Fixable Podcast – Episode Summary

Podcast: Fixable
Episode: How to Challenge Negative Self-Beliefs (w/ Master Fixer Muriel Wilkins)
Date: February 23, 2026
Hosts: Anne Morriss, Frances Frei
Guest: Muriel Wilkins (Executive Coach and Author of "Leadership Unblocked")

Main Theme

This episode focuses on the internal “leadership blockers” that hinder professional growth and well-being, with a special emphasis on challenging negative self-beliefs. Executive coach Muriel Wilkins joins to discuss insights from her new book, Leadership Unblocked, and answers listener workplace dilemmas. The tone is conversational, honest, and supportive, balancing wisdom with practical, actionable advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction: Feeling Stuck at Work

• [01:12] Frances and Anne talk about the universality of feeling “blocked,” even as experienced leaders.
• Frances shares her own story of being blocked while writing case studies at Harvard, and how expressing her struggle to someone else helped her get unblocked.
  • Frances: "When I say something aloud to another person, being unblocked often is on the other side of it." [01:45]

The Seven Common Leadership Blockers

[04:05] Muriel identifies these recurring internal beliefs that act as blockers:

1. I need to be involved
2. I need it done now
3. I know I’m right
4. I can’t make a mistake
5. If I can do it, so can you
6. I can’t say no
7. I don’t belong

Muriel: “This list is not exhaustive ... These are the ones I saw as most popular when I looked across 300ish clients over 20 years.” [04:16]

Exploring “I Need to Be Involved”

[04:33]–[09:33]

• Common among founders/CEOs, who fear stepping back is an existential risk.
• The real issue isn’t micromanagement—it’s feeling burnt out, frustrated by not being everywhere, and sensing things falling through the cracks.
• Muriel advises starting by:
  • Recognizing and naming the issue (“There may be some dissonance”).
  • Examining the underlying beliefs and assumptions ("What am I thinking about myself, others, or the situation?").
  • Accepting ownership of the issue; changing behaviors starts with changing the beliefs that drive them.
  • Many beliefs are rooted in core human needs: worth, acceptance, safety.
  • Especially for founders, identity can be deeply wrapped in the business’s success or failure.

Muriel: “Let’s be responsible for what we think rather than let it run on autopilot.” [08:30]
Muriel: “Founders feel threatened about their own identity because they are the business.” [08:57]

Exploring “I Don’t Belong”

[10:39]–[17:14]

• Anne raises “I don’t belong here”—a belief she has wrestled with, common in the workplace.
• Muriel unpacks tension between individual agency and systemic responsibility for inclusion.
• It’s crucial to differentiate between facts ("I'm the only woman here") and the narrative one attaches to those facts.
  • These beliefs can be learned/internalized from the system, not only self-generated.
  • This applies to everyone, not just underrepresented groups.

Muriel: “Is this truly my belief, or is it a learned belief?” [11:38]

How to Challenge “I Don’t Belong”

• Start by recognizing problematic patterns (e.g., not speaking in meetings).
• Reverse engineer your goal: “How do I want to come across?” Work backward: “What would I need to believe to make that true?”
  • E.g., “I would need to believe I belong here because I have something to contribute.”
  • Key distinction: belonging vs. being accepted by others.

Muriel: “Beliefs are malleable!” [14:56] Anne: “The breakthrough for me was ‘belonging is overrated.’” [15:05] Muriel: “See things for what they are, not what you think they mean.” [17:11]

Agency and Meaning-Making

• The “so what” is determined by the meaning you create—not by the situation alone.
• One’s experience can shift dramatically even if no one else in the room changes.
• Waiting for external change is disempowering; real growth starts with shifting your own mindset.
• Cites Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul: Instead of making everything outside okay, tap into internal power and agency.

