Episode 378: Don’t Leave Home Without Your Sunbrella with Mari Yamamoto

Summary

Forever35 – Episode 378: Don’t Leave Home Without Your Sunbrella with Mari Yamamoto

Date: November 17, 2025
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Guest: Mari Yamamoto (actor, writer, former journalist)

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Main Theme

This episode features a lively, heartfelt conversation with actor/writer Mari Yamamoto, who stars in the new film "Rental Family" alongside Brendan Fraser. The discussion explores Mari's self-care routines, sun protection wisdom, her journey from journalism to acting, and deeper themes of loneliness, connection, and cultural expectations in Japan (and beyond), as reflected in her new film.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Catch-Up and Setting the Scene

• Doree and Elise chat about family, tennis, and childhood memories (03:26–08:30).
• Mari’s connection to the show: She and Elise became close while working in Japan, where Mari acted as Elise's guide and interpreter (17:05–18:20).
• Introduction of Mari and her background: born in Japan, raised in Tokyo and London, BA in International Relations, trained actor, roles in "Pachinko," co-writer for "Tokyo Vice" (10:39–11:35).

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2. Self-Care and Cultural Habits

• Mari on Self-Care:

  • Recently focused on being “less apologetic about everything”—a shift from ingrained Japanese cultural habits (15:44–16:18).

    “That nothing comes to mind. No. Wow. Being less apologetic about everything. Which is sort of very Japanese of me.” — Mari (15:49)

  • Discusses the Japanese custom of “leading with apology” in everyday life (16:23–17:05).

• Cultural Reflection:

  • Mari reminisces about her early days with Elise in Tokyo: acting, journalism, and coping with the city's heat using her “sunbrella” (18:27–19:19).
  • Elise jokes about how Mari converted her to sun protection:

    “Man, I’m all about, like, fry crispiness. Just kidding. I mean, I’m much better about it now. I actually did change. I think in Asia.” — Elise (19:38) “Good job, Doree. Thank you.” — Mari (19:47)

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3. Sun Protection & Skincare Wisdom

Mari’s Essentials: (19:59–21:32)

• Never leaves home without her “sunbrella” (sun umbrella):

  “Rule number one: Don’t go anywhere without your sunbrella. Right. Truly. Even if people look at you strange… It’s actually cooler in the dead of summer under a little shade you bring along.” — Mari (20:08)

• Uses Japanese sunscreen religiously; loyal to her preferred products because of sensitive skin.
• Goes to a skin therapist in Japan (private, organic line).
• Sheet masks on planes; overall emphasis on gentle, consistent care.

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4. About ‘Rental Family’ – Plot & Character Insight

Film Overview & Themes: (22:03–23:52)

• "Rental Family" follows an American actor in Japan who finds unexpected connection and meaning by working in a business where people can “rent” actors to play family members or acquaintances.

  “He finally finds belonging in Japan, of all places, through this job… I hope that it makes people feel like they’ve been on a trip in Japan…” — Mari (23:28)

Mari’s Character – Aiko: (24:08–28:46)

• Aiko: employee and top performer at the rental family agency.
• Coordinates actors for clients and personally participates—especially in the “apology service” where someone takes the fall for others’ mistakes (a real Japanese service) (24:30–25:30).
• Discusses Aiko’s “heart of the operation” role, her personal backstory, and why Aiko takes on degrading apology roles:

  “She really believes in this business…in order to keep the business going, they need to take these apology cases… She can help the people who really need it… Maybe it’s a little bit of self punishment.” — Mari (25:35, 28:47)

• Explains that screenwriters created extensive backstories for all main characters, deepening the film’s emotional resonance (26:37–27:02).

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5. Performance, Loneliness & Societal Commentary

Meta-Performance: Mari describes the experience of playing an actor who is, in turn, performing for clients (33:23–35:19).

Rental Services & Loneliness: (36:30–43:27)

• Elise’s real-life stint as a “fake wedding guest” in Korea parallels film’s ideas:

  “The reason why she needed to hire a bunch of guests is because she had told her fiancé she had a big family... so she hired all these actors.” — Elise (35:28)

• Discussion grows deeper: Are rental agencies a symptom of loneliness? Are they a sign of societies where appearances and “saving face” matter more than connection?
• Mari’s nuanced take: Though the service might seem superficial, it provides a lifeline for those slipping through loneliness’s cracks:

  “Isn’t it better to have something people can turn to instead of them falling through the cracks of loneliness?” — Mari (37:46)

• She opens up about losing her father and connecting with the film’s themes of finding care and humanity in unexpected places (38:41–42:07).
• Reflects on Japan’s unique social dynamics: politeness and consideration lead to isolation because individuals are so attuned to others’ needs that they suppress their own (41:33–42:07).
• Elise notes parallels: global rise of loneliness, pressures to perform on social media, and growing self-consciousness extend these issues beyond Japan (42:07–42:39).
• Mari on hope and connection:

  “If you reach out, other people also want that… Don’t stop reaching out is…what we're trying to say.” — Mari (43:15)

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6. Career Pathways & Advice

Journalism to Acting: (43:27–44:17)

• Elise observes the rarity of journalists moving into acting. Mari credits supportive parents and the importance of being a “multi-hyphenate.”
• Sees clear through-line from journalism (“the pursuit of truth”) to acting:

  “For me, acting is the same in that you’re pursuing the truth of a character.” — Mari (44:15)

• Advice for creatives: Keep generating material, be a self-starter; hard work eventually gets noticed (“if you’re grinding, someone’s going to notice”) (45:48).

