Forever35 Mini-Episode 472: Grape Popcorn and The Hairy Questions
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Air Date: December 10, 2025
Main Theme & Purpose
This lively mini-episode is a classic Forever35 blend of humor, anecdotes, listener Q&A, and honest reflections on self-care as you age. Co-hosts Doree and Elise cover everything from bizarre party food and holiday gift minimalism to effective hair loss treatments, how to handle public speaking nerves, and what happiness looks like at midlife. Listener calls spark organic, insightful discussions about daily self-care, emotional resilience, and existential meaning—with plenty of laughs and practical takeaways.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Catching Up: Parties, Laryngitis, and Grape Popcorn
[01:25–08:34]
- Elise sounds hoarse after yelling in a family argument and shouting at a holiday party; she jokes about sounding like “former Arizona governor Jan Brewer.”
- Elise shares updates on her documentary “Windswept,” which is filming a homecoming event on the historic Christmas Tree Lane in Altadena, CA.
- Funny party food review: Elise describes a wild holiday party with foods like “grape popcorn in liquid nitrogen,” which she calls “not delicious.” She complains about oyster mushrooms with too much batter, declaring:
“No to popcorn on dry ice.” — Elise [08:16]
Doree chimes in:
“I’d like to have a word with the caterer.” — Doree [08:20]
2. Holiday Season Vibes: Minimalism, Depop Hauls, and the End of the Year
[08:35–12:47]
- Doree shares her post-travel recovery routine, including tennis and fighting jet lag.
- Elise is determined to “right size” the holidays: limiting gifts, focusing on meaningful presents, and actively coordinating with family members to avoid duplication:
“I want to have a very austere holiday season… pick one big thing from the list and maybe do stockings.” — Elise [10:06]
- Depop Resale Adventures: Elise is reselling her daughter’s Taylor Swift merch & husband’s vintage clothing, making $175 in a week. She jokes:
“Depop is just like my side gig now.” — Elise [12:37]
3. Q&A Segment #1: Public Speaking Nerves
[16:11–21:55]
-
Listener Question: How do you handle nerves around public speaking—especially when asked to officiate a friend’s wedding?
-
Elise’s candid advice:
- She confides she’s always been anxious in the spotlight, recounting being sent home from kindergarten for melting down over skipping in front of the class.
- Hosting vs. Spotlight: She prefers hosting where she can “steer the conversation,” not be its focus.
- Exposure Therapy: Her mom had her learn piano and perform at recitals to build comfort in front of audiences.
- Wedding Advice:
“You are just there to celebrate your friends… everyone in that room loves them… ride the wave of all that good energy and love, because it’s really about them.” — Elise [18:10]
- Practical Tips:
- Be well-prepared and familiar with your speech text.
- Use focal points in the room for eye contact.
- Don’t practice in the mirror (TED coaches say it’s unnatural).
- Practice for people (friends, family, Zoom calls) instead.
-
Doree’s perspective:
- She’s less anxious with speeches or onstage, more so in unstructured situations like parties.
- Shares a friend’s tip: beta blockers can help, if anxiety is overwhelming (with the caveat: “not medical advice!”).
4. Q&A Segment #2: Hair Growth and Oral Minoxidil
[23:56–26:32]
- Listener asks Doree about unwanted hair growth from oral minoxidil after laser hair removal.
- Doree’s honest update:
- No significant regrowth except a few stray hairs (“but that was happening before I started the oral minoxidil”).
- High doses seem more likely to cause side effects; she recommends gradually ramping up dosage.
- Tip:
“Maybe I have, like, a little bit more peach fuzz on my face, but I really have not seen any real, like, unwanted hair growth and I'm seeing like actual growth.” — Doree [25:57]
- Be patient—results take time, but can be significant.
5. Listener Recommendations: Loop Earplugs for Sensory Overload
[22:09–23:29]
- Caller suggests Loop earplugs (and noise-cancelling AirPods) for loud environments (like kids’ sports or concerts).
