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A
Everybody talked about it since I first moved to Oregon. The big one. The earthquake that trashed the whole West Coast. Total destruction.
B
Officially calling it the largest natural disaster in American history.
A
I just didn't know what would help me next. So I took it all. Even the gun. It was time.
B
Cello.
C
See why American Afterlife is the number
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one fiction and drama podcast in America.
C
Presented by pair of thieves.
B
Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to your favorite, favorite shows. Available now.
D
A support group for barely functioning adults. It's the Dave and Mahoney Show.
B
You know, I did a phone sex operator. Did she know that you were dating?
D
They would have to go into like
B
a call center, cubicles and stuff like that. Imagine having phone sex with some lonely guy while you're sitting in a cubicle. Do you think that it would make you more competitive? Did you have to ding the bell? Yeah, I got one. He's done. Oh, my gosh.
D
Grab the Dave and Mahoney podcast. Now on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify and at Dave&Mahoney.com.
E
if you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
B
I mean, if you're a Bears fan, you're thinking forward progress. Come on.
D
Forward Progress. A Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abeticola. On 31 2, sports.
B
We give you forward progress on 31 2, sports. And I just want the record to reflect that as a sign of my growing awareness and maturity. I just resisted the Matt Abaticola attempt to try to bait me into singing part of the theme from Mighty Mouse as he was starting the recording of the podcast.
F
I set you up, and I know you did. Very disappointing that you didn't respond.
B
I know sometimes I get distracted or I just. You, you kind of reach me on a subconscious level that in me singing or repeating what you say. But I didn't this time because I remembered what you were trying to do.
F
Yeah, because I, I, I said, all right, let's, let's start this. Let's see what happens here I come to save the day expecting that I
B
would do the same.
F
Just as you record. Yes.
B
Right.
F
But I waited for A few seconds, but I didn't.
B
Oh, and I need. Real quick. I need a ruling on this before we get into the football stuff.
F
Yes.
B
So Beth and I were doing the. The. She. She does the New York Times, like, word wheel or whatever it is where you come up with all the things, and, like, she does it in. And I clean everything up, and I get all the. All the words, but she had to reach, like. She's like, we got to reach genius level. I'm like, all right, give me. So we'll do it. And then she got mad at me, and she picks up her water bottle, and then she sets it down, and she says, you owe me one. And I said, what do you mean? She said, I was considering dumping this water on your head, but I didn't. So you owe me one. And I said, wait a second. No. You don't get credit for not doing something that you would have otherwise done. There's. There isn't some, like, oh, boy, You. You were going to dump water over my head. And the fact that you didn't. I owe you one. That's like, mob boss stuff.
F
Yeah. Like, what do you want?
B
You want an official ruling?
F
What are you looking for?
B
I don't. Like. Like, that's not that she doesn't get points for not doing something abusive to me, right?
F
Correct.
B
Okay. All right, good. No, we're good. We're good. Okay, that's good then. Fine. Okay. I just want to make sure I wasn't completely crackers on that.
F
Wait, why did she. Why did she want to dump water on you?
B
I don't know. Because we were doing the word game thing, and.
F
And I'm sure you were rude to her somehow. You're like, let me come in and clean it up for you. As you just stated a few seconds ago, maybe let me help you out with these words, dummy. I'm the smart guy. Come here, little lady.
B
Yeah, you just rest your pretty little head and let me. Let me finish up.
F
Yeah, why don't you go make me a sandwich? I'll finish up this.
B
I'll get all the tough words for you. No, she actually got more than I thought, actually. Wow. I kept forgetting I had to use. Because I didn't know. She gives me the letters and one of them's in the middle, and I don't. I. You have to use the one in the middle in any word, and I always forget which one she said was in the middle. So I had all these words without that letter. She got mad at me.
F
Any of the letters she gives you F and U or no?
B
Oh, yes. But not as part of that game.
F
No. I mean, even though I will take her side a majority of the time, if there's any kind of marital dispute.
B
Okay.
F
I would say she does not get credit for not doing something.