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7. Closing Highlights

• Mari’s recent projects:
  • “Rental Family” in theaters Nov 21
  • “Legacy of Monsters” on Apple TV (with co-star from Rental Family) (46:17–46:53)
• Hosts reflect on Mari’s warmth, humor, and adaptability.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You lead with an apology. I think people find it really strange… It’s so interesting that I’m still doing this.” — Mari Yamamoto on Japanese culture (16:34)
• “Rule number one: Don’t go anywhere without your sunbrella. Even if people look at you strange…I know you wish you had one.” (20:08)
• “She’s the heart of the operation…she really goes the extra mile for everybody.” — Mari on her character Aiko (24:08)
• “Isn’t it better to have something to turn to, instead of them falling through the cracks of loneliness?” (37:46)
• “Even if the beginning of an interaction is transactional, it doesn’t mean that real things, real connection, can’t happen.” (38:59)
• “If you reach out, other people also want that… Don’t stop reaching out is…what we're trying to say.” (43:15)
• “Always being a self-generator is the key. I think that’s how I’m surviving.” (45:50)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 15:44 — Mari’s self-care shift: less apologizing
• 19:10 — Sunbrella, skincare rituals
• 22:03 — “Rental Family” synopsis
• 24:08 — Exploring Aiko’s role and backstory
• 36:30 — Rental families, loneliness, and society
• 43:27 — On journalism, acting, and being multi-hyphenate
• 46:17 — Where to find Mari and her work

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Podcast Tone

Warm, witty, and thoughtful. The episode blends humor (stories of sunbrellas, fake weddings, tennis), cultural insight, and genuine exploration of emotional and societal topics.

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For New Listeners

This episode is an inviting, insightful conversation perfect for those fascinated by self-care, cross-cultural lives, navigating change, and the ways we find (and manufacture) connection in a fast-changing world. Mari Yamamoto’s story and wisdom shine through, making it a memorable listen.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dory Shafriar.

[A]

And I'm Elise Hu. And we are just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

[B]

And we have one of Elisa's old friends on today.

[A]

She's not just one of my old friends because we don't just let anybody come onto the show. Though I will say, like some of my oldest friends, like, my fifth grade bestie would be amazing. She's hilarious and like one of my big cultural influences. But today we have on the show Mari Yamamoto, another shining light whose last name is Yamamoto in our lives. But yes, she is an actor, a writer, formerly briefly a journalist. I think she studied art when she was in college and is starring in a big movie that's coming out at the end of this week called Rental Family with Brendan Fraser. Perhaps you've heard of him.

[B]

You know what, Elise? I have heard of him.

[A]

So we're going to get to that conversation.

[B]

I also just want to note that early on in the show, we did have my 5th grade bestie on who was not a famous person.

[A]

Wait. Oh, maybe we should do a little series.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So, you know, if you want to have your fifth grade bestie on, we could. We could do that. We also had my sister on Siblings would be rad.

[A]

Roger Hugh is full of stories. I. I always say, Roger Hugh is the more extroverted Hugh. And then people are like, what?

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

He's the one who likes to talk to strangers more than me.

[B]

What?

[A]

He makes people laugh. Yes, because Roger always said growing up that I was cold compared to him. Like, I was the cooler, not cool. Like, as in, I have a question.

[B]

Are your parents really extroverted?

[A]

My mom is very social. My mom's a party girl. Yeah. My mom is one of those ladies who is always hosting parties and it takes her lots. It's like she has excellent liver function or something because it takes her lots of beers to get drunk so she can go out and stay out. And my dad is a lot more just like mellow chill. But he can totally roll with her. With her hosting all the time. He can hang. He can hang. He's just like, oh, yep, we're having people over tonight. And it's just like. But we, we had people over growing up as a kid all the time. It was like, oh, mom decided to have a dance party in the basement and mom decided to have a karaoke contest. And she's just, she's very social. That's my brother.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

My brother is Neurodiverse. He's NeuroSpicy ADHD and like, so much fun. After I, we stopped fighting all the time as little kids, we just fought all the time. And I, I found him to be insufferable because I had like elder eldest daughter energy and I was just like, turning my nose up at my brother all the time. But once we were in college, I think I was just like, oh, my gosh, this guy is like the funniest person I know.

[B]

Aw, I love that.

[A]

Yeah, he's great.

[B]

That's really cool.

[A]

Yeah. If we ever, if we, if siblings come back on the show, then we'll have to call Roger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So anyway, let's catch up a little bit. Is tennis over, Elise? What?

[B]

Tennis is never over.

[A]

How could I forget? How could you through this?

[B]

I mean, the, the like, most intense tennis thing is over. Like, nationals is done. And that was like, truly nuts. So it's a little more chill right now, but. Okay. We are not, you know, done quote unquote. There will be like a little lull between, like middle of December to like first week of January.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I, so I was captain of, like multiple teams this season, and between captaining multiple teams and going to nationals, I feel like I was stretched very thin. So I'm just going to captain one team next season and I am happy about that. Yeah. So, yeah.

