← Flipping Tables
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- [00:00]
Monte Mater
Hello and welcome back to Flipping Tables, where we talk deconstruction, exvangelical talks, US history and a little bit of everything else in what's going on in today's world. I'm your host, Monte Mater, and I have another interview for you today that might kind of surprise you. A local friend of mine in the music scene here in Nashville. Now many of you have heard me mention on the podcast or in my content on Instagram that I used to be a fundamentalist Christian nationalist. He and along with that I was very anti lgbtq. I was very homophobic, very transphobic. Didn't said a lot of things I regret. One story that stands out in my mind was a new friend I was finally making post college, my first real adult friend. She was great and her brother was trans and I said something on my Facebook wall that was pretty offensive. And she messages me politely and she tries to have a conversation with me and I am just not having it. I have drawn my line. This is what my preacher told me and my dad told me. I didn't know why it was wrong, I was just told it was wrong. And I was trying to be the perfect Christian and she ended up blocking me as she should because I was a jerk and I was talking about something I didn't understand and something that had been indoctrinated into me from a young age. And I'm very thankful to not be that person anymore. And I'm hoping that as time goes on, people will take the time to learn about each other, get to know each other as humans, and change the way that we have these conversations. And that's part of the reason my very good friend is here with us today. Allison Blake Dellinger is a Tennessean artist and music multi instrumentalist primarily known for being the founder, lead vocalist and bassist of the experimental heavy rock band Flummox. She is also known for her representation in the trans community, her Christian fundamentalist upbringing, and her obsession with opossums. If you see the artwork, you will see what that's about. When she's not touring, performing or making music, she is either working in a local arcade or nestled in a blanket cocoon with her three cats. Her new album with Flummox, Southern Progress, is now available everywhere on streaming vinyl, CD and cassette. And I met Allie at a Foo Fighters tribute concert that we were both performing. It was the first time I had seen her right and I had performed. I was getting ready to leave cause I had work at 6am the next day and I don't remember what song it was. But she unleashes this deep, guttural, beautiful metal growl. And I spun full circle on my heel and was like, who was that? Who made that noise? So on today's episode, we're gonna talk music, the trans community, what it's like to live that experience, especially coming from a Christian fundamentalist. Back on today's episode of Flipping Tables. Ally, thank you for being here today especially so last minute. And you're my first in person interview, really. This is new for me. I'm normally talking to a screen in front of me on Zoom.
- [02:49]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, that's really cool, but.
- [02:51]
Monte Mater
And you go on tour tomorrow, so. Extra. Thank you for coming in the day before a tour starts. I know a lot about you. We've had these conversations and we've talked about art and community. Tell us a little bit about yourself, where you grew up, how you grew up, all the things, et cetera.
- [03:07]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, I am born and raised here in. In Tennessee, specifically Murfreesboro. And I came up. I was raised in the church, definitely, like, have a similar fundamentalist background as well. As far as just. I like to. I like to joke that my. My mom was QAnon before it was, you know, just very sorry. It's true. I mean, you know, the conspiracy theories were always there and that sort of thing. You know, I grew. I was brought up in. I was taken out of public school at an early age because they didn't want me learning about evolution and education. And that was a whole other thing. I went to a local private Christian school that's still around still, I'm sure, preaching the good word. Big quotation marks there. And I knew from an early age that there was something off with my whole deal. Not specifically the religious aspect of things, but I just didn't feel like my male peers and that sort of thing. And there was definitely something queer going on. But I didn't really figure it out, obviously, for a while. I repressed it like super hardcore. But eventually I got into music. I was in. I was in a chapel band.
- [04:38]
Monte Mater
I was too. I played bass in a praise band.
- [04:41]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Same. Yep. Oh, look at that. And from there I just, you know, once I started getting into more like secular music, right? Like the Black Sabbaths and that sort of thing, and the Weird Al Yankovic of the world.
- [04:59]
Monte Mater
Yeah.
- [04:59]
Allison Blake Dellinger
So very interesting spectrum, but believe me, it's all there. I just dove headfirst into music and I've just been at it ever since. And that sort of guided me into my own, I guess, way of thinking. And you Know, perspective. And I eventually found myself, you know, I got out of the church in my, like mid teens and you know, unfortunately I feel like I was a bit of like a, like an edgy kind of atheist at first, you know, because you kind of have that. Like a lot of people, when they initially like deconstruct, it's almost like they go full tilt in the opposite direction.
- [05:45]
Monte Mater
None of this is real. You can't touch it. It's not real.
- [05:47]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Very Richard Dawkins about it, you know, very like, you know, arrogant about a lot of things because, like, I'm at a point now for sure, since I've been so removed for it for so long. I definitely still have a lot of reverence for the red letters, so to speak.
- [06:08]
Monte Mater
The red letters are the good part.
- [06:09]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [06:09]
Monte Mater
For those of you who listen, because we do have quite a few non religious folks. Those are the words of Christ in the Bible, right.
- [06:16]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And it's, it's definitely like something that I've been able to kind of, especially given the time period that we're in and all of the different horrible things that are happening, the rise of the fascist theocracy and so forth. I. It has really been almost therapeutic in a way to kind of reclaim some of that from my upbringing that I actually did and still do apply to my own morals and values. Of course, like most good Christians, I cherry pick well.
- [06:56]
Monte Mater
I find it's with the, with the words of Christ especially. I'm just like, anyone of any religion can get behind this, right? Like the loving your neighbor, taking care of the poor, all of those things, like across the board, just a good ethical way to live. And I did kind of the same thing where I had this period of rage when I first deconstructed where I'm like, I'm not having anything to do with this. But now I'm like, you know what? I can read the words of this great teacher and honor them and respect them as an admirable way to live without all the other dogma and doctrine that comes with it. Especially because, I'm sorry, did you grow up Baptist since you're from Tennessee?
- [07:32]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Southern Baptist.
- [07:33]
Monte Mater
Southern Baptist, I did as well in Wyoming. So it wasn't, it was just Baptist. So when was the first time that you remember recognizing something feels different?
- [07:45]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Ooh. Well, I knew. So obviously when we're all little kids, when we're all toddlers, we're all fairly androgynous. There's not like a whole lot of differences in body and face and so forth. And I Had this curly hair and everything that I do now still. And I always got mistaken getting pushed around in a stroller. I always got mistaken for a little girl. And my parents, whenever that would happen, they were very vehemently, you know, they'd say, oh, you know, some stranger would be like, oh, you know, your daughter's so cute, or something like that. And my parents, he, you know, he's a boy. That's my. That's my son, blah, blah, blah. So I learned from a very early age that, like, being feminine was just a big no, no. And for you. For me? Yeah. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm not supposed to be that. And I was actually like, for a little while there, I don't know if you remember, like the. It was like a clothe. A clothing chain called Carter's. It was mainly like little kids clothes. I was like a, A model for some of that stuff. When I was very, very young, my mom worked for that company. And I remember, you know, being in some like, hot, itchy, like, jumper kind of thing while, you know, all these other, you know, these other girls were getting to wear these very cute outfits. And I just kind of remember being like, I wish I could wear those kind of, you know, outfits or something and not really, you know, and like, those are just like little memories that I had that I didn't really think too much about until I started questioning my gender identity, like, for real, I would say.
- [09:30]
Monte Mater
And when was that?
- [09:31]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Early 20s. I mean, there is definitely some stuff leading up to it. I mean, I remember I came out to a friend of mine when I was coming out to a friend of mine. And you know, they were like. You do realize, like in high school you used to tell people that you were like a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Right. And I'm like, I guess I did say that I predicted my future.
- [09:52]
Monte Mater
Yeah.
- [09:52]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I mean, because like, there was like there the way I. I describe it, especially when I'm talking to other trans people and they know, and they, they know what I'm talking about when I say this. But like, once you kind of figure it out, it's like all the dominoes finally come down. There's all of these memories throughout your childhood and so on that you don't understand why those are the memories that stick out in your head more than like, say any. Like, what would, what memories would stick out in most people's.
- [10:22]
Monte Mater
You know, for most people, just one Christmas, right? Yeah.
- [10:26]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And for me, it's like the time I asked if I could be Raven from the Teen Titans for Halloween when I was, like, 10 and my parents lost their shit about it.
- [10:34]
Monte Mater
I'm surprised they even let you celebrate Halloween. We weren't allowed to. To celebrate it. And I stayed overnight one time at my best friend's growing up when. And it was Halloween night. My dad's like, well, you can stay the night with her, but you can't go trick or treating.
- [10:46]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right?
- [10:46]
Monte Mater
So we, like, weren't allowed to wear a costume. We couldn't go trick or treating. We couldn't, you know.
- [10:50]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Oh, I did the trunk or treating thing for sure.
- [10:52]
Monte Mater
Oh, that's right.
- [10:53]
Allison Blake Dellinger
There was definitely that. The trunk or treating, which is just Halloween. Okay.
- [10:58]
Monte Mater
It's just Halloween.
- [11:00]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It's like, like, it's. I don't know, it's like some weird Christian loophole. Jesus. Yeah. Yes, it's. It's. It is how, you know, Trunk or Treat is to Halloween what soaking is to. Anyway, so.
- [11:17]
Monte Mater
If you don't know what that is, go Google it. You're welcome.
- [11:19]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, that's. That's for another podcast.
