Patton Oswalt

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: Patton Oswalt
Release Date: December 4, 2024
Host/Guest: Dana Carvey, David Spade, Patton Oswalt

---

### Introduction

In this engaging episode of Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade, the dynamic duo welcomes the multifaceted comedian and actor Patton Oswalt. The conversation delves deep into Patton's illustrious career in stand-up comedy, his memorable roles in film and television, and his unique perspectives on the entertainment industry.

---

### Patton Oswalt’s Acting Journey Timestamp: 05:45 - 13:00

Dana Carvey begins by highlighting Patton Oswalt's passion for movies, particularly his enthusiasm for the Stanley Kubrick film 2001: A Space Odyssey and the Planet of the Apes series. Patton shares his experiences navigating the San Francisco comedy club scene before rising to fame.

Notable Quote:

• Dana Carvey (07:27): "Patton Oswald. He is a dandy... hilarious to talk to."

Patton recounts his role in Magnolia, describing the challenging and surreal experiences on set, including collaborating closely with Paul Thomas Anderson. He humorously explains the complexities of acting without a full script, leading to unexpected and memorable scenes.

Notable Quote:

• Patton Oswalt (11:03): "You'll be even more confused when it happens."

---

### Insights into Movie Production Timestamp: 13:00 - 25:00

The trio delves into the intricacies of movie production, especially the differences between comedic and dramatic roles. Patton shares anecdotes about his contributions to various films, often playing roles that support the "badass" lead characters by handling essential equipment or providing witty commentary.

They discuss iconic films like Deep Blue Sea, exploring what makes a science fiction movie truly great. Patton emphasizes the importance of running with a strong premise and infusing humor to elevate the narrative.

Notable Quote:

• Patton Oswalt (22:22): "A bad science fiction movie is one that has a great premise and they don't run with it."

---

### The Comedy Scene and Stand-Up Strategies Timestamp: 25:00 - 45:00

Transitioning to stand-up comedy, Dana and David explore Patton's approach to developing his comedic material. Patton shares his strategy of empathizing with diverse characters to create relatable and humorous content. The conversation touches on the challenges of performing in various comedy club settings, from intimate venues to large theaters.

Patton provides valuable tips for aspiring comedians, such as understanding audience dynamics and honing the rhythm of comedy before perfecting the content.

Notable Quote:

• Patton Oswalt (34:09): "Sometimes you learn the rhythm before the content. And that can make for some really, really funny moments."

David recounts his early experiences in comedy clubs like Rooster Tea Feathers and the hurdles of booking shows, while Patton reminisces about interacting with fellow comedians and managing challenging performances.

---

### Game Shows and Hosting Challenges Timestamp: 45:00 - 70:00

The discussion shifts to Patton's foray into game show hosting. He introduces his British-style game show, where logic and unconventional thinking are tested rather than traditional knowledge. Patton explains the show's structure, emphasizing its appeal to viewers who enjoy solving intricate puzzles.

David shares his experiences hosting Snake Oil, highlighting the importance of clear rules and maintaining audience engagement despite complexities. The hosts exchange humorous stories about misunderstandings and on-set mishaps, underlining the unpredictable nature of live television.

Notable Quote:

• David Spade (69:19): "If you crack that code, you get people just sort of interested. That's it."

---

### Reflections on Classic Films Timestamp: 70:00 - 90:00

Dana steers the conversation towards classic cinema, particularly focusing on 2001: A Space Odyssey and Planet of the Apes. Patton and Dana share their admiration for Kubrick's masterpieces, discussing the films' lasting impact and technical brilliance. They analyze memorable scenes, such as the iconic statue of liberty reveal in Planet of the Apes, celebrating its chilling and thought-provoking conclusion.

Patton also touches on the emotional depth of Paths of Glory, praising the film's portrayal of human vulnerability amidst war.

Notable Quote:

• Patton Oswalt (31:12): "It's still chilling to this day. And when they show the Statue of Liberty, no music, just the sound of the waves. It's so final."

---

### The Evolution of Comedy Specials Timestamp: 90:00 - 105:00

As the episode progresses, the hosts discuss the evolution of comedy specials. Patton expresses his preference for intimate and raw performances over grandiose productions, citing his own special as a testament to focusing purely on humor without distractions.

Dana and David reflect on the benefits of smaller venues, where comedians can connect more personally with the audience, enhancing the comedic experience.

Notable Quote:

• Patton Oswalt (98:03): "It's a lot of stopping and starting and there's a lot of... Maybe this isn't with you. But so much focus on the rules because it's so legal."

---

### Personal Stories and Anecdotes Timestamp: 105:00 - 140:00

The conversation takes a more personal turn as Patton shares amusing and sometimes awkward experiences from his early career. From interacting with sound crew members to navigating unexpected challenges on stage, Patton reveals the humorous side of the entertainment industry.

Dana and David contribute their own stories, creating a lively and relatable dialogue that highlights the camaraderie among comedians. They discuss the importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of unforeseen circumstances during performances.

Notable Quote:

• Patton Oswalt (117:45): "I love the Deadwood mentality of like, well, you panned this much gold, so we can give you $2 or a clean woman. Which one do you want?"

---

### Closing Remarks Timestamp: 140:00 - End

As the episode wraps up, Dana and David thank Patton Oswalt for his candid and entertaining contributions. They reflect on the depth and breadth of their conversation, appreciating Patton's insights into both comedy and acting. The hosts encourage listeners to follow Patton's work and stay tuned for future episodes featuring more entertainment industry veterans.

Notable Quote:

• Dana Carvey (74:55): "That was so much fun to talk about the killings and to talk about Planet of the Apes and stand up."

---

### Conclusion

This episode of Fly on the Wall offers a rich tapestry of stories, insights, and humor, showcasing the exceptional chemistry between Dana Carvey, David Spade, and Patton Oswalt. Whether you're a fan of stand-up comedy, classic films, or behind-the-scenes tales from the entertainment world, this conversation provides something for everyone.

---

### Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• David Spade (07:29): "Patton Oswald. He is a dandy... hilarious to talk to."
• Patton Oswalt (11:03): "You'll be even more confused when it happens."
• Patton Oswalt (22:22): "A bad science fiction movie is one that has a great premise and they don't run with it."
• Patton Oswalt (34:09): "Sometimes you learn the rhythm before the content. And that can make for some really, really funny moments."
• David Spade (69:19): "If you crack that code, you get people just sort of interested. That's it."
• Patton Oswalt (31:12): "It's still chilling to this day. And when they show the Statue of Liberty, no music, just the sound of the waves. It's so final."
• Patton Oswalt (98:03): "It's a lot of stopping and starting and there's a lot of... Maybe this isn't with you. But so much focus on the rules because it's so legal."
• Patton Oswalt (117:45): "I love the Deadwood mentality of like, well, you panned this much gold, so we can give you $2 or a clean woman. Which one do you want?"
• Dana Carvey (74:55): "That was so much fun to talk about the killings and to talk about Planet of the Apes and stand up."

---

### Key Takeaways

• Patton Oswalt's Versatility: Patton's ability to transition seamlessly between stand-up comedy and acting roles highlights his multifaceted talent.

• Importance of Storytelling: The episode underscores the significance of narrative and character development in both comedy and film.

• The Essence of Comedy Clubs: Intimate venues allow comedians to connect deeply with their audience, fostering a more impactful comedic experience.

• Classic Film Appreciation: Discussions on timeless classics reveal how certain films continue to influence and resonate within the entertainment industry.

---

This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, providing a detailed overview of the discussions, insights, and humorous exchanges between Dana Carvey, David Spade, and Patton Oswalt.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

And it's horrible when toilet paper fails you and you've, you've used the restroom and then your significant other says, did, did it, did it please you or did it fail you and you just go thumbs down, total fail.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Also they're making it skinnier, I think toilet paper, because I'm, you know, I'm, I've got a roll of paper towels in there for what reason I'm not going to tell you. But a bidet is a device, just so you know, Dana, that delivers a precise stream of fresh water to wash your booty. If I get too technical, tell me after you go number deuce. For less than 50 bucks, you can convert your regular toilet into a bidet with a luxe bidet. America's number one best selling bidet attachment.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I see. That's clever.

[David Spade]

Cleans better than toilet paper.

[Dana Carvey]

You know, listen, toilet paper, you're making choices.

[David Spade]

If a bird poops on your face, would you just clean up with paper? No, you'd wash it off, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. This is so archaic. I mean, Billy Toilet was a French inventor and he said, we're going to wipe our bottoms with paper, thin paper on little squares. What are you going to call it? I don't know. My name is Billy Toilet. How about toilet paper?

[David Spade]

And you know, I don't. I know you've talked about skid marks in the past, but we don't. There's no poopy crumbs, there's no nothing. These are technical, scientific words. It's just more effective. It saves you money in toilet paper. Lux Bidet is America's favorite bidet. They've washed millions of behinds and B holes, so that's good. Lux Bidet Neo plus is the only bidet with a fast slide in installation. It attaches your existing toity in minutes. Just a few DIY steps. Everything you need comes in the box. No plumbing yet. You don't feel like a super plumber or electrician.

[Dana Carvey]

This is so easy. This is what I, you know, no more skid marks, no more butt crumbs. I mean, this is getting better and better.

[David Spade]

Always chanting that you walk away fresh and clean. It's a spa day for your behind.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's your butt goes to the spa with this. This product, okay? A car wash for your ass. I just said it.