[A]

Are you gonna play two levels like you did? Because previously you were playing on a three team, like a level three team and a level two at two point team. Are you just gonna settle on one?

[B]

I, I mean, I, I, I should be bumped to 3.3zero.

[C]

Uhhuh.

[B]

And I think at least for this season, I will just play on 3, 0. My coach, like, really wants me to play on a 35 team. He's really like. He has like a. He has like a whole long term plan for me.

[A]

Oh, that's so good.

[B]

It's very sweet. It's very sweet. So I think maybe after winter season, I will see if there's like a 35 team that I can join. I don't think I will join the 3.5team that is, like, affiliated with my 3.0team because I wouldn't get any playing time if I join that team. So there's no, like, real point in joining a 3.5team if you're not gonna play. So I have to find a little, like, a more chill 35 team.

[A]

I think this playing time thing, I finally understand. I didn't understand until really this club recruiting process that I went through with Ava. Because there are parents who just want to focus on playing time alone, and then there are other parents who really want to focus on, like, elite squads for their kids. But if you do put your kid on an elite squad, but they're not elite or at the same level as the rest of the kids on the elite squad, then they're not getting the same playing time. Um, Ava actually said to me she felt like, okay, she joined a much higher level club this year. And she was like, I don't think I'm ready. Like, I think I need to get caught up. She feels like she doesn't know the rotations as well. And so I think it was a relief to her. They played their first tournament last weekend and I. God bless technology because I was out at TED in Atlanta and I got to watch all of the games streamed because some very dedicated parent was streaming it in in the Facebook group. He, like, just planted his camera on a corner and streamed it all.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, one of. One of the folks on your tennis team could totally do this for y' all some at some point. So all the husbands can watch if they want. Yeah, I was able to kind of catch it.

[B]

They would want to do, you know.

[A]

Like, Rob is a big supporter of your team, so.

[B]

Rob is a big supporter of my team. Rob came to support my team. It was very sweet. I think even, like, Rob was like, whoa, I was not expecting this. Like, the intensity of intensity.

[A]

He did say this. Anyway, the playing time thing. Yeah. So Ava, like, she. They played, I don't know, six. Six volleyball sets total at the tournament. And she didn't play at all. The first out of the six sets, and she was sort of like, I was somewhat relieved because it was kind of intense to go into that situation. First tournament, new club. And it. She kind of understood her place and that she still had room to grow. And I. I feel awesome about that. I feel like this was the right decision to put her in a place that was like, a little bit hard for her. Like, the degree of difficulty meant that she had has to catch up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So long as it doesn't, you know, discourage her, which I don't think it has, so.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Anyway, so that's all happening. So in our interview coming up, you're going to hear Mari talk about Jake. She's referring to Jake Adelstein, who is currently staying at the Hugh Hideaway. He is an author who's most probably most well known for Tokyo Vice, which was a nonfiction story of his years as a journalist covering the Yakuza, the mob of Japan. And then Tokyo Vice has turned into an HBO Max show. Sorry, Max. And then back to just HBO Max.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yes, yes, Max. Is it back?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's HBO Max. Anyway, so he is. Jake's on of the show that he gets played by Ansel Elgort. But Jake is the reason why I got to meet today's guest, Mari Yamamoto. They were both live interpreting for me when I was Japan correspondent for npr. And excellent, excellent live interpreters. And so cool. Jake actually said, like, you're gonna need a woman with a woman's voice to actually do it because you're gonna be speaking to all these, like, Japanese old ladies, and you don't want me to be the voice, you know, so. And. And he was like. And then Mari has this beautiful, like, slightly British accent from her time that she was in London. And I can't remember why she was in London. So don't get into it.

[B]

She's such a pretty voice.

[A]

Yeah, she's very calming. She's calm. She's a beautiful person, beautiful soul.

[B]

All right, well, before we get to Mari, just a reminder that our website is forever35podcast.com and I also just want to note that we are moving our newsletter over to Patreon. So if you are a Patreon subscriber, you will already be getting it. If you are not, head over to patreon.com/forever35 and you can sign up at the free tier and get our newsletter. You can shop our favorite products@shopmy us. Forever35. Follow us on Instagram @forever35podcast and you can call or text us at 781-591-0390 and email us at forever35podcastmail.com Elise do you want to introduce Mari?

[A]

I am so delighted to Mari Yamamoto was born in Japan. She grew up in London and in Tokyo. She's bilingual in Japanese and English, though we don't get to hear it in this interview. I can attest though that she is quite bilingual. She has a BA in International Relations from ICU Tokyo and studied acting at the Lee Strasberg Institute and Film Institute in New York for two years. She was a member of the BATS at the Flea Theater in Tribeca, New York. I had no idea that she was. She's performed in various Off Off Broadway shows and now works internationally, appearing in films made in the U.S. greece, Singapore, Japan and the Czech Republic. She is known for her roles in Apple TV's Pachinko Legacy of Monsters. She helped write Tokyo Vice and is starring in an upcoming movie called Rental Family.

[B]

I enjoyed Rental Family. Just want to state that for the record.

