Flightless Bird – "Nest Sessions: Peter Matthew Bauer on Growing Up in a Meditation Cult"
Podcast: Flightless Bird
Host(s): David Farrier, Rob
Guest: Peter Matthew Bauer
Air Date: February 5, 2026
Overview
In this intimate Nest Session, journalist David Farrier and cohost Rob welcome musician Peter Matthew Bauer (formerly of The Walkmen) to discuss his singular childhood spent between Washington D.C. and a New York meditation ashram—an experience he candidly describes as “growing up in a meditation cult.” Over hash brown casserole (a Kentucky family recipe), they delve into the American phenomenon of spiritual seeking, cult dynamics, parental influence, and the collateral effects on personal identity, creativity, and skepticism. The conversation is candid, humorous, occasionally dark, and ultimately explores the uniquely American quest for meaning and belonging—blending music, memory, and existential musings.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Middle Names, Americana, & Casserole Culture
[00:14–03:32]
- The trio starts playfully discussing the significance of middle names, joking about “serial killer” vibes (Peter’s full name: Peter Matthew Bauer).
- Peter brings hash brown casserole (“Marisa’s [Peter’s wife’s] Kentucky family recipe”), which Farrier delights in ("It smells fucking amazing." – David, [01:48]).
- Casseroles as a comfort food are highlighted as a Southern and American tradition—specifically tied to holidays and communal gatherings.
Notable Quotes:
- “Sometimes you get into those things and you're like, oof. There's some weird things in a casserole... But this one is like, actually just… It's all business.” – Peter, [01:49]
- “There's an element of, like, slop to a casserole.” – Guest/Producer, [02:03]
2. Peter’s Upbringing: D.C., Parents, and Family Practices
[03:34–06:06]
- Peter clarifies he's from Washington, D.C.—describing it as a “weird culture,” more transient today, but nostalgic in his memory.
- His parents were psychologists, running their practice out of their home: “The waiting room was our living room... I'd sit there…and then there'd be another stranger...going through a crisis.” – Peter, [06:02]
- Upstairs: psychology practice. Downstairs: meditation center.
3. Inside the Meditation Cult/Ashram Experience
[06:18–13:44]
- Peter explains, “I grew up in…an ashram and meditation cults, which are not, like, thought of as, you know… red, white and blue America.” ([06:23])
- From ages 3–4, he lived in India at a guru’s ashram; most summers meant returning to the same guru, whose main center was in upstate New York in the Catskills—ironically, near the “Dirty Dancing” resort.
- Ashram life was a blend of Americana (converted Catskills resorts) and Eastern spiritual trappings—“a kind of gaudy statue of Krishna and Shiva.” ([07:18])
- Parents’ journey: Father nearly became a Catholic priest; became followers after meeting the guru.
- Notable: 1980s ashram culture attracted celebrities (Barbra Streisand, Vernon Reid of Living Colour).
- A pivotal New Yorker article revealed scandal and widespread abuse, likened to “Wild, Wild Country—but with less guns” ([08:44]).
Candid Reflections:
- “Looking back at it, was it a good time or was it quite chaotic?” – David ([08:47])
- “It’s definitely defined my life… the way I think about things… You’re free. You could roam the woods, make friends, play Dungeons and Dragons… But then as you get older, they start making you do work for God.” – Peter ([09:04], [09:58], [10:17])
- Peter describes the shift from carefree childhood to forced labor (“digging a ditch for free”), and the emergence of an “in-crowd” of especially indoctrinated kids ([10:26]).
4. Early Dissonance, Questioning Authority & Cult Dynamics
[11:00–17:36]
- Peter pinpoints his first disillusionment as a child: after an internal power struggle, the ashram leadership ordered burning photos of a “bad” guru, which disturbed Peter—not for spiritual reasons, but “because I cared about the dog.” ([12:12])
- He reflects on his “anti-authoritarian problem,” resistant to groupthink, false structures, and charismatic leaders.
- Open about the darker realities: “A lot of really terrible things happened there... a lot of sexual abuse…” ([14:17]). He shares a painful story of a peer who was told by the guru he was “evil,” an emotional wound that haunted him into adulthood ([16:01]).
