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Foreign. Hey, welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. It's a beautiful day here in Los Angeles. The rain's about to come in. This is what they call the calm before the storm. I'm gonna run off and play some paddle tennis with Gibbons and then dinner at the Dunsky's house tonight. And then who knows? It's gonna be a rainy week. I want to go see the new Led Zeppelin movie. I think it opens on Friday. Uh, otherwise not a lot going on this week. Doing some spots at the Comedy Store, uh, interviewing the Sklar Brothers on Wednesday. But I'm done. I'm done with my cold weather winter run. I was in Wisconsin twice. New York City. I mean, it's, it was rough. It reminds me. It definitely makes me appreciate coming home. But I did nothing. I had a Sunday night show in. Where the fuck was I? Milwaukee. And I never do Sunday night shows, but it just worked out this way. And the worst is usually Saturday night. You got two shows, they're sold out, and then you get up early the next morning, you fly home and it's all, it's like a big climax at the end. But then if you do a Sunday night show, that means you do the two Saturday night shows and then Sunday you wake up, you got one show that night, generally not sold out, and you just kind of languish all day. You're not focused. You get nothing done. On that Sunday, I had all kinds of plans. I was going to go to the art museum, which is supposed to be very good. I was going to write, I was going to work out, I was going to meditate, did nothing, didn't even masturbate. It was a thankless day. And so, so now I'm back in the airport and I noticed something. Here's what you notice. Good looking people are generally, if they're around other people, they're on their phones. It's almost like there's a subliminal message that they're saying, you are not at my level. You are not the kind of person I would say hello to or hang with. I'm on the phone with like a publicist who's asking me about which party I want to go to tonight. Or I'm on the phone with another really good looking person and we're just, we're arranging where they're going to pick me up in one of those Teslas. That's a truck that people throw rocks at. Or they should. Are they, they should be. If I had a rock near me and one of those was driving by, I might Throw it. Definitely would throw it at a Waymo. Those are the driverless cars in la. But I'm back. I was on the phone with Verizon for 30 minutes yesterday doing something very simple. Why, why do they put you on hold? Why is it that corporate America makes it so that when you call them there's a 12 minute piece of your life that they just abscond, that they just take from you before you get a human on the line? What, what is it about them that's so important that they're paying somebody in the Philippines a dollar a day? So why not hire just a couple more of those dollar a day people for the fucking 180 bucks I spend a month on my bill? And at and t is worse. I was thinking about this because AT&T has been fucking us way long. Here's how long AT&T has been fucking us. Their name is the American telephone and telegraph company. Telegraph. They've been around since like 1880. So your great great grandparents were trying to fucking reach relatives to say that little Johnny died during the Depression. And they were like, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot dash, dash. And then they got, and then they got a telegraph back. Dot, dot, dot, dash. We cannot help you right now. Deep, deep. Hold on while we dot dot dot DE put you through to Cuba. Deep, deep. For tech support. Dot dot deep Something there. I don't know. Here's what I love about being a comedian is you don't really have to know anything. Willful ignorance is the equity of this profession. We, we, we just make shit up. We just go down tangents as if we're experts. We know nothing, literally. Sunday paper starts with letter, starts with corrections. All the things we got wrong. What if you could just call comedians on any that might be a good live show to do, is have comics go up and then you get to call them out on anything that's not truthful. Be a fucking awkward show. Yeah, I was thinking about. Nah, I don't want to talk about that. Let's talk about some letters Darren Johnson wrote in. He said, I liked the Road Dog a lot. That was the film I did with Doug Stanhope. Well, it was Doug Stanhope's film. I had a part in it. Very honest. Look at the various levels of comedy out there and how broken most comics are. I can write a solid joke, but the idea of doing years at various Yuk Yuks in places like King of Prussia seem really depressing to me. Who gives a shit about those yokels? Well, listen, Darren, first Of all, with all due respect and thank you for writing in, I doubt you can write a solid joke. People think they can write solid jokes, but the truth is, until you've stood on a stage and put it out there in front of people and gotten behind it, I'll tell you right now, 90% of the jokes you try on stage do not work. They're garbage and they feel