- [11:22]
Monte Mater
Jump thumping. Is that what it's called, the other one? Jump. Jump humping or jump thumping?
- [11:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It's.
- [11:27]
Monte Mater
It's specifically very Mormon.
- [11:29]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, I know what soaking is, though. Yeah, it was. It was very much like. Because, yeah, the Halloween thing, it was like, yeah, you can dress up and do the fall festival or. Yeah, trunk or treat thing.
- [11:42]
Monte Mater
But I remember you can't dress as a witch either.
- [11:44]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That's a.
- [11:44]
Monte Mater
No, no, you can't. You can't.
- [11:45]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Or the devils or anything like that. But, yeah, when I remember, I was really big and like the Teen Titans, you know, and like, Raven was like. Was a character that I just, for some reason, was really drawn to. I felt like in a lot of ways, just that was like a character in that kind of media that I was like, I related to. Didn't really get why at the time. And then, you know, I was like. I was, you know, I was wondering if I could be Raven. And my parents were like, no, absolutely not. Like, you're. You're a boy. You can't dress like a girl. And what was funny is, like, I had other friends, other, you know, male, you know, grade school friends that, like, they, like, would dress like. Like a girl character as a joke. Yeah, it's always fun or whatever. But, you know. Yeah, like, it was very, you know, just little things like that over the course of, like, you know, my childhood into my adolescence and, you know, even when I started doing Flummox, you Know, I mean, I was. I took a lot of influence from like the early Alice Cooper group and that sort of thing, that sort of like gender bending androgyny, you know. So like, I would be. It's very theatrical, right? Yeah, exactly. So, like, I would be, you know, I would. I had like a beard, full beard. I had like a six and a half inch long goatee at one point and like big black makeup and wearing this like, dress on stage. And I'm growling and screaming and, you know, hollering and doing all that stuff.
- [13:13]
Monte Mater
Our metal screams are top tier.
- [13:15]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I appreciate that. So are yours, by the way.
- [13:18]
Monte Mater
That's when I stopped. I was like, everyone stop. I need to hear who this is.
- [13:21]
Allison Blake Dellinger
So what?
- [13:22]
Monte Mater
But what role do you think that music played in helping you get to the point where you really did realize, oh, this is why I've felt this way?
- [13:32]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That's an interesting question because, like, I feel like it was. It was a lot of little things because it wasn't like, you know, like, you know, I like to say Black Sabbath radicalized me.
- [13:43]
Monte Mater
Yeah. Because you know you're gonna have somebody radicalize you. It's a pretty good option.
- [13:47]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, you know, it was funny cause like, the first time I heard Black Sabbath, you know, as you were. I was raised in this very strict, tight knit, kind of Christian upbringing like.
- [13:56]
Monte Mater
That only listen to certain kind of music and drums are of the devil.
- [14:00]
Allison Blake Dellinger
DC Talk was my favorite band and still is. Shout out to K Kevin Max and.
- [14:06]
Monte Mater
Yeah, did you ever get into the Toby Mack phase when he went solo too?
- [14:10]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I wasn't super into Toby Mack or Michael Tate stuff, but I was always into the Kevin Max because he went off on a whole. Not to get on this tangent, he deconstructed. Oh, I know. Yeah. He's a pal. I've actually played Black Sabbath music with Kevin Max. What?
- [14:26]
Monte Mater
Yes, I'm going to call him. Excuse me, I need to talk to you. All of the deconstructed people that follow my page would lose their mind if I interviewed one of the members of DC Talk.
- [14:37]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I'm sure, like, Kevin. Kevin is such a brilliant mind and has a lot of things to say, for sure. Especially obviously, coming from that background. My first concert ever was DC Talk at a Billy Graham crusade in the late 90s.
- [14:53]
Monte Mater
Mine was Newsboys, but DC Talk was number two.
- [14:56]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Newsboys. There's a classic.
- [14:58]
Monte Mater
Shine's a banger.
- [14:59]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. But back to the initial question with DC Talk, that was some of the heaviest stuff I'd really heard. Was DC Talk or Switch Foot or Reliant K or something and Third Day, ffh, All that stuff. See, I was around and I remember I was into the comic books when I was 10, 11 years old. And I remember I was with a friend of mine at the time and I got some Iron man comics and they were like, have you heard the song Iron Man? I was like, no. And they put that, you know, they did that thing we used to do and you know, share the earbud and then the ipod and all that. And it changed me for life. Like just hearing something that viscerally heavy. It's still a monster of a song, frankly. And then from there I just like delved into that kind of music. You know, songs like War Pigs and Children of the Grave and stuff like that, like, definitely made me rethink, like, wow. Like what I've been kind of taught this whole time doesn't really make sense with like the reality. Especially like what, you know, these guys are singing about. Because, you know, Black Sabbath, they were a bunch of working class, like super popular. Like, you know, unlike, you know, Zeppelin or Purple, who. A lot of them were session musicians and had played with other bands and stuff. You know, Sabbath, they were. I mean, I think Ozzy Osbourne didn't even own shoes when they did the first record. And so like that kind of really spoke to me from an early age as like, okay, maybe, maybe there's something more to this sort of thing. And that's sort of, you know. And of course, you know, I got into like the Metallicas and the Iron Maidens and that sort of thing from there.
- [16:51]
Monte Mater
And I don't think people that if. Unless they really listen to the ly realize like how politically charged and you know, talking about class and society those bands are because they get caught up in how heavy the music is and whether they like that or not, right? But it's like those are very often controversial in their time, for sure.
- [17:11]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I mean. And like, especially, you know, with Black Sabbath. I remember like a couple years ago or so they Sabbath printed these Black Lives Matter shirts like for their merchant. People got really upset about it. And I was like, what. What band are you?
- [17:25]
Monte Mater
Who have you been listening to this whole time?
- [17:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Like, War Pigs is not right. War Pigs is not about literal battle swines, you guys. It's about. It's about imperialism and you know, like, it's. And I mean, like Geezer Butler even like he went to jail randomly overnight last decade or so because he punched a Nazi out in a bar. Like, and he's like, I feel like.
- [17:50]
Monte Mater
You should go to jail for that. I feel like that should be a free pass thing. Be like, ah, you know what? Slow down next time you drive, you know.
- [17:56]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. And like, that's the. You know, those are the kind. You know, those are the kind of people who sort of started to open my eyes a little bit about just the way the world actually works. Outside that the world is bigger than what my little Christian upbringing in my little Southern Baptist bubble was like. Exactly. So, like, from that point on, I mean, yeah, it wasn't like I listened to Black Sabbath and I was like, I'm a girl. Like, in fact, I was very, like, you know, I was still very, like, trying my best to do this whole masculinity thing as best as I could. And I still like to say that I'm like a trans femme tomboy more than anything because, you know, I can get pretty and put on makeup and do all that stuff as well.
- [18:38]
Monte Mater
But, like, I've seen the corsets. I've seen it.
- [18:40]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, you've seen you. You've seen what's up, you know. But, like, that was like. Another thing about it, too, is, like, I didn't really. It really took a while for me to put two and two together because, like, even the way that I'm attracted to women is different than how men are attracted to women. Like, I mean, well. And this was one of those things that made me kind of like, go, oh, no. But, like, you know, men. I mean, it really. It really does just boil down to homosexuality in the sense where, like, you know, men are attracted to women because women are like their opposite in a lot of ways. They're. They're, you know, softer, and they're in there, you know, they have this feminine, adorable. They're adorable. They're, you know, you can pick them up, that sort of thing, you know. But, like, I mean, I'm obviously talking about physical attributes in this regard.
- [19:33]
Monte Mater
Yeah.
- [19:34]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Whereas, you know, gay men and, you know, gay women, they are typically attracted to what's alike to them and what they kind of see in themselves and that sort of thing. And, like, that's. Ooh. When I looked back at my. My dating record, I was like, ooh. You know, especially. Cause, like, I mean, I was dating a lot of girls that. We were very much alike in a lot of ways. I mean, there was this one girl I dated for, like, three or four years, and, like, you know, we'd broken up, like, well before I transitioned, and she was always just like. Apparently, I found out later that she had an inside joke with my best friend Drew, who I started Flummox with. Whenever they'd be, like, alone, they would be like, okay, so. So Blake's a girl, right? Blake being my middle name and the name that I went through with for the first 24 years of my life. Roughly. Not a dead name, but, yeah, like, it was just certain things, like.
- [20:45]
Monte Mater
Like, other people were picking up.
- [20:47]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Other people were picking up on it. I've always just sort of had this feminine air, whether I wanted to have it or not. And I definitely started, like, once I started kind of doing the more, like, androgynous sort of look, especially for Flummox and that sort of thing. Like, I was. I. It was almost like I felt more. Not just myself, but, like, I felt more powerful in this sort of, like, feminine setting. And I always, like, was. It just came more naturally to me than, like, trying to figure out, okay, how do I. Man, how do I do this? Cause, like, I shouldn't have to think about it.
- [21:31]
Monte Mater
Like, I shouldn't have to, like, try to figure out how to.
