Scott Filmore Found His College Professor on Grindr?! | First Date Podcast

Summary

Podcast Summary:

First Date with Lauren Compton
Episode: Scott Fillmore Found His College Professor on Grindr?!
Release Date: October 21, 2025
Podcast Network: YMH Studios
Guests: Lauren Compton (host), Scott Fillmore (comedian, content creator)

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Scott Fillmore, an Austin local and former First Date Live contestant, in a candid, comedic exploration of dating as an ex-Mormon gay man. The conversation covers coming out, Grindr confessions, dating red flags, the complex layers of the gay dating scene, and personal stories about family, romance, and self-acceptance. Expect plenty of laughs, real talk about LGBTQ+ experience, and an irreverent tone throughout.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Scott’s Background: Coming Out and Leaving Mormonism

• Scott introduces himself: “I’m 33. I’m single. A big gay. That’s becoming less of a fun fact as time goes on.” (01:10–01:17)
• Reflects on growing up Mormon in Wisconsin, serving a mission in Ukraine (03:27–03:55), and grappling with his sexuality:
  • “It was a big, hush-hush, secret thing for me until I was, like, 25.” (01:52–01:59)
  • Came out after nearly getting engaged to a woman at BYU, a Mormon university (01:38–02:32).

2. Life in Different Communities: Family, Utah, Austin

• Talks about moving from Wisconsin to Utah, then eventually to Austin, Texas (04:03–04:10).
• Describes his supportive family, despite initial religious differences:
  • “My parents have never… never liked that. So I got really lucky. My parents rule.” (19:47–19:49)
• Explains that he and his brothers no longer practice Mormonism (18:59–19:05).

3. Dating Experiences and Grindr Realness

• Describes his dating preferences and style:
  • Prefers low-key first dates: “I don’t like going out… I would much rather have somebody over, maybe cook for him, maybe just hang out, watch a movie.” (09:21–09:43)
  • Discusses differences in gay vs. straight dating norms:
    • “With gay guys, it’s just like, well, we both know what we’re here for… It’s a little more honest, which I like.” (10:50–10:49)
• Opens up about the realities of Grindr, the gay dating app:
  • “It’s a grid of shirtless neck to waistline torsos... they don’t want anybody else to know that they’re gay so they’re not showing their face.” (21:27–21:43)
  • On closet culture: “There’s so many guys in the closet here [Austin]... You get within a mile of UT, you’re just like, whoa. It’s crazy.” (21:44–21:56)
  • Reveals wild experience: “I saw one of my professors on there and he was married with kids. And he started messaging me.” (23:52–24:17)
  • Explains why he now avoids dating closeted men: “I’m not interested in dating those types of guys… I’ve already been through that and I’m done.” (26:36–27:15)

4. Gay Dating Culture and “Types”

• Explains the archetypes in gay culture: bears, otters, twinks, etc. (13:47–14:17)
  • “I’m a chub, which is not very nice… everyone else gets a cute nickname and you’re just a chub.” (14:15–14:17)
  • “If you’re tall and skinny, you are king of the castle [in gay dating].” (12:22–12:26)
• Shares his “type”: “I like a guy that looks like he’s been trapped in a library for three years… tall and lanky and, like, shy and quiet.” (11:07–11:24)

5. Creativity, Cooking, and Hobbies

• Scott and Lauren bond over a love of cooking:
  • Scott previously ran a TikTok series “Making Salmon Fat,” where he’d cook to sabotage a crush on his hot roommate. (06:04–06:25)
  • Launching a new web series “Cooking with Comics.” (07:03–07:11; 41:10)
• Plays multiple instruments (violin, mandolin), joined a bluegrass band in high school. (17:06–17:18)
• End goal: working in writers’ rooms for TV and film. (17:42–17:55)

6. Romance, Personality, and Relationship Preferences

• Shares what attracts him: moving past looks to valuing chemistry, conversation, and intellect:
  • “Now I’m getting to a place where, like, if I am gonna be with somebody or spend time with somebody. I’d like them to be able to read and do simple addition…” (27:57–28:24)
• Not in a rush for marriage; values solitude and doesn’t want to settle “from fear of being alone.” (29:22–29:45)
• Most romantic gesture: “I made a picnic... took a guy up a mountain… homemade bridge over a river… picnic right there.” (39:09–39:43)
• Most romantic gift received: “(He) put together a really fun, personalized care package for my birthday… all stuff that I had mentioned liking.” (40:00–40:42)

7. Red Flags, Vulnerability, and Therapy

• His own big red flag: “I get bored really easily… I think the responsibility of other people’s emotions…” (30:34–31:06)
  • Has been in therapy to address avoidant tendencies in relationships (31:11–31:17)
• Biggest red flag in others: “Inability to read a room;… social skills are really important.” (31:37–31:56)

8. Authenticity and Owning Mistakes

• Both discuss the importance of owning when they are “the problem” in a friendship or relationship; value direct communication (34:09–35:16)
• Lauren reflects, “I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings...” and shares a story about adjusting her style between comedians and non-comedians (35:30–36:44)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I like a guy that looks like he’s been trapped in a library for three years… tall and lanky and, like, shy and quiet.” — Scott (11:07)
• “With gay guys, it’s just like, well, we both know what we’re here for. What the end goal is here. …To me, it’s a little more honest, which I like.” — Scott (10:49)
• “If you’re tall and skinny, you are king of the castle.” — Scott (12:22)
• “I saw one of my professors on there [Grindr], and he was married with kids. And he started messaging me.” — Scott (23:52)
• “I wish I thought that was going to be the case. Every gay person is funny that I’ve met… we all want attention.” — Scott, on being a comedian in the gay community (14:40–15:21)
• “I’m a chub… everyone else gets a cute nickname and you’re just a chub.” — Scott (14:16)
• “All the things that make me cool and special to straight people are just, like, kind of normal for gay people.” — Scott (16:50)
• “Own it. …Taking that step to, like, communicate a little bit… makes you better friends with that person.” — Scott (34:47–35:16)

