Overcoming Burnout to Find Balance and Hope

Summary

Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Episode: Overcoming Burnout to Find Balance and Hope
Release Date: May 12, 2025

In this compelling episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, hosts Jim Daly and John Fuller engage in a heartfelt discussion with Dr. Gregory Jantz on the pervasive issue of burnout. Drawing from personal experiences and professional expertise, Dr. Jantz provides invaluable insights and practical strategies to help listeners navigate and overcome burnout, fostering a balanced and hopeful life.

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Understanding Burnout

The conversation opens with Dr. Gregory Jantz sharing his personal battle with burnout. At [00:04], he confesses, "Unbridled passion, which is what happened to me, led me on a journey that ended up in significant burnout." This candid admission sets the tone for an honest exploration of burnout's impact on individuals' physical and emotional well-being.

John Fuller relates personally to the topic, mentioning his own feelings of burnout from a hectic work schedule and frequent overseas trips. This relatability underscores the universal nature of burnout, affecting diverse roles—from working parents to professionals in high-responsibility positions.

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Defining Burnout vs. Busyness

A key distinction is made between being busy and experiencing burnout. At [02:13], Dr. Jantz emphasizes, "Burnout is an interesting term because what's burnout to you might not be to me." He explains that while busyness can be fulfilling and purposeful, burnout arises when chronic stress leads to neglecting self-care, poor nutrition, inadequate sleep, and strained relationships.

Dr. Jantz recounts his own experience: "I woke up and I hit the wall... I am so depleted physically, I'm definitely depleted emotionally and physically." This moment of realization marks the transition from relentless activity to recognizing the need for change.

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The Prevalence and Impact of Burnout

John Fuller highlights alarming statistics, noting that "70% of people in the course of a year will experience some form of burnout." Dr. Jantz corroborates this, explaining the destructive effects of burnout on both physical health and personal integrity. He shares how his dedication to his work without boundaries ultimately led to a breakdown, demonstrating the critical need for balance.

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Recognizing the Signs of Burnout

Identifying burnout involves recognizing both physical and mental exhaustion. At [04:03], Dr. Jantz describes burnout as more than just fatigue: "It's that total depletion... I am so fried, I don't even care anymore." This emotional exhaustion often leads to apathy and a sense of isolation, as Dr. Jantz experienced during his downturn.

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Strategies to Overcome Burnout

Dr. Jantz introduces several practical strategies to combat burnout, detailed in his book Beyond Regain: Your Passion and Energy.

1. Streamline Your Stress

At [10:42], Dr. Jantz discusses the importance of prioritizing and managing stress. He advises, "What are things I have control or power over that I can influence and what is totally out of my control?" This involves making a list and developing an actionable plan to address manageable aspects while seeking support for overwhelming challenges.

2. Find Sanity Through Simplicity

Simplifying life is crucial. Dr. Jantz and Jim emphasize decluttering not just physically but also emotionally and mentally. At [12:15], he explains, "Decluttering might be even unhealthy relationship decluttering, how I'm spending my time." Simple daily actions, like participating in a community run, can significantly enhance self-care and well-being.

3. Bolster Your Body

Physical well-being is foundational. Dr. Jantz underscores the importance of hydration and proper nutrition. At [14:17], he states, "Water improves concentration, water improves mood." He recommends practical tips such as keeping water bottles at hand and ensuring protein intake in the morning to fuel the brain.

4. Fortify Your Filters

In an age of information overload, managing what we consume is vital. At [17:51], Dr. Jantz advises, "What are you allowing in? Is it primarily negative?" He encourages curating social media feeds with positive content, engaging in regular devotions, and setting boundaries to protect mental health.

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Emulating Jesus' Example of Balance

The hosts and Dr. Jantz reflect on Jesus' practice of retreating to maintain balance. Dr. Jantz explains, "There comes a time for rest... renewal of my spirit, renewal of my body." This biblical example reinforces the necessity of intentional rest and renewal in preventing burnout.

