Chicago Bears 2026 SCHEDULE

Summary

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Forward Progress: Chicago Bears 2026 Schedule Breakdown

Podcast: Forward Progress – A Chicago Bears Podcast
Hosts: Dan Bernstein & Matt Abbatacola
Date: May 15, 2026
Episode Theme:
A passionate and analytical breakdown of the newly released Chicago Bears 2026 NFL schedule, combined with insightful (and often humorous) commentary about travel, rivalry games, the NFL’s prime-time choices, and the fan experience.

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Main Theme & Purpose

Dan and Matt deliver their signature blend of sharp analysis and fan-level excitement as they react to each quarter of the Bears' 2026 season schedule. The episode balances practical evaluation (likely records, potential tough stretches, travel advice) with authentic Chicago sports banter, inside jokes, and commentary on how the NFL and teams hype the schedule release on social media.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Team Schedule Release Videos

• Opening Segment (01:45): Hosts highlight the Bears' Bob Ross-inspired video starring rookie Roma Dunze, lauding its creativity and humor.

  • Dan: “The Bob Ross video that they did with Roma Dunze and his own actual afro...was extremely well done.” (01:45)
  • Matt: “That was cute. It was...pretty funny. He did a nice job with it, too.” (02:15)

• Dan wishes they’d leaned into real Bob Ross paint references for extra authenticity.

  • Dan: “I would have preferred yellow ochre and alizarin crimson and phthalo blue…” (02:19)

2. Full 2026 Bears Schedule Breakdown

• Quarter-by-Quarter Predictions
  The schedule release is chunked into quarters. The hosts discuss likely outcomes, highlight key games, and riff on potential trouble spots and travel opportunities.

  • First Quarter:

    • @Carolina (Noon), vs. Minnesota (Noon, FOX), vs. Eagles (Monday Night), vs. Jets (Noon)
    • Prediction: 3-1
    • Dan: “I think three and one.” (03:41)
    • Matt: “That’s what they’re gonna do. I saw the script already.” (03:47)

  • Second Quarter:

    • @Green Bay (325pm, National), @Atlanta (Noon), vs. New England (Thursday Night, Amazon), @Seattle (Monday Night)
    • Prediction: 2-2; “Five and three after eight.” (04:48–04:54)

  • Third Quarter:

    • vs. Tampa Bay (after a “mini-bye”), BYE, vs. New Orleans (Noon), @Detroit (Thanksgiving), vs. Jacksonville (Noon)
    • Prediction Split: Dan: 2-2, Matt: 3-1 (optimistic due to 3/4 at home) (06:31–06:43)

  • Fourth Quarter:

    • @Miami (Dec 13), @Buffalo (Saturday Night), vs. Green Bay (Christmas Day, Netflix), vs. Detroit (America’s Game of the Week), vs. Minnesota (TBD)
    • Finish: Dan predicts bold 4-1 finish; Matt notes it’s a tough closing stretch. (09:10–09:15)

  • Season Prediction: 12–5 record likely to win division, but both stress unpredictability due to injuries/unknowns.

    • Dan: “It’s all a fool’s errand to determine final quarter of five game season...We don’t know who’s hurt.” (06:43–06:58)
    • Matt: “What we say now, though, is what’s going to happen for the season. We’ve been selected as the script writers.” (09:02)

3. Prime-Time and Marquee Games

• Noted Highlights:
  • Five prime-time games (Monday, Thursday, Saturday, Christmas/Netflix, Thanksgiving)
  • Broad range of kick-off times: Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
  • Bears–Lions Thanksgiving tradition; Bears–Packers on Christmas.
  • Five prime-time, nine noon, two America’s Game of the Week slots.
  • Dan: “The five prime time games is an acknowledgment that this team is a draw.” (14:14)
  • Matt: “You do Bears, Lions, Bears, Packers, you’re going to set some records.” (14:33)

4. Best Bears Road Trips for 2026

• Dan’s Pick: Miami in December — “That’s your travel weekend. Book your flights now.” (07:07)

• Matt’s Picks: Green Bay mid-October for autumn, Seattle in early November, Atlanta as a fun destination.

• Discussion of local traditions, weather, and travel lore.

• Listener Input: A Seattle resident warns: “November and December are typically the absolute worst times of the year. 100% must miss.” (43:01)

5. Social Media Schedule Video Reactions

• Packers did a Claymation video (compared to Robot Chicken, left Dan confused).

• Vikings did a cookie recipe TikTok (possibly Photoshopped with an inside joke).

• Chargers inserted “easter eggs” referencing the Mike Vrabel/Diana Rossini scandal.

  • Matt: “Did you see the NFL put out a statement...they would not be monitoring...social media releases with their schedule...” (10:33)

• The Rams and Saints had their own spins (Bears football rubbed with Chicago hot dog ingredients).

6. Fan and Listener Q&A & Classic Banter

• Presents on Christmas morning before a noon game (“Presents should be opened and garbage thrown away and breakfast complete by about 7:30 in the morning.” – Matt, 20:54)
• Bears games likely to be a centerpiece of national conversation in 2026.
• Running gags about “motorboating” opposing teams (e.g., “They’re gonna open by clobbering Carolina.” – Dan, 24:15)
• Segment on “Kevin Warren postgame appearances,” lingering “good, better, best” meme from management.
• Amusing detours on football movies, swing sets, and kids’ trophies.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Schedule Hype:

  • “It’s a show that lives and breathes the Bears, while never shying away from the bigger NFL picture.” (Episode Description)
  • “Come on. Forward progress...Chicago Bears podcast.” – Matt (01:26)

• On Predictions and Fandom:

  • “It’s all a fool’s errand to determine final quarter...We don’t know who’s hurt.” – Dan (06:43)
  • “We’ve been selected as the script writers for the season.” – Matt (09:02)

• On Prime-Time Appeal:

  • “The five prime time games is a...acknowledgment that this team is a draw.” – Dan (14:14)

• On Social Media Releases:

  • “The Packers video was weird. Claymation...I didn’t understand it.” – Dan (10:19)
  • “Chargers hint at Mike Vrabel Diana Rossini scandal in schedule release video.” – Dan (41:57)

• On Classic Rivalries & National Spotlight:

  • “Bears-Lions, Bears-Packers, you’re going to set some records...record numbers. Viewing on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.” – Matt (14:33)

• On Road Trips:

  • “Do not go to Buffalo on December 19th.” – Dan (07:14)
  • “Miami in December...that’s your travel weekend.” – Dan (07:07)

• Listener Banter:

  • “Who has a swing set in the damn basement?” – Matt (22:57)
  • “Anything requiring construction should be set up...by kickoff.” – Dan (21:02)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bears Bob Ross Video & Opening Reactions: 01:45–02:37
• First Quarter Schedule Breakdown & Predictions: 03:00–03:49
• Prime-Time Games & “Bye Week” Analysis: 05:03–06:43
• Closing Quarter, Stretch Run, and Fan Travel: 07:07–08:55
• Prime-Time/Marquee Games Discussion: 09:35–10:33
• Social Media Videos and NFL Policy: 10:19–11:23
• Listener Q&A, Gift Talk, & Tangents: 20:38–41:02
• Side-Topics and Trophies: 29:58–32:38
• Listener Feedback on Travel, Lambeau Guidance: 43:26–45:21

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Tone & Style

The hosts maintain a blend of analytical precision, Chicago fan energy, and irreverent humor—frequently riffing off each other, taking cues from inside jokes, and responding to real-time chat/listener questions. The show transitions seamlessly between schedule breakdown, bigger NFL media trends, and lively audience engagement.