B
Thank you. Thank you. Because I was coming up with a list of all the things I also could do and didn't. And I.
F
And I.
B
But I wouldn't. And she knows I wouldn't. But I don't know.
F
All right, our guy, Matt Miller, he, He, he came out with his like, steals of the draft.
B
Did the Bears have one?
F
Well, he. The Bears had three, actually. Three.
B
No, they didn't have the steals of the draft. They did.
F
Dylan Thieman because he was projected to go in the top 20 and the fact that they were able to be patient and get him in the in at 25 was a steal. Malik Muhammad, the cornerback who expects to get reps this year and he says will, will be the starter by 2027 opposite Jalen Johnson. And the third is Keyshawn Elliott, the linebacker from Arizona State who was graded out to be a day two pick and the Bears got him in the fifth round.
B
All right, so I don't know how
F
that makes you feel.
B
It doesn't.
F
Well, I, that, that helps reinforce the idea of Ben Johnson and coaching staff coaching up the defensive line better and then maybe forcing the quarterback to hold the ball longer. So having these players on the back side of it might be more helpful.
B
Now you're playing games here, but that is everything I read all, every national piece that you read about an assessment of the Bears draft and. Or the biggest question facing the Bears is the obvious one. It's everything that they didn't do and everything that they said they could do to make up for the lack of new resources in the front seven. They're just going to coach them better.
F
Yeah.
B
And I, that, like I said, I've said before, I've never heard it before. Nerd. Anybody say that. They want the pressure on them to do that. Go ahead. That takes an unbelievable amount of confidence. And it also makes me wonder why you weren't coaching them the best you could beforehand.
F
Yeah. So it makes me excited to, you know, to see what these three rookies could do defensively. I know there's, there's some love for Sam Roush as well as a tight end and maybe a one day replacement for Cole Comet, who knows? But we do know that he's going to be featured a lot as they run a lot of. Of 13 personnel. So he'll be out there a lot with Cole, Comets and Colson Loveland. But I'm excited to see what these young, speedy rookies can do with the additions of the free agents on the defensive side of the football. So we're getting close. We're getting close to things being important and meaningful again. And yeah, if, you know, Matt Miller's excited on these guys. Well, let's. Let's see what they can do, what Dennis Allen can do with his new roster. Now, there are seven unsigned free agents still for the Bears.
B
Okay. Names.
F
All right. Ryan Bates, offensive lineman.
B
Bye.
F
Scott Daly, the long snapper. Nick McLeod, who did see playing time.
B
Bye.
F
Yep, I'm in. Obama. Miga, the linebacker.
B
I like him.
F
Yeah. I mean, he had. He was one of the. There was the one game where there was three rookie starters. Right. Wasn't he on there? Was he a starter?
B
Yes.
F
Hippolyte and Jackson.
B
Yeah, but Jackson's had a rookie.
F
Yes. Okay.
B
Yes.
F
Jalen Reeves, Maven. Other linebacker. Ricky Stromberg, offensive line. And Ty Summers, a linebacker.
B
The only one I really care about there is Scott Daly.
F
Yes.
B
Because he's been reliable and that's all he needs to be. So I would. That I don't know if somebody's going to come grab Scott Daly and double his salary to be reliable somewhere else. But. And I can't imagine that that would happen. That the market is not a volatile one for long snappers. Right. It's probably about what it. What what you pay a long snapper is what you pay a long snapper of a certain experience level. Right.
F
You know, the Bears did bring in an undrafted free agent long snapper.
B
Right.
F
Didn't they?
B
They did, yeah. We gave his name last week when we looked at the depth chart.
F
Yeah. And then somebody commented maybe on YouTube that he was some award or he won some.
B
The Patrick Manily Award.
F
Oh, is that what it was?
B
Yeah, I think it was the Patrick Manley award that was won by Luke Elkin.
F
Luke Elkin, that's right. Thank you.
B
Luke Elkin. Elkin, long snapper from Iowa.
F
Oh, yeah. Love those Iowa guys.
