Larry David

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade: Episode Featuring Larry David

Introduction

In this episode of Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade, released on April 30, 2025, longtime friends Dana Carvey and David Spade sit down with the legendary comedian Larry David. The conversation delves deep into Larry’s illustrious career, his unique approach to comedy, and his experiences behind the scenes of beloved shows like Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Larry David’s Career Insights

Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm are cornerstone works in Larry David’s career, and the hosts explore the genesis and evolution of these shows. Larry reflects on his time at Seinfeld, sharing anecdotes about navigating early seasons and his expectations for the show's longevity.

Larry David [09:31]: "Yeah, I was there up until '98."

Dana and David discuss the initial skepticism surrounding Seinfeld, with Larry admitting he didn’t foresee its long-term success.

Larry David [32:24]: "I thought it would be gone very quickly. I had, I was just doing it for the pilot. I would do a pilot, get paid for the pilot. And then that would be it."

The Art of Improvisation

A significant portion of the discussion centers on Curb Your Enthusiasm and its improvisational style. Larry emphasizes the importance of spontaneity in the show, contrasting it with traditional sitcoms that rely heavily on scripted lines.

Larry David [12:29]: "The hard part for Larry is to go in there and decide which is the funniest version, what line. That's just so complicated."

Dana praises the show's authenticity, highlighting how the lack of a strict script allows actors to explore their comedic instincts freely.

Dana Carvey [13:16]: "What is the secret? You don't have to tell us here... Tell us if there is, like, one secret."

Memorable Moments and Anecdotes

Larry shares behind-the-scenes stories from both Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. One notable anecdote involves an incident at a Lakers game where Larry unexpectedly ended up sharing a seat with David Spade, leading to humorous frustration.

David Spade [10:39]: "And then you come back and I go... And then you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, well, we're both on big shows."

Another memorable moment involves Larry’s experience hosting a live show while ill, showcasing his resilience and commitment to his craft.

Larry David [47:10]: "Well, they invited you. Invited me to do it again. So I, I guess it wasn't a total bomb..."

Impressions and Jokes

The trio indulges in light-hearted banter, with Dana and Larry demonstrating their comedic talents through impressions and spontaneous jokes. Larry’s impressions of political figures and celebrities add a layer of humor that resonates well with the audience.

Larry David [04:06]: "Now at least you're known as someone that says no."

Dana showcases her knack for character work, performing bits that keep Larry and David laughing throughout the episode.

Dana Carvey [60:31]: "You singing would have been funny."

Interaction with Other Celebrities

Larry recounts an encounter with Paul McCartney, highlighting the amiable nature of the meeting despite its unconventional start. This story underscores Larry’s ability to connect with other icons in the entertainment industry.

Larry David [55:39]: "I said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever been hit in the face with a fist? Has anybody ever punched you?"

Reflections on Show Business

The conversation shifts to the dynamics of showrunning and the challenges of maintaining creative integrity amidst network pressures. Larry discusses the importance of staying true to one’s comedic vision, even when facing external expectations.

Larry David [36:42]: "You didn't even know how to write a sitcom. We'd never done it before."

Dana and David reflect on the competitive nature of podcasting and show business, appreciating the unique camaraderie they share with Larry.

Dana Carvey [63:53]: "It's just like us hanging out. So just new art form of like shooting the rehearsal, doing half baked stuff. We don't have a script."

Final Thoughts and Closing

As the episode wraps up, Larry, Dana, and David express mutual appreciation for each other’s comedic talents and the enjoyable experience of recording the podcast. They highlight the value of humor in navigating the complexities of the entertainment world.

Larry David [64:33]: "You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?"

The hosts conclude by encouraging listeners to follow and subscribe to their podcast, ensuring that fans stay connected for future episodes filled with laughter and insightful conversations.

Notable Quotes:

• Larry David [09:31]: "Yeah, I was there up until '98."
• Larry David [12:29]: "The hard part for Larry is to go in there and decide which is the funniest version, what line. That's just so complicated."
• Dana Carvey [13:16]: "What is the secret? You don't have to tell us here... Tell us if there is, like, one secret."
• David Spade [10:39]: "And then you come back and I go... And then you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, well, we're both on big shows."
• Larry David [47:10]: "Well, they invited you. Invited me to do it again. So I, I guess it wasn't a total bomb..."
• Dana Carvey [60:31]: "You singing would have been funny."
• Larry David [55:39]: "I said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever been hit in the face with a fist? Has anybody ever punched you?"
• Larry David [36:42]: "You didn't even know how to write a sitcom. We'd never done it before."
• Dana Carvey [63:53]: "It's just like us hanging out. So just new art form of like shooting the rehearsal, doing half baked stuff. We don't have a script."
• Larry David [64:33]: "You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?"

Conclusion

This episode offers a comprehensive look into Larry David’s comedic genius, his approach to improvisation, and his experiences in the television industry. Dana Carvey and David Spade create a relaxed yet insightful environment, allowing listeners to gain a deeper understanding of one of comedy’s most influential figures. Whether you’re a fan of Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, or simply appreciate sharp, articulate humor, this episode provides valuable insights and plenty of laughs.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

You gotta love Quince and you know, gotta love it. I'm gonna treat myself to some luxe upgrades. You know they have these lightweight shirts and shorts, David. From $30 pants. Any kind of pants or any kind of occasion. And the main occasion? Yes, the main thing is they have comfortable lounge sets. So you want clothes that you can travel in that feel comfortable. That's all I'm trying to say.

[David Spade]

I like when we're hanging out and you're always talking about which lounge sets you're wearing.

[Dana Carvey]

I love having a good lounge set. And that's where Quince comes in.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

Okay, we got Larry David, one of our favorites that we've been trying to get for a little while. But of course we know he doesn't like to do anything and. But he made it. He came to the house, actually insisted on, drove in.

[Dana Carvey]

We're very flattered. Is one of our the guests we Wanted to always get possibly the most influential comedian or best comedian of the last many years. But, yeah, he had a great sense of humor. I do go off on a few bits. I apologize for that.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I think the crowd will be just as happy as he was. He was laughing so hard. He's a great crowd. We touch on a lot of topics.

[Dana Carvey]

Seinfeld, curb.

[David Spade]

All the usual things, the usual suspects and some other stuff. We sort of jumped around, talked about the 50th, talked about the 40th and now, and talked about the 30th, and we talked about, oh, I did curve, and I walked you through the process, and overall, I think we ended on a real high note. He was laughing pretty hard, so that was a real victory. Enjoy the episode. Yeah, you'll see what happens.

[Dana Carvey]

Always say no. Always say no.

[Larry David]

It's the best, best advice you could give anyone. I was just talking to somebody the other day.

[David Spade]

They.

[Larry David]

They go, why did I say yes to this? Why did I say yes? Everybody goes through that every day.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

People cannot say no. It's so impossible.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, if you're turning down a lot, it's a rhythm thing. No, no, no.

[David Spade]

But at least you're known as someone that says no.

[Dana Carvey]

How many podcasts do you turn down in a year? 300.

[Larry David]

I don't wanna.

[David Spade]

Over a thousand.

[Larry David]

I don't want to sound immodest.

[Dana Carvey]

2000.

[David Spade]

There is. Listen, Nancy Reagan had it right. Just say no. And no one listened.

[Larry David]

Yeah, completely.

[David Spade]

She was right.

[Larry David]

She was talking about drugs.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, can I eat my Reagan?

[David Spade]

He got his Reagan in, by the way, early.

[Larry David]

I'll sit here for an hour and just listen to you.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I like this rhythm. I'll see if you like this Rhyth. Them. It's Reagan dealing with modern enemies. Right. Who are they? What? Tallahoo Banny. What? What they do to who, where, when, how, why? Well, then we have no choice. Fire away with everything we got and then call them and see if they're still there. There. That was it. I made Larry David laugh. I've got.

[Larry David]

I've got one for you that if you can do. I would just. I would ask you to do it every time I saw you. Okay. A younger Biden. Not the old Biden. A younger Biden with that. With that.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't have one of those.

[Larry David]

Baltimore accent.

[Dana Carvey]

I know, I know. Well, that's very specific.

[Larry David]

You know that accent I'm talking about. They did it in that. That series. What was it called with Kate Winslet?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something Mayor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Larry David]

And they had that.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I know.

