Create Lifelong Memories with Your Kids Through Reading

Summary

Podcast Summary: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly Episode: Create Lifelong Memories with Your Kids Through Reading Release Date: June 3, 2025

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Introduction

In this enlightening episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, hosts Jim Daly and John Fuller delve into the profound impact of reading aloud to children. Joined by guest Sarah McKenzie—a blogger, podcaster, speaker, and mother of six—the discussion highlights how shared reading experiences can forge deep familial connections, enhance academic performance, and nurture essential life skills in children.

The Power of Reading Aloud

Jim Daly opens the conversation by underscoring the significant benefits of reading with children. He shares compelling statistics, such as an additional day of reading per week boosting standardized test scores by 15-30% for children aged 1 to 10. Daly emphasizes that reading aloud is not just an academic tool but a foundational activity that can predict future success and prevent educational underachievement.

Notable Quote:

"If you read an extra day with your child, you know, just that extra time during the week for kids ages 1 to 10 that increases their standardized test scores by 15 to 30%."
— Jim Daly [00:26]

Sarah McKenzie's Personal Insights

Sarah McKenzie shares her personal journey and passion for reading aloud to her children. She addresses a common skepticism among parents who may view simple activities as ineffective, highlighting how reading aloud is both accessible and highly impactful.

Notable Quote:

"If we could package into a pill, for example, all the benefits that just reading aloud to our kids would give them, we would all pay exorbitant amounts of money and stand in long lines to get it."
— Sarah McKenzie [03:36]

Building Language and Cognitive Skills

The discussion transitions to the cognitive benefits of reading aloud, particularly in language development. McKenzie explains how auditory language input from reading aloud aids children in acquiring sophisticated language patterns, which are often not developed through self-reading alone.

Notable Quote:

"Language coming in through the ear has a pretty profound effect on kids, even differently than language they're reading with their eyes."
— Sarah McKenzie [04:14]

Creating Lasting Memories and Connections

Through engaging anecdotes, McKenzie illustrates how shared reading fosters emotional connections and creates lasting memories. She recounts a memorable trip to the zoo where her child's attention to an ant while waiting for a walrus became a metaphor for finding joy in simple moments—a lesson paralleled by the profound yet simple act of reading together.

Notable Quote:

"The beauty and the connection that can happen in this tiny little ordinary moment... reading aloud is this really simple, unassuming ant that can actually make a really big difference."
— Sarah McKenzie [05:42]

Empathy and Moral Development

McKenzie emphasizes that reading fiction allows children to develop empathy and moral reasoning by experiencing diverse perspectives and witnessing characters navigate challenges. This exposure equips children with the ability to handle real-life obstacles with resilience and understanding.

Notable Quote:

"We are walking in the shoes of someone else and we're seeing the world from someone else's point of view... giving our kids the opportunity to bear witness to that kind of facing of obstacles and sticking through."
— Sarah McKenzie [12:53]

Maintaining Reading Habits Beyond Early Childhood

Addressing a common misconception, McKenzie advocates for continuing to read aloud even as children gain reading proficiency. She argues that listening comprehension remains crucial and that shared reading can adapt to accommodate changing family dynamics and children's growing independence.

Notable Quote:

"Our listening comprehension, our reading comprehension through the ear is always higher than it is through our eyes."
— Sarah McKenzie [15:24]

Practical Tips for Parents

The conversation offers actionable advice for integrating reading into busy family schedules. McKenzie suggests short, consistent reading sessions and creating interactive environments where children can engage with the material through activities like drawing or building with Legos during read-aloud times.

Notable Quote:

"Just trying to find a 10-minute pocket... If you read aloud for 10 minutes every other day, you will read for 30 hours over the course of the year."
— Sarah McKenzie [18:49]

Encouraging Meaningful Conversations

McKenzie highlights the importance of fostering genuine dialogue about the stories being read. Instead of quiz-like questions, she recommends open-ended inquiries that encourage children to express their thoughts and feelings, thereby deepening their understanding and connection to the material.

