Arsenal’s statement win and Spurs climb out of the drop zone – Football Weekly podcast

Summary

Football Weekly – Arsenal’s Statement Win, Spurs’ Revival & Premier League Drama

Date: May 4, 2026
Host: Max Rushden
Panel: Jonathan Wilson, Barney Ronay, Barry Glendenning

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Football Weekly digs into a pivotal weekend in the Premier League, spotlighting Arsenal’s emphatic win over Fulham which brings them tantalizingly close to a first league title in two decades, Tottenham’s overdue resurgence out of the drop zone under Roberto De Zerbi, Manchester United’s Champions League clincher, the race to avoid relegation, European qualification hopefuls—and a lively, irreverent take on everything from VAR farce to hair-pulling red cards.

The panel’s signature blend of informed football chat and banter runs throughout, with classic digressions and analogies (tea, anyone?). They also offer quick-hit EFL and WSL updates, discuss managerial futures, and share listener missives on the wonders and woes of lower-league football.

---

Arsenal: Statement Victory Sets Up Title Race Finale

Discussion starts: [01:45]
Arsenal 3–0 Fulham

• Performance & Title Implications:

  • Barney Ronay: Arsenal’s victory was “a performance they needed” as they edge closer to the title. The focus is now on goal difference, as both Arsenal and City’s run-ins could come down to goals scored.

    “They were briefly behind by not bottling it… and by being the kind of goal-scoring force of the division.” [03:06]

  • The significance of Bukayo Saka’s return to form and how “locally reared” players like Miles Lewis-Skelly fuel the team’s energy and crowd optimism.

• Opposition & Game Dynamics:

  • Fulham’s defensive choices leave the panel perplexed—“Who is Fulham’s left back that Saka’s just done? Oh, it’s Raul Jimenez.” [05:29]
  • The importance of early goals:

    “Champions are meant to have these games where they score two or three goals early on and then there is no pressure.” – Jonathan Wilson [06:13]

• Run-In Calculations:

  • Arsenal’s remaining fixtures: West Ham (A), Burnley (H), Palace (A). City’s tougher final stretch could lead to dropped points.

    “I can see them piling on a big score against Burnley at home… I can certainly see City dropping points. I can’t see Arsenal dropping points.” – Barry Glendenning [08:14]

• Yokarez’s Impact:

  • Victor Yokarez’s 14 Premier League goals “seems to be the key” to Arsenal’s late surge.

    “…quite good at smashing the ball in the net against the kind of teams he was bought to smash the ball in the net against.” – Barney Ronay [09:05]

• Content Creation Culture:

  • Wry take on modern football fandom:

    “We’re all content creators now…everyone watching this is faced with rewrite fear: ‘What’s my take gonna be?’” – Barney Ronay [10:39]

• Predictions:

  • Wilson & Barry: Arsenal to win the title.
  • Barney: “Either Arsenal or Man City, it will come down to… a thrashing somewhere and it’ll be on goals scored. That will be the founding irony of the title race.” [11:08]

• VAR, Laws, and Irony:

  • Nod to the Haaland goal ruled out at Anfield possibly swinging the title.

    “Completely the correct decision in law. And I despise the weak minded people who can't see that.” – Jonathan Wilson [11:34]

---

Manchester United & Liverpool: Champions League Secured in a Shambolic Classic

Discussion starts: [12:31]
Manchester United 3–2 Liverpool

• Carrick’s Effect:

  • Carrick’s “easy mode” run: United fresher than every opponent due to cup exits.

    “He really is playing on easy mode and he’s done quite well. But is it good enough?” – Jonathan Wilson [13:56]

  • Tricky decision ahead for United: keep Carrick and risk inexperience or make a change and anger those who believe in “United DNA.”

• Liverpool & Arne Slot:

  • Liverpool’s form likened to a cup of tea—“too hot, then too cold.”

    “Last season…just the right temperature…now they’re too cold. They’re a too-cold cup of tea.” – Barney Ronay [16:20]

  • Concerns with Slot: repeats tactical complaints about low blocks; Saboszlai’s candid post-match admission (“I am a leader”) flagged as a sign of dressing room issues. [19:48]

• Tactical & Emotional Fallout:

  • Liverpool “gifted” goals, lack of control, and questions over big-money summer signings.

    “…there are really profound connections in the team that don't work and things that should work that don't work.” – Barney Ronay [21:58]

  • Both managers tipped to be “gone by Christmas” unless major changes occur.

---

Tottenham’s Revival, Villa’s Dilemma, and the Relegation Battle

Section starts: [27:49]
Aston Villa 1–2 Spurs

• Spurs Impress Under De Zerbi:

  • First time in months Spurs “looked organized” and pressed with intent.

    “You can even see some of this baiting the press there… reasons for Spurs to be optimistic for the first time in months.” – Jonathan Wilson [28:27]

• Villa’s Europa Priorities:

  • Villa “dreadful” and “disgracefully awful”—but perhaps deliberately conserving for their European semi-final.

    “Not for a second suggesting they threw the game…but Villa’s motivations were not there and that really showed.” – Wilson [29:41]

  • Panel jokes about Unai Emery’s “Richard Gere look,” equal parts “fury and seduction.” [30:46]

• Spurs Tactics & Mentality:

  • Spurs’ performative celebrations (esp. tackles) discussed—does it help morale, or just annoy? [33:28]
  • Paeans to the “bait and quick press” system quickly instilled by De Zerbi, especially in midfield. [30:46]

---

Relegation Six-Pointer, Euro Race, and Champions League Hopes

Brentford 2–1 West Ham

• Brentford’s victory puts West Ham in the drop zone; unlucky but not good enough. Wayne Rooney’s critique noted.

  “West Ham also aren’t very good…their base level is not that great and it’s also not a particularly well-run club.” – Barney Ronay [37:30]

The Run-In:

• West Ham’s fixtures: Arsenal (H), Newcastle (A), Leeds (H).
• Spurs, Forest, and Leeds updates—relegation and European spots to be decided in an unusually bunched table.

Brentford/Bournemouth & Champions League Dream:

• Brentford and Bournemouth’s outside hopes for Champions League football if Villa win the Europa League.

  “It would be an unbelievable achievement for either of them.” – Barry Glendenning [39:50]

• Integrity of the league: panel agrees these “sergeant major” sides ensure the Premier League’s bottom half remains strong and unpredictable. [37:30]

---

VAR, Hair-Pulling & Rulebook Absurdities

Starts: [40:55]

• Ongoing VAR confusion—lack of consistency, escalation of frustration for fans and pundits alike. [41:11]
• Strictness of hair-pulling red cards lampooned:

  “If I were playing in the Premier League now, I would grow an incredibly provocative rat's tail that nobody could resist grabbing…” – Barney Ronay [41:57]

• Ideas floated: swimming hats, bakery hair nets, or baby-oil slicked bonnets to prevent hair-pulling incidents. [42:46]

---

EFL, League One, League Two and Listener Letters

EFL Roundup: [47:48 – 54:00]

• Ipswich & Millwall promoted. Playoff match-ups highlighted; Barney shares tales from South London and hints at new video plans.
• Richie Wellens’ “wasted life” post-match rant at Orient:

  “I've wasted a year of my life managing this team and they've wasted a year of their lives too.” [52:17]

• Leighton Orient survive, Exeter go down. Billy Sharp records hat-tricks in each decade of his pro career.

League Two and Below:

• Cambridge promoted after a tense draw and missed penalty, to the delight of Max Rushden.
• Harrogate & Barrow relegated. Local football shoutouts: Grantham Town finally promoted after a “five-hour” round trip (debunked mid-pod), prompting Wilson’s geography pedantry. [56:15]

Listener Letters: [56:47 – end]

• Football Weekly as a sleep aid! One fan credits the pod with helping him nap, but warns against listening while undertaking long Texas road trips.