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Implementing Rest and Renewal

Establishing routines that incorporate rest is essential. John Fuller poses the classic work-life-sleep formula, "eight hours of work, eight hours of family time and eight hours of sleep," to which Dr. Jantz agrees, adding the importance of flexibility and grace during demanding periods ([21:30]).

He also emphasizes the importance of listening to feedback from loved ones. When John Fuller recounts his spouse questioning his work habits, Dr. Jantz highlights this as an opportunity for emotional growth and self-awareness.

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Creating Margins in Your Life

Towards the episode's conclusion, the discussion shifts to creating personal margins to maintain balance. Dr. Jantz advocates for writing down tasks and managing mental clutter through practical tools like notepads or digital notes ([22:52]). This practice aids in decluttering the mind and reducing procrastination, a common symptom of burnout.

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Final Reflections and Encouragement

Dr. Jantz shares a poignant reflection on his journey: "I have all the warning signs now because I know what I'm not ever going to go back to." His transformation underscores the possibility of recovery and sustained balance. John Fuller invites listeners experiencing burnout to seek Dr. Jantz's book and resources, offering hope and actionable steps toward a healthier, more balanced life.

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Key Takeaways

• Recognize Burnout: Understand the difference between being busy and experiencing burnout by identifying signs of physical and emotional exhaustion.

• Prioritize Self-Care: Implement strategies such as streamlining stress, simplifying life, maintaining physical health, and managing information intake.

• Emulate Balanced Examples: Follow the example of Jesus by incorporating regular rest and renewal into your routine.

• Create Life Margins: Develop systems to manage tasks and reduce mental clutter, fostering a more organized and stress-free life.

Dr. Gregory Jantz's insights offer a roadmap to overcoming burnout, emphasizing the importance of balance, self-care, and intentional living. His story serves as an inspiring testament to the possibility of reclaiming passion and purpose without succumbing to exhaustion.

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Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Beyond Regain: Your Passion and Energy by Dr. Gregory Jantz
  Available at the Focus on the Family website. Link provided in the show notes or call 800-XXX-FAMILY.

Upcoming Episode:

Understanding How Your Childhood Experiences Will Impact Your Marriage Reactivity – Explore the deep connections between early life experiences and adult relationship dynamics.

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For more insights and support, visit Focus on the Family or call their support line as mentioned in the episode.

Transcript

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

We want to have purpose and passion, but unbridled passion, which is what happened to me, unbridled, led me on a journey that ended up in significant burnout. Physically, I really wasn't well. Emotionally, I wasn't well. This is my confession. And so I have all the warning signs now because I know what I'm not ever going to go back to.

[Jim Daly]

If you're stressed and worn down and lacking motivation in the midst of a busy, hectic life, this conversation is for you. Dr. Gregory Jantz is here to help you as we address the subject of burnout. Welcome to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller.

[John Fuller]

John, man, you're kind of describing where I'm living right now.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Really? Yeah.

[John Fuller]

I just got back from an overseas trip. I'm here five days off to another overseas trip. So I'm feeling a little guilty. A little burnout. Yeah, a little burnout about what's going on. But what a great topic that we have for you today. And we're going to cover some wonderful material by our good friend Dr. Gregory Jantz, who has been with us numerous times. And I'm telling you, I feel it too. Burnout is right there for all of us. And you might be a work at home mom and you're feeling a burnout because you wear so many hats. And we get that you might be working outside the home and you're going to be facing some burnout from time to time. So today we want to allow the scripture to come alive for you where the Lord says, come to me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Well, let's talk about how the Lord will give you that rest.

[Jim Daly]

And Dr. Gregory Jantz is the founder of the Center A Place of Hope in Edmonds, Washington. He's a pioneer in something called whole person care and he's a real innovator in the treatment of mental health, including spiritual counseling. His book on this topic is short and easy to get to, but it's so deep and rich. It's called Beyond Regain youn Passion and Energy. And you can find details about the book at our website. The link is in the show notes Dr. Jantz.