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Important Timestamps:

• Scott’s Coming Out/Background: 01:09–02:21
• Life as a Mormon Missionary: 03:27–03:55
• First Date Preferences + Gay Dating Reality: 09:21–10:49
• Gay Culture Types: 13:47–14:17
• Grindr Explainer: 21:01–23:56
• Professor on Grindr Story: 23:52–24:21
• Red Flags & Avoidance: 30:34–31:17
• Therapy/Emotional Growth: 31:29–31:17
• Romantic Gestures: 39:09–40:42
• Cooking with Comics Plug: 41:10–41:14

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a playful and unfiltered look at modern gay dating, with Scott Fillmore serving up jokes, vulnerability, and plenty of real talk about navigating identity, culture, and relationships. Lauren and Scott’s chemistry keeps things light, but the episode is packed with insights into the complexities of coming out, seeking connection, and learning to feel at home with oneself—no matter how many “red flags” that includes.

Where to Find Scott:

• Instagram/TikTok: @ScottFillmoreComedy / @GrinderAndGrill
• Web Series: Cooking with Comics (coming soon)

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For listeners curious about LGBTQ+ dating, ex-Mormon experience, or just in for authentic laughs, this episode is essential.

Transcript

[Host]

This is a real good story about Bronx and his dad, Ryan. Real United Airlines customers.

[Scott Fillmore]

We were returning home, and one of the flight attendants asked Bronx if he wanted to see the flight deck and meet Kath and Andrew.

[Host]

I got to sit in the driver's seat.

[Scott Fillmore]

I grew up in an aviation family, and seeing Bronx kind of reminded me of myself when I was that age.

[Host]

That's Andrew, a real United pilot.

[Scott Fillmore]

These small interactions can shape a kid's future.

[Host]

It felt like I was the captain. Allowing my son to see the flight.

[Scott Fillmore]

Deck will stick with us forever. That's how good leads the way.

[Host]

I'm so excited to see you tonight. First Date, baby. First date. I can't wait. First date. What's up, you guys? Welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a hilarious comic. He's local to Austin. You probably recognize him from First Date Live. He was a contestant on the show. Give it up for Scott Fillmore.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, hi, everybody. Hi. Hey, how are you?

[Host]

I'm good.

[Scott Fillmore]

How are you? I'm thrilled to be here.

[Host]

Any fun facts?

[Scott Fillmore]

Any fun facts? I'm 33. I'm single.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

A big gay. That's becoming less of a fun fact as time goes on.

[Host]

I know our world's just in a place where it's like, oh, you're gay. Cool.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. I think the older you get, the less interested people are in. In whatever you're doing in the bedroom. Yeah, I think.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

But I think it's fun still. I'm still having a good time. Yeah.

[Host]

Have you ever had a girlfriend?

[Scott Fillmore]

I have. Yeah. I was. I was almost engaged to a young woman for a while.

[Host]

Oh, really?

[Scott Fillmore]

Yes.

[Host]

Did you know you were gay?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, yeah, big time. Yeah, I. I grew up Mormon.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And so it was. I was. It was like a big, hush, hush, secret thing for me until I was, like, 25.

[Host]

Okay. Did you tell this girl?

[Scott Fillmore]

No. No.

[Host]

Do you think she knows now?

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, yeah. If she's on the Internet at all.

[Host]

How old were you when you were almost engaged?

[Scott Fillmore]

I would have been like 24.

[Host]

And when did you come out?

[Scott Fillmore]

25.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

How did you break up with her?

[Scott Fillmore]

It was a mutual thing. It was the. Do you know what BYU is? Brigham Young University. It's like the Mormon college that everybody.

[Host]

I don't know.

[Scott Fillmore]

Totally fine. It's like a religious school. We both went there, so it's just. It's only other Mormon kids. And the big thing is they want you to get married really young and start having a bunch of babies. And so we were kind of, like, doing our duty, gearing up for that. Yeah, it was. Yeah. We dated for, like, a year, and our families, like, met each other, and everybody was like, here we go.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Then it just kind of started not working.

[Host]

Yeah. Are you still Mormon?

[Scott Fillmore]

No. No, it's. They're not, like, super thrilled about. I was going to say it's not.

[Host]

Much frowned upon to be gay.

[Scott Fillmore]

Everyone on both sides of my family is. So, like, I still have a lot of love for the community, but don't really feel at home religiously there.

[Host]

So where did you grow up?

[Scott Fillmore]

I grew up in Wisconsin.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Southeast Wisconsin, outside of Milwaukee. Born there, raised there. And then when I graduated high school, Mormons do a thing called the Mission. So you go for two years, you go to a different country, and you try to convert people to your religion.

[Host]

Right.

[Scott Fillmore]

So I, from 2012 to 2014, lived in Ukraine and I learned Russian and I tried to baptize people, and what.

[Host]

A different life you lived.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, it's been a weird one. And then I came home and I lived in Utah for, like, the last.

[Host]

The Mecca.

[Scott Fillmore]

Eight years, of course, or whatever. And then I moved to Austin, like, two years ago.

[Host]

And have you been dating guys since then?

[Scott Fillmore]

You bet. I've been doing my best.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

I've been trying. They're not biting as often as I'd like, but, yeah, we're doing our best.

[Host]

But you've been having fun with that.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, a blast.

[Host]

Have you had a boyfriend?

[Scott Fillmore]

I have.

