Flipping Tables – Episode 54 “Give Me Your Angry, Your Lost and Your Lonely”

Host: Monte Mader
Date: February 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Monte Mader explores the weaponization of young men throughout history—particularly under Nazi Germany—and draws parallels to the present-day crisis of male radicalization within online spaces and the manosphere. With her trademark candor and blend of personal reflection and scholarly research, Monte unpacks how hierarchical, patriarchal social systems manipulate, damage, and ultimately exploit men, arguing for a deeper understanding of patriarchy as a destructive system that harms everyone. She connects these historic patterns to the rise of extremism and disconnection among young men today, issuing a call to acknowledge and address men’s pain as a path to preventing future violence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Modern “Manosphere” and Radicalization of Young Men

• [00:00–05:06]

  • Monte opens with a critique of misogynistic trends in the online “manosphere,” highlighting how social media grooms isolated young men through grievance, identity crisis, and manipulative offers of purpose.
  • She cites men defending controversial figures, advocating for women’s disenfranchisement, and promoting violence—showing the normalization and escalation of misogynistic rhetoric.
  • Monte draws a direct historical line from current digital radicalization to the grooming of young men by the Nazi movement in the 1930s.

  Quote:

  “Patriarchy promises power but delivers chains. It convinces young men that their value lies in control, not connection; in supremacy, not self.”
  —Monte [03:50]

  • She cautions against ignoring the pain and vulnerability of young men, warning that "manipulation thrives in silence."
  • By understanding how systems prey on men’s fears and longing, Monte insists, we can disrupt cycles of radicalization and violence.

Personal Reflections: The Pain & Deservingness of Men

• [07:23–08:39]

  • Monte reflects on her own father—abusive, but deeply loved—emphasizing that men, especially those scarred by patriarchy, deserve love, care, respect, joy, and healing.

  Quote:

  “If I could hold my dad and tell him anything, I would tell him he deserves to have his dreams, not just provide; that he deserved a life he loved. And to all the men hearing this, I’m saying this to you as well. You deserve more.”
  —Monte [08:15]

Defining Patriarchy and Its Impact on All

• [10:13–26:55]

  • Monte systematically defines patriarchy—not as synonymous with men, but as “a social order in which men hold a disproportionate power, authority, and privilege,” a system upheld through rigid hierarchies and enforced gender norms.
  • She explains that patriarchy doesn’t just oppress women and minorities; it deeply harms men by enforcing emotional suppression, obedience, and a fear of vulnerability.
  • Discusses “hegemonic masculinity” and how boys are taught to shun vulnerability, leading to mental health crises, increased suicide rates, loneliness, and risk-taking behaviors.
  • Explores how economic, romantic, and social pressures create a “divorce to Nazi ideology pipeline”: men losing a key relationship can spiral into extremism after being denied emotional expression elsewhere.

  Quote:

  “Men who experience this type of emotional dysregulation are more likely to experience loneliness, which research now identifies as the most significant predictor of premature death. Not having community will kill you.”
  —Monte [24:15]

• Structural Hierarchy Within Patriarchy

  • Even within male groups, power flows down from elites, leaving "ordinary men" obedient and stripped of promised rewards.
    • [14:40]: “In practice, most men are not the patriarchs... they are the subordinates expected to obey those patriarchal norms while receiving none of its privileges.”

• The Pressures on Romantic Relationships

  • Men—conditioned to avoid vulnerability with friends—rely solely on romantic partners for emotional support, creating toxic dependency and resentment.

The Weaponization of Male Vulnerability: Germany’s Nazi Youth

• [28:30–49:10]

  • Monte details how Nazi Germany systematically preyed on the pain and directionlessness of post-WWI young men, deploying propaganda, schools, and youth organizations as recruitment tools.
  • Nazi propaganda glorified “militarized masculinity” and offered clear, gendered purpose—transforming adolescent boys into willing participants in violence.
  • The Hitler Youth became the main pipeline for indoctrination: adventure, belonging, uniforms, and rituals forged an “in-group” identity and loyalty to Hitler, rather than to the nation or ideals.

  Quote:

  “The task of the school is to create National Socialist men.”
  —1934 directive, cited by Monte [46:33]

  • Parallels are drawn to modern extremist movements: school boards, limiting information, and creating patriotic curricula echo Nazi-era tactics.