  “Could there be something here? Guardian Sleep Sounds Weekly featuring Wilson reading from his book…” – Listener Nathan [57:09]

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Barney Ronay (banter & content era):

  “We were all living in a bantersphere now which has glitches… but you could end up with a situation where Arsenal win the league because they’ve scored more goals…which is an interesting turn of events and something probably most people weren’t expecting.” [03:06]

• Jonathan Wilson (VAR stickler):

  “Completely the correct decision in law. And I despise the weak minded people who can't see that.” [11:34]

• Barry Glendenning (on West Ham’s luck):

  “As we have established on this podcast, hitting the woodwork, it’s not even a shot on target. So don’t hit the woodwork…” [35:05]

• Barney Ronay (analogy king):

  “Liverpool…they’re a too-cold cup of tea.” [16:20]

• Listener Jonathan (EFL Playoff Passion):

  “We finally broke our playoff curse. I’ve been walking on air ever since, despite it being the most excruciating 90 minutes imaginable…” [53:24]

---

Key Timestamps

• [01:45] – Arsenal’s statement win over Fulham and title race analysis
• [12:31] – Manchester United v Liverpool, Carrick debate, Slot’s future
• [27:49] – Spurs climb out of the drop zone, Villa’s approach and fallout
• [35:05] – Brentford v West Ham and relegation permutations
• [40:55] – VAR, hair-pulling red cards, and football’s rulebook humor
• [47:48] – EFL/WSL round-up, stories from around the English leagues
• [56:47] – Listener letters (travel gripes, Football Weekly as sleep aid)
• [60:02] – Closing punchline: “...I also feel incredibly betrayed and I’ve wasted quite a lot of the last 57 minutes…” – Barney Ronay

---

Tone & Style

This episode epitomizes Football Weekly’s vibe: spirited analysis, rapid-fire debate, irreverent wit, and plenty of inside jokes—always keeping the football central but gleefully embracing the banter and absurdity that make the beautiful game (and its coverage) unique.

---

Summary by Football Weekly Podcast Summarizer – May 2026

Transcript

[Barney Ronay]

This is the Guardian.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Parle tu francais?

[Max Rushden]

Hablas espanol par Liano?

[Babbel Advertiser]

If you've used Babbel, you would Babbel's conversation based technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babbel is like having a private tutor in your podcast Pocket. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription right now at babbel.com acast spelled B-A B-B-E-L.com acast rules and restrictions may apply.

[Progressive Insurance Advertiser]

You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote Discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings by $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary.

[Max Rushden]

Hello and welcome to the Guardian Football Weekly. And who wasn' standing by their transistor radio waiting for the Crawley Salford result? Well, most of you having been scandalously overruled from leading with Cambridge United's promotion, we'll begin with the leaders Arsenal and the Premier League in what some in the game are calling a statement. Victory over Fulham. No nerves here. They were excellent. Manchester United confirmed Champions League football with a 32 win over Liverpool. We'll ask Mr. Buzzkill Jonathan Wilson if this was a good game. What does that result do for the Carrick slot next season? Management seesaw at the bottom spurs press pass the ball to each other. Scott score goals Extraordinary. Villa were not good. Was it in their interest to keep Forest looking over their shoulder ahead of the Europa second leg? West Ham are now in the drop zone after losing to Brentford. Newcastle needed a win and got it. Bournemouth go into the could be a Champions League play. Sixth spot and there's some hair pulling in Wolverhampton. We'll round up the EFL ips, switch up Hull sneak into the playoffs Wednesday, reach the magical zero point mark. Stevenage just make the playoffs. Orient stay up. Exeter go down the user promoted Bauer and Harrogate into the conference. All that plus your questions. And that's today's Guardian Football the panel today. Jonathan Wilson. Welcome.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Morning. How you doing?

[Max Rushden]

I'm very well. Hello Barney, Ronnie.

[Barney Ronay]

Hi Max. Hi everyone.

[Max Rushden]

And good morning, Barry. Glenn Denning.

[Barry Glendenning]

Good morning.

[Max Rushden]

Yes. Jamie says. Did you have a nice weekend, Max? Yes. Cambridge promoted spurs out of the bottom of three. Melbourne Bohemian, second win of the season. I love football but let's start the Emirates. Arsenal 3 Fulham nil. And Barney, this couldn't have gone any better for Arsenal really, could it? This was, this was a performance that they needed. And now the Premier League title is sort of tantalizingly close.

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, that's true. It is suddenly close, isn't it? Something occurred to me watching this that after all the kind of narrative of the season, it has been a season of narrative. It's been bantersphere. We were all living in a, in a, in a bantersphere now which has glitches and, and, but the banter sphere is plugged into the back of our heads while we exist in pods obviously. But you could end up with a situation where Arsenal win the league because they've scored more goals. Win the league by chasing down the six time champion manager from behind. They're now heroically chasing. Well, they were briefly behind by not bottling it and by being the kind of goal scoring force of the division which is an interesting turn of events and something probably most people weren't expecting. They've got three games to go. A five nil win somewhere basically could win, win the league. I mean obviously both teams between them, they have eight games and I feel like the next two are going to be pretty important. It's Everton tonight for City which may or may not have already happened, but and Arsenal are playing West Ham at the weekend. Get through those two and you kind of feel like all they need to do is thrash one of palace or Burnley and they're going to do it on goals scored. Which may have been the kind of two fingers to everyone that the season was teeing up us all along because there's always been some element of irony here that's waiting to break. I thought it was important game because obviously because Bukay Saka was back and looked a bit fresh and Fulham forgot to double team him. So he was able to show that he can actually dribble. I think it was really important. I think he got really, really tired in mid season, mentally tired. Watching him was a bit like watching a glitch in a computer game where he basically did the same run time and time again. You knew exactly what was going to happen and so did the opposition. But here he was. I mean, he went around the sound on the outside of Raul Jimenez and it's being kind of portrayed as though he. It was Diego Baradotta at the Azteca Stadium. But it's really important for Arsenal and it was important that Miles Lewis Skelly played well in midfield because I do really think there's something about those players and about the feeling it gives to the team of these kind of locally reared players coming in and doing well and having the energy and the will to do it and making the crowd feel good. And for the first time, I think they do feel close now. And tonight's really key.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, I mean, it is worth pointing out, I think like me and Barry were both like, who is Fulham's left back that Saka's just done? Oh, that's Ral Jimenez.

[Barney Ronay]

What's he.

[Max Rushden]

What's he doing there? That seems like poor planning on. On Fulham's part. Nevertheless, they were good and. And it. Wilson, they weren't. The nerves weren't there and I, I just wonder if it's just as obvious as if your team scores early and you're winning, you don't get nervous and if they don't, you do get nervous. And actually the Arsenal crowd is sort of a bit like any crowd at any football match when the team has something to play for.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Yeah, I mean, I. They won it very, very easily. But it's quite easy to win it easily when you score three goals before halftime. When was the first goal? Ten minutes or so. Just. Or even before that?

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, yeah, nice minute.

[Jonathan Wilson]

But they did do that, so that's fine. That's what you're meant to do. Champions are meant to have these games where they score two or three goals early on and then there is no pressure. And one of the things I think that's been debilitating for Arsenal over the last three seasons is that they haven't had enough of those games. A lot of games they've. They've really had to dig in and there's been a sort of sense of exhaustion, you know, even when they've won games. But this sort of emotional outpouring. I think that's particularly true in 22, 23, when if you think they had those late wins against Bournemouth, against United, against Villa, all sort of just after halfway through the season, those games took on the sense of this is a vital game in the run in when they still had sort of A dozen games to play. Well, this is the run in and they've done it really easily. And the pressure now really is on City because they're six points behind with two games in hand and they can't slip up on those games. And you also looking at Arsenal's fixtures, West Ham is massive as Barney says. But a Bernie going to put up much of a fight A Palace going to put up much of a fight when they've potentially got the Conference League final coming up. So I think next weekend really does look crucial. And City will have played twice by the time Arsenal play next, I think. Is that why they got Brentford on Saturday? So it could be Arsenal going to that West Ham game already with an actual point advantage, not a sort of an adventure. Could potentially be clawed back just by City playing games. And if, if then they've got, yeah, they go into that game with the two point adventure. They could make that five points by beating West Ham with two. What looked pretty easy end of season games to come then yeah, they're in a really, really strong position.