[Host]

How. What's your longest relationship?

[Scott Fillmore]

Ooh. I mean, on and off with the same guy for, like, two years, probably.

[Host]

Hey, that's longer than the girl.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

I guess you're following the right path.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Loser. I don't. She has, like, kids now and stuff. It's. She's got a whole life.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

She's crushing it.

[Host]

That's cool.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

And then you were telling me that you just developed lactose intolerance.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, I just think. I don't know what's going on. I just can't do dairy anymore, man.

[Host]

That's.

[Scott Fillmore]

I'm from Wisconsin. That's, like, my whole identity.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

It's cheese and I can eat it. It just makes everybody around me upset.

[Host]

Because I start having all kinds of.

[Scott Fillmore]

Start doing my thing.

[Host]

Yeah. Damn, that sucks. There's. I've heard that people who are. I mean, this will never apply to you, but people who are lactose intolerant when they get pregnant, they can actually handle dairy.

[Scott Fillmore]

Boy can dream. Look, let's not write anything off you. I'm still young.

[Host]

How rude of me. Okay, and so you're gay, you're lactose intolerant, used to be Mormon, grew up in Wisconsin. Now you're in Austin.

[Scott Fillmore]

That's just a long list of red flags right there.

[Host]

Are you okay?

[Scott Fillmore]

I'm really. I'm white knuckling it right now. Through life, just trying. Just trying to make it work.

[Host]

Do you like to cook?

[Scott Fillmore]

I love to cook, actually.

[Host]

What do you like to cook?

[Scott Fillmore]

Everything. I love. I love cooking so much. I used to do. It's like my big gay thing. I ran a cooking TikTok for a while.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

I don't know if you knew that about me.

[Host]

I did not know that about you.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, I used to do a series with my roommate called Making Salmon Fat, and it was. I. I had the hot roommate, and it made me uncomfortable, so I was secretly trying to get him to get fat so I wouldn't want to have sex with him as much.

[Host]

That's a great premise.

[Scott Fillmore]

It was just me cooking for him all the time.

[Host]

Why did this fall through? That sounds like a great idea.

[Scott Fillmore]

We did it for like a year. It was a lot of fun. And then. And then he got a girlfriend and she was weird about it.

[Host]

I mean, I get it. Two guys live together.

[Scott Fillmore]

There was a lot of. We. We pushed the sexual tension.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

A lot of lesbians loved us for some reason.

[Host]

We all kind of fall in the same category.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, I guess. But it was. It was very wholesome. It was just like, will they, won't they? But it also. Me just like, get. Shove this in your mouth.

[Host]

Well, damn. You could have replaced me with Sam.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, let's do it. We got time.

[Host]

That sounds fun.

[Scott Fillmore]

I am actually in the process of starting another cooking show here, Cooking with comics, which I'm pretty excited about.

[Host]

Yeah, that sounds like another great idea.

[Scott Fillmore]

But I. Yeah, I can cook pretty much anything. Love to bake. Worked in a bakery for a while. What about you? Do you are. What's your favorite food?

[Host]

I do love to cook too. I probably make more Italian food than anything just because I like to make homemade pasta.

[Scott Fillmore]

Okay. That's. That's one thing I've never done. I'm not a huge pasta guy.

[Host]

You know, in general, I'm not a huge pasta person either. It's just when you make a pasta ball, it's so big and, like, malleable, you can make anything. So it's kind of like play.

[Scott Fillmore]

D'oh.

[Host]

It's just a great way.

[Scott Fillmore]

Are you usually doing noodles or are you doing, like, fun little Shakes.

[Host]

I'll do ravioli. And you latte. I have a machine that makes fusilli.

[Scott Fillmore]

Really?

[Host]

Rigatoni. And I can do.

[Scott Fillmore]

Have you ever done gnocchi?

[Host]

Oh, yeah. Wait, no, I have never done gnocchi.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, it's the best.

[Host]

It's the only one. I've never.

[Scott Fillmore]

It's the only pasta I have made.

[Host]

No, I was thinking of tortellini because they're so small. But no, I've never made gnocchi. I haven't made potato gnocchi, ricotta, gnocchi, nothing. You don't make it from pasta dough.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, it's potatoes.

[Host]

Yeah, it's different. So I've never made it.

[Scott Fillmore]

And this. I'm also pretty Irish, so that'll. It's. It's what gets me going.

[Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Hey, well, then you'll have to come over. We'll make some gnocchi.

[Host]

That sounds great. Yeah. I'll be your comic for that. Probably no one will watch. I'm not that funny.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, and I haven't started yet, so I have no followers.

[Host]

Starting at a great. No, low.

[Scott Fillmore]

Like, low bar. I. I looked at the show before coming and I've watched before, and I was like, why am I on this by a mile? The least known person you've ever had on him. And I'm honored.

[Host]

Hey, you're gonna be known now.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, here we are.

[Host]

More known.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

I don't know.

[Scott Fillmore]

My podcast could be tanking. Just like, oh, no, they're scraping the bottom of the barrel. The guy that lost the dating show.

[Host]

Well, so far I've laughed more on this episode than some with celebrities.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, no accounting for taste, I guess.

[Host]

What is your idea of a perfect first date?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, I. I don't like going out, like, drinks, coffee, dinner. I don't love that for a first date. I would much rather have somebody over, maybe cook for him, maybe just hang out, watch a movie at my place. I. I think that's a better way to get to know somebody. It's just a little one on one. Yeah.

[Host]

Private and also, like, that can be really intimidating, though.

[Scott Fillmore]

I get that. But a little different with guys.

[Host]

That's true. I don't know anything about gay guys.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, we usually get the fun stuff out of the way first.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

And then if we end up getting to know each other, that's kind of like a happy accident. Oh, that. It's a. It's a. I wasn't expecting that. But yeah. Your name is Clark. Cool.