[A]

Yes, Dory describes it as poignant. We will say no more.

[B]

Say no more. I know. You know when I was like putting together some questions about the movie, there's like, it's one of those movies that is a little bit hard to talk about without spoilers.

[A]

Yeah, you can hear Amari sort of grappling with that too. Yeah.

[B]

Even like stuff that feels like it's at the beginning sort of feels like a spoiler because. So I was really trying to like come up with stuff that would be about the movie but also not really reveal too much about the movie. So anyway, I recommend the movie and we are going to take a short break and we will be right back with Marijuana.

[A]

We'll be right back.

[B]

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[A]

Mari Yamamoto, one of my old friends. Welcome to Forever 35.

[C]

Thank you for having me. Hi.

[A]

Hi. Hi. Hello. Well, we start all of our interviews with the same question and I'd love to hear your take on this. What are you doing lately that you would consider self care?

[C]

Whoa. That's problematic. That nothing comes to mind. No. Wow. Being less apologetic about everything. Which is sort of very Japanese of me.

[A]

Right.

[C]

When you catch yourself, you're like actively rewiring, even if it's not just apologizing. If you're just catching these like little habits, I think you're rewiring. So I think it's self care in the long run. So perhaps that's my answer. Yeah.

[A]

Is. Is there a time recently where you've noticed you actually did catch yourself.

[C]

Sort of apologize? You know, it's just so funny because in Japanese culture everything is like starts with an apology.

[A]

Yes. Sumi masin is the only thing I can speak in Japanese to this day.

[C]

You enter a room with an apology. Do you know what I mean? You lead with an apology. I think people find it really strange. Like, you know, I would be doing interviews and I would have to go to the like, restroom and I'd be like, I'm so sorry. And everybody would be like, why are you apologizing? You go. I would ask permission and I would get strange looks and I would be like, yeah, this is so interesting that I'm still doing this. So, yeah, just so listeners.

[A]

And so that Dory knows. We started bopping around together in Japan ten years ago now. So I think when I was pregnant with Isabelle. Yeah, you still remember me pregnant with Isabel, my middle daughter. What do you remember about that time? Because I was thinking like, you were my guide to Tokyo. I felt like I couldn't really understand or explore the city without people like you, without Jake. So Dora, Mari was a writer at the time. She was kind of doing some part time journalism. She was doing. She was writing. You had already started acting, right?

[C]

Yeah, I was acting and we were. Jake and I were writing for the Daily Beast. So. Yes, yes, it was an exciting time, I think, you know, Jake and I were covering all these different stories running around town. There were a lot of protests in front of the diet and things like that. How like my, you know, Daily Beast stint started. And then, you know, we would have different journalists, like you like come in and like cover different stories. So then we would like, you know, go along and you know, I think the first story we covered together, I think it was the single mothers or like child poverty in Japan maybe. I think that was.

[A]

Yes, that's right. It's actually somewhat related to rental family because I did a lot of stories about like society.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And how society was getting lonely, lonelier.

[C]

I feel like I was. I lived in New York for a period of time and then I came back and then got back into journalism. And I felt like I was rediscovering Japan in so many different, you know, I had a different lens on it. So it just. I saw the country so differently, like after I started writing. But it was a really fun time. I remember. Yeah, I just remember me with my, you know, sun umbrella that you would always make fun of me for. And we just like run downtown. It's covering stories in the middle of summer.

[A]

Dory, you and Mari would just be two peas in a pot because she goes nowhere without a parasol.

[B]

Yeah, I love that. I love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, literally. I think you sent me. Or maybe I sent you this meme of like. Like a white girl being like. To an Asian girl, why are you hiding? And the Asian girl is like, why are you aging? You know, it was like my constant, you know, crusade to try to get at least to avoid the sun.

[A]

But she would just like, man, I'm all about, like, fry crispiness. Just kidding. I mean, I'm much better about it now. I actually did change. I think in Asia.

[C]

I have converted you finally. Yes. Good job, Dory. Thank you.

[B]

Now I want to ask you all these questions about sun protection, right?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Can we just take a little detour and ask Mari what you're doing for sun protection and what you're, like, tried and true skin care. All stars are.

[C]

Well, my. You know, rule number one. Don't go anywhere without your sunbrella. Right. Truly. Even if people look at you strange, like, I just think I. I know you wish you had one. You know, it's. It's. It's. It's actually cooler in.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

The dead of summer under, like, a little shade that you bring along. So life hack. And it's also, like, for the rain as well. So you're always prepared for any kind of weather. So there.

[B]

So true. Yeah.

[C]

And sunscreen every day for sure. And skincare. I swear by this whole, like, I have a skin therapist in Japan who I only get to see when I go back to Japan, which is the. Which is why I go back so often. But she. She does my facials. And also she has this, like, line of skincare. It's not, like, publicly available, I think, so that's the only downside of it. But if you contact me, I will let you know. I will hook you up. But I've been using it for 10 years, and it's been. It's been really good. I. I really like it. It's all, like, organic, and I have really sensitive skin. So I try to be really mindful of what I put on my body face. I definitely do, like, a sheet mask on the plane. Like, all the things.

[A]

Is your sunscreen Japanese or Korean?

