Jason Ellis - Episode 1121

Summary

Fitzdog Radio - Episode 1121: Jason Ellis

Released December 24, 2025
Host: Greg Fitzsimmons
Guest: Jason Ellis

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Episode Overview

In this riveting and deeply candid episode, Greg Fitzsimmons welcomes back Jason Ellis—professional skateboarder, radio host, comedian, and former athlete—for a freewheeling, intense, and hilarious conversation. Ellis pulls no punches as he opens up about his struggles with addiction, his traumatic past, career pivots, Skankfest and comedic boxing, and the ongoing process of self-reinvention and healing. Both host and guest bring energy, honesty, and plenty of laughs, mixing wild showbiz stories with vulnerable personal revelations.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Greg’s New York Holiday Adventures (00:12–14:37)

• Greg shares tales from his New York holiday, reflecting on family dynamics and holiday traditions.
• Recounts chance meeting with Tom O'Neill and running into a former girlfriend's daughter, leading to an existential moment.
• Highlights of visiting iconic NYC comedy venues (The Stand, Comedy Cellar) and watching comedians like Bonnie McFarlane, Keith Robinson, Sam Morril, Dave Attell.
• Affectionate story about Esti, the legendary Comedy Cellar booker, and her support early in Greg’s career.
• Observations on NYC’s changing demographics and nostalgia for "old New York."

Quote:
“Esti ... was really like a den mom for all the young comics. And she’s still there. 30 fucking years. ... She gave me most of the nights that I put in for a veil. ... I was fucking broke. And she was just always so sweet and edgy and I always liked her taste in comedy.” (07:13)

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Jason Ellis: Teeth, Energy, and Radio Show Stories (14:38–22:14)

• Greg opens by asking about Jason’s gold teeth and his philosophy: “Anything that gets knocked out goes back in gold.” (14:47)
• They reflect on the evolution of Jason's on-air persona—from aggressive, take-no-prisoners interview style to a more centered presence.
• Jason recalls blowouts with past radio guests, especially Andrew Dice Clay, leading to a near-physical confrontation on-air due to Jason's blunt honesty about Dice’s son's band.

Quote:
“He tried to fight me... I’ve never been a shock jock. Like, I don’t start fights. ... But it’s in me. I’ll fight you to the end if you want to.” – Jason (21:15)

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Skankfest, Sobriety, and Onstage Energy (24:07–30:07)

• Discussion of Skankfest's unique energy: comedian fights, naked roasts, plentiful substances.
• Jason shares discomfort with environments like naked roasts and temptation in those scenes:
  “I’m a recovering addict and sex addict, and it was just not healthy for me to be around.” (26:25)
• Greg and Jason debate the impact of substance use on performance, citing Dave Chappelle as an example.
• Ellis shares how sobriety has improved his craft and life:
  “I’m 54. I’m not as good of an athlete as I used to be. ... But because I’m sober ... I can, I’m so much safer ... now at 54, than I was when I was 38.” (28:40)
• The pair reflect on comedy as a meritocracy—hard work and honesty trump networking.

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Trauma, Therapy, and the Cycle of Abuse (33:06–41:46)

• Jason opens up about being molested as a child and teenager by both men and women, and processing what happened to him later in life:
  “You get to 50 and you get sober and you start analyzing all the things you’ve been running from. ... That’s molestation power. Someone’s 35 or 40 and they sleep with a 16-year-old. That ain’t cool, right?” (33:41)
• Talks about difficult therapy experiences and how trauma becomes part of a behavioral cycle, sometimes even becoming addictive.
• Discussion on fear of perpetuating the cycle, protective instincts, and fantasies of vigilantism against abusers.

Quote:
“I have a trigger where... there’s people in comedy that have done things to younger people. I don’t want to be in the same room as them. I’m scared of what I’ll do.” – Jason (39:28)

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Acting, Stunt Work, and Guinness World Records (41:22–47:08)

• Jason recounts acting in "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and "CHiPs" and how he ended up with roles due to his reputation for being able to take a hit.
• Reflections on learning to read scripts, doing his own dangerous stunts, and differentiating himself from typical Hollywood hopefuls.
• Humorous banter about punchability, teaching boxing, and men overestimating their fighting abilities.

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Comedy Boxing – Ellismania and Fighting as Therapy (47:08–54:08)

• Ellismania explained: comedic boxing events mixing amateurs and pros, often with silly or dangerous stunts (e.g., fighting with blindfolds or shock collars).
• Jason views these events as empowering for participants, giving them “a confidence that you can’t ever take.”
• Skankfest’s fight with "Uncle Laser" and the dynamics of tough-guy comedy culture.

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Sex, OnlyFans, Addiction, and Hitting Rock Bottom (59:04–69:41)

• Jason’s candid recounting of his explorations with sex, gender, and OnlyFans—chasing new sexual boundaries much like he pursued skateboarding stunts.
• Details rock-bottom moments (including traumatic, bizarre porn shoots) and how trauma seeping into his sexual decisions mirrored cycles from his youth.
• Extreme honesty about bestiality-adjacent encounters, witnessing predatory and unsafe behavior in the adult industry, and the shame and clarity that followed.

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Kratom, Sober Living, and Family Healing (69:41–74:00)

• Greg and Jason discuss the dangers of kratom (a legal, opiate-like substance), its role in Jason’s divorce, and the severe withdrawal.
• Jason frames his recovery and sense of happiness as not about achievement or external validation, but repairing relationships with family and self.
• “I’ve never been happier with nothing. ... My relationship with my children has never been better. My relationship with their mother has never been better.” (74:00)

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The Fine Line Between Persona and Self (74:28–78:24)

• Discusses the challenge of maintaining a crazy, vulnerable persona onstage without letting it compromise actual recovery and health.
• Value of serving others through sharing stories of addiction and survival.
• The commitment and loyalty of Jason’s fanbase—a different level of connection than usual for comedians.

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Notable Quotes

• “You can mess with a Chinaman, it’s over.” – Greg (23:46) (Typical of his boundary-pushing quips)
• “Sex is a sport to me. ... How do I break barriers?” – Jason (59:11)
• “If it helps one person because they can relate to it and it gets them out and gets them free — then you can take everything from me.” – Jason (76:51)
• “No matter how tough it gets … that’s the thing I have that the rest of their family doesn’t have. ... You never stop.” – Jason (93:32)

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Memorable Moments & Fastballs with Fitz (82:53 onwards)

• Greg’s “Fastballs with Fitz” segment features rapid personal questions: arrests, unfinished sets (Jason: “No. You don't walk off.”), who should give his eulogy (“My son.”).
• Candid stories of getting arrested for DUI in America and bike theft in Australia.
• Reflections on apologizing to and repairing relationships with Katie and his children's mother; recognition of amends made and acknowledgement of mistakes.

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Important Timestamps

• 00:12–14:37: Greg’s holiday stories, NYC comedy scene reflections
• 14:38–22:14: Ellis’s radio past, Dice Clay blowup, aggression and honesty in media
• 24:07–30:07: Skankfest, naked roast stories, sobriety’s impact on performance
• 33:06–41:46: Trauma, therapy, abuse cycles, and recovery mindset
• 41:22–47:08: Acting, stunts, world records; punchability and masculinity
• 47:08–54:08: Ellismania, fighting as transformative experience
• 59:04–69:41: Sexual addiction, OnlyFans, bottoming out moments, adult industry dangers
• 69:41–74:00: Kratom dangers, sobriety, family healing
• 82:53-End: Rapid fire questions, honest life reflections, the importance of perseverance, apology, and growth

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Tone and Language

The conversation is raw, unsparing, often profane, yet generously laced with humor and insight—very much in keeping with both Greg Fitzsimmons’ and Jason Ellis’s comedic and personal styles. There are abrupt turns between dark revelations and lighthearted banter, but throughout, the honesty and lack of self-pity are striking.

Jason’s characteristic self-awareness, competitive drive, and compassion guide the conversation’s deepest moments. Greg is a warm, quick-witted, and probing host, unafraid to challenge or joke hard.

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Closing Thoughts

This episode stands as a prime example of “honest, funny interviews,” merging two veteran hosts in a dialogue that is as cathartic as it is entertaining. For listeners, it’s a wild ride: part confessional, part masterclass, part stand-up green room gossip, and all heart.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Happy holidays to you. Hope you're not going to have too much drama with your families. I realized that Jesus Christ and God his father. There's a reason why they put tryptophan in the turkey. It's so everybody stops fighting. It calms everybody down. I put a little tryptophan in the gravy just to give it that extra little boost. Put on some football. Now. My family actually is pretty low on drama. We got a good family. My cousins. I grew up very close to all of them, and I'll see them. My. Sadly, most of my aunts and uncles are gone. It's just my mom and her sister Dolores, who's one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. And yeah, brother, sister will be there. Love my. My sister's husband. Anyway, long story. Good. It'll be good. It'll be good. I'm in New York for two weeks. My wife and kids are in South Africa for my wife's nephew's wedding. And I stayed back because my. This is so complicated. My wife's mother's companion slash boyfriend is too sick to travel. So I said I would stay back and watch him so that Aaron's mom could go to her grandson's wedding. So am I staying with Johnny? No, because I'm staying in Virginia, the mother's apartment. Who lives ready for this one building next door to Johnny. They live. They've been together for probably 30 or 40 years. And every night they meet downstairs and they walk out to a restaurant and they have dinner seven nights a week, and then they go back to their own apartments. And it works beautifully. And if you can afford it, apparently, this is the way to go. This is a very Manhattan couple, but they're not. It's weird, but it's great. And I fucking love Johnny. We just. We watch sports and we get takeout dinner from the best restaurants on the Upper west side and talk philosophy. He's a philosopher. His father was the head of the philosophy department at Yale university for, like, 40 years. Johnny's a philosopher and a writer. He's a lawyer. He was the head of Legal Services for the elderly, which helped old people from being evicted for his whole life. He wrestled at Yale. And I have a blast when we have a lot of laughs, a lot of raunchy talk, and I'm loving being in New York. Oh, during Christmas. It's the best. Ran it to Tom O', Neill, author of Chaos. Totally randomly. I'm walking down 16th Street. I look up and I Literally had to rub my eyes like it was a cartoon.

[A]

Like, what?