[Larry David]

It's very. That accent. He's got some of that.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. This never doesn't get a laugh in. Stand up and I'll do it over and over again to the audience.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I'm being serious. And I say to the audience, I will keep doing it until you don't laugh. I'm getting around here.

[Larry David]

Yeah. So see, you're so lucky that you can do that stuff because I don't have jokes. Well, I mean, if. If something you do isn't working, then you just. You make them laugh again. You always have a laugh at your disposal. Most standups don't have that laugh at their disposal.

[David Spade]

It's terrifying to go up and if you don't have a go to something.

[Larry David]

Right.

[David Spade]

Dana's got great stuff. And also you can put a 10% joke in an impression and it's worth.

[Dana Carvey]

100% and just ride the rhythm. I put on my notes. Stay. Stay here. Don't be in a hurry. Stay here. If it says Ross Perot, you're going.

[David Spade]

To do him for Anthony Fauci, president since Calvin Coolidge. He doesn't. The crowd's like, yeah, they freak out.

[Dana Carvey]

But a young Biden, that's a challenge.

[Larry David]

Yeah, you do fdr.

[Dana Carvey]

We know I'm doing jfk. We don't do it because my bid on JFK now is that he needs an AI. Bobby needs an AI. That his. His voice will then go to jfk. His voice.

[Larry David]

Oh, Bobby's.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Because we all sound like Bobby. If we smoke pot in high school. Be like, I can't believe what the pharmaceutical companies are doing. You know, introducing jfk. AI. We understand that the pharmaceutical companies are doing. I'm just going to do this all afternoon.

[Larry David]

Come on. I'm, you know, I'm certainly entertained. I want to take it to listen to. It's.

[Dana Carvey]

Go ahead, see if you can say, we don't do it because it's easy. We do it because it's hard. We're the right age group.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Crickets up here. Yes. So.

[David Spade]

So you're settled in.

[Dana Carvey]

You said? Yes, you're here. Do you need anything?

[Larry David]

I'll open some water here, we got.

[David Spade]

You some of the high fancy water from your writer.

[Dana Carvey]

Has any human performance.

[Larry David]

What about those people who they want like grape jelly or something?

[Dana Carvey]

Have you ever seen your writer? I don't know if you do a lot of standup. Have you ever seen your writer?

[David Spade]

What are you demanding?

[Dana Carvey]

Me neither.

[David Spade]

I feel like yours is a little below JLo, but above Chris Kattan.

[Larry David]

Let's see.

[Dana Carvey]

I've had people in tears coming at me. I'm coming backstage for the gig. We only have three towels.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I don't. We couldn't find triskets.

[Dana Carvey]

I didn't see my writer.

[Larry David]

I don't, you know, I don't like to eat anything at all before I'm going on somewhere.

[Dana Carvey]

Not even a little bit of a bite of chocolate?

[Larry David]

No, nothing.

[David Spade]

You still do stand up. You go out and do like an hour.

[Larry David]

No, last year I did, you know, I was interviewed on stage. On stage?

[David Spade]

Yeah, One of like these things.

[Larry David]

Yeah, yeah. Something like this. Yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

That was the best though, because it's not really.

[Larry David]

Yeah, it's not stand up.

[David Spade]

It's not that hard, right? Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah, I heard before the pandemic. Julie Louise Dreyfus, remember her? You know her? She. She was doing interviews.

[David Spade]

Check out the call sheet, you'll remember.

[Dana Carvey]

She was doing interviews for corporate events. I thought, oh man, that's so nice. 20 minutes with the CEO.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

The question that makes you the happiest. And what's the question that is annoying for you? I think I have an idea.

[Larry David]

I think now the most annoying question is, are you going to do another season? Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. Well, now that we're here.

[David Spade]

Did you just say yes at the end? Meaning you are. You're not, are you? I didn't know that your special was named Curb youb Enthusiasm. Is that true? Your stand up special and then you borrowed that? Yeah. You took that in and was it 2000? Has it been around that long?

[Larry David]

Yeah, 2000.

[David Spade]

And you've had people on Curb that went on to be bigger stars. You actually got them early.

[Larry David]

Yeah. Who?

[David Spade]

I'm asking you? Me?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, that's exciting.

[David Spade]

No, I do have a curve story for you.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

You might have heard it because you were part of it, but Dana, I did. This young man's show was one of the great fun things of life is to be on a show that's fucking hit show. Everyone loves right up, you know, everyone's sensibility. Everyone in the future goes, oh, I want to do a show like Curb. That's the most common thing. I hear it's ten times more complicated than they can probably think. It seems very easy. Looks easy. I think the fun part when I did it was the idea was you. I don't know if you remember this. You did so many, but you wanted tickets to Laker game and you used to work at NBC, so you asked the president of NBC and They have two sets. This is, I think, true. Anyway, so they say, yes, give Larry two tickets. So you go with Jeff and you, you're in the rafters. And then you get the binoculars to see, oh, they have two sets of tickets. And then you go, who's on the floor where we wanted to be? And he's sitting with me.

[Larry David]

Right.

[David Spade]

And so you're like, that motherfucker. Why is Spade down there and why are we up here? I fucking, I was on side. So anyway, we run into you guys leaving and the part that I thought was interesting, I didn't even tell Dana this, but it's like the way I got, the way I remember it was someone comes up to me and you and you. I think we have the Forum or wherever it is, and I think that's how big of a production is. You have that. You have extras. We did some at a real game. I think we used those Endeavor seats or whatever. William Morris. And then so we were at the real game. And then afterwards we get a bunch of extras to stay. And so we were leaving. So me and that president of NBC are leaving and Larry's coming out with Jeff and they come up to me and they go, you're going to run into him. So be apologetic. Something like that. It was just an idea. No lines. And then they, I go, and what's Larry doing? They go, you'll find out. So then you guys decide what you want to do. Obviously you decide. And so we come in and we have like a five minute talk where I'm like, oh, sorry. Cause you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, I don't want to be a part of this. Whatever, whatever. Then they go, cut. And then they come back and they go, this one. Defend yourself. And it's so funny because you have five seconds. So I'm like, well, whatever happens, and I don't know what you're going to do. And then you're like, why would he be there? I'm like, well, we both were on big shows. And you're like, well, I was on Seinfeld. I go, well, listen, we're both top 10 shows. We're both. It's kind of a push. And you're like, a push. Just shoot me. Was the same as. So anyway, it just makes for a fun, real fake argument. Whatever, whatever. And then they did like one or two more of different things. Was a blast.

[Dana Carvey]

David.

[Larry David]

It's.

[David Spade]

It's very interesting, honestly, for people to know that. Because the hard part for Larry is to Go in there and decide which is the funniest version, what line. That's just so complicated.

[Dana Carvey]

The greatest part I love is when I can tell that you or the great Richard Lewis or Jeff Garland, you're not sure you're doing a take because you're just talking, and you might use it, you might not. I mean, it's the absolute opposite of a traditional, you know. You know, Larry Sanders was the first that I had an experience like that.

[Larry David]

I. First of all, I would. I never would have done a show if I had to memorize lines.

[Dana Carvey]

Smart.

[David Spade]

It's too hard.

[Larry David]

It's. It's. I don't. I don't like it, and I'm not really an actor. And you have to be. You have to be an actor to memorize lines. I suppose I could do it, but it wouldn't be fun here. I'm kind of making it up as we're going along, and. I don't know, it's just. I just laugh my way through 12 seasons.

[Dana Carvey]

I know that it's infectious to watch. You know, the last 20 years, I don't think I've ever gone to any kind of meeting about any kind of show where, you know it's going to be like Curb or we're thinking like a Curb. Has anyone even landed close to the sensibility? And what is the secret? You don't have to tell us here. You can cut this part out. Tell us if there is, like, one secret.

[David Spade]

Tell us who's done it poorly first.

[Dana Carvey]

Who's doing it?

[Larry David]

I don't even know who's doing it.

[Dana Carvey]

The only thing I can think of is Larry Sanders in the 90s had a sense of three cameras going at all times, 16 millimeters. And Gary'd say, you do this kind of. Or say something like this, you know.

[Larry David]

Oh, they improvise a lot, at least.

[Dana Carvey]

When I was there. But. But I don't think it was quite like yours, where, like, you're so improvised. Whatever you have, it's working. Don't even.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Hey, are you going to do another season?