[David Spade]

Lux Body makes a great gift. People will laugh when they see it, but then they're going to love it. Gift for your friends, your family. Maybe you can tell which ones needle, extra help.

[Dana Carvey]

Really need it. The ones who will be super excited. Use code fly on my butt to get 20. Use code fly on my butt to get 20% off [e-mail]. that's L, U X E B I D E T dot com.

[David Spade]

Yes. Lux Bidet. The better way to go. Our next one is Fracture. Dana, let's just. We're going to fracture. We're going to go through this. So every year, Dana, I think this is it. This is the holiday I killed at gift giving. And then somehow you get socks. I send you socks.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, David, socks. That's basically a cry for help wrapped in cheap cotton. Partner, this year you're leveling it up with the no fail jaw dropping gift everyone will love. Wait for. For it. Fracture.

[David Spade]

Fracture. That sounds something like I did to my ego in the 90s with when I read reviews. What is it?

[Dana Carvey]

It's genius Fracture. No, listen, listen, listen.

[David Spade]

I'll kid.

[Dana Carvey]

Listen, listen for a second. I'm not joking. Fracture takes your favorite photos. Like that one of you rocking the mullet and brings them directly on sleek, modern glass. Hear me out. Hear me out. The colors are so vibrant, so stunning. It's like your David Hollywood memories all aglow.

[David Spade]

So any photos of me with the mullet on that lives in glory? That's. That's like a hall of fame. I'll take that. Exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

You're starting to get it. Single, single prints, gallery walls, frame, frameless. They've got it all. I'm telling you. I'm here to tell you, David, just upload your photo and boom, you're gifting like a pro. There's no effort required. That's good for you. Which is perfect.

[David Spade]

So I don't need a toolbox because I have one screwdriver in the house.

[Dana Carvey]

And then you have one screwdriver right before dinner.

[David Spade]

It's a slippery snipple.

[Dana Carvey]

No, you don't have to lift a finger. They come ready to hang. No hammers, no extra holes in the wall. Just sleek, stunning glass prints that make people gasp. Even Aunt Barb, and she's a tough crowd.

[David Spade]

Barb. All right. I love it. So this year, no socks, no oven mitts, no candles. Just fracture.

[Dana Carvey]

Thoughtful, personable, unforgettable Fracture is. I. I'm going to just say this Whatever, whatever. People think it's the no fail that makes you, makes you a holiday.

[David Spade]

We both said no fail.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, no fail. We're just going out on a no fail limb.

[David Spade]

All right, well, finally my mullet saves Christmas. What's the kicker?

[Dana Carvey]

You get 30% off@firmure me.com with code fly fracture. Making bad gifters great sense whenever they started.

[David Spade]

Dana Patton Oswald is on the show today.

[Dana Carvey]

Patton Oswald. He is. I'm just going to. He's a, he's a dandy. This guy has been in our. I love the figure speech in our living rooms for decades. Great stand up has a new game show. We talk about. What was really fun for me is he is a, he is a movie buff. And I, I watched the Killers, the Stanley Kubrick film, 1958. So he was, he was so excited to talk about that. And of course, Planet of the Apes fanatic. So all that is really a fun part of this. And then also he came through the whole San Francisco comedy club scene. I had left a little bit before he arrived, but he talks about how he became Patton Oswald. You know, how he, how he became a great stand up from all of his travails in that arena.

[David Spade]

Super easy going guy, easy to laugh. Had a nice time chatting with him. And yeah, we got into all that stuff. Even I jumped in on some of those movies that I knew.

[Dana Carvey]

And yeah, and we did break down the idea that sometimes Wikipedia pages are inaccurate.

[David Spade]

That's true.

[Dana Carvey]

We do go into that for a while.

[David Spade]

I usually try to find someone on Wikipedia that they don't think is there. And I'm like, this can't be real. And then it usually is not real. And they're like, where did you get that? I'm like, it says it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, there's some, some. I've had some funny stuff on my Wikipedia page. We talk about that. And so he was just a really fun, easy person to hang out with for an hour.

[David Spade]

All right, here he is.

[Dana Carvey]

Patton Oswald. Also, are there any other patents, really? I mean, there was a famous actor, name's Patton. Right. Not you, but someone.

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, there's, there's a Paula Patton and then there's a. Oh, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Last name, though.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. And then who's that other great, great actor? Will Patton. But there's no, there's no first name patents.

[Dana Carvey]

And you're named after General Patton, which is pretty cool.

[Patton Oswalt]

Dad was a Marine, had high hopes.

[David Spade]

And I thought you were named after Paula Patton.

[Patton Oswalt]

He was also. He is weird. He actually predicted her becoming a star three years before she. Yeah, he was like, I feel like there's going to be this actress.

[David Spade]

Paula's great. I did a movie with Paula. She played my love interest. Shocker of the century.

[Dana Carvey]

God, you're always the boyfriend.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wow.

[David Spade]

And guess what? She was a bit resistant to that. I think she was. Maybe we won't go there. She first. Or maybe she's got. But I'm sure she's reading the script and it was a Sandler movie. And I'm sure she's like, oh, I guess I could make out with Sandler. And then there's a little bit of a mix up. Because when you read. Actually, this is true. When you read the script.

[Dana Carvey]

What?

[David Spade]

I'm the lead and Adam is. Adam's the second lead. So I read it thinking I was the second part. Adam goes, no, you're the other part. And I go, that's the lead. And so Paul is probably reading it, going, I just thought of that. Oh, my God, it's horrible.

[Dana Carvey]

Was that where Sandler's a military assassin badass and you're kind of the nerd? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that was good.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, that dance.

[Dana Carvey]

No, not Zohan. It was one of the Netflix ones.

[David Spade]

It's all right.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wasn't he also, like an elite assassin?

[Dana Carvey]

Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

He's always an elite something.

[Patton Oswalt]

Elite something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Have you ever gotten to play a badass in a movie?

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, no, no. I'm always the guy.

[Dana Carvey]

Me neither.

[Patton Oswalt]

So I in. I'm in a lot of badass movies, but I'm the guy either building the equipment or telling the badass, like, hey, be careful with this.

[David Spade]

Building equipment.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, I'm handing equipment over to people. Like, I'm giving Ryan Reynolds or Wesley Snipes a piece of vampire killing equipment or something like that.

[David Spade]

I just sharpened the steak, sir. It's ready to go.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Have you ever thrown a punch in a.

[Patton Oswalt]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

And listen, here's where. To the sound effect.

[Patton Oswalt]

I've never thrown a punch, but I was on Conan a few years ago and they put together a real. And I apparently get my ass kicked a lot in movies and TV shows. So there's a whole thing from Magnolia and Justified and Burn Noted where I'm just getting either killed or horribly beaten up or tortured.

[Dana Carvey]

So you were in Magnolia?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Because that's kind of a work of art as a movie. I mean, it's. It's brilliant, right?

[Patton Oswalt]

It's brilliant. But anyone who works with Paul Thomas Henderson will tell you you don't. They don't Give you the whole script. They send you your pages.

[David Spade]

So ballsy.

[Patton Oswalt]

So ballsy. So all I had was I'm beaten up in a casino and then I'm suddenly, I'm in a green wetsuit and I'm hanging in this tree in the valley, and they're dumping arrowhead waters over my head to keep me from passing out because it was so hot. And I said, paul, what the fuck is going on? What is this? And he just said, I'll just put it this way. You're the first frog that falls out of the sky, and it'll make sense to you when you see the movie.

[David Spade]

No, it won't.

[Patton Oswalt]

You'll be even more confused when it happens.

[David Spade]

I go watch Magnolia.

[Dana Carvey]

So Tom. Tom Cruise got the sides and it just said, respect the cock. And he didn't even know the context of that.

[Patton Oswalt]

I think he. Well, I feel like maybe Tom Cruise's people were able to go, can we see the whole script?

[David Spade]

Few extra pages.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. But when you're at Patton Oswalt Lever, they're like, here's your page. We'll see you in Reno in two weeks.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I got with David just gets stage directions. You just get stage directions. Sometimes you don't even get dialogue grown.

[David Spade]

Ups that just said you have shorts on. I said, all right, well, I'll do it.

[Patton Oswalt]

I can. Hey, hang on. I can use shorts. Perfect.

[David Spade]

I mean, exactly.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's great.

[David Spade]

Plea. Can they be pleaded? Let me talk to Adam. We'll get back to you.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, you mean those little miniature. Miniature script pages that people have in their pocket?

[Patton Oswalt]

Hell yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Bringing out the mini side.

[Patton Oswalt]

Sometimes I'll look in. In movies, I'll look in the pant legs and see if I can spot either mini sides or cell phones. You always look for the little mini sides folded up.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. You look at Game of Thrones and you see a 711 cup and some mini sides and you're like, oh, wait, when was this shot? I thought it was 1440. They had blackberries then, didn't they.

[Patton Oswalt]

Didn't they literally have to go in and do CJ to get rid of a Starbucks cup in an episode of Game of Thrones? Near the end. Because it was apparently so chaotic at the end that they just couldn't, you know, Shit.

[David Spade]

I heard some guy, Kit, maybe it was the car from Knight Rider, but someone named Kit was saying that it was so hard at Game of Thrones. They go, people didn't like the ending. But you know what? We just wanted to get out of there. It Was too much, like, freezing.

[Patton Oswalt]

And oh, man.