[Max Rushden]

City baz have Everton away, Brentford at home, palace at home, Bournemouth away, Villa at home compared to Arsenal's. West Ham away, Burnley at home, palace away. I mean there is a, there is a, there's a real case to say that both teams will win all their games, but obviously it's harder to win five games than three games.

[Barry Glendenning]

I can't see Arsenal dropping another point. I can see them piling on a big score against Burnley at home that you couldn't ask for a nicer final home game I think. And I think City's running well. It's obviously more difficult because it's got two extra games, but they've got stiffer opposition as well in Everton, Brentford, Bournemouth and well, Villa may not be too interested in the final game, but I, I can certainly see City dropping points. I can't see Arsenal dropping points. I mean Arsenal not beating Burnley at home would be the most Arsenal thing, but I just can't see that happening at all.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, Martin says. Has Jocores been a success, Barney?

[Barney Ronay]

Well that's another interesting thing that we didn't expect to happen, isn't there? Arsenal powering ahead by scoring more goals than free flowing Manchester City. Arsenal were the chasers now fearlessly surging on. And also the goal scoring of Victor Yokarez seems to be the key. He's got 14 Premier League goals now, which is kind of decent. I'm not going to pretend that he's looked like a, a really all round Kind of efficient Premier League attacker, but he's quite good at smashing the ball in the net against the kind of teams he was bought to smash the ball in the net against. He hasn't given up as well. He hasn't been discouraged. He has shown, I think, like, mental strength to be coming on stronger at the end of the season when he's found it quite difficult on that thing of games being exhausting for Arsenal's fans and to watch. It's kind of fun in a way. As a football journalist, this is like football journalist revenge in many ways, because like everybody, everybody's experience of watching football now is to kind of be a content creator because everybody has a view, everybody's involved in the banter sphere. Everybody has to have a take. And so when you're watching your team struggling and feeling, oh, no, oh, no, this is going to go really badly and I'm going to have to deal with a billion Arsenal facing Twitter accounts mocking me and lots of memes and clips of people on the Internet gloating. That's how it feels when you have to do a rewrite and when you don't know what this. When there aren't early goals and you're terrified of, like, God, what, I'm gonna have to rewrote this whole thing. Everybody is fa, every Arsenal fan, everybody watching this is faced with rewrite fear. What's my take gonna be? How's the content gonna work?

[Max Rushden]

Fans are going to games, going, oh, God, I've got a five o' clock deadline. I can't bear this.

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, I have to file my. I have to file my tweet, my take, my feeling, my banter response on 90 minutes and I don't know what the scores, what the result's gonna be until 87 minutes. Like, welcome to my world. So, yes, early goals do make that much easier. And we're all content creators now.

[Max Rushden]

Who's going to win the title, Wilson?

[Jonathan Wilson]

Arsenal.

[Max Rushden]

Okay, Baz.

[Barry Glendenning]

Arsenal.

[Max Rushden]

Barney.

[Barney Ronay]

Either Arsenal or Man City, it will come down to you. I think there'll be it. I think there'll be a thrashing summer and it'll be on goals scored. And that will be the founding irony of the title race.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Well, and there is still the beautiful possibility that City don't win the title because of the Haaland goal that was ruled out at Anfield.

[Max Rushden]

Yes. Which we all were a bit sad that it. Well, no, you weren't. Of course you weren't stickler Wilson.

[Jonathan Wilson]

No, no, I wasn't. I thought that was. That was a Completely the correct decision in law. And I despise the weak minded people who can't see that.

[Barney Ronay]

And law is the right word. They are laws. They are fixed. They are formed by a judiciary and we must respect them. They're not just rules made about us and blokes.

[Jonathan Wilson]

I mean, if you look at the document itself, Barney, it says laws of the game.

[Max Rushden]

Laws.

[Barney Ronay]

If it says laws, it must be laws. And a lot of these people are kind of ex policemen and stuff, so they know the. And they're not people who are just busybodying around having laws.

[Barry Glendenning]

Judge Dredd from 2000 AD was the law.

[Barney Ronay]

He was the Law. Exactly.

[Max Rushden]

And is he the head of the PGMOL now? Is it Judge Dredd?

[Jonathan Wilson]

No, but who is? It's Howard Webb, former policeman, qed.

[Barney Ronay]

And nobody ever saw Judge Dredd without his helmet on. So who are you to say that Howard Webb is not Judge Dredd?

[Jonathan Wilson]

He had a pronounced South Yorkshire accent, didn't he? Famously. Judge Dredd.

[Barney Ronay]

Howard Webb is an anagram of Judge Dredd. Did you.

[Max Rushden]

Do you remember that bit in Judge Dredd when he went after review and you're like, oh, there we go. That's a terrible bit of that movie. Let's go to Old trafford. Manchester United 3, Liverpool 2. So Manchester United in the Champions League for next season. First league double over Liverpool in a decade. If the football season began when Michael Carrick took the job, United would be five points clear at the top of the Premier League. Wilson, you famously hated the PSG. 5 Bayern for game. Was this a good game?

[Jonathan Wilson]

I did not famously hate that game. I had reservations about it and said I acknowledged that my palette was at fault, that it was too rich for my palette. This game was fine. It was nowhere near the quality of psg. Buy in. No, of course, I mean, to be honest, it was this sort of shambolic game that showed probably why both teams maybe should change managers before next season. I think both will actually still be in charge at the beginning of next season. But after 14 minutes, when with United 2 up, I was thinking this. This could be a performance so bad from Liverpool that actually does force Schlot out the door. But Carrick's put United in a really difficult position because he's had this massive advantage that not a single team United have played this season have played more football than them. The failures to get into going out of both cups at the earliest possible opportunity means they are fresher than all the teams they play against. So he really is playing on easy mode and he's done Quite well. You know, it's.

[Barney Ronay]

What is it, 11 wins, two draws,

[Jonathan Wilson]

two defeats, which is, it's pretty good. It's really good. I mean, yeah, we put you five points clear, but is it good enough? Given the advantages they've had, given the lack of pressure on them and that's really, really hard to tell. But now the problem that United have is if they don't keep Carrick on and they point somebody new and they have a slightly iffy start. Oh, why didn't he keep Carrick on? He had United DNA. Look at his record last season. But equally, if they do keep him on and it turns out he can't cope with playing two games a week and European football and the fatigue of that, then they could easily be sacking him in November and it's another wasted

[Max Rushden]

season and I don't know, it's really tricky, Barney.

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, I think that's exactly right. I mean the job next season and in the closed season is not the same job as he's had for the last however many games. They're two different jobs. Doing well at this job does not mean you do well at that job. It's completely different. You need to build a team. You're going to be in the Champions League, you're. It's not the same thing. Also, I mean he's got Steve Holland with him who's, I mean, you know, Steve Holland is, is really good at this kind of thing. He was the Gareth whisperer as well, that the situation is kind of perfectly set for him. I think sometimes life lays traps for you and hiring Michael Carrick is a trap that Manchester United, it looks appealing and it's easy and it's there, but you need to kind of not step on the reeds over the, over the. It's just, it's exactly what Manchester United would do. And do you want. Do what Manchester United would do or do you want to do something different? Would be the question. I, I also, I also had that same thought about Arna Slot, that this might be the one that does for him because of the emotional nature of these games that have done for managers like that before. I mean, slots. Liverpool are really strange team, aren't they? I was thinking watching this that you know, like a cup of tea, tea is kind of one of the worst drinks because you've got basically a 10 minute window where you can drink it. Like it's either too hot or too cold or it's just right and it goes down really quickly, it's too hot for ages and then Suddenly it's okay and then it's too cold. It's just. There's nothing like last season. That was Liverpool. They were. They had just enough Klopp heat in them for this guy who would basically be a brilliant assistant manager to Klopp to come in and just make them drinkable. Just, just right. It's entropy. They had one season of being just the right temperature and now they're too cold. They're a too cold cup of tea.

