Flipping Tables Podcast – "But Who Am I?" with Kyndle Wylde

Host: Monte Mader
Date: January 26, 2026

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation, host Monte Mader sits down with Memphis-born soul, blues, and rock artist Kyndle Wylde. The episode explores Kyndle's journey from a sheltered Pentecostal upbringing in small-town Tennessee through spiritual questioning and deconstruction, and into a bold life as a gigging musician and artist. Together, they peel back layers of religious expectation, creative evolution, and self-discovery—delving into the impact of church community, identity, sobriety, creative process, and female autonomy, both inside and outside evangelical culture.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Growing Up Immersed in Church & Music

• Kyndle’s musical beginnings: Started singing at age 4 in her grandfather’s church, with a musically gifted family steeped in gospel and Christian rock ([02:33]-[03:20]).
  • “Music was… that’s where music started for me in the church, and I’m really grateful for that.” – Kyndle ([02:47])
• Sheltered upbringing: Little exposure to mainstream music or the wider world ([03:21]-[04:34])
  • “I knew my bubble very well.” – Kyndle ([04:34])

2. Small Town Upbringing and Identity

• Kyndle grew up just outside Memphis, in Bolivar, TN—a small, predominantly Black working-class town ([04:42]-[05:51]).
• The church was located outside of town, essentially Pentecostal (with speaking in tongues, testimonies, etc.), setting her family apart ([06:03]-[07:40]).
  • “It was Pentecostal, essentially… not in the traditional sense…but definitely, like, speaking in tongues, running around the church, you know…” – Kyndle ([06:03])

3. Faith, Shelteredness, and Early Worldview

• Faith as identity and expectation: Kyndle was the “example” as the oldest daughter and a role model in the church ([09:02]).
• Spiritual worldview: Saw life as constant “spiritual warfare”—a lens that felt simultaneously real and, in hindsight, a form of “mental hijacking” ([10:52]-[11:24]).
  • “There was always a spiritual warfare being fought on my behalf.” – Kyndle ([10:52])
• The process of keeping, discarding, and reckoning with what you inherit from faith ([11:54]).

4. Creative Awakening and Meeting Adam

• Meeting husband Adam, a fellow musician, was a transformative experience—a “before and after” moment ([13:10]-[15:17]).
  • “For me, life really is like, before Adam and after Adam. He’s my Christ, my before Christ/after Christ.” – Kyndle ([13:10])
• Adam exposed Kyndle to creative freedom, experimentation, and even challenging spiritual ideas, like the film Zeitgeist, which destabilized her inherited worldview ([17:37]-[19:32]).
  • “Secretly I was like, I’m gonna save this boy’s soul.” – Kyndle ([17:53])
  • “When I saw [Zeitgeist], it really shook my foundation…for someone who had never even remotely considered…” – Kyndle ([17:56])

5. Transitioning Through Church Cultures

• The family leaves her grandfather’s church for a satellite campus of a Memphis megachurch ([19:52]-[21:39]).
• Kyndle is groomed for worship leadership, caught in cycles of emotional manipulation and unpaid labor ([22:09]–[25:54])
  • “What they wanted was me to be full time Worship leader. But I had to earn it. Prove myself…” – Kyndle ([22:09])
  • Notable moment: Kyndle is emotionally “worked up” by leadership, pressured to quit college, break up with Adam, and commit to a year-long unpaid internship called Damascus Road ([25:09]-[27:02])
    • “Maybe God is telling you to break up with Adam…” ([25:09])

6. Rejecting Manipulation and Embracing Autonomy

• After serious emotional conflict, Kyndle decides not to join the church internship, leading to instantaneous withdrawal of support and favor from church leaders ([34:25]).
  • “As soon as I said no, they flipped a switch…some of them wouldn’t even look at me.” – Kyndle ([34:25])
• Realizes the church culture runs on transactional relationships, especially for women ([35:43]-[38:13])

7. The Manufactured Liturgy of Modern Worship

• Monte and Kyndle discuss the emotional manipulation of worship music—music, lighting, environment—producing trance-like states without people’s full awareness ([38:40]-[42:45]).
  • “No one is consenting to this... it is this, like, altered state.” – Kyndle ([39:23])
  • “It’s a trance, like state… in many ways it is.” – Monte ([39:45])

8. Leaving Church and the Search for Self

• The logistical break: An internship in Nashville becomes the gateway for Kyndle to miss church and finally experience what peace feels like outside the system ([45:40]-[47:29]).
  • “The peace that I felt in that moment was so real. It was like, wow, I don’t have to do this anymore.” – Kyndle ([46:15])

9. From Gigging to Artistic Authenticity

• The grind of gig life: playing to empty rooms, feeling stuck, reprogramming the performer’s mindset ([47:42]-[51:05]).
  • “I really had to... do the work to get that out of my system.” – Kyndle ([50:18])
• Difficulty discovering her own preferences, likes, and identity after a life of performance—inside church and out ([51:06]-[52:36])
  • “I didn’t know what I liked. I didn’t know what foods I really loved. I didn’t know what kind of music I actually really liked…” – Monte ([51:06])