[David Spade]

All the things you don't even think about. You're wearing 48 pounds of armor every scene in a pelt of a goddamn walrus. You're like, guys.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Well, it's always interesting when you talk to crew members about what are good movies. And they're like, yeah. Oh, my God. You did crew on There Will Be Blood. Like, that sucked. It was just like dust and wind. And you're like, oh, you also did Alvin and the Chipmunks too. That was a great movie. We were on a cruise ship. There was a buffet. Their perspective on filmmaking is so different than ours. When we're going for art. They're like, no, I will happily do. Are you kidding? Grown ups for your greatest movie ever made. It was so much fun.

[David Spade]

Yeah. That the crew has a good time too, because they sit in truck. Most crews sit in trucks. I mean, it's. You have to have someone for everything. If you're listening. So if you say Adam goes, we need a bow and arrow. Whereas call props. Then props runs up and goes, we have a bow and arrow. And he's like, let me check the truck. Which means, no.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And then they have to send someone to go get one. But, you know, it's just. You don't want to waste time. So everything's there in case of whatever.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. They go through the script and they try to imagine every possible thing that might get riffed on the day. Oh, he might want this. Let's have it.

[David Spade]

Well, comedies are horrible. Like, I'm sure on PTA's movies it's very precise. But with movies that are comedies, you know, you're ad libbing. And there's some things where they go, hey, you come out of here. Like, I came out of a closet in one of the grownups movies from a hangover. And they go, oh, what if you had one of the sweaters on from one of the women because you're just drunk. Okay. Then that did turn into, what if you have a bow and arrow? What if you have a hat on? What if you have a catcher's mask on? And then they just went into props and go, what's the funniest shit that would be in a closet that I could. We wearing all of it? And then we. We came up with like eight things. And the last one was I take the coat off and I've got one of those breast pump things on that the wife had earlier. So I'm like, there we go.

[Dana Carvey]

Finally did it jump the shark at Any point? Or was it just funnier?

[David Spade]

It actually got funny because we took half a day to go through each one and go, which one is the funny one? Which one's the last one? And then the dog came out after me, and everyone was like, oh, there you go. And they said something like always with a blonde because the dog was like a golden retriever. I mean, you can't make it funnier, Patton.

[Patton Oswalt]

I just imagine the props people walking in the truck going, the comedians are riffing again.

[David Spade]

That's what I'm saying is riffing on movies.

[Patton Oswalt]

Here we go. Oh, God. David's never has some ideas. Make some coffee. We're going to be here late.

[David Spade]

He's brainstorming triple time. He's not one on the call sheet. We don't need to hear his ideas.

[Patton Oswalt]

What's that story that Michael Keaton told when his little son was in, like, kindergarten and they did, like, Career Day, like, what do your parents do? And Michael Keaton was kind of pumped up, like, because his son had visited him on sets thinking, oh, he's going to my dad's movie star. And then when they got to, his son went, my dad lives in a trailer. He just said that's what he thought his dad did for a living. He went and sat in a trailer.

[Dana Carvey]

That's true. He never saw him, actually nine minutes a day.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, he visited him in a trailer.

[David Spade]

I mean, Batman. Those movies are, like. They say they shoot a quarter page a day, so it's mostly stunts. And then you got to be on some wires and screen, and I'm not in them.

[Patton Oswalt]

I imagine you're bolted into that costume. Like, they're apparently on the Christian Bale ones. He has to, like, lean against the wall. Like, you know, like, when you do a period thing and the dresses between shots, they have the women, like, lean because they don't want to. You can't sit down. They don't want you to mess with the dress. That's how it is with a bat. He kind of leans on this plank against the wall to keep the costume.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, do the agents, managers come and visit him? Does his team come and visit him?

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, you're like. It's. It's their way of going. You're literally a prop. Like, we are leaning you against the wall in between these shots.

[David Spade]

I know. It's always just your eyes and those things. You're like, hey, that's Ben Affleck. No, it's George Clooney. Well, either way, get stuffed in this thing and then jump around.

[Patton Oswalt]

How Great is. By the way, how happy is Robert Downey Jr. He's got Iron man and now Dr. Doom. They're gonna have closeups of his face that he'll shoot in some studio. And the rest is a stuntman in a suit. Like it's the best job ever.

[Dana Carvey]

And isn't it? I was thinking of that 62 million or no. For the two movies.

[David Spade]

It's something that he doesn't need. But also, what was Deadpool? Deadpool has that costume on which it took me three movies to go. Wait, when is it him? When is a guy gesticulating in scenes in a two shot and he. Ryan just, you know, voiceovers the whole scene. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it's very smart on his part. He has a business empire. I mean, he's doing so many things. He only does two days on Deadpool.

[David Spade]

The rest is the size of 300.

[Dana Carvey]

And then counts his moolah. There you go. So, you know, David, just news flash, in my earlier days, I did do a stationary rower and I thought it was one of the best workouts you can possibly get.

[David Spade]

Oh yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And the current greatest thing to get right now is hydro rower.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And I would really recommend it. I. It doesn't. There's no real pounding like you can get with running and stuff. And it's one movement and you're getting your whole body really burn calories and break a sweat.

[David Spade]

Yeah. You know, a lot of people talk about, oh, I should get somebody a treadmill or elliptical or a bike. It's just a lot of yapping. You know, they don't really work out your upper body or core.

[Dana Carvey]

No, you. Would you do this properly with hydro, you are just like your entire movement is your core. Then it goes to your back, your arms, you push off with your legs. It's literally everything, including your pinky gets a workout.

[David Spade]

It's not super easy, but it's a workout. And that's what it's. That's what you need. You know, you need a workout, get sweaty and feel good. It just hits a lot, a lot of muscles, arms, legs, core. It works 86% of your muscles.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes. And by the way, there's a way, usually it's called a damper to adjust the tension when you pull back on the row, quote unquote. And so you can make it easy. You can start out on the hydro, just get acclimated to the movement. You don't have to go all out. And then eventually you can just as you get more fit, you can up the Tension on the.

[David Spade]

And some people get confused because they go, I thought a damper was when you invited Dana to your party. It really bums people out. Anyway, all Hydra workouts are led by Olympians, world class athletes, top tier coaches. What's really cool, hydro workouts are filmed all over the world, outside, not stuck in some sweaty studio. They have the largest library of rowing workouts. You stay motivated, you crush your goals. Listen, Hydro covers you with free standard shipping, 30 day risk free trial, one year warranty. Listen, this is easy. At home with hydro. You know what I mean?

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[David Spade]

You get it.

[Dana Carvey]

You're going to love it. I'm starting to get it. You have the gift of a full body workout, David. All from the comfort of home with hydro. Head over to hydro.com and use code fly to save up to 800 off your hydro pro rower.

[David Spade]

That's H y d r o w.com codefly to save up to $800. That's a lot. Hydro.com code fly. Here's my. Here's my noise of a hydro.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, that would be the old fashioned rowers. This is like.

[Patton Oswalt]

I can't even begin to tell you.

[Dana Carvey]

How bad it was.

[Patton Oswalt]

It was Lord of the Flies in a building.

[Dana Carvey]

It was called Straight Incorporated.

[Cindy Ettler]

This is the story of Straight Incorporated, an experimental drug rehab for teenagers that infiltrated communities across the country in the 1980s during the height of the war on drugs, where kidnapping, brainwashing and torture were disguised as therapy. It's the origin story of the troubled teen industry which continues to profit from the desperation of parents and the vulnerability of their children. And its roots can be traced back to a cult called Synanon. How do I know this? Because I lived through it. My name is Cindy Ettler and this is season two of the Sunshine Place. Listen to and follow the Sunshine Place an Odyssey original podcast in association with Robert Downey Jr. And Susan Downey. Available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dana Carvey]

So, Pat, one thing I find interesting about you and comedians in general, stand ups. You're on the road and what is there to do? So you try to see a movie.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

So and I. Your thing. You wrote a book about it. You're like downtown. But I saw a lot, a lot of movies because that's. How do you feel that day?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

And I did see a list. I don't know if it was legit, but it was. You were online going top worst sci fi movies and top best.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I'm sure it was just off the top of Your head. There's some missing here.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Well, it was also that thing, because I've been in enough movies now to know that even the quote unquote, worst movies, people broke their back making those things. Like, they really worked hard. So to me, a bad science fiction movie is one that has a great premise and they don't run with it. Like, they just kind of, you know, or they don't have any fun with it. So weirdly enough, like, a movie like Deep Blue Sea is on my top five worst thing. Even though I say it, it is the most insanely entertaining bad science fiction movie. Like, the whole premise is nuts. Where, yes, they're trying to cure Alzheimer's and they need to operate on these sharks, but the side effect is the sharks become super intelligent. So you're like, wait a minute. So to help Grandma to stop Grandma pooping in her pants, the sea is now filled with genius level, unstoppable killing machine.

[David Spade]

I love it.

[Dana Carvey]

That's kind of brilliant.

[David Spade]

Feels like a Michael Bay movie.

[Dana Carvey]

That pitch sold in about eight seconds in Hollywood.

[Patton Oswalt]

Exactly. Yeah. So I love that kind of. That kind of thinking.

[David Spade]

Also. They could have gone so far where the sharks have to do the operations because they're the smartest ones.

[Patton Oswalt]

Now that. Oh, my God, that would have been brilliant. If the sharks become so intelligent.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

That they start experimenting on us. See that? That would have been a genuinely brilliant.

[David Spade]

Bonkers twist, because you don't see it coming. You're like, oh, my God, sharks. Like Scalpel and his little fine deep blue sea again.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. It's not too late.

