He HATED His Wife at First… Now They’re Having a Baby w/ Justin Stagner | First Date

Summary

Podcast Summary: "He HATED His Wife at First… Now They’re Having a Baby w/ Justin Stagner"

Podcast: First Date with Lauren Compton (YMH Studios)
Release Date: May 19, 2026
Host: Lauren Compton
Guest: Justin Stagner (Comedian & Podcaster)

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Episode Overview

This episode of "First Date" features comedian and content creator Justin Stagner. Lauren and Justin embark on a candid, funny, and occasionally heartfelt conversation about love, marriage, Alabama culture, parenthood, and the hilarious (often wild) journey of dating and relationships. Justin unpacks his transformation from "hating" his now-wife to starting a family, and both hosts swap personal stories about family, questionable past romances, and the quirks of Southern living.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Justin’s Marriage & Family Journey

• Meeting His Wife

  • Justin met his wife through mutual friends who worked together as nurse practitioners.
  • Their first meeting wasn't exactly love at first sight — "I hated her by association initially… She came with somebody else, so I hated her by association" (Justin, 03:07).
  • Later, as fate would have it, they reconnected when both were single thanks to Facebook and a Saints game invitation.

• Quick Progression to Parenthood

  • Within three months of reconnecting, they were expecting their first child and got married.
  • Proposal wasn’t particularly dramatic: "I proposed in the kitchen… It wasn't like an airplane wrote her name in the sky" (Justin, 05:41).

• Parenting & Pregnancy Stories

  • After a seven-year gap between kids, they're now expecting their second child.
  • Ongoing joke about sharing the pregnancy experience: "This pregnancy has been easier on me. You know, every now and then, I'll wake up to the dry heaves" (Justin, 09:03).

• The Dynamics of Parenthood

  • Reflection on different approaches to age gaps between children and managing expectations for the new baby.

Southern Culture & Family Background

• Alabama Stereotypes & Realities

  • Justin candidly discusses the cultural duality in his family, with one side being “white trash” and the other side being "prominent senator’s son."
  • Southern pressures regarding marriage and children discussed: "In Alabama you get a job as soon as you can, you work it till you die" (Justin, 16:28).

• Funny Yet Real Family Anecdotes

  • Admission that some of his cousins actually married each other—a playful reinforcement and dispelling of Southern stereotypes.

Past Relationships & Dating Horrors

• Wild Relationship Stories
  • From toxic fights over tinfoil chicken in an Alabama trailer to dating a woman with hidden substance abuse issues and unique ghostly hallucinations.
  • "She said, 'I broke up with my ex because I walked in on him doing crack' and I’m like, 'Oh my god, that's awful.' And she said, 'I know, right? We have so much better stuff now.'" (Justin, 23:03)

Haunted Trailers and Paranormal Encounters

• Trailer Park Chronicles

  • Both hosts share bizarre trailer park stories: haunted houses, local ghosts, and strange events.
  • "I never did [believe in ghosts] until that trailer" (Justin, 30:25).
  • Tales of unexplained noises and shadowy figures that everyone eventually witnessed.

• Friendships Born from Drama

  • Lauren reveals she became friends (and still is) with the ex-girlfriend of a past trailer park flame, showing silver linings can sprout from messy situations.

Comedy, Career & Life as a Parent

• On Comedy & Touring

  • Justin prefers material over crowd work but recognizes crowd work’s popularity for content ("I should probably do that, but… I just don't have interest," 40:20).
  • His comedy ranges from Alabama family history to world history jokes.

• Favorite Places to Perform

  • Zany’s in Nashville is a favorite due to its history and supportive crowd.

• Comparisons of Parenting Accessories

  • Lively discussion about the transition from baby wipes to Dude Wipes, and how parenting changes your purse/backpack contents.

Parenting, Pregnancy & Body Image

• Body Image Talk

  • Both discuss weight gain during partner pregnancy, gym routines, and Southern food temptations ("My wife is still in the gym every day… I used to be in great shape," Justin, 45:16).

• Food, Southern Habits & Family Influence

  • Cornbread with every meal, fried chicken, and pizza are highlighted as diet staples, with warm recollections of how grandmothers express love through overfeeding.

Gifts & Relationship Highlights

• Thoughtful Gifts
  • Justin credits his best gift to his wife as "Her boobs, probably" (49:03), explaining with comic timing that it’s truly a present for both of them.
  • His favorite gift from his wife was a commissioned oil painting of him and his son, praising her consideration.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On First Impressions & Meeting His Wife
  • "No, I hated her by association for a little while, and then we were both single again... And then I married her." (Justin, 03:15)
• Justin on Southern Expectations
  • "If you get a good job at like 20, you've got more money than you've ever had in your life. In Alabama, you work that job till you die." (16:28)
• On Fried Chicken and Cornbread
  • "My grandma’s only job is to feed you till you die." (Justin, 46:40)
• Trailer Park Paranormal
  • "I never did [believe in ghosts] until that trailer." (Justin, 30:25)
• Best Gift to Wife
  • "Her boobs, probably. I mean, that’s top of the list." (49:03)
• Dating Perspective
  • "Everybody’s got the toxic stories of their youth." (Justin, 24:58)
• On Alabama’s Reputation
  • "At first I thought we were just fucking them, but no, they’re marrying them down there." (Justin, 18:52)

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Important Timestamps

• Meeting & Hating His Wife: 02:49 – 03:19
• Family Expectations Around Marriage: 04:59 – 06:13
• Having Kids & Parenting Reflections: 09:02 – 09:55
• Miracle Baby & PCOS: 15:14 – 15:26
• Past Messy Relationships & Substance Abuse Story: 21:24 – 24:04
• Haunted Trailer Story: 30:07 – 32:28
• Comedy & Touring Preferences: 39:31 – 40:37
• Naming Children Discussion: 41:16 – 43:51
• Pregnancy & Body Image: 44:46 – 46:46
• Southern Food, Family & Sports: 46:33 – 47:56
• Best/Worst Gift Conversation: 49:03 – 50:04

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The Vibe & Tone

Lauren and Justin maintain a candid, easygoing, and consistently hilarious tone, weaving together raw honesty with quick-witted banter. Stories range from “trailer-trash” dating misadventures to sweet tales of family and partnership—always delivered with self-deprecation and warmth.

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Final Thoughts

If you love unfiltered explorations of love lives, parenting, and Southern quirks, this episode is packed with laughter, relatability, and surprising warmth beneath the jokes. Justin’s journey from “I hated her by association” to building a family—and all the misadventures in between—makes for engaging listening, bridging the raw and the real of modern dating and marriage.

Transcript

[Justin Stagner]

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[First Date Host]

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[Justin Stagner]

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[First Date Host]

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[Justin Stagner]

I can work with them.

[First Date Host]

This should be tons of fun.

[Justin Stagner]

Marvel television's Daredevil born again now streaming only on Disney.

