RE-RELEASE - Nikki Glaser

Summary

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Episode: RE-RELEASE – Nikki Glaser
Release Date: September 1, 2025
Podcast Host: Audacy
Guests: Nikki Glaser

Episode Overview

In this special re-release, Dana Carvey and David Spade sit down with stand-up comic and roast master Nikki Glaser. The conversation takes listeners deep inside Nikki’s comedy journey, the pressures and behind-the-scenes drama of high-profile roasts (specifically the Tom Brady Roast), the mental game of competing in comedy, and the emotional costs of fame. The episode is rich in personal anecdotes, insight into modern comedy craft, stories from the road, and lots of candid, hilarious banter among real friends.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nikki’s Stand-Up Origins and Relationship With Fame

• Nikki’s Living Arrangements & Lifestyle

  • Talks about living in Missouri, not owning a car, renting her home, and spending big on experiences (notably Taylor Swift tickets), showing a surprisingly traditional and frugal side.
    • “I bought my mom a car and then I took her car, and so I’m driving my mom’s car.” (04:31, Nikki)

• Parental Support & Comedy as Only Option

  • Nikki’s father is a musician who took a safe job in cable; he supported her unconditionally as she broke into comedy. It took “eight years to the day” before she was independent. (06:04, Nikki)
  • There was no backup plan: “My plan B was kill myself someday…I had just no chance that it wasn’t going to happen. I never let in a thought that it wouldn’t happen.” (06:18, Nikki)

• Initial Gigs & Comedy Spark

  • First set was while she struggled with an eating disorder in college; comedy became both an outlet and a means of social survival.
  • “Because I looked so scary and no one wanted to be my friend, I just became loud and funny…that was when I started hearing, you should be a comedian.” (11:24, Nikki)

2. Motivations: Fame, Competition, and Survival

• Dana and David’s Early Career Mindset

  • Both hosts reminisce about low-paying gigs and how even minimal success meant “this is my job now.”
    • “If this is what I do to make money on planet Earth this would be a good way to go.” (07:55, Dana)

• The Drive for Fame, Acceptance, and Love

  • Nikki is candid about her need for external validation and acceptance.
    • “For me, being famous is just being loved…it’s a survival instinct.” (14:54, Nikki)
  • Dana shares he never chased “rich and famous”—he just aimed for advancement in the club scene.

• The Evolution of Public Opinion

  • David notes the benefit of being a familiar face (“mostly a positive opinion,” 15:41, David), while Nikki analyzes how evolutionary psychology feeds the need to be known and loved by others.

3. The Competitive Comedy Mindset & Roast Preparation

• Roasts as Competition

  • Nikki describes the drive to “win” at roasts as an acceptable outlet for stand-up competitiveness.
    • “That’s why I like roasts: I finally found a way in comedy to compete...who’s the best? That brings out that nature.” (16:04, Nikki)

• The Tom Brady Roast: Preparation, Pressure, and Glitches

  • Nikki offers a detailed, behind-the-scenes look at the Tom Brady Roast, highlighting:
    • Nerve-wracking overlaps (e.g., Kevin Hart + Nikki having nearly the same joke and the scramble to recover live on-stage; 19:23–20:56).
    • The “standing ovation” moment and Kevin’s generosity, which amplified her set’s success.
    • The unwritten etiquette among comics preparing for roasts—not poaching or overhearing each others’ material.
      • “When they're practicing roast jokes...the other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own—they go we’re not allowed to see each other.” (36:49, David)

• Crafting the Perfect Roast Set

  • Nikki describes maniacal preparation (“I worked for a month on perfecting every word…” 18:15), trial runs in clubs, and dealing with teleprompter snafus.
  • The psychological calculus of joke overlap, live adjustments, and taking risks for the biggest impact.

4. Vulnerability, Jealousy, and Supporting Other Comics

• Jealousy in Comedy & Lifting Other Women

  • Nikki confesses her “viciously competitive” streak and how she actively fights it by publicly supporting other up-and-coming female comics.
    • “Instead of when I feel like ‘go away bitch’ I post it on my Instagram story and say ‘this girl's hilarious’...” (32:17, Nikki)

• Rumors, Bullying, and Club Politics

  • Nikki recounts being on the receiving end of malicious rumors (being accused of sleeping for stage time, joke stealing) which drove her to move clubs and cities, and the lasting sting and industry-wide prevalence of “schadenfreude.” (34:02–35:37)

5. The Emotional Aftermath of Roasts

• How Roasts Hit Differently Depending on Who’s Roasting

  • Nikki distinguishes between being roasted by strangers (easy to take) versus by friends (those jokes “sting more and stay with you”; 49:28–50:13).

• Tom Brady’s Real-Time Reactions

  • Nikki reads his facial expressions during the roast as genuine discomfort. Surprised that, despite being an executive producer, Tom hadn't seen all the jokes in advance and felt some material cut too close. (41:01–42:18)
    • “He looks really tight smile tight…he looks devastated…” (41:01, Nikki)

• What the Roasting Revealed

  • Consensus: The event made Brady seem more human and vulnerable, forever associating his brand with this new public scrutiny (43:16–44:35).

6. Craft, Discipline, and New Standards in Comedy

• Modern Comic Discipline

  • Nikki, Dana, and David reflect on how contemporary comics are more methodical—treating sets like “a college essay,” frequently taping and revising, with shows often prepared alongside personal assistants or writers for maximum polish.
    • “Why am I not treating my specials like if I was a feature film?” (62:06, Nikki)

• Social Media’s Impact

  • The new Netflix-catalyzed, social-media-fueled exposure gives roasts and specials longer afterlives than broadcast replays ever could.
    • “Now you get the benefit of TikTok, Instagram…old roast clips are just so sticky online.” (64:05, Nikki)

• Touring, Vegas Residencies, and Reusing Material

  • The practical matter of bringing material from specials into live sets—are you “allowed” to, and does anyone notice or care?
    • “I work so hard on it... and who saw it?” (66:23, David)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Not Having a Plan B:
  • “My plan B was kill myself someday…I guess I’ll just—I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t find an ‘in’ some way.” — Nikki Glaser (06:18)
• On Competition in Comedy:
  • “That’s why I like roasts…I finally found a way in comedy to compete, and in a way that I feel comfortable…” — Nikki Glaser (16:04)
• On Kevin Hart’s Generosity at the Roast:
  • “Kevin…went up and was like quoting people’s jokes…he literally goes, I want everyone to know, in case you didn’t see it at home, Nikki got a standing ovation…” — Nikki Glaser (22:46)
• On Supporting Other Female Comics:
  • “Instead of when I feel like ‘go away bitch,’ I post it on my Instagram story and say, ‘this girl’s hilarious’…it’s my rule for myself to fight that.” — Nikki Glaser (32:18)
• On the Sting of Rumors in Comedy Clubs:
  • “People did that to me early on in my career…[said] I was sleeping with comedians to get stage time and I was a virgin.” — Nikki Glaser (32:54)
• On Writing Comedy Like an Essay:
  • “It takes a month to get the success and that’s going to the club, recording, listening to it and changing.” — Nikki Glaser (61:46)
• On the Psychological Toll of Roasts:
  • “Some jokes about me got traded because... Ann Coulter…later I was told, ‘Oh, you dodged a few bullets because people switched.’” — David Spade (47:12)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• 03:47: Nikki’s self-effacing joke about peaking after the Tom Brady roast
• 04:13–06:04: Nikki on family, early years, and her unwavering sense of destiny in comedy
• 11:24–12:30: Nikki’s college experience, eating disorder, and finding her comedic voice
• 13:30–14:54: Fame as love, and why she chases both
• 16:04–17:15: Roasts as the ultimate comic competition
• 18:15–20:56: Behind the scenes at the Tom Brady Roast; joke overlaps and live improvising
• 22:12–22:46: Kevin Hart’s stand-out generosity helping Nikki post-roast
• 32:17–34:02: Nikki’s battle with jealousy and public support of other women comics
• 41:01–42:18: Tom Brady’s visible discomfort at the roast and what targets were off-limits
• 49:28–50:13: Emotional impact of being roasted by strangers vs. friends
• 61:46–62:07: Crafting a tight hour: “It takes a month to get the success and that’s going to the club, recording, listening to it and changing.”
• 64:05–65:17: The persistence of roast footage and the reach of modern streaming/social media

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Tone and Language

The tone is warm, candid, and often self-deprecating, with all three comics willing to open up about insecurities, the ugly side of showbiz, and the highs and lows of public life. There’s mutual respect and plenty of real friendship on display, alongside razor-sharp comedic timing. The episode is filled with humor, brutal honesty, and behind-the-scenes industry realities.