[B]

So I said. And we had been texting during the day, like, you want to get together tonight? So hung out with him at this old bar in Little Italy that we used to hang out in when we lived down there as neighbors. And, oh, I listen to this, and then I see a very attractive young woman, you know, maybe 30 or so. Not grotesquely young, but enough for me to go, huh, She's. She's pretty hot. And then I look at who she's walking with, and it is a girl in college that I dated and Rebecca. And now I am checking out her daughter, who, by the way, is older than she was when we dated in college. So. We're existential. Maybe I recognize Rebecca in her, but I was like, oh, this is pretty girl. Didn't stop. Did not stop. It was one of those things where I was late. I was going to see my son in Brooklyn. I was running to the subway. It would have been a half hour talk. So I just moved on. Sorry, Rebecca. If you listen to the podcast, you look great. Daughter looks better. You look better than her when you were 20 in college. You look better than your daughter does now. Does that make it. Does that make it better? Hanging out at the clubs? But it just. New York is great. I talk to everybody, talk to people on the subway, every waitress, pet and dogs. And then being at the clubs, I was at the stand one night and, you know, just. He just talked to me. Bonnie McFarlane, by the way, is. I've always thought she was funny, but God damn, she was funny. The other night, she did this joke about dealing with conspiracy theorists and flat earthers, and she's like, I'm not a flat earther. I guess. I don't know. I guess I had a globe. I was a kid. I guess this guy had a poster that's just a smart joke. Went to the Cellar, saw Keith Robinson, who I always love seeing Sam Morel, Davitel. Who else? Bunch of people, I can't even name them all. Had some fun sets. Saw Esti, who books the seller, who I literally haven't seen in years. And I was so fucking excited, I. I almost had my tears almost welled up in my eyes. I have so much affection for this woman who championed me when I was a young comic in New York. I'm going back 30 years. She started booking me at the Cellar all the years I was in New York. She gave me most of the nights that I put in for a veil. She gave me Shows every night. And I got by on that money and eating free dinner upstairs at the Olive Tree Cafe. Maybe it was half off, but it was a meal that I needed at that point in my career. I was fucking broke. And she was just always so sweet and edgy and I always liked her taste in comedy and. And she was really like a den mom for all the young comics. And she's still there. 30 fucking. Well, she's probably doing it 40 years booking that club seven nights a week. Not just that club, there's. There's three other clubs that she books by herself. She's from Israel and she's a character. Anyway, it was great seeing her. What else? In New York? Oh, and then I did. We Might be Drunk. I don't know if I was supposed to talk about this, but they had a surprise. Guess fuck it. Nobody listens to this podcast. We had this kid named Rizzler. The Rizzler came in. Or is it just rizzler? He's like 11. He's this pudgy little kid and he. He touches his face like this. Anyway, I never heard of him. And he comes in and these guys, Mark and Sam were freaking out about it. They were so excited. And. And we ended up. Atel was sitting in on the podcast and we were very inappropriate with Rizzler. His father was in the background and I was like, how is he not pulling him off of this podcast right now. Oh my God, I laugh so hard. I don't know when that comes out. Soon. Saw oh, Mary, which is my, my, it's the best show on Broadway right now. Jane Kirkowski Kierkowski, whatever her name is, you know, from 30 Rock. She stars in it. It's hilarious. I took my son, that was his birthday present from October and. And then I went back to his apartment. He's got a very cool apartment in Bushwick, which is a great spot to be a young person in right now. Lots of dive bars, very diverse. It reminds me of the old New York. Manhattan is just a. It's just boring. It's just. It's a lot of rich white kids. And you know, there's the crazy. I feel like the homeless. The homeless people are crazier. And then the rest of it is just trust fund kids. Hung out with my brother in law, Shahid, and my two nephews played some ping pong on 99th street and. Yeah, and talked to my wife. They're in South Africa. My daughter's sick, my son's sick, my sister in law's sick. You go all that way, and then you get fucking sick for the trip. Oh. So hopefully it goes well. Anyway, what else? Yeah, so I was on the 4th street subway platform, and there's these preppy kids, like, right out of a. Out of a movie script, these prep school kids, they had on like the, you know, the penny loafers and the. And the khakis with the crease and oxford shirts and blazers and crew root cuts. And one of them starts pissing in front of everybody on the tracks from the subway platform. And I said, hey, motherfucker, you can get pushed on the tracks doing that shit in New York. And then the other two guys looked at me like, yeah, we know he's a problem. And I go, you shouldn't hang out with that guy. I go, based on that, you should never hang out with that kid again. And. And they're like, yeah, we know. And then they fucking left him there. They left him on the tracks. I was like, good, good. That kid needs to. He needs to learn the lesson. All right, let's get to it. Shows coming up, the Meadowlands at. In New Jersey at bananas. December 26th and 27th. Come celebrate Christmas being over. Cleveland, hilarity is January 8th through the 10th. Atlanta punchline January 15th through 17. Austin, the mothership. Sacramento, Philly, Lexington, Kentucky, Houston, Fort Worth. Come out, we'll see you there. Fitzdog.com for tickets. Also, I want to remind you, this is the time of year you may have some leftovers, you may not. But it's tough to make extra food. You're done cooking. It's time for somebody to do it for you. That's why you got tempo, balance, fresh meals that are actually good for you. Look, they taste amazing, like restaurant quality. And yet they just take a couple minutes to make. So don't skip meals. I know you're sad now. Maybe you're laying on the couch, but you can get dishes like southern mushroom gravy, chicken. That is some comfort food. How about an enchilada beef bowl? That is the perfect meal. They have so many choices. I'm supposed to tell you how many choices they have, but I think they have like 20 or 30 choices. You can pick from every different type. Maybe you want protein packed meals up to 30 grams of protein. They got calorie conscious meals, carb conscious, fiber rich. It's flexible. Tempo was the official partner of the 2025 CrossFit Games. So you know that they are athletes level. Oh, yeah. 20 recipes a week. Perfectly proportioned. So do it fresh. Chef crafted meals right to Your door for a limited time. Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com fitzdog that's tempomeals.com fitzdogs for 60% off your first box. Tempo meals.com fitzdog rules and restrictions may apply. I have to warn you, my guest today is Jason Ellis. He's an Australian, you know, but they're fun. He is the host of the Jason Ellis show on Sirius XM satellite Radio. He is a professional skateboarder. He was an auto racer. He sings. At one point, he had the Guinness Book of World Record for the biggest drop on a skateboard. 70ft. He used to single Ellis mania, which was a crazy. It was kind of a precursor to skank fest, but just boxing matches and insanity. Anyway, he's. He's the best. I love this guy. He's been on my podcast many times. I've been on his and we had a really good time last week. And here is a recording of a conversation between myself and Jason Ellis. Enjoy and hey, happy holidays. Welcome to the show again. I feel like you were just here.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Jason Ellis.

[A]

Yeah, I'm back.

[B]

Are those. Now the. The teeth, they're real.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They get knocked out. Anything gets knocked out.

[B]

Anything that gets knocked out goes back in gold.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. And how do we get seven of those now?

[A]

Something like that.

[B]

This one got knocked out when I was ready for this. 13 years old, and it's the same.

[A]

You need to put a gold.

[B]

Nobody sees it. Gold.

[A]

Yes. It's time. You can do it now. There was a time where you couldn't do it because you're too white. But now, sky's the limit, dude. If I had the money, all my teeth would be gold.

[B]

Here's the thing about me. And you and I have known each other for 15 years. You knew the old Fitz dog.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Now you got the Prius driving. Yes. You had a way different energy fair. You were. You were on the balls of your feet, ready to brawl. Like, you had a lot of guests that would not come back to your show after the first interview because you came hard IP and people couldn't handle that.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't care who.

[B]

Who were some of the. Were some of the big blowouts.

[A]

I guess that didn't tell me, but I know Andrew Dice Clay still hates me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that wasn't on purpose. That was an accident.

[B]

Was that from the show or in person?

[A]

In person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He came on. He was friends with my boss's boss, and my boss was like, I Want. We're gonna. I got pitched him and I said no. And then my boss's boss brings me into an office to have a meeting. I don't really talk to him, you know, He's. He ain't got time for me.

[B]

Is that serious? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Tim say no.

[B]

Tim Sabian.

[A]

Tim's a good guy. Who's Ross?

[B]

I know who. Ross. Yeah, Ross. Zay Pan. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He's a nice guy.

[B]

He was a Howard Stern buddy. Yeah.

[A]

And he got sent to la, so he was mad that he was in LA because they kind of demoted him.

[B]

Oh, he wasn't happy. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So he was like, I now got to deal with this, you know? I mean, I'm like, fair enough, dude. I get your angle. And he's like, why don't you want him on? I'm like, he's just not a fit for us, you know? Like, I don't want to do that. At the time, I just didn't think it would fit for what I was doing, you know? And he was like, well, I. You should have him on. I'm like, oh, should I? You know? And he's like. And I was like, no. And he's like, you're having him on. I'm like, don't tell me what to do.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It got into a little. He got a little heated on me. And I was like, all right, if it's gonna make you happy, I'll do it. And he's like, he wants to play his kids band. He wants them on the show. And I'm like, no, wait, his kids band? Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, yeah. So I say no. Right. And he's like, will you play their song? And I was like, dude, because this is the thing with those guys. They never listened to me. They never listened to the show.

[B]

Meanwhile, you're the biggest show on.

[A]

That's the only reason they put up with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is because people were listening. They. They did not really like me. That's. This is my opinion, and rightfully so. I didn't. I'm not a corporate guy. I was not a team player. I was like, you guys suck. You know, I was.

[B]

But that's kind of the vibe of Howard. He was always anti establishment. Yeah.

[A]

But anyway, he comes on, and I'm a fan. Not. I wasn't that huge of a fan, but I respect anybody that's done levels of what he's accomplished. You know, he comes on, the interview's going great, and then he's like, I'm gonna bring my kids on. And I'm like, what?

[B]

Wait, who comes on? Ross?

[A]

No dice.

[B]

Oh, he did? Oh, got it.

[A]

He came on, and then he's like, I'm gonna have bring the kids in. And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, bring him in the studio. We're gonna play their music. And I'm like, dude, okay. You know, And I'm like, I don't like that you're telling me what to do with my show, but I can tell you're the. You're friends with my boss's boss, and you're swinging your dick right now. And I still had that attitude where I was like, I don't need any of you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, you can all go yourselves, you know? But I'm like, all right, because it's live on the air. And I'm like, I don't want to get into it. So he brings them on, and they're nice enough, and they play the music, and it's not good. That's it. And I've got fans. I got millions.

[B]

You're saying Andrew Dice Kids Band is not good? I mean, just for the record, for people that are watching for the first.

[A]

I hate that. I mean, because this is going to make him hate me even more. I don't hate him. Yeah, but they came on, and all I said was, I played it for a little bit, I stopped it. And I go, you guys are not signed by a record label yet, are you? And they go, no. And I go, well, yeah, you're not ready yet. And they took that because I didn't say. Because I did. My fans were going to be like, when they know how I talk about things, they know this is not, like, really good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they know that Jason. If they weren't here, Jason would destroy this band.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But instead, all I said is, you're not, like, signed with the record label yet? And they go, no. And I go, yeah, well, you're not ready. I can tell they took that.

[B]

And this is coming from a guy who has had albums come out that did.

[A]

Well, I did have a. I did. Was signed to a.

[B]

Right. So you're not coming out of nowhere.

[A]

And even then, I would still say my band was shit.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

These guys were not.