[First Date Host]

I'm sorry. So excited to see you tonight. First date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First date. What is up, you guys? Thank you for watching another episode of first date. My guest today is a comic. He's a content creator. He has a podcast called the southern Saturday. You can get tickets to see him perform pretty much anywhere@justin stagner.com. give it up for Justin Stagner.

[Justin Stagner]

Thank you. I'm gonna go ahead and apologize for my voice. It's not all the way back.

[First Date Host]

What do you mean?

[Justin Stagner]

I got. I got like a cold about two weeks ago and my voice has just never came back from it.

[First Date Host]

Well, that's cool. I always feel like when I get a cold, my voice gets sexier.

[Justin Stagner]

Well, yeah, that's the thing with. With women. It is. You sing songs and.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, it sounds like I smoke a pack a day.

[Justin Stagner]

Exactly.

[First Date Host]

Just a little raspier.

[Justin Stagner]

It's one of those things, man. Cigarettes are one of those things. Even if you've never smoked, when you've got that cold voice, you're just like, okay.

[First Date Host]

There's something beneath that. Well, I'm glad you're here. I'm feeling better.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, no, I feel fine. It's just my voice is going.

[First Date Host]

Okay, well, then speak up.

[Justin Stagner]

I'm fine.

[First Date Host]

So on our date today, we're gonna talk about your dating life.

[Justin Stagner]

Love it.

[First Date Host]

Are you married?

[Justin Stagner]

I am.

[First Date Host]

How long have you been married?

[Justin Stagner]

Seven years.

[First Date Host]

Ooh. Any itches? They say you have a seven year itch sometimes.

[Justin Stagner]

No, I don't think so. I think we've kept it fresh enough with her getting pregnant again.

[First Date Host]

Again?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

How many is this?

[Justin Stagner]

This'll be two.

[First Date Host]

Okay. How old is the first one?

[Justin Stagner]

Seven.

[First Date Host]

Oh, wow.

[Justin Stagner]

While we got married.

[First Date Host]

Okay, I see.

[Justin Stagner]

We were like, same month. Three. Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Wow.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, yeah.

[First Date Host]

So it was early on.

[Justin Stagner]

First time my mom met my wife, we were like, she's pregnant. Yeah.

[First Date Host]

What did your mom say?

[Justin Stagner]

She was like, yes.

[First Date Host]

She was so happy.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. I've been bacheloring it up for a while. I think she was kind of thinking that it was never going to happen.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you meet your wife?

[Justin Stagner]

My buddy is also. They're both nurse practitioners and they work together, so. She used to work with my best friend.

[First Date Host]

That's cool.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And how did he introduce you to her?

[Justin Stagner]

We all went out to a dinner one time and she came with somebody else, so I hated her by association initially.

[First Date Host]

You didn't like the person she was with?

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, no, no.

[First Date Host]

Was it a girl?

[Justin Stagner]

No, it was a dude.

[First Date Host]

She came with another guy?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is. This is. This is how I met her. It's not how we started dating.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

That was. That's the first time I met her, though.

[First Date Host]

Okay, so you went to dinner and it. And she brought along a guy.

[Justin Stagner]

Right.

[First Date Host]

And it. So it was you and her and the guy?

[Justin Stagner]

No, it's like a. It was like a birthday dinner for a mutual friend.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

20 people there.

[First Date Host]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

It's not like I'm third wheeling.

[First Date Host]

That's what I was. I was like, this is not starting well.

[Justin Stagner]

No, no, no. I don't know if I'd have recovered from that.

[First Date Host]

That would be. That would be hard to come back from.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. But no. Hated her by association for a little while, and then we were both single again a few years later and happened to be again. So she was taken with that. The guy that she came with. Oh, the guy she was dating.

[First Date Host]

Oh, I thought it was just a friend that she came with.

[Justin Stagner]

No, no, no. You know when you hate somebody, like, they can't do anything, right? And even. Even the people they bring, they can't even eat a cracker. Right? Like, you just hate everything that they do.

[First Date Host]

It's like the way they.

[Justin Stagner]

I was like, who is this? Like that.

[First Date Host]

And then.

[Justin Stagner]

And then I married her.

[First Date Host]

And so how long between then to when she was single did you guys meet up again?

[Justin Stagner]

I would say like a year or so. It was. It was a long time.

[First Date Host]

So you got over your hatred?

[Justin Stagner]

Definitely.

[First Date Host]

And how did you guys reconnect?

[Justin Stagner]

Saw her own. Like, you know how Facebook will be? Like, you've got 56 mutual friends with this person. Back when I used to have a regular Facebook, and it was her. And we got to talking, and there was a NFL Saints game coming up, and she's like, I'm gonna have some people over to watch the game. So I went over her house to watch the game, and that's how we started dating.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And three months later.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And then you proposed. How did you propose?

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, it's not a. It's not a romantic story. I was like, ah, you know, I told my grandpa when I called him, I went, told him that my, my grandpa was really old school Southern, prominent. Like they grew up in like a country club south. It's so crazy because my, my grandpa on my other side, it's just like white trash, low level, like redneck. And then my other grandpa's like, prominent senator son. So when I called the prominent one to tell him that we were pregnant, I was like, hey, you know, I met this girl Courtney, she's pregnant. He said, great, when's the wedding? That's exactly how he said it.

[First Date Host]

That's how my mom reacted.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. So I proposed in the kitchen. Like, it was just. I mean, I got her a nice ring.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

But it wasn't. It wasn't like an airplane wrote her name in the sky or anything like that.

[First Date Host]

But my mom was the same way whenever. Cause I wasn't married, but I had been with my boyfriend for almost three years.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, yeah, that's three years is what it trumps. Three months.

[First Date Host]

But still she was like, so when are you getting married?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And I was just like, as soon as possible.

[Justin Stagner]

Where are y' all from?

[First Date Host]

I'm from Dallas.

[Justin Stagner]

So is it a Southern thing? Is that why she's like, so when are you getting married?

[First Date Host]

She's just a Bible thumper, right?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, same.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. She's just. Everything's got to be like, so by the book. And I really wanted to get married too, but. But not because the Bible says so.

[Justin Stagner]

Right.

[First Date Host]

Just cuz I say so.

[Justin Stagner]

I got you.

[First Date Host]

You know, I was like, this guy's not. You're going to. I'm not going to be a baby mama.

[Justin Stagner]

Well, I was like. I was one of those things where it's like, well, if she has the baby and we're not married, will I ever ask her to marry me? That type of thing. Like, I don't.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

I feel like I would just settle in that parenthood. And then I would never have just been like, you know what? I need to go get a $8,000 ring tomorrow. I don't think. I don't think I would have.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. Yeah. I was laying in bed last night and I kept thinking about the fact that my husband doesn't wear a wedding ring. I never got him one. Do you wear one rubber? Okay. A lot of men. That's. A lot of guys are going that way.

[Justin Stagner]

I was still mill for 13 years, so it was a habit and I just never broke it.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, I've never thought to get him a ring because I was like, I just want one for me.

[Justin Stagner]

Sure.