[C]

It's Japanese. I haven't got into the. I'm so afraid to, like, change my routine because, like, on set, sometimes, like, people will use different things and I'll break out. So I really like to, you know, stick to my own. Like, I will use, like, the sunscreen that I always, like, have on my face. Even on set. I'll ask them to put that on first. As sort of like a shield, because it's sort of like generating collagen as well. Is a really good. It gives you, like, a nice sheen.

[A]

Well, Mari, you have been writing for television. You have been acting in television and in movies, and now you have this big movie out now. I think by the time this airs, Rental Family will be out. So do you want to set it up for us a little bit?

[C]

Well, Rental Family is a film about this American actor who is sort of hitting a wall with his career playing sort of all these reenactment shows. And he's kind of looking for meaning in his life when he gets pulled into this business called a rental family business, which essentially clients can rent people out for different purposes. You know, you act. The actors who are hired by the company, they will act as anything you would like them to be. Your mother, your dad, dad, your grandma. They will bring anybody who fits the profile and, you know, role play with you, essentially. And so inadvertently, he finds a role of a lifetime in a way that in. In doing this job, he finds so much meaning and actual connection, because in the end, what he was looking for all along was connection and a place to belong. And he finally finds belonging in Japan, of all places, through this job. So that's kind of the story of the movie, and you meet amazing people and gorgeous scenery all through the film. And I hope that it makes people feel like they've been on a trip in Japan for the few hours they get to watch this.

[B]

I wanted to ask you about your character.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can you tell our listeners a little bit about her in particular and kind of what her role in the film is? And then I have some specific questions about her because she's. She's fascinating.

[C]

So my character, Aiko, is an employee of the rental family business, and she. I like to call her the heart of the operation because she's actually the person who cares the most about her clients, and she really goes the extra mile for everybody who comes to them.

[A]

So when you say employee, do you mean like an agent? Like she's pairing people up?

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

She also does that because she's sort of number two in the company. So she is sort of taking the call and assigning people to, you know, assigning actors that they hire to clients. But at the same time, she is like a top performer. So she goes out and actually role plays with the clients herself. So we see in the film that one of their most popular service is the apology service, which is a real thing and a very popular thing in Japan. Where you ask somebody to take on your own apology for your own mistake so that you don't have to take the backlash of it, I guess. And what happens a lot is that a man who is cheating on his wife will be found out and then subsequently have to apologize. So he will bring rental family actor as his mistress to perform the apology so that his actual mistress won't have to be subjected to that. Every man's dream. And she is put into these, like, really degrading situations. And it was kind of interesting trying to figure out how to. How does she justify that, because she really believes in this business, you know, but it was. It made sense to me when I thought, okay, so this is the most popular service. So in order to keep the business going, like, they need to take these apology cases. And if she takes one for the team, then she. They can keep the business going, and she can help the people who really need it. She can service the people who are really lonely. Because I was like, she's such a strong person. She has, like, all these, you know, values. And why is she allowing that to happen? Sure. So, you know, there's, like, a whole backstory to it.

[B]

Well, that actually was kind of what I'm. My questions is, like, what do you think your character's backstory is? Like, how did she end up here? What's her story?

[C]

Right. So Stephen and Hikari, the screenwriters, and they had so many iterations of the script, and they thought about every little thing. So whatever question you had, they, you know, it was so funny because when I asked Hikari something, she was like, oh, yeah, when she was 7, you know, that's how she started.

[A]

Oh, she had a whole, like, bible for this character. All the characters, I guess.

[B]

That's amazing.

[C]

Yeah. She's also really collaborative. Like, she really listened to all of us whenever we had ideas. But actually, a lot of it was in the script, and we shot all of it. And ultimately, like, you know, some of them didn't make it into the final product of the movie. But what's interesting is that, you know, we. Takehiro Hira, he plays Shinji, my boss, we all had all these, you know, backstories that we actually shot. So it felt like part of our, like, memory as humans and actors. Right. And it's so cool. Yeah. So it just really became an undercurrent in everything that we did all of these, like, big, like, things that might not be in the film, but it is so present because we played it. We played it as part of our, like, Memories. So that was really cool. And yeah, she actually had a scene where she talks about why, you know, how she used to be an actor, like, for real, and something happened to her so she could no longer stay in the industry and she had to leave. And she blames herself for that incident. And that's when she, you know, met Shinji and was recruited to work for rental family. And I, I think I put it together that, you know, it was an interesting question of, like, why does she care so much about, you know, helping people? You know, and it made sense when I thought, oh, when something happened to her, nobody was there for her. So she feels the need to be there for somebody who needs somebody.

[A]

Because it's kind of a transference almost.

[C]

Yeah, it's a transference. And also she finds meaning and healing a little bit through helping other people.

[B]

Right.

[C]

We think it's our fault when something happens. So there's a little bit of self punishment in. By taking on these apology jobs. She's. She's. She's taking. Taking on the shame of other people. There's some sort of, like, deep psychological self, self punishment that's allowing herself to be in these situations.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And then until Philip, you know, it. I don't want it to be like a savior thing at all. But it's just a function of, like, Philip's character that he's. And Brendan is just like that too, where he just holds space.

[A]

Philip, played by Brendan Fraser, you got to work with Encino Man.