[David Spade]

Do it again. Good cast. I'm looking it up. Saffron Burroughs. Love, Sam Jackson. Comes with any project. Thomas Jane Lo, Cool J. Stellan Skarsgard.

[Patton Oswalt]

Stella Skarsgard, ladies and gentlemen.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

I just want a bet.

[Patton Oswalt]

Sam Jackson has a scene. It has one of the best scenes in a movie. I don't know. Have you guys seen Deep Blue Sea?

[Dana Carvey]

No.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay. David knows what I'm. I don't want to spoil the surprise for you, Dana. I will say when the thing happens. I was. I saw it at the. At the. At the Cinerama Dome, and the audience gave it a standing applause. They were so happy. It was a genuine. I did not see this coming. Yes. Thank you. This is fantastic.

[David Spade]

Should you tell Dana? I don't know. Maybe.

[Patton Oswalt]

All right.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't think it would hurt.

[David Spade]

Pause it for a second if you don't want to hear this.

[Dana Carvey]

I kind of have a sense of what the speech might be.

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, in the middle of the movie Sam. They're like, the situation is dire. They got to get themselves off this lab. And Sam Jackson, and this is right after Pulp Fiction, and he starts one of his Sam Jackson speeches where he's talking about, if you think water is bad at, try ice. I was trapped on a map, and it is this build, and then a shark comes out of the water and just bites him in half, like in the middle of a. Sam. Jack is. It is so goddamn perfect. And you know that when Sam Jackson read that, when they gave him the strip, he was laughing his ass off and went, there's no way. I'm not doing this. This is going to be fantastic.

[David Spade]

No one saw it coming. Kills once in a while.

[Dana Carvey]

It occurs to me that I think Samuel L. Jackson may be the American movie star in the last 30 years only because of all the different quadrants he occupies. Go ahead.

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, also because he's just one of those guys that when he's on screen, what do you do with everyone else? He's just. It's just the. You're completely drawn to him. It's ridiculous.

[Dana Carvey]

Just get out of the way. Except Travolta was pretty good with a weird haircut. Pulp Fiction, as far as holding his own, you know?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. They call it. What do they call a Big Mac in Paris? What was that one?

[Patton Oswalt]

Royale Cheese? Well, Travolta was also smart enough to go, this guy is on fire. I'm just going to lean back and just comment on his stuff rather than try to overdo him. If I just kind of hang back and go, huh? Like that will give me that kind of focus.

[Dana Carvey]

Travolta had that gear, you know, when he's dancing with Uma Thurman, the minimalism he's doing with it is so charismatic versus the smallest dance ever. He's barely moving, but it's just, like, electric.

[David Spade]

He probably did Grease. I did Saturday Night Fever where I was just huge dancing, and I can't do it again. I'm gonna go small. Plus, that was a comeback movie, right? So he's probably saying, I don't wanna steal focus. I don't wanna. I mean, a lot going on for Travolta in that movie.

[Patton Oswalt]

Here's the weird thing about when they call Pulp Fiction a comeback movie for Travolta, it was a comeback, I guess, in terms of getting to do really good Mo. But people forget when he did Saturday Night Fever, he took a cut of the. Of the sound track. When he did Grease, yeah, he took a cut of the soundtrack that guy was not in any need of a comeback fight. He was fine, you know, so it was just like, oh, I mean, this movie, be in it. Apparently Tarantino had seen Blowout, which when Travolta made it, he had really bad insomnia, which is when you watch it, he's kind of like haunted and foggy and weird. And that's where Tarantino was like, that's the performance I want. I want that character.

[Dana Carvey]

And he did Lucas talking, you know, Tarantino.

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

So he was still out there. But the thing was, is Tarantino has this knack for the casting. That's amazing. And he was going around town with Travolta and he said it was like being with Elvis of the Beatles. This was. He'd already wanted him. That that wave was so big that a three, four year gap or maybe wasn't out there as much. He actually came to visit Saturday Night Live just to see what it was like to be a host. He was just hung out for a week and he talked about, you know, you get your mansion. Forgive the impression, you get your mansion in Maine where it's not so expensive. You fly your plane in there. He was so set to your point. Complete businessman to get a piece of grease. The publishing rights are ridiculous.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Two of the biggest soundtracks in history. And. And you can't ever be that level of fame. You can't. Two in a row. And then he was always famous, but he probably wanted to get another big movie. But hopefully.

[Dana Carvey]

Could I play a game with Patton?

[David Spade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Ooh.

[Dana Carvey]

Two best science fiction movies of the 60s. I'll pick two. Two best science fiction movies of The 70s. David picks the winner.

[David Spade]

I'm too young for this game, but go ahead, I'll play along.

[Dana Carvey]

2.

[Patton Oswalt]

David is a. David is a Dewey Ingenue. Why are we making him do our old man cinema game?

[David Spade]

I will. I will just tell you which ones I've heard of.

[Dana Carvey]

No, I'll be curious. I have a sleeper one that's. That you may not think of.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay, so from the 60s.

[Dana Carvey]

The 60s. Two best from the 60s versus two best from the 70s. I just made this up, by the way.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, that's two best from the 60s. I'll go with Planet of the Apes. Yeah. And which. Which really has aged well and is kind of brilliant. And this is so. It's such an easy pick, but it's such a good movie. 2001 A Space Odyssey is so friggin brilliant.

[Dana Carvey]

This is something you might appreciate when they reissued it at the Arclight it's gone now. I saw it five times over a period of six weeks. And the final time, it was only one guy down below in the dome and me. It was like a private showing. I got possessed by it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. And that's where it literally. It's the center. The screen, like, bent it a little bit.

[David Spade]

It was so widescreen.

[Dana Carvey]

It's ridiculous. It's a meditation. It's so brilliant. I don't even know how Kubrick does it. I want to ask you a quick question, because I just love movies. Why is it that I'll see the modern Planet of the Ape sequels versus King Kong, whatever, with cgi, and they're perfectly okay? What is it about the magic of Planet of the Apes? Why? Even though it was prosthetic makeup, I mean, I have my own ideas. Why does it hold up so brilliantly? I mean, and I have my ideas, but I think you would have the.

[Patton Oswalt]

Same because of what you just said. You know, the limitations they had in terms of technology and makeup. And they still pulled it off and.

[David Spade]

Still is very real.

[Patton Oswalt]

Some of the. Yeah. And some of the shots. That shot of Charlton Heston running, and then they. He almost hits the camera, and then they zip over and rack focus to the gorilla on the horse.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

The big deal. And it's like you're just stunned because it's not. It doesn't pop out. He's just standing in the field, like, doing this thing, which makes it even more freaky when you see it happen. You know, there's just. And. And also not to drop a name whenever I talk to Quentin about that movie. What Quentin loves about that movie is Dr. Zaius is completely right. The villain of the movie is Charlton Heston. Zaius is trying to stop him, and he succeeds. In the end, he's like, walk down that beach. I'll tell you what's. I'll tell you who you are. And he does. He's like, oh, we're the reason, you know?

[David Spade]

Craziest ending, by the way, that gave me the chills.

[Patton Oswalt]

It's still chilling to this day. And when they do, like. Okay, when they show. When you. When you see the Statue of Liberty, no music, just the sound of the waves. And he's there, and we're gone. Like, it's so final.

[Dana Carvey]

Heston in the mature Heston post Ben her. Heston the Soylent Green. Heston the Omega Man. Heston is so magic. One thing also, you know, I was taking my son to see one of the new Planet of the Apes years ago, and the Very first shot is the ape face comes down on the screen. And it was the first reissue. And I remember that 20 minutes of rod Serling, I guess, dialogue in the desert. All this anticipation, as opposed. They get off the ship, they get to the shore, and then they see the monkey on the horse so that, you know, I'm a grumpy old man. But it was so magic just having them philosophize, walking through this planet.

[David Spade]

You know, what about Charlton Heston saying, another crazy big part of a movie, Soylent Green is people. It fucking gave you the chills. You're like, what?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. And they really leave it hanging that they almost. Almost established, like, he's screaming it. And you almost think, I bet if they told all these starving masses that while you're eating recycled people, a chunk of them would go, all right, as long as I don't die.

[David Spade]

Like, it's been worth.

[Patton Oswalt]

Terrifying. Yeah. That's what's so terrifying about it.

[David Spade]

He was screaming at no one.

[Dana Carvey]

No, but Edward G. Robertson in that movie.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, that's the thing about great science fiction, when it hits you that emotionally and you're not even really ready for it. But. Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

By the way, I'm sure you guys. You guys know movies, but I'm not telling you anything you don't know. You know Hal 9000 in 2001?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

You know the joke in that, right?

[Dana Carvey]

No.

[Patton Oswalt]

Hal, go to the next letter of the Alphabet for each of those letters.

[David Spade]

H, IBM.

[Dana Carvey]

Ab.

[Patton Oswalt]

IBM.

[Dana Carvey]

IBM. Okay. Just a little inside.

[David Spade]

A little, like, Easter egg.

[Dana Carvey]

A little Easter egg.

[Patton Oswalt]

A little Easter egg.

[David Spade]

Dana loves that movie. Isn't that one of your top movies ever, Dana?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I would say, well, what's. What's a better topic for a film than how did we get here? And this plausible thing of. That we were seeded by aliens.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And what is a better moment than throwing the bone in the air? Turns to spaceship. I'm sorry, maybe it's cliche at this point.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no. But at the time, that must have also been stunning. And it's also. There's something really. There's another little hidden jab at humanity where at the beginning, the aliens come down, they seed us with intelligence, and they help us fight over a fucking water hole. And we win this hole. We win the hole. And then that bone becomes a satellite going around the moon. And what are we doing on the moon? We're fighting with the Russians over a hole that we've dug in the moon with another thing in it. Like, we're just nothing's actually changed the technology different, but we're all the same. Same fights are going on, same bullshit. So I just love that, that there's that little. Oh, we're just fighting over holes in the ground.