  Quote:

  “Indoctrination never comes by access to more information. It comes by limiting, standardizing, and requiring specific information.”
  —Monte [46:53]

The Role of Ritual and Community in Recruitment

• [75:00–80:00]

  • Rituals (chants, uniforms, oaths, symbolic acts) are described as “psychological glue,” bypassing rationality to create powerful, emotional group identities—a tactic used by Nazis, cults, and even some modern churches.

  Quote:

  “The meaning of the ritual doesn’t have to make rational sense; it’s the feeling that it produces that matters.”
  —Monte [78:00]

Men, Violence, and Extremism: The Cost of Belonging

• [81:00–104:00]

  • Explains how Nazi boys, funneled into the SA and SS, were trained in submission, violence, and moral disengagement; the lines between personal and state violence blurred.
  • Social, legal, and educational structures reinforced absolute obedience—targeting the “outsider” (Jews, communists, LGBTQ individuals, disabled, and “asocial” people).
  • Describes how escalating legal and social impunity (e.g., Gestapo/SS without review) made violence normalized, even incentivized.

  Quote:

  “Loyalty gets rewarded, dissent gets punished, and moral courage... discouraged. It’s a good way to lose your community, to lose your status, if you stand up for, quote, the wrong people.”
  —Monte [34:50]

  • Letters and later testimonies from Nazi soldiers are discussed, illustrating the psychological transformation: initial shock at violence, followed by rapid desensitization.

  Quote:

  “The first time we were sick, the second time less so. By the third time, the men were talking while they fired.”
  —Member of Police Battalion 101, postwar testimony [101:20]

  • Always, Monte reminds, there were dissenters in every era, people like John Brown who saw and resisted evil—there is no historical inevitability, only choices made within systems.

Connection to Modern America

• Throughout
  • Monte frequently compares the dynamics of Nazi Germany to current trends in the U.S.: school board activism, patriotic curriculum pushes, movements to disenfranchise women, and the resurgence of open far-right violence.
  • She notes the continued overlap between patriarchy, white supremacy, and religious nationalism, and warns of the dangers of letting pain and loneliness become weaponized by those seeking power.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Patriarchy Hurts Everyone:

  “Understanding that patriarchy does not mean men... it harms everyone is why breaking it down leads to a healthier society. It’s not about dismantling men. It’s about dismantling the rigid roles that dehumanize men and women.” [29:40]

• On the False Promise of Power:

  “The system that tells men you must dominate to be a man is the same system that isolates them, damages them, and makes them vulnerable to manipulation.” [27:22]

• On Indoctrination and Information:

  “Whenever you see book bans, limiting access to dialogue... your red flag should go up. Because it’s always through the limiting of information that indoctrination happens, not the exposure to more information.” [54:25]

• On Resistance:

  “...in every instance in history, whether it’s the Holocaust or slavery or any other time, there were always people that knew better. This is not an excuse for them. It’s simply more insight, more information.” [102:00]

Breakdown of Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–05:06| Critique of the manosphere; linking current radicalization to historic patterns | | 07:23–08:39| Personal reflections on the pain and worth of men | | 10:13–26:55| Deep dive into patriarchy: definitions, mechanisms, harms | | 28:30–49:10| The making of Nazi youth: propaganda, schools, Hitler Youth | | 53:00–62:00| Economic instability as gateway; Nazi rallies as mass manipulation | | 75:00–80:00| The psychological function of ritual in mass movements | | 81:00–104:00| Transition from indoctrination to violence; escalation and normalization of brutality | | 101:20 | Testimony: “The first time we were sick, the second time less so. By the third time…” | | 102:00 | Reflection: Historical choices & dissenters |

Tone and Style

Monte’s delivery is urgent yet compassionate, scholarly yet personal. She combines historical detail, social science, and snippets of her own journey from evangelical fundamentalism to progressive activism. The episode blends deep empathy with unflinching critique, creating a challenging but ultimately hopeful call for change.

Takeaways for Listeners

• The weaponization of men’s pain is a recurring theme in history; ignoring male suffering does not prevent violence—it feeds cycles of manipulation.
• Patriarchy as a system harms everyone and should be dismantled not to attack men, but to liberate all.
• History shows how easily resentment, loneliness, and suppressed vulnerability can be exploited to fuel extremism and mass violence.
• Creating emotional literacy, shared power, and true community is the antidote to hierarchical systems that demand obedience and breed brutality.
• There is always a choice—no system is inevitable. Resistance and compassion are both possible and necessary.

For a more in-depth exploration of these themes and Monte’s blend of scholarship and lived experience, listen to the full episode.