[John Fuller]

Welcome back to Focus on the Family. It's so good to have you again.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

It is always good to have time with you.

[John Fuller]

Now I kind of self disclose my little busy schedule. But you know, after I said that I thought, you know, busyness is not always burnout. It's just busyness. But how the distinction between being busy and then hitting burnout what's the difference?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Sure. And burnout's an interesting term because what's burnout to you might not be to me. And we all have our stage of burnout. And here's how to know if you're there. By the way, I want you to be busy and active and full of passion. And that does not mean you'll be burned out.

[John Fuller]

Right? That's my point.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yes. Because part of that can be renewing to you and you have purpose in doing it. But there reaches a point where we're no longer doing our basic self care. Our nutrition is poor, our sleep is poor, our relationships are suffering a bit, and maybe we're in a period of chronic stress. There's just a lot going on and you just keep going because it's chronic stress. But hey, I can handle this. And I keep going and keep going. But one day, and this is what happened to me. So I'm telling you about what happened to me one day. And I had good intention, I loved what I was doing, but I was living with a lot of chronic stress. I woke up and I hit the wall. And I remember feeling the feeling. It takes energy just to breathe. I remember like, man, I am so. And the word was depleted. I am so depleted physically, I'm definitely depleted emotionally and physically. I'm not well. And it hit me I was in official burnout.

[John Fuller]

So burnout, I mean, is it usually either physical or maybe mental or both? If it's burnout, you're usually experiencing both a mental fatigue as well as a physical.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

There's gonna be the mental fatigue, but it's beyond fatigue. It's that total depletion. I'm in emotional exhaustion, I'm depleted and I enter a zone of apathy when I'm burned out. It's like, oh, I don't even. I don't have the energy to care. I am so fried, I don't even care anymore. That's burnout.

[John Fuller]

Now when we look at the impact of burnout in the culture, I mean, the statistics, the way you're describing that is astounding because it's like 70% of people in the course of a year will experience some form of burnout.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yeah.

[John Fuller]

And burnout, that's like super high.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And it is. And what we do know is that black hole of burnout can be quite destructive to physical well being and what it does to you physically. In my case. I love the vision that God gave us and I was being faithful to it, but I had no boundaries. I didn't have time Boundaries. So if somebody needed to be seen. Oh, sure. And so I was working into every evening, and then we extended my schedule to Saturdays, and then I'm doing Saturdays, and I'm loving what I'm doing, but I ended up not practicing what I was preaching.

[John Fuller]

Interesting.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

This has been years ago, but I had a big crash.

[John Fuller]

You know what's interesting with that? And I want to hear how you tidied that up. But any people in the care field? Because I'm thinking of pastors. Pastors have a high degree of burnout as well, but people that care for other people tend to have a high rate of burnout. Because when do you say no? And there is, like, a moral conviction that you're saying no. I mean, and Jesus faced this, too. He could have healed everybody. Think of it. There was a lot of disease going on, but he would heal some, and then he would retreat.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

There was a rest break for rest.

[John Fuller]

Right. But think of that. Even the Son of God needed to stop and replenish. Yet it feels like, again, if you're in the help industry, like, if mental health or church or Christian work or you name it, this place will take everything you give it. And it will. You can give a lot.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yeah, absolutely.

[John Fuller]

And you need to learn to say no. But how hard was that for you?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

For me, again, most of us have really good intention. I really wanted to, and okay, I'm doing what God called me to do. But after a while, well, I'm embarrassed to say, but, you know, I wouldn't be past working on a Sunday afternoon. So I was not practicing the things that I was preaching. And I really did. I'd had that day. I woke up, I go, I'm not functioning and I'm not doing well. And I had to give my schedule my life. I had. In a word, burnout can create. You're out of control. I was out of control with good intention. And it wasn't that long ago, because I have a before picture and an after picture. I'm in my after picture now. But Lafond, my wife said we were looking. I go, I was telling the story. And she goes, you know, you look a lot better now than you did then. This is years ago.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. Wow.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yeah.