[Max Rushden]

Is it the same? You don't refill the cup of tea every season. Because what you're saying is last season was the first third of the cup of tea. It was a good cup of tea. And then this season it was a cold cup of tea.

[Barney Ronay]

It was the perfect heat. I mean at times Klopp may have won more leagues if he hadn't been so hot and scalding your mouth every time you took a sip. I'll leave that for a bit.

[Max Rushden]

I see. I understand that's the gagan press of the tea.

[Barney Ronay]

What do you do? Do you microwave the team but don't.

[Barry Glendenning]

Don't you top up your tepid tea with hot drop from the pot?

[Barney Ronay]

Yes.

[Barry Glendenning]

Which would be. Is that recruitment Isaac or carcase? And yes.

[Barney Ronay]

And that has not happened. It turns out that Isaac has been down the other end of the table. Someone else has got a pot. Whatever it's been, he's been, he's not been able to add his heat slot, has not been able to find heat. He's not been able to microwave your seam or top it up and it's simply grown unpalatably cold. And you know when the milk starts to slightly kind of film on the top because it's got colder. Yeah, I feel that's happened.

[Jonathan Wilson]

And I mean I'm not really a tea drinker but my grandparents used to, used to, as they would put it, scald the cup. I'll translate it. Scald the cup. So they'd fill the cup with boiling water first to keep the cup hotter so the tea retained its heat for longer. Could you scald a cup and replace the cooling cup with the scalded cup and, and put the tea in that or is that moving to a new team?

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, I just make a new part at this stage. I mean that's the option, isn't it? And that, that was what I was fearing.

[Jonathan Wilson]

You, you, you have no notion how tight my grandparents were. They wouldn't have been making.

[Barry Glendenning]

Oh, I could. I can guess. I don't think it's from the ground

[Max Rushden]

the apple doesn't fall far from the apple that falls from the tree. You're right. I hate to move us away from this analogy that I'm sure everyone is enjoying.

[Barney Ronay]

People enjoying it.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, yeah.

[Barney Ronay]

Possible.

[Max Rushden]

Barry, what did you make? I mean, the interesting thing about this game is sort of Liverpool had no right to really get back into it. We sort of gifted this chance to get into it and then almost looked like they could have won it before Man United won it.

[Barry Glendenning]

Yeah, they were gifted. Two very soft goals just after halftime. Ahmed, come on. And I think his first contribution of note was to provide the assist for Dominic Sabosloy's weird goal where he just advanced, advanced, advanced, unopposed, caught inside Harry Maguire and slotted the ball through. Somebody die. Dogo Dallow's legs into the corner. So that was a very. A bit of a gift. Then Lammons had his brain fade. I think Liverpool probably deserved a goal because I think the Benjamin Sesko goal shouldn't have stood. Despite Vars insistent that there was no conclusive proof that the ball hit his fingertips. We all saw the ball hit his fingertips. Apparently that doesn't count as conclusive proof. So do we. Do we now force all players to wear gloves with sensors in the fingertips so I can have very good exclusive proof because I. I witness evidence is not enough. Yeah, I suppose it could have gone either way. It was the classic game of two halves, but United won it in the end with a very good goal from Kobbie Menu, whose redemption story has. Has been interesting this season.

[Barney Ronay]

Funny, I thought there were two interesting things, though. I mean, Slot really needs to stop talking about low blocks and how he is repeatedly baffled by this every time he comes up against one. As though it's a crime against football to arrange your team in this way. When the manager of the OPP team repeatedly talks about the fact that his team can't deal with this and repeatedly identifies the thing he has failed tactically to solve. I don't understand what he's trying to do by saying that, yes, teams will do this occasionally. You must have realized by now because you mention it every week. And also I found Szposalai's interview at the end slightly odd, where the interviewer kept saying, have you felt that you're really leading everyone and doing all the right things and everyone else in the team isn't really following? And he kind of went, y that's true. I am a leader. And normally you don't say that. You say, no, it's not like that. We win and lose. As a team we're developing blah, blah, blah. But he didn't say that. And I thought it was slightly jarring. Maybe it's a language thing, but it struck me as just one of those little windows you sometimes get where the note's off and you think there's something not quite right. There's a sense of people coming and going there and of a team that knows it's half built and probably deserves another season to see if it can kind of become more of a team. But there are star players there who are leaving and so many new players that have come in and you haven't really bedded in. We used to say give people a season or two seasons, but it didn't work like that now. And I really think that they will give slot another summer, but by the autumn it could be one of those and that it might be sort of too late to really keep their season going by then. I would be interested to see if he can. If he can make this work. We've got a World cup this summer. I don't know how long these players need to really. There are really profound connections in the team that don't work and things that should work that don't work. The players are too good to seem this kind of entropic and unimpressive. And when he repeatedly talks about the same not being able to solve the same tactical problem every week, I slightly kind of think this isn't really going anywhere.

[Max Rushden]

There is a definite case, but they'll both be there at the start of the season and neither of them will be there at Christmas. But I guess with Wilson, Liverpool spent so much money last summer, but it feels like they need to do the same again.

[Jonathan Wilson]

I mean, I don't think quite the same expenditure. Yeah, I know, yeah. Arsenal fans like point out they actually signed more players and therefore it's been more disruptive to them. But Liverpool tried to undergo a pretty radical change last summer. Your five major players came in, plus a couple of others. I think you would expect that in any circumstance to take time to work. Even towards the end of last season, Schlopp was talking about how this team needs. We need to start again. We need to rip this up. People are getting used to us. So we've had those five players come in. Then the three most expensive, those have managed to start one game together because of injury. Now in part, you can say if Isaac Deal had been handled better, if they'd done that earlier, then maybe some of these problems wouldn't have occurred. They've Also got the Diego Jota factor, which I think we shouldn't underestimate and I think it'll be years before we begin to understand just what the impact of that was. So there's a whole load of mitigating factors there. I don't think Schlot's particularly helped himself, but equally it's one of those things. Whenever I'm watching Liverpool or whenever I'm with Liverpool fans, I sort of think, yeah, they're right. Schlot's gotta go. And then I sort of get away from that and sort of think about, well, actually there's loads of reasons why it hasn't really worked this season. And given, you know, he did win the league in his first season. I don't think it was as simple as he just inherited Klopp's team. I think he did do things with it. Well, I took the temperature down, as Barney said, and that's not an insignificant feat. He probably does deserve another season but I wouldn't go into that next season with any great confidence.

[Max Rushden]

Although, I mean if he did just turn the temperature down, that means he just left the cup of tea on the side. And as we've established, that is now the problem. But we, we, we can't delve any further.

[Barney Ronay]

Yes, he wanted to do that to, to, you know, his style is to have more control. I think Jonathan's right. I was probably a bit harsh there. I think Wirtz and D sec playing together was the idea and remains the idea. And they're both brilliant footballers. And until they've had a chance to try and form some kind of attacking chemistry, it's pretty hard to judge how all that went really, isn't it?

[Barry Glendenning]

The way various big elite Premier League teams are at the moment, the title could be very much up for grabs next season. I'm not saying a Leicester could come along and win it. Certainly Leicester won't come along and win it. But there are various, you know, Liverpool look like there might not be much cop next season. Ditto Man City. If, if Pep leaves. Depending on how they finish this season, we'll see how Arsenal are fixed. But yeah, it does look. As you know, Chelsea are shambles. Spurs are. Well, who knows what will happen to him. So it could be a very open title race next season. So I think it is important that teams get their, their manager appointments right.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, well, I mean the way spurs played yesterday, I will be lumping on for them to win the Premier League next year and we'll start with them in part two.

