Podcast Summary:

Podcast: followHIM
Episode: Elder Holland's Dream • followHIM Favorites • September 1-7 • Come Follow Me
Hosts: Hank Smith & John Bytheway
Date: August 28, 2025
Passages Covered: Doctrine and Covenants 94–97 (focus on 95:1)

Episode Overview

This followHIM Favorites mini-episode explores the theme of divine chastening and loving correction, illustrated through a deeply personal story shared by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. Drawing on Doctrine and Covenants 95:1—where the Lord emphasizes that those He loves He also chastens—the hosts discuss feelings of parental inadequacy, the importance of repentance within families, and how vulnerability can lead to deeper learning and forgiveness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Loving Chastening (00:02)

• Context: The episode opens with Hank Smith quoting D&C 95:1 and reflecting on the concept of “divine discontent”—the idea that feelings of being chastened by the Lord are meant to inspire improvement, not shame.
  • “I don't know if you've ever been chastened by the Lord. A little divine discontent where you know you can do better than this.” (A, 00:18)
  • “It's never shameful, it's never, you're the worst. It's hey, you can do better.” (A, 00:40)

2. Elder Holland’s Story of Parental Regret (00:44–07:38)

The Setting (00:44)

• Elder Holland and his wife are young, overwhelmed parents during his grad school years, juggling education, church responsibilities, and family with little money or time.

The Incident (01:00–02:25)

• Elder Holland comes home exhausted and is told by his wife, Pat, that their son, Matt, has something to confess.
  • Matt admits, with tear-filled eyes, that he didn’t listen to his mother and spoke back to her.
  • “He stopped playing but for a moment didn't look up. Then two enormous tear filled brown eyes turned towards me and with the pain only a five year old can know, he said, 'I didn't listen to Mommy tonight and I spoke back to her.' He burst into tears. His entire little body shook with grief.” (A quoting Elder Holland, 01:20)

Parental Overreaction (02:30–03:15)

• Elder Holland, burdened by stress, reacts harshly—telling Matt he’s disappointed and sending him to bed without prayers or a story for the first time ever.
  • “He got everything, he calls it, the whole load of bricks. ...I told him that I would not be in to say his prayers with him or tell him a bedtime story. Muffling his sobs, he obediently went to his bedside where he knelt alone to say his prayers. Then he stained his little pillow with tears his father should have been wiping away.” (A & Elder Holland, 02:55)

The Dream (03:16–06:25)

• That night, Elder Holland dreams that he asks 5-year-old Matt to drive a car alone for an upcoming move. Matt tries but can’t manage, and as Elder Holland drives away, Matt cries, “daddy, don't leave me. I don't know how to do it. I'm too little.”
  • “As I pulled away, he cried out, 'Daddy, don't leave me. I don't know how to do it. I'm too little.' And I drove away.” (Elder Holland as quoted by A, 04:35)
• Realizing his grave mistake, Elder Holland runs back, finds Matt safe with another man, but is confronted:
  • “You should not have left him alone to do this difficult thing. It would not have been asked of you.” (Elder Holland’s dream, 06:19)

The Resolution (06:29–07:30)

• Waking in tears, Elder Holland rushes to his son’s bedside, and through tears, cradles sleeping Matt, apologizes, and expresses love and a resolve never to withhold love or forgiveness again.
  • “I told him that I loved him and his mother and his sister more than anything in the world and that whatever challenges we had in life, we would face them together. I told him that never again would I withhold my affection or my forgiveness for him, and never, I prayed, would he withhold them for me.” (Elder Holland as quoted by A, 07:05)

3. Reflection & Application (07:38–08:20)

• John Bytheway: Praises Elder Holland’s vulnerability and willingness to share personal failings publicly.
  • “Yeah. And like you said, Hank, Elder Holland's willingness to be vulnerable and tell us about a time when he messed up.” (B, 07:38)
• Importance of Repenting to Kids:
  • Hank observes that John often talks about apologizing to one’s children: “John, you've taught me to repent to my kids. You've said that multiple times.” (A, 07:47)
• Forgiveness and Growth: The hosts note that Matt Holland—once that little boy—is now “Elder Matt Holland of the Quorum of the Seventy.”
• The Lord’s Chastening as Loving Correction:
  • “I think the Lord here is saying, yes, this is going to sting a little bit, but it's not because I don't love you. ...I chasten you so your sins can be forgiven. I want to get you out of this. This is what it's going to take.” (A, 08:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Divine Discontent:
  • “It's never shameful, it's never, you're the worst. It's hey, you can do better.” (Hank Smith, 00:40)
• Elder Holland’s Regret:
  • “He stained his little pillow with tears his father should have been wiping away.” (Elder Holland as quoted by Hank, 03:10)
• The Dream’s Lesson:
  • “You should not have left him alone to do this difficult thing. It would not have been asked of you.” (Elder Holland as quoted by Hank, 06:19)
• A Father’s Promise:
  • “I told him that never again would I withhold my affection or my forgiveness for him, and never, I prayed, would he withhold them for me.” (Elder Holland as quoted by Hank, 07:18)
• On Repenting to Children:
  • “John, you've taught me to repent to my kids. You've said that multiple times.” (Hank, 07:47)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:02 – Opening and context for the week's Come, Follow Me section
• 00:44 – Beginning of Elder Holland’s story
• 01:20 – Matt’s confession and the emotional scene
• 02:30 – Elder Holland’s disciplinary action
• 03:16 – Describing the dream
• 06:19 – The lesson in the dream (“You should not have left him alone…”)
• 06:29 – Elder Holland’s emotional reconciliation with his son
• 07:38 – Reflection on vulnerability and repentance in parenting
• 08:00 – Application: the purpose of loving chastening

Tone and Language

• The episode is heartfelt, reflective, and humble. Both hosts and Elder Holland (via quotation) demonstrate vulnerability, honesty, and a focus on repentance and growth within the family.

Conclusion

This “followHIM Favorites” episode uses Elder Holland’s personal experience to illustrate how God’s loving correction is designed to bless and elevate us, not to induce shame. The story encourages listeners to embrace humility, actively seek reconciliation in their relationships, and apply the gospel principle of forgiving and seeking forgiveness within families. The episode is both moving and practical, providing listeners with a memorable object lesson tying scriptural principles to real-life parenting moments.