[Dana Carvey]

And what Kubrick did cinematically is he kind of blurred out a little bit the apes. He made it surreal in a way.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

There's a diffusion to it. It's not that detail. And then when they. Yeah, go ahead. I could talk about that forever.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no, no. And a lot of it is.

[Dana Carvey]

We'll have you back. Yeah, go ahead.

[Patton Oswalt]

But a lot of it is shot in long or wide shots, almost like you're watching a nature documentary. They don't bother getting in close because the personalities don't matter. You're just watching the. Oh, fuck. I didn't think about that.

[Dana Carvey]

And then the effect on the. When the ape opens his mouth after winning the battle with the electronic effect on his. On his growl. Like those choices by Kubrick, you just sort of like. I watched the Killing.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh God.

[Dana Carvey]

A couple days ago.

[Patton Oswalt]

Really? Yeah, it's so good.

[Dana Carvey]

I've seen Paths of Glory also on the last year, which blew my mind. Another Kubrick film from the 1950s. But the killing is just. I mean, it's heartbreaking. It was one of the first times I'd seen in a movie. Who was the actor who played the.

[Patton Oswalt]

Sterling Hayden?

[Dana Carvey]

Oh no, not Elijah. Elijah Cook Jr. Poor Elijah Cook. He plays the cuckold. The woman who doesn't love him at all and uses him. And he's so heartbreaking. But anyway, what do you guys think of. Because the time machine.

[Patton Oswalt]

Sorry, go ahead, really quick. I just love that when Sterling Hayden goes to buy the brief the big suitcase to put his money in. He walks out of that pawn shop and there's a poster for a strip club next to him performing that night. Lenny Bruce, which was just. They were on the street and there was. Oh, Lenny Bruce is over there. Okay, great.

[Dana Carvey]

And the little dog. And the money flies everywhere. You know, it's just. It's so great. Time machine. Not saying it's a perfect movie, but I saw that as a kid. And the first part of it with Rod Taylor with the time machine. And you see the clothes changing. Pretty magic.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. And the friggin Morlocks are really disturbing. Just pulling those Eloy down into the ground. Yeah, that stuff is still creepy as hell.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. So anyway, you guys want to talk about movies or stand up?

[David Spade]

No, I want to hear about six pack. Then I will get off of it.

[Dana Carvey]

I figured that's so bad. It's good, right?

[Patton Oswalt]

That is one of those things. Back in the early days of IMDb you could write anything you wanted. And someone added that to my IMDb and I just never changed. I just love that. It's just there. There's also some stuff in my Wikipedia that is so blatantly untrue. But I'm like, I don't want to change it. I love that, like, his comedy deals with cuneiform calligraphy. I'm like, great, leave it there.

[David Spade]

Great.

[Patton Oswalt]

Have it be there. Good.

[David Spade]

I put one in mind about, like, I used to house like baby weasels or something and something dumb that stayed in there forever. And the same thing it asked about, but I just looked up six pack. Gorgeous Diane Lane. Kenny Rogers as Brewster Baker. It just looks like a movie I would have killed.

[Dana Carvey]

Sounds fun.

[David Spade]

Yeah, the poster is exactly that fun. Cartoony, Smokey in the bed, whatever. That style from the old days. Everyone's like a cartoon animated drawing. Yep, looks great. Looks fun.

[Patton Oswalt]

Really quick. I mean, I got to shoot Kenny Rogers on an episode of Reno911, so I got to hung out, hang out for a day with him. And he could not have been a cooler guy. He was just the most chill fun. So I feel like Diane Lane and everyone in that film was like, yeah, we hung out with Kenny Rogers and did a race car movie. Was great.

[David Spade]

Of course, it's.

[Dana Carvey]

So did you ritually assassinate him or you just shot him casually? Were you?

[Patton Oswalt]

He's doing a book signing, and the Reno sheriff department is doing all the security around. They're doing so much security that no one knows what the book signing is, so no one is showing up. And then I'm this crazed guy. They dress me up like Mark David Chapman, and I go, what condition is your condition in, Kenneth? What can. Like, I'm kind of bobbing up and down there to totally ignore me. And then I.

[Dana Carvey]

Sounds funny.

[Patton Oswalt]

And I go, I love you, gambler. And I shoot him in the stomach and run away.

[David Spade]

What a fun.

[Dana Carvey]

The funny part, you're giving him respect. I love you, gambler.

[Patton Oswalt]

I love you, gambler. And then the police, all the Reno guys around him, and he goes, go get the mall security. I need protect. Like, he doesn't want them helping me. Go find mall security, please.

[David Spade]

Here's an impression of a Kenny Rogers concert. He walks out to applause. He starts to sing, and someone goes, do gambler his whole life. Do it. He goes, I already did it at the beginning. Do it again.

[Patton Oswalt]

New gambler, new gambler.

[David Spade]

New Gambler, Gambler.

[Dana Carvey]

Do you find the middle of every song interesting as far as Wikipedia pages? Because when people, they put something on mine too. It's on my Wikipedia page. I was previously married to a woman named Leah. And then people just assumed it was true. And I go, no, it's not true. And then they always go, but you must have known someone named Leah.

[David Spade]

No.

[Dana Carvey]

Was it a completely made up. Well, you might have dated someone or someone. No, no, no, no.

[David Spade]

So she's totally out of the picture now. I don't think you've experienced that.

[Dana Carvey]

People. Well, you must have. No, no, no. They just.

[Patton Oswalt]

It was, it was an acrimonious divorce because you've kept her off your Wikipedia page. Then, right.

[Dana Carvey]

Then they go to that the more.

[David Spade]

So you had a deal.

[Dana Carvey]

Sounds like you're hiding something.

[David Spade]

You have an NDA.

[Patton Oswalt]

There's, there's no way to ever escape it.

[David Spade]

It's always guilty and then, then cuts.

[Patton Oswalt]

It like five years later. So you're married to a woman named Leah. Yeah, yeah, I was.

[Dana Carvey]

Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

I was like, you just completely beat me.

[Dana Carvey]

Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah, Leah.

[David Spade]

Ever think of getting back with Leah?

[Dana Carvey]

I got Leah off camera right now. David and comedy fans, I assume you are a comedian and a comedy fan. Guess what? And by the way, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour. And you know what, David? You can get tickets to see them live near you. You're going to laugh with some of the biggest names in comedy. Otsuko Okatsuka.

[David Spade]

Yep. We got Sebastian Maniscalco, who's friend of the show. Got Santino, Andrew Santino, of course.

[Dana Carvey]

Brian Regan.

[David Spade]

Yeah, Brian Regan is great. Chelsea Handler and Dane, Dane. Just recently. Swartzen, Nick Swartzen, Nick Swartz.

[Dana Carvey]

Buddy of ours, Sarah Silverman. Yeah. So it's a great list of comedians that Live Nation is presenting to you. So don't be square. Be there.

[David Spade]

All kinds of shows, all kind of venues, all kinds of comedy. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.com comedy. Okay, Dana, you know, I like to gamble a bit. I'm just, I'm not like, oh, yeah, too deep in it. But I take a little bit of the Joe Dirt money now and then and the reruns do a little this and that. But this is, this is about BetMGM now. You can follow and tag BETMGM across all your socials and that gets you in the mix. This is the sportsbook. Born in Vegas. They have a thing called Second Chance on first Touchdown scorer, let me break it down for you all season long.

[Dana Carvey]

Break that down.

[David Spade]

Yeah, please. BETMGM is offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet. So when a customer bets a wager on a first touchdown scorer bet and he does not score first, but scores Second, we return 100% of their stake back in cash. This is crazy talk.

[Dana Carvey]

You've officially gone to cuckoo land, and I hope you're coming back because you are not in the real world right now.

[David Spade]

One Flew over the Cuckoo's app.

[Dana Carvey]

I bet ones at the first touchdown would be the first one, and I want a fortune.

[David Spade]

Some of these are good offers. They're like, if the touchdown is scored by even a soccer player, you win.

[Dana Carvey]

It's like, oh, that's right. If.

[David Spade]

So, anyway, it's a good situation.

[Dana Carvey]

The back of a Dodge Dart in the parking lot, you get a pretty penny.

[David Spade]

Okay, listen, I'll just tell you that's good. BetMGM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. Bet MGM and Game Sense remind you to gamble responsibly. See betmgm.com for terms 21 + only. This U.S. promotional spot is not available in Ontario. Gambling problem. Call 1-800- GAMBLER available in the U.S. for New York, call 8778 Hope NY or text Hopeny. That's 467-369. For Arizona, call 1-800. Next step from Massachusetts, 1-800-327-5050. Iowa, 1-800-bets off. For Puerto Rico, 1, 800-981-0023. Subject to eligibility requirements in partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. Oh, what about Down Periscope? Listen, I.

[Dana Carvey]

Now, okay, let's get into some.

[David Spade]

Yeah, what year was that?

[Patton Oswalt]

Because.

[David Spade]

Because, listen, I. Down Periscope.

[Dana Carvey]

It's fun movie.