B
6, 1, 2, 35. Yes, they love those. And he looks like he would be a long snapper from Iowa. That guy just walked into a Chipotle. I'd point at him and I say that is a long snapper from Iowa because I just know it. You gave me. You gave a list. I've got a list.
F
You know, I love lists. I actually, I made a list between recordings here Made a list upstairs.
B
Spectacular.
F
A grocery list?
B
Yeah. What's on it?
F
Some items I need. Well, it was actually. I shouldn't say grocery list. It's. I'll say shopping list because it was like bathroom products. I need deodorant and mouthwash and that's.
B
So. Yeah, that's a CVS or Walgreens list is probably what that is.
F
Oh, no, I'll do it at Mariano's.
B
Really?
F
Yeah, I get. Yeah, I do their pharmacy stuff there. I'm not making an extra run to Walgreens or.
B
Oh, my. Because I am. I am. I am an all time CVS shopper. Even though our prescriptions aren't there anymore, I still go there. Even though all the prescriptions are Walgreens. My ability to dance through the discounts and. And get what's absolutely best for us through the. The CVS app. Okay. I'm. I'm an all star.
F
Yeah. Now if I. If I have groceries to get, then I'll just get that kind of stuff at Mariano's as well. If I specifically don't have to get groceries, I just need bathroom stuff. I'll go to Target.
B
Even despite what they've done with their policies. Yeah. So that's Target for me for now,
F
is out and paint me as a bad guy. Thanks.
B
I guess. I guess you are.
F
Well, I'm sorry, didn't you go to Home Depot this past weekend?
B
But I didn't buy anything.
F
But you still went. And you would have had they had the smoke alarm you're looking for because
B
it was our family's security.
F
So maybe it was bad of a guy as I am.
B
It was the safety of our family. It wasn't soap. So mine. Mine rose to a higher level of need.
F
You're such a.
B
So here's the list.
F
Yeah, give me your list. Let's get back on track here.
B
Selling jerseys among rookies in the NFL.
F
Okay, so this is best selling jersey 2024. Oh, okay. This is post draft.
B
Post draft according to fanatics. Among the drafted players.
F
All right, is Dylan Thieman on the list? Because my son wants one.
B
Dylan Thieman's ninth. Is he really?
F
Okay, yeah. Jackie wants a Thienamon jersey.
B
Why didn't you respond that way? Is he really? Yes, he is. Number one. Is Caleb Downs really the 11th overall pick? Cowboys safety Caleb Downs is number one.
F
Oh, it's a Cowboys thing, too.
B
That's actually. It's a Bears thing. Number two, Dolphins linebacker Jacob Rodriguez.
F
Really?
B
Number three, Cowboys linebacker Malachi Lawrence.
F
Again, Cowboys.
B
Number four, is going to blow your mind.
F
Diego Pavia.
B
No, Diego Pavia is not on the list. On this list.
F
I'm going to get one made.
B
I know you are. No, it is actually Steelers rookie quarterback drew all our.
F
Really?
B
The third round pick out of Penn State. But because it's a Penn State guy in that insane state in Pittsburgh, that is the number four overall.
F
That makes sense. Yeah. That's not a surprise at all.
B
Number five is Fernando Mendoza.
F
Okay. Mendoza. Yep. Very excited about going under center number six.
B
Yeah. And not going to the White House and coming up with a really good excuse.
F
You gotta practice.
B
Fernando Mendoza. Yeah. I can't miss practice.
F
Okay. His mom said he couldn't miss.
B
Number six, Dolphins cornerback Chris Johnson. Number seven, Cardinals running back, former Notre Damer Jeremiah Love.
F
Okay, like that makes sense.
B
Number eight, Patriots offensive lineman Caleb Lomu. I don't have anything to distract to have that. Right. Yes. They also. They give those away at wiener counseling.
F
Your 24 hour emergency date session.
B
And number nine, Bears safety Dylan Thienaman. Number 10, jets linebacker David Bailey.
F
David Bailey. All right, so obviously it's a Cowboys thing. Jacob Rodriguez, though. That's interesting. Yeah.