[C]

He's incredible. Yes. But he's just this person who comes in and into, like, the space and you instantly trust him and you just feel like you're swimming in, like, a big ocean, which is him. You know, he's just so wonderful and he's like that. And the character is also like that in that they never judge and they hold space for you to be whatever you need to be, which he does for all of his clients. And. And in a way, he does that for my character and also gives me permission to, you know, when you let something go because you normalize it, even if you kind of know it's not okay, but you just justify it somehow. Of course, until somebody points it out, being like, wait, that's not okay. Like, no, that's wrong. And then you realize what you've been doing to yourself. So there's a scene where that happens. And I think that was huge for me playing that. It was just like everything came up of, like, what she's been repressing, like, suppressing the whole time.

[B]

So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back. Well everybody, the holiday season is almost upon us and Masterclass is a great gift for the person who has everything, the person who wants some change in their life, or the person who wants to become a better cook, writer, entrepreneur or artist like they've always wanted. That's the gift of Masterclass. With Masterclass, your loved ones can learn from the best to become their best. Masterclass is the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over 200 of the world's best. That's why Wirecutter calls it, quote, an invaluable gift. So gift Unlimited Learning Learn from any Masterclass instructor anywhere on a smartphone, computer, smart TV or even an audio mode. Help them build life changing habits with New York Times best selling author James Clear, improve their physical and mental well being with gut and brain health experts, and build stronger relationships with renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel. I still use nuggets of wisdom that I learned in my classes with Shonda Rhimes about TV writing, not to mention my class on poker with Daniel Negrano. They were both amazing and the classes really make a difference. Three in four surveyed members feel inspired every time they watch Masterclass Plus. Every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's no real risk. Right now. Forever 35 listeners get an additional 15 off any annual [e-mail] Forever 35 that's 15% [e-mail] Forever 35 masterclass.com Forever 35 I am really feeling that the busy season has started. I don't know about you Elise. Yes, but I think what's really important is that we need to remember to put a little bit of ourselves first too. And we can do that with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton iq, it's Peloton's most elevated equipment with real time guidance and endless ways to move alone or with your favorite instructors. It's cross training reimagined with features designed to help you reach your goals effortlessly and personally. I know that having a plan helps me stay motivated. Knowing that I have a certain class on a certain day, even at a certain time, helps me move forward with my fitness goals even if I don't really want to show up on that certain day or certain time.

[A]

I get it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

I'm so curious because you were an actor playing an actor, right? Yeah, acting. So it was like a real performance inside a performance. Like a rushing Russian nesting doll situation or an Inception situation. Situation of acting. What was that like for you?

[C]

Oh, an actor playing an actor. Well, I think. Oh, well, like now, now I'm thinking about it, I'm like getting a bit confused. But I think because you were.

[A]

Because you. No, I just mean you, Mari. You're an actor, right? And then you were also having to play a performer who was performing. And so I'm just curious kind of what that was like and whether it was tricky or it was just, just the character and you just embodied it and did it.

[C]

I think it is the character. And also, you know, the, the roles that she's playing are people who mean something to the client. You know, it's not, it's. It's. It's a story. It's like you get a script every client, you know, you get a really specific client of. You get a really specific script of what, you know, the client wants you to be. So it's the same as like having a script as an actor and preparing. I'm like going into it and I think my character takes it really seriously. So she really does like the whole character building before she goes to meet a client. And you only see the apology scenes really in Aiko's track. But there was a scene I really loved where she's dancing with an older tiny lady in the beginning. And that obviously has a backstory of the older lady wanting to be a Japanese girl group from the 70s. Her whole life she wanted to be like them, but she never had the courage to be like, oh, I'm gonna, you know, pretend. So she finally works up the courage to hire me to be the, you know, other girl, the girl in the girl group. So one of their really famous songs. And we hire the other actors as like fans. And so, you know, you just really believe and like go into like every single one of them. So it wasn't strange for me. Strangely.

[A]

Yeah, I took one of these jobs for one of my first reporting Jobs in Korea, because you can. There's rental agencies in Korea where you can rent people.

[C]

What were you again?

[A]

I was a fake wedding guest. Oh, that's right. I mean, I was a real wedding guest at a wedding, but I didn't know the bride.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And the reason why she needed to hire a bunch of guests is because she had told her fiance that she had a big family and she came from lots of friends and all these things, and she didn't. And they had this big wedding, and so he would obviously have a big size. Right. And then hers, she didn't. And so she hired all these actors. And I just went with this agency. Right. Because it was for reporting.

[C]

I remember that.

[A]

But I went with this girl who is commonly a wedding guest or sometimes a bridesmaid. And she was like, you wouldn't believe how many times I have played a fake bridesmaid.

[B]

Wow. You know, it's funny. I saw someone post on Facebook recently that she was a bridesmaid for hire. I was like, is this a scam or is this now just like something that in. In the. In the U.S. yeah. Like, is. Is this something people are doing now? I don't know.