Notable Quote:

"Who was the most courageous in this story? And you could ask your child that and see what they say... it changes from a quiz where they're worried about getting it right or wrong to my parent actually wants to talk to me."
— Sarah McKenzie [21:05]

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Jim Daly and Sarah McKenzie reinforcing the overarching message that reading aloud is a powerful, accessible tool for building stronger families and preparing children for life's challenges. By making reading a regular, enjoyable part of daily life, parents can create meaningful and lasting connections with their children.

Notable Quote:

"In the end, we have the greatest book that's ever been written... helping your kids read scripture, understand scripture, and hopefully eventually live scripture as best as they can, that is the goal."
— Jim Daly [25:09]

Final Thoughts

Jim Daly and John Fuller encourage listeners to embrace the simple yet profound practice of reading aloud, reassuring parents that even brief, consistent efforts can yield significant benefits for their children's academic and personal growth.

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This summary encapsulates the key discussions and insights from the episode "Create Lifelong Memories with Your Kids Through Reading," offering actionable advice and inspiring narratives to help families thrive together.

Transcript

[Sarah McKenzie]

Reading did this interesting thing where it put us almost on the same side of the fence because now we're reading and we're cheering and rooting for the same characters and we're holding our breath at the same moment or gasping. You know, it realigned us to remind us who we are.

[John Fuller]

That's Sarah McKenzie, and she joins us today on FOCUS on the Family with Jim Daly sharing her passion for encouraging you as a mom and dad to read aloud to your kids. I'm John Fuller.

[Jim Daly]

John, this is a great topic and I think people are going to see this and hear this as we unfold it. When you read with your children, the benefits, they are astounding. Let me give you one stat. If you read an extra day with your child, you know, just that extra time during the week for kids ages 1 to 10 that increases their standardized test scores by 15 to 30%. Oh, my goodness. You mean you start looking for a silver bullet? This is one of those things. Teaching your kids how to read and reading aloud with your children brings so much benefit. I mean, there's another crazy statistic that people that are in jail today were typically severely underperforming in their reading skills. At grade level. They're well below grade level. It just can set you up predictably for failure. For those that read at grade level or higher, it predictably suggests that they're going to be quite successful in school, in college, et cetera, professionally. So parents, don't take this subject lightly. Reading with your kids is really critical. And with that, we're going to talk to our guest today about the importance of doing it and how to do it.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. And Sarah McKenzie is a blogger, podcaster and speaker, and she and her husband Andrew, have six children. The book we're going to be talking about today, I think it belongs in every family's. What would the room be? It's not a library anymore. It's the family room, the kitchen. This is a must have book. It's called the Read Aloud Making Meaningful and Lasting Connections with your Kids. And we want to encourage you to get a copy of this from us here at the ministry. We've got details in the show notes.

[Jim Daly]

Sarah, welcome to FOCUS on the family.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Thank you so much. It is a pleasure to be here.

[Jim Daly]

It was a pretty passionate open there for me because I've seen so much of the data and this is critical. We have something called Highly Capable Kids and it's a program that we take into public schools and some Christian schools. We just have that curriculum developed, but it has Been super successful. And it's found its way into most of the kind of the poorer districts in the country, Title 1 schools where they serve hot lunch, et cetera. But it's helping parents to better understand the need to read with their kids, be with their kids, do academic things with their kids, and guess what? Kids are doing great. It raises test scores. That program has been shown to raise test scores by 27, 28. So there is something here about being with your children, reading with your children. It sounds almost too simplistic, but what have you seen about the benefits of reading with your kids?

[Sarah McKenzie]

I actually think that's the catch right there. It does seem too simplistic, so we almost don't trust it. I don't know. As a mother, I often think if something's enjoyable or kind of easy to do, then it's probably not as effective as the stuff that's really hard.

[Jim Daly]

You're suspicious. Can it only cost a dollar? It should cost $100.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Exactly. Yes.

[Jim Daly]

And then I'll believe it. But it is true. And concent on some of these basics are the right thing to do.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Well, in his book, the Read Aloud Handbook, Jim Trel says that if we could package into a pill, for example, all the benefits that just reading aloud to our kids would give them, we would all pay exorbitant amounts of money and stand in long lines to get it. But because it's free and doesn't require anything more than really just grabbing a book from the shelf and sitting down and reading with your kids. Yeah, and not even that much of it, actually. That's one of the things that I think is curious that we tend to think the things that are good for our kids we need to do a lot of. But we can see profound impact on the kids, even if we're only reading 10 minutes every other day with them.