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Summary Takeaway

Whether you’re planning your autumn weekends, debating which away game to attend, or just savoring Bears optimism, this episode offers the full spectrum of fan experience: from detailed quarter-by-quarter analysis and prime-time considerations to social media shenanigans and old-school trash talk—capped with Dan and Matt’s signature wit and honesty.

Final Word
As Dan quips: “This has been your special live Bears schedule release edition of Forward Progress on 312 Sports. Progress is stopped.” (51:33)

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Transcript

[Dan Bernstein]

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[Matt Abeticola]

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[Dan Bernstein]

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[Matt Abeticola]

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[Dan Bernstein]

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[Matt Abeticola]

I mean, if you're a Bears fan, you're thinking, forward progress. Come on. Forward progress. The chicago bears podcast with dan bernstein and matt abeticola on 31 2.

[Dan Bernstein]

Sports. Well, we got it. The schedule is out. And I thought the Bears video, the Bob Ross video that they did with Roma Dunze and his own actual afro subbing for that of Bob Ross was extremely well done. I'd love to know how they came up with the idea. Maybe they took a look at Rome and like, hey, man, that's a. That's a Bob Ross level afro. Wait a second.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, that was cute. It was. It was pretty funny. He did a nice job with it, too.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. The only thing I would have wanted as a big Bob Ross fan would have been the actual paints. I would have preferred that we have yellow ochre and alizarin crimson and phthalo blue and midnight blue, Van Dyke brown, SAP green. Etc.

[Matt Abeticola]

Nothing is. Nothing's good enough for you, is it?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, no, it just. I. That was just the touch that I wanted. But it's okay. It's all good. And I. I would say that as far as the trip that jumps out at me, if you're looking to, to travel, I would say December 13th at Miami. That's going to be the trip you're going to want to make.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's a pretty good call. So you haven't looked at it fully yet. You have the Bears opening up at Carolina.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's a noon game.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yep. And then we have a home game, week two with Minnesota at noon on Fox.

[Dan Bernstein]

Those are both, those first two are both Fox games.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then week three is, is that Monday Night Football 7?

[Dan Bernstein]

You better believe it.

[Matt Abeticola]

Against the Philadelphia Eagles. And then week four, a noon game at home against the Jets. So you open on the road and then you get three consecutive games at home. And then we are in week number five.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right, let's hold on. First quarter of the season.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay, okay. First quarter.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'll say, I'll say. You want to go. I think three and one.

[Matt Abeticola]

Three and one is correct.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, that's. That's what they are going to do. I saw the script already. Three and one on the Bears. Good. Week five, they are on the road in Green Bay for a 325 game and all six.

[Dan Bernstein]

What. So that's, that's Fox. That is the, the America. That's the national game.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. And then six, then they go to Atlanta. That's a noon game.

[Dan Bernstein]

Perfect.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then October 22nd, what day is that there, Daniel?

[Dan Bernstein]

That is a Thursday nighter on Amazon prime at home against the Patriots.

[Matt Abeticola]

New England Patriots. And then week eight, they are Monday Night Football, November 2nd against Seattle. On the road in Seattle.

[Dan Bernstein]

The next week is.

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, let's do our quarter breaks. Quarter breaks here. So you have Green Bay, Atlanta, New England, Seattle.

[Dan Bernstein]

Two and two.

[Matt Abeticola]

Two and two.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, so all right. Five and three.

[Matt Abeticola]

Five and three after eight.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. All right.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then week nine, they are at home on. Is that Sunday night? It is.

[Dan Bernstein]

So it's three consecutive night games. It's a Thursday night. It's. Then they get like a mini buy. This is interesting. You've got some heal up time here because that, that October 22nd to November 2nd break is going to be your 11 days. Right? Is that right? Yeah, I think that's right. Well, no, October 22nd, there's. Yeah, 11 days. You're right. So then you have the Buccaneers. So that's a night game. So you get the extra time on that last day. Then the bye week.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, bye week is week 10. So now you open up the third quarter of the season at home against Tampa Bay. You get the bye week. And then week 11 you're at home. Noon game against New Orleans. You go on the road the following week for a noon game in Detroit, which is, of course, Thanksgiving Day.

[Dan Bernstein]

So are we going to, if we add the Jaguars game in there the next Sunday, another noon start on Fox. That's the next four games.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, that's a short week then too there, pal, because you get 1122 is the saints. And then you go on the road Thursday at the Lions.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then the noon game on the 6th of December against the Jaguars. So you have Tampa, New Orleans, the Lions and Jacksonville.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, let's go two and two.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, two and two with three. With three of those four games at home, though, I'm gonna go three and one. Daniel.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, but you've got. Yeah, because they're gonna lose that Detroit game, very likely if they're on short rest. I don't, I don't have Detroit schedule in front of me. But, but we shall see. Because we don't know. The quarterbacks are. I don't know. It doesn't, I mean, we don't know who's hurt. So it doesn't, it's all a fool's

[Matt Abeticola]

errand to determine final quarter of five game season. You open up on the road. Noon game, December 13th, which you suggested is a great travel day.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep. That's your travel weekend there. Book your flights now.

[Matt Abeticola]

Then from there you go to Buffalo the following.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, don't. Do not make. Do not go to Buffalo on December 19th.

[Matt Abeticola]

So that is a 720. What is that? Monday Night Football? Is that Sunday Night Football? That's Sunday Night Football, right?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, that's a Saturday night.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, it's a. Oh, Saturday game. Yep, that's right.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's a Saturday night special.

[Matt Abeticola]

So you have a noon game in Miami and then six days later you are a Saturday night game at Buffalo. Come back home on Christmas day. A Christmas day game at Soldier Field against the Green Bay Packers.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, that's on following Netflix, by the way. That's.

[Matt Abeticola]

That's a Netflix. A Netflix Christmas game. Yes. Yep. And then you have the game of the week, 3:25pm and Fox on January 3rd, where you host Detroit. And then you'll wrap up the season. Game time, game day to be determined. Against Minnesota. So you close your season out with Green Bay, Detroit and Minnesota. So what do you have there those final five games?

[Dan Bernstein]

17, 0.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay, well, that's gonna be tough, man. That's a, that's a tough schedule.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, it is.