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Standout Podcast Moment

“The super bowl of comedy—the day after the roast, there’s nothing I can do…that’s the only amount of texts I will get. This is unprecedented for a comedian. My special won’t even get this many texts. It won’t ever happen again like this.”
— Nikki Glaser (54:19)

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Summary Takeaway

This episode is both a masterclass in modern stand-up craft and a refreshingly honest discussion of the joys and traumas that come from “making it” in comedy’s unforgiving arenas. Nikki’s willingness to be vulnerable about competition, jealousy, and the anxieties of public performance are balanced by the hosts’ own stories and admiration, delivering an inside perspective on what it takes to last and thrive in show business today.

Transcript

[David Spade]

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[David Spade]

Dana we've got a republished episode of one of our favorites nikki glaser nikki.

[Dana Carvey]

Glaser nikki glazer she's fun she's fun this was a fun one super fun.

[David Spade]

She you know the good thing about nikki a lot of these comedians that i see or hang out with she is a good laugher you know comedians that don't give it up at all it's kind of tough to have goofy conversations she laughs a lot she is always writing which i like she always wants to keep that act wrapped moving it's hard worker dedicated yeah she's a grinder my god her road gigs i look at her instagram it's like microscopic i can't even read all the cities she's going to and that takes it takes its toll it's a tough job she's always upbeat on the show we play vegas together we're actually and it.

[Dana Carvey]

Was fun you guys are friends i i i was invited to a dinner.

[David Spade]

With her oh that's right during COVID.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah and what this she's you know her act is very adult but she's she's actually sort of old fashioned but incredibly sweet and doesn't have any airs about her and like in this episode you're going to listen to she was sort of kind of on a roll but she said this will be the hottest i'll ever be it was after the tom brady roast i believe if i have this correct is that right.

[David Spade]

I think so and i think it was before golden globes i think yes.

[Dana Carvey]

It was before golden globes after that.

[David Spade]

And she was she was kind of.

[Dana Carvey]

Self effacingly saying i've just peaked i had a run you know and so.

[David Spade]

But she's still killing it she's selling out she's doing great like i said we're at the venetian in vegas this weekend so a lot of fun with her actual friend actually someone i text.

[Dana Carvey]

With and absolutely she's incredibly easy and fun to talk to here she is what's the state tax are you taxed in your native state i would never.

[Nikki Glaser]

Know that i live i live in missouri and i rent an apartment and i don't own a home i don't own a car i don't have kids but i do spend a lot of money to see taylor swift and stuff like that and i eat out for.

[Dana Carvey]

Every meal you don't have a car so you just uber everywhere i i.

[Nikki Glaser]

Have my i bought my mom a car and then i took her car and so i'm driving my mom's car.

[David Spade]

I paid for it that's a great present just keep taking it back how.

[Dana Carvey]

Are your parents no my mom's old car oh yeah that's insane handling having a famous daughter who's really successful how are they oh they how does that.

[David Spade]

They'Re famous dana she's there on her.

[Dana Carvey]

Instagram yeah my parents there were five kids and so tons of pictures on the refrigerator and then as i got more and more successful eventually it was just all me and i said mom what are you doing so it would did she have ambitions or your mom or dad to be in theater arts.

[Nikki Glaser]

My dad is a musician and plays around saint louis in grocery stores and different bars don't lowball him like that i know he feels he hates when.

[David Spade]

I start with grocery stores but mainly.

[Nikki Glaser]

Is groceries but he's really he's a great musician he just he just wanted a family and safety so he chose like a career in cable which was safe for many years until he got out right after he got out and then yeah yeah yeah so it was so he took the safe route and then i he really believed in me and always supported me i knew when i first like started it was gonna take i said eight years before i wouldn't depend on them to like help me out a little bit here and there and it was like eight years on the day where i didn't need them anymore where i got that first check that kind of made it so.

[Dana Carvey]

Well i mean parents warm but in your own mind i can talk for david or me it's like it didn't seem like a risk i was like well i'm just going to try this i mean were you like oh maybe i should have a plan b and.

[Nikki Glaser]

Be a junior high school no my plan b was kill myself someday i mean honestly like that was kind of like i was like i guess i'll just i don't know what i'll do if i don't find an in some way because i tried all the other ends i tried acting i had tried singing and no one cared to hear any more of that and i mean i wanted to go to theater school and be like an actress and then i couldn't even get booked like in my high school play i was always like you know in the diary of anne frank i was jewish townsperson b and that was my senior year of like this is going to be my role and so i was getting all the feedback that i did not have.

[Dana Carvey]

Frank that's not town person b yeah.

[David Spade]

That'S her plan b was just a pill plan b that was it that's the only plan b we've heard i.

[Nikki Glaser]

Had no but did you guys have a plan b like was there did you even i think that's part of why i was successful is that i didn't even there was just no chance that it wasn't going to happen maybe i let that thought in for twenty minutes of my whole time struggling maybe i just it never even occurred i feel like i i hear about like jim carrey and and and manifesting stuff and i don't i think i unintentionally manifested this career because i never let in a thought that it wouldn't happen.

[Dana Carvey]

Well i think that's good i mean for me it was like i think after a few years i don't know the eras of comedy booming but at some point i was averaging five to six hundred a month fifty dollars gig twenty five dollars birthday party so then i was like in those days too bad for the younger generation i could that was my job so now this is my job i was a year before this and a damn good one.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah yeah but i love waiting tables.

[Dana Carvey]

Too just my job so then then i just went wherever but i just thought if this is what i do to make money on planet earth this would be a good way to go.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah even if it stayed at that level you meant you mean yeah what.

[Dana Carvey]

A waiter i always say a waiter's wage and now it'd be like two thousand a month two thousand five hundred.

[Nikki Glaser]

A month probably yeah yeah i did.

[David Spade]

The same thing yeah my overhead like you nikki when you start any everyone when they start is a minimal overhead so i quit too early i was in arizona state i was working at a clothing store and i was also and i quit because i was making eighty a week was making four gigs that are twenty dollars a pop and i was like i feel like i got this because i i wasn't but.

[Dana Carvey]

I and then i got out of.

[David Spade]

School my mom was like god damn i'm like listen i wanted to be a radio dj because that was the only other thing you could sleep in and then maybe do the afternoon shift and didn't seem that hard but i thought i can't have everything was too tough school started to get hard i got distracted by standup so if you.

[Nikki Glaser]

What were you studying to be lofty goals were you in school to be.

[David Spade]

Something it was not it was a little early on because i was still like an anthropology and things that didn't matter but it was to ultimately be in advertising because my dad was and.

[Nikki Glaser]

My brother andy was okay that makes sense and advertising is the the thing that you go okay if i that was always my fallback too i was like because it's creative but apparently it's even more soulless than what we like it's apparently it's you're so creative all day and it's sometimes fun but it's like you're ultimately just trying to manipulate people with your art and that's got to be kind of depressing which we is what we are doing a lot of times as well like we've asked.

[Dana Carvey]

People this before but like okay your first set yeah yeah and and where was it in the the day of the first set that you know you're.

[Nikki Glaser]

It was good right because none of us do always good again do you know how many comedians that would be like just legends right now that just had a rough first set and couldn't couldn't even imagine how good it feels to have a good set because that is what keeps you coming back is that memory of the good one no amount of bad ones make you forget it and chase it but yeah of course it was good it was at university of colorado it was my freshman year and i was like really not doing well mentally i was i had an eating disorder i was like on death's door literally i was about to die and i was praying to die because it's just a miserable life you don't eat you can't eat because that's of the disease you're hungry all the time you're cold no one wants to be friends with you because they think you're like on a diet trying to look hot even though like that's the last thing you're trying to do you're just like stuck it's like it's the fucking worst it's having a terminal illness and everyone blaming you for it and thinking that you chose it because you want to be hot it's like it.

