, he's. And the typewriter store was like a couple blocks away. And then he moved with his girlfriend a few blocks closer.

A (41:01)

How did he have time for anything else?

B (41:05)

Because he just wasn't involved. My mom did everything. She's a superwoman. She's a superhero. And it's crazy because my parents are both still alive and I'm very close with both of them. And my dad will, to this day, like, and always has said, your mom did everything over there. Like, he. Like that guilt Kind of creeps up on him kind of thing. Good. Like he. And he knows, you know, like, well, your mom did a good job over there with you guys. Like, he knows he wasn't involved really. So he doesn't. Yeah, it's. He doesn't say. And he just turned 90 and we had a, like a party for him and the one of his caretakers was like, whoa. All these, these are all his kid. Like, they're all here. Wow. How come they don't visit? Well, he kind of tagged out on them early, so.

A (41:55)

Geez.

B (41:56)

But he, he's in. He's like two hours away. Yeah. In Delaware. So it's, it's kind of hard for everybody to get there. If he was closer, we might visit more.

A (42:05)

But are you guys all like one year apart?

B (42:08)

We're 15 years apart from eldest to youngest. And the wildest part is that my mom took two and a half years off. So yeah, we're all on top of each other. Like I used to do a joke about us pushing each other out.

A (42:20)

Yeah,

B (42:25)

just get out. Like we were already fighting in there. Yeah.

A (42:28)

Think about.

B (42:29)

Yeah. And the Irish twin being Billy were very close in age. Yeah. Jimmy and Kathleen are very close in age. Yeah. So they're like. And then the bottom is where it like staggers a bit. Like a year and a couple months, you know?

A (42:45)

Yeah. Which is like nothing.

B (42:47)

No, no, it's absolutely not. I remember my mom and my aunts used to go to the same gynecologist. And my aunt Suzanne only had three kids and they used. Every time my mom or my aunt Joy got pregnant, they would, the doctor would say, why don't you do what Suzanne's doing? 3. And then my mom say, well, she doesn't like her husband.

A (43:12)

Oh my goodness.

B (43:14)

And yeah, so they only had three. But my grandmom was like orphaned at a very early age. So her goal was to have like a tight knit family that everybody knows each other. Because she didn't know who her father was. Her mom died at childbirth, like having. Giving birth to her little brother or something. I'm not, I'm not. It's all unclear. But because it was unclear to my grandma, mom. You know what I mean? So. So she didn't know who her real parents were. She was raised by her fraternal grandparents and she was like, I want a family, like a big family. So she had four kids and 27 grandchildren. And then 35 great grands when she passed in 2005. All right.

A (44:01)

Is your family very tight knit?

B (44:03)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she got that like 10 toes and one sock. Like you can't. And that's how we slept too.

A (44:10)

So in a two and a half bedroom house.

B (44:12)

Yeah. We had a triple bunk and at the bottom it had a mattress you pull out. And that's where I slept. And then we had a double bunk, which we were excited about because it had drawers. So we were like, we're rich. And then a single bed. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was on. I slept at the bottom. Three five. Yep.

A (44:34)

That's so.

B (44:35)

It was wild, but it was fun.

A (44:38)

Need help raising one?

B (44:40)

Well, yeah. It's funny because, like, my niece, she has two, and you look at her and she looks like she maybe just fought in Korea. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like. No, no, it's what's happening. And she's, you know, she's just disheveled. Yeah. Hey. Hi. You know, like, I'm just like wild adults. But she's doing it. But she's like, I know. I don't know how your mom.

A (45:01)

I couldn't imagine 10. That's so cool.

B (45:03)

And she has a tot. Like a two year old and now a eight month old. So it's like, wow, it's gonna be me. Six month old. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. Okay.

A (45:12)

Minor.

B (45:13)

Do you know what you're having now?

A (45:14)

Another boy.

B (45:15)

Okay.

A (45:15)

But they'll be like 17 months apart.

B (45:17)

Okay. But that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Because boys I like, I always say, are a little easier. Are they? They're just. They're easy. Because girls get more complicated late, like with.

A (45:33)

Oh, you mean a little bit later

B (45:35)

on, just with our.

A (45:36)

I am looking forward to that.

B (45:38)

Yeah. It's just like a little. Little bit of a break, you know where. Yeah. Girls need a little more. A lot more attention and need a lot more, you know, because we have

A (45:48)

to deal throwing my kid into like taekwondo and all these little sports and stuff.

B (45:53)

Do that to your daughter too, if you have a daughter. Yeah, yeah. Get her in taekwondo so she knows how to fight those little sh. Absolutely. You got it.

A (46:02)

Well, thank you for coming on the show.

B (46:04)

Sorry. We're okay. Thank you.

A (46:06)

This was how it flies.

B (46:08)

I love it.

A (46:08)

You'll have to come back. Yes, I will scratch the surface of. You're like, I need to know more about the Playboy Mansion.

B (46:16)

And when you were there. That was so much fun, so many times. And then one of my friends was a playmate, one of the seven blondes.

A (46:24)

Yeah.

B (46:24)

Yeah.

A (46:25)

That's so cool.

B (46:26)

It's the best.

A (46:27)

I need to know all about this.

B (46:28)

Yeah. We didn't even get into my wrestling background, so.

A (46:30)

Oh, my goodness. I need to learn all I can about the wwe.

B (46:35)

Okay. I didn't work for them. I worked for. Wow. Women of Wrestling.

A (46:38)

Oh, okay. I'll take it.

B (46:40)

It was a little lower level, but it was fun still.

A (46:43)

Well, where can people find you?

B (46:45)

Let me give them my address. So on social media, it's just E.J. kerrigan. Or you can put an Eleanor Kerrigan. It's going to come up. Not a lot of Eleanor's out there running around doing stand up. So I think there's two of us.

A (46:59)

That's awesome.

B (46:59)

So, yeah, so I'm all over social media, my website, Eleanor J. Kerrigan.

A (47:04)

Well, thank you.

B (47:05)

Thank you so much for having me.

A (47:06)

Thank you guys for watching another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time.

B (47:11)

First Date.

A (47:12)

Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner?

B (47:15)

First Date. I can't wait.

A (47:17)

You told your mom about me?

B (47:19)

Just say, you ready?

A (47:20)

Delete my number. First Date, your parents are your roommate.