[Host]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Fillmore]

Look, it's not everyone in my community but it has been typically the way.

[Host]

I would say that it's pretty common to assume that gay people are more promiscuous.

[Scott Fillmore]

I think we're just more upfront about sex.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

I've. Because, like, when I dated women and then talking to my straight friends about their dating life, there seems to be a little bit more of a game with men and women. There's a little bit of a dance, little bit of a. You got it. Like, women like to make men earn it, or they don't want to seem like they're a slut or whatever. Whatever it is. And with gay guys, it's just like, well, we both know what we're here for. What the end goal is here.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And I. To me, it's a little more honest, which I like. But I. I do miss that part of it. Like the kind of the. The will they, Won't they? I think. I think there's something to be said for that as well.

[Host]

So what is your type?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, I like a guy that looks like he's been trapped in a library for three years. Like, I like him tall and lanky and, like, shy and quiet.

[Host]

Really?

[Scott Fillmore]

I. I think it's just a. That's a. Like a leftover thing from trying to be super straight. I like a guy that I can protect.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Like, if somebody was going to gay bash us, I. I could be like, get behind me, babe.

[Host]

You're the man.

[Scott Fillmore]

Kind of. Yeah. And. But I just also. I think there's just something really charming about, like, a. A bookish nerd. Yeah, I think that's really sweet and attractive.

[Host]

Are you a bookish nerd?

[Scott Fillmore]

I am a huge nerd, but only in, like, the lame way.

[Host]

Yeah, I like, like, like Harry Potter.

[Scott Fillmore]

Harry Potter and Star Wars. That's. That's my nerd stuff. I. I'm like, I like a guy that wants to be a scientist. Like that kind of a thing. Cooler, useful. Nerd. Yeah. But I mean, it doesn't have to be that, you know, I'm not like, strictly just that thing. And also, those guys are in pretty high demand in the gay community.

[Host]

Are they really?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, yeah. If you're tall and skinny, you are king of the castle.

[Host]

Really?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together, use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60. And never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption it's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to.

[Scott Fillmore]

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[Host]

Please drink responsibly.

[Scott Fillmore]

Hard seltzer with flavors. 8% alcohol by volume. White Claw Seltzer works Chicago, Illinois.

[Host]

I don't know. You know, I really don't know anything about the gay community. Like that.

[Scott Fillmore]

Okay. It's crazy that you don't know anything about the gay community.

[Host]

I know, but it's interesting that, like, tall and skinny. I guess the same goes for straight people. Like, if you're a girl and you're a tall, thin girl, you're probably in Hired Man. And the short, stumpy ones.

[Scott Fillmore]

It's true. And there's like, gay guys get into, like, the whole types, the bears and the otters and the twinks and all that stuff.

[Host]

And bears and otters and twinks.

[Scott Fillmore]

Do you know what this is? No, I don't believe. That's crazy.

[Host]

I know that a bear is, like a burly guy, right?

[Scott Fillmore]

So, yeah, I would be. I'm almost a bear. Bears, you have to be, like, about my size, but, like, really hairy chest.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

Big, thick beard and stuff.

[Host]

So you're just.

[Scott Fillmore]

You're like, I'm a chub.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

Which is not very nice. I don't love it. I don't love that everyone else gets a cute nickname and you're just a chub. And then the fat guy over there in the corner and I go, cool. Thanks, guys. Oh, awesome.

[Host]

But, hey, but as a comic, you must stand out, everyone. I don't care who you are, gay or straight, is always looking for someone funny.

[Scott Fillmore]

I wish I thought that was going to be the case.

[Host]

Oh, no.

[Scott Fillmore]

Every gay person is funny that I've met.

[Host]

Really?

[Scott Fillmore]

I. I think it's. There's just something about, like, growing up with a secret. You kind of learn how to play the room, manage people's view of you. And every. You know, there's a little bit of a struggle being gay. Not as much now, but, like, when I was growing up, it was, you know, it was kind of dangerous a little. You were scared?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And I think growing up with that kind of sharpens you a little bit. So when I hang out with gay people my age and older, everyone's hilarious. And also, we all want attention. Every gay person you ever met wants to be the center of attention.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Wants to be the special boy. And so when somebody else is funnier, it's kind of a threat.

[Host]

I can see that.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Which is why I want a quiet, nerdy guy who's gonna let me do all the talking.

[Host]

So is the quiet nerdy guy the twink?

[Scott Fillmore]

Sometimes, yeah.

[Host]

What's a twink?

[Scott Fillmore]

Twink is just like a skinny, skinny little thing.

[Host]

A tall. The king of the.

[Scott Fillmore]

It doesn't have to be tall.

[Host]

Oh, it's just a skinny one.

[Scott Fillmore]

Just. Just a tiny little. You've got one that works here. I want a Tanner amyglia. I mean, that's textbook twink. And he and I. Tanner. Love you. Big fan. I'm watching his dog right now.

[Host]

That's awesome.

[Scott Fillmore]

And you owe me, right?

[Host]

Damn. I wouldn't want to be a straight guy owing a gay guy.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Straight guy. I'm just kidding.

[Host]

Oh, my God. Are you. So what is the thing that makes you special as a gay guy if everyone is funny?

[Scott Fillmore]

Sure.

[Host]

What's. What's the thing that stands out about you where you're like, I got this.

[Scott Fillmore]

I. Oh, God. Maybe this is why I don't date very well very often. I don't know. I. I wish I had, like, a. Like a cool.

[Host]

Well, you cook? Do all gay people cook?

[Scott Fillmore]

A lot of gay people.