[First Date Host]

To show that I didn't just get knocked up.

[Justin Stagner]

You're right. I feel that.

[First Date Host]

And I never think about. And he got me at a good time. Because when you're pregnant, you don't remember. I can't remember anything. And so I keep forgetting to make him wear a ring. And I'm like, I don't think it really matters. He hates. He doesn't wear jewelry anyway.

[Justin Stagner]

I don't neither. I mean, this. It takes a long time to get used to too.

[First Date Host]

Ball and chain.

[Justin Stagner]

Right. Exactly. Which this rubber one is. I don't. I still don't think I could do a metal one. I think it would drive me crazy.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. Well, his twin brother wears a rubber one too.

[Justin Stagner]

Identical.

[First Date Host]

Fraternal.

[Justin Stagner]

Okay. But do they look alike?

[First Date Host]

Kind of. They have similar features, but they're different.

[Justin Stagner]

You're never gonna mix them up.

[First Date Host]

Oh, no, you're right.

[Justin Stagner]

I got you.

[First Date Host]

No, and their personalities are completely different too.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. No, I'm just talking on site. Usually twins are polar opposites.

[First Date Host]

They are.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

[Justin Stagner]

Yes, I've got one full brother. Then a half brother, half sister.

[First Date Host]

Okay. Yeah. How far apart are you and your brother?

[Justin Stagner]

Me and my real brother are two years apart. So we're like best friends now. That's fought our whole life. Best friends now.

[First Date Host]

Really?

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, yeah.

[First Date Host]

When did you guys become best friends?

[Justin Stagner]

Adulthood for sure.

[First Date Host]

I'm so. You know, I keep asking all the people that I know. They're 18 months apart.

[Justin Stagner]

No, there's going to be hell. I'm worried that this. Cuz, dude, our first son was so easy.

[First Date Host]

Oh.

[Justin Stagner]

I just know this one's going to be a nightmare.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, he is. It's going to be terrible because they're. They always say that the first and the second are very different.

[Justin Stagner]

Right. I'm glad they're not close. At least the 7 year old could help.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Cuz I think we're all in for a show.

[First Date Host]

Uhhuh.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. It's going to be terrible. It is. It is. And this pregnancy has been. It's been easier on me. You know, Every now and then I'll wake up to the dry heaves. The dry heaves wake me up sometimes, but for the most part I'm handling it in stride.

[First Date Host]

Well, I'm glad it's so easy for you.

[Justin Stagner]

It is, It's.

[First Date Host]

I'm glad. Can't even talk.

[Justin Stagner]

Like she's over there and she's like, I can't breathe and I'm Like, I'm breathing fine.

[First Date Host]

I like how you say we're pregnant, Right? Yeah. Guys always like to have to tap in, like you have anything other to do with it.

[Justin Stagner]

We did the initial three minutes the other night. This is a. We think we're in it together.

[First Date Host]

What do you do that makes her feel like you're in it together?

[Justin Stagner]

I really let her know whenever she's acting up over there, you know, when she's starting to get louder. Lots of complain a lot, a little bit of whining. You know, if she was alone, she would just be speaking to the wall.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

You have to really remind her. No, she's. She's. This pregnancy has been better on her. The first one, she was sick for, like, the whole time.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

So this one, she was only sick, like, first trimester. Really?

[First Date Host]

Your first one is a girl or a boy?

[Justin Stagner]

Boy. This next one's a boy.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, they want. They all wanted a girl.

[First Date Host]

Who's they? Oh, like my son and her. Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

And I told her, I was like, look, if I have a girl, I just hope. If I did have a girl, I hope she would just be so ugly that only I could love her. That type of thing, you know?

[First Date Host]

That's fair.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. Like a Marla Hooch. Yeah. I mean, I just don't think I'd handle that well.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. My son's in a little, like, gym class once a week.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And it's just. It's like a 45 minute or an hour thing. And he never really associates with the other kids. He's just on his own. He's 13 months and he's in gym class. Oh, yeah. He does obstacle courses or they do obstacle courses. And he runs and goes and climbs. Something else on the side. Yeah, he's not that focused on what everyone else is doing. But anyway, the. Yes. When was it the last time? I was. Whenever I went last, I was helping him up a little mat so that he could, like, do the obstacle course. It's kind of like wrangling cheetah.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Like, it's really hard to do. And so I try to get him to, like, do what everyone else is doing. And this sweet little girl that was maybe like four or five months older than him turns around and puts her hand out, and he takes her hand and stands up. And I'm like, back off.

[Justin Stagner]

That's right.

[First Date Host]

You are too young.

[Justin Stagner]

That is right.

[First Date Host]

Don't be. And then he, like, held her hand for a second. Oh, my gosh. I was like,

[Justin Stagner]

I'm losing him.

[First Date Host]

I'M losing my son.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, it happens early.

[First Date Host]

Oh, he's not even two. And like some little girls, like, be my boyfriend.

[Justin Stagner]

But see, I feel like you're doing it right. I wish. I wish we could have got lucky enough to get pregnant again that quick because I feel like we're so far removed from diapers. Oh yeah, all this is a fresh start. Yeah, like you're just gonna feel like that. You just never got out of it.

[First Date Host]

Right. That's why. That's the main reason why.

[Justin Stagner]

Well, that was our plan. It just didn't happen.

[First Date Host]

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[Justin Stagner]

So the first kid, her getting pregnant is kind of like a. Almost like a miracle baby. Like they told her she had like a 25% chance of getting pregnant. Why PCOS and.

[First Date Host]

Oh, I have pcos.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. Like just all these things that they listed and it ended up happening and then took seven years, happened again. Like we, I mean, we tried the whole time, pretty much didn't like keep up with it calculated or any of that stuff, but just never quit.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Preventing. Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Well, it's nice that your first son is seven because he really is going to be so.

[Justin Stagner]

He's going to be awful.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, that's. And he's so nice.

[Justin Stagner]

He's pumped about it.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. And you can communicate with him like what's going on and a little jealous.

[Justin Stagner]

No, you did it the right way, I'm telling you.

[First Date Host]

So before her, were you in a lot of relationships?

[Justin Stagner]

Unfortunately, yes. I mean, looking back at it, I was just a wild child a little bit. Yeah. I mean, I got a good job as far as like Alabama goes. Like, you know, if in your. In Alabama you get a job as soon as you can, you work it till you die.

[First Date Host]

Is that where you're from?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. You don't quit that good job. You work that job till you die. So if you get a good job at like 20, you've got more money than you've ever had in your life. It's still, it's not a lot what

[First Date Host]

is considered a good job.

[Justin Stagner]

So like any plant job or like a construction job, like working somewhere that's got good benefits and insurance and like

[First Date Host]

to me, a good job in Alabama would be Waffle House.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. I mean it. We don't do ourselves any favors either. But no, waffles is a great place to eat.

[First Date Host]

Oh, I love Waffle House.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. I mean, I only go to Waffle

[First Date Host]

Houses that have one star.