[Dan Bernstein]

It is a tough schedule. But The Bears are good. It's okay. They're allowed to have a tough schedule. Yeah, they'll be fine. Oh, so Packers, Lions, Vikings, you get that same like divisional closing. You hope it doesn't matter that second game against the Vikings. By that time you're going to be resting everybody for your big super bowl run, right?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, I mean, but I mean, so you finished with three division rivals. Two of those are at home. But you're on the road in Miami, which isn't always easy to play, and then in Buffalo. So what do you think for those final 5, 5 0.

[Dan Bernstein]

Whatever you say is fine with me. It doesn't. It. We don't know who's healthy. We don't know if Tyson Bagent is.

[Matt Abeticola]

What we say now, though, is what's going to happen for the season. We've been selected as the script writers for the season.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. This is determinative then. Okay?

[Matt Abeticola]

It is. It's very important.

[Dan Bernstein]

See, I don't know. Let's go four and one.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, wow. You're really going bold. Bold predictions with Dan Bernstein. Yeah. So that puts the bears at a 12 and 5 season.

[Dan Bernstein]

Daniel, that'll do it. You think about, right? I don't know. Come on.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, I mean you said it was. So does 12 wins. 12 wins win you the division again?

[Dan Bernstein]

It should.

[Matt Abeticola]

Bears don't take that step back. And they finish 7 and what, 7 and 10.

[Dan Bernstein]

That could happen too. So here's just taking a look at this. That's five prime time games. That is nine noon kicks. You've got two of that. America's game, whatever they call it. Football day in America. I don't know whatever they call it that you got Christmas and Thanksgiving and they play on a Sunday, a Monday, a Thursday, a Friday and a Saturday. Okay. They did a nice job with their video. The packers video was weird and I'm not sure.

[Matt Abeticola]

I didn't see that. What is the pattern? I have no interest.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's Claymation. It looks like. Like a Robot Chicken episode or something. And they're. They're in a. They're playing video games and whack a mole and Clay Matthews shows up and I didn't understand it.

[Matt Abeticola]

Did you see that the NFL put out a statement earlier that they would not be monitoring what teams do as far as their social media releases with their schedule with anything in regards to the Mike Vrabel, Diana Rossini situation.

[Dan Bernstein]

They said that you did you. They wouldn't be monitoring it.

[Matt Abeticola]

It would not be monitoring it. Like, you know, basically like use your best Discretion.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Oh, I'd love to know if somebody did that. I hope somebody did. It is my absolute. I hope everybody does.

[Matt Abeticola]

I don't think anybody will do anything. I think there's gonna stay. Stay off of that. Now there's this talk of this possible NDA that, that floating around today and, and online and within stories and reporters and so who knows? Who knows? But that's. That's the bear schedule. It's. It's out. You have an opportunity now. Dan thinks.

[Dan Bernstein]

Wait, wait. The Vikings did something here.

[Matt Abeticola]

What do they do?

[Dan Bernstein]

Apparently the Vikings in. They do cookie baking recipes. And it says TikTok cookies. It says Week 14 at the Patriots. One teaspoon of Rossini juice.

[Matt Abeticola]

Did they really?

[Dan Bernstein]

Unless this is Photoshopped. Wow. Or did somebody Photoshop it in?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, maybe.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. My guess is it's Photoshop.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. I wouldn't. I wouldn't think a team would do anything like that.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I don't think they wouldn't do that. No. Because it's all these recipes. No. No way.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right, so you're. You're, you're suggesting Miami is the best road trip. Miami in December. I'm gonna go.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm gonna be the best road trip.

[Matt Abeticola]

I'm gonna go with Green Bay in the middle of October. I think be beautiful. Beautiful land up there that time of year. What a great time to be in Green Bay. It actually be with like, the good, wholesome people of Green Bay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, maybe. I don't know when deer hunting season is. Should we check and see when Green Bay deer. Because that, you know, that's, that's. There won't be anybody at the game if it's deer hunting season.

[Matt Abeticola]

I've been to Miami, so I'd rather go to Seattle in early November.

[Dan Bernstein]

Green Bay gun deer season statewide. It's November 21st to the 29th, so. And then archery and crossbow season goes through January 23rd.

[Matt Abeticola]

Maybe a quick jot down to. To Atlanta. That'd be a fun, fun weekend trip too.

[Dan Bernstein]

What are you gonna do there? Hang out with Zampillo. Nobody wants to do that.

[Matt Abeticola]

Go see Zampillo and get some good food.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I, I don't think so. I'm not with you on that one.

[Matt Abeticola]

Maybe. Oh, maybe Detroit for Thanksgiving. Maybe spend Thanksgiving in Detroit. Short is lovely.

[Dan Bernstein]

The Carolina game to start. That's a big old. No, that's gonna be way too hot and sweaty.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, I would like that. I would. I would do that, actually.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, you didn't even mention the preseason schedule.

[Matt Abeticola]

What is the preseason schedule?

[Dan Bernstein]

Their week one, all the times are tbd. They're at home against Cleveland. Week two, they're at Cincinnati. And week three, they're at the Titans.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, I'm not interested. I've lost a lot of interest in the state of Tennessee, so not interested.

[Dan Bernstein]

What about the trip to Seattle on November 2nd? That would be interesting.

[Matt Abeticola]

I said that would be nice.

[Dan Bernstein]

That'd be a nice trip. Yeah, it's always. Seattle's always nice because you have sort of the temperate little, you know, climate there. Yeah, I don't think there's any great trip on here other than if you want to get away for. For some warmth. There's Miami in December.

[Matt Abeticola]

You know, one thing that's not on this schedule, as I just noticed, Hammond.

[Dan Bernstein]

Hammond is not. That is correct. It is not. But I think we'll know more on that in a couple weeks. But the, The. The five prime time games is a. An acknowledgment that this team is a draw. And the two games. Two games in that 325 slot, too.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. And the NFL knew what they were doing with those Christmas Day games. And then Thanksgiving. I mean, you do Bears, Lions, Bears, packers. You're going to set some records. I mean, there'll be some record numbers. Viewing on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.

[Dan Bernstein]

They have played. According to Kevin Fishman. He said the Bears have played on Christmas Day twice in franchise history.05 and 2011, both under the lights against the packers in Lambeau.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh. Oh, really?

[Dan Bernstein]

And last year. I did not know that. Last year was their first Friday game since 1966. And that was the win over the Eagles.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yes, that was the. Wasn't that. Was that a black. There's not the Black Friday game.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. So. And then they have another Black Friday game here this year where it's, I think we said Denver and Pittsburgh, if that's.

[Dan Bernstein]

If that's accurate.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then there's a Thanksgiving Day or Thanksgiving Eve game on the.

[Dan Bernstein]

When. Yeah, that's our first Wednesday football.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. So you're gonna have Wednesday, Thursday, Friday that week.