[B]

Well, that's what your listeners count on from you, is your truth. Yeah. And I've seen personalities, whether it's tv, You've seen TV hosts change. You've seen radio show hosts change, and their audience just is like. They leave. They're like, I need somebody telling the truth. In my life.

[A]

That's how the show got big in the first place. I was a DJ that just said, this is the worst band I've ever heard, but I gotta play it. So here's these pieces of shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And people were like, this guy hasn't said one nice thing about anything he's played. Yeah, I gotta hear what he says next. And then my boss was like, hey, man, stop talking bad about the music. Use MySpace and see who they are so you don't have to say anything bad about the music. So then I see the douches, and they look like dickheads. So now I'm like, look, these guys not only suck, they look like dickheads. And people were like, this is funny. I like this guy. And that's how the show turned into a talk show. They let me talk because there were so many people listening to me being a DJ. So now it's like 10 years, 15 years later, and Dice is like, listen to this band. I'm like, they're not very good. I didn't say anything. What I usually would, I just said.

[B]

Was there a blow up?

[A]

Big time. He tried to fight me.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

And everybody loved it. But I. I've never been a shock jock. Like, I don't start fights. I don't want to start fights, and I don't have. Like, I grew up in a. Like, if you get like that with me. I don't. I'll fight you. Sure. You know, like, I don't now. I won't. But back then, if you, like, talk like you're gonna do something, yeah, we can do it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know, like. And I'll finish it, dude. Like, I won't stop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'll regret it afterwards, but it's in me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll fight you to the end if you want to.

[B]

And have you seen Dice Clay since this happened?

[A]

Oh, never, dude. I terrified because he was so mad. The kids were mad at me. They stormed out. And then he stood up over the desk, and that's when I was like. I stopped talking because now, you know, he's like, I've been. I've. I've fought bigger people than you. And I was like, no, you haven't. You know, because you're not. You don't know me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, I've been training for 20 years, and I'm. I've. I'm glitchy. Like, there's something off in me. Like, I will go, dude, he probably.

[B]

Went to that gym in Brooklyn where everybody goes because they Think it's legit.

[A]

Everybody's.

[B]

And. And he probably sparred with some guys that were fans.

[A]

Everybody thinks that they're tough. All men think they're tough.

[B]

I think I'm tough.

[A]

I know. I know. You've got an anger problem. You've probably taken care of that now, right?

[B]

Very much so. But it still comes out.

[A]

Right. You had. I remember you talking about road rage, where I was like, holy, you got issues, dude. Yeah, but I had that. You know, I took care of that.

[B]

You've got the road rage mixed with the discipline of having really trained in martial arts and boxing.

[A]

Well, the good thing about that is I fought UFC guy. I fought, like, world champions. Guys that have the belt, and. And they've, like. I've hit them with everything I've got, and they've congratulated me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it didn't do anything because they could kill me. And I'm like, okay, you're not as tough as you think you are. And it's happened to me hundreds of times.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I am aware that there are many people out there that can destroy me quite easily on the streets of normal people. I can do that to you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's not a thing that I'm proud of, or. My only thing is, like, if you pick on somebody, if you're harassing a woman, I'll. I will. I will stop you.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But that's all.

[B]

It's good for little people. Yeah. Whenever I see somebody messing around with a little person, I will. I will jump right in.

[A]

If you kick a midget.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Fitz Dog and Alice are in there.

[B]

Right. Or Asian people.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You mess with a Chinaman, it's over.

[A]

I look like I should join in this argument, but I'm not going to.

[B]

This is the postmodern.

[A]

Asian people know karate, so you got to watch out for them. There you go. There.

[B]

By the way, I'm not sick. I'm over a sickness, and I just have residual phlegm.

[A]

Skank Fest, baby. Woo.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Speaking of fighting, you fought at Skank Fest. Now, if people don't know what Skank Fest is, it's essentially, you take all the comedians that people go, that guy's offensive to me. And you put them together and you add mushrooms in the green room. LSD being handed out naked. Roast Battle. A ring set up where comedians fight each other. An after party at the barely legal club.

[A]

Didn't go.

[B]

Never went to that.

[A]

I don't do any of that anymore.

[B]

No. I'm done with strip clubs.

[A]

I actually Had a bit of a. I will never do the naked roast again either. Dude, I left.

[B]

Can I talk about your penis briefly? And I. When I say briefly, I mean the opposite of briefly.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

You have. You have a shotgun down there. And not only is it long, but it's wide. You have girth, length.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And it's a decent.

[A]

Should we be racist again? Like, this is terrible. Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I mean, yeah. Wow.

[A]

Thanks, Greg.

[B]

Although I have to say this. You blew the room away until. What. What's the guy's name? The black guy that came out.

[A]

Big a dick. Good, good.

[B]

I mean, I hate. Let's talk about racial stereotypes, but Jamal. Is that his name?

[A]

Yeah, He's a good dude. Funny guy.

[B]

He's great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He started at the store and now he's at. Oh, what a body. See the ass on him?

[A]

I did not. I didn't look at anybody in the naked robes.

[B]

We had a conversation after this. I saw you at about 2:00 in the morning, and you were complaining and you were like, you know, I'm sitting there. There's this girl who has an OnlyFans page. She's got a pretty rocking body, and she was sitting next to you. You were judging. So you guys were behind the table, and you're sitting there and you go. And I got this porn star and she's staring at my penis and she's trying to give me lines of coke, and she's brushing against my cock with the spoon with the line of coke. I go. I go. Do you realize how many guys with regular jobs in the Midwest would love to be in this position right now? And you're complaining about it.

[A]

I'm a recovering addict and sex addict, and it was just not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Healthy for me to be around.

[B]

Right. You're hiding.

[A]

I'm happy for them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'm not supposed to be there. And I didn't realize that until around about then.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I thought that particular night, the host of the show started out really sharp and funny, and then the show literally went into a coma because he was. I don't know if he was drunk or whatever, but he just started rambling and slurring and slurring and he's got 2,000 people are in the audience and the show just went stillborn. Yeah.

[A]

It was not cool. That's another reason why I was like, I don't want to be here.

[B]

Yeah. Here's the thing. If you're at Skankfest, we get it. You're going to party a lot Be a pro. When you go on stage, be sober, be prepared.

[A]

Slushy after.

[B]

It's. There's nothing entertaining about watching somebody who's fucked up.

[A]

Yeah. But that's the problem with people that, you know, use that stuff. It, you know, it gets a hold of you and you start hurting people and hurting yourself.

[B]

Yeah. I look at Chappelle everybody talks about. There was a while where everybody was like, he's the best comedian in America. Not when you smoke pot before you go on stage and then drink a bottle of tequila while you're performing. And you do a three hour set and then you get. Louis CK gets up and does an hour that doesn't miss a beat, that's sharp and thought out and tagged and turns. You would never expect. Like, there's no comparison.

[A]

No. No, it's not even a.

[B]

And Chappelle may be by far a better performer, because here's the thing I'm realizing more and more about standup is it's what's happening before the punchline. If you're an orator, if you're a storyteller, if you're a presence, that's 90 of it these days. It used to be 50 of it. Now it's so much more about people buying into your narrative and your flow.

[A]

Yep. I agree.

[B]

And Chappelle has that like nobody else.

[A]

Yeah, I. I've, you know, I was a professional athlete, so, you know, since I got sober, I'm 54. I'm not as good of an athlete as I used to be. This is life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But because I'm sober, it's an unfortunate thing to realize when you're 50, that my whole skateboard career and fight career, I could have been so much better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I can. I'm so much safer on my skateboard now at 54, than I was when I was 38.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because I don't. I have more of a whereabouts I can see where everything is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My whole life I've been high.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So with. With comedy. To me, this is the third time I'm lucky enough to, like, be in a game where I love it, I'm passionate about it, and I'm. It doesn't matter that I'm 54. I can still be fast and good at it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But what. How do I go about being good at it? I don't get high before or after or in between. I only think about it all day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I. And I try to do my best every time. And whatever happens, good or bad, I critique the living Shit out of it all night after. And I'm like, how can I make adjustments to be better? Because that's what I'm here to do. Be really good at it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I see everybody else.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And my. Only because I'm a competitor, I go, okay, well, if you guys want to get high in the parking lot, that just means I'm going to. I'm going to catch you. I'm going to pass you.

[B]

Yeah, there's. There's a couple of exceptions of people that do get high. And look, who am I to disparage Chappelle? I'm just saying I wish he was more focused because he has the capacity to be Richard Pryor.

[A]

Do you think that it's because he's so accomplished that now he's kind of coasting?

[B]

I wouldn't call it coasting because I still think he's incredibly creative.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

And he. And he's still.

[A]

Yeah, I still think he's amazing. I think you're talking about this one show you saw, right? He's not doing that every time.

[B]

I can't speak for him. That is a show I saw. But. But I think that there are a couple people who can get high and do very well on stage. And I won't say their names, but then you really have. If you look at a lot of the great comedians, they were very accomplished athletes. They were great musicians. Some of them went to good colleges and were cuda cum laude. Whitney Cummings went to penna cum laude. So I think that there's a work ethic that comes from that background. And. And now I'm talking to this girl. Last night, I'm trying to mentor this girl, and she's, like, talking about management and she's talking about networking. And I'm like, no, if you work hard and you do well at stand up, it will all come to you. This is a meritocracy like no other entertainment. If you're an actor, it's a. It is about schmoozing and network and all that stuff. But if you are the person that. That is getting the biggest laughs, you will get hired and you will move to the next level sooner or later. It's all you got to worry about.

[A]

I think that's the good thing about being accomplished in another facet of life where I've been the worst skateboarder in the world, and I made myself one of the best skateboarders in the world. How did I achieve that? Well, comedy. If you do bad in comedy, you feel bad for yourself to hard to go to sleep that night. Maybe it's a bit of a struggle in the morning, but it's not like the price you pay when you're bad at skateboarding. Like when you go to hospital over and over again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're in the ER all the time and you're doing rehab. Like, that's why I say it all the time. I'm like, you know, if I bomb, I drive home. I don't go to the hospital at all.

[B]

Well, and the other thing is, when you get injured in skateboarding, you can't, as they say, get back up on the horse. Whereas with stand up, they. The next night, I find that if I had a bad set, I. I love when I have a second set that night. Because that's the one you kill.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And that is just like, not an option. Like. And then there's the. You know, I recall these big injuries where I've come back from them, and there's like a fear that you have to get past. I love. I love beating it, but I don't reminisce the times where I've been knocked out and shattered my wrist and had like these crazy surgeries and then I'm back and I'm like, don't fall on your wrist. Don't hit your head again. And then you do the trick that you got hurt on. And the fear of before you go in again to do the one that. That took you out. Like, I don't.

[B]

Well, that's trauma.

[A]

I don't miss that at all.

[B]

That's trauma. Yeah.

[A]

Which is the thing that you get.

