Finding God's Love When You Feel Broken (Part 2 of 2)

Podcast: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Original Air Date: September 12, 2025
Guests: Dr. John Trent and Carrie Stageberg
Host(s): Jim Daly and John Fuller

Overview of the Episode

In this heartfelt continuation of their conversation, Jim Daly and John Fuller invite Dr. John Trent and his daughter Carrie Stageberg to share practical insights about discovering God’s love and blessing when struggling with a broken past. Through personal stories of pain, reconciliation, and hope, the episode speaks powerfully to anyone experiencing the aftermath of family dysfunction, prodigal seasons, or deep wounds. The central theme is the transformative power of blessing—both receiving and giving it—and how God’s love meets us in our darkest valleys, guiding us toward healing and restoration.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Weight of Blessing and Its Absence

• Defining “Blessing”: Many may not realize they’ve lacked a parental blessing, yet the absence shapes our lives profoundly—sometimes leaving a “curse” instead of affirmation (03:10).

  • “If you feel broken in some place, which if you’re human, you probably do, you need that blessing. You need to feel like people see you. You’re known, you’re created for a purpose.” – Host (01:28)

• Childhood Brokenness: Modern families are deeply affected by single parenthood, addiction, and loss of parental roles (03:34).

2. Coping Mechanisms & Looking Deeper Than Behavior

• Surface vs. Core Issues: Christians are often quick to target destructive behaviors, but these are symptoms of more profound wounds—what’s underneath is what Christ seeks to heal (05:15).

  • “We don’t set off to be miserable… when you’re lacking that sense of blessing and it’s so vital, it’s so crucial… when you have God’s blessing in particular… there’s a deep sense of finally being able to relax.” – Dr. John Trent (05:20)

• The Need for Connection: Humans are made for connection, and rejection leads to self-medication or idolatry (fame, money, etc.) to fill that void (06:16, 07:13).

3. Encountering God in Brokenness

• Personal Testimony: Carrie shares a harrowing story of a devastating car accident that left her as a caretaker for her husband, illustrating ongoing brokenness even after finding faith (10:04).

  • “Brokenness doesn’t stop once you’ve found Christ… what has helped me so much is going, I have this journal and I call it my blessing journal… every place that God has shown up, big or small.” – Carrie Stageberg (10:04)

• The Practice of Gratitude: In the valley, gratitude counters fear and anchors joy. Carrie’s uncle’s encouragement—“gratitude is the antidote to fear, gratitude is the tap root of joy”—became a survival tool (12:54).

4. Changing the Picture of Your Past

• Story of Josiah: Dr. Trent references Josiah, the biblical king who broke from a legacy of evil by choosing a new father figure in David, “hundreds of years earlier,” suggesting we have agency in whom we allow to shape us (14:33).

• Redefining Family: Dr. Trent recounts how a Young Life leader, Doug Barum, became the positive “dad figure” he’d never had, showing love in practical, everyday ways and providing an experience of blessing (16:11–18:23).

  • “When you see God’s love… he gets somebody out of the blue to step into your life, and that starts your journey from broken to blessed.” – Dr. John Trent (18:24)

5. Forgiveness, Boundaries, and Restoring Broken Relationships

• Return of the Prodigal: When Carrie returned home after escaping an abusive marriage, her father’s response was pivotal:

  • “My dad just put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Carrie, it’s not about where you’ve been, it’s about where you’re going.’ And he gave me his blessing… That doesn’t mean that trust was restored in that moment… but I knew in that moment that there was literally nothing I could do that would cause my parents to say, 'that's it, we're done.'” – Carrie Stageberg (19:50)

• “Drip Irrigation” Blessing: Blessing is not just a grand gesture, but the accumulation of many small moments of acceptance and love, even in the midst of ongoing struggles with boundaries and healing (22:08).

6. When the Loops Aren’t Closed—Letting Jesus Fill the Gaps

• Unfinished Stories: Dr. Trent reflects on the bittersweet reality that some relationships are never reconciled before death. With his own alcoholic father, he did not receive the blessing he desperately wanted, but found wholeness through other “fathers” God brought into his life (22:36).

  • “For some of us, you gotta prepare for that last day where maybe they won’t [bless you]… but I'm so grateful, man, I had Jesus… people that God had put in your life that can help you reverse the curse.” – Dr. John Trent (24:32)

• Jesus Closes the Loop: Carrie echoes this truth concerning her ex-husband: “Jesus is the one that has had to close that loop for me. And, you know, he's able to do that.” (24:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On waiting to be chosen and the “weight of glory”:
  • “It's as if the door we've been knocking on all our life is finally opened and somebody welcomes us in.” – Dr. John Trent referencing CS Lewis (06:16)
• On the role of gratitude in crisis:
  • “Gratitude is the antidote to fear. Gratitude is the tap root of joy.” – Carrie's uncle, as quoted by Carrie Stageberg (12:54)
• On blessing after failure:
  • “It’s not about where you've been, it’s about where you're going.” – Dr. John Trent, to Carrie Stageberg (19:50)
• On realism about reconciliation:
  • “For some of us, we're going to end up... never able to close the loop. But I'm so grateful... people that God had put in your life that can help you reverse the curse.” – Dr. John Trent (24:32)

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:31 | Carrie describes her years as a prodigal and her parents’ response | | 05:15 | Discussion: Coping mechanisms vs. deeper wounds | | 10:04 | Carrie’s accident story and maintaining faith in the valley | | 12:54 | The power of gratitude in overcoming fear and pain | | 14:33 | Dr. Trent’s story about Josiah, choosing new “pictures” for your past | | 16:11 | Dr. Trent shares about the Young Life leader who showed him fatherly love | | 19:50 | Carrie’s return home and the healing power of her father’s blessing | | 22:36 | Dr. Trent on not receiving a final blessing from his father | | 24:40 | Carrie: sometimes only Jesus can “close the loop” of reconciliation |

Tone & Closing Thoughts

The episode is marked by honesty, hope, and practical biblical wisdom. The speakers openly acknowledge how family wounds and unhealed trauma affect generations, but insist that cycles can be broken—and hearts healed—through blessing, forgiveness, gratitude, and ultimately, the fatherly love of God found in Christ. The stories shared, both painful and redemptive, serve as a strong testament to the possibility of restoration, even when human relationships remain fractured. As Jim Daly summarizes:

“God wants to patch the holes in our heart with his unconditional love. That’s what motivates us here at Focus.” (24:54)

For resources and more information: See the episode show notes for details on Dr. John Trent and Carrie Stageberg’s book, Your Journey From Broken to Blessed, and for links to Christian counseling support.