10. Sobriety, Healing, and Female Community

• Kyndle shares her journey into sobriety and how it has led to deeper self-knowledge, emotional growth, and connection to feminine identity ([61:51]-[71:00]).
  • “Greatest decision that I have ever made, honestly.” – Kyndle ([65:29])
• Both discuss the difficulty and power in sitting with uncomfortable feelings and the value of strong female friendships and community ([71:01]-[73:54])

11. Ritual, Healing, and Intuition

• Discussion around the use of ritual (journaling, tarot, creativity) as a means to connect with self and process experiences formerly suppressed by faith and performance ([73:55]-[77:58]).
• Monte shares a deeply personal story of healing trauma through psychedelic ceremonies and how emotional release reflected in her voice itself ([84:19]-[89:12]).
  • “For so many years...I had not allowed myself to feel anything. I didn’t allow. I didn’t cry for nine years when I was a teenager. Like, I didn’t allow myself tears. I didn’t allow myself mourning...” – Monte ([85:32])

12. Creation, Journaling, and Spiritual Recovery

• Discussion of the power of journaling, “The Artist’s Way,” and connecting with oneself apart from religious obligation ([91:10]-[97:02])
  • “I have found that belief in myself and trust in myself is belief in God and belief and trust in this thing...” – Kyndle ([96:37])

13. Breaking Cycles, Letting Go of Burdens

• Kyndle reflects on the burdens placed on her as a child, including caring for others’ souls, parentification, and the relief of realizing much of that responsibility was never hers ([105:10]-[107:26])
  • “It’s not your responsibility. You didn’t. There was so much that you took on that you had to take on. You felt like you had to. That was not yours to carry.” – Kyndle ([105:10])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Deconstruction:
  • "The opposite of faith is certainty. And there's nothing wrong with asking the questions and learning more. And it's also totally okay to change our minds when we come in contact with new information." – Monte ([110:27])
• On Worship Dynamics:
  • “The people who are worship leaders, they're basically rock stars in the church.” – Kyndle ([23:37])
• On Gender, Creativity, and Autonomy:
  • “I realized, like, I haven't had women in my life that I'm like, that see eye to eye with me with this stuff. So reading, you know, Women who Run with Wolves... I am a woman, and that means something.” – Kyndle ([69:12])
• On the Manipulation of Religious Experience:
  • “It is this, like, altered state… this reality that you're not aware of... all the tactics that are being used to get you into this... basically hypnosis.” – Kyndle ([39:22])
• On Healing and Responsibility:
  • “There was so much that you took on that you had to take on. You felt like you had to. That was not yours to carry.” – Kyndle ([105:10])

Essential Timestamps

| Segment | Topic/Quote | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Childhood music and church | “Music was... that’s where music started for me in the church” | 02:47 | | Impact of sheltered upbringing | “I knew my bubble very well.” | 04:34 | | Faith as an identity | “There was always a spiritual warfare being fought on my behalf...” | 10:52 | | Meeting Adam and creative awakening | “Life is like, before Adam and after Adam... He’s my Christ” | 13:10 | | Shattering old worldviews (Zeitgeist) | “It really shook my foundation...” | 17:56 | | Manipulation at the megachurch | “...emotionally just, like, ready to be manipulated... told to quit college, leave Adam” | 25:09 | | Post-church peace | “The peace that I felt in that moment was so real. It was like, wow, I don’t have to do this anymore.” | 46:15 | | On consent in worship rituals | “No one is consenting to this... it's basically hypnosis.” | 39:22 | | Sobriety and emotional presence | “Greatest decision that I have ever made, honestly.” | 65:29 | | Power of female connection | “I’m excited to see who I am continually, you know, and to change...” | 92:57–93:58 | | Letting go of burdens | “There was so much that you took on... that was not yours to carry.” | 105:10 | | Host’s parting wisdom | “The opposite of faith is certainty... learn what you like... experience the freedom...” | 110:27 |

Recommended Resources & Books (from the episode)

• All About Love by bell hooks ([100:05])
• Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution ([103:18])
• Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés ([103:18])
• The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron ([96:44])

Musical Influences

• Kelly Clarkson: “My first real musical influence was Kelly Clarkson on American Idol.” ([109:01])
• Aretha Franklin, Carole King: The power and lineage behind iconic performances like “A Natural Woman.” ([109:26])

Closing Inspiration

• On faith, doubt, and curiosity:
  • “My challenge is always at the end of these shows is to just be curious... Faith requires doubt. The opposite of faith is certainty. And there’s nothing wrong with asking the questions and learning more... Experience the freedom that can come with that.” – Monte ([110:27])

This episode offers an unflinching look at the ways evangelical culture shapes identity and creativity, the push toward personal autonomy (especially for women), and the ongoing work of healing, self-knowledge, and self-love. If you've ever faced the challenge of rebuilding your beliefs, rediscovering your voice, or learning how to simply be, this conversation will resonate deeply.

Listen to Kyndle Wylde’s self-titled EP for more of her musical journey.