solid. That's why you try them. But you don't know until you've done it in front of people. Like in the King. Like in King of Prussia, which I've never heard of. But that's where you figure it out. That's where you bounce this shit off people and see if you're connecting and whether or not the joke has something to it. But anyway, he says obviously it was a low budget movie, but the characters, including yours, were compelling and sad. Thank you. This movie is like leaving Las Vegas for comedians. Remind people it's free on Tubi if you have to be. I guess if it's free, anybody can get it on tubi. Highly recommend it. Doug does an amazing job. He won best actor at a couple festivals and I feel like the film got overlooked. So check it out. Couple overheards Ray Jepsen said, a good looking teen couple at the mall. I pass and hear we have to check their teeth. As I walk away I see the boy gesturing as though opening a mouth. This is nowhere near a farm where one might expect this conversation. We have to check their teeth. Maybe they have children and they don't have a dental plan and so they have to check their kids teeth. But I always think about that when I see these period pieces about people in like the 18th century and they're like having a scene, a man and a woman and he's a warrior and he's just gotten off a ship for two months where he's eaten nothing but fucking smoked meat. And then they, and then they go in for a kiss and they make out with tongues and it's like, do you have any idea how foul their teeth are? How stinky and rotten and germy and they're making out. I can't even kiss my wife unless I literally go in the bathroom before I kiss my wife and I brush my teeth. If I'm going to give her tongue, I'm brushing my teeth first. I'm totally paranoid about bad breath. It's my worst. I know people with bad breath, we all do. And it's a cardinal trait for a lot of. It's the thing you think of there's comedians that have breath. It's so bad that when they introduce me at the Comedy Store and I have to go on after them using the same mic, I will keep the mic in the stand and stand far away from it. I'm not naming names, but you guys know who I'm talking about. No, you don't gotta stop shit talking comics. Frank Nevenan said, a small town bar in Minnesota, Fox News is on the TV and Kristi Noem is on. And I hear a guy say, she can shoot my dog. Well, you can shoot my dog. Well, shoot my dog, shoot my doggy. That's gonna be a new colloquialism. Is that the word? Maybe I'll get T shirts made. By the way, the Sunday papers. T shirts are still available. They're like 25 bucks. Go to fitzdog.com and pick one up. Jeff Falvi said. At the hospital, sitting in a pre op room, male doctor walks into the room next to me, talks to an older couple. Wife asks the doctor if she thinks her husband needs anesthesia. Dr. Clearly agitated, screams to the lady's husband, quote, do you want me to cut your genitals while you're awake? That sounds like bad bedside manner. It's amazing how many doctors have shitty. I just went to visit my, my mother in law's companion in a nursing home and the nurse came in to check his vitals and she was so fucking nasty. Didn't say hi. He asked a question. And then she goes, I can't hear you. Cause he's having a hard time. Um, and these people make a lot of fucking money. Nurses, people like that, they're in demand, they're making bank. So fucking take it up a notch. Speaking of taking it up a notch, I'll be in Fontana, California at Stage Red. February 22nd, Atlanta Punchline. March 6th through the 8th, Hollywood Improv for the St. Patrick's Day show that sells out every year. March 15th, get your tickets. Hamilton, Ontario, at Levity. March 26th. Then I'll be in Toronto, Pittsburgh, Boston, Escondido. Just announced Tampa, La jolla. Go to fitzdog.com, get some tickets, come out and see some live comedy. My guests, I love this guy. I would put him in my top five guests of all time. He brings it every time and he did this week. He's just a joy. He's a bright light in the room. He's funny, he gets it. When you do somebody's podcast, bring some energy, have some fun. I mean, I can't say enough about this dude, you know, I mean, Jesus Christ, he has some songs fly. I mean, he's got. Sugar Ray has songs that have some of the great hooks. They're pop songs and they. He's very self deprecating about the band and I guess they get, you know, shit on a little bit. I don't know why. I think they're just. I think they're. Anyway, you. He hosted Extra. He's got a show on Sirius xm. He hosted Don't Forget the Lyrics. He was on Rock and Roll Jeopardy. Three time champion on Rock and Roll Jeopardy. We get into a lot of good music talk. Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Wife Swap. He was on the Office Workaholics, Celebrity Big Brother, masked singer. Anyway, he continues to do music around the country while hosting and I just so happy to have him on. So please welcome and enjoy Mark McGrath. Well, this is the highlight of my week. And I'm not just talking about your hair, McGrath. Jesus Christ. Is it even a highlight?