- [21:34]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right. Like, it really. When I started HRT and estrogen and all of that, like, it's like. It's like I slipped into a glove, you know, it was like my brain worked the way I had always wanted it to because it's not even just about, again, the physical attributes. It's like, you know, estrogen changes your mind. You know, it's in, like, the way you think about things and the way you process things. And, like, that was something that was always at odds with, I guess, the sex hormones that I was just already, you know, making myself. So that was something that, like, you know, I really. That really kind of helped seal the deal for me. It was like, I, you know, I was in this phase of, like, going online, okay, So I used to work at Walmart, and I was. I was one of those people that worked on those Zambonis that scrubbed the floors. I did all the floors. And, you know, so I'd be there like, 11 o' clock at night to, like, 8 in the morning, just scrubbing floors. And the whole time, you know, I'm just, like, scrolling on my phone, and I would be scrolling on my phone, looking through, like, transition timelines, like, oh, wow, they used to look like this, and now they look like that. And reading all of these, like, psycho, like, psychologists kind of essays and that sort of thing about, like, trans people. And at this point, I still hadn't figured it out, and here I am still doing this and then.
- [23:06]
Monte Mater
Yeah, like, what was the moment? Like, when did, when do you recognize.
- [23:10]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That you were like, oh, oh no.
- [23:12]
Monte Mater
And then you like start moving towards it. When did it finally lock in?
- [23:15]
Allison Blake Dellinger
So I was at Walmart.
- [23:18]
Monte Mater
All good things to happen at Walmart. There's gonna be a conspiracy theory born out of this that Walmart makes you trans.
- [23:23]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, it's true. It does. True.
- [23:26]
Monte Mater
It does.
- [23:26]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Absolutely does. So I was looking through one of these essays and it was basically what I was, you know, saying to you. The way that like homosexual attraction is just different than heterosexual attraction and like trans, most like trans femme people are attracted, like if they're attracted to women are attracted to, you know, what they are like to, you know, the same same sex attraction basically in the way, you know. And that was something like, you know, reading that particular thing, like, it was like again, the dominoes came down and I was like, oh. And I remember I was in an aisle and I shut down the machine and I just like walked into the, like this pharmacy. You know, they have like the little benches and stuff that you can sit on at Walmart. I just sat there on a bench in the pharmacy aisle for like 30 minutes, just like, you know, replaying my whole life basically. And being like.
- [24:34]
Monte Mater
This all makes so much more sense.
- [24:35]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. And it was, and I was like, great. And then I remember I got off work at like 8 in the morning and I rolled over to my, my girlfriend's house at the time and basically, yeah, just I was like, hey, I think I'm trans.
- [24:52]
Monte Mater
Oh, wow, you just came right out with it. You like straight up that.
- [24:55]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Straight up, straight up. Because like, I was already kind of like, especially at that point, I'd already been doing Flummox. I was already kind of playing with the gender stuff a little bit, but more like, oh, yeah, guys can dress a feminine.
- [25:07]
Monte Mater
Yeah, guys can wear a skirt.
- [25:08]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, it was more like that than it was like, oh, I'm. I'm just a girl. That's what's going on here. Because, yeah, I never really related to gay men. That was like one of the things that really like kind of like it was kind of hard to bridge that gap a little bit for me as far as my own queerness goes. Because like, I was like. But you know, because like, I like to say, you know, you know, I loved Rob Halford, I love Freddie Mercury, you know, but that wasn't the kind of representation that was there for me. If anything, it was Alice Cooper. Even though don't even get me started with some of his most recent ideas. But, you know, when I saw this, you know, gangly, skinny creature in a full face of makeup, you know, crawling on the stage and, you know, murdering babies, and, you know, I was like, that's me, that's me.
- [26:05]
Monte Mater
You know, I love how Alice Cooper's the one.
- [26:08]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Alice Cooper cracked my egg. It's your fault, Vince. Take that to the, to the church with you.
- [26:18]
Monte Mater
And when you made this discovery and this admission to your then girlfriend, like, where were you at with your own deconstruction? Because you grew up in the same world I did.
- [26:26]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Sure.
- [26:26]
Monte Mater
Where this was like the ultimate taboo.
- [26:29]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes.
- [26:29]
Monte Mater
So where were you at with your deconstruction? And also like, what feelings did you have about it when it first dropped in?
- [26:37]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, I was already deconstructed religiously at that point. I had gotten out of the church when I was like 16 or 17, and by this point I was 24 when I. When I started transitioning. And you know, so like, it was something like. And even still, like, there was a lot of biases like that I had after I deconstructed regarding, you know, gender stuff and just queerness in general.
- [27:07]
Monte Mater
It's built into us. Cause they program it from the time we're this high.
- [27:10]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [27:11]
Monte Mater
And you don't even realize some of the things you're saying until someone calls you out on it. Because I would say certain things, even when I was totally deconstructed, people would be like, hey, that's kind of.
- [27:19]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yep.
- [27:20]
Monte Mater
Could you not. And I didn't. And I was like, oh, I didn't even think of that. You know.
- [27:24]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, we take a lot of purity culture. I think, like, that's one thing that I was having this conversation with somebody recently that I feel like a lot of leftists in particular, they're usually brought up in the faith a little bit. And when they get out of it, they still hold onto these elements of holier than thou purity kind of way of thinking. And where the void of religion once was. It's more like, oh, well, I'm more leftist than you in this way.
- [27:58]
Monte Mater
Or someone else needs to be perfect. And if you don't do every single thing perfect deserve to be called out versus like having a conversation. And I have noticed that that's actually been transitioning from being someone who was a radical Republican.
- [28:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [28:13]
Monte Mater
To someone who is now progressive. One of my biggest complaints with left progressive Democrat is this, is that it does feel because I grew up in such strict religion, it feels the same way. In a ways. It's this Very like, well, I'm not doing that.
- [28:28]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [28:29]
Monte Mater
And like, instead of meeting people where they are, and it could be anything, it could be about climate change, it could be about a specific political topic. But, like, oh, you do? I'm like, what is wrong with you? And then they won't team up together because they don't agree on every single thing.
- [28:44]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [28:44]
Monte Mater
And I'm like, that's crazy. That's actually crazy.
- [28:46]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It really. Yeah, because unfortunately, like, there's, you know, a lot of conservatives and Republicans, while they do disagree on, like, a fair amount of things, they're. They hold the line, they are united on.
- [28:59]
Monte Mater
They're.
- [29:00]
Allison Blake Dellinger
They're a lot more united in a lot of ways and.
- [29:02]
Monte Mater
Well, to the point where they'll shield criminals.
- [29:04]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Exactly.
- [29:05]
Monte Mater
Like, they will not break the line.
- [29:07]
Allison Blake Dellinger
No, not at all.
- [29:07]
Monte Mater
And that's why they win.
- [29:08]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That's. Yep, exactly. And like, that's one of the things with, you know, that I've noticed, especially with, like, leftist culture, is this sense of, you know, the purity thing is very ingrained. Like, you know, if somebody especially. It doesn't allow for character growth in a lot of ways. Like, you know, we talk about how, you know, somebody who used to be in the faith or used to just have shitty views of some kind in general tweeted something 15 years ago that it does not, like, reflect who they are even 10 years ago or whatever. And like. But that's still. But, you know, since even though all of that growth has happened in that interim and everything, it's like, thrown out the window because something stupid they said as a teenager. Because believe me, I've said and done a lot of stupid things that, I.
- [29:56]
Monte Mater
Mean, like, if people dug far enough back on social media, they. Yeah, and that's part of the reason that I've always been so open about, hey, I used to be a fundamentalist, hateful piece of garbage.
- [30:08]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [30:09]
Monte Mater
But also a testament to if anybody. If, like, if I can change, anybody can, because I had all that deep programming and all that deep animosity and, like, no exceptions. And this is what the word of God means because my pastor said so and agreed. And I do. I think it's one thing to confront someone because there's a pattern. Like, they have continued in this behavior or they've continued to vote this way, or they've continued to associate with this kind of people.
- [30:34]
Allison Blake Dellinger
For sure.
- [30:35]
Monte Mater
It's totally a different thing to, like, I mean, I, I didn't said some of the dumbest shit when I was like, 15, 16, that was like, My real radical moment for me is when I. Right when I graduated high school and right when I went to Liberty University, like, I was such. And I thought I was doing the right thing.
- [30:54]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [30:54]
Monte Mater
And I was such a jerk. I was such a dick.
- [30:58]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And I get it.
- [30:59]
Monte Mater
If someone like, you know, wanted to end all I'm doing now because of that. That's crazy. Like, that's crazy.
- [31:05]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It really. I mean. Cause, like. Yeah. Cause I 100% agree with that. Because, like, so much of. I mean, I used to teach vacation Bible school.
- [31:12]
Monte Mater
Oh, me too.
- [31:13]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I mean, did you awana.
- [31:15]
Monte Mater
You guys have a. Wanna hear?
- [31:17]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I'm not. I'm not. I don't think I'm familiar.
- [31:19]
Monte Mater
Yeah, that might be a Midwestern thing, but it's like. It's like vbs, but it's like Biblical Challenge for the kids.
- [31:24]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Gotcha. Yeah, we just had, like. We probably had, like, a lot of the same curriculum and that sort of thing. Like, you know, all of the. I still have some of those damn songs stuck in my head, and I haven't heard any of them in, like.
- [31:34]
Monte Mater
My one year in public school, my dad sat me down for a week to prep me on how to fight the teacher about evolution.
- [31:40]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yep. Yep.