[Kai Wright]

I'M Kai Wright.

[Kari Sherman]

I'm Kari Sherman and we are here

[Kai Wright]

to tell you about our new show, which is rooted in this feeling that at least I have. I know you have. Where, you know, it's kind of like when you wake up in the morning and you pick up your phone and you're just hit in the face with a fire hose of news, right?

[Kari Sherman]

Like there's war, there's authoritarianism, our planet is burning. I could go on and on and

[Max Rushden]

on and on and on and on.

[Kai Wright]

But like, we're trying to figure out how to manage it, right? Like how do you manage it?

[Kari Sherman]

I manage it by leaning in and trying to learn more and trying to figure out, okay, how can I be smarter about this particular topic and who can I talk to that's going to make me feel better about it and

[Kai Wright]

who can tell me who's responsible for the mess that I'm reading about? So that's our mission. That's the show.

[Kari Sherman]

Welcome to Stateside with Kai and Carter. We're a new show from the Guardian.

[Kai Wright]

We're talking to big thinkers and the best journalists just trying to understand the world through smart conversation and honest reporting.

[Kari Sherman]

We don't have billionaires telling us what to say.

[Kai Wright]

Stateside with Kyan Carter will come out three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday starting May 13th.

[Kari Sherman]

Follow on Apple podcasts or catch us wherever you watch or listen.

[Babbel Advertiser]

If you've used Babel, you would Babbel's conversation based technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babbel is like having a private tutor in your pocket. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription right now at babbel.com acasta spelled B A B B E L.com acast rules and restrictions may apply.

[Progressive Insurance Advertiser]

Insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's name your price tool for years now. With the name your price tool, you tell them what you want to pay and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com, find a rate that works for you with the name your price Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law.

[Max Rushden]

Welcome to part two of The Guardian Football Weekly Lee says, has the witch's curse been lifted? Matthew says, Villa, have a word with yourself. Letting the whole of football down. Aston Villa won Spurs two. Now, there were Wilson, two teams in this football match. Well, I mean, in a sense, so they both need discussing, but it's probably fair to Tottenham fans to say, to talk about Tottenham being good for perhaps the first time in months and months and months, because they were really good, the midfield work. They pressed well, they looked organized. It sounds to me like you're not going to spend much on this before you get to the Villa shambles. But, yeah, I thought they were really good.

[Jonathan Wilson]

I don't dispute that Tottenham were much, much better than they've been for a long, long time in the Premier League. And that is a positive sign for them. And there does seem to be a fight and a spirit and a battle there. And you've got to give de Zerbi credit for that. You can even see some of this baiting the press there, particularly in the second half. And Kinski's willingness to play the ball into what you would say were difficult positions, the midfielder's willingness to deal with that, all of that is very positive. And I think there's reasons for spurs to be optimistic for the first time in months. But you can't overlook the fact that Villa were disgracefully awful. I mean, really shamefully awful. And to an extent, it's fair enough. They've got themselves in a position where they've almost achieved their objectives. And part of your reward for that is you can rest players if you have other priorities. But still, they were dreadful. And what was really on this game for them, their objectives from this game were to come through unscathed in terms of injuries, keep players fit for the second leg of the Europa League semi, and it's a happy byproduct for them that the team they play in that Europa League semi, more pressure is applied to them by the fact that they lost to Tottenham. Now, that is not for seconds suggesting they threw the game. I'm just saying that Villa's motivations were not there and that really showed.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, and that is really interesting, Baz, isn't it, that actually a Villa defeat is probably good for Villa in this game because it does mean that Forest, who are playing Chelsea, most people will have probably heard this pod by the time that game happens, but you know, Forest are looking over their shoulder and they probably can't rest as many players as they want to against Chelsea today.

[Barry Glendenning]

Yeah, they're right back in the relegation Fight if they were ever out of it. And, you know, Emery looked very fed up with what he was seeing yesterday. But I. I wouldn't imagine he cares too much because he only had four players in from the Europe Europa League match the other night. He only picked four of them, rested the rest of them, and I wouldn't imagine he particularly cares about losing this game. And it, as you say, it does give Forest plenty more to think about. If spurs had lost this game, it would have been far better for Forest, but worse for Villa.

[Max Rushden]

Barney, what did you make of Tottenham in this?

[Barney Ronay]

Well, initially I felt cheated and very angry. As someone who's addicted to spurs content, this wasn't what I wanted and. And I felt hurt and personally upset. But then you have to actually give credit to De Zerbi properly. It's often really hard for managers to make an impact, but there's a lot of talk about how it's just either running more, they're more motivated, but it's not just that. And I was sort of surprised that there wasn't at some of the punditry on it because they were playing like a deserbi team rather than simply running. The way he plays is really interesting. We saw it Brighton a lot where the baiting, the press stuff, which Jonathan mentioned, it's basically we play slow, then we play quick. And they were doing that and they were doing the thing of basically waiting on the ball, playing it really slowly when they have in possession in their own half and then going quick. That relies on the players actually buying into it and understand what he's talking about. And a lot of pressing is not just you need to run around, need to run around. It's a team game. It's about drilling and knowing how to respond to players around you. And that's something that he's had, he said eight days to train them in and they've clearly worked really hard at it. And while Emery did look really annoyed, he had that Richard Gere look. Steve Coogan identifies it in the trip where he's sort of looking into the middle distance like that. It's like, is he furious or is he about to kiss me? I don't know. It's one or the other. He's about to say something about his father or he's about to tell you that he's never going to speak to you again or something. It's quite menacing, but also deeply seductive. He had that look on his face because I think his team weren't ready for that. And yeah, okay, it's Jadon Sancho. Can you imagine playing anyone more amenable to an end of season game where, oh my God, they've got Jadon Sancho in the team. You know, he's really going to be up for this. But they didn't look ready for that style. They didn't know what to do. People kept saying, why are Villa not acting, why they're not running around? It's because they were being caught in that bait and press system and they didn't look prepared for it. And it's as though Emery himself had not seen a de Zerbi team before, which obviously he has, but I think he was thinking, oh, God, they're doing that thing and my players are not responding to it. And I think maybe that's why he didn't absolutely destroy them afterwards in the way I thought he was going to. But yeah, spurs look good. The midfield was great. Polynha and Conor Gallagher running around a lot was really good. Not just running around a lot, knowing exactly where they needed to be to enact that system and yeah, problematic for

[Max Rushden]

West Ham and, you know, until Richarlison and Karamwani looked better than I think they've looked. Yeah. The first time that they've started together this season. But they did look like they had an understanding together, didn't they?

[Barney Ronay]

What do you think about performative celebration of a tackle in the 27th minute that's become a big spurs thing. Like, oh, I tackled someone. Yes, yes. I mean, if you're playing against a guy doing that, how do you feel? Is it annoying? Is it fine? Do people do this at every level now?

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, I think it's annoying. I think it would get to you. Not at my level, I don't think. I mean, you. Other people might say, well done, Caden, you know, well done, Rossi. Well in. But I don't think I. I wouldn't want to see them benucciing it quite, you know, until the 95th minute, perhaps. I was actually getting annoyed with the Villa fans who were getting annoyed with their team because I thought if they get so annoyed, the players might realize what's happening and then start playing well. And I was desperate for everyone to stay qu it. Keller makes the point that spurs haven't lost a match since the club announced a merchandise collaboration with Peppa Pig. As a Liverpool fan desperate to stay in the Champions League after this lackluster season, can we also have a Peppa Pig collaboration? We'll do the fix in just a second, but let's talk about Brentford's win over West Ham. There was a funny tweet from Jack Gambardella who just went, oh, look at me, I'm Brentford. I'm going to help spurs and ruin the whole country's fun just so we can qualify for Europe. Grow up, up, he said, which lots of people took seriously. It was a good weekend for Tottenham. I mean, I thought Barry West Ham were quite unlucky in this game. You know, they hit the bar. I think they should have had a penalty where a Brentford player slipped and for some reason, you know, he still took out the West Ham player. They had that goal disallowed and yet defensively they weren't quite up to it.