[A]

What do you think all of this says about, like, where we are as a society or as societies and. And loneliness? I remember, like, 10 years ago when these rental agencies were of fascination to me. They were fascinating to me because they were in these more collective societies of Japan and Korea, where saving face and basically showing that your family, that you had a big family mattered, or showing your family that you were straight and not gay mattered. And so you would have, like, fake, you know, a fake heterosexual relationship. And a lot of it was sort of saving face for family. But now I feel like everywhere, globally, we face this loneliness crisis, but a need to perform. Right. Like, on our digital platforms and everything. So what do you feel like? Where do you feel like we're at? You know? And do you think rental families or rental agencies are going to be just unique to Japan and Korea or Hong Kong or wherever else they are?

[C]

I've been thinking a lot about this, and I feel like the reason, you know, this notion of somebody who saw the film came up to me and said, I despise this service, but I love the film. And I was like, oh, interesting. You know, he was an American man. And I said to him, I would. I understand the initial sort of like, reaction to the perhaps superficiality of it. It. But please consider that. Isn't it better to have somebody, something that people can Turn to. Instead of them falling through the cracks of loneliness. And you know, it was like a whole conversation, right?

[A]

And if we're going to live in an economy or in a system that sort of fragments us and divides us for or makes us compete against each other for our livelihoods, like to put food on the table, like why stop, why stop somebody from acting in order to make a living? In order to help like satisfy somebody else's social. Yeah, social needs, right.

[C]

Side note, a lot of actors are out of work. It's a hard, hard profession. So, you know, and in a way you get so much satisfaction out of helping somebody through what you're good at, right? As an actor, you go and, you know, act as somebody's sibling. Whatever it is that they're asking of you. You get to do that. And then it's. I think it's so meaningful for the provider as well. It's not like they don't get anything out of it. It's like, I think it speaks to how even if the beginning of an interaction is transactional, it doesn't mean that like real things, real connection can't happen. Do you know what I mean? Like, I read this script like a month after my dad died and there's so many themes of like fatherhood in this film, right? And I was like in the pits of despair, like as you can imagine. But when I read this, I thought it really felt like almost like a sign from my dad being like, you go out there because of course you can't replace a parent. But if you have the courage to step out, you might be able to find care and connection and compassion and the kind of gentleness and love that your parents gave you. It's not like you can't find that anymore. So it gave me hope reading this script. And that's really the reason I wanted to do it. I think that's what the film is about. But in terms of like loneliness crisis, I think specific to Japan, I'm not so knowledgeable on Korean culture. I know there are like a lot of like similarities and it's a really, it can be a really difficult place, especially for women. I do know that. But I think the, the culture of the people rave about being so considerate and thoughtful and kind and polite as Japanese people. It is a double edged sword of like, you're so sensitive to other people, other people's needs, what people are thinking, what will people think, what will people, you know, say? So you're unable to express, express your own needs even to the people who you're close to because you worry about them, you know, and, and that comes. That results in the kind of isolation in the end, which is like, really heartbreaking if you think about it. Right. Because all we want to do actually is to be together and like, connect. But we don't ask for it. We don't know how to ask for it. And I think because, you know, we don't have therapists and we don't have really a general understanding. The general society doesn't really understand mental health problems. It's so stigmatized. So where do people turn to. Right. Services like this. So I think that's why this kind of solution is unique to Japan and perhaps Korea. I'm not, you know, I don't want to speak for Korean society, but I assume it's sort of like, has to do with like the pressures of. Yeah. Keeping up appearances and so on. So what's your take on that, Elise?

[A]

I'm just hearing an analog because you're saying that, you know, in these more collective societies, people are so sensitive about how they're judged. Right, because you care what other people think and you've learned to care, but about what other people think. But all of us, especially young people who are growing up on screens and performing on screens all the time, are learning to be very self conscious, but also conscious of how they are seen and how they are judged. And in the same way, it kind of fuels a loneliness. Right. And an isolation if you're not careful.

[C]

That's the irony of social media, right. We're just such social animals and we're just curious what other people are doing. So we're just like looking through our little windows, like always caring about what other people are doing, what they're thinking. And then in the end, the motive is to connect, but then it's just like bringing up further and further apart. So, yeah, I, I'm hoping a film like this, like, maybe the Service is controversial, but it's just like it's. If you boil it down, it's quite simple. If you reach out, like other people also want that, that, like, don't stop reaching out is. I think, you know what we're trying to say, whatever form it is, like if the intention is, you know, it's. It's with goodwill, then you will find that connection you're looking for with what we're trying to say.

[B]

I think, well, before we let you go, first of all, you might be the only person who has successfully pivoted from being a journalist to being an actor. Because I feel like usually when people pivot away from journalism, it's to like a safer profession. And you have become a successful actor. So kudos to you. But I'm also wondering, you know, how are you surviving in the industry right now? How is it going for you?

[C]

Oh, oh, interesting. I think that's so funny though. Like, I went to like a riskier career. That's so true. Actually. They're so supportive. Like, I'm. I think I got really lucky and I think that's what allowed me to like, take that leap. Because they were so.

[A]

Your parents, they were awesome.