[B]

The definition of trauma when you have.

[A]

So much trauma in your life, it'd be. Becomes an addiction.

[B]

Oh, no kidding.

[A]

Yeah. Like the things that I've done in my life, especially like some of the gay stuff, like, it's. It's to relate back to the trauma that happened when I was a child.

[B]

You were molested by your father?

[A]

I was molested by a few people.

[B]

Oh, man. I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, Women, Guys. A couple guys when I was real young. And then when I was a teenager, some women, my dad, my stepmom's friends, slept with a few women. Where I didn't realize at the time, because when, you know, if you're 16, you're like, hell, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you get to 50 and you get sober and you start analyzing all the things you've been running from. And I had. There was a couple that have happened this year when I was like, wait, right. Wait, that's that's, that's molestation power. Someone's 35 or 40 and they sleep with a 16 year old. That ain't cool, right? Son of a bitch. She did that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, at the time I was like, man, I used to brag about it.

[B]

Tell your friends. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

People like you sleeping with her mate.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And you know, my boys would high five me. It was cool.

[B]

Now that was Zach Galifianakis. Galifianakis joke is like, did you hear about the kid who slept with his teacher just died. He got high fived to death.

[A]

Good.

[B]

But yeah, I mean, there's a movie called Perks of being a Wallflower, which you should see. It's about a woman molesting a teenager. And I did. I gave the movie away. But it's very powerful and it's something that isn't talked about enough.

[A]

Dude, I went to a camp. My mom took me to a put me in a camp for, you know, because I was doing bad in school and getting expelled from schools and stuff, being in fights and stuff. And I was 16 and it was a three day camp. And when I went her naturopath, a woman suggested that I go pay had to pay for me to go. And I was there. Everybody there was old and they were having emotional breakdowns and stuff like that.

[B]

Oh, so it was a camp for all ages. Yeah.

[A]

And I was the only one that was young.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. And it was like all these meditation pool, you know, and looking in the mirror, talking to yourself. And I'm 16, I'm like, this is gay. Like, I'm not doing this, but I'll, you know, I gotta be here. And then on the second day, I think it was, they go, we're going to a swimming pool. And I was like, oh, cool. I get to hang out. Like, this is. This sucks. And we go to the pool and it's all rented, booked out. And they go, so we're all getting naked to get in the pool. And I remember being in the, in the locker room going, dude, I don't pull my dick out in front of these people. Like, I'm a kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I wait till everyone leaves and I walk out. And as I walk out, I realize everybody else is already in the pool. And now I gotta walk around the pool naked. And everyone's looking at me and I'm like, dude, this is uncomfortable. And then the leader of it goes, okay, pick a partner. And I'm like, nope. You know, like, I'm not walking over to anybody with no clothes. On. So everyone picks a partner and the only two people are left is me and this like 78 year old dude. Oh dude, yeah dude. And I'm like, He's like, hey. And I'm like, oh, hey. And they go, so you're gonna pick your partner up and cradle him? No, dude, I cradled an 80 year old man naked in a pool and I'm just pissed, like so dark on it. And they go, okay, so switch. So now he's cradling me and it's like a rebirth, they said. And I'm like a rebirth cuz I want to die. I don't understand how this is a birth of any kind. I'm pretty dark and I'm traumatized quite frankly. Like this old dude's dicks touching my back or whatever. I'm like, this is so bad. It ends. The naturopath lady comes over to me, I'm in the corner, like shell shocked. And she comes over, she's like, you enjoying the camp? And I was like, oh yeah, you know, because I don't want to say no. And she got really hairy bush because it was like the 80s.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And her bush is touching my wiener.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, does she know that that's happened? Because she's that close to me and I didn't think anything of it. And then the next day when it's the camp's ending that night, she goes, instead of your mum coming to pick you up, I'll drive you home because it's on the way back to your house. And I was like, okay. So she drives me back. On the way back, she pulls over and has sex with me. Really? And then I don't tell my mom. My mom tells me the next day she wants you to go to the office, she wants to talk to you. And I'm like, maybe she wants to bone again or something, I don't know. Because I don't realize that that's like a scarring situation.

[B]

And you're like 16 at this point.

[A]

Yeah. I go back, she's not there, her husband's there and he walks me into the office and goes, so I know you had sex with my wife yesterday. And I'm gonna tell you this like if this happens again, and once again, my trigger is if you corner me, I have no choice, you know what I mean? And I don't do flight, I do fight, right? So I picked the phone up off the table and I was like, you want to fucking go, cunt? Like, we can go right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was like, calm down. I'm just telling you not to. And I'm scared shitless. He's a man, I'm a kid. I didn't think I was gonna win.

[B]

And you have a lot of anger from what happened today. It's unprocessed anger, but you have completely unprocessed.

[A]

I thought I scored, right? And then I told my mom and she's like, what?

[B]

She's like, you told her the whole thing?

[A]

Yeah. And she was like, I will never speak to her again. And that was it. You know, she didn't know. You know, and then. And then there was a few other of my. My parents. Friends that slept with me at parties, you know, My dad was like, so and so last night. And I was like, yeah. He's like, it's all right. He's like, I know, I know. Like, you weren't in your bedroom. You were in the spare room with her. Yeah. He's like, yeah, nice.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Because that was like. There was no boundaries with my father.

[B]

Do you feel fear?

[A]

Sisters too.

[B]

Whose sisters?

[A]

That girl's sisters.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

All married to my dad's friends.

[B]

No shit.

[A]

I felt guilt on that.

[B]

And they were all in their 40s at least. Do you ever feel fear? Because it's a legitimate fear. Know that when you're around kids that there's a danger because it's such a self perpetuating thing.

[A]

I went the opposite way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a trigger where, like, I don't want to say, but there's people in comedy that have done things to younger people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to be in the same room as them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm scared.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Of what I'll do.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I'm more that guy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, I don't have any attraction to children.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you do, I'll kill you.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I really think about that ethical question of like, known child molester in the neighborhood gets out. You know, good lawyer, I can't know that. I mean, and they get hit by a car and they're gurgling blood and you're supposed to call 91 1. You just don't. Right.

[A]

I'd finish it with my hands then.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's in there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have to live with that, you know?

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I don't feel bad about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I've always said, like, when I crush comedy and retire super successful comedian, because that's gonna happen. I know that.

[B]

Is that on your vision board?

[A]

It's in here. I don't Write it. It's in here. But once that's done and I have a lot of money, you know, I can. I. I'm good with my hands. So I might, like, look for those guys and just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Knock a couple out before I go.

[B]

I've always thought about a TV show about a bunch of vigilante suburban dads. They got a poker night, and then one night, they just. They're talking this talk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they go, let's get. One guy's a cop. You know, one guy's like. Guys like that, he's an Internet. He can get anybody's influence. You get a military guy and they just decide, like, we'll say we're going to poker night and we got a windowless van, and we just take out one person a week. But then it's a comedy, so things go wrong.

[A]

Well, they're gonna go wrong.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'd love to watch.

[B]

That's a good show, right?

[A]

I'd love to be in it. Watch it. I don't care. Whatever I can do to help.

[B]

So have you done any acting?

[A]

Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. You like that? Some people say it's. It's for. I'm not gonna say the word, but. F. F. A GS.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That acting's for fags.

[A]

Yeah. I could say that word. But you can't. I paid my dues. All right. I can say it.

[B]

You earned it.

[A]

Fuck, yeah. All over me. God damn it. But, yeah, it's harder, like, if. If you want me to be in a movie where I'm intimidating. Yeah, well, yeah.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

But it's. But. But usually the things that I've done, it's like, accidental where. Hey, man, we want you to. I was in Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

[B]

No, you weren't.

[A]

Yeah, and they were like. I didn't realize I was. I was training at a gym, and the guy that is the main coach is friends with Kevin James. And Kevin said, hey, do you just. Crazy question, but do you have anybody in your gym that can skateboard? And he goes, I have a pro skateboarder that is a pro fighter. And he was like, oh, let me see a photo. Oh, done. He's in. So I don't audition. I don't. I go straight to. I'm flown to Boston to be in this movie. Now I have no idea what I'm doing, what it's about. I see. I get there, and there's other skateboarders and BMX's that I've been friends with for decades that have Auditioned and done all this work because they want to be in the acting world. They were like smoothing up to people and stuff. I've got to do my radio show. They got me an empty broken shoe store where they gave me a crate and a table. And I did my SiriusXM show five days a week. I do the acting. Then I go back to doing the studio and they all go like champagning with each other. I don't know anybody. I'm not even a part of it.

[B]

And this is like high production. This is lots of money.

[A]

They had the mall.

[B]

Yeah, the mall was there. Oh, my God, Really?

[A]

Yeah, we were skating in the mall. The mall was shut down. They built like a ramp down of escalator to jump over a gap. They were like, hey, can you ride up this wall? And I was like, well, if you put a ramp there and they're like a ramp.

[B]

You had the Guinness Book of World Records for the. For the biggest drop, 70ft. Yeah. Nobody's ever done that before.

[A]

Yeah, but that. There's this other dude, Danny Way. He's way better than me. And they offered him 10 grand. He was like, no way. And they're like, do you know anybody that will do it for 10 grand? He's like, yeah. And he called me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, 10 grand. Holy shit. Because I was never like, danny way is way better. I can do it.

[B]

All right. All right. So you're in the mall. Did you have a lot of lines?

[A]

No, I had two lines. And one of my main line was on dvd. And the deleted scenes. Cause I was not like, I also. I can't read.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I can. I can now, but at the time I was like, just. I didn't have the confidence to even really try.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the script was like, something about Color Me Mine like a bear. Like. And I didn't even know what a Color Me Mine was. And they're like, you're making a joke. So I'm like trying to be funny. And the director's like, you're trying to be serious. And I'm like, what? And I. And they're like, do it again, do it again. I'm like, okay, that's terrible. So my acting was bad, but I did do my own stunts. I had a fight scene with Kevin James. That is where I shined. Because I was like, you can just hit me, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's like, really? I'm like, yeah, just go for it. Like, I don't give a shit.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

And then I did A movie with Dax Shepard Chips where he wanted to. He had to punch a guy. And the guy that I knew who's a proper stuntman was like, you're not punching me. But I do know a guy that can take a shot. So I got punched. That's it. Dax and I were friends for a while because of that.

[B]

So that's your niche. I'll take a punch.

[A]

John Wick for the next. Whatever. John Wick's or any of those movies. I would be an excellent guy to be killed. Yeah, excellent. But don't hire me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Getting punched in the face is something that most people go through their life. Go through their lives never experiencing and are so afraid of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it sucks. But I've been punched in the face.

[A]

I bet you have.

[B]

And it, you know. Well, yeah, it's a punchable face.

[A]

I'm not saying that. I just know you, dude.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I had a brother who was 13 months older than me, so, you know, that was just. That was the work.

[A]

Might have had something to do.

[B]

That was the training.

