Podcast Summary: Reducing Drama in Your Relationships (Part 1 of 2)

Podcast: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Date: November 25, 2025
Guests: Kathy Lipp & Sherry Gregory
Episode Theme:
Navigating the holidays with less drama and overwhelm in family relationships, especially for Christian families trying to balance expectations, boundaries, and Christlike love during stressful seasons.

Overview

This episode centers on practical, biblically-inspired strategies for reducing relational drama and personal overwhelm during the holidays. Hosts Jim Daly and John Fuller, joined by authors Kathy Lipp and Sherry Gregory, discuss relatable family challenges, managing holiday expectations, setting boundaries with in-laws or extended relatives, and fostering peace, self-care, and authentic connection. Throughout, the conversation remains candid, humorous, and compassionate toward the real-world struggles families face.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Holiday Stress

• Holidays Bring Both Joy & Anxiety
  • Jim Daly opens by acknowledging the dual nature of the season: “This can be one of the most joyful times of the year, but it can also be one of the most stressful.” (01:42)
• Common Sources of Overwhelm
  • Kathy shares: “As November and December land on me…The overwhelm can get to every area, and you feel like not only am I failing, but I’m in this boat alone.” (01:02)

2. Expectations vs. Reality

• High Expectations Increase Stress
  • Sherry notes: “I think a lot of our overwhelm comes from having really high expectations. And then there’s reality.” (03:39)
• Self-care Often Neglected
  • “The other thing that happens during the holidays is I forget self care…all of that starts compounding.” —Sherry (05:18)
• Humor Around Overwhelm
  • When asked if she snaps at her husband due to stress: “Have I ever not snapped at somebody?” —Sherry (05:42)

3. Importance of Friendship & Support Networks

• Be the Friend You Need
  • Kathy says: “Instead of finding the friend’s friend, the key is to be the friend. And to be the safe person that you can say ‘I’m having this bad circumstance’ to…” (07:04)
• Don’t Compare or Hide Struggles
  • “Many people are experiencing the same kind of stress…we don’t put it on our social media page.” —Jim (06:56)

4. Normalizing Holiday Drama

• You're Not Crazy for Feeling Stressed
  • “We need to do is normalize that these holiday gatherings, getting together with the people we love, always bring some additional stress and to plan for that and say it’s okay, but to know we’re not crazy for feeling stressed out.” —Kathy (08:50)

5. Setting Ground Rules & Boundaries

• Discuss Hot Topics Beforehand
  • “There are certain topics that if we bring up…it’s not going to be good for our relationship. I have to realize nobody’s gonna help me change my mind…and I’m not gonna help change anybody else’s mind over the turkey dinner.” —Kathy (10:07)
• Practice Unified Responses
  • "Roger and I have an agreement: if that happens, we shut it down…‘We do not speak of this at this table.’” —Kathy (10:47)
• When Agreements Fail
  • Kathy gives an example (11:34): “[Someone] always…there’s that person that’s the instigator…‘I thought we had an agreement…so I’m going to excuse myself because I can’t be here for this conversation.’”

6. Practical Tips for Difficult Family Dynamics

• Schedule Alone Time & Self-Care
  • “Schedule time just for your husband to be with his family…sometimes loving them better is saying, ‘I’m gonna take some time just for myself,’ and scheduling that self care helps so much in a tough situation.” —Kathy (13:03)
  • “I also have made the ground rule of we stay in a hotel... because I just need a break.” —Kathy (13:26)
• Acknowledge What You Can Control
  • Jim: “Work on yourself; you’re a person you can control. Right. You can’t change other people’s perspectives and all that.”
• Intentional Planning & Communication
  • Decisions "aren’t being made the day before Thanksgiving. These decisions are being made a month or two or three in advance so that there’s time to execute.” —Sherry (15:06)
• Safe Conversation Topics
  • “I need to quit choosing vulnerable things and I need to start talking about the weather. I need to have a list ahead of time of very safe topics.” —Sherry (16:17)