[Dan Bernstein]

There are other Saturday games once college football's over. There are. Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, yeah, well, college football goes until, like, February now, but I mean, once

[Dan Bernstein]

the regular season's over, before they get into the. To the bowl schedule.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. All right, so that's. That's the Bear schedule there to start it off for you at Carolina, home against Minnesota, the Eagles, the Jets. Then you're on the road. Green Bay, Atlanta at home against Mike Vrabel. Then you're on the road at Seattle home against Tampa, a bye week home for the Saints on the road for new for the Lions on Thanksgiving day. Then you go and you host Jacksonville. Then you go to Miami, go to Buffalo Christmas Day you host the packers, host the Lions the following week and then the final week of the season is close closing out with the Minnesota Vikings.

[Dan Bernstein]

And that last game is all tbd.

[Matt Abeticola]

They don't know what day the time.

[Dan Bernstein]

The only thing they know about is they're playing the Vikings.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yes quarterback will be for the Vikings by that time. Could be one of the seven quarterbacks they have there now. Who knows who it will could be someone not even there in the quarterback room just yet.

[Dan Bernstein]

I do find the, the that middle of the season timing to be really interesting. Having the 11 days from game seven to game eight and then six day turnaround for the Buccaneers and then the bye week. So it makes that that last Sunday before the, the that's the last of three night games in there too. That's, that's going to be a really odd little chunk in.

[Matt Abeticola]

It is going to be an odd chunk but the NFL did them a favor by going home away home. Then you get the bye week and then another tough stretch where you have the Saints at home and then four days later you turn around and play in Detroit.

[Dan Bernstein]

But you start home because they, because the both games sandwiching the buy are home games are Sunday home games. So that, that looks like a potential kind of get well time if you have some guys who are in between injury wise.

[Matt Abeticola]

Right. All right, interesting. Well, that's good stuff. Really, really exciting. Very exciting. I mean this is like the NFL knows what they're doing when they, I mean this is like, yeah, this is very exciting. Very exciting.

[Dan Bernstein]

So I, I, I don't know exactly if there's any other meaning in this.

[Matt Abeticola]

There is no meaning. You can't extrapolate anything from this. We have no idea, we have no idea what the roster will look like and who will be healthy on week one.

[Dan Bernstein]

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[Dan Bernstein]

I do just want to say that I thought Roma Dunzy did a really good job with his Bob Ross.

[Matt Abeticola]

I really did. All of the NFL team social media like shenanigans that they posted. That was the. I can say this with 100 confidence. The best one that I saw. Because it's the only one that you saw, correct? It's the only one that I saw. But it was the best one that I did see. It was great.

[Dan Bernstein]

I saw the Rams. I got a report that in theirs.

[Matt Abeticola]

Love this.

[Dan Bernstein]

The Saints had, when they, they were. There was something about they were rubbing up the footballs or like mudding the footballs. Yeah. And apparently the Bears football was rub up with all the ingredients of a Chicago style hot dog. How about, how about that?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. One of our listeners here says we should have a schedule machine. Here's a question from Jack Wagon Love Jack Wagon presence before or after the game? Definitely before. Like the game's at. The game's at noon.

[Dan Bernstein]

Christmas presents. Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

I mean presents should be opened and garbage thrown away and breakfast complete by about 7:30 in the morning.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Anything requiring construction should be set up. Like if you got a, a swing set or a bike or something like that, that should be done by kickoff.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. And if you're buying your kids a swing set and setting it up Christmas morning, you're an idiot. Just, I'll just tell you that there. So by the way, keep it the basement or something. Just keep it the box with the picture here kids in about six months you can play with this.

[Dan Bernstein]

Mid July we'll, we'll get around to it.

[Matt Abeticola]

Here, here's a quarter. Go flip it.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's a toy. It works. Give Me, you know, a stick. I can hit things with a stick. Or here.

[Matt Abeticola]

Here's a dice. Go play, die. What else we got here?

[Dan Bernstein]

What?

[Matt Abeticola]

I'm just looking. I'm looking to see a lot of people joining us and hello, fans.

[Dan Bernstein]

Thanks for being people. Hi. Thanks for being here. I forgot to put on my three one, two shirt, though, so.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, here's a question. Yeah, that's why the Show's off. Oh, 17. What does that mean? I have no idea what that one. That was.

[Dan Bernstein]

It probably meant to be 17. 0.

[Matt Abeticola]

How many Kevin Warren post game cameos this year? How many games they play? Yeah. 17. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Every time they're in the home locker room at least. I don't know if he does it every time on the road, but he stands in his spot with his orange tie and is. Is there.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, yeah. It's just the home games. He does that. Right? So that'll be. What, do they have nine home games this year? Is that. Is that correct?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, he may do it on the road.

[Matt Abeticola]

We don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

We don't see it the same way. Or they don't publish the post game. The same. The question I have is, is he gonna bring back good, better, best?

[Matt Abeticola]

That's probably. That's. You know what I mean? With Roma Dunes.

[Dan Bernstein]

A.

[Matt Abeticola]

Using it in. In his little social media clip. He said it. I know. Maybe it's a thing.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. I think it kind of. It's kind of over, but.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, I don't think. It can't be over. It's his. That's his signature call.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, cool.

[Matt Abeticola]

Who has a swing set in the damn basement?

[Dan Bernstein]

What? I'm just saying that maybe if you want to set it up and they. And they take it outside later. I don't know. I'm just trying to think of things. You have to build. You have to build a bike. What else do you have to build?

[Matt Abeticola]

Racetrack.

[Dan Bernstein]

A racetrack?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. Like, if you like control car. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Slot cars.

[Matt Abeticola]

They still.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Or. Oh, a slot machine. If you buy your kids a slot machine, maybe you got to put that together. Better, best. Bestest.

[Dan Bernstein]

Better. Best. Bestest. No, no, I.

[Matt Abeticola]

It's a People around today.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Who. Why do you say that?

[Dan Bernstein]

Because I saw that one

[Matt Abeticola]

Kevin Warren be holding a shovel in the post game appearances. He better. He better be digging something, too.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's stuck on the ground, though. He can't move it. It's. It's easy. All he has to do is put it in the ground somewhere.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yes, I agree with this Quizzical Eagle says good, better, best will Never be allowed to rest.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. Because they're gonna get clowned if they're bad.

[Matt Abeticola]

Tiny swing set.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's gonna be a little one.

[Matt Abeticola]

That's from Jack wagon. Again, Megatron 5000. Who will. Who will? The Bears motorboat.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'll answer that. I will answer that.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, they're gonna motor, bro.

[Dan Bernstein]

Who are they gonna motor, Broat? Yeah, I. I think they're gonna. I think they're gonna open by clobbering Carolina.

[Matt Abeticola]

You think they're gonna. Oh, God, I think. Oh, I think week four. Week four, they're gonna drop 50 on the jets.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's almost sad. And then. And then that home game after the buy against the Saints.

[Matt Abeticola]

The Saints, they. Oh, they motor.