[Jim Daly]

Think about that. Yeah. Now, one of the things my boys and I, you know, I had the bedtime story, that was my chore. And it was a great chore. It was one I loved to do. And we constantly read over and over Goodnight Moon to the point where I had to start making up new nouns for that book because, you know, the comb, the mush turned into oatmeal and. But the kids loved it. And they could recite that. I think even today in their 20s, they could verbatim recite that. But it was fun. It was fairly quick. And, you know, it just got to the point of them hearing me pronounce words. And I did some funny things just to Keep it spicy. And it worked. But that's what we're kind of talking about.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yeah. So one of the things that we don't realize is that language coming in through the ear has a pretty profound effect on kids, even differently than language they're reading with their eyes. I think most of us have a bias toward, you know, having our kids be able to read, which is, of course, an important skill. But what we know is that when kids are really good readers, the better they get at reading, the more they're skipping words, the faster they get at reading. So those language patterns, those complete, sophisticated, grammatically correct language patterns aren't being stored in their brain the same way they are. If you were being read to.

[Jim Daly]

Let me ask you. You have a story. This is funny, from when your kids were younger, about taking them to the zoo to see the walrus. What was the thrill of that? And then what did your daughter teach you?

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes. So this is when my older kids, who are now all young adults, but when they were younger, we would take this weekly excursion to the zoo, and I would let them pick. We're homeschoolers. So we could go in the middle of the day when no one else was there.

[Jim Daly]

That's a good plan.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yeah, it's a great plan. And I would say each of you can pick one animal. That's what we're gonna see. Because if you've ever taken a bunch of young kids to the zoo, too, and you're, like, trying to walk them around, everyone's sweating and exhaust, like, we're at the zoo. Have a good time. Right. So it's a.

[Jim Daly]

It's a zoo taking the kids to the zoo.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Exactly. That's true. So we go to the walrus, and this particular enclosure, the walrus, is mostly behind in this private space, and you just have to kind of wait till he or she. I can't remember. Comes out by the glass. So we're sitting there waiting, and I'm telling them, this is going to be amazing. Oh, watch the water's rippling. Here it comes. And Allison, who I think was about 6 or 7 at the time, all of a sudden, the walrus comes into view, and I hear her say, oh, Mommy, look. And so I look over to see her face, and she is on her hands and knees, staring at an ant on the sidewalk that's carrying a piece of food larger than itself. And I remember thinking, like, walrus, ant. And I thought, wow, what a picture of how our kids can help us slow down and see the ordinary beauty in our Lives. Here I am waiting for this big walrus moment, you know, and she's teaching me that the beauty and the connection that can happen in this tiny little ordinary moment. We can see ants any day of the week, just go into my driveway. There's plenty of them there. Right. But that's one of the things that I think reading aloud can do, actually. It feels too simple, too ordinary, too mundane. That on a normal day we can just pick up a book and read on the couch for a few minutes and it can make this huge difference, we think. It takes big walrus sized solutions, tutors or private schools or lots of money and time invested. And there are good things to all of those things as well. But reading aloud is this really simple, unassuming ant that can actually make a really big.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, that's so funny. The observation of a seven year old. Oh, that's a nice walrus. Let's look at the ant. That's funny. The other side of this, you know, even talking about my boys and Goodnight Moon, obviously that grew into their later years with reading scripture together, reading out loud together, one chapter for them to read, a chapter for me to read, which was all. We're still doing that, if you can believe it. I mean, Troy's 22 and we're going through different books of the Bible. And you know, it is, I was thinking the other night, you know, he breezed through the scripture talking about Melchizedek and he was pronouncing it accurately. You know, I know he's older now, but I was still. I don't think I learned Melchizedek until I was in my 30s.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Exactly. I wouldn't have said it out loud right now without checking with you first.

[Jim Daly]

You know, it's kind of that good thing again and you get something you could do for a long time. But how does reading connect families? Not just the benefits of it, but connection.