[David Spade]

Is there anybody you asked to do Curb that didn't do it like some star that you wanted?

[Larry David]

I. I think there were some people who were just. Weren't down with the idea of improvising.

[David Spade]

Yeah, some are, like. To do the lines. They're. They'd be more comfortable.

[Larry David]

Yeah, more comfortable.

[David Spade]

It's hard to make lines your own. That's hard when you're doing shows and movies. That's why they sometimes feel stiff, because if you can just Play off what's happening at that second. And the attitude. That's way more fun. It is hard to do, though.

[Larry David]

I mean, the worst thing that actors did on the show is if they would try to be funny.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Are they coming, going, I'm trying to.

[Larry David]

Come up with, like, funny lines?

[Dana Carvey]

Not. No.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

The hardest part I've seen, even on, like, for Adam and Sandler and those movies, is a lot of people that come on that have never worked with them, first of all, proclaim their funniness, which is always a red flag. And then they come up and say, I had some ideas for the scene and it's for you to be the creator and you can't blame anyone else. And you have to say no. So when they come to you and go, larry, I thought I'd play it more. I got a guy that talks like this and you gotta go, oh, fuck. Can you just. Don't do that. It's a hard position to be in.

[Larry David]

No, it's very easy.

[David Spade]

Okay. I was trying to help you a little bit.

[Larry David]

It's not hard at all. No, that's the. That's not good. Don't do that.

[Dana Carvey]

I've got two.

[David Spade]

And they would slink away and go.

[Larry David]

Sometimes. Sometimes at auditions, actors would. Would try and cry. I go, oh, God, no.

[Dana Carvey]

Stop.

[Larry David]

No, no.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, man. I. The two metrics now never have a line that's written that someone has to say. And don't anybody ever be caught trying to be funny unless the character is trying to be funny.

[Larry David]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

Different. But none of that winking. It's a real Rubicon. You can really feel it in sitcoms when it just pushed.

[David Spade]

I like. It's good.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm just saying, I'm a fan.

[David Spade]

The stuff that's played like in a wide shot is always good. Sometimes you get on a movie and they go weird. Dana and I talk about this. You get too locked into two shot, one shot, pushing, pushing. And you're losing all the momentum and all the fun of it, and it looks too stiff back forth. But sometimes it's nice. Those old Woody Allens or whatever, Even Tarantino in a wide shot, just two people talking, looks real. You've got to figure out where to look instead of going, look here, look there. We got it, we got it. We've seen it.

[Larry David]

The Woody Allen thing is a little scary because I did. I did.

[David Spade]

Oh, you did a couple.

[Dana Carvey]

What was the name of that movie?

[David Spade]

It's a Couple, Dana.

[Larry David]

Yeah, Woody Allen. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I did one once upon.

[David Spade]

He doesn't remember.

[Larry David]

And, you know, because he does these take. You got to get it all in one and the whole take, I'm going, I got four more lines to go. I'm not comfortable at all because I. You can't make a mistake. There's no cutting.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

After my first take, the first day of filming, after the first take, he comes up to me and he goes, not terrible. And now I use that every time somebody asked me, yeah, how you doing? I go, not terrible.

[David Spade]

Yeah, that's a good medium. Place to be.

[Dana Carvey]

Robert Mitchum told me that the guy who played Tarzan, because Robert Mitchum was a guest host. Who's the host? Snl. I go, hey, how you doing today? He goes, worse. I go, worse. Why do you say worse? I think it was Lex Bar, some guy who played Tarzan. He came out of his trailer, said, I feel great, and then did a header, you know, so ever since then, he just says worse.

[Larry David]

That's. I love that.

[David Spade]

You know, Dana, I saw Mindy Kaling the other night at this little shindig and it made me think. She does a masterclass, you know, that's one of our sponsors. And it reminded me, masterclass can really help you. Like, they have great people on there.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, absolutely.

[David Spade]

You know what I mean?

[Dana Carvey]

That's a great.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, they're great. I love the way they're laid out. They're all like eight, ten minute videos. It's part of the class. Very simple. You see the person. Yeah. Develop your comedic voice. I, Mindy Klin, would absolutely be great at that. The classes make a difference. Get this. David, just give me a second. 88 of members feel that Masterclass has made a positive impact on their lives.

[David Spade]

88% very believable. You know, if I'm. If you want to learn something about pretty much anything, you just go on on there and look around and say, it doesn't have to be about movies or anything like stupid stuff we do, but, you know, you can say, I want to learn how to do this.

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Larry David]

Oh.

[David Spade]

You did tough guys. Is that the one?

[Dana Carvey]

I did so much. I was so bad, it's. I have a hall of fame. So bad I can't say lines 175 times between all the takes and all the close ups. And by 4 in the afternoon, you first said the lines at 7:00am and by 5:00, it's not even English.

[David Spade]

Going in tight on Dana.

[Larry David]

You guys got some heads of hair on you, the two of you.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, best hair money combined.

[Larry David]

When did you know? Did you ever think like, oh, I'm gonna have all of my hair for the rest of my life? Did that, did that thought occurred to you at some point?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes, I had a pretty good head of hair. First of all, it went way up in these corners that are covered right now. When I was in my 20s. So I went to a barber. He goes, it's, you're gonna be gone by 30.

[Larry David]

What? Really?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Barber got it. You saw it going back, but it went back and then it stopped.

[Larry David]

Wow. Very rare.

[Dana Carvey]

And then.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And then I do take a little finasteride.

[Larry David]

What's that?

[David Spade]

I'm sorry? It's stuff that keeps formaldehyde. What does that do?

[Dana Carvey]

Keeps your hair in your head.

[Larry David]

Really?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. Matthew McConaughey does it. All right, all right.

[Larry David]

Dude.

[David Spade]

I grew up, I put motor oil, everything I could find, I threw in my hair. Just trying every trick in the book. It's so horrible.

[Dana Carvey]

But let me just explain that because we'll get letters. Old fashioned parlance. Dosage matters with any med you take. I had this woman, she was trying to do super vegan and she was amazing. She was 87. I go, you could have some salmon. Oh, no, I can't. Well, I tried a statin and I had terrible side effects. Would you ever think of taking a lower dose? Ask your doctor. So she lowered the dose, took her cholesterol down, no side effects. So the same thing with finasteride. People were popping it like candy. Then they had sexual side effects, depression. You just need a little bit to keep the hair in your head and it will grow.

[Larry David]

You had to give her that advice. What the doctor couldn't tell her that.

[David Spade]

She couldn't read the back of the bottle.

[Dana Carvey]

Doctors are not really. Most of them are just high school seniors that have a lab coat on. They don't know anything. Most of them. They're terrible. I mean, right? I mean, do you.

[Larry David]

What doctors? Yeah, I still have great faith in.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Dana.

[Dana Carvey]

Interesting.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I look at you.

[Larry David]

They're doctors, Dana. Doctors.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. I used to bow down. We were talking about to a contractor or a landscape architect. We'll put a big tree right in the middle of the grass. Why? Well, you need it. No, you don't.

[Larry David]

Well, you know, you can never have a doctor as a friend because you'll lose all confidence. You see, they're so human. How could you?

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Larry David]

You know, you're kind of stupid, actually, in life.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you can read the same stuff they're reading. You can read nih, you can read Harvard, whatever. You can read everything the doctors.

[Larry David]

You can. Why are you reading that?

[Dana Carvey]

I do. I do.

[Larry David]

You do A lot.

[Dana Carvey]

If I have an issue of something. Yeah, I'll look it up.

[David Spade]

I have stain of a.

[Dana Carvey]

Don't you ever research stuff?

[Larry David]

I don't want to read anything medical. It'll just scare me. I never. I never look at anything medical.

[David Spade]

When you do get this, when you go to the doctor, they talk about everything jokey except for what's wrong with you. Like, they come in, how's it going? What's been going on? You've been on the road. I'm like, I've been sitting here for 49 minutes waiting, and I know I've got a six minute window with you. Like, let's get to the stuff. And then there we end the last second. Oh, right. Bend over and stick a finger in your ass. Okay, sorry. I almost forgot that part.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you ever do a prostate exam joke?

[Larry David]

No.

[David Spade]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

I didn't think you would.