[David Spade]

You know, stupid. Dana and I are the same manager. And he's like, got a movie for you. Down periscope. They want to see you. All you got to do is show up, go have a meeting. And I'm like, okay. And he goes, let me ask you something. They just told me you're the only guy that came into a movie with the part and left without it. I go, why? What happened?

[Dana Carvey]

He goes, a nice manager.

[David Spade]

He goes, you talked him out of you. I go, because whatever the part was, I didn't think it was right for me. And so I kind of expressed. Just talked to him about it and left thinking, I don't know what I'll do when I get this offer. And he goes, oh, there's no offer. They Said you walked in and told me you didn't want to do it. I go, no, no, no. I just said. And then I was like. I kind of did. I don't know. That was the weirdest meeting I've ever had, because that's what happened. But down periscope.

[Patton Oswalt]

I go.

[David Spade]

It was sort of up my alley.

[Patton Oswalt]

Maybe it was.

[David Spade]

I was playing the exact same thing. I just played something stupid. I don't know.

[Dana Carvey]

What year was that, by the way?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, 95.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay, so you were already. You were famous at that point.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no, no. I had done one.

[Dana Carvey]

But not you. Patton, you were not. But David.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no, no, David was.

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah. Well, what did you do in that? Let's see. I'm trying to figure out this movie. Kelsey Grammer was the lead.

[Patton Oswalt]

I literally have one line. It's what got me my. My SAG card.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, funny.

[Patton Oswalt]

A year before.

[David Spade]

Down IMDb cast. I'm running out of batteries.

[Patton Oswalt]

Exactly. Keep going. Plug. Plug your laptop in.

[Dana Carvey]

David's never done this on the podcast. This is very cool that you're looking up stuff.

[David Spade]

I'm looking up stuff because I looked up the Killing, and I looked up.

[Dana Carvey]

I know. Well, I already. It's one of my favorite podcasts ever been on. I love talking about movies.

[David Spade]

Do older people. Like, I was trying to do it all.

[Dana Carvey]

I could do it literally all day. I'll talk about Up Periscope or Down Periscope in the sequel. Up Periscope all day Long.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, it was. It was one of those movies where I was just in the background, but I was established in the background, so I was there, like, almost every day and got to hang out with Toby Huss and Rob Schneider and just. And just, like, talking to. And we're just, like, hanging out. It was really, really fun and just listening to people's stories, you know? And because I'd never been in a movie, I was like, I don't know what this is. And everyone just put you. And then at one point, I. Cause then I got a writing job on Mad tv. And they went, you have to start next week. And I'm like, oh, God. And I went to the director, I said, look, I have to start this writing job.

[David Spade]

We have to shut down production for a while.

[Patton Oswalt]

You're gonna need it. Can we mothball this submarine set?

[Dana Carvey]

I'll tell Kelsey.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, I'll break it to him. No, but. But the director was. Oh, hey. He was so chilly. He's like, yeah. And this next scene, when they. When they succeed, like, they do this Whole war game thing. Just get up and walk down the hall like you walk off. So I physically just walk off of a submarine. I guess in the middle of this movie, I'm just gone.

[David Spade]

I love it.

[Patton Oswalt]

All right, I got to go start another job.

[Dana Carvey]

Can.

[Patton Oswalt]

You know.

[Dana Carvey]

And as far as when you did this, because it overlaps with a. You're younger than I am, but you spent three years in San Francisco in the San Francisco's comedy scene. So there's a familiarity with people I know and you know. Or Larry Bubbles Brown or Mark Pitta. Mark Pitta, whatever. Larry Bubbles Brown. I. I talk to him all the time. He's one of the sweetest guys.

[David Spade]

Bennett.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Alex Bennett. I love Bennett. I love Larry Bubbles Brown so much. I remember one night I was standing outside the Holy City Zoo and Larry Bubbles Brown was, like, headlining. And I'm standing out there with Kevin Kataoka and some other comedians, and this couple walks by and they're like, larry Bubbles. I keep hearing that name. He's a comedian. What does he do? And as you're saying that the door to the police opens like someone went outside to get smoked. And you just hear, suck it, whore. And then the door closes so perfect.

[David Spade]

Like, to see.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, that's what he does. Okay, good.

[Dana Carvey]

He's the one that. When we were doing Secret Life of Pets 2 Press, you brought up where he and I are possessed by John Wayne because we're such cowards that he's. We love that John Wayne isn't only never afraid in his movies, but he's literally furious at the idea that anyone else could be afraid.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes. He's just so. In the. In the Searchers, he's like, yelling at people for being upset that other people have been.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. He's in a submarine with Walter Brennan. It's like, well, take her down, Pappy. We can't take her down. The whole submarine's gonna explode. I said take her down. You'll take her down all right. Don't make me do what I did last time. But he never says what he did. But anyway, we riffed on that for five hours in a car. And it was.

[Patton Oswalt]

You had him as the Pope at one point. And it was so friggin funny, him trying to do, like, the Catholic mass. But it has that John Wayne.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Outrage attitude to it. Made it even better.

[Dana Carvey]

I'm not sure I believe Duke. I'm losing my faith. You'll believe what I tell you to believe. Happy. I'm the Pope, for crying out loud. But we. We use it all the time, just to bolster ourselves.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

What?

[David Spade]

Did you ever work with Bobcat? Was he around?

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, one of the first. Right when I was starting becoming a comedian, I got to see him at the Warner Theater in D.C. and then he let me come backstage and talk to him for a bit, and we've since become friends. I'm actually. I'm attending his wedding reception this Sunday.

[David Spade]

Wait, it's Bob or Tasha?

[Patton Oswalt]

Bob. Kat. And. Oh, what is his new bride's name? I'm blanking on her name.

[David Spade]

Oh, I was thinking he has a daughter named Tasha.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, his daughter's name, Tasha.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

And she's. She's like. I think she's a costumer now. She does wardrobe.

[David Spade]

Oh, how fun. I haven't seen her since she.

[Dana Carvey]

Isn't he from Indiana or is he living there now or.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, he lives in India. He lives in Indiana, and he owns these two ducks. And he traveled cross country with these ducks. He has these pet ducks and was sneaking them into hotels. And at his wedding, the ducks were the two. Like, they went down the aisle with their little bow ties to him. Like, he's just. I know he's originally from Boston, and he. He directed my third to last special, and his daughter did all the wardrobe for me. Yeah. So he was just. He's such a brilliant director who's such a. I mean, we're such good friends. I'm so.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, you and he would match up nicely. He is incredibly interesting to talk to, Dana.

[David Spade]

He got me when I did a Police Academy movie. I think some people knew that he was in it, so I was doing standup. I was new, but he. He helped me out. I opened for him for a while. You know, he told me he's a good piece of advice. Patton.

[Patton Oswalt]

What?

[David Spade]

Let me hear this. I was. I was on the road with him, and he was doing, like, fucking two, three thousand seaters, you know?

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, yeah.

[David Spade]

And he throw. And it's really different to be a newer comic and do a club and then do a big theater. And so he said, the reason you're getting heckled so much, first of all, it's another way for saying bombing was. He said, quit asking the audience questions. He said, every bit started with, have you guys seen this new Michael Jackson video? And they all go, no. And then I go, have you seen this John Wayne movie? And they're like. For some reason, he goes, quit starting with that. Just say, I saw this new Michael Jackson video, and don't give him a chance to jump In I was like, oh, that's such a great observation. Because it was. I was leaving myself open. Every premise and I'd get interrupted and then I was spinning out. So that really helped a lot of it. That shows you my act. Have you seen 7 11? Everyone's like, exercising.

[Patton Oswalt]

You hear this exercising thing?

[David Spade]

Yeah, have you heard of it? I'm waiting for an answer. These are rhetorical. By the way.

[Dana Carvey]

How many years were you in when you had that revelation?

[David Spade]

That was like two years. Okay, Phoenix, a little too late.

[Patton Oswalt]

I used to love going to watching like open mics even when I was an open micro. And you would see people that they understood the rhythm of comedy, but they didn't understand how you used it in context. So they knew all that. So I remember seeing a guy, I've never forgotten this. He was on stage, he's like, yeah, the black on black crime is really getting out of hand. Right ladies? No, that's not like.

[David Spade]

Bring the ladies into it.

[Patton Oswalt]

You're like, no, guy, that's not how you.

[Dana Carvey]

That doesn't. It's something not working there. Abort the mission. Abort the mission.

[David Spade]

Am I right, fellas?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, fellas, give me. Back me up. I just, I love stuff like that. That, that whole. When you have to. Sometimes you learn the rhythm before the content. And that can make for some really, really funny moments.

[Dana Carvey]

What was your go to club in San Francisco then? Did you ever play Rooster Tea Feathers down on the peninsula?

[David Spade]

Hilarious.

[Dana Carvey]

Hilarious in Sunnyvale? Did you?

[Patton Oswalt]

I played. Well, okay, I played Rooster Tea Feathers once. And then he never asked me back because his mom didn't like me mom.

[Dana Carvey]

And she was at the door collecting the money.

[David Spade]

Oh, really?

[Patton Oswalt]

I just think he's mean and he seems upset and I just, he. I'm uncomfortable when I come on stage. And then I said to the guy, I go, well, is your mom buying a room full of drinks? He's like, that doesn't matter. Then that's what sealed my fate. Like, I shouldn't have mouthed off, but I couldn't.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh yeah, I'd headline and I'd say, I have a couple guests and it would be a kerfuffle. She'd be like, well, what can't they pay? Or what? Well, I'm the headliner.