[Dan Bernstein]

Brought him.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

They're gonna make poor Tyler.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. How do you say his lame? Because it's. It doesn't. It's not spelled the way it's. It sounds.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think it's Tyler Shock.

[Matt Abeticola]

Is it shocked shuck or shock, I think. Or is it shog. Shoha.

[Dan Bernstein]

Tyler. It's spelled Shao, I think.

[Matt Abeticola]

Is that. Is that how you say it is? Xiao.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, no use. It's. It's shuck. Like, you sure.

[Matt Abeticola]

Corn.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes. Or. Or the former longtime character actor, I think, long dead John Shuck, used to be on game shows and stuff back in the 70s.

[Matt Abeticola]

Did. Did Jimmy crack Corn?

[Dan Bernstein]

He didn't care, though.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay, but what does it mean to crack corn?

[Dan Bernstein]

Wait, ask Frank.

[Matt Abeticola]

I can hear him. Well, the cat. The cat's walking around the house and the dogs go crazy.

[Dan Bernstein]

Still. Don't they know the cat lives there?

[Matt Abeticola]

They must not. They're still. They're not very. Well, Frank's not very smart. And yes, it is a Top Gun poster on the Pac man machine. Got it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Jimmy Crack Corn or the Blue Tail Fly is an American folk song and minstrel tune from the 1840s that tells the story of an enslaved person whose master dies.

[Matt Abeticola]

So they can only sing it, like,

[Dan Bernstein]

certain times of the month after a blue tail fly bites his horse, causing them to fall.

[Matt Abeticola]

So that means.

[Dan Bernstein]

So it's a celebration of the master's death. Cool. I didn't know that.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay, I guess celebrate that time of

[Dan Bernstein]

the month, you know, you celebrate the death of the slave master. Hell, yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. Oh, no, I get that. But I mean, during the menstrual time.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's not a minstrel.

[Matt Abeticola]

It's not a very. No, you minster. It's pronounced minstrel.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's minstrel.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, that's not how you say it, Dan. It's pronounced menstrual.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think it's pronounced Tyler Shuck show Taylor.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, here's a good question for you. You can answer this. You're on top of. Oh, this has got jack wagon. I just. I gotta start looking at the names here. When's the stadium announcement? When is that coming out?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't think there's any announcement until they actually get this bill passed in the Senate. But it's going to be a couple of weeks probably. Okay, then that'll get done.

[Matt Abeticola]

Alexandra says you can get your nap in too, on Christmas day before the game. So that works. If you're napping before noon, you might have a problem.

[Dan Bernstein]

Maybe. Like, I don't know anything about the Christmas nap. Do people. Is it.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, I don't know. I don't nap. I don't. I've never. I. I feel worse when I take a nap. I wake up feeling like, oh, no,

[Dan Bernstein]

a golf nap is fine. Like just kind of passing out on the couch during. On a Saturday or Sunday while watching golf. That's fine. Yeah. Other than that, it messes you up completely.

[Matt Abeticola]

The only time I nap well is on public transportation. So sometimes I'll hop on the metro when I have nowhere to go just to take a quick nap.

[Dan Bernstein]

Take the red line down to 95th.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, no, I'm on the metro. So I'll go down to like maybe the Deerfield stop, get off at the park there, and then catch the next train back to Libertyville. Get a good nap in.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. There's a couple places to eat around there. Although the place where we did the show is gone. I think it's another place that Terry and I killed. I think every place that, that we

[Matt Abeticola]

did the show, we destroyed seven standalone games. Be ready to be the subject of national convo even more this year. Well, yeah, we were ready.

[Dan Bernstein]

Of course. Chicago Bears, one division. Ben's gonna be out there pissing people off with his antics. He's gonna be bothering people with his handshakes.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right, Dan, this is a question for you from Steven.

[Dan Bernstein]

For me? Yes.

[Matt Abeticola]

What's the over under on Kevin Warren photos in Indiana?

[Dan Bernstein]

Kevin Warren photos of him in Indiana?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

None.

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, it depends what media outlets taking them.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right? I'm just saying, believe me, if he's. There's one who's got a hotline and the moment he calls, they jump and do whatever he says.

[Matt Abeticola]

So if.

[Dan Bernstein]

If he calls them, they'll be there with all their people and all their cameras.

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, this is rude from stone pony jets. First interception in 20 games will be Against Caleb.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's mean. It's.

[Matt Abeticola]

It's also inaccurate.

[Dan Bernstein]

Just. Oh, right.

[Matt Abeticola]

Here's a good question, Dan. Oh, that was funny. Good. Good job on you. That was nice. Dan, where are all your broadcasting awards? What is that one? Is that a penis? What is that?

[Dan Bernstein]

It's a microphone. That's. That's Best sports talk.

[Matt Abeticola]

I thought it was biggest penis of the year.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's every year. I don't save those. Those. I have a special room for that. This is play by play of What? Of a DePaul game.

[Matt Abeticola]

Wait, what?

[Dan Bernstein]

Did you.

[Matt Abeticola]

Did you make those awards yourself?

[Dan Bernstein]

I did not just go to a

[Matt Abeticola]

trophy store and have an award made.

[Dan Bernstein]

This isn't for broadcasting. This is just for me being awesome.

[Matt Abeticola]

What is that one?

[Dan Bernstein]

This was. I was person of the Year for. Wish that was the shining in your

[Matt Abeticola]

house Person of the year.

[Dan Bernstein]

That. I lose that every year.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, it's the only time you won it.

[Dan Bernstein]

This was the.

[Matt Abeticola]

I. I don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

It was the Shining Star award. I don't remember exactly what. I did. Something. I think it was just general awesomeness. And this was reporting. Then there's another one up there for cancer charities or something. Raising money for Archibald.

[Matt Abeticola]

Meat pants says I've got panes of glass, too. Well, yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Russ Armstrong custom made special panes of glass for me.

[Matt Abeticola]

Windows.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Best customer of the year.

[Dan Bernstein]

He had all this extra glass lying around.

[Matt Abeticola]

It's. You got that last one of the best reads on three. One, two. Sports.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right, But I only edged you out by a tiny, tiny, tiny bit.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, because I think I've done one so far in the nine months. Maddie, I just got a Ms. Pac man machine. Oh, that's nice. Congratulations.

[Dan Bernstein]

You know, that picture behind you makes it look like Maverick is judging you.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, you never judged me. He's got.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, he's doing. No, but he's looking at you like he's making sure you're doing everything right. Oh, we have a great email for tomorrow, by the way.

[Matt Abeticola]

What is it?

[Dan Bernstein]

It is. There's a lot of Top Gun related stuff.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Tomorrow on dbu. A lot of. There's Top Gun stuff. A lot of Popeye. Popeye touched a nerve this week because everybody had Popeye thoughts. And there is another report regarding a doctor's concern about exploding Taint Syndrome.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, really? Yes. Wow. Let me see. What does it say? Dan swiped those trinkets from a bank. When you rob the bank.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Dan was person of the Year Square. Who was the competition? Satan, perhaps? You want to see my trophy?

