Football Weekly – Grimsby's Glory and Scottish Sides' Slump in Europe

Date: August 28, 2025
Host: Max Rushden
Panel: Jonathan Wilson, Mark Langdon, Robyn Cowan
Guest: Ewan Murray (Scottish Football Correspondent)

Overview

The episode dives deep into Grimsby Town’s shock Carabao Cup win over Manchester United on penalties, dissecting both the hilarious and harrowing elements for United. The panel then moves to the Scottish football scene, where both Rangers and Celtic endure European miseries, reflecting a broader identity crisis within both clubs. In the final section, the team previews the coming Premier League fixtures, discusses transfer sagas, and indulges in light banter about manager wedding dances and Oxford United struggles.

Main Discussion Segments

1. Grimsby’s Carabao Cup Triumph Over Manchester United

[01:21–24:03]

Key Points

• Grimsby 2–2 Manchester United (Grimsby win 12–11 on penalties):
  A historic result, as United lose to a fourth-tier side for the first time in the League Cup, after a marathon and rain-soaked penalty shootout.
• Grimsby’s Performance:
  • Dominant first half; were 2-0 up, had a controversial third ruled out.
  • Manager Dave Artell praised for his approach, keeping it light ("loved him just laughing through the penalties" - Max Rushden, [06:33]).
  • Grimsby fielded several players with top-level background who played with “a point to prove.”
• Manchester United’s Failings:
  • Defensive chaos, especially in set-pieces and transitions.
  • Structure and 3-4-2-1 system criticized by Jonathan Wilson:

    "Even on its own terms, the formation, the system is not working." ([08:54])

  • Manager Ruben Amorim seems lost, displaying little energy or presence on the touchline during penalties.
• Amorim’s Job and United’s Broader Crisis:
  • Panel debates whether to stick or twist with Amorim.
  • Mark Langdon:

    "Are you just backing the wrong one and he’s making significant changes... I personally wouldn't sack him just for a Cup defeat to Grimsby, but things do need to change somewhere." ([10:28])

  • Wilson questions United's recruitment, especially after spending £200m on forwards, and points out ongoing weak points, such as goalkeeper Onana’s penalty record.

    "You'd like you to score if it's Onana, I think is basically it." ([14:08])

  • The inflexibility of system and risk of losing a talented young player, Kobbie Mainoo, highlighted:

    “Manchester United really want to sacrifice Kobbie Mainoo on the altar of the Amarim faith, for which there is no evidence it is true.” ([19:31])

• Humorous moments:
  • Extended penalty shootout (“Won’t someone think of the parents of small children...” - Max Rushden, [02:23])
  • Weather-induced mishaps ("Reuben Amaring's laminated tactic sheet...just a kind of fidget spinner" - Robyn Cowan, [04:05])
  • The man vowing not to cut his hair until United win five games in a row.

Notable Quote

• On United’s shape:

  “It’s like a Victorian bandstand on very sort of rusty legs...They spent £200m on forwards to make themselves even worse.” – Jonathan Wilson ([15:02], [15:25])

2. Scottish Football’s Week of Misery

[26:01–41:32]

Key Points

• Rangers and Celtic Both in Crisis:
  • Rangers: Out of Europe after hiding in Bruges, fans quickly turning on manager Russell Martin.

    "I can only laugh at how lamentable we are...Russell Martin insisted he was proud of his players for getting it back to 3-1." – Listener email, read by Max ([27:41]) "I cannot see a way, even in the medium term, that Russell Martin extricates himself from this situation." – Ewan Murray ([29:50])

  • Celtic: Knocked out on penalties by almost-unknown Kairat Almaty in UCL qualifiers, after squad was weakened by lack of summer investment.

    “Since Brendan's come back, they've seen beyond Scotland…To not at least have a squad which is at the same level as last season, as they are now, is worse. That's unacceptable if you're a Celtic fan.” – Ewan Murray ([36:54])

• Both Clubs’ Deeper Problems:
  • Rangers: Poor championship recruitment, defensive frailty, loan signings not up to scrutiny, manager dogmatic and perhaps defeated.

    “So many people speak about Martin’s philosophy, Martin’s system...Rangers are just so disorganized.” – Ewan Murray ([28:28])

  • Celtic: Criticism that the board lack ambition; supporters and Rodgers not aligned on transfer aims.