[Justin Stagner]

Right.

[First Date Host]

If they have like three or more. I'm concerned.

[Justin Stagner]

Direct correlation between how nasty it is,

[First Date Host]

how good your food. I want my chef to look like he is cracking out.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. He's screaming.

[First Date Host]

I don't want anyone that works there to serve me with more than one tooth.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. I want like, have you heard that Old joke. It's like, what has six tits and two teeth and all this? And it's like the night shift at Waffles.

[First Date Host]

No, that's. That, like, Waffle House has got to be my favorite breakfast establishment.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, yeah. I. I tell a whole bit about this. If you're. If Waffle House has. If the health department number has a 9 in it, it better have a 7 in front of that. That's the only way that you're supposed to eat there.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

And you should have one question when you stand up. Should I? Here at home, the answer is always there.

[First Date Host]

I always tip them really well, too.

[Justin Stagner]

You should.

[First Date Host]

It's so cheap. It's the cheapest meal ever. And I.

[Justin Stagner]

So much food.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, it's great. The All Star special.

[Justin Stagner]

I love your. It's. It's. So Alabama is the only state in the south that has, like, the. It just comes with the stereotypes. Like, the south in general has it. But then Alabama by itself, like, we're the dumbest. Marry our cousins, all these things.

[First Date Host]

Like, do you know anybody that's married? Their cousins?

[Justin Stagner]

I have cousins that are married.

[First Date Host]

No, you don't.

[Justin Stagner]

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

[First Date Host]

Do they have kids?

[Justin Stagner]

Yes. Not retarded. They're fun.

[First Date Host]

Are you just being biased?

[Justin Stagner]

No.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

No, no. We were worried, but they came out fine.

[First Date Host]

Okay. That's wild. So that's not just a rumor. I mean, you guys are really fucking,

[Justin Stagner]

but I don't see. At first I thought we were just fucking them, but no, they're marrying them down there. Wow. But if it makes you feel any better, like, the normal Alabama people are still, like, shaming those Alabama people. Everybody's like, you're not helping.

[First Date Host]

But you did say that part of your family is white trash, right? Is that the part that got married?

[Justin Stagner]

I mean, you nailed it. Hey, the prominent country club side doesn't have any that's got that going on.

[First Date Host]

A senator's son. Family's not marrying each other.

[Justin Stagner]

They might have hid some abortions or something over the years, but nothing is low class as marrying your cousin.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. How did. How did you get a prominent side and a trashy side?

[Justin Stagner]

So divorce happened on the prominent side. The mom moves down to Mobile and takes the daughter, which is my mom. And she's like, I'm going to hang out with the trash kids a little bit, like.

[First Date Host]

And she fell in love there.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

[First Date Host]

Okay. And let's see, where do you live now?

[Justin Stagner]

I'm still in Alabama.

[First Date Host]

Oh, wow. You haven't left?

[Justin Stagner]

No. I mean, I leave all the time, but unfortunately I got back.

[First Date Host]

Do you like living there?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. Because Mobile is not like the rest of Alabama. Like, Mobile's on the bay. We have the beaches and everything. The rest of Alabama is, like, landlocked. You got your weird rednecks that blame everything on the government and all that stuff. And Mobile's not like that. It's different.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Do you have a type as far as, like, when.

[First Date Host]

Yes.

[Justin Stagner]

Yes. Dark, brunette. Always. Always have.

[First Date Host]

Do you? What? Do you have any horror stories from dating? Can you think of, like, the worst date you've ever been on?

[Justin Stagner]

Worst date? I don't know about date, but I can tell you the worst relationship that I was ever in. I was, like, 18, 19. I bought myself a trailer to keep that Alabama stereotype alive. Did that right off the bat. And it was. Dude, it was just one of these toxic relationships. Were, like, fought about everything. And I remember the. The thing that we broke up was she didn't, like, how was folding the tinfoil to put it in the oven to cook the chicken. We're fighting in a trailer in Alabama about how to do the tinfoil on the chicken.

[First Date Host]

How do you put 10?

[Justin Stagner]

I mean, she was barefooted, too. You know, we had it going on.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. I've never cooked it. I'm just. Okay, I gotta get over the tinfoil chicken thing as well. I feel like I'm siding with psycho girl.

[Justin Stagner]

Full bipolar.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

It's a nightmare.

[First Date Host]

But you were in a trailer and it's like, why are you bitching about tinfoil?

[Justin Stagner]

Right. You know?

[First Date Host]

Yeah. And that was the end of that. That was the worst.

[Justin Stagner]

No, I mean, probably. I don't know. It's been a. I can't think of the worst date I've ever been on. I don't know. I've been through a lot of crazy like that. Random fights and. Oh, dude, this. There was this one girl that I used to date. This is the. This is the worst. This is the worst. And this is one of those things where you realize you're in two parts of life. You're in two very different walks of life. This girl that I was dating, she's telling me she hid very well that she had some substance abuse issues. Like, we would just go out every now and then, and I'd be like, damn. She, like, drank a lot tonight. Got kind of got blacked out. She was like, I'm just a mom. I never get to get out. And you're like, okay, that's cool. You know, everybody cuts loose every now and then. And then you start realizing it's happening every weekend. And then she's telling me about her ex boyfriend. And this is how I realized we were in two different walks of life. She had already broke it to me that she used to be on heroin. And she's like, I'm sober now. And I was like, I think you mean that you're just replacing it with alcohol. I'm watching this happen in real life.

[First Date Host]

And she was a mom.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

She would drink this in Alabama.

[Justin Stagner]

She would drink till she was blackout drunk and wake up and be like, I need some wine.

[First Date Host]

I thought she was going to say water.

[Justin Stagner]

No, say, that's what a normal person would say. Be like, I need to recover. My head hurts.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

So she's telling me a story about her ex boyfriend and she says, yeah, and I broke up with him because I walked in and he was doing crack. And I had like a typical reaction. I was like, oh my God, you know, that's awful. And she was like, I know, right? We have so much better stuff now.

[First Date Host]

She's like, he didn't even offer me any.

[Justin Stagner]

Right. She's like, can you believe he's doing crack?

[First Date Host]

Dastard.

[Justin Stagner]

We have fentanyl and he's doing crack Wild. It was. It was one of those things where your eyes just open up and you're like, what the fuck am I doing?

[First Date Host]

So where do you. Where do you find these gremlins, dude?

[Justin Stagner]

So like that was one of those things where it's like, girl you went to high school with, you remember being hot, that type of thing. And then you just realize you don't know these people as adults.

[First Date Host]

Right.

[Justin Stagner]

Right. You don't realize what happened in that 10 year gap since high school. You find it out along the way.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

When she's telling you about her Walgreens heroin addiction.

[First Date Host]

That's just so wild.

[Justin Stagner]

It is.

[First Date Host]

Have you always dated trailer trash?

[Justin Stagner]

No. My wife now is like the best I've ever had.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, she's the nurse practitioner. She has a real job. You guys live in a real house?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

I'm just wondering. I'm wondering where we're at.