[Sarah McKenzie]

This is the part that I think really took me by surprise because I had read about how reading aloud improves academics and it helps. We know it also helps kids grow to be more empathetic, compassionate, kind, because of the way that as they're reading, they're walking a mile in the shoes of somebody else. But then what really took me by surprise is how reading is. These books gave our family almost an inside language, inside jokes, kind of similar to what happens when you go watch a movie as a family and then somebody quotes the movie later and everybody laughs. But you're doing it with these books. You have so many more connection points to pull From.

[Jim Daly]

Right.

[Sarah McKenzie]

The other piece that I noticed as my older kids were getting into their teen years is that as we were starting to butt heads with each other, which happened, you know, once or twice. Yeah.

[John Fuller]

Just go.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yeah. Reading did this interesting thing where it put us almost on the same side of the fence because now we're reading and we're cheering and rooting for the same characters and we're holding our breath at the same moment or gasping. You know, it realigned us to remind us who we are.

[John Fuller]

I like that there was a moment. And I don't remember if we ever read the Wingfeather books or not. Maybe we did and I've just forgotten. I mean, it has been a while since my kids were a read aloud kind of age. But there is a parenting moment for you that came out of this series. What was that about?

[Sarah McKenzie]

So in this is a fabulous series by Andrew Peterson. And in the book, there is a grandpa pirate like character who tends this garden. And there are these creatures that come and mess up the garden all the time. They're called thwaps. It's a fantasy novel. And I remember at one point, our oldest three are girl, girl, boy, and our son had been sneaking into the girl's bedroom again. And so one of the girls.

[Jim Daly]

Hiding in the closet.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Right. I don't. Was he hiding? He's probably hiding in the closet. Something like that. Yes. Hiding to surprise them. So one of the girls comes out and mom, Drew is hiding in our bedroom again. You've got to tell him to leave us alone. Leave our stuff alone. And in that moment, I knew I could lecture again and tell Drew again all the things I'd said before. But I happened to spy on the counter the Wing Feather saga, which we had been reading. And it just hit me all of a sudden and I said, drew, don't be a thwap. And they all burst in out laughing because I knew what it meant. Yeah, don't go in places you don't belong, mess things up and just cause chaos. And so that was of those joyful moments where I thought, look at that. That ended up being light and probably stuck better. I'm sure he snuck into their room again after that.

[John Fuller]

I'm not sure.

[Jim Daly]

And what a good way to get the point across without, you know, without confrontation.

[John Fuller]

It didn't have to be heavy handed.

[Jim Daly]

Right? Exactly. You alluded to this in terms of empathy, but how does reading aloud to our kids prepare them for the challenges that they'll face later in life? I mean, that sounds like a really good lesson.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yeah. I mean, as a mother, I know the thing that worries me most is how do I know that I'm giving my kids everything they need, which you can't. First of all, you also can't know what they need. You know, now my older kids are moving into young adulthood. I've got a missionary and an art student and an economist. They're all very different. They all need very different things. So I would spend a lot of time and energy worrying about how to give them what they need. And what occurred to me at one point is that every time we read a book, we are walking in the shoes of someone else and we're seeing the world from someone else's point of view and a world that might look similar to ours and a lot of times doesn't look similar to ours. And we're giving our kids the chance to watch heroes display tremendous virtue, fortitude, and have to overcome. Almost every single story has a point around the 75% mark where it seems like all is lost, hope is gone. There's no way that this hero, this main character, is going to be able to succeed. And I think if we're just reading story after story after story, what we're giving our kids is the opportunity to bear witness to that kind of facing of obstacles and sticking through and what, like the consequences of what happens when there are bad decisions and good decisions and fortitude. And they've now borne witness to this so many times that it won't take them off guard.

[Jim Daly]

Hopefully, somehow, you know, as Christians, sometimes we shy away from that. But the power of entertainment is it does have a rather formulaic approach, the villain, the hero, et cetera, which I think is kind of seen as Tolkien or C.S. lewis would say, that's kind of right there in Scripture, right? This is coming from God. He's the ultimate storyteller. Speaking of stories, you had a story in the book about a friendship between a girl named Rebecca and a boy named Billy. Tell us about that.