[Barry Glendenning]

Wayne Rooney was extremely critical of their defending on Match of the Day on Saturday night. I thought he was a little bit harsh on them, but it wasn't great. And they did cough up a couple of soft goals, but I think they probably deserved a point. Hit the woodwork three times, he said that Mavropanis Bullet header that was fractionally offside. But you know, as we have established on on this podcast, hitting the woodwork, it's not even a shot on target. So don't hit the woodwork. Get it into that big rectangle inside the woodwork. But they lost. They lost heavily. And you would imagine, given the way spurs are improving game on game under Deserbi, that West Ham are probably the favorites to go down now. And they do have a couple of tough games coming up as well, though.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, they've got Arsenal at home, Newcastle away, which might be hard, hard, hard to know. I guess Wilson that the moment where do who. Who has been really good for them and his delivery is brilliant. But that foul on Watara, you know, you can just see occasionally a defender gives away a penalty and his whole. The rest of the team are just like, oh, mate.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Yeah. I mean it was right over on the. The edge of the box. He. I mean, I guess from his point of view he doesn't want to let him have time to measure across. But still it's. It's one of those instinctive fouls, isn't it, that I guess it's quite hard to sort of stop yourself from doing. But I mean, I think. I think Jeff is a really good attacking fullback and I was really impressed by him at the Copper nations as well. Well, obviously he ends up being the player who commits the foul which gives away the late penalty and everybody walks off. And yeah, he fought his way into. Into the side during the tournament. Ishmael Jakob start off and Jakobs had A good tournament as well. But Jeff, when he came in in the third grid game was just so good that he, he fought. I think he's. He's really been. Is he even. Has he even been the best left back in the Premier League this season? He's certainly sort of in the conversation for it, but yeah, he didn't have the best game here.

[Max Rushden]

So the run in there, Barney. West Ham have 36 points. Spurs 37, Forest 39. West Ham have home to Arsenal. Newcastle away. Leeds at home. Spurs Leeds at home. Chelsea away. Everton at home. Forest play Chelsea today. Newcastle at home. Man United away. Bournemouth at home.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Home.

[Max Rushden]

What will happen?

[Barney Ronay]

Well, I think it's possible that the sort of theater of the spurs collapse has disguised a little bit that West Ham also aren't very good. Like their base level is not that great and it's also not a particularly well run club as our Spurs. And I think West Ham are in trouble now. What I sort of liked about this is I'd say Brentford and Bournemouth are. They're kind of the Sergeant Majors of the Premier League. They're like, like the teams that decide that keep everyone honest. There's a lot of stuff about why aren't Premier League teams as good as PSG and one, they're as fresh as Bayern and, and the response was, wow, look at the league they play and look how tough it is. And that is true. I mean, Leeds can get in the Champions League if they win all their games. That can still happen. They can finish sixth or get relegated. And the league has been in its. In its, you know, middle and lower third has been really strong and you have to beat these teams who are really good, got really good players, really good managers. And that was what happened to West Ham, basically. They came against an opponent with something to play for in a live league and you get heartache. Even at this stage of the season. It was kind of good in a way. I felt there was a kind of honesty to what happened in that game. West Ham were a bit unlucky, but they're not that good. And they probably are. I think West Ham's fans would probably say we probably are the third worst team in the league. Having said that, they do also have good players in there. And you know, Jared Bowen, you kind of feel will have some say at some point before he leaves to go to Liverpool along with Fernandez, who would probably solve two problems there if they went there. Just. Just a thought, but I. I think they're in trouble. Yeah.

[Max Rushden]

Brentford's win took them into sixth For a bit. And then Bournemouth went into sixth after beating Palace. Barry. And for one of those teams, you know, there's a really high chance that Villa finished fifth.

[Barney Ronay]

Fifth.

[Max Rushden]

There is a really high chance that Villa win the Europa League. And that means sixth gets into the Champions League. I mean it's, you know, things have to happen. But for Brentford and Bournemouth and there are lots of teams who's still in with a shout, right? Chelsea, Fulham. You can't really discount anybody down to Sunderland. I mean, be amazing if Newcastle Leeds did it. But it would be amazing for Baronford or Bournemouth. I don't know who you'd prefer. Who would you prefer out of those two to be in the Champions League?

[Barry Glendenning]

I wouldn't have a preference. I'd probably go Brentford. Just because Keith Andrews is in charge and he's an Irishman. I'd like to see him in the Champions League. But beyond that I wouldn't really have a preference. It would be an unbelievable achievement for either of them. I think Bournemouth are probably better equipped to do well in the Champions League, boss. And is leaving souls. But they always have a good succession plan, don't they? But yeah, I don't have a preference. To be honest. I'd love to see either of them in it. Although I don't want the Premier League to have six teams in the Champions League because it's at least one, if not two too many.

[Max Rushden]

I mean from that we don't need to spend a lot of time on the Bournemouth palace game. Apart from a great utter fury of Jonathan P. Almost the reason I want Var to stay is the fury that it brings on Jonathan Pierce and and his and his just total disdain about that penalty. Senesi brushed by Henderson, went down a couple of steps later, sniper style. Can we get to a stage, Wilson, where that isn't a penalty?

[Jonathan Wilson]

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I don't know anything with Bar anymore. I, I Every, every week, every game brings a new bizarreness and it's almost like the whole thing doesn't work. Which some of us have been saying from the start.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, I mean, as I see also the Sesko handball, I guess that we're all just absolutely staring at his, at Sesko's fingertips.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Well, or the penalty Arsenal didn't get last week, which, I mean I was stunned that was overturned against Atletico.

[Barney Ronay]

No, the real issue is hair pulling. I mean. Well, of course the reason hair pulling has become important is because you can see it and you can say it's happened. That's the reason they can make a rule that they've made a rule they can enforce. Everything else is vague. But that's one thing we actually can do. We can see if someone's touched hair, so therefore we can send people off for it. I think it's absurd. Certainly. If I were playing in the Premier League now, I would grow an incredibly provocative rat's tail that nobody could resist grabbing. And there.

[Max Rushden]

Would you. Would you put, like. Would you dye it a color? Would you put little shiny sparkles on it?

[Barney Ronay]

No, I'd have a little spike and I'd put a marshmallow on it and I would go out to play like that and I would get a contract in the Premier League. I don't need a huge salary, but just a year's contract just to get other players sent off. Gradually grabbing the marshmallow off my rat's tail. Because VAR can get involved, we can see that and we can say it's happened, They've invented a rule that they can enforce. That's what's happened there. Because it's not. I think if you're going to have that rule, the only way it's justifiable is, okay, you can have long hair, but if your hair touches someone else, you get sent off as well. Because I would find it annoying to have people's hair, Cucarilla's hair, shoved into your face, like, while you're trying to mark him. That's offensive. So he needs to either remove the hair or tie it in a neat bun.

[Max Rushden]

What about sort of swimming hats?

[Barney Ronay]

Swimming hats are fine.

[Max Rushden]

Swimming hats are fine.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Well, what about those sort of, you know, in bakeries they have to wear those hats. And that's obviously acceptance.

[Barry Glendenning]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Wilson]

But you.

[Barry Glendenning]

You could still grab that.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah.

[Barry Glendenning]

It should be a swimming hat covered in baby oil.

[Barney Ronay]

So you can't get any hair is either verboten or not verboten. So if I am touched, if Kukurella's hair is shoved, Barry's marking Cucarella at a corner. He's. You're allowed to get close. Suddenly he's got this kind of hair. Who knows what products are on it? That's not acceptable.

[Barry Glendenning]

Does it smell nice? Because if it smells nice, I be okay with that.

[Barney Ronay]

But if you raise a hand just to brush Krukarella's hair out of your face, you'll be sent off.

[Max Rushden]

What if it smells like the Body shop? That's too much at a corner, isn't it?