[David Spade]

Sucks quit choosing to be hot yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well because it starts that way right like you get you do a diet and it kind of works you get some attention and then i went as i do for but i just couldn't i went bananas and didn't even eat one of those a week and and just like it and so i was really good at it but then it got really bad i was hospitalized and stuff so it was i went off to school to like get away from my parents who were like monitoring what i was up to with not eating and it was already my plan to go out of state for school but then i caught this eating disorder between deciding to go out of state and leaving for it and and i was hospitalized during the summer at home it's rough but i tricked them all got out was like i'll eat enough and i'll go to school i'll be irresponsible all the doctors are telling my parents she's gonna die if she goes there like there's no question i was like yes like let me this is hell i don't even know how to get out of this i don't wanna get out of it like it's just it's fucked but then because i looked so scary this is my theory because i looked so scary and no one wanted to be my friend i just became like loud and like funny and like told stories and like you know when we're introducing ourselves around the dorm or at the sorority i was like rushing a sorority i looked like a skeleton like it was crazy but i just was so funny that people started forgetting the way i looked and wanting to be friends with me or i always go louder yeah and i'd never done that before i never needed to do that before i kind of just always wanted to be not noticed but at this point i was so noticeable by the way i looked i couldn't not get ahead of it and then that was when i started hearing like you should be a comedian and i was like huh like is that what it what i don't i knew about stand up but i didn't pay attention it wasn't i liked snl i liked seinfeld i liked friends i liked conan that was like the pillars of my comedy obsession but i didn't get into stand up and then i i like googled it in my dorm room and was.

[David Spade]

Like is it true you were inspired by jonbenet in her early sixties i.

[Nikki Glaser]

Didn'T put it the joke in my special which is coming out you did.

[Dana Carvey]

It eleventh may eleventh what's the name.

[Nikki Glaser]

Of it hbo it's called someday you'll die and it's saturday may eleventh so it's already out now by i think the time this is airing but so just go check it out hbo someday you'll die and i but i cut it from the special but because i had too many jokes about like wanting pretty girls to die and so i had to i had to lose one of them so it was you know the joke is a true story i've always been like insecure always wanting to be the center of attention not knowing how to like get it i feel like that's faded as i get older and realize it's not that fun but initially i was always like who doesn't want to be famous like do you guys relate to that like your friends in high school or middle school but mine were like not really we don't really care about being famous and i'm like what is is that everything i.

[Dana Carvey]

Think now i mean a younger generation because everyone is famous in their own way with instagram all that but i i said this to jerry seinfeld i check with my wife once a year i go honey did i ever say i wanted to be rich and famous ever really early and she said no because i was just trying to win the club you know i was trying to get to the middle and then get to the headline i was just thinking like that it was too abstract that i would be famous too crazy that i could be on tv and it hurt me in a lot of ways throughout my career i never was able to really take it in you.

[Nikki Glaser]

Know so dana what motivated you was just being like becoming a headliner like that was the first like i just want to be able to make a living a good living a decent living doing standup and making people laugh yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

And i came from a track and field cross country background so i was also really really competitive but not in a nasty way but but when robin williams was there initially and then he left to do mork and mindy when he came back which i said many times i don't know he would levitate the room as i call it and it looked like he wasn't trying it was explosive i just thought well there's a standard so i kept saying i've got to get more intense and i was horrible i would have one joke after like a five minute setup for you know i was like yeah i see a short setup and then a lot of you know it took me a long time but man did you.

[Nikki Glaser]

Do you figured it out i mean so quickly you're you got to level yeah i mean but relative like like you had it from being like bombing wildly on stage to figuring out how to elicit the kind of laughs robin williams gets in a you figured it out and but that's so interesting to me too because there is a difference like i think for me being famous is just like being loved you know like it sounds vapid but it's like at its core it's just like i just want love and acceptance i want to be able to survive in the world because people like me already you know it's just a survival instinct so it's i hate i want to take some vapidity away from it because it feels like i just want everyone to like is that even word i just want everyone to you know i like.

[David Spade]

That you're already you're already walking in a room and we have the benefit where people know you and have mostly a positive opinion or at least you're not scary at least when you walk up to people or you say oh your kids are cute they don't think you're a psychopath they're like oh this guy or any situation you can say hi to people or you can and they kind of are off guard already they're not like hey you don't walk.

[Nikki Glaser]

Up to me yeah well doesn't that make sense in an evolutionary standpoint of like wanting the whole tribe to know who you are and care about people keeping you around because and and having some stake in your existence i mean it's it it comes from it makes sense where it comes from but dana i think i also have that in me too that competitive nature that i didn't i i didn't know because i think i'm the same way of like i'm not like throwing a you know remote control if i lose a video game kind of angry competitive but i am i am viciously competitive and you realize it when you do things like the roast which is like i was just thinking about this this is like the day after two days after the roast and like immediately you walk off stage and everyone's like this was the best this was the second best this is like it is a ranking thing and i'm like oh my god that's why i like roses because i want to i finally found a way in comedy to like compete and in a way that i feel comfortable competing like i can't compete maybe in other ways in comedy and i don't look at like going up at this comedy store against people as a competition but this is like you have five minutes everyone's doing the same thing it's the same task and who's the best and yeah brings out that nature the real thing.

[David Spade]

Is you have five minutes everyone's doing.

[Nikki Glaser]

Twenty three it's so true oh my.

[David Spade]

God i texted you during the roast i go is everyone going fucking long or what's going on here well it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Was interesting they told us like you know football players are getting three minutes belichick's getting to you know and then you're getting you're getting six you're getting andrew's getting six jeff's getting six um and and everyone went over because the laughs you don't you don't account for the laughs at the forum but i will say they were like i thought they were gonna be a lot more strict about you can't do this you know you can't say this and but get this i'm sitting so i have my set like i'm down to the wire right i've been working for a month on perfecting every fucking word every transition everything makes sense finally get it down submit it i'm and i mean like under the wire then rush to the red carpet out of the red carpet i go do i have time to go to prompter to see what this fucking looks like even read through the prompter in the prompter room all the comedians all the people on the dais are in the room so i'm like can they get behind like so i'm reading through kevin's behind me i'm like kevin hart will you not look at but he couldn't see over everyone's shoulders anyway so it didn't fucking matter so i was like i was can you raise the monitor and so he so i'm reading through i like and then and then rushed right on stage i sit down kevin comes up to do his set first open and he does one of my jokes oh the.

[David Spade]

Classic rose situation do you think he.

[Dana Carvey]

Saw it on the prompter no oh.

[Nikki Glaser]

My god that set up sounded like i thought he stole no no no yeah no sorry about that parallel development yes obviously and but i was just like how did they not catch this but the truth is like the writing team is getting jokes last minute kevin chose his jokes very last minute they're entering them in no one cross checked it so his joke is that tom brady got out of his divorce and then he's been fucking around town so much his dick has cte and mine was about masturbating to him to research for this and my my has cte and but i but on mine i have like a tag that i'm like okay that kind of that makes it different so i'll just blow past the fact that i do the same joke but i'm also like at first i'm just my face i can't even i'm on camera but i'm like how do.

[David Spade]

You get it off the prompter that face i mean during the show you can't get it off the prompter right.

[Nikki Glaser]

No it's a live show there's no producer to call we're on stage already set there's i don't have i'm like do i talk into my lav and think maybe someone hears me i don't have an in ear to hear if they hear me jeff ross who's the producer comes and sits down next to me i go i have the same joke kevin just did and i can't take it out of the prompter the prompter guy is not gonna build i haven't worked with him enough to hey if i do this just go to the next one i had it set so then i'm looking at one of my friends who's in the front row and she knows my set backwards and forwards and i go and she's like deer in headlights look too and i go what do i do and she's just like looking at the carpet cause we're trying to think of another joke that will fit coming out of tom you were on my fantasy team last night and then transition after the cte like into something cte without saying it.

[David Spade]

Like can you jump the line without the prompter freaking out and no but.

[Nikki Glaser]

That'S the thing i'm like i don't think i can't because like i don't even know and then i and it would ruin my flow entirely if i stopped and go hey can you and then i go okay maybe i'll just say the joke and go that would have gotten better had it not been already set like address it but then that's like do i need to i've never performed for even this big of a crowd before it's at the forum so it's like i don't know the dynamics of the sound and what people like and so but then i did the math on it i was like okay there's enough time between me and that joke that that they might reset like they'll subconsciously know that isn't as funny as it would have been without hearing it but maybe they will be able to place it i think so.

[Dana Carvey]

I mean i just noticed it and i went oh oh well head didn't talk to the tail that was just and there was gonna be yeah no.

[Nikki Glaser]

One'S gonna be like she stole that.