B
Everyone loves the guy, but yeah, Dolphins linebacker Jacob Rodriguez, number two.
F
Okay.
B
I don't know, maybe that's the. The combination. Maybe there's a demographic, you know, South Florida guy named Rodriguez. I don't know.
F
And then. So theta nine. And he's. He's gonna wear 31. Is that correct? Now, I saw. Because I saw a social media post. He had 31 on and Bryant was wearing two. Okay, do we know if that's. If that's official? Because I need to get one of those jerseys for Jackson.
B
I don't know. 31 is a. That, that's a. That's a goalie number. That's not a safety number. That's. I don't know if I like that for a safety.
F
What do you like for safety? I don't know.
B
It just doesn't feel right. Do you want to know the history of bears number 31?
F
Yeah. You know, that was my number in high school. I wore number 31.
B
Yeah. What position did you play? What would you play? Your ball?
F
I was, I was. I think initially I was thought of to be a defensive back, but I played defensive end.
B
All right, well, this is.
F
This is your number as an end.
B
Yeah, definitely. And that, that list of Bears 31s. Every player to wear 31 according to Bears Wire.
F
Who was it?
B
Jalen Jones, Tristan Ebner, Michael Joseph, Artavis Pierce, Marcus Williams. Marcus Cooper, I don't know half of these guys. Wait. Yeah. There's pictures of them. Chris. Ah. Chris Pruszynski. No, no.
F
All right. No, do this. He's gonna change the fortun. Number 31.
B
Don't give him the Chris Prinsinski number.
F
No, he. He's going to change 31 forever.
B
Hold on. Isaiah Fry, Brandon Merryweather.
F
Oh, oh, yeah, that's right.
B
Joshua Moore, Nathan Vasher.
F
Oh, yeah. Bash.
B
There we go.
F
See?
B
Damon Shelton, Rashan Salam, Mark Green, Greg Lasker, Bruce McCrae, Ken Taylor, Bill Knox, Ross Brubacher, Joe Fortunato. 1955-1966. Emerson Cole, Stu Clarkson, Paul Pod. Majerski, Len Aiken, Dick Schwiedler. You don't want to have it. No. You don't want a dick Schweedler. If your dick gets sweedled, you're in. You're in terrible, terrible trouble.
F
It's. It's a notch below exploding taint syndrome.
B
Yeah, yeah. Having dick Schweedler.
F
Yeah, yeah. It's bad. I mean, you're on a.
B
Like a. A variety of medications for a good decade to get your dick unshweedled.
F
You don't want that.
B
So there you go. There's all your number 30 ones, but
F
it's mostly forgettable or not Joe Fortunato, but Basher and Rashan Salam. Yeah.
B
And don't, don't, don't curse poor Dylan.
F
He'll change the fortune of 31.
B
Okay.
F
As a safety, he will change. If that's even his number. I don't even know.
B
Okay, good There. I'm glad we covered.
F
I saw the social media. It was a Bears post, so I'd assume, yeah, he's gonna do so that.
B
That'd be my bet, that he's gonna wear that number with pride, take it away from Jalen Jones. I'll probably have to give him, like, a Jolly Rancher or something to get the jersey from him.
F
Oh, I think 1350 in a. And a hot dog. Get it done.
B
Maybe they gotta go. The slice of Costco pizza. That'll do it.
F
Did you happen to see Malik Willis throw the first pitch out at a Marlins game?
B
No. Bad.
F
He claims that he slipped, which I don't remember seeing that he slipped in the video. It went 15ft over the catcher's head into the backstop. I don't know if he knew the, like, what the intent of the first pitch was.
B
Well, I mean, it was a guy sitting there giving you a target.
F
Maybe he didn't know. He didn't know that he was supposed to throw it to the guy that's behind home plate holding the glove.
B
Well, then we got a bigger problem
F
than actually they wanted him to see, like, hey, throw this as far and as hard as you can. And he just threw it into the net.
B
I don't know. Nope, that would. I know. If he doesn't know where it's supposed to go, then. Then we've got a much larger quarterbacking problem.