- [31:42]
Monte Mater
Did you ever watch the Ken Ham answers in Genesis thing? Did they put you through that?
- [31:46]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, so I went to private Christian school. And, you know, like, it was a school that's, you know, here. It's local and, like, some. It was very unorthodox, even for private Christian schools. I would say, like, I think it was kindergarten through 12th grade. And I think total, there was like 400 kids at one, you know, all. All around. And at most, at least when I first started going there. And yeah, we. We read a lot of the, like, the Case for the Creator. And I remember, like, in eighth grade, we had to write our, like, science paper. Our big science paper was how to prove the earth was only 6,000 years old. And that the tr. You know, there was also, like. I was taught that the Trail of Tears was actually a good thing because it brought the natives closer to Jesus.
- [32:42]
Monte Mater
Yep.
- [32:43]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Every time I tell somebody that, they're like. Yeah, every time I tell somebody that, they're like, what the fuck? And I'm like, yeah, that's what I. That's what I was brought up with. I mean, like, in fifth grade. I was in fifth grade when the Passion of the Christ dropped and they sat us down in the fifth grade and made us watch. It wasn't even, like, the whole movie. It was like, specifically the gory beating parts.
- [33:09]
Monte Mater
And like, see what he did for you? Literally, like, my dad took me to the theaters and I was sobbing and hysterical because it was just too much. Yeah, I was not old enough for that.
- [33:17]
Allison Blake Dellinger
No, I was not old enough for that. Yeah. Like, I mean, I'm a huge horror movie buff and I still think Passion the Christ is up there with like, as far as like goriest movies I've seen. And in most visceral and you know. Yeah, like a room full of 10 and 11 year olds, you're, you know, football coach screaming at us. You're. You did this to Jesus while, you know, he's having like chunks of flesh ripped off of him and we're all hysterical, you know. And he also taught sex ed, which.
- [33:47]
Monte Mater
Oh, God.
- [33:48]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That I somehow knew more about gay sex from. From the sex education that I got at Lancaster Christian Academy than I did about straight sex. Like, it was the crate. Because, like, it was always. It wasn't about like how to have safe sex or how to just have sex in general or what happens. Yeah. I swear. I swear to everything I believe in. And I have friends to this day that I was in this class with that one of the, One of the days that we had sex, had the football coach came in. He was the one who taught it. He also taught history and Bible class and a bunch of other.
- [34:26]
Monte Mater
Exactly. Like the Christian schools I went to.
- [34:28]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, I mean, know, no one's actually qualified. He comes in and the first thing he swe. He says, I swear was, do y' all know what an anus is? Poop comes out of there. Penises aren't supposed to go in there. And like, I would. I mean, I'm like in sixth grade and I'm just like, what the. What the hell are you talking about? And like. And I mean, like, that was. Yeah, like that was. I mean, I was never taught about like, condoms or, you know, I'm surprised.
- [35:06]
Monte Mater
They had a sex ed at all.
- [35:07]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It was basically like, don't have sex until you're married. Also, if you're gay, you're. You're.
- [35:12]
Monte Mater
You're going to.
- [35:13]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. Like, I remember actually I cheekily asked one time. I was like. Because I was. I was a little. I was a little rascal back then. Either way, I was like, so what about bisexuality? Is that like half an abomination or. And. And they, they didn't like that.
- [35:30]
Monte Mater
They weren't a fan.
- [35:30]
Allison Blake Dellinger
They weren't a fan.
- [35:31]
Monte Mater
Oh, that's crazy because I went. So I also went to A. My elementary school was a Christian school, K through 12, same building. It was founded by my grandfather.
- [35:40]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [35:41]
Monte Mater
And it was called Heritage Christian School after that. One particular foundation.
- [35:46]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yup.
- [35:47]
Monte Mater
And their stuff was required reading both in school and at home. And then I went to a private Christian boarding school. But like, we didn't have any kind of sex ed at all. None. Like, we would get, you know, you would do break off groups at Christian Bible camp where they would tell the women that you need to stay pure or you're a used chewed piece of gum for your husband. But they would not. Like, I have, I have several friends who got married, waited until they were married, which is fine if you want to do that, like, go ahead. But like want to do it, not be shamed into doing it. And their wedding night ends up being extremely traumatic because they have no idea what's happening.
- [36:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [36:27]
Monte Mater
No clue.
- [36:28]
Allison Blake Dellinger
They don't know how to do anything. Like. Yeah, yeah.
- [36:31]
Monte Mater
And then I had other friends who later on in marriages and outside of marriages, like ended up with STDs and STIs because they didn't know how to practice safe sex or they didn't know how to recognize symptoms when their partner was stepping out on them. Like, it's so like my thing is people are gonna have sex at some point.
- [36:48]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [36:49]
Monte Mater
Why don't you just. You can by all means encourage abstinence or mention abstinence or whatever, but teach them. Because it's gonna happen. Right? It's going to happen at some point.
- [36:58]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Absolutely.
- [36:59]
Monte Mater
It's crazy. So when you decide, okay, you're like, that drops in. You're like, okay, I'm a girl. You tell your girlfriend. What about, how did this work with your family? With Qanon Mom?
- [37:14]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, okay, so, yeah, first of all, yeah. My girlfriend at the time, who's still one of my best friends.
- [37:21]
Monte Mater
Oh, that's awesome.
- [37:23]
Allison Blake Dellinger
She was super cool with it. In fact, you know, they were like, okay, we can work with that. It's very much like. Sounds great. Like sweet. I remember like, we even went like the first time I ever went out, like in public outside of like a performance and like, like full on femme, trying, you know, trying to pass as, as femme as a girl, et cetera. We went on a little date to the zoo and we wore, and we both wore dresses and very, it was very, very cute. And I, and I, and I. Oh, I have so much love for, for Parker on. That's her name. Parker. Parker Lampley.
- [38:05]
Monte Mater
How did it feel that first time you got to go out Dressed that way.
- [38:10]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Terrifying. Especially because, I mean, obviously I just didn't know what I was doing still. It was, you know, like, I like when they say it's second, like second puberty. It's like that in all regards. You have the awkward phase. You like, especially when you are introducing like estrogen hormones and that sort of thing. It's like I was like in a 25 year old adult body with like the brain of like a 14 year old girl at times. It was messed up sometimes. And you know, and you have to reckon with that because like there's like the adult part of you that's like, okay, we've done this sort of thing before. And then there's like the 14 year old teenager that's like, you know, figuring this out. Yeah. And you know, so it's very, it's very much like just getting used to that. You know, I've been on hormones now for about seven years. So like, I think I've mostly gotten through puberty again at this point. But yeah, like most of my inner friend circle and everything, they were, you know, most of them, I should say, were pretty cool about it. Like my band was really cool about it. I mean, a couple of the guys that were in my band back then are still in my band, you know, and I had to have that conversation of, so I'm transitioning, you know. And they were like, how soon did.
- [39:29]
Monte Mater
You start the transition after you realized?
- [39:31]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Once I figured, I guess I figured it out and like sometime in the spring of 2018. And I, after I, you know, I had to do the whole like get a, you know, get a couple notes from the psych. I had to do a psych eval, which was like, the best way I could put it is like, imagine doing your sats only all of the like bubble sheet and everything except all the questions are about you and there's. And there. And some of them are worded slightly different to see if you'll answer differently. And it's about three hours long. Wow.
- [40:03]
Monte Mater
Okay, so this is great because I don't know anything about this process and there's a lot of propaganda around. You know, they're doing sex changes to kids in middle school and you can't.
- [40:13]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Even do sex changes to kids, period.
- [40:15]
Monte Mater
Yeah, exactly. Like it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. The only gender affirming surgery that I've ever been able to find was for teen young men who have excess breast tissue. They will allow that to be removed. So what. But like, let's give people Fact over fiction. What is the process to be able to even start hormone therapy?
- [40:36]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, it varies because. Okay, like, at the time when I started in here in Tennessee, or at least there was, like, only one clinic who did what's called informed consent.
- [40:48]
Monte Mater
Okay.
- [40:49]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Which is basically, you go to a doctor and you say, hey, I'm experiencing gender dysphoria. I would like to try hormones. And they say, okay, and they test your. You know, your blood. Like, they have to see, you know, if you're healthy enough for it, because, like, it can cause, like, blood clots and that sort of thing. With some people, it's very iffy. Like, for instance, if you're diabetic, that kind of thing, and then they'll write you a script. But that was not really the case for. For me at that time period. We didn't get, like, another clinic or two with informed consent models until literally, like, couple months or more after I'd already started. So I had to do. And this is basically what it's been for the most part, like, up until probably, like, Covid. I would say, like, 2020. A lot of places you would basically have to. You have to be seeing a therapist. You have to get two letters from a licensed therapist or a psychiatrist, et cetera. Someone in mental health diagnosing you, saying that you're diagnosing you with gender dysphoria, saying that you're stable enough of mind to make these kind of decisions. You have to have that. I have a very interesting story about that that I'm gonna circle back to. Circle back to.
- [42:11]
Monte Mater
We'll put a pin in it, but.