[Sarah McKenzie]

So a woman named Toni told me this story. And she said her daughter Rebecca went to VBS one year and would come home every day. She had met this new friend and Billy, and as she would talk about him, she would say what his favorite food was or the funny thing that had happened at vbs. And she. She just talk about how much she loved this new friend, Billy, every single day. So the final day of VBS comes. Tony goes to that parents, you know, production show thing that they oftentimes do at the end of a VBS week. And her daughter Rebecca says, mom, I want you to come meet my friend Billy. And Billy comes over and he's on a walker. He has cerebral palsy. And Tony thought, wow, Rebecca never mentioned that I know so many things about this kid. And she never once mentioned that he used to walk her or had cerebral palsy. And she also noticed that most of the other kids were kind of shying away from him. So she asked her daughter on the way home, she said, I'm so glad you were Billy's friend. It didn't seem like he had many other friends there. And she said, you know, mom, it reminded me so much of when you read us Johnny Tremaine. Because in Johnny Tremaine, the main character is a Silver Smith revolutionary America. Right at the beginning of the book, he is disabled. In his hand, he's scalded and he becomes a messenger, a horse riding messenger for the sons of Liberty. But she, this child thought, wow, I know what it's like for a person to feel alone and have no friends. Because that's exactly how Johnny felt in Johnny Tremaine. And then she saw it in her real life, did something about it. And this is why I think if it's a lot of times we talk about fiction, we say something like we're escaping to fiction or our kids are escaping from their lives. I just don't think that's true. Because we live in story, because God made us as a story. When we're able to read a story on the page, this is how it comes out in our actions with other people. I really think that reading fiction helps us love God and love each other better because we're just being re reminded so much of the story that we are a part of the bigger story that we're a part of.

[John Fuller]

And Sarah, I was really struck by something you wrote in the book about how bad it is, how unfortunate it is that oftentimes we stop reading at a certain age. But actually our kids are learning life lessons all through life past that and we should keep persevering. So there's kind of a mind shift a lot of us need to make. It's not like 10 years old, I'm done reading to you, but 10 years old, I need to keep reading to you.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yeah, there's two things that stand out to me about that. One is that about the time kids can read on their own about 10 years old, when there is also the time that they start to break away from us a little bit. And we need the extra points of connection. We need More opportunities to connect with them. The other important piece here is that our kids can always. Our listening comprehension, our reading comprehension through the ear is always higher than it is through our eyes. So this is true as well for young kids. A 4 year old can't read the lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe perhaps, but they can absolutely understand it when their mom or dad reads it to them, right? Or they listen to the audiobook. Same thing is true with older kids. One of my favorite, most cherished memories as a mom with my older kids is when my now 19 year old son was in high school and we listened to the audiobook the screwtape letters by C.S. lewis. And it was so amazing. One thing I should point out here too is that if you, anyone who's watching or listening thinks my kids will not sit still for a book. This child never has sat still for a minute in his life, still to this day. And when I would, we would read aloud or when we listened to an audiobook, even in high school, he'd be doing push ups, he'd be doing sit ups for when he was younger, he'd be jumping on the trampoline. And I would think there is no way this kid is listening. But he actually listens better when he moves his body. Even my girls will color or draw while they're listening and listen better that way. But we listened to the C.S. lewis's the Screwtape Letters. We listened to it all the way through. I had read it before, but we got to the end, I said, do you want to read it again? He's like, yes. So we started it again and we read a little bit every day, listened to a little bit every day, caught things we missed the first time. Now this is a 16, 17 year old kid. I can't remember quite how old he was when we did this and still 19 years old. I asked him not that long ago, what was one of your favorite books we read together when you were growing up. First thing he said was the Screwtape Letters.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, just made that impact. I think it's one of the reasons Adventures in Odyssey has been so successful.

[Sarah McKenzie]

I think that's true.