[David Spade]

I thought you were talking to me.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah. The cheesiest one that always gets. I don't do. I've never done one. I've never written one. But what the one that made me laugh the most was. Look, Ma, no hands.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, that's a stock joke. It wasn't mine.

[David Spade]

Yeah, no, the. The. The joke that you try to bury into real life is when I was playing the Mirage. I go, david Copperfield was in the steam room. I milked out so long. And they go, he was in the steam room. And I go, yeah. And he's sitting next to me, but his towel slid off. He was Just sitting there weird. And he goes, hey, I. He goes, I go, can you do magic now that you have nothing here? And he goes, yeah. And I go, it's not real. And he goes, all right. Quickly he goes, get up. He gets behind me and he goes, all right, do you feel my thumb in your ass? And I go, yeah. And he goes, ta da. Reaches around me. So it was sort of magic.

[Dana Carvey]

That's funny. Did you ever do a Hitler joke? You do a lot of Hitler jokes. I'm not talking about the editorial, but just because everyone has a Hitler joke. What's your best Hitler joke?

[Larry David]

I did, I used to do one in Stand up. It had to do with. About Hitler going to a magic show that's already funny.

[David Spade]

Anything Hitler does.

[Larry David]

And he goes backstage after and he's very insistent on finding out where the rabbit is. And you know, magicians have. Magicians have a code. They. They don't. They can't tell how the tricks are done.

[David Spade]

Right.

[Larry David]

And it was going, where's the rabbit? I'm very curious. Where's the rabbit? And he goes, well, mein Fuhrer, you know, we. We not really allowed to code amongst me. Yes, yes, yes. But there is the rabbit. It was something like that. I forgot the rest of it.

[David Spade]

Where was it?

[Dana Carvey]

Did you do that in the 99 Special?

[Larry David]

I did, yes.

[Dana Carvey]

I remembered it, yeah. Do you have a Hitler joke?

[David Spade]

You know, write one. I don't think I have one because. Oh, you know, I did have a book when I did my first book. Oh, A Couple People remember. Thank you. Is it was. I used a picture of me when I was 5 years old. My mom had me a little blue suit with white hair down to here. And it was a weird shot down on me in front of my old apartments. And I'm just standing so stiffly that I said, what if we call the book Mr. Hitler? We'll see you now. Because I was like a five year old kid, looked like a little Aryan. And it got universally no. So. And I'm kind of glad because I sort of skim over stuff. I'm from Arizona. We were never into religion. We were never into many things that could be very offensive. And so we joked about everything. Racism, all this. So sometimes I would stumble in my act and say things too far and someone would pull me aside and say, I wouldn't say that anymore. And I wouldn't know how deep these things went or hit. And I'd be like, okay. So it took me a while, even on that one. It was a little late in the Game. But to even say I should do that. But Hitler gets thrown around, and it just. It offends too many people. I'm not Jewish.

[Dana Carvey]

I did a Hitler bit. I was doing a benefit for Cedars Sinai Cardiology Department, and I did a Hitler bit. A guy had actually put a stent. My chest goes, do you know where you are? You know? And I. Do you want to hear it?

[David Spade]

Yeah, go.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not a bit. It's an observation. Because I thought, I don't have any original observation about Hitler. And then I thought of one, and I want you to tell me you've never heard it before, hopefully, or you've heard it before. All we do is see Hitler throughout history. History, screaming. We never see him talking normal. He. We do this for a living. He must be exhausted backstage. Just wiped out. Almost effeminate. Oh, him. I can't feel my deltoid. Whoever said to do this, shoot him.

[David Spade]

He gets off stage and goes, the heads is the green room. And he's like, they were good. They were pretty good. But just exhausted.

[Dana Carvey]

Hitler, Langeris.

[Larry David]

Yeah, that's great.

[Dana Carvey]

Don't fat shame yourself. I have a cookie. I eat it. I put the plate down. You have a good cookie, your brain throws a party. You have a hundred cookies. So he breaks down, you know, addiction to carbohydrates.

[Larry David]

That's funny.

[David Spade]

Okay, Hitler's green room. What's on his rider? All right. I look at my notes. There's literally no notes to ask anything. It's too. Go ahead, Dana, whatever you got.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I know this will make you happy. Jalen Bronson Brunson.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

New York Knicks.

[Larry David]

Yes. Yes. Right in the throat.

[Dana Carvey]

Stephen a. Smith and LeBron. Who would win if they went? Because we. We think we know. But Stephen A. Smith isn't tiny. I mean, I would get snapped in half by LeBron.

[Larry David]

Hey, Stephen A. Smith would get snapped in half. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

LeBron is a beast, man.

[Larry David]

It's unbelievable.

[Dana Carvey]

What is he doing?

[Larry David]

I don't know. He's 40 years old. It's just incredible. Crazy what he's doing.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

If I had that money, I think, and he's already, like, such a perfect specimen athlete. I don't know what I would do. I don't know what. I would obviously pour it back into. Trying to stay alive. Top 100. I look at Brad Pitt and I go, I don't know what's going on, but if something. No one's going to get to regular Brad Pitt. He looks even better now. I'm like, that. That's like cheating, because he could have been fine skating along. And if he did say, I don't say he did because mostly just jealousy and anger. But if he did something, I'm flying to that guy and just saying, do whatever you got to do. Because someone told me on my comments, it looks like I slept on my face. And those sting, Larry. You're supposed to let them go. And.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you look kind of the same. Yeah, you look so, like, 45 years. Because when did your, your hair. But when did it go white? How old?

[Larry David]

It probably started in my, probably in my late 30s. Wow.

[Dana Carvey]

That was a joke. No, but Steve Martin, the same thing.

[David Spade]

You look. He looks kind of this, like 12.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm working on this baby face with bangs. I'm gonna be 70.

[David Spade]

Keep the hair messy.

[Larry David]

Really? You're gonna be 70 in a month?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. Thank you, Larry. Wow. For being surprised.

[Larry David]

Isn't that a great compliment when people are surprised when you tell them your age?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. Yeah, it is. But when you tell them, eventually you say, I'm going to be 70amonth ago. Oh, you're like, really? I just don't know. Yeah. Can I get up? Really? Andy Samberg said you're gonna be 70. I go, thank you, Andy.

[Larry David]

That's a great compliment.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, I have something you may not have heard before. Tell me if you have. Carol Leifer was on our show.

[Larry David]

Okay.

[Dana Carvey]

And she talked about you and Jerry, the dynamic. And she said you're John Lennon and, and Jerry is Paul McCartney. Have you heard that before? You probably have heard it.

[Larry David]

I, I've heard it. It's quite ridiculous, but I've heard it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, but, but then it makes you unpack it a little bit in your brain. Like, well, wait a minute. How my Strawberry Fields and he's Penny Lane. Both geniuses.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Not bad.

[Larry David]

Yeah. I, I, I don't, I don't. I think I have a feeling our dynamic was maybe not fraught with the friction that theirs was.

[Dana Carvey]

So I asked Paul McCartney about it. He said, well, the difference was, you know, they were doing comedy and we were doing, we were doing strumming and singing. So it's a different thing. The analogy doesn't quite fit. You know, Larry David looks the same for the last 40 years. I go, I totally agree.

[David Spade]

Paul, were you on CBS Radford lot? Yeah, that's right. I think we were there the same time. Honestly. I think just shoot me, Will and Grace.

[Larry David]

I was there up until 98.

[David Spade]

What was the call sheet? What was the order of the cast?

[Larry David]

Have no idea. Larry never Looked at it. Tell me, you mean the Seinfeld call sheet, Jerry? Honest to God, I never looked at it once.

[David Spade]

What do you think it was, Dana?

[Dana Carvey]

I assume it have to be Jerry.

[David Spade]

And then we'll keep going.

[Larry David]

I mean, it's a good question. I never.

[David Spade]

Four in a row.

[Larry David]

I never looked at it.

[Dana Carvey]

Julie Louise, dress number two.

[David Spade]

She was probably bigger name, right?

[Larry David]

Well, Jason. Julie wasn't in the pilot. Jason was in the pilot.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh.

[David Spade]

He might have inched ahead and leaned at the tape and got to number two.

[Dana Carvey]

I was not an early adopter. I was being wind and dined by NBC to do the Letterman slot. Warren Littlefield and having lunch with him.

[Larry David]

You mean a talk show host?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, they want.