[Host]

Damn.

[Scott Fillmore]

All the things that make me cool and special to straight people are just, like, kind of normal for gay people.

[Host]

In the gay community.

[Scott Fillmore]

I. I play music, which is. I guess I play violin and mandolin. Okay. So that kind of sets me apart.

[Host]

That's a fun hidden talent.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Yeah. So I grew up playing classical violin, and then I joined a bluegrass folk band when I was in high school, and fiddle.

[Host]

Yeah. That's fun. Would you. Would you ever pursue music? Have a band and try to.

[Scott Fillmore]

Maybe for fun. Never. Never to, like, try to be it. Make it in the music industry because it's. I'm. I'm already failing to do that with comedy, so I'm. I can't then add another one that I am not going to do well on.

[Host]

But what's your end goal? What do you want to be?

[Scott Fillmore]

I want to be in the writers room for film and television. I'm always going to do stand up, but that's before I did comedy. I was writing and have been. Have been pursuing that.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

So fingers crossed. Hey. Anybody? Yeah.

[Host]

Do you believe in astrology.

[Scott Fillmore]

I don't. I know of it. I don't know if I believe in it.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

I mean, like, I. I went from being, like, hardcore I believe in God to no. So it's kind of hard to get into something, to throw, like, magic into the mix. Yeah. It's hard to be, like, growing up being like Jesus and then being like, no, and then, like. Yeah, but maybe rocks, maybe crystals. It's a. It's. It's just doesn't really fill the void. I feel that, but I think it's fun. It's like a fortune cookie. Yeah. I don't think it's gonna change anything, but I'll still. I'll still read it. Yeah.

[Host]

Do you have any brothers and sisters?

[Scott Fillmore]

I have three older brothers.

[Host]

Oh, really?

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

Are they gay.

[Scott Fillmore]

I keep asking. No, no. They're all unfortunately straight, but they're awesome.

[Host]

Are they Mormon still?

[Scott Fillmore]

No. None of us are really church guys anymore.

[Host]

That's so wild that. Did they grow up Mormon as well?

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

So you all grew up super strict, did your mission.

[Scott Fillmore]

Only me and my oldest brother did our missions to middle brothers, bad boys. Did not. Did not do it, man.

[Host]

That's wild that you all kind of got out of it.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. I mean, our parents were, like, very. They're very much still religious, and it's, like, very important to them. And I. I respect that and I love that about them, but they were never, like, super harsh with us. They never, like, made us do all the church stuff.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

You know, never crack the whip. Like. I know. I know other Mormons that are gay whose parents don't talk to them, that kind of thing, but my parents have never. Never liked that. So I got really lucky.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

My parents rule.

[Host]

Yeah. So do you date older or younger?

[Scott Fillmore]

I don't really have a preference. I don't. I try not to date too much younger.

[Host]

Well, you are pretty young, though.

[Scott Fillmore]

I'm 33.

[Host]

That's young.

[Scott Fillmore]

I know.

[Host]

You're young.

[Scott Fillmore]

I know. Just a little. I'm just a little thing. I'm just like a little hole. I will not. I generally. I don't know. I don't know why I'm gonna say this. Generally, my body type attracts a younger guy that has problems with their father.

[Host]

Well.

[Scott Fillmore]

And so I ended up filling a parental role in a little. Little bit of ways.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

But I don't. I don't really like that. It makes me feel weird.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

So I. I try to keep it within five years, five to eight years on either end of the age scale.

[Host]

Where do you typically meet people?

[Scott Fillmore]

I'm on the dating apps. Good old Grindr. CL Classic.

[Host]

That's a real thing.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, you want to see?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, have you know. Oh, no, I didn't know Grindr.

[Host]

I thought Grindr was like, I'm like a joke.

[Scott Fillmore]

I'm like your gay Sherpa. Grinder's a joke. You're right. Grindr is a joke. Oh, I don't have service in here. I'll show you after.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

It's crazy.

[Host]

So you just swipe on gay dudes?

[Scott Fillmore]

No, it's a. It's a. It's a grid of. Of shirtless neck to waistline torsos is just. It's just guys with their shirts off, but they don't want anybody else to know that they're the gay, so they're not showing their face.

[Host]

Really?

[Scott Fillmore]

In Austin especially, it's. There's so many guys in the closet here. Yeah, yeah. You. You get within a mile of ut, you're just like, whoa. It's crazy.

[Host]

Have you ever met up with someone that was. Man. Like, have you ever.

[Scott Fillmore]

If.

[Host]

Man, how do I say this? So if a guy doesn't want people to know that they're gay, it must. Have you ever met up with someone that was not out of the closet?

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, like, most of the time. Here's what. I'll say that. Because it does happen pretty regularly. And that's what Grindr is good for. It's like, kind of anonymous.

[Host]

Are there, like, known people on this app?

[Scott Fillmore]

Sure, yeah. I mean, everybody at one point is using it because it's kind of the safest way to meet other gay guys.

[Host]

Okay, tell me about Grindr. So then what? So then you find someone, you meet up with them.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. So it's all. It's location based.

[Host]

I can't believe this is real.

[Scott Fillmore]

Which is crazy. So have you ever been on Tinder?

[Host]

No.

[Scott Fillmore]

Lucky girl. I forget you're beautiful. People will just ask you out on dates.

[Host]

Oh, that's so nice. Thank you.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, I meant it as a compliment.

[Host]

I'm taking it as a compliment.

[Scott Fillmore]

So Grindr, you get like a grid of squares of people's profiles. There's no swiping. You can just click. You see a picture you like, you click on it. You can message them directly and they can ignore you or respond. And it's all based off of location. And Tinder tells you how far away people are in miles. Grindr, it'll tell you where other gay guys are in feet. So you could be. I'm out I'm out doing comedy shows and stuff. I'll check Grindr in the green room. It'll be like 12ft, 20ft, 70ft. And then you just go, hey, I'm.