[Barry Glendenning]

But if he's like Wilson and I and never use a shampoo, then it probably doesn't smell great. It might be that musty. You know, that musty smell you get from unkempt hair worn by a weed smoker. That I'm not suggesting Mark Cucarella is having bifters in his spare time, but I don't want that in my face.

[Max Rushden]

Okay, let's end part two and begin part three at St. James's Park.

[Babbel Advertiser]

Italian if you've used Babel, you would Babbel's conversation based technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babbel is like having a private tutor in your pocket. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription right now at baby babbel.com acast spelled B-A B B E L.com acast rules and restrictions may apply.

[Progressive Insurance Advertiser]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Max Rushden]

Welcome to Part three of the Guardian Football Weekly. We don't need to spend too long on Newcastle Brighton. It was an important win for Newcastle Baz. Lots of questions about them off the pitch, but Eddie Howe needed this.

[Barry Glendenning]

He did need this. And because Newcastle won and I don't like them, I'd rather focus on the Brighton goal because it wasn't mentioned on Match of the Day. And at the risk of incurring the same kind of ridicule I got for two years after suggesting Ethan Pinnock's goal against Liverpool was a potential goal of the season. That tap in far post tapping. I think this Brighton goal was sensational and it didn't even matter to mention a match of the day. I know their time is limited and they had other things to talk about about. But you had Believer to Gross to Hinchelwood to Welbeck to Matoma to Hinchelwood to Welbeck to Hinchelwood again. Boom. Straight through the middle. What's that? Nine short sharp passes. What a goal.

[Max Rushden]

Well, I will say this, I think you're right. It's a brilliant goal and it's a bit reminiscent of that Jack Wilshire goal I was against Norwich.

[Barney Ronay]

I forget.

[Max Rushden]

I can't remember. It was a beautiful goal. The issue I have with it Barrett, if I'm being a real pedant and I hope I'm talking to. I'm looking at the screen and there are some pedants amongst us. Is that it's a bit bobbly. Like the touches are all good, but it's a bit bobbly for a perfect goal. I mean, it is brilliant. But I'm saying it's like a bobbly Jack Wilshire goal. That's what I'm saying. Is anyone.

[Barry Glendenning]

Okay.

[Max Rushden]

Would you like to agree or disagree with me, Wilson?

[Jonathan Wilson]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. No, I agree with you. I agree with you. Yeah. I was. I was so I'd been. I'd been thrown back to a game I played in where we were team and we were getting. Getting battered and I was playing center back, which is never a good idea. And I suddenly found myself in the opposing box after sort of a dozen sharp passes. And I was so startled I just sort of scuffed it miles wide. But it is nice when that suddenly happens. It is a thing I enjoy in football.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's. I mean, it was good to bring it. I mean, look, far bit for me to accuse anyone being self indulgent. Stop myself just in time. And what was the other game? Leeds beating Burnley 31 on Friday night. Which pretty much guarantees their safety. So well done to them. Scott Parker left just after we finished recording on Thursday. Are you surprised that he's gone, Barney? What do you make of that?

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, I'm. I think I'm a bit surprised. I. I want. Are you. Obviously in situations like that, you don't know what's happening internally. Scott Parker can be quite unforgiving about things. And you know, he's a. He's a man of principle. But he's probably quite a good manager to have in the championship. And there seems to be a kind of.

[Barry Glendenning]

Of.

[Barney Ronay]

It's like he's died. There's a lot of sort of tributes being paid to him and sort of somber kind of noble eulogies. So I do wonder what. What exactly happened there. And I would have thought he would be a good person for next season, but it's. I think it's internal politics. I don't think it's entirely. They haven't had a great season, but I don't think he's done a bad job in any sense. And I always like to see him because he's always so chiseled and perfectly dressed, as we know. And he's varying his look more now it's less kind of funeral Director, Eastern Funeral director. He now has a kind of range of golf casual as well, which is

[Max Rushden]

nice in the efl. Then it was the last day, so lots of excitement. Ipswich with one up after three minutes and Tuna up after nine minutes. I think it's qpr. So that was sort of. It was a party for them at Portman Road. They went up on 84 points. Millwall at 83. Barney. And you were there to see your side beat Oxford and like they've had an amazing season and now they have Hull in the playoffs.

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, I mean, it was. It was one of those things. It lasted three minutes. I mean, it always felt like Ipswich's day, really. And it was great to see that they had their most charismatic frontman there singing a song of victory and bringing everyone together with his global renown at the end of the game. And good luck to Nick Ames and I think Ed Sheeran was also there. But the Mill game was really good. I mean a good team. Femi Aziz was great. Playoffs good. And they're gonna play Hull. I mean, I went to this game in the hope there would be a promotion party. It was also. It was just a really good South London day. The ground was full, it was beautiful sunlight. Everyone got behind the team and it was just a kind of nice vibe. I was actually using this game to experiment, but to pilot my new video role, I'm going to start videoing things a bit more on the World Cup. So I thought, why don't I just practice a bit with this? So I thought I'll just video the whole day and it'll be a nice South London day and I'll capture all the stuff around it, you know, from me getting on the bus to the ground. And that lasted about 10 minutes on me getting onto the P12 in Nunhead to go there, where within five minutes there was a guy with. Who was on crutches, but was also incredibly threatening, trying to rip open the door to the driver's thing, you know, that plastic thing, and chanting QPR slogans at the rest of the bus, trying to start a fight. But he was on crutches. Nobody wanted to fight him. And then when we got to New Cross, a guy sat down next to me with the entire. A tray from a Sainsbury's local with salmon. He just walked out with it and sat down next to me and started trying to sell it to people on the bus and, and people. And I thought, I don't know if I can really video this. I. I would have felt bad videoing that. Or might have been in trouble. It's nice to see local fishermen flourishing, you know, local trades. But I got to the ground and it was just. I can't video these people. I'm going to be. I'm going to be laid out with a single. I'll become a meme, you know, I'll become immortalized forever.

[Max Rushden]

I've got to say, of all the people I'd like to see just pivoting to things. I wish I told my 20 year old self and sort of talking slowly as you aimlessly wander about town. I'm all for you becoming that guy. Barney. I. I think you'd be great.

[Barry Glendenning]

We. We should do World cup videos as well, Max. I think a lot of them will just be me. Me giving out to you for not doing the washing up, for leaving your laundry strewn around, for stealing my can of Lynx Africa.

[Max Rushden]

A lot of them. Barry will be you telling me how to behave in a pub because you presume I've never been to a pub before. I'm just not as good at being in the pub as you. And so you'll be giving me lessons on where to sit and how to address people in a pub as if I'm completely a useless human being. That's what I'll have happen and. And there'll be me videos of me just poking you in the face for hours on end until you finally crack. That's what will happen. So yeah, listen to our daily pods as we want to kill each other in the United States. Southampton Middlesbrough is going to be the other semi. Other semi final. Rexam miss out on the playoffs because they drew 22 with Middlesbrough. So Hull get their spot. Sheffield Wednesday's first home win of the season. Blimey. Their last game they beat West Brom. So they finish on the magical 0.2 figure after that 18 point deduction it was a sold out Hillsborough. New owners have been announced. They were given a 15 point deduction for next season but it's been wiped and the video went down. The Countdown 15 0. It was great.

[Jonathan Wilson]

They did that really well as well, didn't they? Because it wasn't just sort of 15, 14, 30. They paused at moments. They really paused at nine.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, yeah they really.

[Jonathan Wilson]

And there's some quite big cheers quite early. And then they realized they're still going down.