F
But he slipped, though, so it's fine.
B
Of course he did. It had to be that. All right, well, good luck to Malik Willis.
C
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F
All right, I hate to do this, too.
B
Why?
F
Because it's my guy, and I just. When I saw the photo of my guy, Diego Pavia at rookie mini camp for the Ravens go under center.
B
Do we know that that is an unretouched. Un. Real photo?
F
Okay, we don't. I don't know. That's a good question. And I'm hoping. I'm hoping that it's not. That was not accurate.
B
It.
F
Can you see me? See, I'll look up. You look up and see if you can.
B
It may be an abnormally tall center, right? Could it be? But the. I'm looking at different versions of the picture and they're all the same because there's one on Instagram, there's one on X and he. The long snapper is bending over and the top of the long snappers behind is at Diego Pavia's, the middle of his chest. So he. He's actually reaching his hands straight out instead of down and he's standing up.
F
Yeah, if
B
it's. It's. It's quite a thing. Like, he's. He is standing straight up in this one, and it may be an abnormally tall center.
F
Yeah. I mean, it doesn't look nearly as bad when he. When he gets in the shotgun. I'm looking at a picture here, but when he goes directly under center, it's. Oh, man, it's really. It's really hard. My, like, my heart aches a little bit. When I see that picture, like, I get a little bit of chest pains.
B
You have a cute angina.
F
I do. It is very cute. You should see it sometime. Yeah.
B
Good for you.
F
Like that is. It's not good.
B
No, it's. It's not good.
F
I mean, this guy's ass is literally at his chest.
B
And that is indeed Diego Pavia making sure it's not some kid with a Pavia jersey on. That is. That is he. And I guess that's how it looks.
F
Well, Jesse Minter said that he, you know, the doors open for him. This is his NFL door opening. And it's up to him to show the Ravens what he can do.
B
I'm sure he's ready to do it. And Roel and Javier will be cheering him on.
F
And he's battling with Connecticut quarterback Joe Finano, who's 6 4. Who's 6 4. Yeah. And looks all the part. Now, Minter did say that the number of quarterbacks they're going to carry could fluctuate. It could be three, it could be five, which. You wouldn't do that to a roster. You're not going to carry five guys.
B
But.
F
And you know, Mint, I think you said this last week. I didn't know this until you said it. I think you said it last week that Minter very good friends with Clark Lee, the head coach of Vanderbilt, and he even made. He, you know, talked about the fact that. Yeah. Has he done some things where he didn't, you know, hold himself the way that he's supposed to or could do better? He certainly has. But on the football side of things, they love everything. They've heard about his work ethic, getting into the building and practice and being a leader. But the size and all the around him that circles his universe is just. That's going to be too much, man. I know you think you can't throw a football. I know. I get it.
B
It's the throwing. He's a quarterback. I mean, I don't care how.
F
You can't not throw a. You can't. You can't be voted, like, the best quarterback in the sec.
B
You can and not.
F
And not be able to throw a court and then not be able to throw a football.
B
Sure, you can. You can win the Heisman Trophy and not be able to throw a football. Look at the history of the Heisman Trophy.
F
Well, I think you're going a little extreme. So you can't throw a football. Well, if there are some NFL throws you think he can't make, that's one thing but saying he can't throw a football is not accurate.
B
I'm just telling you. But look, look, look at the number of Heisman Trophy winners who just couldn't play NFL football.
F
Because I know there was a guy who won it twice and couldn't throw football at the NFL level. I get that. Correct. But he's a really nice young man.
B
There's several of them.
F
Does decent TV work, too, which is a surprise to me.
B
Don't talk about Danny Werfel that way. No, I know Tim Thibaut.
F
I know.
B
I voted for Tim Tebow, actually.
F
Yeah, well, you voted for most handsome player in the NFL.
B
I voted for most inspirational.
F
I believe that's right.
B
I gave a special award.
F
He was your life coach for a while.