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know if you meant that as condescending as it came off.

[First Date Host]

I'm just asking questions. I don't mean for it to come

[Justin Stagner]

off as good at all. No, you're not. Look, yes, yes, we're.

[First Date Host]

I just need to know.

[Justin Stagner]

No, we're there. We're there.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

I didn't always. I'm just tell you asked for the worst of the worst. I'm picking out the trash ones and telling you.

[First Date Host]

No, I really appreciate that.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah.

[First Date Host]

Because obviously the ones that are gonna suck the most are gonna be the ones that are probably trashy.

[Justin Stagner]

Right? Yeah, of course.

[First Date Host]

But they're also sort of fun, right? Yeah, it's.

[Justin Stagner]

Everybody's got the toxic stories of their youth.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. I feel like I did. You know, I went. I dated a guy that lived in a trailer.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Park once.

[Justin Stagner]

So you know, this was a trailer park. I've never been trailer park.

[First Date Host]

It was a trailer park.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, I know, I'm. I know, but that's different.

[First Date Host]

This was bad. And I actually thought he was the bee's knees.

[Justin Stagner]

Did they have like padlocks on their mailboxes and that?

[First Date Host]

I don't know. I only went over to this trailer park park once cuz it scared me. Like this is terrifying. And it was in high school and. And he had a girlfriend and I didn't know. I was about to say that he had a girlfriend. And I actually thought so I went to see a high school play. I went to a public school for about a year and a half and this. I wanted to be in the theater program and I went to a play and there was. The lead actor was phenomenal. And I kind of. It was like the. The limelight just struck me and I was like, who is that? And he was attractive and he just had so much personality. And I was like, I want to know this guy. And so I sought him out.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And then he had a girlfriend that he was with for a long time. And I cannot remember if he dated both of us at the same time or he broke up with her and then dated me immediately. But we only dated for a couple weeks and this girl that he was dating found out who I was and cornered me in one of the hallways and was like, you stole my boyfriend. And I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Who are you? And so we had this whole conversation and I told her, I was like, look, I don't even like the guy that much. He lives in a trailer park. I don't know if you know that, but this is like not the guy for me. And he's also kind of weird and he's like, also pressing himself like on me. And I don't appreciate that. So you can have him back.

[Justin Stagner]

So this, the leading man was trailer six?

[First Date Host]

He was. Yes. And.

[Justin Stagner]

And he was probably chanting a lot of the shit he's seen.

[First Date Host]

Oh, I'm sure he had been through it. Hard. Oh, of course.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

So we ended up breaking up and I became really good friends with her.

[Justin Stagner]

Okay.

[First Date Host]

And to this day, she even came to my baby shower and like, this is like how long goes in our house? Like 15 years.

[Justin Stagner]

Wow.

[First Date Host]

And so we've been like buds ever since. So I became really, really, really close with her.

[Justin Stagner]

It's like a real trauma bond. Y' all had a.

[First Date Host]

It was my only trauma bond. I don't think I've ever become friends with anyone. That.

[Justin Stagner]

And that was your only trailer park experience. Wow. That's actually a good one.

[First Date Host]

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[Justin Stagner]

No, it's. It's as. It's as good as it gets.

[First Date Host]

He did tell me a story about how this is sad and don't post this, but you can keep it in the podcast. He did keep tell me a story about how his dad committed suicide in that trailer.

[Justin Stagner]

Jesus. My trailer was haunted.

[First Date Host]

So was his, but you tell me about yours.

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know if you're being serious. I know you're being serious. Suicide.

[First Date Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

But was it haunted?

[First Date Host]

Oh.

[Justin Stagner]

First of all, do you believe in that? Any of that?

[First Date Host]

Things that are haunted?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. Like. Or paranormal?

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

I never did until that trailer.

[First Date Host]

I do. I. I had a weird haunted experience around that trailer park area, too.

[Justin Stagner]

Usually. What does it. Usually. What makes you believe in it? Yeah, that was probably just a local crackhead, though.

[First Date Host]

Probably.

[Justin Stagner]

But in mine also, I guess could have been a local crackhead if he was really little. This trailer, I would be outside on the. I used to smoke cigarettes. I'd be outside on the steps smoking. And it would sound like somebody ran from one end of the trailer through the other, like, stomping, like, as hard as they could run.

[First Date Host]

And there was no one in there.

[Justin Stagner]

No one. And so I'm telling my brothers about this, and they're like, you're full of. And I was like, all right, one of these nights, y' all are gonna see it. So we're up there playing video games. I'm like 20, and I'm outside smoking. And I remember looking at their face while I'm smoking. It happens behind me. And I was like. They were like, holy. And then one day, I'm going in there. I had moved out. I'm in. I'm living with Courtney, but I'm going back to get stuff to. You know, as you're moving, you just get boxes at a time. So I'm going back, and I go to walk in the bedroom. And as I open the bedroom door, it just sounds like somebody's fallen all over all the furniture.

[First Date Host]

Oh, my gosh.

[Justin Stagner]

And I cut on the light. Nobody's there.

[First Date Host]

So what do you do?

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know. I mean, it's almost like he was sitting in there. And I opened the door, and he's

[First Date Host]

like, you know, he's like, he's back.

[Justin Stagner]

I thought he left and he was. Nobody was there. Now, I tell people all the time, he. Nothing ever happened. No, he didn't suck my toes in the middle of the night or nothing, anything like that. I just heard this person all the time. And the last thing that happened before somebody came and bought that trailer and moved it, my dad lived like, three acres above me, and he sees a silhouette in my glass sliding door. And he's like, well, Justin's already moved out. Somebody's broke into that house. So he watches this silhouette as he walks all the way down there with his gun, opens the door, searches the whole trailer. Nobody's there.

[First Date Host]

I wonder how this stuff happened. Did. Was this a brand new trailer when you bought it?

[Justin Stagner]

No. So who knows what happened, you know?

[First Date Host]

So there could have been a past life.

[Justin Stagner]

Exactly. But what I'm wondering is, what are these spirits or demons Doing? They're like, God damn it, if they move my trailer, I'm going with it.

[First Date Host]

I'll tell you what, If I grow up in a trailer and I die in a trailer, I sure as hell I'm not spending the rest of my.

[Justin Stagner]

Right. Go haunt the Playboy Mansion.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Are you doing.

[First Date Host]

I'm gonna go somewhere really big and nice and I'm gonna haunt that place.

[Justin Stagner]

This is my damn right.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

This is where I smoke my cigarettes.

[First Date Host]

You get out. Yeah, I mean, I'm not staying in the trailer park.

[Justin Stagner]

He never haunted me. It's almost like we were just chill roommates.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Every now and then he had to pee real bad and just come running through there.

[First Date Host]

That's crazy. I get that.

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know. That's the only paranormal experience I've ever had. Now, I did date a girl one time who swore that she always saw the same guy.

[First Date Host]

Like a ghost.