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Because I was not taking care of myself.

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

I felt horrible. So burnout can lead you to depression, can lead you to anxiety. And here's what we really need to also look at. It's a spiritual apathy. It's like, God doesn't care. People don't really understand. So you really do begin to feel like you're isolated, you're alone, and nobody can understand. And so burnout is telling us we've got to make some changes. And I've actually never been happier in the work and the calling that we're doing than I am now. But I wouldn't have made it if I hadn't made changes.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, what are some other physical and then what are some of those mental signs that we need to be aware of that we're approaching burnout or we're in burnout?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

My relationships were suffering, and I was not plugged in. Well, in my Christian community, I had slowly isolated. I used to do so many fun runs, and I'm doing them again.

[John Fuller]

Did you say fun and run?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Fun and run in the same line. That's crazy.

[John Fuller]

There isn't nothing fun about a run.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

So just last weekend, I sign up for this run, okay. And I do it, and it's freezing cold and so forth. And so I decided I'll stay for the awards presentation. I stayed for the awards presentation, and they called my name. I got a second place ribbon for my age category.

[John Fuller]

There you go.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

I go, okay, I'm gonna keep running.

[John Fuller]

Totally unexpected. Now they've hooked me.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

But that's a part of the self care. Yeah, that's just a part of the self care. So for me, I had to decide, okay, how am I gonna really take care of myself, you know? And my oldest son said, hey, dad, it looks like all those vitamins you.

[John Fuller]

Take are working well, and they're probably helping. But it's not the whole story.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

It's not the whole story.

[John Fuller]

In the book, you mention a story about Keisha. I think her. And she came to you for counseling. I'm sure you've changed the names, but she'd been through a divorce and financial issues, parenting issues. And I think she was a single parent.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

She was a single parent.

[John Fuller]

So it was all coming down. What was her?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And I think one of the things that happened was the ex husband stopped paying child support. Finances were huge. She was really trying to keep life together.

[John Fuller]

It's all the normal stress of life.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And then she had a teenage son that discovered alcohol. And then that, as you can imagine, picture of stress and burnout. And she really reached that point where it was beyond burnout. It was, I can't manage anything. And so here she is, single parent, really trying. And knowing her, she was trying to do a great job. And she had things that were working against her. And so she entered a zone of burnout. And for her it was a decision to come and get some help. My life's out of control. And a lot of it was not. It wasn't self induced, it was what was the situation she was in.

[John Fuller]

In fact, I think you put it under that category, streamline your stress. And so it's not getting rid of everything, but having the presence of mind to say, what can I manage here? And what do I have to stop worrying about?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Absolutely.

[John Fuller]

It's like taking an inventory, right?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

It is taking an inventory.

[John Fuller]

So functionally for her, just as an example for the rest of us, with all of those issues you stated that she was dealing with, how did she sort out what to concentrate on and what to let go?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

What are things I have control or power over that I can influence and what is totally out of my control?

[John Fuller]

That's the right question.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yeah. And she actually made a list and then we developed an action plan for like, how are we going to get her son the help that he needs? That's a major stress point. Having a teenage son as you know, and alcohol or drugs and you feel like they're just slipping away from you. And so how do we do an appropriate intervention into that situation? So she came to the realization she couldn't do this alone.

[John Fuller]

No, that's really good. The other key that you mentioned in this little read, I mean, it's not a big book, it's more like a booklet. But it covers so much good stuff. I mean, so that third key was how to find sanity through simplicity. And everybody said, yes, how do you do that? Please, quickly, Dr. Jantz, tell me.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Okay, well, one of it is to declutter. Oh, no, I know, I know.

[John Fuller]

You just gotta start with that one.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

One is to declutter. So every year towards the beginning of the year, our family gets together. We don't really call it family. Well, it's goals. But we have a family meeting at the beginning of each year. And what are we going to focus on this year? I had one. The Lord gave me one word for the new year. My one word was thrive. What do I need to do in my life to keep thriving for him? Okay, and then my wife wanted her word was declutter.

