Podcast Summary: Simple Ways to Show Your Child Love

Podcast: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Episode Air Date: February 3, 2026
Guests: Matt & Lisa Jacobson
Books Referenced: 100 Ways to Love Your Daughter and 100 Ways to Love Your Son

Episode Overview

This episode centers on practical and heartfelt ways for parents to show intentional love and affirmation to their children—both sons and daughters—drawing on biblical wisdom and the real-life experiences of Matt and Lisa Jacobson, parents of eight. Jim Daly and John Fuller facilitate a warm, encouraging discussion about love, “liking” your children, quality vs. quantity time, and how to navigate the unique challenges of raising both boys and girls, including the impact of special circumstances.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Intentional Love

• Matt and Lisa Jacobson open with their personal routines for showing affection to their children—even as adults—through hugs, messages, and invitations to connect ([00:17-00:49]).
  • Matt: “If they don't come over to me to give me a hug, I will always go find them and give them a big daddy hug and a big daddy kiss on the head.” ([00:20])
  • Lisa: “Love looks very much like time. They enjoy time with me together individually.” ([00:29])
• Jim Daly stresses the foundational goal: “How do my kids leave the household knowing they were loved—and liked?” ([01:00])

2. Quantity vs. Quality Time

• Matt highlights the critical need to prioritize marital time to set a positive example for children ([04:30-05:24]).
  • Matt: “One of the most important quality times... is to guard the time that you and your wife have every week alone... Kids have the capacity to suck up 100% of all your time...”
• Lisa describes her mental scheduling for one-on-one engagement: she kept track of who needed extra time but didn’t communicate it as a formal “schedule” to the kids ([05:38-06:32]).
• Both agree it’s vital for each child to feel truly noticed and prioritized, not just squeezed into a parent’s busy agenda.

3. When Life Disrupts Family Balance

• Both Jacobsons discuss how particular family crises, such as a child’s serious illness, can unintentionally cause another child to feel overlooked ([07:11-08:12]).
  • Matt recalls how the illness of one daughter absorbed attention away from a sibling: “For two years, we were fighting for her life… all of our time, energy, and attention was just absorbed with this traumatic circumstance.”
• Jim and Matt reflect that even with healthy children, some kids can “fly under the radar” and this recognition should lead to intentional course-correction ([08:12]).

4. Loving vs. Liking Your Children

• Jim introduces the nuanced question: “You can love your kids, but do you like your kids?” ([09:01])
• Matt explains the importance of understanding a child’s push for independence is normal, and not personally rejecting: “It feels so personal, but it’s not personal…” ([10:02])
• Lisa says: Intentionally express what you like about your child, especially in tough or awkward phases. Tell them specifically what you appreciate—beyond love ([11:19-12:19]).
  • Lisa: “Not just saying, I love you, but ‘I really like that about you, I see that in you.’ And they really need to hear it. In those 15 years especially, you know.”

5. The Power of Parental Messaging

• Matt: “The world is busy messaging to your children. And it's really, really important for a parent to recognize what a powerful role you have, what an incredible opportunity you have to speak into the life on a regular basis of your son or your daughter, who you are, why you’re wonderful, what we like about you, what kind of person you are. Messaging is so, so powerful.” ([12:32-13:44])

6. Giving Boys Space for Adventure and Affirmation

• Matt urges parents not to be overly uptight, but to let boys (and girls) explore and have small adventures—even if things get a little wild ([14:07-15:44]).
  • Lisa realized, “the more yeses I gave them, the more they were inclined to come to me and talk to me or run things by me.” ([15:44])
• Lisa acknowledges that trusting Matt’s judgment helped her let go and allow risk, even if it caused her worry ([16:52-17:21]).

7. Affirmation from Fathers to Sons

• Matt: “Every kid wants to know that he can... climb the mountain... And when you believe in the moments that a kid can’t believe for themselves or don't necessarily believe for themselves, you provide that positive context for going and doing it.” ([18:01])
• Jim shares a personal moment of his son’s first, fearful rappelling experience and the empowering moment that followed ([19:22-20:54]): “You became a man in 200ft. Well, maybe 195…”

8. Messaging and Beauty for Girls

• John and Lisa discuss the particular need for affirmation of daughters’ inner and outer beauty, especially in a world full of negative messaging from social media ([20:55-22:26]).
  • Lisa: “We want our daughters to feel lovely, but we want it to be also not skin deep... It took a ton of messaging specifically, and spending time with them and pointing out what’s lovely about them.”

9. Physical Affection and Boundaries as Daughters Mature

• Matt reflects on remaining affectionate with his daughters as they grew—while respecting evolving boundaries ([23:11-25:38]).
  • “There was definitely a time where my daughters got a little awkward about the hugs... But if you don’t grasp at it, you’ll find in later years she’ll want to hug her dad.” ([24:46-25:05])
• Jim comments poignantly on what his wife missed from her own dad: “It was just that affection... that you notice me, that you care for me.” ([25:02])

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On making time for your spouse:
  Matt Jacobson: “One of the most important quality times that you can bring to your family is to guard the time that you and your wife have every week alone.” ([04:30])
• On being intentional with all your children:
  Lisa Jacobson: “I really wanted to communicate that I have time for you and never that you’re squeezed into my schedule, even if that’s what it looks like on the ground.” ([06:10])
• On “liking” your kids:
  Jim Daly: “You can love your kids, but do you like your kids? What a great target to aim at.” ([01:00])
• On affirmation:
  Lisa Jacobson: “Not just saying, I love you, but I really like that about you, I see that in you. And they really need to hear it.” ([11:55])
• On the need for ongoing positive messaging:
  Matt Jacobson: “The world is busy messaging to your children. And it’s really, really important for a parent to recognize what a powerful role you have...” ([13:00])
• On letting boys push limits safely:
  Lisa Jacobson: “Our boys needed room and space to grow and make mistakes and fall and get hurt. And I just had to come to terms with that and even embrace it.” ([15:44])
• On fatherly affirmation:
  Matt Jacobson: “When you believe in the moments that a kid can’t believe for themselves or don’t necessarily believe for themselves, you provide that positive context for going and doing it.” ([18:01])
• On physical affection for daughters:
  Matt Jacobson: “If you don't grasp at it, you’ll find in later years she’ll want to hug her dad.” ([25:05])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Personal routines for showing love – [00:17-00:49]
• Quantity vs. quality time in parenting – [04:14-06:32]
• Handling family crisis and overlooked children – [07:11-08:46]
• The importance of liking your child – [09:01-11:19]
• Affirming sons through adventure – [14:07-18:44]
• Affirming daughters’ beauty, dealing with social pressures – [20:55-22:26]
• Physical affection and boundaries as daughters mature – [23:11-25:38]

Final Thoughts

The episode is rich with real-life stories, candid admissions, and encouragement to parents that loving your children is more than just a feeling—it’s an ongoing, intentional set of behaviors, words, and rituals that communicate not only love but liking. The Jacobsons' advice is practical, compassionate, and directly applicable, helping parents consider new ways to connect, affirm, and let their children grow into their unique selves.

Hosts remind listeners: The simple things—hugs, words of affirmation, shared adventures, and non-judgmental presence—remain foundational to helping children feel secure and cherished.

To learn more or to get the Jacobsons’ books, see the Focus on the Family website or the show notes linked in the episode.