[Larry David]

You're going to be, you're going to be a host on, on television.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I, I know it seems amazing.

[David Spade]

He'd be great.

[Dana Carvey]

It wouldn't work at all. This is my first degree.

[Larry David]

Well, maybe, maybe if you had David as, as the co host by Andy Richter.

[Dana Carvey]

No, but, but basically they said, you know, we have this, this new show, I think only four had been made or something. It's called Seinfeld. We think it might be. It's going to be really big. And they told me about it and who was in it and I just thought to myself, oh boy, that's not gonna happen. That doesn't sound like a winner.

[Larry David]

Yeah, I, I agree with that. Well, whatever I'm involved in, I never thought would work. So. No, I thought it would be gone very quickly. I, I had, I was just doing it for the pilot. I would do a pilot, get paid for the pilot.

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Larry David]

And then that was, that would be it.

[David Spade]

Yeah. The chance of pilots going are so slim especially. And you're coming off SNL then, was that SNL to that?

[Larry David]

So SNL was 8485.

[Dana Carvey]

How'd that go?

[Larry David]

Oh, swimmingly.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you, you made up for just.

[David Spade]

Shows that you just don't know. You need the right situation or whatever because for you not to do great on that show and then you go off and do. Some people do that, they have trouble there and they go off and do great.

[Larry David]

I didn't really, it didn't really bother me that much. I got one sketch on for the not great season. For the season. Yeah, I got one sketch on. It's like. And it reminded me a bit of a stand up in a way when I would, I'd be waiting to go on and then, I don't know, somebody famous would come in and I'd get bumped and bumped Again. And. And I was actually glad I got bumped because I didn't want to go on anyway. I was happy. I was happy not to go on. And so. I don't know. Writers made such a big deal about if their sketch was going to be on. I didn't really care that much. It didn't really bother me.

[David Spade]

Well, when I was there writing, all I cared about was getting picked up again for the next year because. Just no money. So I just don't want to look like an asshole. And they'd call Kurvitz and Brad Gray and go. Lauren would go, I don't know. We may bring them back. So I'd have to get rid of my apartment. And every. Every year I did that. And then I. Dre, there wasn't doordash ladies. It was drag your part, you know, your mattress down the stairs, and then you gotta re. Put your part. My apartment was like a bed, a desk, anything I could just literally carry. And then two months later, we'll bring them back. And then I'm like, so I gotta go move back, find an apartment. It's so dumb. But they like to keep you on the edge of your seat there.

[Dana Carvey]

So you didn't have Lauren? Lauren was not.

[David Spade]

Oh, you didn't have Lauren.

[Larry David]

No, I didn't have Lauren.

[David Spade]

Oh, I was just doing a impression. It was a 10 out of 10, unfortunately. You didn't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, no, he's hosted twice.

[Larry David]

I knew you were doing Lauren. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

It was a very subtle, you know, Dick Ebersol.

[Dana Carvey]

It was too real. It's kind of a sporting event. Someone said about snl, it's rock and roll, it's loud. I mean, there are subtle. Jack Handy used to do his deep thoughts, and there are subtle sketches. It's funny, but I think I heard that you and Jerry just said, for sure, at this point, we're just going to do the show for ourselves. We're not going to try to project what the network or even the audience will like. That's what I felt. That Seinfeld, you know.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

That's why.

[Larry David]

Yeah, that's what we did.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. So.

[David Spade]

Yeah, but you were.

[Larry David]

I remember we went out to dinner very early on, and I. And I. I said, I. I can't believe. How are they letting us do this? I was shocked.

[David Spade]

Were the audiences biting on it, though? It was in front of an audience. Yeah, they were biting. So you thought, well, something's working here.

[Larry David]

Seem like it.

[David Spade]

Because when we were doing ours, I like to keep comparing, like, they're the Exact same. When we were doing or any, any sitcom, they would do it and then it would get a medium laugh. And then we liked it all week. The people that we thought were funny to each other and then they go, listen, the, you know, the youth prisoners that they bust in for the show aren't biting on this one, so let's dumb it down a little bit. And then I go, well, let's not wind up with the one that these guys like because we believed in these jokes. And then they're scrambling and trying stuff. I'm like, then I don't even know what winds up on the show. But you go, you can't do that. Like it's better to have something where you just pick it and say, this is our style, this is our vibe.

[Dana Carvey]

Like it, it was new and we've gone through Cheers, Mary Tyler Moore, mash, all these brilliant sitcoms, half hour shows, and all of a sudden there's a show with a puffy jacket or a suit Nazi. It just was instantly a different sensibility when I saw it. And I saw at least 13 of them, I don't know how many I've seen, but.

[Larry David]

We didn't even know how to write a sitcom. We'd never done it before.

[David Spade]

You didn't have that good, you didn't.

[Dana Carvey]

Know how to do a bad one.

[Larry David]

And there was no, there was no writer's room.

[David Spade]

Oh, really?

[Larry David]

Yeah, we didn't have a writer's room. Who wrote?

[David Spade]

Well, we knew some SNL people that wrote on there, but was it, I heard the idea was people would walk into a cold, like, freezer room and then it was you sitting there in a chair in the dark and they would pitch.

[Larry David]

And then I was always very nice.

[David Spade]

If you didn't like it, you would hear shame and they'd walk out. But they said it was, they make it more than it is. They probably because they go, we'd have to wait. And then we go in and pitch. And then Larry would just shake us.

[Dana Carvey]

And they, you're, you have a big laugh. And so they loved it. If they could make, oh, if you could, if they could make Larry laugh in the pitch.

[Larry David]

I, I, I was always very nice to everyone who came in.

[David Spade]

I could imagine you're a good crowd right now. You're just, you're very open. When I see you out in the world, I don't see that much. But you always seem very loose and friendly and there's no people, I think people think of this curmudgeon thing that's like a Little because it's in the show.

[Larry David]

That's. No, that's me. This is, this is the act. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Do more people talk to you? What do they talk to you about? In order they know, is it Seinfeld or is it curb or is it something else now?

[Larry David]

Yeah, well, now it's Curb.

[David Spade]

Just curb all the time. Curb, curb, curb. Seinfeld. Curb, Curb, Seinfeld. As a small biz owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early. This is very true. Your business is on your mind 24 7. So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds it out just as hard as you do. That hiring partner is LinkedIn Jobs. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. LinkedIn makes it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I think when you're trying to hire someone there's a lot of different things you're looking for, but you want them to kind of have your, your aesthetic, your sensibility. If you were, you could look up those words. David.

[David Spade]

Sure.

[Dana Carvey]

And that's hard to have a chemistry and match. So LinkedIn is, is going to try to shorten that for that process for you and make sure you.

[David Spade]

Everyone's heard of LinkedIn. I mean, that's why, because it's been around forever, people really like it. New feature can help you write job descriptions and then quickly get your job right in front of the right people with deep candidate insights. Either post your job for free, you can pay to bump it up and promote it. Promoted jobs get three times more qualified applicants.

[Dana Carvey]

At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality quality of candidates. With LinkedIn you can feel confident that you're getting the best. David.

[David Spade]

Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of SMBs using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find the high quality candidates. Share it with your network. Let your network know you're hiring. You can even add a hiring frame to your profile. Get two times more qualified candidates. You didn't know that trick? Post your job for [e-mail] candidates. That's LinkedIn.com candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions do apply. Listen, make this your best season yet with nutritious 2 minute meals from factor. Eating well has never been this easy. What you do is you just heat it up, eat it, give you more time to do what you want. Listen, you got to get outside instead of prepping and cooking indoors. Factor Meals arrive fresh and ready to eat. Perfect for any active lifestyle. You got, I don't know, 45 weekly menu options. That's a lot.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah. And you can pick gourmet meals that fit your goals, David. Choose. Get this from Calorie Smart, protein plus, keto, and more.

[David Spade]

Yeah, I'd probably go protein plus, but factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast on the go, lunches, premium dinners, guilt free snacks and desserts. You're always feeling guilty about everything, Dana, but you just, you eat them and you don't think about it.

[Dana Carvey]

I know you tear up whenever you have like a popsicle, but my point is popsicle, it's easy to savor more this spring. Factor meals pack in the flavor with none of the fuss.