[John Fuller]

Very practical.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

But she had it. Declutter times two. What is declutter times two? And she goes, so she had a formula. And it's the funniest thing because things are changing around our house.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, here we go. I thought that formula meant I'll declutter. That's one, you declutter, that's two. Declutter times two. Me and you.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yeah. She said her goal was, every day I'm just going to do two things that represent. But decluttering is not just physical space. Decluttering might be even unhealthy relationship decluttering, how I'm spending my time. So how do I declutter? Yes, physical and space is important, but part of dealing with burnout is, okay, where do I need to declutter? Emotionally, physically, in my space. And the other piece is, am I procrastinating? When you're burned out, you tend to procrastinate a lot.

[Jim Daly]

And that just hangs there. This is focused on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller and our guest today is Dr. Gregory Jantz. And as Jim has mentioned, there's a short little book, but it's so rich in so many ways. It's called Beyond Regain youn passion and energy. Dr. Jantz has written this. Get a copy from us here at the Ministry. We've got details for you at the website. The link is in the show notes or call 800. The letter A and the word family.

[John Fuller]

All right, the fourth concept that you mentioned is bolster your body. Now, I can do that through a gallon of ice cream, but that's not what you're talking about.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Well, what are the small things that I could do that will add up and make a difference? And I know we've joked a bit about water and how the role of water, but when we're burned out, we tend to drink more stimulants. You know, we go for the energy drink or we drink the 10 cups of coffee a day. But look, water improves concentration, water improves mood. So, you know, if you get a little irritable, just, hey, have you had your water? Water helps with metabolism, water helps blood pressure, etc. So part of the burnout plan is start drinking your water.

[John Fuller]

Now, here's the key. And everybody, there's different formulas. How much water should a person drink per day?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Well, and there are different formulas, aren't there?

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yes. Here's what I do. I have six bottles and I have them on my desk.

[John Fuller]

And you want to be done with those two.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Goal is, if it's by 2 o' clock, I should be getting towards the end because otherwise it's not going to happen.

[John Fuller]

Okay.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Or refill my midday checkpoint six times.

[John Fuller]

On your. How many ounces is that? 80, 90 ounces, probably at least.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yeah, okay. But I do a lot better if I'm drinking the water. And one of the things that I want to look at too, is your sleep. When we're burned out, we probably are exhausted, but we're probably staying up late. We're probably into social media or we're online. How can I begin to put a boundary around that?

[John Fuller]

Yes, that's good. Oh, do you stay up late?

[Jim Daly]

Me?

[John Fuller]

I'm in bed by nine. It's kind of funny. My boys are now going, dad, come on. But nine, Nine thirty. Boop. I'm out.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Okay, that's good. That's good.

[John Fuller]

But I wake up early though, too, so 4:35, I'm starting to stir, but I'm out early. Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

All right. Well, you're doing good. And so sleep and mental health is a huge issue. The other big issue, and there's several, is what we put in our mouth. Okay. When you're burned out, oh, it's so easy. Do the bag of chips, you know, do the ice cream. You want it quick and easy.

[John Fuller]

Is that stress related, though, that we go that direction?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

You probably notice when you're irritable and you're frustrated, you love the hard and crunchy you're in. You're going through the chips. Right. If you're depressed, you like smooth and sweet. Wow.

[John Fuller]

There's a formula to this.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

I didn't realize if I'm depressed, you know, the ice cream's pretty good.