[Dan Bernstein]

I believe I'VE lost to Bernstein again.

[Matt Abeticola]

Again. First there's, like, with the fiddle. And there's this guy Bernstein. God damn it. Who wasn't going to Georgia anymore. Between Bernstein and the guy from Georgia. Hey, have I shown you my trophies?

[Dan Bernstein]

No. Let's see them.

[Matt Abeticola]

I'll put them. I'll see.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'll get the camera turned over there.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, there's the blitz machine. That's our championship trophy.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. You have shown me these before.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then there's enormous.

[Dan Bernstein]

Your leagues have too much money.

[Matt Abeticola]

Why?

[Dan Bernstein]

If you're. If those are the championship trophies for, like, youth sports.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, dude, the. The gold one on the. On that. That's the runner up trophy.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, we're.

[Dan Bernstein]

We're.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then that's the championship one on the floor.

[Dan Bernstein]

I can't fit it. Yeah, I think that your leagues are like a tax dodge for somebody in there.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then the one in the middle

[Dan Bernstein]

there, that looks like this, that's the Lombardi trophy.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, the Lombardi mini one is. That's our flag football championship.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then the little runner guy is the trophy that the kids got for winning the championship. That's their individual trophy.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, then why do you get to show it up? Why don't they show it off?

[Matt Abeticola]

There's an extra one. I just happen to find its way to the back of my car.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

Sometimes things fall out the back of the truck. Sometimes things fall into the back of my car.

[Dan Bernstein]

Hey, you want a trophy?

[Matt Abeticola]

Sometimes it's a dead body.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah, you're getting gas somewhere and some guy pulls up to you, goes, hey, how'd you like a participation trophy? That's me.

[Matt Abeticola]

I sell them on the side.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, you showed up. Good job.

[Matt Abeticola]

I mean, you buy socks out of a guy's trunk at the gas stations. I buy trophies.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I. No, it was at an exit. It wasn't a gas station. The gas station is where I was offered speakers when a guy just said, hey, hey, I got some speakers.

[Matt Abeticola]

But it was like. Like formal speakers, like TED Talkers or.

[Dan Bernstein]

What do you know? It's William Jennings.

[Matt Abeticola]

Brian, actually.

[Dan Bernstein]

Like, wow. I thought he was dead. Nope. He was in the back of that guy's van there. He was. It was too expensive for me.

[Matt Abeticola]

In a van down by the river, Kenny Rogers teamed up with Charlie Daniels to follow up. Cowder of the county with Fucker with the Fiddle. Whoa, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't want to do that.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's appropriate. You think Satan, really, when he thinks about it, like, it really eats Adam. That he lost to the Charlie Daniels in the fiddle contest. And how do you get to challenge him to a fiddle contest? Like, is that thing.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, because he was there wandering around Georgia looking for a soul to steal. And some hillbilly walked up to him and said, I can play fiddle, too. And then they were like, let's have a fiddle off. And he's like, if you beat me, you can get this fiddle made of gold. And if I beat you, I'm going to take your soul.

[Dan Bernstein]

Actually, fiddle off is actually Satan's lawyer. Changed everything.

[Matt Abeticola]

So don't take my soul. Take my wife seriously. Please, someone. And then the devil chuckled, and they went up at a beer together.

[Dan Bernstein]

What are you doing in Georgia? I don't know.

[Matt Abeticola]

CBS Underpants. That's you. TB Fiddlers. Yeah, that was our country bar.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, no. Riddling, diddling, and hot country fiddling.

[Matt Abeticola]

What was Swaggy? Whatever your name is. What's the. What's the decent pickup line?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know. Maybe wandering around Georgia looking for a soul to steal. I don't know.

[Matt Abeticola]

And is that. Is that Bill Murray from Groundhog Day?

[Dan Bernstein]

Right.

[Matt Abeticola]

That's Groundhog Day, isn't it? Isn't it what the avatar is. Yes. Fox is reporting John Smoltz has the call against Carolina. He.

[Dan Bernstein]

He actually likes football, though. That's the thing. He hates me. But oddly enough, he actually. Actually likes football. So maybe he calls it better. I don't know.

[Matt Abeticola]

What is this one? This. Oh, this year's Gray Meat of the Year award goes to Ben Roethlisberger. Dan Bernstein.

[Dan Bernstein]

Maddie missed my joke. I thought it was funny.

[Matt Abeticola]

I know. I got it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Wait, who's Marty and why?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know who Marty is.

[Matt Abeticola]

Marty. Why does he have kids? Keep murdering Marty.

[Dan Bernstein]

Back to the future.

[Matt Abeticola]

That's pretty good. I think he met Maddie. Maddie's kids league is supported by Saudi pif. Yeah, that's why. That's why Liv is. Is folding, because football season is right around the corner.

[Dan Bernstein]

Scott. Oh, wait a second.

[Matt Abeticola]

What happened?

[Dan Bernstein]

I just.

[Matt Abeticola]

What'd you do?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't think my thing is hooked up.

[Matt Abeticola]

What thing?

[Dan Bernstein]

My thing got messed up. There. That's better.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, did you kick something?

[Dan Bernstein]

I was unplugged. I thought it was plugged in the.

[Matt Abeticola]

Did you unplug something when you're doing Doc Brown?

[Dan Bernstein]

Maybe. I might have been going on WI Fi. I don't know. I never know. And then Jason used this the other day when we were doing owc and he moved everything around because he's a penis.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. Didn't he disconnect stuff last time he was home, too? There are a few cartoons where Popeye did open both eyes, FYI. So if that's correct, Zombie. I knew he didn't have just one eye.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's proven. And he was in the Navy. It's cannon. He apparently got into a. One of the torpedo tubes of a submarine and ate spinach, and they fired him at a. At a U boat or a destroyer or something.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay, so he was.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

I knew he was in the Navy.

[Dan Bernstein]

He was, yes. Oh, boy.

[Matt Abeticola]

Jesus, you're putting the dark there. Well, I'm just trying to be a part of the community here.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, I know.

[Matt Abeticola]

Here's a question for you, Dan. What's for dinner tonight?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know. I. I didn't. I. I got in a couple hours of fishing instead of going to the store because I had a. There was like a long list of. The family wanted me to get things, and I said, I don't care, and I went fishing instead. So I have no idea what's for dinner. Jason's going out drinking, so I don't know.

[Matt Abeticola]

Did you just hang a sign in the kitchen that says gone fishing?

[Dan Bernstein]

Might as well. I don't care. I'm not. I'm not buying everybody's stuff and making them all their dinners all the time. Figure it out yourselves.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right, do we need to recap the schedule again or you think people know it by now?