[C]

They saw like me suffering jobs and not come home and stuff. So they were just like, you do what you love. And I got really lucky with that. But I think being a multi hyphenate is so key these days. That's what I keep hearing everywhere. So act like. I think it's confusing that I'm like a journalist and I write and I'm, I'm also an actor. But for me there's like an absolute through line. I always say journalism is like, you know, the pursuit of the truth, right? You're finding facts and then you're building a story from the facts. So for me, acting is the same in that, like, you're pursuing the truth of a character. You're trying to figure out, like, what this is, like, what the reality and the truth is for that character, and you're building that. So there's absolutely a through line for me in everything I do. And, and in terms of, I'm so grateful that I can transfer those skills to like, writing scripts. And, you know, if you're generating material, then you're more likely to have like, opportunities. Right? So I think I'm focusing a lot on, you know, writing my scripts. I'm writing one with Jake. I have one that I'm trying to like, you know, get off the ground somehow. And, and if you're grinding, it's what my dad always used to say, if, if you're working hard, someone's gonna notice. You know, someone's gonna.

[A]

I hope so.

[C]

And I think it's like, turned out true for me every time. I just kind of, you know, the industry is slow, everybody says, so if there's nothing happening, then like, try to make something right. So always being a self generator is, is the key. I think that's how I'm surviving. I think.

[A]

Well, Mari Yamamoto, you are brilliant. I love you. Please let everybody know how to find you. Are you hanging out mostly on Instagram these days or where do you want folks to find you?

[C]

I am occasionally on Instagram. Come find me. Mostly talking about the film these days, but if you have Apple tv, I am on Monarch Legacy of Monsters. It is the second season is coming out next year soon, so please tune in for that if you haven't watched season one. It also stars my co star of Rental Family, Takehiro Hira. He's incredible. We play mother and son in TV show and then he plays my boss in the movie.

[A]

What an age range.

[C]

Range. I know. I can't wait to see what we do next. Next, please go check that out. And Rental. Rental Family comes out in theaters in November 21st everywhere. So please go watch it.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

Thanks, Mari.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Well, she was delightful and so down to earth and, like, cool. And I also loved that, you know, she was doing a bunch of press today for her movie. Just going from interview to interview to interview. When she logged on, she must have just seen, like, okay. Doing a podcast interview, but didn't know that you were the host. And she was so, like, visibly delighted when she saw you. So that was very sweet.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I love how glam she was too. Like, we were just rolling in as we typically do, and they were like, touching her up. Mari looks perfect. Yeah, perfect.

[B]

They were like, touching her up before the interview and we were like, you don't really need to do that.

[A]

All right, intentions.

[B]

How did ankle weights go?

[A]

Oh, my. My ankle strengthening stuff.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They didn't. I. I was. I was gone from Ava too much. And so.

[B]

That's right. You were amazing.

[A]

I haven't done it. Yeah, I haven't done it with her. I don't think she's been that great at it. And I was like, have you been doing all your ankle exercises? And she was like, is the PT really going to be able to tell? And I'm like, yes. Yes, she is going to be able to tell. Like, you need to do that. What are we spending this money for?

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But.

[A]

This week. This week I'm just gonna put.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I know my friend Pamela who listens to this podcast is gonna make fun of me because I have to re. Re up this intention so much. But this week I'm going to put exercising three to five times a week on. As. In. As in as my intention, because I just haven't. Like, I've just been going, going, going and driving a lot, and I'm just putting it down and making it happen.

[B]

Great. I can't spell it.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

I also Well, I was gonna do like conditioning last week and I. It just didn't happen. So I should, I should probably do that again this week.

[A]

Okay, we are re racking them.

[B]

We're reintending.

[A]

Yes, yes. Sometimes when the intention doesn't actually work out, you gotta just reintention.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know. I was gonna do some over the weekend, although. Oh, you know what I did do though? And I texted you about this. I only did this once, but I was proud of myself like one night after Henry gone to bed. You know, like by the time Henry goes to bed, I know he's only one child, but like I'm drained. It's like, it's like a lot. So I was just like sitting on the couch. I was scrolling TikTok and was just kind of like zoning out. And then I was like, I should do like a 30 minute like relaxing yoga class instead of just sitting here on the couch scrolling my phone.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I got up and I went to my office and I turned on the peloton and I did a 30 minute Yin class with one of my faves, Aditi. And I did feel so much better afterwards and I texted Elise because I needed positive feedback. She was like, yes. Yeah, you were so happy for me. And I was like, that was how I feel.

[A]

Yes, yes. But I also asked you how you felt and Dory said that she felt like she could pitch a complete game.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[A]

Just like Yamamoto son. Yeah, just like Yoshi Yamamoto.

[B]

I was like, okay, this, this flex there. He might be onto something with this flexibility thing, wouldn't you know? Did you see? I also, I meant to text this, text this to you and I think I was like, oh, she's a Ted. But there, there was like a photo going around of Djokovic doing splits. Did you see this?

[A]

No, but I believe it. That man is so flexible and he credits it.

[B]

He also, he also. And you know, he's 38, so he is also like really leaning in to the flexibility thing. I'll have to find it and send it to you. But yeah, he's doing a full split. Like, like legs on the floor. I was looking for.

[A]

Good for him. God bless him. God bless him.

[C]

Awesome.

[B]

All right, everybody, I hope that you're stretching in.

[A]

Yes, keep stretching.

[B]

And just a reminder that Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Dori Shafrier and Elise Hu and produced and edited by Sam Hunio. Sammy Reed is our project manager and our network partner is Acast. We'll talk to you soon. Thanks.

[A]

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