Flipping Tables – "The Right Way": Immigration, ICE and What You Can Do (with Daphne Delvaux)

Podcast: Flipping Tables
Host: Monte Mader
Guest: Daphne Delvaux
Date: February 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode features immigration attorney and recent U.S. citizen Daphne Delvaux. Monte and Daphne explore the complexities and often inhumane realities of U.S. immigration, dispelling myths around the "right way" to immigrate. The conversation blends Daphne’s personal immigration journey with actionable legal advice, critiques of U.S. immigration practices, and a powerful message of hope and resilience. The episode weaves together faith, law, activism, and community, culminating in a call for informed, strategic resistance and support for those most affected by current policies.

Key Discussion Points

1. Daphne’s Personal Immigration Story

[03:31–11:51]

• Daphne’s Journey: Moved from Belgium to the U.S. on a student visa, then transitioned through multiple visa statuses before becoming a U.S. citizen.
  • Needed $20-30k in a bank account to get a student visa—achieved with relatives’ help for one crucial screenshot [04:29].
  • Even as a privileged, white European lawyer, she faced immense obstacles.
  • Experienced a green card denial due to not “commingling” finances with her spouse—highlighting the system's rigidity and misplaced suspicions [06:41].
    • “The fact that I got denied, I think, showcases…it’s such a snapshot and a microcosm into how hard it is even when you have the resources, even when you have the knowledge.” (Daphne, 07:26)
  • U.S. citizenship process involved “proving your love,” invasive interviews, and extensive documentation [08:44].
  • Citizenship ceremony was "awkward," militarized, and included a video from then-President Trump, followed by party recruitment booths [17:46].

Notable Quote:
“We had to pledge and we had to pledge to denounce allegiance to any other nation, which just felt so, like, okay. And then we had to pledge allegiance only to the United States.” (Daphne, 15:47)

2. Myth-Busting: The “Right Way” and Systemic Cruelty

[11:51–21:24]

• False Simplicity: The notion that immigrants should “just do it the right way” is deeply misleading.
  • Becoming a citizen is arduous, expensive, and highly restrictive; “waiting in line” is heartless and uninformed.
  • Main routes are extremely narrow: marriage (often imbalanced and open to abuse), limited employment pathways (prone to exploitation), or rare types of visas.
• Voting and Benefits Myths:
  • “All these undocumented migrants are voting.” – Not possible; only citizens can vote and access public benefits [17:25].

Notable Quote:
“Undocumented immigrants pay…$98 billion into the economy and into, like, in taxes, and they get nothing back. They don’t qualify for any benefits.” (Monte, 19:16)

3. The Political Landscape: Party Recruiting and the “In-Group” Dynamic

[17:10–22:03]

• Newly minted citizens are targets of immediate political recruitment—both Democrats and Republicans.
  • Republicans bring the "better snacks", hot girls, and aggressive outreach.
  • Monte: “You have to be compelling…You have to do something.” [20:28]
  • Purity testing and gatekeeping also exist on the left, creating barriers for those trying to leave extremist or conservative spaces.

4. The Need for Community and Belonging

[27:02–33:28]

• Many stay in exclusionary spaces (like ultra-conservative churches) out of fear of losing community.
  • Loss of connection is “existential” and often a powerful tool for controlling behavior and beliefs.
  • European vs. American social structures: European life offers broader, less siloed community, reducing the grip of religious institutions [31:49].

Notable Quote:
“Losing access to that, to your primal brain, is going to feel like dying.” (Daphne, 32:50)

Highlight: The Liam Ramos Ruling

[33:28–42:01]

Background

• Liam Ramos: A five-year-old boy used as bait by ICE in Minnesota; his story and subsequent legal victory provide a focal point for the episode.

Judge Berry’s Landmark Ruling

• Concise, urgent, and deeply human; condemned ICE’s actions as “cruel” and “traumatizing children.”
• Quoted the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and the Bible (“Let the children come to me” and “Jesus wept”) [36:01].
• Monte: “By doing that…in that ruling, took all of these power plays that Christian nationalism uses to defend itself…took all of that away from them and said, ‘No, it doesn’t.’” [40:49]
• The ruling’s inclusion of scripture was a strategic move, neutralizing arguments that claim legal or religious justification for state violence.

Notable Quote:
“A spiritual rupture…It was like this holy trifecta…Constitution, Declaration, Bible—that he needed to get Liam free.” (Daphne, 37:31)

ICE, Enforcement, and Legal Realities

[45:27–60:28]

High-Level Guidance

• If approached by ICE:
  • Don’t run. Running can trigger criminal charges [45:27].
  • You do not have to answer questions beyond identification; calmly state, “Am I free to leave?”
  • Citizens should carry ID, but a photocopy is often sufficient.
  • ICE cannot lawfully enter a home without a warrant—do not open the door, but do not flee [47:45].
  • Third parties (witnesses) can record in public.