[Justin Stagner]

So, like a profile of a guy, he was always wearing the same outfit for her whole lifetime. And she had an imaginary kit, imaginary friend when she was little, so that's probably who the fuck it was. And this guy's just like, I don't know, her guardian angel or something.

[First Date Host]

I mean, that's a very.

[Justin Stagner]

He never aged or anything.

[First Date Host]

Positive way to look at it.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, the guy never aged or anything. She'd see him on job sites. She'd see him in all these random places, always his profile, never looking at her, same outfit.

[First Date Host]

And how did that make you feel?

[Justin Stagner]

Like she was crazy.

[First Date Host]

But at least she was consistent with the fact that it was the same guy.

[Justin Stagner]

She used to call me sometimes, like 2 or 3 in the morning and be like, just, just. Just talk to me for a second. And I'd be like, what's going on? She's like, I don't want to tell you. All right, good night. And she'd hang back up, and she ended up telling me later, she's like, I just kept seeing him.

[First Date Host]

And what?

[Justin Stagner]

Look, the problem is in Alabama, they shut down all the mental hospitals and just let them out in the street. And I think I dated two or three of them.

[First Date Host]

You just ran into a couple of whacks.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, because, dude, I'm telling you, in Alabama, the mental. I don't know, you know, the US's mental health state's not great, but in Alabama, they literally were just like, well, funding's cut. Open up the mental hospitals and just let them go. So they just let them go. They were just walking the mental hospital there. You can still go up there a Lot of them didn't know to leave, so they're just walking around it. Like, why? They sell me my Skittles today.

[First Date Host]

Like, it's true. Oh, man. So I. That's. So let's fast forward. Let's fast forward. I love. I love the stories, though. Like, the stories are always kind of fun to talk about.

[Justin Stagner]

They are. Yeah. I'm glad you brought those up. I haven't told those stories in a long time.

[First Date Host]

Sometimes you have to get your memory refreshed.

[Justin Stagner]

Right. Asking me what my worst date was. It brings up a lot of yeah.

[First Date Host]

And then it makes you appreciate your current life.

[Justin Stagner]

For sure.

[First Date Host]

So your wife is a nurse practitioner.

[Justin Stagner]

Yes.

[First Date Host]

Do you guys still go on. When you go on dates, where do you go?

[Justin Stagner]

Usually downtown. We like to go to shows a lot. Like, if a local comic that we know or friends with or we like to go to comedy shows a lot. Or just out to eat. We do out to eat a lot. Movies is big. Anytime a good movie's coming out.

[First Date Host]

I eat so much popcorn at the movies.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. It's one of those things. Have you ever been full on popcorn? It doesn't happen.

[First Date Host]

No. But I've been sick off of popcorn because I drown it in that fake butter.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, you have to.

[First Date Host]

And I just. I get. I get nauseous. I eat so much of it.

[Justin Stagner]

One of the worst parenting mistakes we ever made. We picked up our son early from school, like, early dismissal. We're like. We're. I can't remember what movie it was, but whatever it was was coming out, and he was excited to see it, like Moana or whatever it was. So we're like, we'll take him straight there. Let him eat. You know, he's sitting there, he's eating during this fucking movie theater. And then afterwards, he would go for ice cream. And then he gets sick and starts throwing up, and we start doing a replay, and we're like, well, he didn't have lunch. All he had was candy and ice cream for the past three hours. And now he's puking.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

All our fault.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. I have learned the value of baby wipes.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[First Date Host]

I don't think. I can't remember the last time I've used like.

[Justin Stagner]

So you have to get back into that now.

[First Date Host]

A napkin.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

I use a baby wipe for everything. If I'm eating popcorn, I just pull out a baby wipe. Just wipe it all off my fingers. Fresh and clean.

[Justin Stagner]

See? But I've been out of that game so long, baby wipes is now replaced with dude wipes.

[First Date Host]

What are dude wipes?

[Justin Stagner]

It's baby wipes for dudes. I mean, I didn't. I thought it was self explanatory.

[First Date Host]

Are they called dude wipes?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah, that's the brand. Dude wipes.

[First Date Host]

Oh.

[Justin Stagner]

And they all have a scent too.

[First Date Host]

Oh. See, these are unscented. You have to get unscented, right?

[Justin Stagner]

No, no, this is for like, hey, if your house doesn't have a bidet, you just get some dude wipes.

[First Date Host]

Oh, okay. Oh, I've seen dude wipes. They're showing me a picture of it right now. Yeah, okay. Wow, what clever branding. Someone was like, let's just take baby wipes for dudes, put it in a black package.

[Justin Stagner]

Do you know who shakes their pants a lot? Babies and dudes.

[First Date Host]

Well, you're gonna have something in common with.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, the new one.

[First Date Host]

The new one. Yeah. Baby wipes come in handy all over the place.

[Justin Stagner]

They do. They really do. They're awesome.

[First Date Host]

I wipe down my little cart when I go grocery shopping.

[Justin Stagner]

I used to work with this old black lady, and she kept a little bottle of hot sauce and baby wipes.

[First Date Host]

The bottle of hot sauce is clutch too.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And like, as a mom, you start gathering collectibles for your purse that you realize are just like so helpful everywhere.

[Justin Stagner]

Your purse becomes the inside of that fridge drawer.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, I have a. My purse is a diaper bag. My cute little purses that my husband calls them stripper bags.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

I only use those when I go out to dinner. Because if I'm going out during the day anywhere, I need like 55 items.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah.

[First Date Host]

In my purse. It's so heavy. I think I've thrown my back out. I'm like, I have a little bit of a side.

[Justin Stagner]

My wife is abandoned. Purses all together. It's a backpack.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

It's like a nice one. It's cute, but it's still a backpack.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. Do you. Let me think. Alabama. Have you ever been to Austin?

[Justin Stagner]

No, this is my first time in Austin. I've been in Texas a bunch, but never Austin. I've done. I've done Dallas, Houston. I've never done a show in Austin.

[First Date Host]

You gotta. Austin has way more popular.

[Justin Stagner]

I know, I agree. I gotta talk to my marketing team. What the are they doing?

[First Date Host]

Yeah, you gotta. You gotta be here, dude. Are you performing anywhere while you're here?

[Justin Stagner]

No, I go back right back in the morning.

[First Date Host]

Oh, okay. Just in and out real quick.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. Next show is in Orange Beach, Alabama.

[First Date Host]

Where's your favorite place to perform?

[Justin Stagner]

My Favorite so far, probably Zany's in Nashville. It was a lot of fun. I've done it a bunch of times, and that's probably. I. I think just the history behind it. And, like, my market sells well. There's that. It's just. It's been fun.

[First Date Host]

What do you like to talk about?

[Justin Stagner]

So my comedy's coming all over the place. It's. I mean, it can go anywhere from World War II Hitler jokes to my grandpa in that trailer. You know, growing up in Alabama, I do a lot of, like, lengthy stories along with setup, punchline type jokes.

