Transcript

David Farrier (0:02)

Dave, Dave. Dave. Hi, Hayden. My little New Year Snugglebug. What? You never say anything like that to me in real life. It's just a show that you put on for the podcast. You'll be glad to know that I found a website called 100 Cute Pet Nicknames to call your girlfriend or fiance New Year. Snugglebug was in there. I added the New Year. Just riffing a little bit. Okay. Do you want to hear some of the other names I've got coming up for you? No, no. I'd like it to be a surprise. Okay. This episode is actually going out on January 6th. A big day for America. I'm just wondering how you're feeling about this year ahead for Flightless Bird. Well, that's not the direction I thought you were going to go in there. I mean, you're running out of stuff. Let's face it. How many differences could there be between two anglosphere countries with sort of broadly similar cultural references? You're going to be doing some weird, like the Americans stamp their feet slightly louder going up the stairs soon. So I feel like you're pretty much fucked. That's what I'd say about Flightless Bird. But you do seem to be branching out into music and stuff. It's going out on January 6th. Do you want to ask me about, like the insurrection and the lapse into fascism in your country or is this just. Just you just want to look inside on this auspicious day? I'm a bit scared on this particular day to sort of look outward because it's just too scary, you know? Yeah, you look outward, it could be someone climbing the wall. I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. And yes, welcome to 2026. Hayden said flightless Spirit is running out of ideas, which is categorically false. Hayden talks a lot of shit. I'm used to it by now. One thing he did say though, isn't completely off the wall, and that's that our stories here will get weird at times. And today's episode is a very good example of that because what if I told you that America's biggest animal rescue organization, endorsed by the likes of Mark Wahlberg, acclaimed actor, actually began as a full blown cult that worshiped four deities, including Lucifer and Satan, who, if you're wondering, are not the same thing. They're different. And what if I told you that cult members are still working at America's biggest animal rescue organization? Well, all of Those things are true. And the rescue brings in around $100 million a year. And it's called the Best Friends Animal Society. So get ready to decide if you want to rescue a load of animals or pay your respects to Satan, because this is the Best Friends episode. Please don't sue us. Flagless flightless, Flightless birds Hunts down in America. I'm a flightless bird Touchdown in America.

Rob (2:52)

When I first saw we were doing this episode, I thought you were just doing an episode on us.

David Farrier (2:57)

Summary

Flightless Bird – "Best Friends: Animal Cult"

Date: January 6, 2026
Host: David Farrier (with Rob, co-host)
Main Guest: Jared Garrett
Theme: Unpacking the bizarre, cultic origins of America’s largest animal rescue organization, Best Friends Animal Society, and how its hidden past still lingers today.

Episode Overview

In this investigative episode, David Farrier and cohost Rob dive into the extraordinary story behind Best Friends Animal Society—America's largest and most influential animal rescue organization. With endorsements from celebrities like Mark Wahlberg and a "no-kill" mission celebrated nationwide, Best Friends seems like pure-hearted philanthropy. But as David reveals through interviews and deep reporting (originally begun for his Webworm newsletter), its roots are tangled in the bizarre history of a satanic cult, child labor, and a legacy of secrecy that persists in its culture today.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Animal Charities in America vs. New Zealand

Intro Banter: David and Rob open with a lighthearted exchange before quickly pivoting to the subject of animal shelters—touching on how animal advocacy is a "safe" celebrity cause in America.
Cultural Divide:
- New Zealand’s SPCA is strict and publicly sanctioned, while in America, animal shelters are highly marketing-driven, often powered by celebrity endorsement and philanthropy (06:16–10:07).
- Discussion about the effectiveness and emotion-driven tactics of American animal charity commercials, specifically referencing the iconic Sarah McLachlan ad which raised $30 million in a year (07:46–08:57, 09:01).

2. The Allure—and Pitfalls—of Animal Rescue

No-Kill Ideals and Intrapersonal Drama:
- Best Friends’ "no-kill" mission adds intense pressure on other shelters and can often create situations where animals are rapidly placed without due vetting (11:16–12:25).
- David points out the animal rescue world, especially in America, attracts a certain “level of derangement”—there’s a competitive, almost cult-like mentality, and organizational politics can get “so fucking feral so quickly here in America” (12:31–14:00).
- Quote (David):
  - “There is a certain like cult think within those worlds that get really crazy… Animal rescuers are in a whole other level of intensity.” (13:23)

3. Best Friends Animal Society Today: Success on the Surface

One of the largest sanctuaries in America—30,000 acres in Utah, about 1,500 animals, brings in over $100 million annually (14:18–15:55).
Marketed as an all-American success story with facilities nationwide, TV series (“DogTown” on Nat Geo), and celebrities leading campaigns (15:55–16:40).

