Forever35 – Mini-Ep 465: Burnout Stories
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: October 15, 2025
Theme: Listener stories and advice about burnout, work-life boundaries, and finding meaning outside of work
Episode Overview
This mini-episode of Forever35 is devoted to listeners’ stories and strategies for dealing with burnout, especially for working parents and those juggling demanding jobs. Doree and Elise share listener emails and voicemails about navigating burnout, setting boundaries at work, redefining personal worth outside of productivity, and handling “hobbies” that turn into extra work. The episode is candid, supportive, and deeply relatable for anyone feeling overwhelmed by work, parenting, or modern productivity culture.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Weekend Updates & LA Life
- Casual catch-up: Elise and Doree chat about their weekends, LA neighborhoods, and how travel across town feels like a big deal due to Los Angeles traffic.
- Elise's soccer tickets: Elise shares the comical saga of finally using her Angel City season soccer tickets.
- [03:37] Elise: “I think these are our last ticket. This is our last ticket set for Sunday’s game. And I can actually go, and I’m going to try and get two, if not three of the girls to go and actually use these tickets that I purchased for the full season.”
- Getting outside your “radius”:
- Doree (06:08): “I feel like you are better than most people about getting outside your radius.”
2. Setting the Stage: Burnout Takes Center Stage
- The theme emerged after an influx of emails and messages from listeners about burnout, especially in parenting and demanding jobs.
- Doree (08:20): “There’s a lot about burnout, a lot of really interesting perspectives and we are still taking your thoughts.”
Listener Stories & Reflections on Burnout
3. Quiet Quitting & Identity Beyond Career
- Listener message (14:07): Shares embracing “quiet quitting”—doing what’s required, not deriving identity solely from work. Interior designer finds creativity outside of job and prioritizes family and resetting nervous system.
- Quote (14:07): “I show up, do my work, go home, not asking for more work… my low key, low stress job is providing me the income and brain space to get my creative outlet outside the office.”
- Elise’s Reflection on Byung Chul Han:
- Elise (14:11): “It’s kind of the anti Calvinist work ethic… you really can’t live life unless you are doing nothing and you’re just allowing for life to surprise you. I aspire to live a Byung Chul Han life; the only thing that holds me back are my bills.”
4. Boundary Setting as a Team, Not Just Individually
- Caller voicemail (17:18):
- Emphasizes you can’t heal from burnout if you’re still “on fire.” Urges true disengagement—not a “vacation” where you’re still working for your family, but genuine time away from all responsibilities.
- Advocates making work boundaries a team effort (e.g., no Slacks after 5pm for everyone), not an individual burden.
- Quote (18:19): “You cannot heal your burnout… if you are still on fire. If you are still smoldering… you have to take a break. You have to step away.”
- Quote (19:13): “It is a collective effort. Don’t just put it on you to maintain this boundary. Engage your boss.”
- Hosts agree.
- Elise (20:11): “Great advice... work with the boss to set boundaries that apply across the board, not just for you.”
5. Everyday Steps to Relief and Letting Some Things Go
- Listener email (20:35): Practical tips—turning off work notifications after hours, handing off household management tasks (like monthly dinner planning) to your partner to reduce mental load.
- Values “restorative hobbies,” gives herself permission for downtime rather than over-ambitious productivity in leisure.
- Quote (22:04): “It is okay for my hobbies to be spending time with family, watching tv, napping, listening to podcasts, and stretching for a bit. That is already five things.”
6. The Inescapability of Burnout – and Facing It Head On
- Insight that burnout is cyclical; sometimes it’s dormant and then resurfaces.
- Doree (21:22): “I think burnout is just like one of those perpetual things that sometimes is flaring up for some people and sometimes is kind of dormant and then you just feel it again.”
- On guilt and limits:
- “There will always be more work… than time to do it. Something finally just clicked that I only have so many hours and I just can’t work beyond that. Even if it is on things that I enjoy working on. Things you enjoy is still work.”
7. Recommended Resource: 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman
- Elise (23:13):
- “4000 Weeks is an anti productivity book. It basically acknowledges that there will never be a point where you can conquer your to do list… And so I think this burnout conversation is addressed by a lot of those ideas.”
More Listener Strategies & Stories
8. Real-World Cases: Burnout With Young Kids + Demanding Careers
- Caller w/ 2 kids, stressful job (27:43):
- “You can do it. It’s a really rough time in life, but it will bring you out the other side so much more powerful and self-aware and self-loving. So good luck.”
- Suggests:
- Recognize it’s a difficult but temporary season
- Take real breaks for yourself (“not a family vacation”)
- Therapy to challenge internalized overwork narratives
- Set new boundaries on work hours
- Find a mentor to help you see your worth and stick to boundaries
- Be vocal about boundaries to give others permission
- Doree/Elise (32:11–32:40):
- Elise: “So many of us have learned to tie our self esteem to productivity or realizing our so-called potential. But if you’re trying to realize your potential, you can never stop…”
9. A Manager’s Perspective: How Bosses Can Help
- Caller: Agency manager (32:48):
- Encourages open communication—good managers want to help retain valued employees through role adjustment, extra headcount, or deleting unnecessary stressors.
- “As a manager, you want to protect those employees and their mental well being... If it is a company that you like... find a way to continue in a role and at a company that you like while also maintaining your mental well being.”
- Reiterates that sometimes, switching jobs won’t solve it—the grass isn’t always greener.
Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)
- “[LA] is like different subcultures in different parts of the Federation of Los Angeles.” – Elise Hu [07:26]
- “You cannot heal your burnout… if you are still on fire.” – Caller [18:19]
- “Don’t just put it on you to maintain this boundary. Engage your boss.” – Caller [19:13]
- “There will always be more work… than time to do it… Things you enjoy is still work.” – Listener email [22:04]
- “4000 Weeks is an anti productivity book. It basically acknowledges that there will never be a point where you can conquer your to do list.” – Elise Hu [23:13]
- “If you’re trying to realize your potential, then you can never stop...” – Elise Hu [32:11]
- “As a manager… protect those employees and their mental well being… the grass is not greener.” – Manager caller [33:00]
Additional Insights
- The episode’s tone is empathetic and affirming; both hosts and listeners validate how difficult this phase can be, especially with young children.
- The emphasis is on collective action and cultural change—not just individual grit or willpower.
- Listeners underscore the value of stepping away, even briefly, and giving yourself permission to rest and be ordinary.
- There’s transparency that solutions are imperfect and burnout is iterative; small steps and forgiveness for not meeting impossible productivity standards are recurring themes.
Concluding Takeaway
Most callers and writers agree: boundaries, communication, and self-compassion are essential. The hosts encourage the original listener (and all others) to keep sharing updates and thank the audience for making Forever35 a space for honest discussion about the struggles behind “self-care.”
For more burnout strategies or to share your own story, reach out to Doree & Elise at forever35podcastmail.com, text/voicemail at 781-591-0390, or follow @forever35podcast on Instagram.
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