Systematic Abuse

• ICE’s shift: From reactive enforcement toward proactive, aggressive, and often unlawful tactics.
• The “cruelty IS the policy.” Family separation, racial profiling, and terror are intentional strategies [52:47].
• U.S. system deliberately creates a class of highly vulnerable, easily exploitable workers.

Notable Quote:
“A scared immigrant is an exploitable immigrant. And so when we create this culture of tension and fear and terror, it is just a lot easier to use people. And these are the people that are holding up the whole economy.” (Daphne, 55:53)

Legal Loopholes and Resistance

• U.S. immigration law is cruel compared to the EU, where family separation is criminalized; the U.S. holds to a punitive, exploitative model [57:30].
• Family separation under Trump was not incidental but intentional and documented [52:47].
• There are not enough immigration lawyers for the volume and severity of cases; legal petitions and support are vital to resist abuse [61:13].

What You Can Do Now: Direct Steps

[61:13–66:05]

• Donate and Support:

  • National Immigrant Justice Center, National Immigrant Law Center, and local immigration legal defense organizations.
  • Fundraisers, events, and direct donation to immigration attorneys—who are often underpaid or working pro bono.

• Volunteering and Advocacy:

  • Volunteer translation of resources (e.g., into Spanish).
  • Active outreach to immigrants in your community: “How can I support you? How can I be in your life in a way…that you don’t belong here because this is actually your land?” (Daphne, 68:28)

• For White Allies:

  • Use your privilege to record, witness, and offer support, knowing you are at less risk of profiling.
  • File petitions and support legal challenges to ICE abuses—mass legal action can deter agents and force systemic change.

Hope, Activism, and Sustainable Resistance

[69:08–86:02]

• Self-Care in Resistance:

  • Activism in America is “inherently traumatizing,” especially for the empathetic.
  • Avoid martyrdom: “There is a capitalist streak in activism too…mission work above else…It is unkind to the body.” (Daphne, 78:48)
  • Seek “restful activism” full of joy, community, and sustainable effort [79:23].

• Collective Power:

  • Americans are rediscovering community, solidarity, and mutual support—crucial for the long struggle ahead.
  • “Community creates groundedness and it creates rootedness...” (Daphne, 85:53)

• The End of American Exceptionalism:

  • The reckoning with the truth about America is necessary for collective healing and transformation, as seen in historical European recovery [82:47].

Book & Resource Recommendations

[89:53–91:08]

• Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
• Cassandra Speaks by Elizabeth Lesser

Quote Highlights & Memorable Moments

• “It was a prove your love interview…You really have to document your love and your marriage as a case.” (Daphne, 09:12)
• “I have to stand in that space for you. And part of it, I feel like, is my obligation…because I know what that middle space feels like.” (Monte, 30:29)
• “Judge Berry did something so intelligent by saying, this not only violates the Constitution…he also brought in Scripture…By doing that…it completely gutted their whole argument.” (Monte, 40:49)
• “A scared immigrant is an exploitable immigrant…these are the people that are holding up the whole economy.” (Daphne, 55:53)
• “We have so much privilege…We can do a lot more, especially for women of color…and also, we are still going through something…that too, my European friends, sounds completely unfathomable.” (Daphne, 71:34)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction and theme: [00:04–02:26]
• Daphne’s personal immigration story: [03:31–13:14]
• Political recruitment and party dynamics: [17:10–22:03]
• Community & purity tests on the left: [27:02–33:28]
• The Liam Ramos ICE case & legal ruling: [33:28–42:01]
• U.S. immigration realities & ICE abuses: [45:27–60:28]
• What listeners can do—action & advocacy: [61:13–66:05]
• Finding hope and the long view: [69:08–86:02]
• Book recommendations: [89:53–91:08]

Where to Follow Daphne

• Instagram: @themomattorney
• Book: Moms in Labor – Out March 3rd, 2026

Final Takeaways

This episode challenges the myth of the “right way” to immigrate and lays bare the cruelty embedded in U.S. immigration policy, from the personal to the systemic. Daphne Delvaux leverages her lived experience and legal expertise to empower listeners with both practical advice and a vision for hope—rooted not just in resistance but in sustainable, collective care and the rediscovery of community. The conversation leaves listeners informed, motivated, and reminded that the collapse is not the end; together, a better future can be built.