[Dana Carvey]

Other people talking about how beautiful tom brady is how attractive he is and stuff like that or is he gay how can you not have overlap there's.

[Nikki Glaser]

Gonna be bumps definitely and i was surprised that there weren' i submit because after that happened it was one of his first jokes and so the rest of the time i'm watching his the teleprompter like where else like how what am i going to do like it was just that moment of you know live tv which obviously you guys are used to where it's like you're i got to make a decision and let's just see if it i know it's.

[Dana Carvey]

The right one but you you have the best line of the i thought it was the most clever it was hard hitting it was but that it really made me laugh out loud and that was how does it feel i won't want him to say that when he he can kick your ass while.

[Nikki Glaser]

He eats yeah oh thank you yeah yeah i'd say that i talk about tom brady now giselle his ex wife is dating a jujitsu instructor i was like that's gotta hurt knowing your ex wife's new boyfriend could beat your ass while eating hers i like that you don't say that i'm glad that you like that because i was like oh did i even say that poor giselle.

[Dana Carvey]

Well it's so outrageous but it was constructed really well you said hers you didn't asked twice it was a reason it was palatable thank you that really.

[Nikki Glaser]

Means a lot well i i i'll.

[Dana Carvey]

Just tell you point blank it doesn't matter that you're on the thing i i thought you won the night you saw how kevin hart react if if there is a competition there isn't he.

[David Spade]

Was a good reactor though he really.

[Dana Carvey]

Did give it up to you you know me me not no money line and all that i mean he sincerely in that moment was giving it up to like that's how it's done it doesn't get any better so you must.

[Nikki Glaser]

Feel good after that i mean amaz know like that we are all kind of in competition sometimes and for another comedian like kevin hart who definitely has achieved that level of success by making things about him and probably not making it about other people and shining the light on them that's how you get there to use that time to break i mean he he literally went up and was like quoting people's jokes just saying them again he literally after after i got a standing ovation which i didn't even know about he goes i want everyone in the in case you didn't see it at home nikki got a standing ovation to give me that like he did i know why he was doing that because he wants to build me up it wasn't so that people actually it was it was designed that way and i thanked him afterwards and i said i know you did you didn't need to be as generous with you know the laughter and saying things afterwards you did he did it for everyone and it was it was an example of what i want to like be more like in this business.

[David Spade]

It made it more fun it made him very likable too yeah it's the.

[Nikki Glaser]

Way fallon you know when you go on his show when you do stand up on his show he comes which is terrifying and it you kind of do you don't go up cold but you're coming back from a commercial break it's obviously it's like all of a sudden this person just standing there who's no one's seen it's like kind of going up cold a little bit for an audience but he comes out before warms them up tells them i love this girl so much like even if he doesn't and then he is like cackling at his desk and just his silhouette moving he probably isn't even making any sound but he's giving us that and the audience is watching him to decide how to feel about me subconsciously it's the way that i feel about youtube comments which i hate so much i hate that everyone gets to just comment on things all the time and david i always when i talk about this i always say how you you told me that the hollywood what minute what was show business yeah hollywood minute on snl was the only time like like celebrities got roasted or like kind of got made fun of or ridiculed.

[Dana Carvey]

Directly like that yeah it was all.

[David Spade]

People magazine and all everything was like fawning fawning fawning yeah but that was.

[Nikki Glaser]

The only place for it in the nineties like and look at it now we that that seems insane that that would be the like it's it didn't exist angry mob yeah and so yeah youtube comments are constantly there to tell you how to feel about a video like even i'm a pretty savvy consumer and i feel like you know i want to watch content and really make my own decision about how i feel about this and not be influenced but then a little youtube comment pops up and if it's like you know if it's one of if it's fly on the wall or whatever commenting like one of the greatest things i've ever seen and i see a little check mark next to your name even if i don't know what it is i'm like oh someone with a check mark thinks this the best thing i like i like this more no matter what i just do even me who knows that it's trying to get me to like it so that's what i think it's really detrimental when it's negative but when kevin kind of co signed it really i think that's why there's been this fervor afterwards that i've never felt in my career before of people being like you had a standing ovation you were the best one i'm like thank you kevin hart i mean i did well but that really that boost helps so.

[David Spade]

Much cacava is one of our sponsors and this is sort of a drink you get a lot of benefits a lot of protein a lot of everything a lot of animal protein yeah i drink cachava i wasn't aware of it they sent it to me and now you know during my day i am on the go i don't have to.

[Dana Carvey]

Tell you you do you're you're always busy and you need you need sustenance you need nutrition you need protein i'm.

[David Spade]

Going to blow away i so i dandelion yeah i'm a little dandelion i've lost about three pounds i didn't i didn't mean to but i'm trying to put it back and just rock hard muscle so good plan cachava has a lot of flavors they have a new strawberry flavor right strawberry it's got real strawberry and it's got real benefits you know the strawberry is great i am old school and do chocolate what i do is i chocolate i put a spoonful of almond butter yeah and not even a full banana i don't want it too sweet i want to cheat you don't want everything tasting like candy.

[Dana Carvey]

You know what i mean no chai is always an interesting kind of flavor i find shy because it's spicy and kind of sweet you know i mean you just have to try it you know you got your matcha and your coconut acai i now pronounce that properly.

[David Spade]

I call it aka twenty five grams of plant protein yeah antioxidants and got all the good stuff yeah all good all good stuff so you know you get it and it keeps me kind of full you know so i say like super full but i'm saying a good good one then i go along and i usually have to eat all the time and i'm like i haven't eaten for a while so that's good it doesn't i don't get all shaky so i keep my eye on it but i gave my brother one of them because he wanted it so now i got him hooked on it so i think it's got you know it's got six grams of fiber and good for mind and body it's a comprehensive.

[Dana Carvey]

All in one meal i mean think protein shake meal replacement greens plus veggies vitamins and minerals you know so it's.

[David Spade]

Like a guiltless thing where you go i'm hungry i don't want to just eat some trash garbage yeah so you.

[Dana Carvey]

Eat something healthy like this and then it just smooths you out calms you down and you don't have to not like all jittery and you're just calm.

[David Spade]

You'Ve never tasted strawberry like this so go to kachava dot com use code fly for fifteen off your order that's kachava k a c dash h dash a v a dot com code fly for fifteen percent off you know when life is moving a million miles an hour work deadlines school drop offs dinner plans and the fridge is somehow always empty that's when i turn to instacart it's more than just a grocery delivery service it's a care company with just a few taps instacart connects you to thousands of stores and gets fresh groceries and household essentials to your door in as fast as thirty minutes listen for me it's been a total game changer during back to school season between getting lunches packed and managing the chaos of new routines i don't have time to stand in line for snacks paper towels are the almond milk my kid swears.

[Dana Carvey]

He needs you know right i totally i can shop from my favorite stores right from my phone and trust the instacart shopper to pick the best items just like i would instacart brings convenience quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most download the instacart app and use code fotw pod twenty to get twenty dollars off your first order of eighty dollars or more that's code f otw pod twenty to get dollar twenty off your first order of eighty dollars or more offer valid for a limited time excludes restaurants additional terms apply.

[David Spade]

It'S hard to have no glitches it's hard to go through a set it's hard to go later i when they introduced you i said fuck yeah she's got to go soon because andrew schultz who's great and by the time they got to him i forgot he was going on i'm like oh my god he's still he's got to follow every joke i told him and he still did great.

[Nikki Glaser]

I told him i said you if we swap sets this could be a different conversation because he's like you did the best don't even fucking try to tell me i did too and he's being very sweet but i go but we know it was about they didn't have any juice left and we were two hours into a show i couldn't believe how well tom brady did three hours into a show i was like but it was a good time though all around who did you guys in your career like do you feel were there any moments where someone went out of their way to vouch for you or say you're funny that is like stands out to you i know you.

[Dana Carvey]

Have tons but well for me i guess brad gray and bernie brillstein they.

[David Spade]

Were.

[Dana Carvey]

They just championed me i had other managers and people didn't get me i i was sort of a cutesy guy i didn't look like a comedian i did a lot of weird sitcoms because i didn't know that i'd be on saturday night live in three years you know whoa really they were the first ones that said yeah you you yeah you you've got it and and.

[Nikki Glaser]

Directed you towards snl and that kind of thing were they the ones that say this is where you belong yes.