- Peter offers a controversial thesis: “There’s always sexual abuse… It’s primary to the whole thing… the whole point of it, where that energy comes from.” ([16:23–16:39])
Notable Quotes:
- “It’s always with a cult, isn't it? You always end up digging ditches.” – David, [10:26]
- “I have a very unfounded theory that you just—it’s primary to the whole thing…without that element, the whole thing wouldn’t exist.” – Peter, [16:23]
5. Return Visits & Evolving Belief Systems
[20:08–22:23]
- Recounting a recent visit to the now-decaying ashram: “Everything was run down… had a very much kind of Gray Gardens feeling to it.” – Peter, [20:51]
- Reflects on how growing up in this environment forged his “belief system, or lack of belief system,” and recounted being trained as an astrologer (“the backup career”).
- Peter on astrology: “I don't really believe this... but it's a fun art... another way of encapsulating the atmosphere you're in.” ([22:28], [22:48])
6. Cult Energy, Astrology, and Modern America
[23:01–25:56]
- Peter draws connections between his ashram upbringing, astrology studies, and America’s rising “cultic energy”—connecting astrological cycles (rahu/ketu) to American “toxicity” and the Trump era ([23:01–24:28]).
- “If you live as it is versus how it's supposed to be, you have a lot more success on a personal level with this energy…” ([25:38–25:56])
- David shares skepticism but appreciates astrology as a communal language or way of inhabiting reality: “You can't just sort of write it off, because that's how a whole lot of people talk to each other and understand the world…” ([26:21])
7. Music, Ethics, and the Streaming Economy
[29:34–37:41]
- Peter explains how the ashram led, indirectly, to his music career in D.C., joining the Walkmen cohort, and the formation of his musical identity.
- He discusses his recent decision to pull his solo music from Spotify, motivated partly by the platform funding AI weapons tech (“Helsing AI”) and concerns over artist exploitation.
- “Saying no to your own destruction can be fun.” – Peter quoting Deerhoof's Greg Saunier ([41:38])
- Farrier relates, sharing a recent platform ethics decision: moving his newsletter off Substack after learning about its problematic content hosting ([37:08–37:20]).
- They reflect on the ethical tightrope of being a creator in the digital age.
8. Performances & Artistic Reflection
[44:31–55:48] Peter performs three songs live (“Doom,” “Knife Fighter,” “Gold Paint for Blue Sky”), each tied to the episode’s themes of uncertainty, memory, and resilience.
- “Doom” is explicitly described as a response to the toxicity and technological anxiety of the present, encapsulating his resistance to exploitative systems and digital devaluation of music.
- Throughout, Peter and the hosts riff on the nature of art, improvisation, and the pressures artists face in a rapidly changing world.
Notable & Memorable Moments
“Serial killer name” banter
Peter: "I kind of like having a middle name thing. It makes you seem timeless."
David: "Serial killer. Or just a bit more iconic." ([00:26–00:31])
Childhood Indoctrination and Rebellion
"But you were free. You can kind of roam the woods and... make friends and play Dungeons and Dragons and skateboard... Then as you get... older... they start making you do work for God..."
— Peter, [09:58–10:17]
First real doubt
"They were literally, like, disappearing, like, burning the pictures of the other guru who had been the guru, like, an hour ago..."
— Peter, [12:14]
On belief and skepticism
"I have a very anti-authoritarian problem. I would say...Any sort of structured program of, especially religious thing, I get real [reactive].
— Peter, [12:57]
Cultic energy and astrological metaphors
"The thing that I got out of growing up in this stuff is this exact thing—what’s called...rahu...It's like this subtle, esoteric energy...very creative and revolutionary...but can have this negative, crazy toxicity."
— Peter, [24:29]
Refusing the system
"Saying no to your own destruction can be fun."
— Peter (quoting Greg Saunier), [41:38]
Performance Timestamps
- Doom: [44:31–47:41]
- Knife Fighter: [48:30–52:21]
- Gold Paint for Blue Sky: [52:21–55:48]
Conclusion & Takeaways
- Bauer’s story is a case study in America’s contradictory spiritual landscape: unbounded freedom, cultic susceptibility, creative flourishing, and deep-rooted skepticism.
- The episode gently weaves together food, humor, dark history, art, and spiritual difference—showcasing both the dangers and strange gifts of growing up in a non-traditional, spiritually charged environment.
- Peter’s journey from ashram child to indie rock musician is marked by a refusal to submit to authority in any form, and a manic, searching creativity that's evident in his music and worldview.
- The “Nest Session” closes with gratitude, laughter, song, and casserole—a fittingly communal, if a bit surreal, American ending.
For listeners who missed the episode:
This installment is a deeply personal, non-judgmental inquiry into what it means to come of age on the fringes of American spiritual and musical cultures, how to survive and create meaning in a fractured, cult-prone society, and how to draw boundaries between self-actualization and self-destruction—even if you have to dig your way out.