[David Spade]

Zero fuss. Listen, that's the way I like it. Get [e-mail] fly 50 off and use code fly50OFF the five zero. That's 50 off plus free shipping on your first box.

[Dana Carvey]

That's code [e-mail] 550 off for 50 off plus free shipping. Was Jerry ever like Jerry?

[David Spade]

Good question.

[Dana Carvey]

Being sort of a stoic, you know, he doesn't like people being neurotic and creating problems. Because I've gotten to know him a little bit. I did comedians and cars and stuff. And so then I realized when he is abrupt about that, he's really slightly annoyed that someone would create a problem, you know, out of nothing. So he would just. I'd say, I don't know about my act. I don't. How do you write new jokes? Just write them. You know, he's like, you know. And at first I was like, is this guy aggressive? No. He doesn't like neurotic comedians going, I don't want to play that club. Don't play it. I mean, does he like that with you? I mean, once I understood where he was coming from, we had him in here and it was. I totally got it. He does not like problems that don't need to exist. And he just.

[David Spade]

No, yeah. I like this stance. When I said he doesn't do that many specials. And I said, all the comics now, they do a special for an hour and then they have to throw away the material. And he goes, why do they have to throw it away? I go, I don't want to throw it. I go, I have stuff, it takes so long to sharpen it and get it to fucking work. And when I go on the road, they want to see a show that works. I don't want to start from scratch. And he goes, listen. He talks to me like I'm a child. He goes, listen, don't throw it away. He goes, do the jokes at work. He goes, people think they have too many jokes that work. He said, when you boil it down, every great comic probably has an hour 15 in their whole career. That's just killers. And I think Leno's like that, too. They just boil down to, like, get what works and do it. And if some of them are great jokes, it's like songs I like that I like when someone does something I like, especially a comic, I go, this is my favorite one. I'm glad they're doing it. I don't want to see, because specials get watered down over time. And I'm like, ah, another one. What the fuck? What do you got left in the time.

[Dana Carvey]

There's two jokes of Jerry that still stick with me that are. One was, the moose gets lifted out of Alaska and it's up in the sky and it wakes up and what. What does the moose think? I guess I can fly now. I just thought that was a great one. And then the eulogy one. You know, the eulogy one.

[Larry David]

What's that one?

[Dana Carvey]

The number one fear of human beings are. Is public speaking. So at any funeral, the person giving the eulogy would rather be in the casket. It's a great joke.

[Larry David]

That's good.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. So you had a great partner, and he had.

[Larry David]

Yeah, we had. We had a great time.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. But you'll be remembered for Curb. My point is this. No, I don't.

[David Spade]

Curb an impression.

[Dana Carvey]

Do an impression. You did Bernie Sanders.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. What's your memory? I just did Biden. Where I was. I don't know.

[Larry David]

So there was a debate in 2000. The election was 2016.

[Dana Carvey]

And Bernie was running, Hillary was running.

[Larry David]

Yeah. So there was a debate. And then I think it was probably. I think the debate was 2015.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

And I'd never. And so I'm. When Bernie Sanders started to talk, everything he was saying, I would repeat. I don't know if you ever do that. Sometimes all of a sudden, because he sounded so familiar to me, because we're both from Brooklyn.

[Dana Carvey]

Right.

[Larry David]

That I was able, in a way, to just tap into, you know, the way he talked.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

And. And he would say something, and I would repeat it. And then. Then my. My agent called me when the debate was over just to talk about it. Ari Emanuel. He said, did you see that? I said. And I said, of course I saw it. What do you think? And he goes, okay, I'm calling Lorne Michaels.

[David Spade]

Perfect.

[Larry David]

Five minutes later, Lorne is on the phone with Ari. And that was on a Tuesday. And on Saturday, I'm doing the show.

[David Spade]

Oh, how fun.

[Dana Carvey]

So you have the 84 experience, then all of a sudden, 2015, you come on, you do Bernie, and it is a smash. I mean, it's like, oh, my God, of course. Larry Davis.

[David Spade]

No fun.

[Dana Carvey]

And you killed. Must have been fun.

[Larry David]

It was fun.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Because everything you said, you gotta laugh.

[Larry David]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Did you go to the 50th? You went to the 40th? You did a lot in the 40th?

[Larry David]

I thought I was. I did, yeah. I was in the. I went to the 40th and I was in the audience, and I did some bit. In the audience.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Larry David]

And the 50th. I went, but I didn't do anything. But I got sick at both of them.

[David Spade]

Okay, good.

[Larry David]

The 40.

[Dana Carvey]

Given the COVID in 2015, what would.

[Larry David]

You get sick in 2015? I got sick at the 40th.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

And I was doing a play at the time, and I was. I had to do the play with like, 102 temperature. 102 temperature, you know, Ouch. Because you got to go on.

[David Spade]

It's so gross to be like, I gotta go on.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Larry David]

And then. And then I got sick again at the. At the 50th. Got the flu.

[David Spade]

I think, you know, something must be there. When I hosted last time, I got sick during dress, the worst fucking anxiety riddle time in the middle of a sketch. They go, come on, come on. And I stood up. I was in like a UPS outfit. And I go. And then I sat back down on the set, and they go, come on. The band's like, ba, ba, ba. You got 90 seconds. And I go, I don't feel good. And I laid down on the floor, and everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? So they walk me to the dressing room, put me in the bathroom. I lay on the floor, and the audience is still there.

[Larry David]

Wow.

[David Spade]

So they. It was the last sketch. They just wrapped and they let everyone out. And then they're pounding on the door going. And I hear him going, if he doesn't come out, we're gonna have to put a rerun on. We gotta tell NBC. And I'm laying on the floor sweating. I don't know if I was food poisoning. Then I started barfing. And then I just sat there in my UPS uniform going, there couldn't be more stress already. You're sick. And everyone, including Lauren Is behind the door going, are we doing this? It's fine if we're not. We just have to. And so I finally get the door and I go, I mean, I can try. And then they go, all right, let's pull the rerun. Let's just try it. And wow. I started to feel a little better and I got some food in me and I was like, I don't know what happened. I got the whammy and then I did a good solid 70% I gave. And the guy in the UPS sketch, the writer, I could see him in the back going, yeah, you're a real fucking hero. Because obviously that sketch got cut because I don't think I even finished it. You know what I mean?

[Larry David]

The thing about it, when I was doing it and I was sick and I remember thinking during the middle of it, I don't feel sick, I don't. Something.

[David Spade]

Yeah, your adrenaline, maybe.

[Dana Carvey]

That's remarkable. I felt like Fraser in the 15th round last time I hosted. Like, really now? Can I do this? And the same thing. Just pass out once you get out there. The applause, the laughs. I mean, you're hosting was good experiences or is it not really?

[Larry David]

Yeah, it was okay. It was okay.

[Dana Carvey]

Did Lauren give you a thumbs up or what did Lauren say to you?

[Larry David]

Well, they invited you. Invited me to, to do it again. So I, I guess it wasn't a total bomb, but I had, you know, the hardest part was having to prepare a monologue.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Larry David]

Because I hadn't been on in a long time.

[David Spade]

Expect the world from you.

[Larry David]

So I had, I had to write a monologue and then do it in different clubs.

[David Spade]

Oh, you had to go out?

[Larry David]

Yeah, that was, that's a lot.

[Dana Carvey]

Just do Q and A with the, with the, with the cast.

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, that's the fake out.

[Dana Carvey]

You singing would have been funny.

[Larry David]

Y. Yeah.

[David Spade]

In a club they go, we have a guest here, Larry, Dave. And you walk up, so dogs are funny. And everyone's like, what's he doing?

[Larry David]

And then a half hour before the show, at 11 o'clock, I was called up to Lauren's office and the sensor was there.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh.

[Larry David]

And the sensor said that I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this bit.

[David Spade]

Oh, at 11?

[Larry David]

Yeah, at 11 o'clock off. And they're in two bits they didn't want me to do.

[David Spade]

Oh, come on.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, please.

[Larry David]

And then why not?

[David Spade]

Well, the other one, whatever, you know.

[Larry David]

I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, I gotta, I'm gonna do it.

[David Spade]

You're not Gonna do it.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you said you're gonna, so I.

[Larry David]

Said, no, I'm gonna.

[David Spade]

Oh, you said you're gonna do it. Yeah.

[Larry David]

And I can't. I said, I can't. I have to do it.