7. Guilt & Shame Around Boundaries

• “I Get to Participate in Making the Rules”
  • “Every family comes up with their own set of rules and I get to participate in making the rules for our family. These are not things that are handed down to me. I’m a grown woman…” —Kathy (17:24)
• Protecting Children from Judgment
  • “Sometimes our kids need to be protected from other people in the family…” —Kathy (17:40)
• Limit Obligations for the Sake of Peace
  • “Biblically…we need to love as far we are able, as far as we are able to do it...as far as it is up to me, I need to be at peace with everybody.” —Kathy (18:43)

8. Changing Family Patterns

• It’s Okay to Do Things Differently
  • “I had a belief that since I’d always done it a certain way, we just had to keep doing it that way, like we couldn’t change.” —Sherry (19:32)
• Plan for Differences, Respect Preferences
  • On staying with relatives vs. a hotel: “I don’t believe that’s biblical…that’s something we get to choose.” —Sherry (20:13)
  • “When you’re telling mother in law the night before we’re staying in a hotel, that’s wrong, because I feel like that’s disrespectful to her expectations. But when we say…‘we’re going to need to do things a little differently, whatever,’ that gives people time to adjust.” —Kathy (20:32)

9. How Faith Informs Healthy Boundaries

• Prioritize Peace and Christlike Love
  • “Our chief concern is to be at peace with everybody as far as we are able…not about fighting for our rights necessarily.” —Kathy (21:58)
  • “For me, Christianity is about God’s love. And it doesn’t stop just with other Christians. It is God’s love transforming the world.” —Kathy (22:40)

10. Special Challenges in Blended Families

• Flexibility with Traditions
  • “When it comes to blended families…I feel like you have…three things: you can celebrate on the day, you can have everybody there, you can have people be happy about it. Pick two out of three.” —Kathy (23:28)
  • “We do not celebrate on Christmas…We have a child who’s married…We want to be the home that it’s easy to land in, that it’s comfortable…It doesn’t have to happen on the day.” —Kathy (24:02)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Expectations During Holidays:
  “I gotta cook perfectly, I gotta prepare perfectly, I’ve gotta host perfectly. I’m already feeling people going, no, stop talking about it.”
  —Jim Daly (04:28)

• On Self-Blame and Overwhelm:
  “It’s not that we’re overwhelmed because we’re stupid, we’re feeling stupid because we’re overwhelmed.”
  —Sherry Gregory (07:48)

• On Making Family Rules as an Adult:
  “These are not things that are handed down to me. I’m a grown woman and I get to participate in what’s going to be best, not just for me, but for my husband and for my kids as well.”
  —Kathy Lipp (17:24)

• On Peace as a Spiritual Priority:
  “…as far as it is up to me. I need to be at peace with everybody.”
  —Kathy Lipp (18:43)

• On Blended Family Flexibility:
  “There are three things you can celebrate on the day. You can have everybody there. You can have people be happy about it. Pick two out of three.”
  —Kathy Lipp (23:28)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:02] Stresses and loneliness of holiday responsibilities (Kathy Lipp)
• [03:39] Dealing with high expectations (Sherry Gregory)
• [05:18] Neglect of self-care during holidays (Sherry Gregory)
• [07:04] How to become the friend you wish you had (Kathy Lipp)
• [10:07] Setting conversational ground rules for family gatherings (Kathy Lipp)
• [11:34] Real-life boundary enforcement example (Kathy Lipp)
• [13:03] Scheduling self/team care and strategic alone time (Kathy Lipp)
• [16:17] Navigating vulnerability with unsafe relatives (Sherry Gregory)
• [17:24] Creating new family rules without guilt (Kathy Lipp)
• [19:32] Permission to change entrenched traditions (Sherry Gregory)
• [21:58] God’s perspective: striving for peace over rights (Kathy Lipp)
• [23:28] Navigating blended family holidays: flexibility and low pressure (Kathy Lipp)

Tone and Style Reflections

• Friendly, self-deprecating humor
• Honest and empathetic about family struggles
• Rooted in Christian values with practical wisdom

Next Episode Preview

The conversation continues in Part 2, addressing even deeper or more complicated family matters around the holiday season.