    “Increasingly getting to the point where Celtic and Brendan Rodgers are not compatible.” – Ewan Murray ([38:36])

• Prospects for Others:
  Hearts cited as the best-situated outsider to capitalize, thanks to investment from Tony Bloom, though both panel and Ewan think major change is still distant.
• Light-hearted:
  • Max jokes Rangers-Celtic fans might come together in mutual misery ([27:10])
  • Mis-tagged “retrieval practices in mathematics” question, causing laughs ([41:05])

3. Premier League Preview and Miscellaneous

[41:41–58:42]

Key Matches

• Liverpool vs Arsenal:
  • Both teams have unsettled starts—Arsenal might be without Saka and Ødegaard; opportunity for Eberechi Eze to shine.
  • Mark Langdon:

    “Going to Anfield in August is very different to…April if the title was on the line…I wouldn’t be surprised if this one finished in a draw.” ([43:02])

• Nottingham Forest v West Ham:
  • West Ham “klaxon of doom” blaring; Bowen at odds with fans, defensive calamities abound.
  • Mark:

    “When a fan base is angry, it becomes angry at everything.” ([47:55])

• Man City v Brighton:
  • Brighton look lively but need to finish off games; City aim to rebound from Spurs loss.
  • Robin:

    “Brighton…had better xG in their first two games…but they don’t seem to hang on…just what sort of Manchester City team turns up?” ([49:54])

• Other Notables:
  • Sunderland’s start to life in the Premier League; importance of quick points ([50:48])
  • Spurs' title challenge, Thomas Frank’s impressive start amid transfer frustrations ([52:36])

Fun and Light-Hearted Bits

• Wilson’s Book Plug:
  • Jonathan Wilson humorously touts his new World Cup tome as possibly “the greatest book ever written.”

    “This will single handedly make literacy cool again.” – Jonathan Wilson ([56:12])

  • Panel jokes about wedding dance videos and 19th-century Russian choreography ([57:32])
• Oxford United Minute:
  • Robin’s update on Oxford’s grim start and management under Gary Rowett.

    “We didn’t hit anything.” ([54:44])

  • Zen acceptance of their status:

    “Lowest budget in the league…in Gary we trust.” ([55:01])

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On United’s System:
  “Even on its own terms, the formation, the system is not working.” – Jonathan Wilson ([08:54])

• On the Penalty Shootout:
  “Won’t someone think of the parents of small children when they keep scoring these penalties?” – Max Rushden ([02:23])

• On Managerial Dogmatism:
  “Manchester United really want to sacrifice Kobbie Mainoo on the altar of the Amarim faith, for which there is no evidence it is true.” – Jonathan Wilson ([19:31])

• On Scottish Football’s Mood:
  “I don’t remember a time when there is collective dismay and anger the way there is just now…both Celtic and Rangers fans are utterly furious.” – Ewan Murray ([27:10])

• On Living Through a Footballing Crisis:
  “When a fan base is angry, it becomes angry at everything.” – Mark Langdon ([47:55])

• On New Book Promotion:
  “I don’t want to oversell it, but I think it might be the Greatest book ever written.” – Jonathan Wilson ([56:08])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:21] – Grimsby v Man United: match reaction, shootout, Amorim, United’s malaise
• [08:54] – Jonathan Wilson’s tactical breakdown of United’s failings
• [13:22] – Extended discussion of United’s squad-building and goalkeeper flaws
• [26:01] – Scottish Football: Ewan Murray on Rangers and Celtic’s European miseries
• [31:21] – Russell Martin’s Rangers – what’s gone wrong
• [34:27] – Celtic’s transfer failings and European exit
• [43:02] – Liverpool v Arsenal preview
• [47:01] – Forest v West Ham, crisis talk
• [49:54] – City v Brighton preview
• [54:44] – Oxford United minute, Wilson’s book chat
• [56:08] – Jonathan Wilson promotes his new book, banter about his wedding dance

Conclusion

A classic Football Weekly: sharp analysis, rampant humor, and a strong sense of football’s quirks from the sublime (Grimsby’s cup heroics, memeable managers) to the ridiculous (managerial wedding dances). Essential listening for fans of both top-tier drama and lower-league romance, underpinned by the Guardian’s journalistic flair and self-effacing panel chemistry.