- [42:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, put a pin in that. So, you know, like, you have to do that. And again, there's, like, a psych eval. Like I said, the SATs basically tease of me psychologically. And then once you get in, like, that was. The other thing is, at the time I was. I had to go to a gynecologist to get my hormone levels tested and an endocrinologist, and I had to do all of that. And then I think I got my script by. It was September. It was September 8th is when I started. September 8th, 2018. So my second birthday. And so I would say from the time I figured out, we'll just say maybe of that year, it took, like, the entire summer into September to kind of get all of that together in order for me to start on hrt. So, you know, a few months.
- [43:06]
Monte Mater
A few months as an adult.
- [43:07]
Allison Blake Dellinger
As an adult, as, like, Yeah, I was, like, just shy of 25 when I started because. Yeah, there was. I. Now I wish I had been able to start when I was a teenager.
- [43:19]
Monte Mater
Right.
- [43:19]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I wish. And you probably.
- [43:21]
Monte Mater
What difference would that make for you? Well, I mean, besides developmentally. But what are you thinking when you say it that way?
- [43:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, I mean, that's the thing is like, I was, When I was a teenager, I was terrified of like, some of the changes my body was going through. You know, like, I, I was just. And I didn't even know why exactly, because again, like, having the. I didn't really have the tools or the information around gender, you know, being trans because, I mean, the most representation for trans people I probably had was like, I don't know, Mrs. Doubtfire.
- [44:06]
Monte Mater
Which is really like elderly drag.
- [44:08]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I, I low key. It's my, my Mrs. Doubtfire still might be my problematic fave. All right. But, you know, like, I really didn't have, like. I mean, in all seriousness, I think, like, the only trans people I was probably aware of was like, you know, talk show, Jerry Springer, kind of content. Right.
- [44:30]
Monte Mater
I remember my dad mentioning cross dressers once in my whole life. I had no vocabulary. If I had been in the same situation, I would have had no way to tell people what I was feeling. I didn't know what gender dysphoria was. I didn't know that, like, when they talked about trans people or cross dressing, they literally made it sound like costume.
- [44:50]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [44:51]
Monte Mater
I didn't realize that this is a medical transition.
- [44:55]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I considered myself like a cross dresser at one point when I was younger. Cause I was like. Cause I mean, I. Obviously when I was a teenager, one of my big secret was I had a hidden stash of I had a skirt. And then my parents had gotten divorced and my mom was living at her mother's house. And, you know, like, she had had like three sisters too. So, like, I would have to stay in one of their old rooms and I would go through their closet and that sort of thing. And then I would stare in the mirror wearing one of their dresses, being like, why do I like this? Why am I doing this? Because it wasn't really like a sexual thing or anything. It was just like, she's like, I.
- [45:33]
Monte Mater
Want to wear this.
- [45:34]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. You know, it was very much like that. And I couldn't really put it together. But, you know, like, for all intents purposes at the time, I was like, I guess I'm a cross dresser, you know, but it's not what it was. So, like. Yeah, that was especially, you know, like, like as, you know, to kind of Circle back to, like, how my family and everything reacted. So my dad. My dad and I. So I'll go ahead and preface this by saying that we're pretty cool now. He was. You know, he's pretty much down with me being his daughter and that sort of thing. Like, it's very, like, it's a very nice relationship that me and my dad have. It's still a little, like. I would say it's distant, but not, like, certainly not estranged. And, like, I mean, he's gonna be at my show in, like, a week whenever we go through Atlanta. He lives in Georgia now, and. But at the time, of course. Yeah. I mean, my dad is also, you know, born and raised in a sundowntown in Alabama. And, you know, and I mean, like, I'll put it this way. All of the men in my family on my dad's side, up until me, was named Robert Lee. Wow.
- [46:55]
Monte Mater
So original.
- [46:56]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. My dad was the one who was like, I'm not doing that to my kid. Like, I'm not. No. And so, you know, so thanks, dad, for. For giving me a androgynous middle name to go by, because I went by Blake for the first 24 years of my life. And that's, you know, that's still my name. It's still it. You know, it works. Yeah, but he definitely had. He took. You know, he definitely didn't get it. He definitely. I'm sure, you know, he knew I was queer to some degree. I had already kind of told him at one point I was bi, and he was just like, whoa. You know, he. You know, I mean, I love my dad, but he's not, like, super with it as far as any of that stuff goes, which, I mean, I wouldn't expect him to be because, you know, he's very.
- [47:49]
Monte Mater
How he was raised.
- [47:49]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, exactly. I mean, and not to mention all the trauma and everything in his own life and that had gone down. So, like, it took him a while, for sure. We actually. We didn't speak for a little while. There were some words that were said that weren't super great. And eventually we reconnected, and things are pretty good with my dad and most of that side of my family, you know, Like, I'm still pretty close with my grandmother and that sort of thing, but. Nah. My mom's side of the family, on the other hand, where. That's where a lot of, like, the Christian fundamentalist stuff came from. Like, she was, like, of that early 80s generation, that original satanic panic.
- [48:29]
Monte Mater
The OG satanic panic, you know, very.
- [48:32]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Much in that line. Right.
- [48:33]
Monte Mater
It was QAnon before. QAnon was.
- [48:35]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yup. Like in. I mean, because like when I first got, you know, this goes. My mom has been at odds with my identity in general. Well before I transitioned, like when I first started getting into music, you know, and pretty much any. I mean, I even remember, like, obviously. Okay. You're a big Lord of the Rings fan, as am I. And I think one of the only reasons I was allowed to be into Lord of the Rings is because JRR Tolkien was a Christian and it was very well documented.
- [49:08]
Monte Mater
That's the loophole they give themselves.
- [49:09]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Exactly.
- [49:10]
Monte Mater
That's why Harry Potter's bad. But Lord of the Rings isn't being.
- [49:13]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Both have wizards. Yes. And you know, Harry Potter is problematic in other ways. Yes.
- [49:17]
Monte Mater
Well, that came down the road. That came down the road. Not initially.
- [49:19]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Well, you know, I mean, Harry Potter Potter was a trust fund kid who married his high school sweetheart and became a cop. Frodo Baggins came back from.
- [49:29]
Monte Mater
Damn.
- [49:29]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Frodo Baggins came back.
- [49:31]
Monte Mater
Episode over. I've never thought of it that way. But you're right.
- [49:35]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Frodo Baggins came back from the Shire, became the. Or came back to the Shire, rather became the mayor and actually defunded the police. The Shire. The sheriffs in the. In the Shire. So, I mean, you know, I'm just saying. JRR Tolkien described himself as an anarchist, actually.
- [49:50]
Monte Mater
So.
- [49:51]
Allison Blake Dellinger
So, you know, there's some.
- [49:52]
Monte Mater
There was, there was some sense. Well, he, he deconstructed a lot in his own way. After the First World War.
- [49:59]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [49:59]
Monte Mater
Cause him and CS Lewis were very good friends, but they had very different responses to religion.
- [50:04]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes.
- [50:04]
Monte Mater
After being part of the Great War and Tolkien really backed away from it and really was just had a lot of questions about how could a God let this happen. And CS Lewis leaned a lot further in Jesus Lion.
- [50:17]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes. Which obviously a lot of that definitely played into the Lord of the Rings. I mean, and, and I mean, I've heard, I. I've read before that even like, you know, when the Catholic Church swapped from doing like their, Their recite, their recited stuff and their, Their hymns and stuff in Latin and swapped to English, that JR Tolkien would still do it back in Latin, you know, like, you know, like that he was. But I mean, I. Feisty. Yeah. Well, in J.R.R. tolkien, let's be real, He. He was probably on the spectrum. You don't, you don't do what he.
- [50:53]
Monte Mater
Did and like create languages and multiple worlds for fun. Just for shits and giggles. Just for funsies.
- [50:59]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. So, like, all of that to say. Yeah. Like, even when I was into that kind of, you know, like when I was growing up and I got into Lord of the Rings, you know, my. My mom was like. My mom would use Jesus and religion to kind of be, like. To kind of bolster her own opinion of things. It was. It was less about, like, what Jesus would have actually thought about something and.
- [51:18]
Monte Mater
More, like what she wanted you to be.
- [51:20]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Exactly.
- [51:21]
Monte Mater
So what was it that she wanted you to be?
- [51:24]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Not this.
- [51:25]
Monte Mater
Okay. Whatever this is. No, thank you.
- [51:28]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Whatever this is. But I. I was definitely. I definitely felt like I was probably gonna be, like, some level of, like, not a minister maybe, but like, certainly, like, in the church ministry of some form. Yes. I mean, like, that was definitely what was being pushed a bit. Hewitt actually made a post on Instagram about the whole, like, purity ring stuff.
- [51:57]
Monte Mater
Oh, the purity rings.
- [51:59]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And, you know, it was so strange because, like, obviously most boys raised in that religion don't get a version of that. They basically just, you know. You know, I don't know. Like, it really varies, but, like, my mom was very pro. Purity ring. And did your mom give you a purity ring? Yes. I have the best story with it, too, because my mind is blown. Yeah. So it was actually. I had actually had just more or less deconstructed, like, I mean, freshly. And because I was a teenager, I was, like, 16 or 17, and my parents had divorced like, a year or so before, and I was spending Christmas. Fucking Christmas with my. With my mom's side of the family and, you know, unwrapping gifts that morning. And my mom not only gifted me a purity ring, but it had, like, the entire Lord's Prayer inscribed on the. On the band. On the outer band, and then on the inner band, it said, like, something like, love you forever, Mom. And I had lost my virginity two months before.