[David Spade]

I mean, I fucking was. Well, I was opening. You were the headliner. But I went down there and stayed at some dog shit hotel. I walked a mile the next day. Cause I didn't bring any money. Well, I didn't have any. I just said I didn't bring anybody and have any to bring. So I walked down after one show and I said, hey, can I get a draw? And I think it was her. And then she said, a draw of what? I go, I just need some money. This is a secret.

[Dana Carvey]

They give you an ice cold beer and push you out.

[David Spade]

The secret is, you know, you want to get borrow some money for the week that you're going to make that week. So eight shows, I'm probably making $400.

[Dana Carvey]

But a draw something.

[David Spade]

She goes, how much? I go, I don't know, maybe 100 bucks just for food for the week. And she goes, you've only worked off about 77. And I'm like. She goes, I can give you that. I go, am I going to make a break for it now? I mean, the show's in four hours. I'm coming back just in case. Here's your 71, 72. And I was like, jesus, I love that.

[Patton Oswalt]

I love the Deadwood mentality of like, well, you panned this much gold, so we can give you, we can give you $2 or a clean woman. Which one do you want?

[David Spade]

I'll take one chicken.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I'll have a whole chicken and a 25 cent beer.

[David Spade]

Bag of seed.

[Dana Carvey]

I'll work for that. I'll work for Pete Moss.

[David Spade]

Yeah. I didn't go, give me a couple of grand and I will. She goes, oh, you're only making 400. I'll worry about that. She's like, oh, that's what I should have. Go high. And then I go, I'll settle for 400.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wow.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you, did you play the other cafe? I'm just curious. I was that still around?

[Patton Oswalt]

It was around. Wait a minute. It was around but it had moved. It wasn't in the.

[Dana Carvey]

It wasn't Carl and Cole different?

[Patton Oswalt]

No, it was over in like Emeryville. And it was. I played it once and then it closed. It was that and fubars. And like when I moved there because I left the East coast in 92, I started in 88, right as the boom was ending. So like as I started, I saw clubs starting to close. So then I went from D.C. to San Francisco and when I arrived in San Francisco, there was the zoo, the punchline, the other cafe Fubs. Three times. He's Cobbs, which I finally, which I passed out after like six months. I got to become the house mc, which was like, oh, oh God, I made it. But then as I got there, all the clubs started to close and I heard the stories about when the other cafe Was in the hate. Like legendary stories about shows where like Bob Rubin would, in the middle of his set, would like just leave and get on a bus. And people would like looking to see the bus just pull away. Like that was our. What the heck? Like just these insane things that would go.

[Dana Carvey]

There was a big window and the people on the street. So I was headlining one night and there was a lesbian club called Mods down the block. And these teenagers or 8th graders or whatever, just for fun, went over and harassed them. So there was melee in the intersection. Everyone in the club could see it to a left, a right to the body throwing by. I mean, just a huge, huge riot.

[David Spade]

You're up there going, dogs are funny.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And your back is to like this fight.

[Dana Carvey]

Did you ever notice.

[David Spade]

Has anyone ever been to a post office?

[Dana Carvey]

I just sat down and pointed. That was my set. Did you guys.

[Patton Oswalt]

You guys did Cobb's back in the day then, right?

[Dana Carvey]

Incarnations. There was one down in the marina.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

And then he went to a nicer one and then he finally got to the one that exists today right over on Broadway.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wherever, which I did last week. It was really fun.

[David Spade]

It's a good one. Yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

By the way, did you see David tells Special, which he shot there.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Dana Carvey]

That's 36 minutes long. Go ahead, I'll let you talk about it.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no, that's. I was about to say that it is this. It's like the Ramones first album in the middle of. Right. Right now there's a lot of comedy specials that I think are getting a little too big and grandiose. It's like right now we're in the Emerson, Lake and Palmer era of comedy specials. And he just put out Rocket to Russia. He's like, no, strip down. Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. 30. This is what it is. It was. I love that special so much.

[Dana Carvey]

I thought it was the special of the year or whatever. Blown away by how tight it was. And I was just curious whether they sort of made Cobbs a little more intimate or. I wasn't sure what they did, but compared to that whole. Because the managers and the agents want you in front of 3,000 people. So you'll get booked in front of 3,000. You work out your set in 200, 100 seaters. And then you go to the Cavern. You know, it's like.

[David Spade]

Yeah, then they are tougher. The ceilings are so high. And you know, you can still do well, but there's nothing like.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, if you're doing act outs like Patton does a lot of Acting with your material and little looks and things and just, you know, small clubs must be really nice for you. I 400 seaters.

[Patton Oswalt]

The new Adam Sandler special looks amazing. Small, intimate, raw. I My next special, I'm either going to shoot it. I just did a club. I'd never done a comedy on Maine in Madison, Wisconsin. And oh, my God, it was one of the best weekends I've ever had. Like, it's so small, it's so intimate. And I'm like, why am I doing these massive theaters where I'm having to do this? And you're just completely wired into the crowd. It was amazing.

[Dana Carvey]

That was another cafe. It was 70. The one in Carl and Cole. 70. Really low ceilings and no hard alcohol and no blender. That's where everything came from. Me and Paula Pounds.

[David Spade]

Well, you're three feet from the bar.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I'm there working at church. Like, what is that?

[David Spade]

Dude, I did a theater. I won't say what city, but it was a new theater. And in the back was. There's a balcony. There's a lower, but in the way back, you see light. And I realize it's a full bar.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yep.

[David Spade]

But people are back there mingling, and it's a little distracting for me. That's directly in my eye line. And they have your back towards you, some of them, and they're laughing because they're like, hey, we can serve drinks the whole time. And if they want to just walk out there for 15 minutes and drink, it's fine. If there's a door, like a swing, you know, they get out of there, but they're just fucking blah, blah, blah. I'm like. I'm watching them the whole set, and they're just. And then I hear a laugh and they go like this. Huh? Is that guy still on? Yeah, the guy you paid to come see is still on.

[Dana Carvey]

When did comedy clubs become steakhouses? Like, I was playing one of the improvs, Irvine, and there it's a full giant. You know, they're coming out with giants, and I'm trying to work. What's up? You know, and they're just digging in, and, you know, I love it.

[David Spade]

Who got a porterhouse?

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah, I mean, I.

[Patton Oswalt]

You're right. You're right. It's like full meals. So at the end of it, look, the check drop is always difficult. Well, yeah, but they're like, at least in the comedy club, the check drop is. Well, we got three beers and we got mozzarella sticks. But now they're like, well, now, hang on Cause you didn't say the sides with the steak were extra. I thought. Cause I chose, like, there's a whole.

[David Spade]

Who had the caviar on the.

[Dana Carvey]

I thought the au grat and potatoes came with the entree. I had. No, I didn't see it on sides. Show me where it's on sides. You're closing with some bit about a whole.

[Patton Oswalt]

Peppers.

[David Spade]

Yeah. Dennis, in here.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Blue Nile.

[Dana Carvey]

Dana.

[David Spade]

I don't have to tell you about. I do not. They're the one guy I don't have to tell about, but I will. Yeah, Blue Nile, you will. This is the time of year Blue Nile blows up the hardest. Because if you're looking back at your amazing memories from 2024, maybe you're in love, maybe you're looking at 2025. What are your plans? Maybe they involve getting engaged. Right. You're making a big step. You can source your engagement ring from blue nile.com.

[Dana Carvey]

Blue Nile. Why do all the work when Blue Nile will do it for you? Do you know, David, Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999? Did you know that?

[David Spade]

I actually recall that. But do you know, Dana, the only time we say each other's names is during these.

[Dana Carvey]

Right. That's what's funny.

[David Spade]

They offer a diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases they can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. And you can feel great about the purchase because you got a great one and you got it for less.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. The thing about Blue Nile, David, they're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. So you can feel great about that, too.

[David Spade]

Yeah, there's. Jewelry is a tough word. I don't know if you say it right.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

Blue Nile orders are insured and they arrive incognito, you know, so you don't have to worry about that. They got guaranteed service and repairs for life, guaranteed free shipping and return. I mean, there's so much going on there.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. And you know you're going to want to hear things. There's things you want to hear in life after your other significant other opens up their incredible Blue Nile gift. Oh, honey, you shouldn't have. Oh, I love you, honey. This is beautiful, honey. Where did you get it? Bob's Jewelry Store? No, Blue Nile.

[David Spade]

Blue Nile. Oh, honey, it's so bright and blinding.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah. This is. Come on.

[David Spade]

One more unforgettable memory for 2024. Right now, go to blue nile.com, use code FLY for 50 bucks off your purchase of $500 or more.

[Dana Carvey]

That's $50. Off with [e-mail] Blue Nile Robert Half.

[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

Do you remember that specific compliment I gave you when we ran into each other 10 years ago?

[Patton Oswalt]

I don't.

[Dana Carvey]

There was some bit that you did and I've heard there's something about it was someone masturbating in a tunnel or something. You told the whole bit from their point of view and your point of view and I just thought it was such first level writing, you know?

[Patton Oswalt]

Thanks, man. It was. Yeah. That was when I. The three months that I lived in New York, I was, I was doing this play and I stupidly brought my dog with me and it was just, you like New York if you're not used to it. It is a real assault, you know. And the only way I could deal with it was, okay, put yourself in the head of the person that's driving you insane. A lot of the nutty people in the street and think of how they're looking at it and maybe that'll make some more sense to you. But yeah, I was trying to. I don't want to go to the whole bit because the bit is so grim and awful. I don't know how excited it's memorable, but it's really grim. I mean, you guys lived in New York for years. You must have seen so much stuff where you're like, I have to disassociate myself from this. This is too much.