[Jim Daly]

You know, it's just, it's always been that drama, audio drama and people have loved it. We are gonna bring it out in an animated form next year. So we're excited about that. But still, radio, theater, another thing that we did, of course we hired Andy Serkis as one of the voices. Of course he was Gollum in Lord of the Rings, but did a brilliant in our version of the C.S.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Lewis screwtape letters. That is the best audio version of the Screwtape letters, hands down.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, it's right up there. I mean, BBC voice talent, we went all out on that one. But it's been a terrific production. And people can still get access to that. Maybe, John, you can let them know how. I want to hit the myths that you speak about. And these are the myths why parents don't read aloud to their kids. Hit those if you could.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yeah, a couple of them that come to mind that I think are really common. One is that we all have way too much to do. There's so much to do.

[Jim Daly]

We're so busy.

[John Fuller]

His parents.

[Jim Daly]

Wah, wah, wah, wah. Yeah, I got it.

[Sarah McKenzie]

But we are for all the moms.

[Jim Daly]

Out there, but that's not a great excuse.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Well, here's the deal.

[Jim Daly]

Dad step up.

[Sarah McKenzie]

That's true. Absolutely. Especially at the end of the day. There is no mother on the face of the planet who has the energy to read aloud to her children at bedtime. They're doing it because they are good mothers. But all the dads out there should definitely be reading at that time of day and giving mom a break. I will say, I think that so often we think we have to wait till we have 30 minutes to read aloud. Or maybe you wait till all of your kids. And if you have older kids and younger kids, they're never all at home at the same time. Exactly. It's tricky. So I would suggest just trying to find a 10 minute pocket. Even if it's I read aloud to you while you eat breakfast or for 10 minutes after dinner if you're doing a family dinner. When we're done, we're all gonna read for 10 minutes before you go off on your merry way. Whatever you're doing. If you read aloud for 10 minutes every other day, you will read for 30 hours over the course of the year. And you could read. Speaking of CS Lewis, you could read the entire Chronicles of Narnia in a year doing it that way. So it's not a huge commitment. Another myth, I think is that, and this is especially true in the world of social media, we see these pictures of kids who are being read to and they just sit. They're sitting all primly and open in.

[Jim Daly]

Their suit and ties.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes.

[Jim Daly]

And dresses.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes. And the house is perfectly clean. And it's not true. Kids oftentimes listen better when they're doing something with their hands. So I would have a bin in the closet that had like, play doh crayons Drawing paper, things like that that we could pull out, and the kids could. I would say, guys, in five minutes, we're going to read aloud. And I would just pull that bin out, and then they could all do something with their hands. Legos are great for this as well. Although this is my mom tip here. If you're gonna do Legos during a read aloud, make your kids tip them out before you start. Because if they dip their hand into those Lego bins and start rifling around, all of your nerve endings will explode on fire.

[Jim Daly]

And don't let them leave it on the floor, because then the other nerve.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Endings will get exactly.

[Jim Daly]

Ouch.

[John Fuller]

I'm just gonna say this was something I had to get over, was I thought my children should listen to me attentively as I was going through a book. I mean, it just took a while.

[Jim Daly]

You demanded eye contact.

[John Fuller]

Well, when I had a group of kids, it was sort of like, please pay attention. And I realized, no, be doing something.

[Jim Daly]

I could see that.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. I mean.

[Jim Daly]

Firstborn thing.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, let go.

[Jim Daly]

Hey, we want to party. Let's all move and wiggle and let it hang.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Interesting, because as a listener myself, when I'm listening to podcasts or audiobooks, I don't sit there and listen. I fold the laundry or take the kids on a walk or the dogs on a walk, or I'm driving the car. And if I was just sitting there, I think I would. My brain would not be focusing on what I was listening to.

[Jim Daly]

You also talk about five keys of conversation in the book. The idea that, you know, I could see this man. I could feel it, because Gene and I, you know, we typically were kind of formulaic. You know, let's read now. Let's discuss the application that we might have. You know, we both went to college, so that's the mode you get into. How did that book make you feel, Trent? You say, that's not really the way to go.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Well, if you were to finish a book that you really loved. Okay, let's just imagine you and your wife are in bed. You're reading, and you finish it, and you put it down, and you look at your wife, and you're like, that was so good. And she says, okay, well, before we discuss it, I want to make sure that you really read it and understood it. So she opens it up and starts asking you, where did it take place? What time period was this test? Yes. And what happens so often is we end up treating our kids. Kids like it's a quiz. And what they're then Answering is what does my parent want me to say instead of, oh, my parents really interested in what that reading experience was like for me. So one of the ways around this is to not ask a question at all, but to use an open ended question, something like, who was courageous in this story? That's one of my favorites. Who was the most courageous in this story? And you could ask your child that and see what they say. But if they're in the habit of answering quiz like questions, it would be even better, I think for the parent after reading aloud a book together to say, gosh, you know who's really surprisingly courageous in the lion, the Witch and the wardrobe? Mr. Tumnus. You know, when he did XYZ, that was really. Who do you think might have been kind of courageous? And all of a sudden it changes from a quiz where they're worried about getting it right or wrong to my parent actually wants to talk to me.