[John Fuller]

I might be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Salty, sweet, all in the same hour. There you go.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

But here's the thing. Usually when we're burned out, we're not getting adequate, A general statement, adequate protein in the morning. So have a protein, even if it's a protein drink, a yogurt. I want you to get protein in the morning, generally within one hour of waking up. I want you to fuel your brain. Okay? Yeah, we're just talking about taking some baby steps.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, that's good. And that's all on bolstering the body again. This little booklet will have all of that. Greg, let's move to get through these. Fortifying your filters, man, we take so much, we are information deluged today. I mean, so much stuff is coming at us that can create a sense of burnout or anxiety, depression, whatever it might be. How do we manage those filters? One thing my wife's doing now, which is terrific, she's just unplugged from news on purpose because she just doesn't want to carry the burden of what's happening around the world and in this nation every moment of the day.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And we don't want to carry it every moment of the day. And for some we get into the doom scrolling and we get overwhelmed and then there's always the well, what's true? Is this true? And it gets really confusing. So as I think about the filter, what are you allowing in? What are you allowing in? And in your social media feeds, do you have some positive ones? Do you have some people speaking a good word? Right. Or are you all the doom and gloom?

[John Fuller]

Yeah, start with devotions, how about that?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Start with renewing your mind. And I can tell you personally it makes a huge difference. Now I'm one, I like to know what's going on so I can easily find, fall into that.

[John Fuller]

Me too.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And I can look at politics in our state and then get all upset about it. But we've tried to be more a part of the solution versus dwelling on the negative. So your filters, just what are you allowing in? Is it primarily negative? And by that it's also people. Do you have some people in your life that are real drainers, they are just kind of sucking the life out of you every time you see them? Okay, that's a filter to be aware of.

[John Fuller]

Well, and again, we want to emphasize, we kind of hit that lightly, but getting into the word and letting the word soak into you so that your prioritization, your foundation is the right foundation so you can weather these other things.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And sometimes I know, you know me with my three by five cards, but it's pulling out and having one verse that's going to be my mental reset.

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Okay. And I'm going to say it out loud and maybe you need to take a bolster your body as well and go outside and go for that 20 minute walk and pull out that verse and say that verse out loud, but do a mental reset as well.

[John Fuller]

You know, we mentioned Jesus retreating. Speak more specifically to that, the fact that Jesus being a great example, the best example for us demonstrating that balanced lifestyle, you know, that you got to certainly have time to feast, have time to do the work, in his case, healing the sick, the maimed, the deaf, you know, and then confronting the religious zealots of the day that didn't have the right message.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Right.

[John Fuller]

But he demonstrated how to be active in all these fronts and still be healthy.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And I believe that's called self care and that's called part of it is the time for rest. We don't live in a culture that promotes rest. And with rest comes renewal, comes renewal of my spirit, renewal my body. So there's huge benefits to rest. And I know for me, because I'm easily wound Up. Okay. It's like, oh, okay. Oh, we're just resting right where I feel like I should be doing something.

[John Fuller]

Why culturally do we undervalue rest?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

So we don't have a lot of models of it. Right.

[John Fuller]

Well, and, you know, we employ, you know, 770 people here at Focus. And I don't walk through the halls going, be restful, go take a nap, it's noon. I mean, it's just not what we do in the workplace either.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Right. You know, but I have to have points of personal renewal in order to be really effective in the workplace as well.

[John Fuller]

So how do you get that rest? I mean, again, this is a simple concept, but applying it can be difficult. So we always talk about, give it a good eight to five, work hard during the day. You get eight hours of work, eight hours of family time and eight hours of sleep. Is that a good formula?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yes.

[John Fuller]

With some asterisks. Yes.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

But there's some grace points. There's seasons where I may have a deadline or I may have to do something in the evening. Okay.

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

But you won't find me doing that every evening. Okay. There's certain periods, there's certain seasons.

[John Fuller]

What if your spouse is saying to you, you say that, but that's not what I see.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Well, I think I better listen.

[John Fuller]

That'd be a good first step. But I mean, I think some couples would say that. I mean, Gene has said that to me from time to time. You know, you don't think you're working as hard as I think you actually are.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Okay.

[John Fuller]

And it just arrests your attention.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Part of being receptive to feedback is a sign of emotional health. So sometimes it's hard to hear, sometimes. I may not necessarily agree, but I do need to listen.

[John Fuller]

And spouses are typically more knowledgeable about that than we are.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

I've learned it goes a lot better if I listen to the feedback. And more times it is correct.

