For Good Podcast Episode Summary

Title: Dr. Jay Barnett on Trauma, Love & Letting Go
Release Date: August 12, 2025
Host: Joseph "JoJo" Simmons

1. Introduction to Dr. Jay Barnett

In this deeply personal and transformative episode of For Good, host Joseph "JoJo" Simmons welcomes Dr. Jay Barnett, a former NFL player turned mental health therapist, author, and speaker. Dr. Barnett's journey from surviving personal trauma to becoming a mental health advocate provides listeners with invaluable insights into healing and emotional resilience.

2. Early Life and Overcoming Trauma

Dr. Barnett opens up about his tumultuous childhood, marked by an abusive stepfather. At the age of 16, he made the life-altering decision to leave home and live with the Marr family, a white family that offered him the love and stability he desperately needed.

[00:19] Dr. Barnett: "If you can't love you for just being you always think that you have to do something, put on a show to get love."

This significant disruption during his formative years set the stage for his later emphasis on the necessity of affection and emotional support for boys.

3. The Importance of Affection and Emotional Support

Dr. Barnett emphasizes the critical need for physical affection in the development of boys. He shares a poignant story about Woody Marr, the patriarch of the Marr family, who was the first man to offer him a genuine hug.

[05:10] Dr. Barnett: "Woody was the first man that hugged me. I didn't know why he loved me, but that warmth of acceptance was something I had never experienced before."

This experience taught him that unconditional love and acceptance are fundamental to building confidence and emotional intelligence in young boys.

4. Surviving Suicide Attempts and Building Resilience

Dr. Barnett candidly discusses his struggle with mental health, including surviving two suicide attempts at ages 23 and 31. He reflects on how these moments were pivotal in his journey towards self-discovery and his commitment to helping others.

[15:10] Dr. Barnett: "I never forget those two incidents. They were pivotal moments where I did not want to be here because I didn't know who I was supposed to be."

His resilience is rooted in his ability to transform personal pain into purpose, driving his advocacy for mental health awareness, particularly among Black men and fathers.

5. Storytelling as a Healing Process

Dr. Barnett shares his approach to storytelling, which allows him to heal without retraumatizing himself. By stepping outside his own experience and narrating his story from a third-person perspective, he effectively communicates his message while maintaining emotional boundaries.

[21:00] Dr. Barnett: "I have to step out of it. It becomes like an out-of-body experience where I narrate the story for the listener."

This technique enables him to provide relatable and impactful narratives that resonate with diverse audiences.

6. Letting Go of the Past and Moving Forward

A central theme of the episode is the importance of releasing past trauma to live fully in the present. Dr. Barnett explains that true healing comes from changing one's relationship with the past rather than forgetting it.

[28:16] Dr. Barnett: "You know that you have transitioned out of the past when stepping back into it doesn't have the same impact on your present."

He underscores the need for deconstructing negative narratives and embracing a future unburdened by past pain.

7. Recognizing When Someone is Struggling

JoJo and Dr. Barnett discuss how to identify when someone is struggling internally, even if they appear to have it all together on the outside. Dr. Barnett highlights the importance of paying attention to behavioral cues and creating safe spaces for open conversations.

[32:19] Dr. Barnett: "Pay attention to how people behave, what they're saying, and their cadence. Their energy can reveal so much."

Creating an environment where individuals feel safe to express their vulnerabilities is crucial for effective support.

8. Advice for Listeners on Letting Go

When asked for actionable advice, Dr. Barnett suggests beginning the healing process by identifying what is holding you back. He advocates for various healing modalities, including therapy, writing, and spiritual practices.

[35:36] Dr. Barnett: "Allowing yourself to surrender to the process is the first step. Let go of the story that has been attached to you."

He emphasizes the importance of intentionality in pursuing peace and rest, which are essential for mental and emotional rejuvenation.

9. Dr. Barnett's Upcoming Book

Dr. Barnett shares insights into his forthcoming book titled "Pace", which focuses on maintaining a sustainable speed in life by preventing the nervous system from becoming overactive. He discusses the concept of "pursuing pace" as a means to achieve renewal and recalibration.

[38:53] Dr. Barnett: "Pursuing pace is about allowing yourself to reset, relearn, and become intentional about having a conscious state of rest."

The book aims to guide readers towards a balanced and intentional lifestyle, promoting long-term well-being.

10. Conclusion

The episode concludes with heartfelt appreciation from JoJo to Dr. Barnett, acknowledging the profound impact of his story and advocacy work. Dr. Barnett’s journey from trauma to healing underscores the podcast’s mission to foster grounded, soul-level conversations about mental health and personal growth.

[41:18] JoJo Simmons: "Your story is super inspiring. What you're doing for yourself is the most inspiring."

Listeners are left with a powerful message of hope, resilience, and the transformative power of letting go to embrace a purposeful and fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways

• Acceptance and Love: Accepting past trauma is crucial, but it should not define your entire narrative. Unconditional love and acceptance, especially during childhood, are vital for emotional development.

• Resilience Through Storytelling: Sharing personal stories can be therapeutic and can help others find their path to healing without retraumatizing oneself.

• Letting Go vs. Rumination: Distinguishing between healthy processing of past events and unhealthy rumination is essential for moving forward.

• Creating Safe Spaces: It's important to cultivate environments where individuals feel safe to express their vulnerabilities and seek support.

• Intentional Healing: Embracing intentional practices such as pursuing pace and conscious rest can lead to long-term emotional and mental well-being.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Barnett on Love and Acceptance:
  "[00:19] If you can't love you for just being you always think that you have to do something, put on a show to get love."

• Dr. Barnett on Stepping Out of Trauma:
  "[21:00] I have to step out of it. It becomes like an out-of-body experience where I narrate the story for the listener."

• Dr. Barnett on Moving Beyond the Past:
  "[28:16] You know that you have transitioned out of the past when stepping back into it doesn't have the same impact on your present."

• Dr. Barnett on Letting Go:
  "[35:36] Allowing yourself to surrender to the process is the first step. Let go of the story that has been attached to you."

About the Hosts and Production

For Good is hosted by Joseph "JoJo" Simmons, a multifaceted entertainer and mental health advocate, and produced by 3isFor, a creative studio dedicated to building with purpose and championing regenerative business models. The podcast focuses on mental health, emotional intelligence, and personal growth through grounded and soul-level conversations.

Tune in to For Good for more inspiring stories and meaningful discussions that encourage healing and intentional living.