Transcript
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Hi everybody. Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. I am your very congested host, Greg Fitzsimmons. Just back from Skank Fest. I would imagine most people come back from Skank Fest. I got a head cold. I would imagine it's more usually venereal diseases, bone breaks.
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Aids.
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I don't know, I got a bad head cold. If you're not familiar with Skank Fest, it's a convention. I gotta think anybody listening to this knows. But it's a convention by the legion of skanks. Guys in New Orleans used to be in Vegas. This was the first year in New Orleans and I was invited. Very nice to be invited and just way bigger than I ever imagined and way more organized. Like when you think of Louis J. Gomez and, and Big J. Okerson, you don't think of like shuttles running on time and hot meals being prepared and shows running on time and crowds being security being good. Everything was amazing. That, that being said, it was nuts. It was, you know, mushrooms. Everybody's handing you mushrooms and acid and weed. And there's after party at the barely legal hustler club every night. And you know, people fist fighting in a ring. They had a boxing ring, they had a. They had a nude battle roast every night where one guy gets dollar bill stapled to his body with a stapler gun. Like he stands there naked, this 400 pound guy who's painted green like Shrek. And people from the audience come up and they staple gun dollar bills to his body, including his forehead and his taint strip. Yes, that was my first night in town. I can't talk long because I'm so sick. But I just need to tell you a little bit about Skankfest. Every drug is given to these except Ozempic. I think that was the one drug missing that maybe they needed the most. But it's a festival. It's funny because like I've gone to festivals my whole life and usually the whole mo is you get discovered, you get a sitcom, you get famous. And now that model doesn't work like that. Just doesn't happen anymore. There's no sitcoms, there's no development deals. It's. You get famous now by getting canceled. And so Skank Fest comes along where they have like nine. There's 9,000 people in the crowd, like wandering around this convention center. They've all got cell phones while everybody is on drugs and naked and whatever. And. And they're videotaping it. And you're saying shit on podcasts. You would never say on other podcasts, people push the boundaries so far. And I think the idea is let's get canceled and then apologize on Tuesday, doing arenas by Christmas. I think that's the new business model. And the whole crowd, they're all videotaping. And it's all like, it looks like a January 6th uprising. It's a little bit. There's a lot more women there than you would think. But the guys all have like black sneakers and, you know, a Motorhead T shirt and camo shorts and like neck tattoos, lot of beards. A lot of girlfriends that are way better looking than they are. I don't know what the math is on that, but good looking girlfriends, one of them. I'm walking home one night with my friend and we get stopped by. We get stopped by this. These four people on the street and they recognize you. First of all, you get recognized. Like, I've never for four days been stopped on the street as often as here. It was such an ego boost. It was so. The fans are amazing. You know, they just want to tell you where they know you from and that they love you. And they take selfies and it's literally. You feel like Sean Penn or something. I don't know. Sean Penn. Who. Who's famous? John Travolta. I don't know. I felt famous. And these four people stop us and I'm with my friend and this girl starts flirting with him and he goes, I'm gay. And she goes. And she's on acid. Like, this is like 3 o' clock in the morning. And her jaw, like sticking off to the left. Her right eyebrow is up, her teeth are. She looks like a Picasso painting. And she's. And she's. Talking to him, she's flirting. And she go, I don't. Southern accent. I don't believe y' all gay. He goes, no, I'm gay. And she goes, I don't believe it. And he's like, trust me, I'm a gay man. And she goes. And then she reaches in and she grabs his penis with her Hand, like, deep and starts, like, massaging it and, like, kneading it like it's dough. And he's got his hands out to his side going, go at it. I mean, and then the husband. Her husband is standing next to me, and he goes, she gonna get him. She gonna get him. And then he finally admitted that there was a little bit of activity happening. So it was a win for her. It was a win for everybody. And then I was hanging out with Joe List one day at a Starbucks, and there was a huge group of overweight, poorly dressed Midwesterners standing in front of the Starbucks. And this couple comes in, and we start talking to them, and we go, what are you doing? And they go, oh, we're getting picked up by a bus. We're getting on a boat. We're going on a boat tour. And I said, where are you going? And they go, well, we go to Panama and Honduras and whatever. And I go. And I go, oh. And they go, what? I go, you didn't hear about Honduras? And they're like, what? I go, there was a civil war. A civil war started yesterday. You didn't hear about this? And they're like, no. I said, yes, bad. It's like machetes and swords. It's like blood. And Joe List just picks up on it and starts going with me. He's like, oh, yeah, I think. And she goes, well, they go, yeah, our bus is late. They go, do you think that's why our bus is late? And Joe's like, oh, definitely. Yeah, that's why the bus late. And. And then they walk outside and we see them talking to the crowd through the window, and their arms are waving and everybody's talking, and it was fantastic. Anyway, lots of fun stuff like that happen. I'm sorry. I wish I could talk more. There was a Ms. Skank fest, which, you know, it was a beauty contest in a boxing ring. And the winner, I think the winner. They helped her the next day find her parents and get her daughter into rehab. So it was a heartwarming, uh. All right, let's get to it. Shout out to Sean Patton, who I had a great time hanging out with. The best, David Tell. Hung out with David Tell a lot. Really fun time dates coming up. I'll be in Phoenix at the Desert Ridge Improv, November 28th to the 30th. That's right after Thanksgiving. San Francisco Punchline, December 11th through 13. I will be in Bananas in New Jersey December 26th and 27th. Then I'm coming to Cleveland, Atlanta, Sacramento, Philly Lexington, Houston. Go to fitzdog.com, get some tickets. Come on out. We'll see you there. All right. My guest today, actually talked to him last week, and he is the host of the Honeydew. So you already know who he is. Big podcast. And he also has. He is the Crab Feast. Does Crab Feast. I think Crab Feast he used to do with Jay Larson, but now he does another show called the Way Back. He's got huge podcasts. He's hilarious comedian. We had such a good hang together. He's a real friend. I loved him. Please enjoy my chat with the great Ryan Sickler. Welcome to Fitz Dog Radio. My guest is the mighty and skinny Ryan Sickler. You're down. You told me 30 pounds almost.