[John Fuller]

This is a self, self. Look here. That's good. Right toward the end here. Let's, let's make sure people hear us. How do we get these margins in our life? How do we concentrate? Do you use like a journal? Do you Write on a 3 by 5 card how I'm going to find margin today?

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

I do write. I'm old fashioned. I actually write it down.

[John Fuller]

I guess we could put it in our phones.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Whatever works for you. I'm the guy that writes it down. And I literally draw a line through things as I, as I do them. And it's hilarious. My wife, years and years ago, she Called it an ice line pad. She gave me a pad. It's sitting nearby. I put it in my. And it's a pad and I have a pen and I'm writing as things come to mind as a part of mental declutter.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, I don't do that very well. No, seriously, I'm jealous. I mean metaphorically, because I've never been really a big pad carrying person. I try to hold it all in my head and then get to the desk at 4 o' clock and try to remember everything. Be far easier to do it that way.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Well, but we all have our different ways of managing ideas. Because I'm noticing that I may get ideas and I want a place to put them down.

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Yes.

[John Fuller]

And dictating is probably another. My boys would do that on the phone. Just note, note to self. So we got to remember that this.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

Can be a part of the mental declutter. Yeah. Remember with burnout, we procrastinate. We probably have a lot of clutter in our life. It's not always papers. So look for different areas of potential clutter in your life. But burnout causes you to stop doing the good things. So what were the things that you stopped doing? I stopped exercising when I was burned out. And it showed. I stopped reading my Bible and it showed.

[John Fuller]

And it showed.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

But just look at the things that have slowly dropped by the wayside at the end here.

[John Fuller]

We're right at the last minute how the Lord sees us in that way. I mean, we're. We're vessels that he created for his purpose. And when we're not mindful of these things, we are diminishing, actually his capacity to work through us when we become incapacitated. Right. Because we can't physically do things. We can't mentally be in touch with people around us.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And I want you to have purpose and passion. We want to have purpose and passion. But unbridled passion, which is what happened to me, unbridled, led me on a journey that ended up in significant burnout. Physically, I really wasn't well. Emotionally I wasn't well. This is my confession. And so I have all the warning signs now because I know what I'm not ever going to go back to. That's good. And I see the warning signs, or my wife does and she'll say so, but I don't ever want to go back. I don't want to relearn that.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, I think that's it.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

It was the dark days.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, totally. If you're in that spot, get in touch with us get a copy of Greg Jantz's great book Beyond Regain youn Passion and Energy. I think when you read the title, you're going, yeah, I need that. And it'd be a great starting point. It's a quick read, but it's powerful and it goes through several keys that you can begin to turn that burnout around and make the corrections you need to make. And that probably from a human perspective is always so diffic to change things. But to your point, that's a lesson you don't want to go back to. And I think for those that are living in it, you want to get to where Dr. Jantz is today. And that is saying, I never want to go back there.

[Dr. Gregory Jantz]

And we won't do it perfectly, but we're going to keep growing and we're going to keep going forward and we're going to live with that passion and purpose that God has given us and we can do that without being burned out.

[John Fuller]

Amen. So get ahold of us, get a copy, send a gift of any amount and we'll send it as our way, saying thank you for being part of the ministry and helping others.

[Unknown]

Yeah, donate today when you call 800, the letter A and the word family. Or you can donate and get the details when you click on the links in the show notes. And coming up next time, understanding how your childhood experiences will impact your marriage reactivity.

You know, we think of our nervous system going into fight or flight. I had to realize, hey, like when I'm angry, like what's underneath there? And usually there's an unmet need that you can link back to childhood.

On behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us. For Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

If the fights with your spouse have become unbearable, if you feel like you can't take it anymore, there's still hope. Hope Restored Marriage Intensives have helped thousands of couples like yours. Our biblically based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face them together. Call us at 1-866-875-2915. We'll talk with you, pray with you, and help you find out which program will work best. That's 1-866-875-2915.