[Host]

Gonna get on Grindr.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. There are, weirdly, a lot of girls on Grinder. It's pretty cool.

[Host]

I'm so intrigued.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

You can find out a lot about people being on Grindr.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, I have.

[Host]

What is the wildest thing you found out?

[Scott Fillmore]

Ooh, this was actually when I was still in the closet when I was in college. I was getting on Grindr a little bit and like first dipping my toes into the water and. Oh, God, I. I saw one of my professors on there and he was married with kids.

[Host]

Stop.

[Scott Fillmore]

And he started messaging me.

[Host]

No. Did you meet up with him?

[Scott Fillmore]

No. Oh, wow. He has kids. That's crazy.

[Host]

But I was a lot of these people. Like, that's the reason that they're on. There is.

[Scott Fillmore]

No. Yeah, it's. It's anonymous. And in some, you know, there's plenty of guys that. That wouldn't be a problem for him. But I ain't a home wrecker. I'm not trying to do all that.

[Host]

Oh my gosh. So do you.

[Scott Fillmore]

If.

[Host]

If someone's 20ft away, is it like. Is there a map and there's just like little pins moving?

[Scott Fillmore]

No, it's just. It just you click. Their profile tells you that their location based or from you. So It'd be like 25ft and then there's a little. It's like a little fire emoji you can click. And that's like a what up?

[Host]

No way. And so then you guys will start talking and then you just meet up and you just get the fun stuff.

[Scott Fillmore]

Sure. Yeah.

[Host]

Wow.

[Scott Fillmore]

Or. Or you could just talk. I'm. I mean, out of 20 guys, you message on there, maybe one of them you'll end up like meeting up with.

[Host]

Do you have your profile picture on there?

[Scott Fillmore]

Huh?

[Host]

Is your face in it?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm like openly gay. I talk about it on the Internet and.

[Host]

Yeah, well, I didn't know if you were like, if this was like a cop, like everyone was.

[Scott Fillmore]

A lot of people don't think I'm gay. Which is fun. Which is fun. This episode is brought to you by cbs. DMV is a brand new workplace comedy turning misery into magic and chaos into comedy. Starring Harriet Dyer And Tim Meadows, DMV.

[Host]

Is here to serve you laughs.

[Scott Fillmore]

Watch Mondays at 8:30 7:30 Central on CBS and streaming on Paramount.

[Host]

Wayfair's big sale is returning. Get ready for way day. For four days only, score up to 80 off all things home with free shipping on everything. From October 26th through 29th, score Wayfair's best deals, like up to 80 off area rugs, up to 60 off mattresses, up to 60 off bedroom furniture, and more exclusive door buster deals. So mark your calendar and shop Wayday starting October 26th at Wayfair.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Do you. Do you typically click on people that don't have their face in their profile?

[Scott Fillmore]

No, that's not for me. I. I mean, I used to not care if you were, like, in the closet still or. Or, like, keeping it a secret. It didn't bother me because I. I was in it for a long time. I was, like, really scared about people finding out. And so I. I have, like, empathy for that, and I totally understand why people might not be ready to be open about that. But for me, now, I'm not interested in dating those types of guys because it's just, like, I've already been through that and I'm done. And now I don't want to have to, like, go through it again with somebody else.

[Host]

Yeah. Like, try to talk to them and be like, look, try to get someone to come out of the closet. I assume would be, like, such a headache.

[Scott Fillmore]

I just have no time for, like, the fear of it all.

[Host]

And they have to. That's. That's really something you have to choose to do on your own time, too. It's like when people say that they have to work on themselves.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. It's.

[Host]

You don't want to date someone that's like, oh, I.

[Scott Fillmore]

Trying to sex dick on the side is what's really going on.

[Host]

Yeah. That's so wild. When is the last time that you met someone in person?

[Scott Fillmore]

In person? Last week.

[Host]

Were they cool?

[Scott Fillmore]

Very cool. Yeah. Had like, a regular coffee date kind of a thing.

[Host]

What attracts you to someone? What is. Is it their personality? Is it their looks first?

[Scott Fillmore]

The older I'm getting, the more personality is the forefront. I used to. I mean, I think all young guys are just dumb and full of gum and trying to get rid of it. So that was. That was my 20s. Was just. It was all looks and just like, very superficial. And now I'm like, I'm not a big relationship guy. I don't. I don't have the urge to, like, date all the time.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

But now I'm getting to a place where, like, if I am gonna be with somebody or Spend time with somebody. I'd like them to be able to read and do Simple Edition and a good quality and just, like, hold a conversation and. And, you know, it's. Yeah. I'm getting more and more interested into, like, chemistry between people and do you.

[Host]

Want to have one person that you're with forever, or do you like being in the sea of fish?

[Scott Fillmore]

I don't know. I. Part of me thinks, yeah, absolutely. I'd love to, like, get married or something. But I also have paid very close attention to the marriages and relationships of my friends and my family, and I see a lot of what that brings to people, and there's a lot there that I'm not interested in.

[Host]

Yeah. Well, could you make it your own, or is that just.

[Scott Fillmore]

I think so. I think if I find the right person and we. We really vibed, and it wasn't like, we're together because we're scared of being alone. That's really what I see most of the relationships around me.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

It's not that they love that person. It's that they hate being alone.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And I love being alone.

[Host]

Being alone can be really fun.

[Scott Fillmore]

I like it. I like it a lot.

[Host]

When I was single for a very short amount of time throughout my life, but every time that I was single, I never. I never really hated it.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, it's nice.