[Dana Carvey]

And bernie managed lauren michaels he was bernie was lauren's manager got it and we were all in the ecosystem there so it was a lot of luck but just want for a second being competitive like kevin hart i'm sure is maybe he's like who can get to a billion or whatever is a separate lane from generosity yeah and being you know it's like i can imagine you meeting a version of yourself who's like twenty two in the clubs and you you catch something good about and i her you just make sure well just to be honest you probably would squash her right because the amount of time.

[Nikki Glaser]

I'Ve been doing it versus her yeah.

[David Spade]

Yeah and you pull out the tricks and then the baton but yeah i.

[Nikki Glaser]

Am that's what i was talking like the jonbenet story that i didn't get like i'm threatened by girls who are like younger and prettier and and i can see potential in them like of course i want them to go away and to get you know get a boy like you know brittany murphy out i hate to i'm making obviously a joke but i want them to get a boyfriend who controls them and then they don't get to succeed and be and reach their potential there's a secret deep part of me that yes because when if to me this is survival of the fittest and if she's out there then that's one less spot for me and people say there's room enough for everyone but there is a threshold for how many people people can know so there you can say it all day everyone can be famous but we don't not everyone can there is a threshold so there is a spot if someone goes another spot opens up and but now i fight that disgusting part of my brain that is so jealous and so critical and when i i challenge myself every time i get threatened by a girl on instagram like i see a clip of a young hot girl and she's being hilarious like katherine blandford or what is her name caroline benowitz these two like cute blonde hilarious girls and i'm just like what the and i just want them to not be funny so bad i'm watching it like please don't be funny and it is because it is every time because they're just naturally hilarious in a way that i feel like i'm not i now instead of when i feel like go away bitch i post it on my instagram story and i say this girl's hilarious i just like i have to do it it's my rule for myself to fight that because people did that to me early on in my career and tried to get me canceled in different clubs and told people i was sleeping with comedians to get stage time and i was a virgin i didn't even i was scared of sex and i was suddenly like this whore that was blowing people disgusting comics for stage time and it was it really held me back i had to like move out of my home club town because it was like no one respected me and everyone thought i was stealing.

[David Spade]

Jokes from guys like that move still works it's like she's a whore it's like it sounds like it's like works through the history of time yeah and.

[Nikki Glaser]

It just everyone's like what and she was these guys were right she's blowing pauly shore and he's writing for her and i was i was like i don't know which i should be more insulted by not because paulie's hilarious but like that how could you think he could write these jokes for me and that i would trust him to write to my voice like it was just like it was so i try to just do the opposite even though they're absolutely i res i really relate to that bully the person you know the.

[Dana Carvey]

People that even bullied what is is the phrase rumor monger is that the phrase people who cultivate rumors to destroy.

[Nikki Glaser]

People it's it's easy to do isn't.

[Dana Carvey]

It like schadenfreude you know the german word for taking joy in your friends failures so that we all we all are five years oh okay we're all ten years old inside so there is all those reflexes you know it's like toy story there's a new kid in town you know all that yeah we do the next nikki glaser instinctual you're.

[Nikki Glaser]

Being replaced there's someone younger they get more attention they're more fertile like these are all the things i talk about in my special but yeah it makes sense like i remember what was i just gonna say the oh but when my bully in my hometown like who really devastated me and i really did have to leave town because she got all of my friend comics against me like my club that i started at like i just couldn't get stage time because she convinced everyone i was a hack whore and so that's the title.

[Dana Carvey]

Of your next special i think that's.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like the japanese translation of my of the one that's out now.

[David Spade]

In tokyo.

[Nikki Glaser]

But what i remember i had told amy schumer was we were dear friends at and we were talking about and she knew all about her and oh we both hated this girl and we're like oh you know what you this is going to drive you to succeed and i finally got to a place where i was doing really well and i remember texting amy one day like i found out she's pregnant and i was kind of like oh she's like got a husband and boyfriend and amy just goes you won.

[Dana Carvey]

And i was.

[Nikki Glaser]

Like oh you're right we're not going to hear much from her now so yeah that's my new thing is wishing.

[David Spade]

Girls pregnant yeah i wish them to get pregnant to get rid of them.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah because instead of death just pregnancy.

[David Spade]

It buys you some time.

[Dana Carvey]

When we.

[David Spade]

Did the roast for rob lowe i saw rob yesterday actually we did the roast for rob lowe why did i say that we can't not see him.

[Nikki Glaser]

And go like i'm looking at a perfect yeah it's it's jarring what he looks like i'm sure you never get used to it but yeah when we.

[David Spade]

Were doing the roast it still bothers me it is he's my jonbenet so when i did the roast with nikki that's the only one i've done was for against rob low or whatever it's called it was rob low roast and then i thought one of the interesting things cause i never did it was the respect and quiet unwritten rule that regular people don't seem to know when i go to the improv if jeff ross is on stage i don't go in and when they're practicing roast jokes i saw you the other night you're doing yours the other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own they go we're not allowed to see each other yep and when you go to the stage dana they were like that day i'm going to just look at the prompter yeah rob lowe is there and they go we got to get rob lowe out before you can come in and everyone's in on it and everyone understands yep oh wait.

[Nikki Glaser]

But we don't say it's in there.

[David Spade]

Yeah they just go you're not ready to go in yet and i in my head i go oh nikki must be someone's in there yeah we don't.

[Nikki Glaser]

That'S the strange thing i've noticed that in this time around like i'm running into jeff around town and i'm you're trying to get a sense of like how hard are we going with tom brady can we mention aaron hernandez can we mention him kissing his kids can we mention giselle even can we mention bridget moynihan can we mention him deflating balls like you don't know where the line is so i got on an early call and i'm like you know what's the vibe like you just want to get a sense of other people's jokes to see what's going on know.

[David Spade]

What they are yeah but you can't.

[Nikki Glaser]

Because you you wouldn't want anyone to see your joke so you go am.

[David Spade]

I the one going too far that's.

[Nikki Glaser]

That'S the funny part and then you hear someone going too far and you're like well now i want to go for yeah now your whole joke here you go bar rises yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what happened to me like a week ago i'm like wait there is an aaron hernandez joke like we're going to joke about a guy who hung himself in prison tragically after killing someone because he had cte which is what all these guys are going to get on stage eventually like oh we're going there let's okay now there.

[Dana Carvey]

Were three of them right yeah yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

I mean it was yeah there were.

[David Spade]

Bridget monahan said something today she did she said she posted something like you know i would never it wasn't it wasn't saying her but she said i would never let people it's really what you think she'd say something like that's not something i would do i thought we would never do stuff like this yeah about and it was like because she gets dragged into it i think from one of your jokes yeah but also gisele took such a fucking beating that all i wanted was her to walk out at the end and get a standing ovation how cool would that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Have been i'm sure they tried to get her but there was no way.

[David Spade]

That was so cool in a karate.

[Dana Carvey]

Gi it's brazilian with a white belt.

[David Spade]

It'S a white belt it's not about the karate lesson yeah yeah yeah i haven't learned one thing okay i have.

[Dana Carvey]

A question nikki yeah in in the room and your vibe you're looking at tom you're watching him he's a good sport they say he got mad at jeff ross for a second what's your vibe of how much pain or not pain he was feeling and how much he was expecting these level of jokes or was he surprised what could you.

[Nikki Glaser]

Down for whatever i mean there was you know we all agreed not to make fun of his kids in the kissing thing we all were like we don't want to bring that into it because it you know his kids are in like middle school we want to them to keep that special between them and so we just decided that was kind of the only that was the only one that i was like hey we're all kind of collectively not gonna do that and i would go okay well there goes half my act like so much was about kissing the kid.

[David Spade]

Helping the kid because that was the.

[Nikki Glaser]

Only thing i knew about him like that was when that video came out i was kind of obsessed with it because my dad used to kiss me on the lips as a kid and i had a bit of like it went into my adulthood where i was like we can't do this i know we do this as a family and my other friends would be like you guys kiss like i related to it so i had a lot of jokes about that and then they all went away but forget what your question was.

[Dana Carvey]

Well did you feel like that he was see that he co signed for the giselle jokes and he had a heads up that where they were going.