[First Date Host]

Do you ever do crowd work?

[Justin Stagner]

No.

[First Date Host]

You don't like it?

[Justin Stagner]

It's not that I don't like it. I just prefer to do the material.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, yeah. Crowd work, I feel, is a real gift. You either have it or you don't.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, I feel like if you. It's great for content. You don't have to burn your material. You can upload crowd work. I should probably do that, but I don't know. I just don't have interest.

[First Date Host]

Some people are just better at crowd work than.

[Justin Stagner]

For sure they are.

[First Date Host]

It's like once they start doing material, you're like, oh, fun's over.

[Justin Stagner]

Well, yeah. And, you know, a lot of. A lot of people, regular audience members, don't realize that the reason the crowd work material is uploaded so much is because people don't want to burn their material. So now people go to comedy shows. Like, I'm going to be a part of the show. I'm gonna talk the whole time. I'm gonna ask him questions, and then they ruin the. You know. Yeah, yeah, that happens too.

[First Date Host]

How far along are y' all pregnant?

[Justin Stagner]

May 1st.

[First Date Host]

The baby will be here May 1st.

[Justin Stagner]

So she's big.

[First Date Host]

Oh, my gosh. Do you know what you're gonna name him?

[Justin Stagner]

Yep. Cooper James.

[First Date Host]

Cute.

[Justin Stagner]

Thank you.

[First Date Host]

I like that. It's not trailer trashy at all.

[Justin Stagner]

No, no, no, dude. My first son's name sounds like it should sound. It should say Ann Associates at the end of it. His name is Jackson Brooks.

[First Date Host]

Jackson. My son's name is Jackson.

[Justin Stagner]

I think Justin told me that.

[First Date Host]

Jackson Wayne.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, that's awesome.

[First Date Host]

He's Jackson Wayne the fourth, because there was John Wayne and then Terry Wayne and then Mark's brother Michael Wayne, and then Jackson Wayne.

[Justin Stagner]

Does he go by Jackson?

[First Date Host]

Goes by Jax.

[Justin Stagner]

Okay.

[First Date Host]

But I didn't want to name him Jax Black. My last name is Black now, so we did Jackson Black.

[Justin Stagner]

Nice.

[First Date Host]

But we call him Jax. That was the compromise that we made,

[Justin Stagner]

me and my wife Had a compromise as well. I thought Jack. Then she wanted Jackson or Jax. And I was like, well, I like Jack's son. And she. Then we had to agree on the spelling and it was just.

[First Date Host]

How do you spell it?

[Justin Stagner]

Ck.

[First Date Host]

Okay. Ours was with an X.

[Justin Stagner]

She wanted the X. Yeah. I was like, well, Lauren's gonna do the X. We can't do that.

[First Date Host]

I wanna, I, I don't. I don't know what I'm gonna name my second one yet. I have like a handful of names and I still haven't landed on one.

[Justin Stagner]

That boy. Girl.

[First Date Host]

It's another boy.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, perfect. Yeah.

[First Date Host]

So I don't know if we're gonna stick with the X's. Like, keep an X in the name. Yeah, Like Xavier something with an X. It's really hard. I've asked Grock, I've asked the Internet. I've asked all sorts of questions. I'm like, what are some names, Xavier?

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know what you got? Paxton.

[First Date Host]

There's Paxton, there's Braxton, there's. Yeah, it's like all the things that rhyme.

[Justin Stagner]

Right?

[First Date Host]

So it's like the same thing with an X. And I'm just like, there's.

[Justin Stagner]

Do you ever think about. When you say stuff like this, do you ever think about saying their names together? Always think about that. Like, because when I was growing up, everybody's like, I want to go play at Justin. And Dylan's like, my brother's name is Dylan. So I always do that with kids names.

[First Date Host]

That's smart. I always, I want to do something that doesn't sound like Jax. So that if we're in our house and I call for Jax, they don't both come. You know what I mean? I don't want them to be like, wait, what did you say? Did you say Jax or Packs?

[Justin Stagner]

That's why juniors end up going by initials and shit. Yeah, because you're just calling. If they call Justin, you get both of them.

[First Date Host]

I need, I need to make sure their names sound different enough.

[Justin Stagner]

Go. Xavier.

[First Date Host]

I don't know about Xavier.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, I don't either.

[First Date Host]

It doesn't. He doesn't feel like an Xavier to me.

[Justin Stagner]

We'll see. And again with the kids together, be like, I want to go play at Jackson and Xavier's house. It's not, it's not free flowing.

[First Date Host]

No, but that's a good point. I have to start putting those together. Do you think after this it'll be done for you?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife mentioned the third and I was like, no, we're Getting so old.

[First Date Host]

How old are you?

[Justin Stagner]

I'm about. I'm going to be 36 next month and she's 35. What do you. How many more do you want?

[First Date Host]

I'll pro. I don't know. I've got to see how number two goes. I would love to have three, but there's like a certain point where like I have to do me, you know?

[Justin Stagner]

Do you love being pregnant?

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

But you've heard those women that are like, I just miss being pregnant.

[First Date Host]

What? Like the only in Alabama.

[Justin Stagner]

No, no, no. I've heard it all over.

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

Love being pregnant.

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

In Alabama it's pregnant. Barefoot in front of the stove. That's what they miss.

[First Date Host]

The only thing that I like about being pregnant is that I don't have to hold my belly in to feel skinny. I know that I'm not. I know I've got a belly, I can let it hang. And I'm just like, whatever, I'm pregnant. It doesn't really matter. I'm not trying to like be skinny.

[Justin Stagner]

Well, my wife is. She still goes to the gym every day. She goes to this old ladies gym where they like do insane hit cardio every day. And she's lifting more than the small girls in there. And I'm like, for what?

[First Date Host]

Why? I mean, that's great. I work.

[Justin Stagner]

I mean, you'll bounce back fast, I guess. I was like, look, baby, I'm waiting till you are not pregnant anymore. Then we'll lose together because I've gained with her this whole pregnancy.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

I know you can't tell, but I used to be in great shape.

[First Date Host]

What happened?

[Justin Stagner]

Well, I look like one of those before and after pictures. But like if you switched them, you know, I don't know. I really don't. Like I used to be so motivated, but it's just gone. I'm going to get it back.

[First Date Host]

When's the last time you worked out?

[Justin Stagner]

Know, I still, I'll still occasionally work out. Oh, it's the food that's the problem.

[First Date Host]

What do you like?

[Justin Stagner]

And I'm not a sweets person, so

[First Date Host]

what the fuck are you eating?

[Justin Stagner]

I'm eating terrible food. Fried chicken and everything else. Like I'm not. I don't want a cheesecake. I want a pizza.

[First Date Host]

I love pizza.

[Justin Stagner]

Right, of course you do.

[First Date Host]

Deep dish or thin crust?

[Justin Stagner]

No, no, deep dish.

[First Date Host]

Thin crust. Yeah, like the Italian.