[A]

But also your attitude.

[B]

Yeah, a little bit.

[A]

You're ready to go, dude. If you're ready to go, sooner or later, someone's gonna punch you in the face.

[B]

But it's not that bad. You're kind of.

[A]

Oh, the punch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Some people. Because I teach boxing to people, and I know women will just listen and do it and learn pretty quick. Men have this thing where they already think they can fight, so they don't really want to listen to you. They're pretty sure they've got it figured out.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And for me, when I coach people, I look intimidating, so I get respect from men because they think that I'm a killer, you know? But it's usually I have to punch him in the face to get them to listen to what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because there's this thing where it's like, oh, I've had a few scraps, so I pretty much know what I'm doing. I'm like, okay, well, if you really do, like. Do you want to, like, do it on me and see how it goes? Because if you're not going to listen, I don't know why we're here. You know, if you want to just have a fight in the alleyway, we can do that. But, like, I'm trying to teach you the art of boxing. It's a sport. It's like skateboarding. I'm like, why don't you just drop in on Tony's ramp and people will Be like, no way. I didn't skate. Dudes in fighting, it's footwork. I could probably beat that guy. And I'm like, you have no idea.

[B]

Well, that was the thing about Skank Fest is watching amateurs get in the ring and box. You go, oh, it's all footwork. Like, these guys don't know where their weight should be when they're swinging or when they're defending. Isn't that a big part of it?

[A]

It's a huge part. There's distance, there's timing, there's reading. People, like, I'll fake stuff to watch what you do and make you pay for it. Also, the canvas was slippery, so I couldn't do any of the footwork that I did. I had to just plod along.

[B]

And then it's also pacing yourself, knowing what you got in the well, people.

[A]

That'S like, I'm older, man. I have more gas in my tank now because I don't ever hyperventilate or breathe heavy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I don't. If you hit me. Breathing heavy doesn't make the punch less hard.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, if you coming at me with like a ten punch combination, if I hold my breath, that doesn't help me from moving.

[B]

I see.

[A]

So no matter what happens, it's very George Foreman. Like, remember how George Foreman gassed against Muhammad Ali and then he won the belt like, a decade later as a fat guy? That's where I'm at now. Like, when you come at me, I don't change. My heart rate doesn't go up. I just soak him up.

[B]

Move.

[A]

And then I. And then I. I'll see you. Like, with Laser, Like, I let him go at me.

[B]

DJ Laser.

[A]

Uncle Laser.

[B]

Uncle Laser who you fought at Skank Fest?

[A]

Yeah, I let him go. And then when he went enough, I saw him gas out. And I was like, right now it's time for me to, like, pick you apart because I don't want.

[B]

You literally picked him up at one point from behind. He was down, and you put your arms around him.

[A]

I just was. I said to play with the guy because I don't want to hurt him. He's a good dude, and it's not about that.

[B]

Was there. Was there shit talking before?

[A]

He was doing more of a talking for the people around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I ain't afraid of my.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

He's like. We were fighting. I'm like, really fight? He's like, yeah, really fight. And I was like, I don't think that's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was like, what are you talking about? I'm like, dude, I'm not about ego anymore, but like, I've been doing this for 20 years. I'm probably 40 pounds heavier than you. Like, I will kill you, dude. He's like, well, I've had five amateur boxing fights. And this is a thing from being in the game a long time. When people say stuff I know it's not true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Straight away. And I was like, oh, really? You can't fight. There's nothing wrong with that.

[B]

What's his background? I don't know. Uncle Laser.

[A]

He worked in the oil mines. He's an oil guy. Okay, so he's done hard labor.

[B]

Stand up.

[A]

Yeah, he's a big guy on Kill Tony.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. He moves tickets.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. Kill Tony. Guys do that?

[B]

Oh, yeah, they do. It's funny because he's a good dude.

[A]

Heart of gold.

[B]

I've been on kill Tony about 20.

[A]

Times and I've done one minute on there.

[B]

Tickets not always moving, right?

[A]

Well, no, that's because you're a guest. Yeah, it's the ones. A golden ticket or become a regular on there. Those are the ones.

[B]

Because they're doing stand up.

[A]

They're doing one minute.

[B]

Even going on Rogan now doesn't move tickets as much as doing a show. Like, we might be drunk because you're doing stand up. When you go on Joe, you. You go deep. And especially with me because we've been friends for so long. Like, we get personal and deep, but it's not necessarily showcasing my stand up jobs.

[A]

Yeah. So it's a different show. It's not a comedy show.

[B]

I think people get to know me more than anywhere else. But I don't know if they go like, oh, I want to see that for an hour on stage.

[A]

Yeah. I think the Internet is not what it used to be and there's a new audience that watch it all.

[B]

And what's the new thing you heard about vertical. What is it called, those dramas that they shoot? Vertical dramas. Maybe they're. They're like little short. This is. This is the future, man. They're little short. They call it vertical because you don't shoot horizontal because we want to watch it on their phone. And they're like three minute dramas and they make like 60 of them in a series. Yeah, they're almost like soap operas. But there's funny ones also. And like, that's what. That's huge. And it's blowing up because this is the thing that the studios. Studios have been sitting on the sidelines watching people make millions of dollars on social media and they don't know how to wrap their greedy hands around.

[A]

They'll figure it out and.

[B]

Well, that's what this is. This is like finally high production stuff.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Where they're, you know, which is good. I'm glad key grips and camera people are getting jobs.

[A]

But, you know, evolve, entertain your thing. I don't care.

[B]

What's your. What do you think when you picture yourself, obviously, stand up is a big crux of where your energy is going right now, and that's going to bring you somewhere. But in terms of social media, how do you picture yourself connecting to people over the next five years? What a good fucking question it was.

[A]

I don't know if you need to say that after you ask the good question.

[B]

Well, because now I don't even need an answer.

[A]

Someone's getting. Well, then that's going to.

[B]

That's going to be the clip. That's going to be the clip for my show.

[A]

Wait, I'm not on it.

[B]

Me asking a question.

[A]

It's just you answering. Asking really good questions. Tune in next week when Greg asks another riveting question. Don't worry about the answer. That's not what it's about.

[B]

He doesn't listen anyway. He's thinking about his next question.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, why wouldn't you after that whopper.

[B]

I'm Dick Cabot all of a sudden.

[A]

Oh, you sure you're not sick?

[B]

I'm not sick. This is just residual phlegm. No, I. I took care of this cold. I. I did. Ginger tea with honey. I did.

[A]

You did it naturally.

[B]

All vitamin C packs. I did the zinc tablets, humidifiers. Huge at night.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I didn't leave the house for five days. And then Friday night I went out and did.

[A]

Texted Dr. Drew Penske and got antibiotics.

[B]

No, you didn't. But it's not a virus. It's a virus, not a bacteria.

[A]

Whatever cured it.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Hey, man, there's more than one cold that was going around Skank Fest. Not necessarily having the same.

[B]

Yeah, there was. There was genital colds going on at Skank Fest.

[A]

I didn't get a part of that. I've not either.

[B]

All right, so answer the question to me more.

[A]

It's not about the numbers.

[B]

It's the.

[A]

Not about the fame. I don't care about that stuff anymore. Like, I've. I've squashed that guy. So to me.

[B]

So you don't feel like a need to be. Because with your radio show, I feel like you were very creative. You did so much stuff outside the studio. Ellis mania. I remember doing a go kart race with you one time where you lapped me twice. And like, you were having fun and expressing yourself.

[A]

I'm surprised you didn't get out of the cart and try and fight me.

[B]

I was laughing too hard. The second time you came around, I just. I couldn't even drive, I was laughing so hard. But, like, do you see the Internet as a place where you can express yourself creatively?

[A]

Oh, definitely.

[B]

Yeah. So what? In what way?

[A]

Mine is more of the things that I've gone through in my life. What can I do to help somebody?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So to me, the numbers thing, I don't care about that anymore because it's too. It will consume me. I'm too competitive. So it's more about. I have suffered a lot of stuff, and I'm on the other side and I'm doing well. I'm very happy. It's not about the money. It's not about the fame. I'm very happy with nothing, which used to terrify me. I don't. The. When people would bring up, like, being sober, it's like, you know, I used to have a casino, or I used to, and now I just have a Camry and I. I'm happy with my life. And I'm like, oh, God, please don't let me that be me. I don't want to be happy with a Camry. I hate that car. You know, I want a Lamborghini.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now it's more like, can I help people get sober? Can I help people with sex addiction? Can I help people with their trauma? Because the thing I have is how bad it got. I can tell a story about how bad it got and that I'm on the other side of it. And usually because to me, that's how I got sober. Somebody told me a story where I was like, oh, my God, that's terrible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never. How could you survive that?

[B]

Right.

[A]

And they are talking to me as a full grown adult, a caring man who is on the other side of it. I'm like, well, if he can do it, I can do it. So that's like my last con contribution to life is be a good therapist a little bit. So, I mean, maybe, but also. Maybe not. But yeah, I definitely know because you'd.

[B]

Ultimately tell somebody to go kill the guy that molested them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you might do it yourself.

[A]

I know what not to do, that's for sure.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because I've definitely done the wrong thing. The biggest thing to me is I just hurt the people that I care about because of my addictions and my. My addictive personality where I just decided. I don't think about you. I think about what I need to get to keep running. And that. Because I'm like, I do have a kind heart.

[B]

And when I realize you seem to have real intimacy. Like, I remember your past girlfriend who worked with. With you on. On your radio show. What was her name again?

[A]

Katie.

[B]

Katie was great. And you and Katie had this working relationship that was very intimate and very supportive, and there's that side of you. So you're saying you have that as your base?

[A]

Can I have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, incredibly, you did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'll never forgive myself for that. I mean, I. I have, but it's a thing that I know I did, and it's never going to go away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I need it. I. I keep it because it reminds me.

[B]

Have you made amends?

[A]

Yep. I made amends to everybody.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm good friends with my kid's mother now. She hated me for, like, a decade. Wow.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Going to Thanksgiving with her. Never been nice to Thanksgiving with her.

[B]

That's with your kid?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's your son's name?

[A]

Tiger.

[B]

Tiger? Yeah.

[A]

Tiger Lee Ellis and Devon as well. She's 20.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know you had two. Yeah. Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. So we're. They've never been happier with me.

[B]

Same mom, the two kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So the four of you will have Thanksgiving together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Her husband, my girlfriend, and the kids all having Thanksgiving.

[B]

Congrats.