[Jim Daly]

A discussion.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes.

[John Fuller]

Which is cool.

[Jim Daly]

No, that's so good. I was thinking about that, like, even with movies you should be doing that. Like, why did the bad guy, why did he do such a good job in playing that role?

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes, that's a great question.

[Jim Daly]

Just the way he snarled, the way he treated somebody. Right. Yeah, that's a good way to do it.

[Sarah McKenzie]

A great question I think you can use for absolutely any book or movie or anything. And he doesn't even take any brain power is what is something you don't wanna forget about that story? And that's something that if you were reading that book and you put it down and you told your wife that was so good. If she said what's something you don't wanna forget about it, it doesn't feel like an attack, it doesn't feel like a quiz. And it kind of makes you go. And then you kind of have to think through all the parts of the book. So there's all kinds of thinking that's happening, processing that's happening in a really beautiful, connected way.

[Jim Daly]

One of those great books. And it is also a movie, wizard of Oz.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes.

[Jim Daly]

So you've got, you know, kind of suggested in the book some ways to talk to your children about something like the wizard of Oz.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Yes. This book surprised me because the book I think is so much more delightful than the movie and it's not nearly as scary. And the Wicked Witch is very much a smaller part of the story than she is in the movie. Anyway. I had pretty sensitive kids at this age and thought this might be a little scary for them. No, it wasn't too scary. But one of the surprising conversations that came up was when the question of would you rather have a brain or a heart? Came up because we're talking about the Scarecrow and the tin man and they're arguing over which one is more important. And I remember saying, stopping and just saying, what do you think is more important, a brain or a heart? And of course my oldest firstborn is like a brain, obviously, and her little sister goes, but without a heart, how can you love, how can you love God? And of course my oldest was like, not to be outdone. So we came up with this great conversation that never, we never would have had that conversation with a 9 and 7 year old otherwise.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, that's so cool. And that's a great place to end because in the end, I mean, we have the greatest book that's ever been written, right? So to parlay all of that back into helping your kids read scripture, understand scripture, and hopefully eventually live scripture as best as they can, that is the goal, right?

[Sarah McKenzie]

That's right.

[Jim Daly]

This has been so good. Thanks for being with us, Sarah. Thanks for your work in this wonderful book, the read aloud, making meaningful and lasting connections with your kids. I think that's one of the great things all parents want to do and you've done a beautiful job putting it here.

[Sarah McKenzie]

Thank you. Thank you. Focus on the families doing such good work in the world. It's an honor to be here.

[Jim Daly]

We're doing our best. But listen, if you can be a part of the ministry, why not support the ministry monthly or a one time gift, $10. If you haven't given to the ministry. Only about 1% of the listenership actually supports us. Let's make a 2%. That would be a great help to us to do more, to help more marriages stay together, to help parents do the best job they can do, to help save a baby's life from abortion, to help that mom do better and that dad and so much more. There's so many good things going on here. Just do it. And in exchange, we will say thank you by sending you Sarah's book, the Read Aloud Family. And guaranteed I'm going to say it. We're going to guarantee your child will do far better than if you don't read aloud.

[John Fuller]

Get a hold of us today and donate as you can online. We've got the link in the show notes or give us a call 800, the letter A and the word family. And by the way, when you're online, check out all the great resources we have for you. As a family. We've got kids magazines. We've got radio theater. As Jim mentioned, there's so much here for you as a parent. Just stop by today. And again, the link is in the show notes. And thanks for joining us today for FOCUS ON THE FAMILY with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

[Unknown]

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