Muriel: “Agency is recognizing what are the choices that I have in front of me... Choice gives you freedom, liberation, movement—and power.” [21:12]

Listener Questions & Practical Fixes

1. Wanting Advancement but No Opportunities

[22:17]–[25:20]

• Listener is an individual contributor who wants to become a leader but sees few opportunities to advance.
• Muriel suggests first clarifying what “advancement” means—is it only a promotion?
• Look for ways to grow skill and scope, even if a formal promotion isn’t available.
• Consider what’s in your control: Are there alternative ways to gain experience/visibility?
• Gather data about the likelihood and timing of promotion—be realistic about organizational norms.
• If you still want a promotion, get feedback about what it takes and whether you want to do it.

Muriel: “Promotions are not fully, if at all, in our control ... sometimes it has nothing to do with you.” [24:00]

2. Shifting from Operator to Strategic Leader

[27:10]–[31:23]

• Listener feels typecast as a reliable “doer” but wants to participate in strategic conversations.
• Muriel: “People know you for what you show up as.”
• To shift perception: Go on a deliberate “PR campaign.” Tell people you want to work strategically. Ask for specific opportunities/projects.
• Don’t wait for others—make recommendations and volunteer for big-picture initiatives.
• Frances suggests asking leaders how they think about strategic issues to build skills and signal intent without being direct.

Muriel: “If you’re stuck in a rut in terms of how you’re perceived, you need to go tell people that, no, here’s the other part of you.” [29:51]

3. Being Steady for the Team in Uncertainty

[31:23]–[36:15]

• Listener worries about being emotionally steady for their team when they themselves feel unsettled.
• Muriel challenges the idea that steadiness means always feeling good.
• Instead, “feeling steady is that even though there’s change around me, I can stand grounded in the moment.”
• The first step: Understand what personally grounds you. Everyone’s source of steadiness is unique.
• Don’t expect external circumstances to make you steady—resource yourself.

Muriel: “What this is really about is being a resource to yourself versus outsourcing what you need.” [35:17] Muriel: “Real growth and maturity happens when we can resource, not just outsource.” [36:01]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Frances: “When I say something aloud to another person, being unblocked often is on the other side of it.” [01:45]
• Muriel: “Let’s be responsible for what we think rather than let it run on autopilot.” [08:30]
• Anne: “The breakthrough for me was belonging is overrated.” [15:05]
• Frances: “All the change was in your own mind.” [19:16]
• Muriel: “Agency is recognizing what are the choices... Choice gives you freedom.” [21:12]
• Muriel: “People know you for what you show up as.” [27:28]
• Muriel: “Be a resource to yourself versus outsourcing what you need.” [35:17]

Lighthearted Ending & Fixation

[36:48]–[38:41]

• Muriel shares her current obsession: the TV show “Industry,” praised for its raw depiction of workplace dynamics and the reminder that we remain fundamentally human at work.

Muriel: “It shows the characters as real human beings ... I think we forget that we are humans at work.” [38:15]

Takeaways & Actionable Insights

• Leadership blockers are internal beliefs—recognize and consciously challenge them.
• Separate fact from interpretation; create meaning that empowers you.
• Agency and change start with oneself, not with waiting for external shifts.
• Advancement and recognition require both introspection (what do I truly want?) and visible action (show up as who you want to be).
• In uncertainty, resource yourself—find what grounds you and don’t depend on outside factors.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:12] Blockages at work—Frances shares a personal example
• [04:05] Muriel lists the seven leadership blockers
• [04:33] Deep dive into “I need to be involved”
• [10:39] Tackling “I don’t belong” beliefs
• [13:38] Coaching story: overcoming impostor feelings in a new leadership role
• [22:17] Listener Q: Advancement when promotion isn’t forthcoming
• [27:10] Listener Q: Achieving the “strategic leader” perception
• [31:23] Listener Q: Staying steady for your team amid uncertainty
• [36:48] Muriel’s current obsession: the show “Industry”

Closing Thought

Agency—the ability to choose your beliefs, meanings, and behaviors—is at the heart of overcoming negative self-beliefs and becoming the leader you want to be.