[Nikki Glaser]

To go to dude it was so rough well i couldn't look at him because i felt like he even in there's this clip of me online that i'm watching and he cuts to him and he looks devastated like he looks really tight smile tight yeah and i thought he would be able to fake it more but i also i'm like oh wow i thought he was gonna know all of our jokes i honestly because he's an ep on it so i thought he right and he wants to control things like i'm sure he's he's gonna deflate some of our jokes by looking at him and you know and making him more palatable for him to handle and hold and but he didn't and he he because even when jeff made the robert kraft joke about like alluding to the happy ending massages he got up and was like no i didn't hear it happen but i i saw him get up i didn't know what he said but i was on stern yesterday and he said that he was like no that's too far or something and that was that again yeah that's what he said yeah yikes i would because jeff jeff did sit back down and was like did i cross like was that because he tried.

[David Spade]

To handle screeners would it be about.

[Nikki Glaser]

That what do you mean why why.

[David Spade]

Is he picking that because i think.

[Nikki Glaser]

Robert kraft was a hard get to get in that room and tom probably vouched and said they are not going to come after you you cannot sit.

[David Spade]

In the within a mile radius no.

[Nikki Glaser]

But that was that he should have communicated better because jeff would have never ever overstepped the line that tom put down and he would have made it like he wouldn't have ever so that wasn't communicated clearly because jeff was so like it was like a throwaway conscious about it yeah it was but he was offended dude i really do think that he didn't expect it but i was checking in with jeff beforehand and he was like he's ready to go he wants to do this full throttle let's go no holds barred just not the kids like he can take it and i go giselle and you're like yep he can take it i'm like all right i and if you watch if you watch a greg geraldo roast compilation that's all you need to do to watch to know what you're in for like it's going to be that level because we're all watching those and we're all striving for that level of cringy of truth and funny harshness yeah and so for him to ever be surprised at anything is just bad planning and you didn't and you thought you were impervious to it or something that's.

[Dana Carvey]

Insane everything we know about tom brady as an athlete his preparation his perfectionism and he would scream at so there is a crazy as a fox kind of vibe here oh yeah i mean studying him yeah well he's very he's more vulnerable he's more human they call him the human robot he's about to sign a three hundred seventy five million dollars deal to be in the booth so these little asides and jokes it's all been sort of said out loud in a vicious way so i think it's a new day in town for him walking down the street because you kind of feels empathy for him there was that joke he i think it was kevin hart he went eight and nine and you lost your wife and.

[David Spade]

Kids oh yeah it was worth going eight and nine for yeah there was.

[Dana Carvey]

That too but as far as primality if you're talking about the male psyche and the male ego and what however that went down we don't know yeah but that's a very that that made me empathetic toward him i agree i.

[Nikki Glaser]

Think i think he didn't think that angle of like losing your family would be families it is and and the truth is he did it like he wasn't he didn't abandon his kids he's like a great father he that i hope that he was able to just know that that's not true and wouldn't.

[David Spade]

You not want that out there just the people that worse casual viewer goes oh he deserves yeah that's kids now.

[Nikki Glaser]

That'S what i know about him like anyone who doesn't we defined who he is now you're so right there this is opening up a world in which he might face more criticism i do know he didn't go to the after.

[David Spade]

Party you know like would go cry.

[Dana Carvey]

In the corner you would have water but you know it's divorce with with like a total net worth between the two of them about a half billions and their kids are living online every day they're ten and twelve or something like that so they're seeing all these jokes so i know brutal but but but then so this they're already acclimated it's not out of the blue yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

That'S a good point i mean it's just their life and that was when i said some savage joke about i think the eating ass gisele joke in which i was scared to even look towards him but then i was just like you're tom brady i just i go you'll be okay like i literally said that because i'm like you will like and you did ask for this and if you don't know how it's interesting cause i wonder i'm going on camel layer today and my angle is like oh let me read some jokes about me that didn't make it like there's a writer's room and so many jokes that you know people didn't use about me because i wasn't people thought you know there's more important people to talk about i'll read those and so those are coming in right now and i'm like oh god like and some of them are from my like close friends who are in that room and i'm like you you see this thing about me that i thought i only saw about myself like i'm having that moment but i think that's i feel like it's a good move because i was gonna read roast jokes that didn't make it and just go harder on people and i'm like no what if i go hard on myself and it kind of give myself that tom brady treatment that i just.

[Dana Carvey]

It'S a great idea but yeah it is sort of like you know what are people perceiving about me that i don't see so.

[Nikki Glaser]

Gross because you don't even like they would never like the things we said about tom brady we wouldn't he you can't even tell him in a you know on a zoom meeting of like here's the areas that we might go to like no one did that right no one even said because there are things about me i know that i just already read coming in where i'm like i really didn't know anyone thought that about me like i really thought that was just between me and the mirror when i'm alone and so you.

[David Spade]

Can'T get roasted like i think i got asked to be roasted once and it's good money but i thought i could never handle it and that's why i never did it and i only did it as a host and in the host you're in the crossfire and i think some jokes about me got traded because we got that last minute addition and it was too juicy so everyone jumped on ann coulter oh god.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah that's great so she became the.

[David Spade]

Punchino and later i was told oh you dodged a few bullets because people.

[Nikki Glaser]

Switched i'm surprised you did that looking i didn't i wasn't really friends with you back then but knowing you now i'm so glad you did but it was it's brutal it hurts so much i'm glad that i kind of got got brushed over but there was like one one or two jokes about me that afterwards at the after party i just was kind of a little bit like processing and being like wait why did he write like that was that a joke or was that from a real place and like yeah yeah it stays with you a little bit so it's you know but it's worth it because it's the exposure and then if.

[Dana Carvey]

Brady'S my friend he has a he has a shirt on top and underneath he has a t shirt and at the end he unbuttons it and it's just all the topics that were covered giselle trainer ass so he just goes.

[Nikki Glaser]

Knew it that was yes knew it.

[Dana Carvey]

But yeah i wouldn't want to do that i mean the early ones the first one was big was it was it chevy chase one of the first on the comedy central and that one because i don't think chevy was ready for it i really saw real pain and real wish i wasn't here i think now people who do it i mean the next celebrity is going to do it come on man you have.

[David Spade]

To think of the nikki honestly you.

[Nikki Glaser]

Do you have to know where no one is immune to it but that's kind of like the person we want to get who thinks there's such hot shit that there's nothing there it's everyone everyone else can be looked at like that but not me and that's kind of was maybe was tom brady was.

[David Spade]

Feeling yeah that's a good one but now he knows well nikki would you rather be this is the problem i thought with the chevy chase one was don rickles and those guys in the old days if people know that was the fun roast dean martin frank sinatra huge stars and they were little nineteen seventies you know and they were fun pokes they're all friends chevy chase i think it was strangers hired assassins so a guy's like hi i'm i'm you know whoever by the way you're a piece of shit and now it's too mean because you're like wait who's this guy and so is it worse from strangers or is it worse from your friends if you were roasting me and it was too mean i wouldn't even know how to look at you after.

[Nikki Glaser]

I would be yeah i felt way worse roasting jeff ross and bert kreischer.

[David Spade]

And oh right you said he was.

[Nikki Glaser]

Disgusting yeah i said he's disgusting to look at and i was gonna lose that joke because i'm just it's so harsh and my friends were being like yeah it's not really you don't even say what he looks like you just say he's disgusting to look at and i go no but that's why it's funny it's just it's so that's the reason i like it that's not the reason you're disgusting it's intentional to be.

[Dana Carvey]

Who did this sea lion reference like go back to the ocean oh that.

[Nikki Glaser]

Was like the only woman you'll ever make wet is the one who helps roll you to the ocean that was.

[Dana Carvey]

Your line right yeah yeah another great line it's just a great joke and.

[Nikki Glaser]

Then i had to sit back down next to him and and and i do love him and i actually do think he looks better like he's looking good reason i love jeff ross and then to tell bert i like oh i'm such a fan of your joke like i obviously i told bert later you know i don't feel that way and and then but yeah i think it's strangers it's easier to be vicious because i don't know them like i didn't even meet tom before the roast so it was way easier to be right to say sociopathic things to him because i didn't he's just a person he's a just a person on a page to me like he's not jeff.

[Dana Carvey]

Frost kind of a ladies man or.

[Nikki Glaser]

You know yeah he does really he.

[Dana Carvey]

He i i met him once yeah very young beautiful one with him he's.

[Nikki Glaser]

Charming and adorable and yeah it's but it felt it felt in the past i wasn't close with jeff or i guess it was five years ago that i did the last one and this time i just i felt a lot i guess i'm growing as a person because i felt way worse this time around saying these jokes than i ever have i really never care you know.