- [53:15]
Monte Mater
Mom, you were late. If I had this ring two months ago.
- [53:17]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Oh, like, it was. I wish. I wish I could have seen the look on my face because, like, I pulled this thing out and I was just, like, speechless. And my mom went into this whole spiel of, I just. I just want you to save yourself for marriage, and I don't want a.
- [53:33]
Monte Mater
Little boy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- [53:35]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And I'm just like. It's like, oh, shit.
- [53:39]
Monte Mater
So again, for those of you that are listening who did not grow up in the church, and you're like, what is this purity ring thing? So fundamentalists are very big on purity culture, which is. You wait until you're Married. You have sex with one person your whole life, which, of course, doesn't cause divorces later on. But it's typically very focused at young women. There's a lot of dialogue around. You know, you'll be used up for your husband. It's what you're worth. Your body's for your husband. It's very creepy, very groomy.
- [54:04]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It's your dad's body until it's your husband.
- [54:06]
Monte Mater
Yes. So you. They will say, this is verbatim. You belong to your father until you belong to your husband 100%. So what they will do is the. And it depends. The age varies, but typically it's. The dad will give purity rings or purity jewelry to his daughter in exchange for her commitment to wait to have sex until he gives her away in marriage. I got a earring and necklace set when I turned 13, was mine. But I had to sign a contract with my father that I was gonna wait until he gave me away. And so that's the purity ring culture. You can find videos on Instagram and YouTube, and it is as grotesque and cringy as you imagine. But I have never heard of it going the other way around. Because in the churches I grew up with, they never even talked to boys about purity. It was just the women. Like, if a man looks at you lustfully, it's your fault. If something happens to you sexually, it's your fault.
- [54:59]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes.
- [54:59]
Monte Mater
If you have sex, your fault. Like, never addressed men ever. I heard the first sermon ever preached about male responsibility for lust five weeks ago, and someone shared a clip of it, and I was like, hold up. I'm gonna look up the. What? I look up the sermon. It's Darius.
- [55:18]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Really?
- [55:18]
Monte Mater
Darius Daniels, I think is his last name change. Church in Atlanta. I'll tag them. This man went all the way off.
- [55:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Oh, I'd love to see that.
- [55:28]
Monte Mater
The sermon was about. He said. He called it the three isms in the church, and it's racism, sexism, and classism. And just went at it. And with sexism. I have never heard a preacher talk about that. He made the statement of, we value men's or not men. We value women's labor, but not their opinion.
- [55:49]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes.
- [55:49]
Monte Mater
And he went. And he also went off on, like, listen, your lust is your problem. Gouge your own eye out. And I was like. I was, like, saying hallelujah and stuff. And I was like, I haven't been to a church in six years. What's going on? But up until that point and, like, being in church every Sunday and most Wednesdays in Bible school and Bible camp until I was 25. Because I was. I didn't start deconstructing until I was 25.
- [56:11]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Really.
- [56:12]
Monte Mater
Like, I started deconstructing from Republicanism at 23 and then Christianity at 25. Once the political side fell, the religious intermingling fell for sure. So. Yeah. So that's the background on the purity stuff.
- [56:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes.
- [56:28]
Monte Mater
So do you have a relationship with your mom?
- [56:31]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, well, first of all, I still have the purity ring.
- [56:35]
Monte Mater
Just a gift from mom.
- [56:37]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Best part of that. The other best part of that story is that it didn't fit. And she was like. And I was like, oh. I was like, I'll just get it resized. And I just put it in a drawer and, you know. But I have a strange relationship with my mom. I mean, we're kind of talking again now because I went to the hospital about a month ago, and I wanted her to. I didn't want someone else in my family who snoops and stuff to find, you know, to find that out and tell her. And then I hear from her at 2 in the morning, you know, going off on, you know, why didn't you tell me? And that sort of thing. So I just went ahead and just ripped the band aid off, and we've talked a little bit ever since, but I try to keep it, you know, that's the thing. It's like you said earlier, like, you know, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was. You know, I thought I was doing what was good, and I 100% relate to that. Like, I mean, I was baptizing kids in my kiddie pool when I was, like, 6 years old, that kind of thing. Like, I was big John the Baptist fan, and. And, oh, yeah, like, the whole album I just put out is all about that shit. But I'll put a pin in that as well. So, like, with my mom, I think it's very much the same thing. Like, she thinks I'm. I mean, she thinks I'm possessed by demons. Like, she doesn't think that, like, this whole transgender thing is real. There were no signs, you know, that sort of thing. And, you know, like, she is certainly of the opinion that she knows me better than I know myself and that sort of thing. And that's where a lot of, like, you know, I've said something before where it's like, I try to meet in the middle, but, you know, like, with my mom and stuff, but then, like, she ends up taking a step or two back once I do, and it's Very, you know, especially, you know, because as I mentioned earlier, I've sort of tried to start reclaiming a little bit of this. This Christianity sort of, you know, or at least the, The. The teachings of Jesus specifically, because, like, I've always been interested in biblical historicity and, you know, the theology and that sort of thing. I love the Gnostic gospels and that sort of thing. Like, I love digging.
- [58:54]
Monte Mater
It's very interesting.
- [58:55]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It's so interesting.
- [58:56]
Monte Mater
The history of it is so interesting.
- [58:58]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Especially, like, when you really, you know, dig deep and find out, okay, what actually potentially happened and that sort of thing, you know, like when I figured out Moses might not be real, I was like, oh, yeah, that was a.
- [59:10]
Monte Mater
Big moment for me when I fully realized that Genesis was fiction. Like, it's a fiction book. Lost. It was out of. I was out of my mind. I'm like, wait, what?
- [59:19]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Part of the reason I deconstructed, I think, was figuring out, wait, Noah's ark didn't actually happen.
- [59:25]
Monte Mater
Like, that's not real.
- [59:26]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Like, well, and you can do that. You can figure that out with basic math. Because, I mean, you know, unfortunately for the Bible, one of the few things that they kind of give, like the measurements and stuff for, for the ark and like, you can't fit that many animals and their diet and the people and their diet, etc. For, you know, certainly not 40 days and 40 nights and not the 150ish days they were on that boat, supposedly. So, like, you know, and of course.
- [59:52]
Monte Mater
There were some cracks in the, in the dialogue. Yeah.
- [59:55]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And then. And then the Epic of Gilgamesh just. But. And you know, it's very. Just things like that, you know. And of course, a lot of that is just, oh, you just have to have faith that Jesus don't believe your.
- [60:08]
Monte Mater
Eyes and ears, don't believe your eyes and ears don't believe your brain. That's your pride. That's your pride rejecting God.
- [60:13]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And that's one thing. Like, you know, so, okay, you know, I'm gonna get into the thing that I'm. I'm plugging a little bit.
- [60:21]
Monte Mater
Oh, we're gonna plug all that. I want. I want to plug. She's going on tour tomorrow.
- [60:25]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Tomorrow.
- [60:26]
Monte Mater
So we're plugging the music in the tour.
- [60:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, well, you know, but specifically actually has a lot to do with what we' talking about because obviously I wrote a lot about on this album, my own deconstruction and that sort of thing.
- [60:39]
Monte Mater
And what's the album name again?
- [60:40]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Southern Progress. There it is. We actually. It'll come out later this year, but we were gonna add a bonus track. We covered I Wish we'd all been ready.
- [60:49]
Monte Mater
Ooh.
- [60:50]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And we made it a dirge. It's like six minutes long. I love that. Yeah. I showed it to Kevin Max, actually, and I was like, you wanna do.
- [60:59]
Monte Mater
It with us maybe?
- [61:00]
Allison Blake Dellinger
He's like, like, I don't need to touch that song again, like, no, thank you. He's like, you did a great job with it. But also, I never want to sing that song. And I'm like, okay, that makes sense. But yeah. Anyway, as has been mentioned, we're a very theatrical band. We have a very elaborate stage show. Like for instance, we have this, you know, for example, we have a song about possums that I dress up as an opossum, full possum, mask, tail, claws, et cetera. I throw myself into trash cans off the stage. Really crazy shit. Just to give you a general idea of the level, theatrics, vibes. Yes, exactly. And for this we just did our unreleased show and I was like, I want to do a church service. I want to do a worship service. And so I started putting it together and initially I was gonna go like, full on, like fire and brimstone. You're all sinners, you're going to hell. And here's why. And like it was only like maybe a week or two before the show. I said, I don't know if this is the direction I want to go specifically with the sermon, because our fan base are majority 15 to 23 year old queer kids. And if they've been raised in that.
- [62:22]
Monte Mater
They'Ve already heard that, they've heard it.
- [62:24]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Over and over and they probably still hearing it to some degree. So. And you know, I, as I had said earlier, I'd really like started to kind of reckon with what I wanted to take out of the religion I was raised in and that sort of thing. And so I rewrote the whole sermon that I was going to do and made it fit in more with what Jesus actually said about the marginalized, what Jesus actually said about the rich man and so forth and applied that and it was like a full on. It was one of the most powerful shows I've ever done. As a result, I had people, there were people crying in the audience in the same show that there was a wall of death. It was, it was high quality entertainment. Insane. I mean, I came out very, we all were very dressed, very like very Pastor Preacher coded, kinda, you know, like. And then you know, just kind of stripped it off as it. As the show went on and we had. And I would have, like, a little sermon and lead the audience in prayer and that sort of thing. Like, in between, like, these, like, you know, songs about. Well, specifically the last song, Coyote Gospel, is about my own deconstruction. It starts off, like, with the sort of fire and brimstone kind of pastor going off about.