[Dan Bernstein]

I think people have memorized it by now. I think. I think. I think the only thing I want to make sure of is I didn't miss any Easter eggs in the bears video. I want to make sure that there. It appeared fairly straightforward, and I'm sure upon multiple viewings, I'm going to pick something up.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, I think he. I think he painted like a. Like a. Out. Like a mountains and trees. I don't. I don't think he painted eggs. It wasn't like a holiday painting, Dan. I think there was clouds, there was birds, trees. I'm looking at it right now.

[Dan Bernstein]

There's water, there's a jet. There was a dolphin.

[Matt Abeticola]

There's a dirt path.

[Dan Bernstein]

There were two different ships. I just. I wonder if there was something in there that I missed. And he, he, he did beat the heck out of the, out of the big brush, though, the two inch brush.

[Matt Abeticola]

He did?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. He cleaned his brush. I thought they were going to set something up there, but he just. He just hit the 2 inch. Brushing on the thing.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

You're.

[Matt Abeticola]

You're familiar with that?

[Dan Bernstein]

The two inch brush. Yeah, that's his favorite brush. It's what his. The man who taught Bob Ross, a guy named Bill Alexander, used to refer to that as the mighty brush.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, because you. Oh, I remember Bill Alexander. He was great Bill.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. But did you know, by the way, this is true. Bill Alexander still kind of resents Bob Ross because he trained Bob Ross in the wet on wet style. And because you remember he. He used the white that he would use to prepare the canvas. Bill Alexander called Magic White. And Bob Ross then later on came out with his own version of it. He used to use Magic White, but Bill Alexander owned that, so he created what he called Liquid White, which is essentially the same thing. But there were. There was all kinds of bad blood between the two of them.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. And then you started as. You have a series where you start with Squirrel White.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's retired. Retired. Sorry. He's.

[Matt Abeticola]

He is.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's stopped playing football now. He was a great Chicago Bear and will be remembered for his. His Bears career that lasted a practice.

[Matt Abeticola]

And then here's a question for you, Dan, before we wrap up. Hopefully we don't go another 45 minutes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Let's go another 45 minutes. I got nothing to do and nobody cares where I am.

[Matt Abeticola]

What's your favorite football movie?

[Dan Bernstein]

Didn't I do this for a top 10?

[Matt Abeticola]

I think we did sports movies, but I don't think you've seen any football movies.

[Dan Bernstein]

The original Longest Yard.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, yeah, that's right. You are dumb.

[Dan Bernstein]

Why am I dumb?

[Matt Abeticola]

Go to McDonald's to get some real

[Dan Bernstein]

fish with American cheese on it and tartar sauce. Not tonight, honey. I have a haddock.

[Matt Abeticola]

I get it. That's right. She's doing the menstrual cycle anyway.

[Dan Bernstein]

Idiot.

[Matt Abeticola]

Who?

[Dan Bernstein]

You're just a dope.

[Matt Abeticola]

Wrote a whole song about it and put two. Okay, well, come on. You're boring me. These are boring. Boring. Be funnier if you're boring me.

[Dan Bernstein]

We got.

[Matt Abeticola]

This is.

[Dan Bernstein]

At this point, I guarantee you we're down to just. The rider dies now. We're down to like the hardcore absolute 312 sports degenerates right here with us right now.

[Matt Abeticola]

This is not Dead Guy. One of our guys here.

[Dan Bernstein]

My point proven, Not Dead Guy has a thought.

[Matt Abeticola]

Strangles is here.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, Strangle didn't go anywhere. I think Strangles is actually a consortium. There are like six different people. It's like Green Lantern. There are a bunch of people who represent Strangles the Clown, I think, because there's. Unless. Unless he's like Independently wealthy and doesn't work and.

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, that's what you're. That's what you've said. You've said that he is. Okay, here we go. He has to be. Oh, this is what people meant earlier. People were just. Were sending in just the word chargers. And I have no idea why.

[Dan Bernstein]

Because we were like, that's why.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, the guy. So the Chargers did a dig at Rabel. I didn't see that. Did not see that.

[Dan Bernstein]

Chargers hint at Mike Vrabel Diana Rossini scandal in schedule release video. The Halo themed video set up the Week 12 game against the Patriots and a Mario Kart inspired Rainbow Road. The video referenced the Patriots 163 win over the Chargers during the wild card playoffs. So the pause screen saying, nothing to see here. Press X to skip this checkpoint. All right, see, I don't know the references to Halo. So. And then it said in the Halo,

[Matt Abeticola]

isn't that a Beyonce song or. No.

[Dan Bernstein]

The next screen flashed to a billboard next to the racetrack. This is next photo dump one mile. Referring to the trickle of pictures that come out showing Variable and Rossini.

[Matt Abeticola]

Aha.

[Dan Bernstein]

So in the final Easter egg, a message pops up on the screen from the New York Post, which publishes Page Six.

[Matt Abeticola]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, okay. Huh.

[Matt Abeticola]

You did a good job explaining that. You painted a really nice picture of what they.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm just reading the story from Mass Live, so.

[Matt Abeticola]

Matt's lives. Oh, see, it is so. It is a video game and it is a beyond. I knew Halo was a Beyonce song.

[Dan Bernstein]

Thank you for sharing that. Appreciate that.

[Matt Abeticola]

Hey, are you gonna go see the new Star wars movie that's coming out?

[Dan Bernstein]

The Mandalorian and Grogu?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

No.

[Matt Abeticola]

Why not?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't want to. I mean, I don't think I'm really that interested because I didn't watch the Mandalorian before, so. There's an email from Scott. He says, I'm listening. Listening to your schedule. Drop coverage right now. And Jimmy's cracking corn as I type this. He says, I'm a Seattle resident. I can state with 100% certainty that November and December are typically the absolute worst times of the year. Days are short, cold. Usually the light rain is swapped with an atmospheric river. Fucking terrible. 100% must miss. So, but if you make it here and need some wrecks, let me know. He said, I'm thinking about going to Lambeau in October. Any recommendations for that trip?

[Matt Abeticola]

Don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, there's nothing around there, man. I will say, if you want to go up to Door county, you can combine that trip with A lovely fall. Stay in like Sister Bay or indoor county, because Door county is absolutely gorgeous. I was up there on November 1st last year and it was. It was cool, but it was beautiful.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. I would. I would recommend that if you're going to go to the packers game, just be in Green Bay just for the game itself and get out.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep, yep. I would. I would definitely start pricing an Airbnb or something in Door county if you want to make that trip and stay there and then go to the game and leave.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah. And if you have a back. Any back issues of any kind, don't go to the game. Why isn't it all benches still? I mean, no, when I went.

[Dan Bernstein]

I thought they redid that.

[Matt Abeticola]

They put chairs in within the last six years, seven years.

[Dan Bernstein]

I thought they did. I don't know. Maybe not. They don't care. They don't care. I don't know. They should put in like ice fishing huts for everybody and then they can try to fish while they watch.

[Matt Abeticola]

Green Bay has sad cheese curds for all the cheese talk.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

Although this listener says there is decent fishing in D County.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah. Although I caught too much to type out Door.

