Forever35: Mini-Ep 464 — Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze?

Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: October 8, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid and engaging mini-episode, Doree and Elise tackle everyday questions about self-care and adulting: Do night creams really make you look well-rested? Is quitting coffee worth the misery? Can cleaning out your closet spark real joy—and, honestly, what even is a gratitude practice? The hosts answer listener questions, read feedback and advice from the Forever35 community, and share stories about social burnout, career pivots, setting boundaries at work, and building community during tough times. As always, their discussion is infused with self-awareness, wit, and a dash of gentle realism about modern womanhood.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Magic of Community: Listener Wisdom (01:21–02:29)

• Doree and Elise highlight the unique knowledge and community-building of their listenership.
  • “There’s just always, like, some random esoteric knowledge that our listeners have. So we appreciate you. We appreciate your expertise in the face of our non-expertise.” – Doree (02:17)
• They reminisce about fun, unexpected listener contributions (e.g., tutu cleaning advice).

2. Social Energy, Burnout & Self-Care (02:29–09:49)

• Spontaneous NYC-Style Social Nights in LA:
  • Elise recounts a rare, magical night that included a Lucinda Williams show, running into friends unexpectedly, and an afterparty for Jade Chang’s book launch.
  • “In LA...those of us that are in certain neighborhoods are pretty married and connected to our neighborhoods and try not to leave them too much.” – Elise (02:57)
  • Her friend Alex tells her, “I can see how it would be very exhausting to be your partner and have to do it every night.” (06:19)
• Pacing & Intervals in Social Life:
  • Elise describes her cycle of ‘intervals’—going hard socially, then needing downtime.
  • Doree shares her own shift from a nightly-out-in-NYC lifestyle to a more selective, low-battery social life in LA, choosing events and friends more carefully.
  • “My social battery is low these days… I just feel like I’m just showing up for the people that I’m close with...” – Doree (07:47)
• Cooking Provides Social Sanctuary:
  • Doree realized she enjoyed her annual Hanukkah "Latke Fest" parties partly because cooking in the kitchen provided a helpful buffer from intense socializing. (09:31–09:49)
  • “I did not have to be out in…doing too much engaging. And this did not dawn on me until much later.” – Doree (09:33)

3. Listener Voicemail: Government Shutdown & Gratitude Practice (10:27–14:44)

• Powerful Listener Message (Erica, Atlanta, furloughed CDC worker):
  • Erica shares gratitude for the Forever35 public sector Signal group and the sense of community during the government shutdown.
  • “CDCers in particular are really tired and traumatized and demoralized, especially with the compounding effects of the pandemic... We took an oath to uphold the Constitution, and it’s becoming harder and harder to live out my values and uphold that oath...” – Erica (11:29–12:27)
• Hosts' Response:
  • Elise delivers a heartfelt acknowledgment of federal workers, stressing the power of connectedness and mutual support.
  • “Federal workers out there, know that you are on our hearts and minds and give yourselves a lot of grace. ...It is really important that you stay in communication with your communities about what's going on and what you're fearing and what you're feeling.” – Elise (12:29–14:00)
  • Doree echoes the importance of community and empathy.

4. Career Pivots, Entrepreneurship & Media Work (19:05–24:35)

• Listener Question:
  • Asks Doree about teaching or monetizing expertise, and Elise about starting a production company.
• Doree on Entrepreneurship:
  • Doree confesses that the “marketing of yourself” is challenging for her:
    • “If someone was like, ‘Here, do you want to do a course? Great, I will do all the promotion for it…and get you customers,’... I’d be like, ‘Amazing, I’ll do the content.’ But it’s the other stuff that I find really hard and doesn’t come naturally to me.” (20:20)
• Elise on Running a Production Company:
  • Describes co-founding a business, the importance of having a partner with complementary skills, their B2B podcasting work, and steep learning curves regarding finances and business structure.
  • “In businesses, you have to have the minder and the finder and the grinder. ...I am kind of the finder...but I’m not doing the minding and grinding…” (21:23)
  • She reflects with Texas wisdom: “Is the juice worth the squeeze?” (22:53)
  • Discusses the non-linear nature of careers and possible changes ahead.
• Essay Coaching as a Pivot:
  • Doree is reminded that coaching for private college admissions is lucrative and recalls having done essay tutoring after college.
  • Elise points out, “I don’t think our careers are linear. I think our careers kind of zigzag. ...Everything old can be new again.” (24:28–24:35)