- Hosts agree: Loop earplugs are great for calming overstimulation, while still being able to hear conversation or music.
6. Big Existential Question: Is Happiness Necessary for a Meaningful Life?
[28:56–35:56]
-
Listener (on their 35th birthday) asks:
- What does it mean to be happy?
- Is happiness necessary for a meaningful life?
- Has your perspective changed with age?
-
Elise’s reflections:
- Midlife is a natural time for these questions; references Jungian psychology and the “second half of life” identity search.
- Recommends:
- Krista Tippett’s “On Being”
- James Hollis’s “Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life”
- Shares the Mad Men Don Draper quote:
“You know what happiness is? It’s the moment before you need more happiness.”
- She values “psychological wholeness” over the pursuit of constant happiness, including embracing grief and pain.
“I want my life to feel whole... and have purpose and meaning. That doesn’t always mean being happy all the time.” — Elise [31:02]
- On having children: Chose to be a mom because “the regret of not having children would be greater than the regret of having children.”
-
Doree’s insights:
- Posits that meaningfulness is tied to happiness, but it’s a “chicken and egg” question.
“I think what can be a trap is seeking happiness for happiness’s sake… if you’re only looking to be happy, that’s going to be really challenging.” — Doree [34:38]
- Sees happiness as an outcome of meaningful pursuits: friendships, family, work, hobbies—rather than the end goal.
- Contentment vs. happiness vs. satisfaction: distinguishes but admits the lines are often blurred.
- Posits that meaningfulness is tied to happiness, but it’s a “chicken and egg” question.
-
Teaser: They announce an upcoming episode featuring a philosopher, co-author of “The Good Life,” to directly address these questions.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “No to popcorn on dry ice.” — Elise [08:16]
- “Depop is just like my side gig now.” — Elise [12:37]
- “You are just there to celebrate your friends… ride the wave of all that good energy and love, because it’s really about them.” — Elise [18:10]
- “Don’t practice in front of the mirror… it’s more effective just to practice to all different audiences.” — Elise [19:56]
- “I would much rather like, give a speech… there’s sort of like a script.” — Doree [20:37]
- “Maybe I have like a little bit more peach fuzz on my face, but I really have not seen any real, like, unwanted hair growth and I’m seeing actual growth.” — Doree [25:57]
- “You know what happiness is? It’s the moment before you need more happiness.” — (quoted from Mad Men by Elise) [30:38]
- “We all have kind of different ways that our brain rationalizes what’s scary and what’s not.” — Elise [21:17]
- “I want my life to feel whole… and have purpose and meaning. That doesn’t always mean being happy all the time.” — Elise [31:02]
- “I think what can be a trap is seeking happiness for happiness’s sake… cultivate these other areas of your life and happiness will follow.” — Doree [34:38]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [01:25–08:34] – Banter: Laryngitis, party foods, grape popcorn
- [08:35–12:47] – Holiday gifting, Depop resales
- [16:11–21:55] – Q&A: Public speaking nerves (wedding officiating)
- [22:09–23:29] – Listener tip: Loop earplugs
- [23:56–26:32] – Q&A: Hair loss treatments
- [28:56–35:56] – Q&A: Happiness vs. meaning
Tone & Atmosphere
The episode is warm, relatable, and pragmatic, balancing laughter and thoughtful introspection. Elise and Doree’s chemistry and openness make the episode both entertaining and validating, especially for listeners navigating self-care, big life questions, and the everyday messiness of adulthood.
Resources Mentioned
- Loop earplugs (for sensory overload)
- Krista Tippett’s “On Being” (book and podcast)
- James Hollis’s “Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life”
- Cheryl Strayed’s “Tiny Beautiful Things” Dear Sugar essays
- Upcoming book: “The Good Life” (to be featured in an episode)
Listener Takeaway
Expect practical advice (with caveats), honest experience-sharing, and a reassuring reminder: the journey to self-care, meaning, and happiness is messy, evolving, and best tackled together.