[David Spade]

You have nothing.

[Larry David]

And I go, yeah. I go, what? Why is it offensive? I don't get it. Who's going to be offended by this? Lauren Lorne, after five minutes of this, said, I. I can't. I can't do him. But he said, like he said to the censor, I don't think you're gonna win this one. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Oh, he said to the censor, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't think you're gonna win this one.

[Larry David]

Yeah, that's exactly it.

[David Spade]

Let's get Larry to make up.

[Dana Carvey]

Like, you know, you can only take so much from a Larry.

[David Spade]

Dave, we've wasted Larry's time enough. Let him go down, check his celebrity.

[Dana Carvey]

Net worth, and you'll see that he truly is.

[David Spade]

You know, when I. When I host a great story about me, we can cut this out. We already did. No, I had. When I hosted, I had. It was. Sandler was in my trick monologue. I'm only telling you this because it's kind of similar to where he's the audience member, but he's playing a goofy guy that he used to do. So he was there that weekend. He goes, I'll come and we'll do that. That'll be your monologue. So I can worry about the 13 sketches that are about to bomb. And so that morning Saturday, they say, Adam goes, I gotta Waterboy open that weekend big. And he had to fly back to la. And he goes, I can't do it, pal. I was like, oh, shit. So I couldn't cover it because it was his character. And I'm like, what's my monologue? And then we're like, okay, rehearsal. And I'm like. And going, guys, I gotta get a monologue. One of the breaks. And they go. And everyone does just do standup. But I hadn't done it for a while, and I definitely hadn't done a club or anything. So there's no practice, which you need a little. Even when we were at the 50th, I just did a set with Chris Rock and Nate Bragazzi just for fun. Cause we were out having dinner. And they go, oh, Mulaney and Steve Martin and Martin Short were just here doing standup. They all came in, everyone did a set. Just like everyone bumped Super Fun Night. But I don't get to do that. So I just Go, Oh, I have this one in my act about a polar bear, and I bought this other one. And then they go, just do that. So the only time I rehearsed it was at dress, or right before dress, you know, to try it, but I couldn't really remember it all. And then I had to sit in my dressing room and go, how does that one go? So scary. It went, all right, but I know the monologue.

[Larry David]

It's all, how come you didn't get them on cards?

[David Spade]

I got it. Oh, because I had to tell cards what to put, and I just said, just forget it. Just put monkey joke, polar bear.

[Larry David]

Oh, okay.

[David Spade]

And go to a commercial when I start fucking crying.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't like stand up either. I mean, honestly, if anytime a show was canceled, I was happy.

[Larry David]

You're happy, right?

[Dana Carvey]

But if I go up and I'm killing, I go, well, this is kind of fun, but I might never want to go.

[Larry David]

And I don't like, I'm exactly the same way.

[Dana Carvey]

I never want to be in a de facto comedy competition. Go to the comedy store. There's 10 comics. I'm gonna try new stuff. They're doing their A stuff. Lean into it, you know, And I just don't like the people. You were one of the best tonight. I mean, what do I need that for? I'm just like you.

[David Spade]

Do you do corporates? Do they. They call you to come in.

[Dana Carvey]

They're fine.

[David Spade]

Somebody's got enough money.

[Larry David]

No, I, I, I don't get asked.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah, really?

[Dana Carvey]

I'm gonna talk to my people. Have you ever been in, in a headlock by another adult male? As, as an adult, because I see the CEO was drunk and had me at a corporate event.

[David Spade]

Guy.

[Larry David]

It's funny you should ask me that because. Because at the 50th, I was introduced to Paul McCartney, and I said to.

[Dana Carvey]

Him, has anyone ever.

[Larry David]

No, I said to him, has anyone ever punched you in the mouth.

[Dana Carvey]

Instead of hello, and we love all your albums?

[Larry David]

I said, let me ask you a question. Have you ever been hit in the face with a fist? Has anybody ever punched you?

[David Spade]

It's fucking great.

[Dana Carvey]

And he must have loved it.

[David Spade]

Oh, wait, we were.

[Dana Carvey]

What did he say?

[Larry David]

Yeah, the dinner.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

You were sitting right next to Paul. Yeah, you were hilarious. He was a good laugher, too. Yeah, he was into it. I think he likes having.

[Dana Carvey]

He's a charmer. I mean, but what did he say after you said, he just started laughing.

[Larry David]

No, he. There was an incident.

[David Spade]

There was an incident.

[Larry David]

There was an incident. In his youth, when he was like 13 or 14 and somebody headbutted him. He told me, he's.

[Dana Carvey]

He's so charming. There's something on YouTube, you can look it up, but McCartney's going into a nightclub with people. This is like in the movie Five Years in la. The. The doorman doesn't recognize him. And they, no, you can't go. And then you hear Paul say, we've got to write more songs. We got. We better go back to drawing.

[David Spade]

But we're not big enough, not famous enough. So anyway, that was a night I'm gonna ask him. I was sitting next to Chris Rock and I came late and I felt embarrassed, but I was 100% not invited. I was Chris I was meeting for dinner and he goes, just come here. And then I realized I was crashing at dinner. He was. Invites you or something, whatever. So anyway, I went in. Paul was very nice. Whoever threw that thing, just like 10 people. But the funny part was I was sitting just where I could see, kind of between. You guys are on the same side as me. So I'm trying to crank my head between Chris and you and see Paul and here you go, and Larry's killing. And then every time Paul gets to a story where he says something like, I told you, where he's like, you know, yesterday, the way I came up with it was one night when I was dreaming the guy who had potato skins. Then he leaves and I go. And then he's putting this shit down. He goes, top off your water. Top off. And I'm like, I'm trying to. And then he goes, I go, it's a quarter inch. We're topped off. And he's like, I got a little more in there. And then he comes out and I go. And he goes. And that's how I came with yesterday. And I go, uh huh. Then he goes, the last thing John ever said to me, hey, coconut shrimp. Hot plate, hot plate. And I'm like, God damn, dude. I'm missing every. This thing. I couldn't pay enough to hear Paul McCartney.

[Dana Carvey]

The dichotomy between how humble and liverpud lean he is. And the genius is a puddle. We sat down, you know, for a plonk. You know, John and I like looking in the mirror. And that's how we came up with Abiroud. You know, we just plunked, you know, it's like, what the.

[Larry David]

What about, what about Lennon? What would he say?

[Dana Carvey]

What would he say?

[David Spade]

Well, here we go.

[Dana Carvey]

Let's see. John Lennon. Yeah. John would be more Nasal, you know, Paul was always one of those. Ringo is more like peace and love. They were me brothers. They're me brothers. Me brothers. They're me brothers. Peace and love. Can you say anything else? No. Me brother is made out of love. And then polls like this. And George was sort of languish, laid back, you know, they were the primary songwriters for me. They were my brothers, you know. So anyway, I'm obsessed with too much. I just want to make you laugh because you came, you drove 300 miles.

[Larry David]

That was easy.

[David Spade]

This episode is brought to you by Ring Cameras and Doorbells. A lot happens while you're away from home. That's why Ring makes it easy to check in from anywhere. Whether you're saying hi to an unexpected guest, making sure those packages are safe, or keeping your pets company while you're out grabbing groceries. It's all a few taps away right from your phone. Be there with Ring Explore cameras, doorbells, alarm kits and more right [e-mail].

[Dana Carvey]

David I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you kind of, you know. No, no offense. And one of my best trips, Listen up. Is when I stayed at an Airbnb. Felt like I was living like a local with all the space. You know, hotels can be a hassle. Room service and then the housekeeper, it's a hassle. So then you go to Airbnb and you can get whatever you want. A little cottage, this and that. It's fantastic. You have your own separate, separate space. So it's a great product for people who travel. David?

[David Spade]

Yes, I have friends doing one of these right now. If you have a home, you can Airbnb it.

[Dana Carvey]

It's fantastic. I mean, to. To monetize your home when you're not there. Seems like a good idea.

[David Spade]

I mean, look, I'm on the road a lot. I could probably do it. It's. It's something that people can do when they travel. They have extra space or you're at a place not full time. You come in the winter, you leave in the summer. That's something you should think about. It's a way to get some extra money, and it's a cool experience.

[Dana Carvey]

Your home might be worth more than you think.

[David Spade]

Yep. Find out how [e-mail] host do that. Kim Kardashian1 what does that mean?