[David Spade]

Tony hinchcliffe did a good job coming from killed i think coming from the crowd is a great trick a no one expects anything from him they don't most people don't know bars yes no bar walks out of the audience like i don't i don't even know what he's doing and i'm a comedian i'm like where is he coming on to introduce something and then he just casually throws a line out about someone then and people are don't like who is he oh that's kind of funny oh that's pretty funny and that's really good then he gets like sam j and he does nah whatever that one was.

[Nikki Glaser]

And then it was like whoa bam.

[David Spade]

Bam bam bam bam and then that king king king king king yeah rhythm.

[Nikki Glaser]

He was great job amazing i was blown away that was like such a moment for him and yeah to walk while you're doing it it was just yeah the the truth is the people who do the best on those are the ones that are just like working the hardest tone like talking to people afterwards it's like what did you do to prepare this and we were all just so exhausted the ones the the people that really killed just tighten and.

[Dana Carvey]

Tighten start a month out and just start a month out and edit them.

[Nikki Glaser]

Thinking about it obsessively working with all day long and then running it around town five times a night i mean i did five sets a night for like a week and a half it's.

[David Spade]

Not even the same too because you're like these people aren't on the dais you're telling the crowd picture tom brady right here picture you know who tom segura is picture him over there i would say and they're like okay it's not quite the same but you can.

[Nikki Glaser]

Get a good feel yes yeah i have to explain to a room at the laugh factory at eleven pm at night which is mostly armenians who drew bledsoe is like so for this joke you need to know he was injured in two thousand one and that's what you know like it just it's exhausting to to set it up so it was it was fun to go out and do the rose set for the first time without being like okay guys here's i set the stage but it's you only but it's just such a weird set to do just right tom.

[Dana Carvey]

Sitting there is a whole big changes everything that's how many minutes did you do by the way i don't know.

[Nikki Glaser]

How many it ended up being but it was planned to be it was count it was in the clubs it was seven so at the forum it was probably like eight eight and a half with just the the larger laughs but there was like jokes i put in last minute of like wanting to shoot my boyfriend in the face for a lottery ticket to suck his dick like that was insane and i added that the day before and that was like a high risk situation like there were some jokes i was like this isn't even really tested i don't know if this is gonna it's just i'm so glad it's over i mean don't you guys have those things all the time where it made you so much.

[Dana Carvey]

Pressure stress well it's that kind of pressure i i i did observe you there was a wide shot as the show was starting oh there's nikki and i thought i saw you go big sigh like like you probably could see.

[Nikki Glaser]

My side from a wide shot at.

[Dana Carvey]

The forearm body move and see maybe they're panning over i just saw and i thought that's exactly the frame of mind i would be in like okay here we go it's also be ha ha ha ha but we have a job to do i i'm this is part of my career this this audience is enormous you don't want to think about it because the side this is still playing on netflix it's trending for months so there was you wanted to go ah this isn't important i'm just roasting that it but then side you go no this is kind of the.

[Nikki Glaser]

Biggest thing ever do it's the super bowl of comedy like the amount of i will never literally i'll never have a moment in my career like i had yesterday the day after the roast there's nothing i can do as a comedian hosting snl announcing i just had a baby mary maybe if i like start dating taylor swift that's the only amount of texts i will get like this is the scale of this is unprecedented for a comedian like my special will come out i won't even get this many texts it won't ever happen again like this and so yeah i but i kind of had a feeling about that so you can't there's other opportunities that i've gone wow i didn't work hard enough i didn't understand the scale of that and i phoned it in and i'll never do that again but this i just had a feeling this is going to be pretty big so you got to work hard.

[Dana Carvey]

We used to go to lake ronan in montana seven people and a small station wagon and we stayed in these cabins where you could see through the walls.

[David Spade]

What does that mean so thin yeah.

[Dana Carvey]

It was pretty pretty funky but we liked it but lake ronan in montana off flathead lake would have been nice to get an airbnb and in that case you could have had a little more variety maybe get a bunk house for all the kids so they could stay up all night and tell scary.

[David Spade]

Stories yeah listen it's a good idea.

[Dana Carvey]

Most recently it's kind of famous people are talking about it with my irish relatives and they wanted we wanted them to have their own place in town nearby and there was an airbnb there and they loved it in fact i said how was it and they said i can't believe it airbnb it's a bigger place than we thought we'd ever have.

[David Spade]

Yeah you know a lot of i think everyone i know has done an airbnb at some point also you can take your own place and use it as an airbnb so a lot of people are doing that for extra cash and that's not a bad idea think about it your home might be worth more than you think find out how much at airbnb dot com host betmgm dana we know about this bet gm that's right football fans which is me register with betmgm and keep the good times rolling all season long this pro football season new customers can download the betmgm app and receive up to fifteen hundred dollars in bonus bets okay with code fly fly if they don't win their first bet you get access to second chance promos odds boost tokens same game parlays bet mgm original bets special boosts and tokens and actually more.

[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

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[Dana Carvey]

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[David Spade]

You know those mornings where everything feels like it's moving one hundred miles an hour emails are flying in you're trying to hit your protein goals somehow you're already running late yes same that's exactly when i hit pause and i head to tropical smoothie cafe whether i'm craving something bold and fruity or warm and savory tropical smoothie cafe makes it easy breezy i'll grab a peanut paradise smoothie twenty two grams of smooth peanut buttery protein or mix it up with a pb protein crunch bowl packing a punch at thirty two grams of protein and.

[Dana Carvey]

When i'm in a breakfast sandwich mood their sausage egg and cheese dilla or the all american wrap are always hot toasty and packed with the protein i need to actually power through my day not just survive it the best part i order ahead in the app swing by and grab it on the go no waiting no stress just me my smoothie and a much needed mental getaway every smoothie bowl and wrap is made to order filled with better for you ingredients and serious good vibes so go ahead manifest a more refreshing morning tropical smoothie cafe you're on tropic time now what was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in just curious oh.

[Nikki Glaser]

I well recently i did i presented at the creative arts emmys that was going to be airing on fxx so i was just like i i had a lot to do that week and i was like i'll just do whatever they write for me and punch it up and i should have had my own angle john mulaney won i'm presenting it to him and like the thing i did for that was just so not fun like it i totally blew it totally blew it and i'm like oh man this would have this is a room of all like the people in the industry like i squandered it and i go okay lesson that i learned twenty years in i shouldn't have learned this this late but never like treat these things treat everything at least as try the best you did because you didn't do the best you could.

[Dana Carvey]

Do are comedians more disciplined now because i know there was always jerry seinfeld at least for me in the clubs and he was super disciplined but a lot of really good comics would get a set which is maybe like thirty and then they would do crowd work and they would just develop a drinking problem and they would go out across the country and then you'd see them five years later it's the exact same set and then we're meeting john mulaney and jim gaffigan and you and jerry seinfeld and learning about this this idea of treating it like a college essay like every line and and then going into the club night after night i don't know people did that back then.

[Nikki Glaser]

The successful ones did yeah there's a component to being funny that is like just how hard you work like you can we all think it's just natural and by and it is that's what gets you into it but yeah you can be so much funnier by doing things that aren't funny at all and are just really just focusing but i mean those guys that you listed like i don't work like that on my standup after this roast i was like man if i work this hard on my stand you know this level that i worked at i did for my special that is out on hbo now but it's like i didn't give enough time i worked probably about two months on an hour set and this i worked for a month on six minutes so for the next hour i have to work ten months ahead of time to get this kind of precision and that's what i learned from this is like it takes a month to get the success and that's going to the.

[Dana Carvey]

Club recording listening to it and changing.

[Nikki Glaser]

And having a script and working with a writer's assistant who's keeping track of wait you said this thing on stage like who's in the room jotting things down because i don't like listening back to myself so i just for my special i hired someone to like come on the road with me and keep track of what i was saying on stage riffing that would be i've never.

[Dana Carvey]

I'Ve never heard that but that's brilliant.

[Nikki Glaser]

I just was like why am i not treating my specials like i would treat if i was a feature film yeah or a movie like i need help i want people to punch this up to make it funnier i want i you know this doesn't have to be this solo endeavor that i've always thought standup is that i like about standup because it's about control and i can say i did this no i didn't have any help i can take all the credit but it's so much better if you have help and it's the and you can take credit because it's the smart way to approach it.