- [63:55]
Monte Mater
Oh, that's the clip you sent me.
- [63:56]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes. Yeah, that's Jason Marsden, by the way, the voice actor who's. He's Max Goof in a Goofy Movie and Thackeray Binks and Hocus Pocus and he's in Spirited Way, a bunch of others. He's a pal, and he did that for us and he knocked out of the Park. I have some great behind the scenes in that. But anyway, I wanted to kind of, like, make a song that was just as hectic and chaotic as what my deconstruction really was. I mean, like, you know, without going into super details about, like, the song arrangement itself, it. It starts off fairly mellow and then is chaotic, and then it's like, mellow again, and then it's even more chaotic. And then eventually it ties up basically with the idea that Jesus Christ comes back for the second Coming, and then he's crucified all over again by the Republicans. That's amazing.
- [64:57]
Monte Mater
And, yeah, I mean, right now they're going off on all these things about toxic empathy and Jesus is too woke. And, you know, I was like, at this point, guys, just, like, detach the Christianity because it doesn't have anything to do with what you're doing at this point.
- [65:11]
Allison Blake Dellinger
They would have sent Jesus to El Salvador 100%. Like, at this point. I mean, it's, you know, like, I even said something about, like, I was in one of the conversations I had with my mom. I was even like, you do realize that, like, the MAGA folks are just the Pharisees, different skin color, but they're the Pharisees.
- [65:30]
Monte Mater
Exactly the same, but worse.
- [65:32]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [65:32]
Monte Mater
And how do you feel? Like, how do you approach when people talk to you about. Because there's these two kind of things of comments or conversations. I get there's the fundamentalist idea of, well, gay people chose to be gay and trans people choose to be trans. And then there's also this idea of, like, in the last year, Repo, like, trans people represent less than 1% of the population.
- [65:53]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right.
- [65:54]
Monte Mater
One to 1.5%. And Republicans have proposed 700 bills against trans people. And being someone who grew up in the world hearing all these things, what are your thoughts on that? What do you think is driving it? Just lay it on me.
- [66:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Okay, so. Oh, I think politically, a lot of it has to do with the fact that Republicans kind of quote, unquote, lost the war on, like, gay marriage and that sort of thing. Sure. They're trying to repeal that, obviously, but they had to find another thing to kind of make their scapegoat into. And the transition women in sports and, you know, they're transing the kids and all of that, which, for the record, if you're listening to this and you think that they're doing surgeries on children, you cannot physically do that to kids. They have not grown up enough. They do not have the tissue for those surgeries to even be performed.
- [66:49]
Monte Mater
Yeah, you can't do it.
- [66:50]
Allison Blake Dellinger
You can't do it. Like a doctor not only wouldn't. Is not allowed to do something like that, but they physically can. It's like, you know, I don't know. Point being, it's just like, because trans people are, you know, they were. We. We've already been kind of made out to be freaks for decades, even to.
- [67:15]
Monte Mater
A degree in the queer community.
- [67:16]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Oh, absolutely. That's why you have, like, the LGB without the T. Even though, like, there wouldn't be an LGBTQ plus, you know, without the T. You know, the. The person who threw the first brick at Stonewall was a trans woman, Marsha P. Johnson. But point being, I think a lot of it, as far as the culture war and everything goes, it enforces this idea that you can remake yourself, you can partake in the act of creation, so to speak, by being able to transition. And, you know, I saw somewhere, it's like. It's like the same reason, you know, God gave us yeast and not bread and gave us grapes but not wine. You know, we were able to partake in this part of creation. But this is something that's so, you know, with the way that gender roles and sexuality is so strictly, you know, policed in. In. In that culture is very. It goes against all of that. You know, you're supposed to be, like, very strict gender roles, very strict sexuality. This is how you're supposed to have sex. This is, you know, and when you're supposed to have. You're supposed to have children and that sort of thing, you know, I'm in. Everything about being a transsexual is like an affront to that. And that is something that, you know, even though people have been transitioning and, you know, everything for years and years and years, I Mean, like, they're only really using it now because they know that they can use that as, like, a scapegoat, to be like, see, this is what happens without God. This is what happens without, you know, Christianity. You become one of these freaks out here with blue.
- [69:10]
Monte Mater
Yeah. Even though trans people have existed as long as we have recorded human history.
- [69:13]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Exactly. I mean, like. Like, there's even, like, in, like, quote unquote, modern history, you know, there. There's Christine Jorgensen, who. She was a World War II vet. And upon World War II wrapping up, she went and, you know, started HRT, you know, sex change operation, all of that, and she was hailed as a hero. I think she passed away in, like, late 80s, early 90s, something like that. And, you know, I think it was.
- [69:46]
Monte Mater
89, but I'm not sure.
- [69:47]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, it was. It was. Yeah, it was a little bit before I was born. And I think that, like, you know, you have that kind. You know, if Christine Jorgensen was around today, or rather, like, you know, you had a Christine Jorgensen who was like a, you know, a veteran of another war. Right. Or something, it would be treated completely different. Even though. I mean, the first trans person I ever met was a. Was a veteran and, like, and a huge Lord of the Rings fan. That's how we bonded. And, you know, and she was married to a friend of mine's mom, and they had this, like, lesbian relationship. I didn't even realize she was trans until somebody, like, one of them told me. And it was such a wholesome kind of relationship that they had and, you know, and, like, the home that they had. I remember they had Elvish on their door. I can't remember what it is. Nerds. Super nerds.
- [70:46]
Monte Mater
Nerds.
- [70:46]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And, yeah, like, I don't know, it's. It just appealed to me. And, And. And everything about being trans is an affront to that specific brand of Christianity, I think. You know, it's certainly not a choice because I tried really hard not to be. Believe me.
- [71:07]
Monte Mater
It's like, I tried. Yeah, it's like. And I. I feel, you know, with any of my friends that. Cause many of the friends I grew up with, went to school with. We went to the same churches. Art, you know, came out much later. And it's, you know, you look at them, and we grew up knowing, well, like, we're being told, well, this is a choice. And I'm like, these people grew up with the same teaching I did, the same experiences, the same judgment, and they still came out knowing that they might lose their whole Family, their whole community. Like, why would you do that? Just for fun?
- [71:38]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [71:39]
Monte Mater
Like, you wouldn't. It's too much sacrifice.
- [71:41]
Allison Blake Dellinger
It's a rebellion, you know, it's like, I don't know, like, that's the thing. It's so short sighted. Like, and that's one reason, like, I think, you know, people say, oh, it's demon possession and that sort of thing. And I have never felt closer to God than I do now, I'll put it that way. That's amazing. I feel more myself than I ever have and more confident in what I am and who I am, et cetera. Whether that be, you know, my morals and my ethics or just, you know, my sexuality and the weird kinks I might have. It's just very, you know, all of that, the confidence to even be able to allude to that took years for me to even, you know, consider. And like, like, I don't know, I feel like everything that has been done in the name of Jesus would horrify that, that man completely.
- [72:41]
Monte Mater
Like, I had nothing to do with this.
- [72:42]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Absolutely. I mean, like, you know, Jesus wept, period. Yeah, I mean, it's very, I mean, and like that's, that's the thing that really honestly kind of sealed the deal for me with my own deconstruction was again, I kind of started getting out of it as a teenager and I realized, like, as I said earlier, you know, my mom was kind of using these words, you know, I, I obviously, you know how it was. You can't say oh my God and you can't say God damn because oh, that's really bad, you know, because, you.
- [73:14]
Monte Mater
Know, I got my mouth, mouth washed out with soap for saying what the hell.
- [73:18]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Supposed to say H e double hockey sticks or heck.
- [73:21]
Monte Mater
Yep. But even hex pushing it though, depending.
- [73:23]
Allison Blake Dellinger
On who you're around, 100%. Yeah, we were, we would have been friends.
- [73:30]
Monte Mater
We'd have been like, you seeing this.
- [73:31]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah. But all that to say, like, you know, that's like taking the Lord's name in vain, right? Or at least that's what they say it is. And like, I always thought that that was, that can't be it. That can't be what taking the Lord's name in vain is. You're telling me that this almighty being that put everything into motion, everything, like our entire world and universe is really concerned about somebody going, ah, God damn it. You know? No.
- [74:03]
Monte Mater
Versus, like sending innocent people to foreign countries to go to mega prisons under his name and.
- [74:09]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yep, in the name of God, I.
- [74:10]
Monte Mater
Would dare say that that's taking the Lord's name in vain.
- [74:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That is what that is. That's what it's totally always meant to be, but has never been actually like. Because if they actually taught it that way, then they would have way more to answer for in that sin. And that was one thing that really kind of brought it out for me was okay, not only my mom, but most of the adults in my life have used the word of God to perpetuate their horrible ideas or do things that are wrong, that are absolutely wrong and would be wrong in any other context. But they say, well, I had a. I had a. I had a moment with God. I prayed about it and that sort of thing. God talked to me and like, that sort of thing. And that was when I was like, no, this can't be it. This can't be it. And from that point forward, you know, I mean, like, anybody who says that they have those kind of conversations with, with God, with Jesus that ultimately involve them doing some kind of action or harm against another person rather than like, if it's, if it's like I had a conversation with Jesus about my own inner self, you know, sure. Like some sometimes that can be a little. Eh. But for the most part, you're at least it's yourself. Right. But when it's.