[Max Rushden]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved it. Roy Hodgson's Bristol City spell is over. But by all means keep sending us his whereabouts. Where it be? The west country or. Or anywhere else? League 1. The top of it was pretty Much sorted. Lincoln had kind of up Stevenage, snuck into the playoffs with a goal that is impossible to see. If it crossed the line at Luton's expense and Luton are very disappointed about it. But you know, how the hell does anyone know? But it was given and so well done to Stephen, who's there. And they'll play Stockport. Bradford will play Bolton at the bottom. Layton Orient survive exter go down. Richie Wellens, the latent Orient manager afterwards. Great when he just said, I've wasted a year of my life managing this team and they've wasted a year of their lives. They shouldn't be celebrating. The fans should, but they shouldn't. Billy Sharp's final game, he scored a hat trick for Doncaster away at Peterborough. So there's a man who scored hat tricks in the league in his teens, his 20s, his 30s and his 40s. So well done to Billy Sharp.

[Barry Glendenning]

Just going back to that Richie Wellens. I won't say rant because it was a very measured seven minute long soliloquy, but I watched the last episode of series three of Ted Lasso on Saturday morning and then I saw the Richie Wellens rant in inverted commas later in the day I was thinking, Ted Lasso wouldn't do that.

[Max Rushden]

No, I think Ted Lasso would be different if it was called Richie Wellens and the whole thing was Richie Wellens. Islands top of League 2. Then Bromy MK Dons were already up. Bromley are champions. So Cambridge just needed to do as least as well as Salford did Knott's County. And it turned out that Cambridge and Salford and Knott's county all drew. Which means that the mighty Use are promoted. And there was a real agonizing wait when our game finished. We missed a penalty in the first half and then our game fished their keep. Had a brilliant game and we just didn't know what was happening at Salford. And then it turned out that they'd also draw nil. Nil at Crawley who are fighting for their lives. And they stayed up. And then when you see the penalty that Sulford didn't get awarded, you think sometimes it is just your lucky day. And Carl Robinson was not happy and probably fair enough. So that means Silver in the playoffs. They'll play Grimsby who snuck in, not Scouting who played Chesterfield. But well done to Neil Harris and Mark Bonner and everyone at the use. I'm delighted at the bottom. Harrogate lost and that draw for Crawley TR as well means that Harrogate are down. Barrow down as well. They were pretty much already. And also worth saying that Rochdale who agonizingly missed out on promotion to the Football League after that injury time equalizer they conceded to York. They are in the playoff final where they'll play Boreham Wood at Wembley. So I I think most people will be pleased to see Rochdale going up as well. Jonathan writes Afternoon Max and panel. Long time listener, first time emailer. Congratulations on Cambridge's promotion this weekend. Hopefully that helps get this read out. I'm just emailing to say that I was one of 1600 fans watching a playoff final on Saturday at Tier 9 of the pyramid, making a hour trip to see Grantham Town beat Newark Town 2 nil to seal promotion. I thought Grantham and Newark could be closer than that. Anyway, that's not the interesting part of this. The only other time we've got a mention on the pod is when crows devoured our pitch a couple of seasons ago. Added to the fact that this year was our first winning season since 2018 and the last few years have been utter draw, Saturday was epic. We were great. We finally broke our playoff curse. I've been walking on air ever since, despite it being the most excruciating 90 minutes imaginable, never believing it could happen until about 30 seconds from the end. Alas, this tale doesn't include vasectomy's upcoming nuptials or meeting former England manager in the wild. But for one day this weekend, a team made a town absolutely delirious and ultimately that's what it's all about. Thank you, Jonathan.

[Jonathan Wilson]

So how far did he say that to travel?

[Max Rushden]

He said a five hour round trip for Newark and Grantham.

[Jonathan Wilson]

I mean, unless the trains were particularly screwed. That's just nonsense. I mean it's not even half an hour is it on the lner?

[Max Rushden]

That's what I thought. Maybe he, maybe he lives somewhere else. I mean that is entirely possible.

[Barney Ronay]

He may have a tricky he may have to ride one of those tiny folding bikes to get to the train. You just don't know that's true.

[Max Rushden]

Or he might have been one on a Laurel and Hardy uppy downy.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Yeah, I, I just think they kind of, you know, complaining about travel when you're literally you have a station next to each other on a major rail line. Come on mate, it's worse than call.

[Barney Ronay]

Yeah, it's an outrage.

[Max Rushden]

Nathan says Dear Max, Barry and everyone, a big howdy from Abilene in Texas. I'm writing because I may have stumbled on a potential revenue stream for the pod. Several weeks ago I tried listening to an episode while lying in bed at night only to fall asleep less than 10 minutes in. Something about the panel's soothing voices and low key banter just knocked me right out. Since that night, whenever low key these are.

[Jonathan Wilson]

These are bad emails, Max. Why are we reading these out?

[Max Rushden]

Since that night, whenever I've laid my head down for a quick afternoon nap, I've bypassed my white noise app and instead pushed play on Football Weekly. The episode featuring Sam Dalling's extended metaphor comparing Newcastle United to coffee cake was a reliable go to. Wow.

[Barney Ronay]

Goodness.

[Max Rushden]

This T1 will get people fall asleep straight away. However, I'm now afraid that this move may have negative repercussions as I found my eyelids getting dangerously heavy on the 181 mile drive for my daughter Charlotte's soccer game in Dallas today. I stopped at a gas station to splash water on my face in the bathroom sink. But before long I was tired again. That's when I realized maybe it's because I'm listening to the pod. I switched to Sirius XM Radio's VJ Big 40 countdown of the top hits from the week in 1983, and thanks to ZZ Top Culture Club and Thomas Dolby, I arrived at Moneygram Soccer park safe and sound. Could there be something here? Here, maybe a selection of Guardian Sleep Sounds Weekly featuring Wilson reading excerpts from his book, Lars talking about xg, Johnny Liu explaining the coefficient Etc. You could bring peaceful sleep to a stressed out football loving world. So sad I couldn't break away to make the 217 mile drive to catch you guys in Austin. I'm hoping to get a chance to meet you to the day England play Croatia in arlington, a mere 163 miles from my home. Texas is big. Thanks y' all for what you do. Sincerely, not Nathan. So there we go. Thank you Nathan.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Right, so Newark to Grantham is 15.6 miles. I think. I think Jonathan.

[Barney Ronay]

Okay, he's already asleep. Wilson is fine. He's already asleep.

[Jonathan Wilson]

No, no, this is the first person. This is. What was this bloke called? Max.

[Max Rushden]

Sorry, Nathan. The man who's falling asleep.

[Jonathan Wilson]

So I think Jonathan should listen to Nathan's email and think he's traveling 181 miles to see his daughter's soccer game or something. He's considering going 217 miles east. And there's Jonathan complaining about a major football match, including his team. It's 15.6 miles away.

[Max Rushden]

As I said, he may not live in Grantham or Newark. That is the possibility that we haven't considered.

[Barry Glendenning]

But the Moneygram soccer park has 19 pitches, so if he got there, he would probably struggle to find which field Grantham are playing on.

[Max Rushden]

It's a good point. Yeah.

[Barney Ronay]

On that note, we should also do a shout out to the Southern playoff finals tonight. Hitchin Town against Biggleswade on top field. It's another one of those very close together, but probably quite hard to get their places. And you don't want to mess with Biggleswade, who sound a bit like one. Sounds like one of those places Ali G would always have a beef with, like the Biggles Wade Massive.

[Jonathan Wilson]

There's three different teams in Biggles Wade. It's a. It's. It's a very fractured city. Football wise city. Hamlet, whatever it is.

[Max Rushden]

We've exhausted everything we needed to exhaust today. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Barry.

[Barry Glendenning]

Thank you.

[Max Rushden]

Thank you, Wilson.

[Jonathan Wilson]

Thank you.

[Max Rushden]

Thank you, Barney.

[Barney Ronay]

Thanks. Goodbye, everyone. And just to echo Richie Wellens, I also feel incredibly betrayed and I've wasted quite a lot of the last 57 minutes. And everyone in this pod needs to take a really good look at themselves.

[Max Rushden]

Football Weekly is produced by Silas Gray. Our executive producer is Joel Grove. And we'll be back on Wednesday.

[Kari Sherman]

This is the Guardian.