[A]

It's the biggest accomplishment of the year, for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So things like that are a big deal. And. And you know, now I know because that's that little pat, like, I get pulled in. That's why the naked roast was such a. When you're having an epiphany on a show where there's 2, 000 people in the crowd and you're still expected to, like, have some wisecracks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm in shock at the table. I'm like, I'm not supposed to be. I'm not. This is a part of the things that are my triggers. I not mad at anybody here, but I'm not supposed to be here, man. I'm not about that anymore. And then Zach, bless his heart, started talking about gay, and I was like, dude, I'm gonna kill you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, don't bring that up. I know. It's a part of my Life again. Like. Like. I mean, I've hurt my ex wives and it's true. There's no time machine. It's been done. I've done it. I've also done gay stuff. I've done homosexual acts on video. There's no coming back from that. But I'm not gay, you know, I'm not. I also used to have orgies. I used to sleep with like a lot of people at once. And I used to think that that was the only thing that was really what I was trying to do was be cool enough to have a lot of women sleep with me at the same time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now I have no interest in that at all. Do you feel sorry for anybody that wants to do it?

[B]

Do you think the gay stuff came out because you look back at like the late 60s and the 70s and like Iggy Pop and Jagger and Bowie and how they were experimen gay sex. Do you think it was just a logical extension of having played out heterosexual sex?

[A]

I think to me it's like skateboarding. I want to go further and do things no one's ever done.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Sex is a sport to me. And how can I do something that no one's ever done? How do I break barriers? You know, I started hanging out with trans women because my girlfriend at the time was like, that's hot. They start introducing me to like some gay stuff and gay guys, you know, and lesbians. Like, I know a lot of lesbians, they know stuff that a lot of us basic bitches don't know in the bedroom.

[B]

So the trans. The trans woman is the gateway to gay men.

[A]

Not from me. Not also. I. I've been involved with stuff like that off and on my whole life where I'm. This is gross, but I'm attracted.

[B]

Gross about. No.

[A]

Well, you don't know what I'm about to say.

[B]

Okay. This could be gross.

[A]

People have always found me attractive from a young age to now. Where predators see me and know that.

[B]

They can get me as an adult.

[A]

Yeah, as a child. To adulthood where you can prey on me. I'll do it.

[B]

What do you think that is?

[A]

Being. Being molested as a child so many times from so many people that, that I. I want to connect with my trauma. So I've been in therapy. I'm trying to connect with my trauma. I would let. There. There was an Asian man who was very mean to my father, who. My father went bankrupt. And this guy bought my dad's business. And he was the only person I ever saw that talked to my father in a way that was disrespectful, that didn't get knocked out and.

[B]

By your father?

[A]

Yeah. So I used to get Asian dudes to blow me all the time. I didn't like them. I would just let them blow me and then push them off and go to the next one.

[B]

Is that a common thing with trauma? My therapist said you seek out abuse. Yeah.

[A]

Because you go back, it's like the only thing. You know, it feels like home.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, like. And then that was the big. One of the biggest ones was like, I'm doing this stuff to get back to the trauma of being molested by somebody. And when I realized that, I was like, oh, I will never do that again.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But then when you're asleep, you know, all my friends at one point were all in porn. All sex addicts, in my opinion. So every night after work, there were people in my house talking about it or doing it in front of me. A lot of naked boobies. Everyone's getting blowjob thing constant. So that was just like, what I was about was just doing that all the time.

[B]

Was there a bottoming out moment? Yeah. What was that?

[A]

Oh, man. So there's two. I'm filming stuff on only fans. I'm getting paid more money if I do stuff with guys. So I start meeting guys that are in the. In the scene. I got two people that I know, They're a couple, and they're like, come over and film stuff.

[B]

And I'm like, a guy and a girl.

[A]

Nah, two guys. Yeah, they're a gay couple.

[B]

Man.

[A]

Whatever. Maybe somebody can learn from this. They. We want to dress as police, because that does big numbers. I'm like, all right, you know, sounds awesome. I go over there. They call me on my way there and they go, hey, we can't find the cop uniforms, but we have two other guys that want to shoot with us. So that does a lot of numbers. Guys. Bunch of guys. And I'm like, yeah, okay, cool. I get. There's a Russian guy with a. Who's filming two black guys and these two white guys, and they're. And they're all doing drugs. And this is when I'm. I'm doing kratom and smoking weed, but I definitely will not do hard drugs. That's been a thing for a long time. And they're like, do you want someone? I was like, absolutely not. And also, is it possible for you guys to kind of do that afterwards? Like, do you have to do that right now? And they're like, oh. We're like, we're not doing that much. And I'm like, okay. My trauma lets me accept these things. Like, now I'd be like, bye.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You know? But then I was just like, well, I don't want to. I don't want to ruin it for anybody. So I go along with it. And then this guy's blowing me, and he's doing poppers, and these guys are all getting blown. The camera's on. We're filming. The guy who's blowing me bites me. And I'm like, ah. And I'm like, I don't want to break the scene. And I'm like, hey. And I move away. He is having a seizure.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Because he's a guy that has seizures. That doesn't.

[B]

Because your dick is so big.

[A]

Dude, no, just leave that.

[B]

Go ahead. Sorry, Sorry. Go ahead.

[A]

He has a.

[B]

He.

[A]

I pull out, and he drops on his face on the ground and has a seizure. And I'm like, this guy's dying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, oh. And I'm freaked out, right? And I'm sitting there, and he. He wakes up. His boyfriend's like, hey, you okay? The guy, as he wakes up, he starts jerking himself off. Within seconds of being out of a seizure, his hands on his penis. And I'm sitting next to him on a chair going, these people are tweet, dude. And he's like, no, I'm good. I'm good to go again. And his boyfriend goes, no, I think you should sit down. I think you should actually go in bed and kind of rest.

[B]

Yeah, Protocol.

[A]

He goes, I'm gonna take this guy in the room, you guys. I don't want to ruin the scene. Just keep going. Don't worry about us. And I'm like, what? And the black guy goes, so, you know, I'm suck your dick. And I'm like, yeah, okay. So now I'm like, back in it. And this guy's doing stuff to me that I'm not usually accustomed. I'm also like, I. I was versatile because I was like, what is butt sex? People are telling me you can orgasm without touching dick. That seems like a thing that I need to know. I want to. That's like another level.

[B]

Talking about receiving it.

[A]

Yeah, it's another level.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so I figured that out. I could do it. It's pretty good. But I have no interest in doing it anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what happened. God did it, I think, right? But that time, it's happening. And I'm feeling dark about it. I don't want to be here. Somebody's doing something to me where usually I'd be like, I'll probably beat you up for this. And you're kind of doing it in a way where you're making me the girl. And I'm getting dark about it, but I don't want to break the scene. So I do it. It's over. I leave. And I'm like, I'll never do that again. I think I'm out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Two days later, another girl that I shoot with is like, hey, do you want to do a scene with this other girl? Double anal with the girl? And I'm like, well, yeah, like, that's more my style. I've always been a lot more straight than I am gay. Yeah, it's just like more of like, whatever you've got, I'll do it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because it's like another thing that it gets me to. To come on people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I get to run. I get to the hotel room before my friend.

[B]

By the way, I got a friend who's a casting agent on the View. Have you thought about this story?

[A]

Yeah, I don't even think you're gonna play this.

[B]

No, no, no. This is in. We were off the. We were off the.

[A]

Yeah. I will never be on the View. I know. I will never be on the.

[B]

We were off the algorithm in the first 30 seconds when we said tons. No, this, this.

[A]

I know I shouldn't be anywhere. I'm trying to tell us.

[B]

All right, so you're doing double anal with these two girls.

[A]

Yeah. But I show up early. This is definitely not going to get used. Okay, this is the grossest thing that is. I never filmed another thing before I got sober, still using Kratom and smoke and weed, But I never shot another thing from this particular situation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I go there, my friends up there, the girl's there, she's pretty hot, Jack. Covered in tattoos, she's drinking. I'm like, oh, God, whatever. I try to, like, break the ice and talk to her, you know, like, hey, so what are you up to? And I said, you know, I got divorced. She's like, oh, yeah, I got divorced too. And I'm like, oh, cool. You know, hey, small world. Haha. And. And she's like, yeah, he's trying to take me to court or jail. And I'm like, jail? I'm like, go to jail for divorce. Like, how's that work? Well, you know, accusing me of, like, sleeping with the dog, you know, And I'm like, what? And I'm like, you didn't do that, did you? And she's like, well. And I'm like. And again, it's like, do it on.

[B]

Our only fans page, dude.

[A]

I don't. She starts talking about the dog. She starts talking about how she lives on a farm and this other guy does ducks.

[B]

Ducks, yeah.

[A]

And killing them from doing it. And I'm like. And I'm sitting on this couch, and I'm like, don't want to be mean. I don't want to say anything. And I go, well, you're not like that anymore, are you? And she's like, oh, I'm still crazy. I'm going to go to Germany and do something with a horse. And now I'm like, I'm cold. I'm so scared.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I don't want to say anything. I don't want to make her uncomfortable because I'm still, like, not. I haven't dealt with anything in my life, dude. I can't get her to. I don't want to make her feel bad. And even though she should feel bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My friend finally comes, and she can tell, like, my face is white. I'm in fucking shock.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She goes, okay, she's here. Takes her clothes off and goes, let's go. And I go, yeah. Just real quick, before we start, can you just tell her, like, that little bit of that story that you were telling me? And she goes about the dog? And I go, mm, yeah. And she tells my friend, and my friend, who has been in this game for a long time, goes, oh, Jason and I are going to need to have a talk for a second before we do this. She goes, oh, fine. I'll just go down to the bar. I'll be back in a minute. Like, no big deal. It doesn't catch on at all, right? And my friend goes, we are fucking out of here.

[B]

Yeah, you can catch some interspecies gonorrhea.

[A]

And I go, thank God. I didn't know what to do. And she was like, oh, yeah. If this is ever. If this ever happens. I'm like, does it happen? Yeah, sometimes. And I'm like, I can't be with you people.

[B]

I know. Here you are. You think you're getting together for just some wholesome double anal, and then you find out, why do you always have.

[A]

To make it where it's so obvious that I am so sweet and that I don't catch on until it is way too late? I mean, take a look at me. It's pretty obvious that I caught on a little too late. Cats out of the bag. God, there's a wrong. That was a bad terminology.

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, thank you for being so honest and open about it.

[A]

But that was the end of that. And that's why I start. And then I. And then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna get out of that. I'm gonna get off Kratom. Worst thing I've ever. The hardest thing I've ever.

[B]

Kratom. They wanted to advertise on my podcast. I did one read for them, and I got DMs from about 30 people going. My cousin got hooked and ended up committing suicide. This is opiates.

[A]

People can die from it.

[B]

This is serious. Nobody and people are doing it on their podcast.