[David Spade]

You're not ready for it until you get used to it. Then people come visit and they go, you see this every day. And you're like, I guess I do. It took me a second, but now I'm.

[Dana Carvey]

I was driving in a cab once and across the way a guy just picked up his girlfriend and just body slammed her, put her over the head. And it's like, jesus, God.

[David Spade]

What happened when you ran over to help?

[Dana Carvey]

Well, I wasn't that guy in the story. Slow down, fellas.

[David Spade]

Point of view of the girl, she was okay.

[Dana Carvey]

I don't want people to be bummed out. She was actually got up and was mad or liked.

[Patton Oswalt]

There was a story. David you told it was either on Letterman or Conan where you had a. Because you're from Arizona, right?

[David Spade]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

So you had a friend from Arizona come visit you in New York and. But they were doing the classic friend from out of town where you're like, well, we'll go do this. You're like, I can do that in Arizona. But, like, clearly I want the darkest, most fucked up stuff. And you have to go. Even us New Yorkers don't go searching for that. I think you think that I have the key to some portal of madness. But I actually, that's not what I. And he's like, I can do that. Like, that landed so hard for me because I've had friends, when they come visit you, like, show me the weird shit. I'm like, I don't do the weird shit.

[David Spade]

Or I go with Saturday Night Live. And on Sunday, Sunday, wake up. And I go, what are you doing? I go, I got to do laundry in the basement. I can do laundry in Arizona. Let's go to the Golden Gate Bridge. I go, well, that's not here. But it's. It's a, it's a longer walk than you think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go to. And then they have all these things they want to do. I'm like, oh, we're really going to go to the Statue of Liberty today.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Spade]

What a production. By the way, Pat, we got. Let's talk about your game show right before we get out of here. We've milked you long enough.

[Dana Carvey]

But I actually, honestly, without no ass kissing, I put it on and I think it's really good.

[Patton Oswalt]

Thank you.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean, in other words, your sides were great. I don't know if it was the first episode, but it's a very tight, interesting game. I mean, I'm just saying that it is within like one minute. You're like, okay, this is interesting. Well, it's my takeaway.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, it's a British game show where they ask questions that have nothing to do with the amount of schooling you've had or knowledge. It's all, can you follow logic and put it together? So what's kind of fun about the show is. And you work your way toward the. The first question is the 90% question, which 90% of people that they poll get rights. It's very easy. And then it ends with the 1% question that only 1% of people. But what's weird is because everyone's brain is wired differently and you'll watch the show and there's a 60% question that you'll go out on, but then you keep watching and go, I know the 5%. I know that. Like it. And you'll see, like, people with PhDs and nanotechnology getting smoked by someone who's working as a barista and doesn't know what they want to do with their life. But their logic centers are so much stronger that they put it together.

[David Spade]

It's so hard to find a game show. They're all trying to do it because if you crack that code, you get people just sort of interested that that's it. That's it. That takes a long run and it's hard to get. And right away that sounds just sort of interesting. Like when you watch and you go. And you're about to walk away, then you go, let me just hear this answer.

[Dana Carvey]

And then you go, oh, that's the one.

[David Spade]

I knew that. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, well, let me hear the next one. Yeah, and that's what happens. People sit around with their family and they go, oh, I got that one. Did you get this one? You know, that's fun for people.

[Dana Carvey]

And it's syndicated right from Britain, so Ricky Gervais gets a check, I assume.

[Patton Oswalt]

Everything syndicated from Britain. Ricky Gervais, it was a British show that. Oh, God, I'm blanking on his name. But there was a British host, and then there was an Australian version and then a Venezuelan version, and I'm the American version, and it's really. And David Spade, you are a fellow game show host, are you not?

[Dana Carvey]

Snake Oil.

[David Spade]

Welcome to Snake Oil.

[Patton Oswalt]

Snake Oil.

[Dana Carvey]

Snake Oil.

[David Spade]

Wearing a hiatus. But, yeah, Snake Oil was. You know, all these things are interesting. Sometimes they're a little harder than it seems because, you know, they go, we're going to do one. It'll take us about three days. I'm like, wait, what's going on? Yeah, and then you get it down. But there's a lot of stopping and starting and there's a lot of. Maybe this isn't with you. But so much focus on the rules because it's so legal. They have to get everyone to understand.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, boy. Yes, they do. And they have to make sure. I don't know about your show. Do they have, like, lawyers in the wings that are.

[David Spade]

They have to make sure.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm sorry, but this. And they have to go over there and talk to them.

[David Spade]

Yeah, we had a woman that was a little older and she was going to the final round, and I said, if you want to bet 3, 4, 5 of whatever, I go 5. You win the most, but it's the hardest. Blah, blah. And she goes, all my money on five. And she goes, yay. The crowd is yelling. And then we stopped and we go. And so someone from the audience goes, she doesn't get it. And so I said, as a host, I go, do you understand what it is when you bet all five? That's all your money. And she goes, I don't. And I go, okay, let's take a five. And so we stopped, and then the producers literally came out and they explained it to her and the celebrity. And then she goes, I got it now. And then we went on, but I was like, oh, my God, that's how fast it can happen. They get caught up in the crowd and everything.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yep.

[David Spade]

And she was embarrassed, but then she figured it out because it is kind of complicated, all these game shows, until you start to know them. That's why they hammer the rules over and over. Every commercial. You come back here instead of your three funny jokes. Will you explain the rules again?

[Dana Carvey]

No, this one's. I think the 1% has it down. At least what I saw, that it's boom, boom, boom, boom. All the information stacked.

[David Spade]

The way you explained it. I got it.

[Patton Oswalt]

And we zip along. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Dana Carvey]

And zip, zip.

[Patton Oswalt]

And also, I mean, this is probably the same with you. It's a lot of. It's crowd work. You got to talk to people, get their story, you know, make it like a human thing going on. And if you got. You make fun that way.

[Dana Carvey]

Keep it light. Little ad libs and things.

[Patton Oswalt]

Keep it light. And you have to, like, when someone loses, you gotta send them home gently. I'm so. You know, you don't want to be like, oh, I got. You want to be a warm host and kind of move it along.

[David Spade]

I literally.

[Dana Carvey]

Amazon prime, right?

[David Spade]

Oh, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Well, it's on.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, it's okay. It's on Fox on Monday nights, and the next day it streams on Amazon.

[Dana Carvey]

Okay. So you can get it either way.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, either way.

[David Spade]

Easy, easy, easy.

[Dana Carvey]

Fantastic.

[David Spade]

Thank you.

[Patton Oswalt]

You were saying?

[David Spade]

I was just saying that someone lost. And I go, okay, we're gonna walk you out. It's after that door. It's about a mile and a half, and you're in lot C, and the buses aren't running today. And. But it's. It's not bad. And then they were like, yeah, obviously that's all cut out, but good try.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[David Spade]

And I'm like, is there anything I said left in? They're like, well, not much because we got the game we got. And I'm like, okay, got it, got it.

[Dana Carvey]

It's kind of a funny observation because isn't it interesting when you're in a set that's all glowing like a game show set and you're in there all day and all the lights and then you bash open the doors and it's all bright and asphalt and it's just like.

[Patton Oswalt]

Exactly. You also realize, oh, the brightness of the set wasn't real brightness. This is the sun. Oh, okay. Wait a minute. I'm a creature of showbiz. Coming out in the daylight. I don't belong out here.

[Dana Carvey]

It's got a hard out house. Where's that from? Oh, that is, of course, Planet the Man. Yeah.

[David Spade]

Thanks, buddy. I learned a lot. You're hilarious to talk to. Thanks.

[Dana Carvey]

That was so, so much fun to talk about the killings and to talk about Planet of the Apes and stand up.

[Patton Oswalt]

Look, really, I'll leave you on this. On the killing. There's a scene where that the big bald chess guy starts a fight in the bar. And according to legend, I don't think it's him, but there's a guy in the background who looks so much like a young Rodney Dangerfield. And a lot of people think that Rodney Dangerfield is an extra in that scene, but I don't think it's him. But go give it a look and see what you think. Yeah, yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, I was an ugly baby, Johnny. I was an ugly baby when I was born. The doctor slapped my mother. I tell you, I was ugly. It's all these YouTube shorts. If you click on Rodney once, you just want to laugh. You just go, yeah. This guy does acid humor and it's his jokes.

[Patton Oswalt]

It's so hard. When I'm on the road, I'll go down YouTube rabbit holes till 4 in the morning. Watching him like just when he was incredible.

[Dana Carvey]

Oh, Pat, there's something about my dentist.

[Patton Oswalt]

My teeth are turning yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.

[Dana Carvey]

And it's just. And it's the relentless. I don't. I mean, I was told that he has his act recorded and he listens to it all day. Used to. Sorry.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wow.

[Dana Carvey]

He would listen to it all day because it was so many one liners.

[David Spade]

Too many.

[Patton Oswalt]

I believe it. Yeah, I believe it.

[Dana Carvey]

Yep.

[David Spade]

Okay, bud. Take care.

[Dana Carvey]

All right. Have a good day.

[Patton Oswalt]

Thank you so much. See you guys.

[Dana Carvey]

That was fun hanging out.

[David Spade]

See you, bud. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, Leave a Like a review all this stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is. Wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.