[Dana Carvey]

Kim Kardashian1 oh, that's why, dude. John Lennon talking to Paul John from heaven. Because I want to hear them talk. You Know. And you know, what happened to the big orange man, you know? Well, he's president again, but he was beat by another man, you know, named Joe Biden, you know, and he goes, wasn't he? What about. But didn't Kanye West. What happened to him? We went. Flew away. We don't know what happened to him, you know. Was he with a woman named Kim Kardashian?

[Larry David]

What?

[Dana Carvey]

How's she doing? I'm doing the short version.

[David Spade]

John knows a couple little things. They talk regular pop references.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you know, she's a nice gal, you know. Well, how does she make a living? Well, she takes pictures of her bottom. What's so special about her bottom? It's not a normal bottom. It's a bottom 2.0. It's like God made a fanny and attached to person is an afterthought. The whole family has big bottoms. All of them are doing it. And if they follow in their backs, they're sort of like turtles. They can't get up again. They have to have turtle wranglers lift them up. You know, the whole family's doing it. One gentleman got so frustrated, he became a woman. So that's. That's a truncated version of it. You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?

[Larry David]

Well, I love impressions, so make me.

[Dana Carvey]

Too, if I see someone.

[Larry David]

Yeah, Bill Hader was on my show, and he was.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, he's so.

[Larry David]

Oh, my God.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, he. Did he do one of my bits? I think Burton Kirk or. Yeah, Jimmy Stewart.

[Larry David]

He gave you credit. He did Burton Kirk. Yeah. He gave you full credit.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. I know. It was flattering how much he loves it, because I think he's absolutely brilliant, you know, but, yeah, he loves that Burton Kirk thing, too. I want you. I want you. No, I'll take it easy, son. We're just two men having fun. Don't keep bucking around like that. Only got so much play down there. You keep bucking around like that.

[David Spade]

So great.

[Dana Carvey]

I want you. What are you gonna do? Kill, boy? Come on, I'll take you. So I do this for 20 minutes. I once had John Lovitz throw up in a parking garage because I'll do it for 20 minutes, but because he.

[Larry David]

Was laughing so hard, because it goes.

[Dana Carvey]

On and on and on and on, you know, I keep doing bits.

[David Spade]

No, we're doing good. I think maybe we waste enough of his time.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, this is my current favorite. Do you want me to do it?

[David Spade]

Yeah, do one more.

[Dana Carvey]

It's not. This is Jimmy Stewart, which I think Conan but trying to come up with a new Jimmy Stewart thing is that someone's gonna perform oral sex on him and he does it as Jimmy Stewart. Okay, so it's not X rated.

[Larry David]

Okay, I know this one too.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. All right. No, no, no. Don't touch it. No, just slow down. Now I want you to slowly turn your head and look away. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Just look away. And I want you to forget about it. Pretend you never saw it. Now slowly, but ever slowly, turn your head back around and discover it again. That's it. That's the look I want. Just discover it. Just consider it now, slowly, you know? So that's. That's my latest.

[Larry David]

That's just hilarious.

[Dana Carvey]

I've never done this many times.

[Larry David]

So funny.

[David Spade]

Discover it and consider it.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I have one where he leaves the house. Now I'm gonna go around the corner and get a soda pop, and I want you to forget all about it. You never saw it. Then I'm gonna come back and I want you to slowly turn and discover it again like it's brand new. Yeah, yeah. No, no, don't, don't, don't. Don't touch it. Just. Just think about it. I'll back the head up again. I know. I'm. I'm gonna back up and. But out in the hallway, so.

[David Spade]

I see.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll just go for 20 minutes. But you're the greatest audience.

[David Spade]

That's a good close.

[Dana Carvey]

I do too.

[David Spade]

It should be your closer. That's a great one.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm gonna edit these things together, release it as a special.

[Larry David]

So funny. Holy cow.

[David Spade]

Anything you need from us, Larry, you'd all right?

[Larry David]

Oh, no, I'm good.

[David Spade]

Thank you very much for coming here.

[Dana Carvey]

You're. You're just an amazing guest, and I don't know what to say other than.

[Larry David]

I did the best I could.

[David Spade]

You did great. We all didn't want to do this, and we all did it, and I think I'm proud of us all.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you want to go? Yes. That's all I do with Jerry.

[Larry David]

How many. How many podcasts are there?

[David Spade]

Over three.

[Dana Carvey]

Over three million now?

[Larry David]

No, honestly, no.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I think there's three million.

[David Spade]

Does that seem too low?

[Dana Carvey]

Sounds like a joke. There's 3 million podcasts in North America.

[Larry David]

How does everyone do it?

[David Spade]

We Googled it, and that was over 3 million. That was about a year ago. So it's.

[Dana Carvey]

Most don't get past 30 episodes. So they come in and out, but I don't know how. Greg here's our producer. How do they it seems easy.

[David Spade]

It's kind of hard to do.

[Dana Carvey]

Digital space is unlimited, that we can all just.

[David Spade]

It feels like the easiest thing in the world. So if you're an actor or if you're doing anything in showbiz and things are slow, you feel like you want to do something. Well.

[Larry David]

Right.

[David Spade]

And then it's like when people used to watch the Kardashians, they wanted a reality show. They go, hey, I argue. I hate my family too. I yell at them in the kitchen. I can do this show. So that's what they think. And then they go to podcast and it's a little trickier and tougher and a lot fizzle, but some stick around. It's, it's, it's a little bit to it.

[Dana Carvey]

It's a new tech. So it's sort of like, you know, you do the talk show and you do the pre interview and you have two minutes and they're cutting. And so this is just like us hanging out. So just new art form of like shooting the rehearsal, doing half baked stuff. We don't have a script. I had a few questions.

[David Spade]

Right. It's good to have a day.

[Dana Carvey]

So it is fun. It can be fun, you know, just because of the freedom of it.

[Larry David]

Yeah. And it's great that you're doing it together.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I think, yeah, we, we get along really well. Yeah.

[David Spade]

It's easier. And then if someone else, whoever we got here, one of us knows something about something and. But we let them talk sometimes. We let you talk a little bit.

[Larry David]

Yeah. I said, I said a couple of things. Feel free to cut me out of the whole thing.

[David Spade]

We don't need too much for me.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I'd say I watch you on Conan, and I noticed this morning just. And I said, oh, God, Larry loves to laugh, you know? You know, like you, you're like maybe the funniest guy. Whatever. Let's just say he's arguably the funniest person in the last. This generation.

[David Spade]

Arguably last 300.

[Dana Carvey]

You're in the conversation as the funniest person. So to make that guy laugh is just a pleasure.

[Larry David]

You heard the, the Conan what Podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And you guys are having such a good time. And I noticed because I haven't hung out with you a lot. I just said, Larry loves to laugh.

[Larry David]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, and so that's why I just thought I'd do a few things, you know.

[Larry David]

All right.

[David Spade]

Anyway, when he did, when I did Curb, and this is the last thing I'll say, you had to cut some stuff out and you called me because very. It's very tough to call someone telling me how to cut something. So he told me. And the funniest part was I said, okay, well, I had a great time, and thanks for putting me on there. And it was. And then you felt guilty, and you go, now I feel bad. And I go, well, well, I understand it. And they go, are you being sarcastic? I go, no, I know that these shows go long and we ad lib forever, and you've got to take some stuff out. And you go, all right, I'll try to put it back in. And I go, no, it's fine. And it turned into another episode because it was just funny to hear you feel bad that you had to call me. But it's hard to tell someone that. And a lot of people say they never even told me. I'm like, it's hard to tell people this. It is what it is. If it gets cut, it gets cut. But that was.

[Dana Carvey]

The people who would design Seinfeld and Curb would have all that kind of emotions because it's coming from all this human.

[David Spade]

You're on both sides.

[Dana Carvey]

So that makes sense that you would suddenly feel bad because if you're a.

[Larry David]

Sensitive instrument on Seinfeld, this guy I knew paid a lot of money to be an extra for charity, and I inadvertently cut him out of the show, and he had a party. He was gonna have people.

[David Spade]

Oh, my God.

[Larry David]

People over his house.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

So, all right. Okay, thanks. Thanks, bud. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, Leave a Like a review all this stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is. Wherever you get your podcasts, Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.