- [75:42]
Monte Mater
But magically, God always confirms your own bias and allows you to hurt the people you don't like. That's conven.
- [75:48]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Right. And it's just so like that, that was what did it for me more than anything else could have. Because, I mean, I loved. I loved the Bible, I loved Jesus, I loved going to church. I mean, like, that is something that I don't think people really, you know, I wasn't, I was afraid of hell. I have rapture trauma, you know, like, I mean, I.
- [76:12]
Monte Mater
Me too.
- [76:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, big time. I didn't think I was going to make it to adulthood because I thought I would get zapped up into the sky one day.
- [76:18]
Monte Mater
Yep.
- [76:19]
Allison Blake Dellinger
And like, you know, I mean, but I was all on board and I loved the lore and I still do, you know, if, like some of that.
- [76:26]
Monte Mater
I love the history of it. I love the legends.
- [76:28]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Exactly. Like, you know, even if you don't believe in everything that happened or that it was good or whatever, it's still interesting.
- [76:36]
Monte Mater
Yep.
- [76:36]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Hence why I'm in a Tolkien. So like, all of that to say I was really in it and you were really in it. Like, we believed this stuff and really took it to heart and really lived the way that we were supposed to Live that we were indoctrinated into from a very, very early age. And you're like saying that I made a choice or somebody else indoctrinated me into thinking this way.
- [77:08]
Monte Mater
Because in your case, it should be the opposite. Yeah, right. If indoctrination is the answer.
- [77:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah, like 100%. Because, I mean, like, that's really what it boils down to is like, nobody made me think I was trans or made me think the way I do it all was based on my own experience and my own inner turmoil. I mean, when I was a teenager, I had touched on this a little bit earlier, but, like, I was repressing all of this stuff about my gender and, like, the religious stuff. You know, my parents had gotten a divorce. I was like, doing drugs all the time. You know, I was doing very harmful things, things to myself as a teenager, when in reality, some therapy and maybe puberty blockers would have been like, the answer.
- [77:48]
Monte Mater
Yeah.
- [77:49]
Allison Blake Dellinger
You know, instead I was taking like. I mean, I was doing acid like every other of the other day and like, just like insane. Like, that's certainly not good for a developing brain.
- [78:01]
Monte Mater
Of course not.
- [78:01]
Allison Blake Dellinger
You know, I'm not against psychedelics necessarily, but I am certainly like, be careful. Yeah, just be careful. I was not. I was smooth. You know, I was smoking that gas station spice stuff. You remember that when that was a thing? Because, you know, if you have $20 in your pocket and you're 15, 16 years old, are you gonna go get like a gram, an overpriced gram of some good stuff from the drug dealer that's sometimes home? Or are you gonna go to the gas station and get 5 grams of some shit that you don't really know what it is, but it gets you high.
- [78:30]
Monte Mater
Yeah, see, I never. I never did that. I was way too straight laced. I didn't actually start drinking until I was 21. Yeah. I was like, no, you don't.
- [78:37]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I probably drank more angel before. I was straight lazy.
- [78:39]
Monte Mater
Now I'm like, someone grabbed the bourbon immediately.
- [78:42]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yeah.
- [78:43]
Monte Mater
So, like, I've got one more question before we kind of shamelessly plug your music in your tour. For people who are deconstructing or in religion or even some in the queer community wrestling with trans identity and the community is a big question. How would you encourage people to start to learn more, be more supportive of the community and really be curious about it?
- [79:08]
Allison Blake Dellinger
I would say. I mean, you really have to. I mean, it sounds kind of cliche, but you really have to lean into the empathy of the situation. Like, nobody's asking you to understand it all or you have to get it in order to be able to accept that other people are the way they are for one reason or another. And it's not like some, you know, there's not like some. One big grandiose reasoning behind any of it. There's. It's not the devil. It's not that kind of scapegoatism. It's very different, you know, from person to person. Like, sure, what I get, you know, in my community, particularly trans femmes, you know, we all have like a lot of similar experiences, especially like how we figured it out and that sort of thing, which says a lot about, you know, how it is connected in the sense like where we have these similar experiences that are then revalidated by meeting people like us that had similar experiences. But it's never ever like, you know, oh, well, I drank. I drank the water in this one place or something. You know, it's. It's very much like I was, you know, I. Various backgrounds, people that were religious, people whose parents were totally not religious, you know, and were accepting. You know, it's always. It's always, you know, people. People are just different people. There are just always going to be people that are different than you. And if you're deconstructing and you're trying to kind of figure out what your whole deal is, not even just religiously, but like, maybe your sexuality or your gender or whatever, it's okay to explore that even if it doesn't end up like, you know, being your thing necessary necessarily. Because, like, I mean, I am friends with people who detransitioned and they're not making a bunch of money grifting, saying, oh, the doctors, they made me transition and now my body's ruined or whatever. No, most people detransition that I have met and in general, frankly, are just like, oh, yeah, I was messing with like my gender and I was trying to figure out who I was and I found out that's not necessarily what I was. And I'm.
- [81:38]
Monte Mater
That's not really what I wanted.
- [81:39]
Allison Blake Dellinger
That's not really what I. Yeah, it didn't work for me. And I mean, HRT after like a year or two is, you know, if you stop doing it, you'll, you know, you just stop taking it and you'll more or less be back to the way you were beforehand, you know, in no time.
- [81:54]
Monte Mater
And also, like, like, therapy is such a big part of that. Like, find a good therapist and ask those questions that feel uncomfortable. Like, find a Safe space to ask them and just put it out there.
- [82:04]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Explore. Explore all of the options. I have explored a lot of things about myself and I'm glad that I did because I found out what I liked and what I didn't like, what I agree with and what I don't agree with. The things that work for me, you know, when I first started transitioning and a lot of people of, you know, trans women specifically are like this, you know, they go super hyper femme wearing makeup every single day, you know, gotta be real cute, gotta be real pink, etc, and then. But then you kind of, oh, wait, I'm perpetuating that stereotype from the opposite end. Wait, let me backtrack that a little bit. You know, that sort of thing you have, you know, you have to have those kind of experiences to kind of find out who you are. And like, that's something that's really beautiful about life in general is like figuring out what it all means and how who you are and what you are interacts with the world at large. And I would just say allow yourself grace because God knows Jesus would. And it's not a sin or it's not evil for you to do so. It's simply just being human. And that's all you can really say about it.
- [83:23]
Monte Mater
I love that. Be curious. Curious. Take part in creation. So you're going on tour tomorrow. Let people know where they can find you, where they can find your music, where the tour will be. Yes, all the info.
- [83:34]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Okay, so yeah, this is your fourth wall moment. This is looking straight at the camera. Yeah. So band is called Flummox. We are possum core genre, fluid, heavy rock, sexual deviant, androgynous, creatures of the night. And. And we have a new album on Needle Juice Records, Southern Progress. It's out on streaming. It's out on vinyl, CD and cassette. For you real big nerds out there. We are going on tour with Mac Sabbath. That is the. That is not Black Sabbath is Max Sabbath. And they're, you know, they're the guns who dress up like the McDonald's characters or they are the McDonald's characters. What am I saying? But we're going on tour with them. We're gonna be in Dallas on Friday and then from there we're gonna. Let's see. See if I can do this Friday.
- [84:24]
Monte Mater
The. Because we're recording this early Friday the 18th.
- [84:27]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Friday the 18th. So we've priority played Dallas by the time you're hearing this. This. But we're going to be in Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, New Orleans, Birmingham, Atlanta, Charlotte, Pittsburgh, New York City, Philadelphia, New Bedford, Fairfield, Buffalo, Cleveland, Ferndale, Grand Rapids, Chicago and then eventually in Nashville again. And what are your social media socials? I'm on everything you can find me on Instagram, Alison Blake, Flummixer and my band is flumoxstagram.
- [85:10]
Monte Mater
And these will all be in the show notes.
- [85:12]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Yes and I am pretty googleable so just find me wherever and yeah, thanks again for having me.
- [85:19]
Monte Mater
Monster thank you for coming. We had been talking about her coming on an episode and I messaged her yesterday and was like is there any chance you can come tomorrow? So thank you so much for being here.
- [85:28]
Allison Blake Dellinger
Thank you so much for having me.
- [85:29]
Monte Mater
Thank you to everyone listening to Flipping Tables. I hope it was informative and funny and you learned a little bit more about our experiences as humans. And what I would say from all of this is that I hope what I can give to people who follow me or listen to any content I create be curious. I'm not asking you to agree with me or to believe the things I believe or what someone else believes, but be willing to ask the question and lead with love and grace. First ask the questions. Be willing to explore. And again, thank you to my Patreon supporters for voting in these topics as well as you will be getting ad free episodes as soon as these sponsorships clear and start getting added to these episodes. So if you want to have podcast episodes early released ad free as well as get to vote on topics and get a lot more conversation with me private forum content, you can join me on Patreon. But until then I will see you next week on Flipping Tables.