B
He was. Because I believe that through football and just through his. His own piety, he was able to channel higher powers into the game of football and make his team more likely to win because of all powerful and all good omnipotent beings. Well, because that's why he's important.
F
Your group met in the room that was right next to the wandering Wiener counseling room, right?
B
Yeah, you don't want to get that mixed up.
F
Yeah, it overlapped.
B
You don't want to get that mixed up. I mean, both can help you. Obviously, the Tim Tebow worship room can help you, but not as. Not as much as Weiner.
F
But you're not worshiping Tim Tebow, though.
B
No, we're. No, we're not. We're not.
F
Well, anyway, those pictures, I just. It made me feel terrible.
B
Don't feel terrible. I think you have to say that. I disagree. I think this will be our finest hour. That it'll be somebody who is taking a snap from the center at eye level, who is going to lead that team to great things. He can just kind of receive it and walk up and he can. If he wants to. He can just put his face mask right in the guy's crack. Just.
F
And his butt.
B
Hey, how's it going? Hey, what's in here? Hey, what's on this side? There you go. Then he's got the football and he's running and he's running and he's running, and then he's sacked, and then his brother's arrested and put in the holding cell. They should do that. Like, if he. If he played in Philly, they could just put his brothers in the cell underneath the stadium before the game.
F
Well, if he makes the roster. If he's on the team and he. And he plays.
B
I'm telling. Nope, this Is it. You know how in the ocean's 11 when. When they put Danny Ocean, like, he's like, there's no way Danny Ocean's gonna rob me blind because we're gonna put him under here with this big, mean looking guy.
F
Yeah. Who's his buddy.
B
Is his buddy. But you don't know.
F
He's.
B
It's his buddy and he's there and he's supposed to beat him up. What's his name? Like Rupert or something? I forgot what his name.
F
Crusher.
B
It's something like that, yeah. Oh, what's his name? This is gonna kill me. Bruiser.
F
Bruiser. Bruise.
B
It's not Bruiser, though, is it?
F
No, I think it was Bruce, sir. He called him by his formal name. Yes, he was.
B
They were very formal about it, but they're gonna do that with Roel and Javier Pavia.
F
So I'm not tracking this now.
B
Right before the game.
F
Okay.
B
I'm saying. Right. Yes. So that they know Benedict is gonna know that it's not going to be a concern because they'll be there the whole time. They'll have somebody keeping an eye on him. And it's like, what, have you get robbed or something? He's not. He's not even going to know because they won't know because they'll be down. There will be no alcohol for them, and they won't be able to be disorderly and arrested. The game is over, and Diego Pavia has thrown for 360 yards and three touchdowns. And then they can come out and party and they can all go to the strip club together.
F
All right. It wasn't Bruce, sir. It was Bruiser.
B
It was Bruiser. Okay.
F
Former professional wrestler Scott L. Schwartz, which doesn't sound like a wrestler at all.
B
No, it sounds like his wrestling acting
F
name was like a CPA or something.
B
Comes out, right.
F
He's in a suit.
B
Look out for Scott Schwartz.
F
He'll. He'll do your taxes and body slam you. No. So if.
B
If they do find deductions that you didn't know existed, if, if they do
F
like, like, like halftime, scoreboard, like video games.
B
Yeah.
F
There's like the donut races, right? Like, they could do one like. Like they have images of the Pavia brothers running a track. But it ends, though, in a jail cell.
B
Right. But they're not. They're all running in opposite directions, and
F
then the police are chasing them.
B
Here come the Pavias. Will it be Roel?
F
That would be better if it was like a live action one, though, actually.
B
Like the sausage Tuni logos of each one. Will it be Javier or Diego? And everybody's looking at their ticket, you know, trying to. They're. They're.
F
So they're.
B
They're scanning in a QR code so they.
F
They can actually start in one end zone, one goal line. They have to make it to the other end zone without being tackled by the police.
B
First tackled. Tased. Or. Or they use one of those net guns on them
F
like the bad old Batman TV shows.