[Host]

I'd just be like, on my bed. I decide to get pizza or something. Just turn on a movie, and I'm like, it's kind of cool.

[Scott Fillmore]

You can see I'm doing a lot of bed pizza.

[Host]

Hey, I'm still doing that pizza, too.

[Scott Fillmore]

But. So, like, I like where I'm at. But also, I. There's a part of me that's like, oh, who knows? Maybe. Maybe I meet the guy and it's easy and we have fun, and it's. It then becomes worth it. I'm very open to that happening, but I'm not. I don't ever want to be in a place where I'm trying to force it.

[Host]

What's your biggest red flag?

[Scott Fillmore]

Ooh. Like, from another prisoner. About me?

[Host]

About you.

[Scott Fillmore]

Okay. I get bored really easily.

[Host]

Oh, yeah. That sucks.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. I don't like it.

[Host]

We gotta get over that.

[Scott Fillmore]

I know when that's, like, it's not this person's job to entertain me. That's not your.

[Host]

What bores you?

[Scott Fillmore]

I think the responsibility of, like, other people's emotions.

[Host]

That's deep.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Hey, therapy. It's pretty cool.

[Host]

Yeah. You take. Are you in therapy?

[Scott Fillmore]

I was in therapy for a couple of years to help me get over some of my stuff.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

And that. That was a big one. Is I'm pretty avoidant with relationships because I hate feeling responsible for another person's mood. Yeah. It doesn't feel fair to me.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

What is your biggest red flag about someone else?

[Scott Fillmore]

I think inability to, like, read a room. Just, like, social skills are really important.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And we all have blind spots. I get that. But, like, if. If everybody's giving you social cues of, like, shut up or let's get out of here or, you know, like, that kind of stuff. And.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And you either willfully ignore it or don't pick up on it at all. That really bothers me.

[Host]

I used to call people dumb.

[Scott Fillmore]

Ooh.

[Host]

But I have turned it around to saying, read the room.

[Scott Fillmore]

Ooh.

[Host]

So that's my new way.

[Scott Fillmore]

That's good. That's good.

[Host]

Dumb bitch.

[Scott Fillmore]

Dumb bitch. Hey. Catch the vibe, you stupid slut?

[Host]

Yeah. So I used to have a bad habit of just being like, you dumb bitch. And then people were like, you know, you can't just, like, go around telling people that they're a dumb bitch. I'm like, well, you need to read the room.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

And they're like, well, then just say that. Just say, like, you need to read the room. I'm like, that is nicer. So now, if I ever tell you, read the room. Oh, no, I'm calling you a dumb.

[Scott Fillmore]

That's good to know. It's. I'm. I'm glad we've got that on the table.

[Host]

A lot of the dumb bitch. I just miss saying it so long.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, yeah, there is a little bit.

[Host]

Doesn't it feel good?

[Scott Fillmore]

Sometimes people need to hear that they're being a dumb bitch.

[Host]

They do. I don't think enough people are saying, yeah, we.

[Scott Fillmore]

We are in a era of, like, tiptoeing around feelings. And sometimes you need to be told that you suck.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

It's good for you to be told that you suck.

[Host]

I agree.

[Scott Fillmore]

Everyone sucks sometimes.

[Host]

At one point or another, everyone does suck.

[Scott Fillmore]

Big time. And I have some. If more people had told me that I sucked in different situations, I think I would be a better person.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Definitely easier to be around.

[Host]

I think I'm hyper aware of myself sometimes.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. I am in my head about it now. I'm very scared of being the annoying guy.

[Host]

Yeah. I take things too far.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh.

[Host]

Like whether it's jokes or I'll be in a conversation and I'll just talk about it a little too much. Like the dumb bitch thing. Like Once was enough, but I had to say it four times.

[Scott Fillmore]

Of course. Get your point across. Make sure that they heard you.

[Host]

And so. Yeah. For the people in the back.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Hey, guys.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Dumb bitch right here. Yeah.

[Host]

So I. And I will go out of my way to make an apology sometimes.

[Scott Fillmore]

Okay.

[Host]

And I'm like. I'm like, hey, I need this person's phone number or I'll ask someone. Like, hey, hey.

[Scott Fillmore]

That rules.

[Host]

Was I too much whenever this happened?

[Scott Fillmore]

Dude. It's. It's something I've really been working on. I'm sorry to call you, dude. Hey, everyone's a dude. Something I've really been working on is. Is owning when I'm the problem.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And if I've got, like, beef with somebody, and in comedy in, like, this world, there's so much drama and everybody's, like, fighting and feuding and whatever, and I'm. I'm over that. And so I'm trying to do that more of, like, if I feel the tension, I'll call him and be like, what's going on?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

What did I do?

[Host]

I'll reach out.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

And just be like, hey, I'm. I don't know if I was too much or not, but I just want to let you know that if I was, I'm sorry.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Own it.

[Host]

But if I wasn't and you like me, then we're best friends.

[Scott Fillmore]

Exactly.

[Host]

So it'll go both ways.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well. And I think just taking that step to, like, communicate a little bit with. With anybody is. It's kind of rare. And it, nine times out of 10, makes you better friends with that person.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

And it's. It's worth a little, like, awkwardness or uncomfortableness to just be like, hey, I'm. I don't know what I said, but if I said it, I'm like, let's get it out. Let's.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Scott Fillmore]

Let's clear the air.

[Host]

I never want to hurt anyone's feelings.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

And a lot of times I will. I will be in the process of making a joke.

[Scott Fillmore]

Sure.

[Host]

And it's just funny. And then I'll just say something that just. I just can't hold it back.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

And then that's the one. That's the one where I'm like.

