Focus on the Family with Jim Daly

Episode: Best of 2025: Cultivating Healthy Emotional Habits with Your Children
Date: December 15, 2025
Guest: Michelle Niedert, LPC, author and founder of the "Raising Mentally Healthy Kids" podcast

Episode Overview

This "Best of 2025" episode centers on equipping parents and caregivers with biblically sound, practical strategies for helping children understand, express, and navigate difficult emotions. Host Jim Daly and co-host John Fuller, joined by professional counselor Michelle Niedert, explore common challenges families face regarding children’s emotions—like fear, sadness, and anxiety—and offer actionable, compassionate advice rooted in faith and clinical insight. The conversation is both relatable and encouraging for parents (and grandparents) seeking to foster both emotional health and spiritual growth in their families.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Children’s Big Emotions: Recognizing the Challenge

• Common Fears: "Monsters under the bed, being teased at school, fear of the dark, a best friend moving away… Kids are no strangers to big, difficult emotions and these can be really challenging for parents to navigate." (John Fuller, 01:02)
• Lifelong Relevance: Jim shares how unresolved childhood emotions have a lasting effect and highlights the importance of not underestimating children's insight and sensitivity, especially during times of grief. (Jim Daly, 01:45)
• Children’s Emotional Honesty: Children express emotions more freely due to less developed cultural and personal filters. (Michelle Niedert, 04:09)

2. Common Parenting Mistakes

• Discounting or Ignoring Emotions: Michelle cautions, "If we do that young… you will lose the opportunity to be the emotional compass in your child's life." (Michelle Niedert, 06:21)
• Unapproachable Parenting: Jim Daly warns that dismissiveness can drive children away, undermining trust and safety in the relationship. (Jim Daly, 06:43)

3. Better Ways to Respond: Validation and Resilience

• Practical Steps for Emotional Moments:
  • Get down on the child’s level.
  • Validate their feelings even when pressed for time.
  • "I know you feel sad and I understand that. But we still have to get to preschool." (Michelle Niedert, 07:27)
  • Teach resilience: Allow kids to “take space” but also learn to push through distress at times.
  • Name emotions, ask where they’re felt in the body, and discuss options for expression or coping.
  • "Sometimes parents never come back and that's the issue." (Michelle Niedert, 08:16) — don’t forget to follow up later when there’s time.
  • Integrate faith: "How could God be involved in your sad and help you through it?" (Michelle Niedert, 08:51)

4. Emotional Intelligence Tools

• Frequency & Intensity: Teach kids (and parents) to notice how often and how strongly emotions are felt.
• Scale of 1 to 10: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how scared are you?" helps children gain perspective and engage their logical side. (Michelle Niedert, 05:43; 16:41)
• Listen With Your Eyes: "If we want kids to feel significant… one of the ways we do that is we see them. And that's when we listen with our eyes." (Michelle Niedert, 12:03)

5. Power of Family Origin and Redemption in Christ

• Early experiences "wired" into us—but the Christian family and faith community can rewrite the script.
• Michelle shares her personal story: Growing up with parental anger issues, and the possibility for healing and new beginnings in Christ.
  • "Our diagnosis doesn't have to determine our destiny." (Michelle Niedert, 15:04)

6. Real-Life Scenarios and Memorable Illustrations

• Taco Bell Meltdown: Michelle recounts a humorous but meaningful story where her daughter had a dramatic reaction to a canceled Taco Bell trip.
  • "On a scale of 1 to 10, how big is this really? … 'I know it's a two, but it feels like an eight.'" (Michelle Niedert & Sophia, 16:41)
• Calm Parenting: Parents should strive to be "the calmest person in the room" and model co-regulation with God's peace. (Michelle Niedert, 17:42)
• The Battle for Relationship: "Dr. Phil says this… Do you want to be right or do you want to be in relationship? And as a parent, boom, I want to be in relationship." (Michelle Niedert, 18:20)

7. Spiritual Integration: Turning to God Amid Emotions

• Praying With Children:
  • Keep it short and specific to the emotion or conflict.
  • Affirmational prayer example after a miscommunication with her daughter:
    "God, I am frustrated...but I pray… she would know how loved she is. Even when I'm frustrated with her… she is your gift for me." (Michelle Niedert, prayer, 21:10)
• Distinguishing Between Person and Behavior:
  • "I'm not attacking you as a person. I'm trying to shape your behavior, and that's different." (Jim Daly, 21:46)

8. Helpful Resources & Practices

• Emotional check-in tools: Using books or charts to help children name and process feelings.
• Michelle’s books (for children and teens):
  • God, I Feel Sad
  • God, I Feel Scared
  • Managing Young Emojis (for teens)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Not Dismissing Kids’ Feelings:
  • "You will lose the opportunity to be the emotional compass in your child's life… they're gonna find other sources to be their emotional compass."
    —Michelle Niedert (06:21)
• On Modeling the Right Response:
  • "My expectation of you, is you will be the calmest person in the room. And that means you must co regulate with God because you need his peace that passes all understanding to anchor you so you can anchor them."
    —Michelle Niedert (17:42)
• On the Purpose of Parental Relationship:
  • "Do you want to be right or do you want to be in relationship?... I want to be in relationship. I'm usually right."
    —Michelle Niedert (18:20)
• On Prayer After Emotional Misunderstandings:
  • "[God,] I pray that in Jesus name she would know how loved she is. Even when I'm frustrated with her. At the angriest moment we will ever have together, Sophia will know that I am proud of her and that she is loved because she is your gift for me."
    —Michelle Niedert (21:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:02 – Introduction of main theme: kids’ difficult emotions
• 04:09 – How children's emotional expressions differ from adults
• 06:02 – Common mistakes parents make (ignoring emotions)
• 07:27 – Concrete steps for parental validation under time pressure
• 09:19 – Family loss: Michelle's personal story and impact on her son
• 12:03 – The importance of "listening with your eyes"
• 15:23 – "Taco Bell meltdown" and using logic to shift emotional perspective
• 16:41 – Using a scale of 1-10 for emotions
• 17:42 – Parents as "the calmest person in the room"
• 18:20 – "Do you want to be right or in relationship?"
• 20:23 – How to pray with your child in emotionally charged moments
• 22:03 – Distinguishing between behavior and self-worth
• 22:25 – Emotional vocabulary tools and resources for families
• 23:26 – Affirmation of the importance of supporting families; impact of Focus resources

Summary & Takeaway

• Children’s emotions matter deeply, are often misunderstood or minimized, and shape their lifelong resilience and faith.
• Parents must lead with empathy, validation, and spiritual integration—not just discipline or logic.
• Michelle Niedert’s practical strategies (naming emotions, scaling, reflective listening) and Christian perspective provide a toolkit for meaningful connection and growth.
• Creating emotional safety and open communication at home—rooted in God's love—sets the stage for children’s emotional and spiritual health.

Quote to remember:
"You want to be an extension cord of [God] to your kids and plug them in." (Michelle Niedert, 20:05)

Recommended next steps:

• Practice intentional, non-distracted attention (“listening with your eyes”)
• Use questions about emotion intensity and bodily feelings with your children
• Pray with your children, focusing on affirmation and reassurance
• Explore resources like God, I Feel Sad and God, I Feel Scared for guided emotional conversations

For details on resources or to learn more about Michelle Niedert’s work, visit the Focus on the Family website (link in episode show notes).