B
Or was it Total Recall where they get him with one of those. Oh, yeah, it was running on the tarmac. And then the van pulls up with Michael Ironside in it. It wasn't even in that movie. I don't know why he was in the van. No, he was just. You get the Pavia, and then whichever Pavia gets caught and doesn't escape. No, the one Pavia to escape actually wins. But then you got to get him back. And, you know, you don't get Poppy
F
as back after this. You know, speaking of Michael Ironside, it reminded me of the video that I sent you over the weekend. The. The origin story for Viper.
B
That's a great idea.
F
That's a great idea.
B
It is a great idea.
F
I don't know what that podcast was, but whoever those dudes are, they deserve some credit for if this were to happen. But an origin story. So you do Top Gun, Viper prequel. And it. And it goes back to. Yeah, the Vietnam War, where Viper is flying with Maverick's dad.
B
They're flying F4s, which is the coolest warplane of all time, too.
F
So I would. I think that would be a great story to write and do, and then
B
you can learn what was going. Yeah, but you. Would you have a young. Was Maverick born yet? Would you have, like, baby Maverick at home with his mom? There's all kinds of things you could do.
F
Because didn't. Didn't his dad disappear during the Vietnam War?
B
Did he disappear? I didn't know.
F
He just.
B
He disappeared.
F
Yeah, I thought. I thought he died. Didn't it? What's the story in Top Gun where he. He's gone.
B
That's your story.
F
But I think. I think my. Why do I think that? So then. Yeah, so you have to have a young Maverick. Okay.
B
You get that kid from the show Adolescence. That's the best young actor it's probably ever walked.
F
No, no, no, no, no, no. Tom Cruise could play the young Maverick.
B
Just de age him artificially. Right.
F
Well, he's continuing that. Yeah, you just speed it up a little bit, because that's what he's doing already.
B
He's the right size. Who's bigger, Tom Cruise or Diego Pavia? Probably about the same. Tom Cruise, I think. I think they're almost identical. Five, nine, right.
F
Cruz is five, seven.
B
Oh, five, seven. So he's two inches shorter than Diego Pavia.
F
So he'd be able to walk right under that center's.
B
Yeah, I want to find out who that center is, too. It might just be that. That center. 7 4.
F
Yeah, I think that center was. It was when Binyama.
B
It might be somebody enormous because that. Even that did look a little odd.
F
Yeah. That's why there was a good question about if it was doctored or not, because Bryce Young.
B
Bryce Young is only a half an inch taller, and Bryce Young doesn't look like that. Kyler Murray is the same height. He doesn't look like that, does he? Who was that center?
F
Is that the long. No, that's not the long snapper. Because he's going under center, right?
B
Well, it could be. I mean, you never know who you're taking snaps from in practice. I could have people out there doing stuff, but he's just.
F
Yeah, it's rookie camp, so that wouldn't have been Linderbaum.
B
No, that's not Linderbaum. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe they've got us. They got a 76 center in football
F
position. Open competition. Danny Pinter, Corey Bullock. Like I'm gonna know.
B
Like I'm gonna hear one of these names. Be like, yes, I know for sure. That guy's six eight.
F
You should. Dan, you're hosting a football show.
B
Yep.
F
Right?
B
That's fine. I'm just trying to know the Bears. I'm doing my best trying to know. You don't even know that I'm trying. I'm going to. I'm gonna know all these guys because they're all going to be scoring so many damn points here.
F
Let's get this. Let's get back on track. Real quick, give me Pete Prisco's thing.
B
Yeah, I do Pete Prisco's power rankings.
F
Oh, yeah. Powering. That's what it was.
B
He has the Bears 10th.
F
Out of how many?
B
Seriously? Come on, man.
F
Do you even know?
B
32.
F
Okay. I didn't know if you knew.
B
He has the Bears 10th and he says they didn't address the front seven on defense until the sixth round, which was strange.
F
Not true. They did address it. They're going to coach better.
B
That means they need big steps forward from some young players.
F
I think they're going to get that. And Then the rotation of the free agents they signed. I think the I'm gonna. Bold prediction. Dan, are you ready for a bold prediction segment?