[A]

I don't want to. Look, you can. You can. People die from alcohol, right? I'm not saying don't drink. People get mad at me for saying it's bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I got on the other end of it and great. Like, if you want to do it, great. Like, it's a great after workout, so. So's oxy's. Whatever you want to do, do it. I'm just telling you as a person that had to get off it. I was in four days of hell. I almost went. I almost got an ambulance because I started having a seizure from getting off this stuff that you can get at a liquor store. Yeah. So I'm against it. I'm against taking any of it. But I know that that's. You know, you go one way, then you go dramatically the other way. Look, if you want to have a beer, great. I just. I just think the difference is people know alcohol can ruin your life.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't think people know the dangers of kratom. It's H7 or HO or whatever it's called. I'm like, shut the fuck up. They're making them concentrated. If you do just the Kratom, you can get addicted to it, and it can ruin your life. The divorce thing, to me, happened because of it.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Because she was like, I want a divorce. And I was like, good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We've had arguments before where we would have patched it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I couldn't be bothered anymore. I was like, just go, yeah, whatever I got to do to get you off my back so that I can smoke more weed and do Kratom.

[B]

So as far as addiction goes, because you've been addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, probably not gambling. Well, and also, I think the. The danger of Sports. I think you've been addicted to that. And so explain to me, because I had it with alcohol, and I knew that. I knew I had a problem. My father was an alcoholic. He died at 53. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles. It's just thick in the family. So I knew I was predisposed. I started drinking when I was, like, 13. Drank a lot all those years. So I quit when I was, like, 24. But I struggle to quit. And when you described briefly before, knowing that it's bad and suddenly a switch goes, and caring about the person you're with becomes less important than connecting to this addiction.

[A]

Yeah. Because you can't. You think about it for a second, but then the pain of the sobriety kicking in becomes so big and so scary that you let me just run for a little bit, and then I'll come back and worry about that again.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But once you go back in, that's gone. It's too late. Because once I got sober, I regretted it. I wanted her back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was like, you're. You're so far gone. It's. It, like, I will never treat. You know, I can never look at you the same way.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's over.

[B]

So now do you feel like being sober feeds itself? Like, the longer you do it, the more you feel, instead of it being a bad place, being a place that gives you energy.

[A]

Oh, definitely. There's a. I have a life now where I remember I was like, if I can get sober and just be, like, a nice guy that doesn't, like, have temper tantrums and, like, hurt the people that I care about. I'm not saying physical. I'm saying, like, emotionally affect anybody that I love and get back on top. That was my other thing that was like, now that is. That is, like, off to the side. It used to be a big deal for me to get back to, like, serious. I had a million dollars a year. I was like, I need to get back on top. Because I. If I have money and people know me, they'll respect me again. Like, they'll love me. And, like, getting sober and doing the work, realizing nobody loves you, dude, because you're good at something or you've got money. That's not real love.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, your own, your family, this little unit of friends and family is all that matters in life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

None of that other stuff matters. So that one is this huge epiphany. But I have a life now, and I'm nowhere near out of it, dude. I'm moving to Utah because I can't afford to live here. Like, we're making big moves right now. And they're not glamorous at all.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I've never been happier with nothing. Like, I know how lucky I am. And what I brag about now is my relationship with my children has never been better. My relationship with my. With their mother has never been better. I have a girlfriend that is such a solid, good, soul person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just so grateful that I get to wake up and I don't have to go to hospital. I'm not sick, and I have, like, creative jobs.

[B]

Well, also, I feel like you were always in danger of feeding that part of yourself that you were getting acceptance for. Like, having to be the crazy guy. Because that's what people are tuning in for. Yeah. And you're not. And you're. And that dynamic is not in your life now.

[A]

Losing it was heartbreaking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, having to, like, put him out was. I'm all alone. That's what I would say. I'm all alone now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, dude, you were alone the whole time. Like, you've never been connected to anyone. You know? And now I'm nowhere near alone. Also, looking back, I was never alone back then, but I was shut off to the things that really cared about me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And it was like, you know, like I said, these pains of realizing that way too late in life are the things that help me stay on track.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I will never hurt a person like that ever again. Because it's. It's right here. You know?

[B]

But is there a line that you ride as doing stand up now? And you're still doing, you know, things like skank fest, where, I mean, they talk about your. What is it? When the face that you put out to people is your. Whatever it is that your identity as the crazy guy, which is stand up. You are talking about this stuff, and there is a certain amount of titillation that people are going to get from it. And you protecting that from taking over the part of you that's. That that's sober and having connected relationships with people.

[A]

It's. That's been a. That's been a bit of a struggle.

[B]

You're straddling that.

[A]

Yeah. Because at first I was like, do I need to even talk about it anymore? Because that's not who I am. And when I do talk about it, it brings people back to thinking that that's the way I am. But to me, it's really about helping somebody.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if I have to talk about stuff that is embarrassing or people find me to be disgusting. Well, if you don't like me, that's okay. You know, I can live with that. But if it helps one person because they can relate to it and it gets them out and gets them free. Yeah, I'm at. Then you can. You can take everything from me.

[B]

Also, I think that you. When you talk about the numbers of social media, like, you may have whatever number of followers or your podcasts have a certain amount of listeners, but I think they're very committed people, and I think it is a lot closer to love than a lot of people's followers is because you've been so forthright and vulnerable.

[A]

If you're still there, you probably do like me.

[B]

Right? Right. And I think those are the people that, when you go to Seattle, those are coming to your show.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I think I. I definitely. When I. Because I do meet and greets after every show, and a lot of the audience is in the line. You know, it's not like 10 people after 150. It's like. It's like a hundred people are in the. I'm there all night, meet Everybody, and. And nine times out of 10, it's a heartfelt conversation about how I helped them in some kind of way. And those are the things where I'm like, you're on the right path, dude. Like, you know, are you selling out? Like, does everybody care? No, but, like, the people that come. Most people come, they're like, man, I had no idea you were funny. Yeah, I'm like, why are you here?

[B]

No, that's the battle when you're a podcaster and I've talked to social media people about this, is you really have to educate people that you're a comedian, because they don't come out. Just if you're a podcaster, they're not coming to see. That's like. That's like, going, well, I'm a famous writer. You want to come see me do gymnastics on Saturday? It's like, no, dude.

[A]

People come that are like, I just watched you skate. I didn't know you, like, where's Tony Hawk?

[B]

I'm like, what?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I got a joke about Tony Hawk, but he ain't coming.

[B]

Trust me. Right?

[A]

You know, or fight people where I'm like, hey, not hitting anybody. Yeah, I'm just a ha. That's all I got.

[B]

Is there a way to combine fighting with comedy?

[A]

Well, it's Alice mania, right? That's comedic fighting. I want to do it again on a smaller scale.

[B]

Because I have these tell people Ellis mania is.

[A]

Ellis mania is comedy boxing. You know, like I gave people a chance. When I first started fighting, I was old, I was like 38. But when I started training and realized being in a training camp, knowing you're agreeing to fight a guy on this particular date and nobody can help you, you're in a cage with one guy, he does not like you. Scary. And it changed my life forever. Yeah, the training that I did for that first pro fight, because you can't cut corners, right? There's no like people like, I'm gonna lose 10 pounds and then they do, they put it back on or they get to seven and they quit. Like if you have a fight where you have to make weight and you have to fight this guy and if you don't do good, he's gonna hurt you, right? You know, and it's this fear that dry. I remember jogging in the morning and jogging past the place and it was like 5am and there were people smoking out the front. And I remember because you get in this mindset where you're like, you start to become a killer, you got to be ready to kill. Like when the bell goes, you can't be like, hey man, good luck. Like, you got to kill.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So the, the, the mind is changing where I'm becoming this animal. I'm running, listening to metal, you know what I mean? And it's like, I don't care if I'm tired, I don't care if I'm hurt. I keep running and I see a guy eating a burger, smoking a cigarette. I'm like, you have no idea what it's like to be a real man. Okay, over the top. But yeah, it does give you this thing where you have a confidence for the rest of your life where when people fight around me now, I don't get anxious, you know, like I'm okay, you know, like I, like even you.

[B]

Can go into both places.

[A]

I give people a chance to do a little version of that. Cuz I don't think that's actually that sensible to be a professional fighter, right? But I think if you train for three months, get in like good shape for you, have a fight where I'm the ref. If you get hit in a way where I think that's enough, I'm not. You're going to the afterparty, you're not getting put to sleep. I will not let that happen. So I'll stop the fight. You know, you might have a bit of a bruise on your face or Something like that. If even headgear, bigger gloves. Usually you get beat because you're too tired.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's usually what happens. And you're. It's like a fight club thing where you're like, man, this changed my life. And I'm like, for the good, you know? Like, you know, you've got it in you. It's so nerve wracking to be in a fight with somebody, but crowds around like, get him. You're like, holy shit. It's like a real thing. Like, it's a big deal. So I will have fights like that where somebody trains and I watch both of them, make sure they're compatible, because I don't like when someone's way better than the other person. I won't let it happen.

[B]

So the comedy is more in the build up to the fight.

[A]

Well, no, those are the fights where I let somebody who really wants to fight have a fight. But the rest of the fights are not even real fights. Like, I put blindfolds on you and Electric Dog.

[B]

Right, right, right, right.

[A]

So everybody's just laughing.

[B]

And you.

[A]

When you're blindfolded and getting electrocuted, you're not very dangerous. You kind of just like panic and run around the ring.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And everybody laughs and you get. Maybe you get hit one time.

[B]

Didn't you fight a guy whose arms were taped to his body?

[A]

No, I fought Shane Carlin, UFC heavyweight champion of the world, with one arm tied because he. Obviously better than me in every facet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But that was like a weird thing where I was like, I could probably beat him. He's got one arm. But I'm like, you can't beat a guy with one arm. And he's a legend. I don't want to hurt a legend, so I let him knock me out. Which was. That's like one of those things where I'm like, the fans came, they bought tickets, you got to give him a show. And this show ends with you losing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To a guy that is £300 and might be on some illegal substances and.

[B]

Hits like a truck and is not gonna lose. It would look bad for him.

[A]

He had every. He told me, like, a couple months later, he's like. My coach was like, you know, this guy brought you here to knock you out and be on YouTube and convinced him that I was actually trying to beat him. And he was like, I was trying to kill you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, well, that's awesome. Now, you know, because I remember when I got in the ring, I went up to him like, hey. And he was like. And I'm like, why is he not smiling?

[B]

Yeah, why?

[A]

It's fun, right? He was like, no, I'm going to kill you. And I was like, wow, this. I really hope everybody has a good night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because this is what it's for, you know.

[B]

All right. This is the time of the show. It's called Fastballs with Fits.

[A]

Hell yeah. Let her rip, Fitz dog.

[B]

You gotta have a segment on a show, by the way, when you're talking about what. When you're talking about, like letting guys feel that power as boxers like you. I had a producer named Kevin Kraft who then produced your show. Yeah. And he was this. I remember the first time I met him, I hired him off, of course, Craigslist, I think. And so we met in a Starbucks and I walked in and he had the Wall Street Journal out and he was in the corner with these glasses. He weighs about 112 pounds. And I was like, no, this guy is way too nerdy. But then I talked to him and there was something. So how do you describe. Kevin Kraft is just. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm getting the names mixed up. No, Kevin Craft was also my producer.