[Justin Stagner]

Like hand sauced but not. I don't like deep dish.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

Or it looks like a cake. Yeah, I don't. I'm no interest.

[First Date Host]

What else do you like?

[Justin Stagner]

To eat chicken is a big one.

[First Date Host]

Fried chicken.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, big deal. Love fried chicken.

[First Date Host]

What do you eat with fried chicken?

[Justin Stagner]

Mashed potatoes and cornbread. I'm just asking Alabama words like just. We eat cornbread with everything. My grandma is who. She started this problem in Alabama. An old grandma is only job is to feed you till you die. So, like, anything she cooks, she cooks cornbread with it. Like, she would just call you and be like, I've made some pizza rolls and cornbread. And so you just ate cornbread with everything?

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

And then you would ask the questions that normal kids ask, like, hey, can I have a cookie? And they'd be like, well, if you eat all this fried chicken and cornbread, then you can have a cookie. And like, they were real big on finish your whole plate in the South.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

And they tell you your whole life, they're like, man, you need to put that boy in football. He's getting some size on him. You're just getting fat. Then your uncle sees you after high school, and he's like, you got fat as a gal, bud. You're like, yeah, I thought I was ready for football.

[First Date Host]

Did you ever do sports?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was. I'm telling you, I really was athletic in shape. Like, I just recently got a little out of hand. Covid started it. That's really what started it.

[First Date Host]

Covid's a bitch for that.

[Justin Stagner]

Started it.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

You're at home, you're not working out, and you just get out of the habit. Yeah, that's what happened.

[First Date Host]

They do say that, you know, like, men gain weight during the pregnancy, so I guess that's another way that you're in it together.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. The only problem is she's eating, like, clean. I'm like, well, you know, somebody's gotta eat like shit.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, my husband drinks.

[Justin Stagner]

You're supposed to take advantage of the pregnancy.

[First Date Host]

I gather that my husband will drink, and so he's always like, I'm drinking for the both of us. And I'm like, well, I will eat for the three of us. So I eat.

[Justin Stagner]

Somebody needs to be doing it, you know? And my wife, she. She quit drinking right before she got pregnant. So that's probably what helped us get pregnant. Who knows?

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Just being clean and healthy. And then got pregnant. So she just kept right on not drinking and eating healthy. And I was like, well, I gotta pick up the slack.

[First Date Host]

Someone's gotta do it.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, it's a hard job.

[First Date Host]

What is the nicest gift you've ever given her?

[Justin Stagner]

Her boobs, probably. I mean, that's Top of the list. That's. That's as nice as it gets.

[First Date Host]

That's a nice gift. It's for both of you. Thank you.

[Justin Stagner]

Tick tock.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

It's both of you. What's the nicest gift she's ever given you?

[Justin Stagner]

Probably those boobs. Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Went and had it done. Whose idea was it?

[Justin Stagner]

No, it was hers. I was. I was like, dude, you don't need them. You know, you got to say all those things.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

But you were like, also the nicest

[Justin Stagner]

gift she's probably given me. She had a painting done of me and my son that she sent in. That was pretty.

[First Date Host]

That's cool.

[Justin Stagner]

You can't even tell it's a painting. It's so good.

[First Date Host]

Really? Yeah, she had it commissioned.

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know what that means.

[First Date Host]

She. She had it.

[Justin Stagner]

I know what a commission is.

[First Date Host]

No, she had a. She had someone painted of you guys.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, showed them what picture they wanted redone, then had to approve all these steps. And it. Since then, we've used those people to do like two or three paintings, but she was the first.

[First Date Host]

Is it oil painting?

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Man, that's hard to do.

[Justin Stagner]

It was. It's unbelievable. I'll show you a picture of it when this is over. You. It's unbelievable.

[First Date Host]

I'd love to see it.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Oil painting is hard. I tried to do. I tried to do like a Valentine's thing where my. We, like, would sit down and. Oil paint.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Is so hard.

[Justin Stagner]

Can you draw?

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

Me neither. It's.

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

You have it or you don't?

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

My son's five. Well, my son, when he was five, would draw these unbelievable things, and I'll say, I don't know where the fuck you got that from. Neither one of us can draw. He would just sit there and they'd show him a picture on an iPad and he would start drawing it. And by the end you're like, nobody would. Nobody believed my 5 year old did it. Yeah, it was unbelievable.

[First Date Host]

We had like, we had picked a picture to draw, and it was like a portrait of some lady and in like a little hat. And we both decided that we were gonna paint that and see who could get closest to the picture. And he, like, had a ruler and was like making like a grid and like, kind of like, like, it was like, had those letters.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah. So you're supposed to start.

[First Date Host]

Yeah, yeah. And so he, like, did it the right way. And I'm like, I don't have time for a grid. And so I just like Winged it.

[Justin Stagner]

And you still won.

[First Date Host]

I was pretty freaking close.

[Justin Stagner]

I'm so bad at art. Like, awful. Was that one of those things where you go drink wine and do it?

[First Date Host]

No, we did this at home, but we did drink wine.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh, yeah.

[First Date Host]

And did it. I wasn't pregnant at the time.

[Justin Stagner]

That was a big thing for, like, date night.

[First Date Host]

Like, Color Me Mine.

[Justin Stagner]

I don't know what it was called, but it was one of the. You just go and paint a fucking horse while you drink wine.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. There's a place called Color Me Mine, at least in la. I don't know if they have one here.

[Justin Stagner]

Like, build a bear for adults.

[First Date Host]

You go buy a plain piece of pottery and they have, like, anything that's, like, really small to things that are really big, like a vase, and you just buy. And it's just plain old white.

[Justin Stagner]

Oh.

[First Date Host]

And you paint that, and you paint that. And then they provide all the paints and all the brushes.

[Justin Stagner]

Like a canvas where, like, you painted a picture.

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

Have you ever tried pottery?

[First Date Host]

No.

[Justin Stagner]

It is impossible.

[First Date Host]

It looks impossible.

[Justin Stagner]

We went and tried to remake, like, the ghost scene. You remember the Patrick Swayze?

[First Date Host]

Yeah.

[Justin Stagner]

And it's so hard. Anything and the people showing you how to do it is just like. And it turns out perfect.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. But anything that looks easy to do is hard. Is hard.

[Justin Stagner]

It's just that person's that good at it.

[First Date Host]

Yeah. That's all they've done with their whole entire life.

[Justin Stagner]

Exactly. You watch me eat and you'd be like, that looks so easy. He's mastered it.

[First Date Host]

Well, where can people find you?

[Justin Stagner]

Justin Stagner on anything.

[First Date Host]

Okay.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

Thank you for coming on my show.

[Justin Stagner]

No, thank you for having me. It's been a blast.

[First Date Host]

I appreciate it.

[Justin Stagner]

Yeah.

[First Date Host]

And thank you guys for watching another episode of First Date. We'll see you next time. First Date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? You told your mom about me? Just say, you ready? Delete my notes. Number Thursday. Your parents are your roommate.