4. The Hidden Origin: A Cult Called The Process

Interview with Jared Garrett – Cult Survivor
- Jared’s parents were recruited into The Process Church of the Final Judgment—a British-born cult with roots in Scientology, infamous in the 1960s–70s (17:00–19:45).
- The cult revered four deities—Jehovah, Lucifer, Satan, Christ—allowed members to choose allegiances, cultivated a dramatic, apocalyptic image, wore black cloaks, kept German shepherds, and sparked rumors of satanic murder (19:45–21:13, 25:39).
- Internal family structures were intentionally destabilized; even parentage was kept secret from the children (27:33–28:55).
- Quote (Jared, on childhood):
  - “We didn’t have anything even resembling [stability]. Just that neglect and abuse can be a trauma. And it was bad.” (30:13)

5. The Pivot: From Cult to Animal Charity

The Process eventually rebranded as "The Foundation Faith of God," still commune-like, with a fascination for animal rescue (22:59–25:32).
Child Labor:
- As teens, Jared and other cult kids were sent every summer to Utah to build what would become the Best Friends facility: “We would work 10, sometimes 12 hour days… digging trenches for water supply lines… framing, dog poop scooping, cat run building…” (32:02–33:04).
- Quote (David):
  - “You’re sort of saying… the early iterations of Best Friends was sort of partly built by child labor. Really?”
- Quote (Jared):
  - “Oh yeah. Absolutely. It was absolutely child labor.” (33:49)

6. Whitewashed History: Gaps and Gloss

The modern Best Friends’ website references their founders only as a “scrappy group of friends”—glossing over 20 years of cult activity and child labor (34:07–37:27).
The original leaders—specifically “Gabriel,” a pivotal cult member—remain at Best Friends and are presented as benign founders on the website, fueling questions about cultural continuity (41:26–41:47).
- Quote (Jared, about Gabriel):
  - “When Gabriel walks in, there is an expectation that a hush should fall… He cultivates that… has worn earth colors… looks a lot like Jesus. There’s no question in my mind he’s trying to have that appearance.” (41:47)

7. What Remains of the Cult? Lingering Culture and Leadership

No overt religious practices now; however, the organization still harbors a quasi-religious reverence for animals (“Animals were held very much over humanity. Humanity was a disease who needed to do better.”) and a strict internal hierarchy (40:17–41:26).
Secretive practices and lack of transparency persist—paralleling cult mechanisms:
- Quote (Jared):
  - “Why are they so this way? Why can’t they be transparent about things? Why do I have to talk to certain people in this certain very respectful, almost worshipful way?” (41:26)

8. Accountability and PR—Or Lack Thereof

David’s attempts to get comment from Best Friends were stonewalled or dismissed. Their PR replied, “Most of the information you’re looking for can be found on the website. Feel free to dig around there.” and characterized the cult past as “ancient history… just that,” calling the child labor a “colorful origin story” (48:58–49:12).
- Quote (David):
  - “It’s just a really interesting headspace they’re in.” (49:26)
- The presence of a “crisis PR team” itself is telling of the ongoing need to manage bad press (50:01–50:24).

9. Unique Rebranding: Can Good Come from a Cult?

Unlike other infamous groups, Best Friends evolved into a net positive (as far as public-facing work), but the old guard remains powerful, and their influence in culture and structural hierarchy is impossible to ignore (50:30–54:06).
Quote (David):
- “…looking at this from the other way, I can’t think of another example where a cult has rebranded into something that is a net positive. Like, they are doing good stuff. But… some of those leaders are still gonna be getting. It’s that stuff that still feels a bit culty.” (51:06)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Rob, on celebs supporting animal orgs:
- “When you’re a celebrity, you’re kind of looking for the safest possible thing to support.” (06:33)
On child labor and the cult’s hidden history:
- “There’s nothing non true in their website history… It’s just that 20 years are erased, right? And a lot of stuff is glossed over. And the fact that 30 children were born in this thing and help build… are erased…” (Jared, 36:47)
David, summarizing the episode’s shock value:
- “This is one of the most batshit things I’ve ever heard.” (44:43)
David, frustrated with Best Friends’ evasive PR:
- “‘Most of the information you’re looking for can be found on the website…’ Utter bullshit… What you just heard in this podcast is not on their website.” (48:58)

Timestamps for Key Segments

00:00–02:52: Opening banter; the surprise direction of the episode
05:24–07:23: American animal charities, celebrity involvement, and the phenomenon of the “no-kill” movement
14:18–15:55: The scale and fundraising prowess of Best Friends Animal Society
17:00–19:45: Interview introduction and background – The Process Church cult origins
30:00–34:07: Jared details neglect, abuse, and massive child labor at the Utah site
37:27–41:47: Ongoing cult culture and the mythologizing of the founders inside Best Friends
44:43–48:14: David and Rob’s analytic “debrief”; PR stonewalling, and children’s role in building Best Friends
50:24–54:06: Speculation on why the organization remains silent, the impossibility of accountability with cult leadership still in power

Tone & Style

David maintains his signature blend of deadpan Kiwi wit, unflappable curiosity, and non-judgmental but deeply skeptical reporting.
The tone is thoughtful, alternately amused and horrified, retaining empathy for both animals and the humans caught in the cult’s legacy.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Heard the Episode

This episode uncovers the wild, largely untold origin story of America’s most famous animal sanctuary—a story of British cultists, child labor, buried trauma, and a modern charity still led by its original cult hierarchy. While Best Friends does considerable good, this exposé challenges listeners to question the ethics of whitewashed histories and the lingering influence of charismatic, unaccountable founders.

Additional Listener Prompts

If you have experiences with Best Friends, David encourages you to email the show at flightlessbirdchat@gmail.com.
Key lingering questions: How does the animal rescue world attract cultish energy? Should current good deeds ever excuse a buried, abusive past? Why is transparency still so hard for “reformed” organizations?