[A]

He did not read the. The.

[B]

No, no. Kevin Craft was also my producer who then produced your show. But then John. Who's John? The skinny guy who ended up boxing, rides his bike a lot.

[A]

Oh, John Matthews.

[B]

John Matthews, who you can see reading the Wall Street Journal and a Starbucks.

[A]

Yeah. And yeah, I saved his life.

[B]

You turned his life. And he ended up buying a motorcycle, training and boxing at my gym. So still, it's amazing.

[A]

The reason I saved him is cuz he told me basically in one day, the only thing that he has that is food is the nuts at the pub.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On the table.

[B]

And he was living. He was living with a girlfriend who. Smoking. Girlfriend was taking advantage of him. He was paying all the rent and she was verbally abusive to him.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz he. He needed to become a human being.

[B]

You did it.

[A]

Shell of a human.

[B]

And then you want.

[A]

That's the thing about Ellis Mania, the fight thing that can make you. I've. He's not the only one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've got people now that like, they train, they take care of themselves. They are men that feel accomplished and they got it from this wacky comedy fight thing.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

And they'll still thank me. Like those are the. Those are the things that, you know, I mean, in the end when it's over, like I gave somebody this confidence that you can't ever take.

[B]

It's never gonna go away. Right. And then one of your producers choked me out during your show. Was. I think it was Katie. Yeah, Katie choked me out during your show.

[A]

Was watching. That was.

[B]

I lost consciousness. Well, because she didn't do it right. She did an arm bomb. She did it. No, she should have. Crazy in here. And she did it right. No, I was sore for two weeks.

[A]

Yeah. Because she did. She held on too long.

[B]

Yeah. What?

[A]

I'd rather talk about dogs again. That was so.

[B]

All right, here we go. Have you ever been arrested?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Got a DUI when I was 17 in America. I did a little burnout in the van. I was going. We were partying. I wasn't that intoxicated. I was going to get a lighter because nobody else wanted to get it. And they pulled me over in the 7:11 and he came in, he's like, you've been drinking. And I was from Australia, new. And I was like, oh, yeah, it's a couple. No big deal. Because in Australia you can say that and you don't go to jail.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's like, do the Breathalyzer. Do the. The test. I'm an athlete, dude. Stand up. One foot. Touch my nose. I do that on a bottle of vodka.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So I passed.

[B]

You're touching your nose and you got a coke spoon in your mouth.

[A]

But then they gave me the Breathalyzer. They tested me over and they put me in jail for three days because I was a foreigner and they didn't. I didn't have the. The bail or whatever it was. So, yeah, a guy took a poo. I woke and was like staring at me. Another guy kicked the wall, tried to fight me. When I got out, I cried.

[B]

He did. Yeah.

[A]

Scared me.

[B]

Welcome to the usa, mother.

[A]

I also got arrested once in Australia for stealing a girl's bike. Because I went to a party and the girl ditched us. And the trains were closed because it was after two in the morning and we were walking home and it was like, you know, four hour walk. And it started raining and there was a girl's bike with a little seat on the back. Pink with the frame like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And my friend stole it. And I was on the back and he was pedaling in the rain and I was holding the back rack going backwards. And a cop with the dibby van came up behind us. And he can't even see it yet. He's pedaling and they're just looking at me and I'm like, oh, we're we're fucked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he's like, pull over. And then he goes, nice bike. Whose bike is it? And he goes, it's my sister's. And I go, we stole it.

[B]

Good wingman.

[A]

So we went to jail for that. And then another time, I was dragging a guy drag race. We were on acid, and we were at the light, and there was a medium on the side. And we didn't know that there was a cop behind us because we were wasted. And my buddy takes off in his car. So I go over the medium to race him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. And then as I'm coming around, my friend is ass on the side of the door, half out of the car, like, whee. And a cop car with lights all of a sudden comes in between us. And I'm like, where the fuck did he come from?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My friend pulls into the gas station, starts pumping gas.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

So I pump him. I pull in behind him, start pumping gas. He comes over, and he's like, you guys having a good time? We're like, yeah, is there a problem? And he's like, are you fucking kidding me? And we're like, what? And we're like, did we just. What you just did right there was incredibly illegal. Have you been drinking? In Australia, you can be like, yeah, couple. And he's like, do the breathalyzer thing. And my buddy goes. He gets the breathalyzer, and he goes. He gets a lighter out of his pocket, and he goes, where's the shoddy mate? And he looks at me and we both start laughing. And I went to jail for that. And I was on acid in jail.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

But apart from that, not okay.

[B]

There were two types of people in the world. Is it go.

[A]

Oh, cunts and lovers.

[B]

Love it. Have you ever not finished a set on stage?

[A]

No.

[B]

I knew you'd say that.

[A]

You don't walk off.

[B]

You wouldn't bail.

[A]

No way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Especially now if it gets dark, I get. I get happy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, oh, let's see how much worse I can make it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You didn't like that word? Listen to this story.

[B]

Yeah. Who would you want to give your eulogy?

[A]

My son.

[B]

Nice. How old is he now?

[A]

16.

[B]

Yeah. That must be an interesting relationship.

[A]

Why is that?

[B]

Well, he's had to grow up learning acceptance of your wild ways and still loving you. And also knowing that you're not a traditional father. Yeah. That must bring you closer in some ways.

[A]

Yeah. We've had a lot of talks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of stuff that he's he's been put through because of me, and I've had to make a lot of apologies and explained myself, you know, when he gets older, like, there's more things that, you know. Yeah, I don't need to put that on him. You know, like the things that happened to me in my childhood. Also having a podcast and all these other things where it's, like, on the. It's out there, you know, he's seen it. People have attacked him for things that I've done in the past. So he's been bullied because of me. So I've had to make a lot of apologies. But also, I think seeing, like, what it's like to be in the limelight of sorts and how people treat you, whether you're cool or whether you're not cool. Like, I've also always shown him that, like, that doesn't mean anything.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, like, you could tell because I'm just Dad.

[B]

Right.

[A]

These people that think I'm something special, it's not. And it's the same with the reverse of it. People think I'm an. It doesn't mean anything. Yeah, people don't mean anything. All that matters is us.

[B]

Right?

[A]

We love each other.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And I've always been very, you know, I know I'm a manly man or whatever, but, like, I tell him I love him all the time, and he says the same thing. There's no weird tough guy thing. He boxes with me. He's a good fighter.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

He snowboards. Like, he's a. He's a good man. They're both good kids, and that is a lot to do with their mother, which is another reason why I'm so happy. That were cool again, because I owe her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, there was times there where I wasn't doing my part, you know, as much. It wasn't malicious, but the. The fact remains is I should have been.

[B]

Well, and that's the other thing they're gonna learn, is about addictions, you know, what an addiction can do to a relationship. He felt it, and you're gonna help him understand it. But I also, you know, I think about. I'm friends with George Carlin's daughter and. And Frank Zappa's daughter. And, I mean, they grew up in chaos.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that was at a time where chaos didn't exist for kids at that public level.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Frank Zappa's daughter is. She's amazing, and she's well adjusted. She's very loving and peaceful, and, you.

[A]

Know, that's how I feel about my kids. My kids saw their mother operate on a very responsible response, reliable level and has always been professional, courteous, kind hearted person. And then they've seen me be in my worst spot. Well, not my worst spots. They weren't alive for my worst spots.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But telling the stories of them, it's like they happened the other day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But to be where I am now, I'm just so grateful that I got to this level where they can. They see it, they don't ask, they say it. They're like, dad, you know, like what you are right now, like the road rage, like you don't have road rage.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

That's crazy to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I remember there was a time that she told a story to one of her friends, says, my dad has the worst road rage. And my daughter was like, you have no idea.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because there was a time there with my father, she's like, and you don't have it at all now.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I was like, you're saying that I'm not asking for it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're telling me like, yeah, you fix yourself, dad.

[B]

Yeah. They see that there's a journey that, that, you know, whatever state you're in in your life, you, if you take it head on, you can work through it.

[A]

Right. And it can be done. Also, I do have this one thing where it's like, I have accomplished a lot in my life. And they're like, well, how do you do that? I'm like, you never quit.

[B]

Right.

[A]

No matter how tough it gets. And that's the thing that I have that the rest of their family doesn't have. Like, I've reached the highest level and I'm like, there's only one way you get there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's you never stop. Nobody will ever stop me from getting what I'm gonna get.

[B]

I'm looking forward to seeing your stand up career continue because you're doing great and with that attitude. Yeah. I think it's gonna be good. Last question. What is the last time you deeply apologize?

[A]

Wow. Man. I've made some. You know, when I got to that, that step, I called everybody, but I think the last one was. Yeah, it was Katie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Where. Because I wasn't. You know, you're not supposed to make an amends if you think it's going to make it worse.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I was worried that like her even just speaking to me was gonna trigger her to be angry.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I didn't want to do that. Also worried about how I would feel when she told me to go fuck.

[B]

Myself, which she did. Or did. I did not.

[A]

No, it was. She completely accepted it. She still loves me. We're always gonna love each other. It's just a thing where you. We went too far. And then where I am now, like, there's this delusion where I think sometimes that it would work out now, and I'm like, you're not. No offense to her. She's a great person, but what she is in her life, that's not me, man. Like, I don't. I don't want to. I have no problem if you drink and your sex life is all those things. That's cool. But I'm. I'm, like, thinking about, like, I want to, like, hang out with horses. I don't want to. I don't care about the. The smoke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to hang out with animals and my girlfriend.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I want to be a hunter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to. I want to live off the land and will like a rabbit loincloth.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And, like, shoot a bow off a horse.

[B]

Like, that's where you want to hang out with animals. Not women that have sex with animals. I think that's this distinction. That's the fine line.

[A]

That is very true.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Dog. Well played.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Thanks for bringing that back. Full circle.

[B]

Well, that's what this podcast does. I ask really intense, complex questions.

[A]

Yeah. You told me before the show that we weren't going to talk about sex or politics.

[B]

And you thought I was serious. I was like, no cursing, no sex. And you were like, okay.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Did you think I was serious?

[A]

I showed my girlfriend, and she goes, he's joking. Oh, yeah, it's Fitz. I forgot I was in a hurry, man.

[B]

I think we did it all. I think we had a lot of funny shit. We had some deep shit. I always love having you on. You're one of my favorite guests.

[A]

I love you, dude. I always have had the utmost respect for you.

[B]

Thanks, man.

[A]

I always will.

[B]

Come check out his standup comedy. He'll be in San Clemente at the. Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. Coming up, the Comedy Bar in Chicago on December 18th and 19th. Comedy Bar in Detroit. December 20th. Looney Bin in Tulsa. January 28th and 29th. Also coming to Fort Worth, Calgary, Winnipeg, Charlotte. Go to the Jason Ellis with 2L's dot com. Come get some tickets and be a part of the journey.

[A]

Thanks, dude.

[B]

Thanks, Jason.