5. Burnout, Boundaries at Work, and Working Motherhood (25:06–29:23)

• Boundaries in Consulting and Ad Work:
  • A listener texts in to say she works in advertising and consulting, and rarely works outside 9–5—proof that strong boundaries are possible in such industries.
  • “Love that. That’s amazing. You sound like a boundary queen.” – Doree (25:43)
• Listener Voicemail: Reframing Burnout for Parents:
  • Another listener encourages a ‘reframing’ for working parents: acceptance that you cannot give 100% to everything post-kids, and that it’s okay to prioritize family and set stricter work boundaries.
  • “You’re going to be able to give 80% to your partner and 70% to work…Quiet quit...Do your job, do it well, turn it off and...focus on those babies...” (26:07–27:44)
  • Notes how this dynamic contributes to the uneven burden on women in the workforce.
• Host Reflections:
  • Elise and Doree agree that strong relationships with managers can help negotiate better work-life balance.

6. Small Joys & Organizational Hacks (33:08–37:02)

• Executive Functioning Tip:
  • A listener finds success using bag tags (suggested on a previous episode) to streamline her daughter’s dance gear prep—promoting independence and reducing stress for parents.
  • “Now she's doing everything independently and isn't forgetting everything. So thank you so much.” – Listener (33:08–34:12)
  • Elise shares her “one rescue per school year” rule for forgotten items.
• Jeans Recommendation Chatter
  • Doree fields multiple requests for her Amazon stretchy barrel-leg jeans, discusses sizing and fit specifics.
  • “If you are tall, these are not for you. But if you are 5'2" to 5'6", these are probably great for you. ...They run a little small in the waist...So I would size up if you don't have like a small waist.” – Doree (36:25–37:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There’s just always, like, some random esoteric knowledge that our listeners have. So we appreciate you. We appreciate your expertise in the face of our non-expertise.” — Doree (02:17)
• “I can see how it would be very exhausting to be your partner and have to do it every night.” — Alex (Elise’s friend), relayed by Elise (06:19)
• “My social battery is low these days and I just feel like I’m just showing up for the people that I’m close with… sometimes means I don’t go out very much.” — Doree (07:47)
• “Give yourselves a lot of grace. We know you are public servants and are really the backbone of this country in so many ways...” — Elise, responding to the CDC listener (12:29)
• “I am kind of the finder....but I’m not doing the minding and grinding…” — Elise on partnership and entrepreneurship (21:23)
• “Love that. That’s amazing. You sound like a boundary queen.” — Doree, on a listener who sticks to 9–5 (25:43)
• “Quiet quit...Do your job, do it well, turn it off and...focus on those babies...Give yourself permission to not give 100% to work. Give yourself permission to give 80% and do just as well… You’ll find that people respect your boundaries...” — Listener voicemail (26:07–27:44)
• “If you are tall, these are not for you. But if you are 5'2" to 5'6", these are probably great for you.” — Doree, about the stretchy jeans (36:25)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:21–02:29: Community Q&A, expert listeners
• 02:29–09:49: Social schedules, burnout, self-care & coping
• 10:27–14:44: Federal worker's voicemail on shutdown & gratitude; hosts’ response
• 19:05–24:35: Listener question on entrepreneurship; Doree & Elise on career pivots
• 25:06–29:23: Burnout & redefining work-life balance, especially for working parents
• 33:08–37:02: Organizational hacks for kids, jeans recommendation, and wrap-up

Episode Tone

Warm, humorous, open-hearted, and honest—a mix of practical self-care, tough truths, compassionate advice, and good old best friend energy.

For More

• Voicemail/Text: 781-591-0390
• Email: forever35podcastmail.com
• Instagram: @forever35podcast
• Newsletter: forever35podcast.com/newsletter

This summary highlights the substance and spirit of the episode—an ode to adaptability, support, and gentle self-care as we zigzag through modern life.