[Scott Fillmore]

I'm assuming this is probably more often with people that aren't comedians.

[Host]

Yeah. Like, I'll be in a setting with. Because you kind of forget a couple people.

[Scott Fillmore]

You forget that most people don't talk to each other the way comics talk to each other.

[Host]

I'll have like some people. Like, I'll have. This happened to me recently. I was at a party and I had two girls that were comics that I really enjoyed that I was like, bantering with. And then three other girls came into our conversation. One who I know outside of comedy, and two who I didn't know, but I was already going at it with the two comics. And then these three other girls walk up and I just sort of like wrapped them all into what we were talking about and it was like a tidal wave hit them and I was like, oh, yeah. Like I could have done better at.

[Scott Fillmore]

Introducing them to the Clash by the Hose. That was already going.

[Host]

Yeah. So that was like. And then at the end of the night, I went up to the two girls I didn't really know, and it was like a long way around just trying to talk to them and let them know that I was cool and not this total own it. Yeah, but. Woof.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

That's like a classic example of something.

[Scott Fillmore]

I would do, but also how you handle it. That's good. That's good. I respect that.

[Host]

Thank you.

[Scott Fillmore]

I. I think that's really cool when people follow through.

[Host]

Yeah. Own their.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. I bet you're a really good girlfriend.

[Host]

I.

[Scott Fillmore]

Or wife or. I don't know what the deal is with. With you and your.

[Host]

I'm married.

[Scott Fillmore]

You're married?

[Host]

I'm married.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, then I bet you're a great girlfriend.

[Host]

Thanks. It depends on who I'm dating, really. I've been a real shit girlfriend before and I've been like, way too good.

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

So I really can go both ways.

[Scott Fillmore]

Okay. Hey, going both ways, Pretty cool.

[Host]

Would you consider yourself a good boyfriend?

[Scott Fillmore]

No, I'm a. Thank I.

[Host]

Way before me, I was like, oh.

[Scott Fillmore]

God, I'm a terrible boyfriend. I'm really bad.

[Host]

Why are you a bad boyfriend?

[Scott Fillmore]

I think I'm emotionally selfish.

[Host]

That's okay. I wish I was.

[Scott Fillmore]

Well, then tell all the guys I'm dating that it's okay.

[Host]

They need to learn to read the room.

[Scott Fillmore]

Hey, I'm the boss and only my feelings matter. No, I. Can you imagine why I'm single? I'm trying to be better about it. I just. I don't know what it is about. I think it's because I was like the youngest brother. It was. I never got attention from my parents, really, until all my brothers graduated.

[Host]

And then. And then.

[Scott Fillmore]

And then I got too much attention from my parents. But yeah, I just like. I have a really hard time with. With like being the. Like the real stuff. I can have Fun, you know, I'm a fun boyfriend, but, like, when you need the real support, I'm like, yikes.

[Host]

My mom's calling.

[Scott Fillmore]

She says you suck.

[Host]

Well, would you consider yourself romantic?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, big time. Yeah.

[Host]

What is the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone?

[Scott Fillmore]

Ooh, I. I like the hair flip. Stop. I made a picnic. I, like, cooked a whole lunch, dinner thing. Bottle of wine, packed a basket. And I took a guy. We drove up a mountain, and I took him to, like, a secret spot that I would go hiking at, like, very few people knew about. I had this little, like, homemade bridge over a river, and I put the blanket out and we did a picnic right there.

[Host]

Oh, that's cute.

[Scott Fillmore]

Up in the middle of the wilderness. It was really very cute.

[Host]

Did you know him? Was?

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

Okay.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

This wasn't like, a one.

[Scott Fillmore]

No, it was a guy I'd been dating for a little while.

[Host]

That is cute.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

What is the most romantic thing someone's ever done for you?

[Scott Fillmore]

Oh, it's a good question. I was dating a guy for a while, and we had to spend the summer apart. I had to go for my job. I had to, like, go to Ohio. And he put together, like, a really fun, very personalized, like, care package for my birthday. Oh. And it had all these little gifts and a note with every gift of why they bought it. And I was like, this is pretty, pretty sweet. That is very, very much showed that they knew me. It wasn't just, like, knickknacks or it was, like, all stuff that I had mentioned liking or it was. It was very cool.

[Host]

That is cool.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah.

[Host]

Well, where can people find you?

[Scott Fillmore]

People could find me on Instagram. I'm Grindr on Grindr. Scott Fillmore comedy on both of them on Tick Tock. I'm Grinder and Grill.

[Host]

No, you're not. I'm dead.

[Scott Fillmore]

Um, and then my forthcoming cooking show, Cooking with Comics, will be. We filmed the first episode last night, actually.

[Host]

No way.

[Scott Fillmore]

Me and my roommate, Nick.

[Host]

Oh, my gosh. Fun.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, it's gonna be fun.

[Host]

That's so cool. Well, thank you for coming on my show.

[Scott Fillmore]

Thank you for having me.

[Host]

This was so fun. I learned so much.

[Scott Fillmore]

Yeah, well, I gotta show you Grindr when we get outta here.

[Host]

I can't wait, guys, thank you for watching this episode. We'll see you next time. First date. Baby, are you really drinking a glass of milk with dinner? First date. I can't wait. You told your mom about me? Just say you're ready. Delete my number. First date. Your parents are your roommates. First Date Arc Raiders A multiplayer extraction adventure video game set in a lethal yet vibrant future Earth. As a Raider scavenging the remnants of a derelict world, you you settle into an underground settlement. Hoping to thrive. You jump on the chance to start over, but doing so means you must return to the surface, where arc machines roam and survivors motives remain dangerously unclear. But if you're brave enough, who knows what you might find? Pre order now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series XS, and PC available October 30th.