[Matt Abeticola]

All those letters.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't remember how to spell door. I gotta fire this thing off so they. So they can make sure they read it on their own live podcast that's entertaining America right now. Like it's never been entertained before.

[Matt Abeticola]

Can't hit those two O's and then R. Screw that. Oh, it's so still. Bleachers in most areas. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right. Okay.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, Jack wagon. You should get like a chuck for this show. Jesus.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, here's a question for you, Dan. Where can I find the Roma Dunes A video?

[Dan Bernstein]

Everywhere.

[Matt Abeticola]

Just anywhere videos are found anyway.

[Dan Bernstein]

Any at Chicago Bears, I Instagram, Twitter, wherever the Chicago Bears have accounts. That video is going to be up. I had. I had it Instagrammed to me by my son when it came out. So that's where I found it.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, I wouldn't go to DRO County. I would definitely go to door.

[Dan Bernstein]

I see. You could do O D O R County, which would have.

[Matt Abeticola]

Might be funnier as a O D O R. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Because that way it's an actual word. And actually the word R O O D is a door.

[Matt Abeticola]

What's. What's. I've never heard of OT or County,

[Dan Bernstein]

but I, I think isn't a.

[Matt Abeticola]

An.

[Dan Bernstein]

Isn't a rude. It's a staff that's held by like a. It's a clerical staff of some kind.

[Matt Abeticola]

Like A bunch of priests?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, an actual literal, like. Like staff.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, like people that work together in, like, con conjunction in one location.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's a cross or a crucifix.

[Matt Abeticola]

Satan.

[Dan Bernstein]

Now I see. No, a rude cross or triumphal cross. A large crucifix set above the entrance. Okay. It is an archaic word for pole, from the old English rude R, O, D. Pole. Got it. Okay. I knew. I knew there was something that. That I would understood from that. Got it.

[Matt Abeticola]

You've been great tonight. The stuff you've been reading on your own and sharing with us, we've all been really. I know you've been informed.

[Dan Bernstein]

You've been riveted on this. I know, but. That It's a crossword puzzle word.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right, we had enough crossword puzzle talk earlier.

[Dan Bernstein]

You asked, man. It's.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, man, get out of here, man. You asked about it, man.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right, this has gotta go.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm hungry.

[Matt Abeticola]

You should go eat something. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Which I eat.

[Matt Abeticola]

I love engaging in stupid guy.

[Dan Bernstein]

Cheddar, huh? Maybe fried rice Sounds good.

[Matt Abeticola]

Like fried rice.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, but if it doesn't, make your

[Matt Abeticola]

own or you're gonna get it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, no, I'd go to number one. Chop.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, there you go. Discount. That's what you need.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, it's number one. It's.

[Matt Abeticola]

It's number one.

[Dan Bernstein]

Chop suey. Every time the chop suey rankings come out, the one right near me is number one because.

[Matt Abeticola]

But who ranks it, though?

[Dan Bernstein]

The chop Suey ranking committee. It's number one. It's right here on Addison, and it's right around the corner. And she is very mean, but they always get the order right.

[Matt Abeticola]

This guy smoked some burgers,

[Dan Bernstein]

you know. You don't smoke burgers.

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, apparently he did. I mean, you can.

[Dan Bernstein]

I guess. I've never really heard of that before. Like, they roll them up and light them.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, he put him on his smoker. Instead of grilling them, why not just

[Dan Bernstein]

put them in a pan and do a smash burger?

[Matt Abeticola]

Well, because then stinky inside your house, that seems like a long process for a burger.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

When you could. Hey, man.

[Dan Bernstein]

Whatever, man.

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, that's right. Whatever, man. Enjoy. All right, let's go.

[Dan Bernstein]

We're done. Three.

[Matt Abeticola]

You're all welcome.

[Dan Bernstein]

Overnights. We could do that. I. I could. I could do this. From now until we record off the Ivy. What's the Cubs score?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yeah, you guys can do that because Marty's gonna come in. I'm gonna do this. They are.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, Marty is. Yeah. Cubs.

[Matt Abeticola]

Cubs are winning.

[Dan Bernstein]

They Had a whole one run.

[Matt Abeticola]

What's the score?

[Dan Bernstein]

It's one. Nothing.

[Matt Abeticola]

Who's up?

[Dan Bernstein]

I said the Cubs are by.

[Matt Abeticola]

How many?

[Dan Bernstein]

Would you stop?

[Matt Abeticola]

What inning are they in?

[Dan Bernstein]

I can't see bottom. Five or six. I don't know. One of these.

[Matt Abeticola]

You should do the whole show with a close up on your shoulder like that. I'm sure the kids liked it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, I'm trying to see the TV and I can't see the TV from here.

[Matt Abeticola]

You don't need to get so angry. I'm just saying.

[Dan Bernstein]

Not angry. I'm just hungry.

[Matt Abeticola]

Oh, are you getting hangry, Daniel? No.

[Dan Bernstein]

And there's basketball on, too, right? What are we. We're doing this instead of watching the Cubs and basketball?

[Matt Abeticola]

Yep. Your fault.

[Dan Bernstein]

It is my fault. It's the bear's fault.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right. Hey, thanks for being a part of this.

[Dan Bernstein]

Thank you. Well, it's my job.

[Matt Abeticola]

You. I was talking to them. Oh, them. Right there.

[Dan Bernstein]

Those people. Those people? Yeah.

[Matt Abeticola]

Those people are here again.

[Dan Bernstein]

If you're here for this, we love you.

[Matt Abeticola]

And you should. And you probably are good friends with the rowdies, too, because they're all coming over later tonight.

[Dan Bernstein]

All the rowdies are coming tonight? All my rowdy friends.

[Matt Abeticola]

Except for Janice. She's staying home.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't have any rowdy friends.

[Matt Abeticola]

Drink too much rose. Last time, the peach rose, too.

[Dan Bernstein]

The bottle through the drywall. Yeah. That's enough of this. Bang.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right, well, hey, thanks for listening and being a part of this stupidity. I mean, this is just one of the highlights of the year for me. The NFL schedule release.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, I know. It's. I can't get enough of it. And I thought this was going to be a 20 minute show and then you just kept talking. Oh, I.

[Matt Abeticola]

Don't blame me. Blame Tom.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, Tom.

[Matt Abeticola]

All right. You can close the show out anytime you want, mister.

[Dan Bernstein]

Why don't you want to do it? Why do I have to do it?

[Matt Abeticola]

Because that's why you're paid the big bucks.

[Dan Bernstein]

Close out the show. Oh, this has been your special live Bears schedule Release edition of Forward progress on 312 sports. Progress is stopped.

[Matt Abeticola]

Recording anymore progress. Chicago Bears with Dan Bernstein, 312 Sports.

[Dan Bernstein]

I thought we were done.

[Matt Abeticola]

No, now we're done.