[Dana Carvey]

It'S a good way to do it because you're the character so if someone writes a joke for you we know kind of what your style is i think kevin hart a few years back i was impressed that he'd go to flappers he'd have just bare ideas kind of rough ideas he'd have four or five writers in the room even though it was packed two hundred seats and he would just do it and then they would sort of yell out and go what was that thing again and then they would do it again then they would go in the little room they'd have that rented out for the night and they compare notes between shows do this do this to do this so there are ways to treat it so it will move faster yeah it doesn't have to take two years to get say you need well we had dave odd david tell did thirty five of stand up and five of and it was great i loved his special.

[David Spade]

God we did too nikki you know the i think when our rob low roast it was just a hair early because when you guys get the benefit of tiktok i wish we had tiktok instagram there's so many things getting passed around after the roast that i don't think we got back then it was just like did you see it oh it'll rerun soon you can watch it in like another month but a it's live so it makes it more of it's a great idea from ted and b it gets passed around so you're going to see it somehow you're going to see your set tony whoever whoever tom's best joke about the give me twenty million i'll i'll admit i did it or whatever that was great great.

[Nikki Glaser]

Great yes yeah but i've seen even seen our old clips are being re because of it they're coming out like i just saw no like even leading up their rose clips are just so sticky online and i've seen a couple of viewers like they're taking them from now and like i'm getting a boost i'm seeing boosts from like old roasts of just people regenerating that stuff but yeah i mean the scale of this it was everywhere yesterday it was comedy.

[David Spade]

Central is not netflix unfortunately yeah even i did a special on there and it didn't get seen as much as netflix does your comedy central compare to.

[Nikki Glaser]

Netflix i mean yeah or hbo yeah hbo hbo is not global so which is fine because it's like about okay we might not be able to tour internationally i'm okay the congo yeah because you know i'll go there if they want me i'll do any i'll go anywhere i'll take any gig so i'm kind of glad that and i don't like traveling internationally i get stressed out by customs so i'm kind of like okay i'm i'm good not going and hbo has a you know a classiness to it that i really like and they're really selective so but yeah there's definitely a difference yeah my comedy central.

[David Spade]

One dana couldn't even find honestly no joke i was like that's why i always check it out he's like i got to get online and then i.

[Dana Carvey]

Got to join i couldn't find it.

[Nikki Glaser]

You can find it on youtube i think but that's why that's but that's almost good though because that's why when we're in vegas and i'm like on you know at the venetian.

[Dana Carvey]

So you two play the venetian on a regular basis and what's your next yeah i.

[David Spade]

Think it's july we got july we.

[Dana Carvey]

Got september july's a little hot they they had me play there and it just it was one hundred seventeen the weekend i was there i think this.

[Nikki Glaser]

Is the last july vegas is going to be functional what does that mean just in terms of climate change like it's we're getting it's getting dicey so this is one of the last summers i think that town will be inhabitable but actually it's kind of all indoors at this point and we'll be there.

[Dana Carvey]

Yeah still the crowd is wilted that's a that's the problem yeah they're been.

[Nikki Glaser]

Out in the sun but they're it's it's such a fun show but that's why i'm always like dave will you just do bits from that comedy set like i know that and you can because no one saw it and i feel the same way about some stuff.

[Dana Carvey]

In the past and i hate it.

[David Spade]

Because you go god i did it and i technically am not supposed to use them but i'm like but you can again i work so hard on it and then i'm like and who saw it and then you do one in anywhere else and you go oh these people saw it yeah yeah and it feels like i did it shame.

[Nikki Glaser]

But but you know what but with you're the kind of you have the kind of jokes that you want to hear again and again there's like only a handful of comedians who you want same with you dana like this that you want to see bits again like the it's it's not just the element of surprise that makes it funny i think a lot of my jokes are like it's oh it's that twist of phrase turn of phrase at the end and once you hear it it's like the you know the rabbit's out of the hat but for you guys i think i want to hear stuff over.

[Dana Carvey]

And over well i don't know last time you saw me i didn't have anything i just had bare notes it.

[Nikki Glaser]

Was oh my god you were so funny last time i saw you was.

[Dana Carvey]

Such a treat i'm just doing you know i kind of am a sketch player at a heart so then if i do say paul mccartney and the audience is hot i'll just keep going yeah but i was interested in you guys on the road so who do you flip a coin who closes who.

[Nikki Glaser]

Oh dave closes i don't want to.

[Dana Carvey]

Touch that he's because he's david spade.

[Nikki Glaser]

Yeah he's fudgeing david spade he's my favorite comedian i like i start sounding like him by the end of the week like that's the joy of working with him is like i absorb his funniness a little bit and i and i can spin it like i totally steal his like cadence not even intentionally you know it's like when madonna starts sounding british like you just hang out enough and you just can't help but be funnier around him and then i get to it's you know when you're on the road you just like after you get off stage i have to go do a meet and greet and i'm kind of alone and but this after i get off stage i just get to go watch my favorite comedian and like they're doing stuff that i requested like i get to put in.

[David Spade]

Requests then i look at nikki and mention her half the time because he likes a joke i look over and.

[Nikki Glaser]

Go it's so fun and we go out to dinner beforehand and it's just a great weekend it makes it a.

[David Spade]

Weekend i look forward to forward to and we do it about four or.

[Dana Carvey]

Five times yeah when you're solo on the road really solo yeah it's a little lonely you're in the the day of the hotel is so long and what do i do so if you do have another person there the whole energy you come out i remember playing there was playing a big casino with dennis and it was starting at eight and it's one of those things where they come in later but we we picked out the curtain and all his chairs were empty it was like seven fifty eight and he goes christ sakes karvi are we three dog night all.

[Nikki Glaser]

This.

[Dana Carvey]

It'S like so dennis then they rush in they're finishing their drinks and they rush in and we were okay but at that moment you know we.

[David Spade]

Gotta let nikki go.

[Dana Carvey]

Tonight what's your first line you sit down your first.

[Nikki Glaser]

Joke i'll probably like i've been i'll probably thank him for sending me an email because he he that'll get us into some areas and i really do want to thank him because he wrote me a really nice email when he didn't need to and he's a busy man so i'll probably do that ingratiate.

[Dana Carvey]

Myself ingratiation good talk about my spray.

[Nikki Glaser]

Tan something i don't know i always comment on i just try to get.

[David Spade]

It whatever going on to settle in just settle in yeah yeah yeah yeah.

[Nikki Glaser]

Well make a joke about how i'm trying to dress like dually but like the outfit i'm wearing i just i'm who do i think i am something like that i love it okay find.

[Dana Carvey]

Out if you do i'm gonna set my vcr i saw you last night.

[Nikki Glaser]

Spade on kimmel i guess you were on like a month ago or something like that and i watched your set to like be inspired because you are always so great on those and i watched you before howard too i did howard yesterday and i was like what's the vibe i want to go into with howard like my ideal howard is a spade howard and i didn't nail that but i definitely listened to you before beforehand to like get in the right state of mind so all those.

[David Spade]

Take work the talk shows you gotta those are things you gotta plan out a little bit absolutely you gotta you can't just flounder and just go i'm so interesting you're like nope you gotta.

[Nikki Glaser]

Have a plan and learn that the hard way as well won't do that.

[Dana Carvey]

Again i'll just leave it at this as the business side of my head my final comment is that you're still penetrating the market not a sexual pun and you're you're growing your brand and i do think this special coupled with the roast and the spot you were in and how you killed so it's just kind of cool you are like your own company and it's just doing.

[Nikki Glaser]

Very well thank you dana that means so much to me and like just the fact that i know both of you is true i said it on tiger belly yesterday is is an achievement of my career is like getting to.

[Dana Carvey]

Know well you were my favorite david told you that because david he we'd go to dinners and stuff and people would visit and then you were always the easiest i got to go to.

[Nikki Glaser]

A dinner with you once and then we had such a great talk and then yeah i felt like i like was friends with you afterwards it just took one dinner and it was it was amazing that was one of the best nights of my life like it was so cool i'd love to do it again i would too it felt like it today thank you guys for having me pleasure bye sweetheart enjoy guys.

[David Spade]

Enjoy yourself bye this has been a presentation of odyssey see please follow subscribe leave a like a review all the stuff smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcasts fly on the wall is executive produced by dana carvey and david spade jenna weiss berman of odyssey charlie finan of brillstein entertainment and heather santoro the show's lead producer is greg holtzman.