B
I'm always ready for a bold prediction.
F
You have your bold prediction. No, was I think the Bears will lead the NFL in sacks next year.
B
Wait, you said bold or bad predictions?
F
Bold. It's a bold prediction.
B
Okay. I'd say it's a bad prediction. They're not going to lead the league in sacks next year.
F
You watch. Because they're going to coach them up different.
B
How much you want to bet
F
another steak dinner? Boom.
B
No, no, no, no. You can't mess around with this. You are not actually betting a steak dinner that the Bears are going to lead the league in sacks, are you?
F
Oh, you scared to take the bet? That's fine. We don't have to do it.
B
Oh, I know. I'll take it.
F
Okay.
B
Are you offering it? And all I have to do is have the Bears not lead the league in sacks and I get a steak dinner.
F
Bad bet for me.
B
It's a terrible bet for you.
F
Yeah, I don't want to. All right, let's. How about $5 instead?
B
Fine.
F
Okay.
B
I'll take whatever I can get.
F
All right. Yeah.
B
$5 there. You might as well give it to me now.
F
The Chicago Bears will lead the NFL in sacks next year.
B
Sacks buy their defense, not times their own quarterback is sacked.
F
Fine, buy their defense.
B
Yes.
F
Okay. Yeah.
B
I don't know why you would just hand me $5, but I will absolutely take it.
F
Because I'm a Bears fan, Dan, and I'm making a bold prediction, okay. Because I support the coaching staff coaching better. I think that's going to make all the difference in the defensive line.
B
I support it, too. I would love for that to be true. That all of a sudden, Ben Johnson. You know what? We're going to coach these same players. We're going to coach them better, and they're going to be more effective.
F
All right? Okay. Okay. Let's do this. How about let's. Let's. Let's go for real. Let's get some real stakes here. On it. Pun intended. Did you get it? Because I said the real. Real steaks, and we'll do a steak dinner, and it's. So the steaks are for real. I'm sorry. I don't think you are sitting a place that you can. You can judge my dumb comments and jokes.
B
Of course I can. That's. What.
F
You live in a community with me.
B
Yeah, that's true. We are a special home for aging Punsters. Yes.
F
Let's go with Bears finish in the top five
B
in sacks.
F
In sacks.
B
For steak dinner.
F
For steak dinner.
B
And all I have to do is have them not finish in the. In the top five.
F
Six if they six to 32, you win. I'll take one through five Bears sacks because I believe and I support our coaching staff more than you do. I will say bears finish in the top five in sacks.
B
You're wrong, and I will bet on that.
F
All right, so we'll go steak dinner. Boom.
B
All right. You're in a mood. You're in a. You're in a generous mood.
F
Well, I'm. I'm trying to be supportive.
B
Or you were taking PCP before we started this podcast. I mean, like, what the hell kind of stupid ass bed is that?
F
Because I support the coaching staff. I'm a real fan, Dan.
B
Fan that just spent a lot of money feeding me.
F
I. Well, I get to pick the restaurant. I believe that's right.
B
We can go to Ronnie's right down the street for steak. I don't care.
F
I believe that with the addition of the players they drafted, which was the best draft class in NFL history, the quarterbacks will hold the ball longer. With better coaching, the defensive players will get to the quarterback more often for more sacks.
B
All right. I think that that's going to be our dumbest bet of the year.
F
It's still early in the calendar day.
B
I know that far. I would. I would get the hardware ready for that one. I'd start engraving the Stanley cup of bad bets on that one right now. Put the names on there.
F
Well, when I win that bet, you're going to be the one laughing. And all the comments geared at you for not supporting the Bears, you're going
B
to be the one laughing. I'm not going to be the one laughing. If I. If I got to pay for a steak dinner because the Bears finished top five in sacks, and I have to pay for a dinner because. Because Pavia takes a snap, you're gonna
F
owe me two steak dinners before this season's over.
B
Yeah. Okay. So you got Pavia getting a step this year, even.
F
Yes.
B
Wow. We didn't even bet this year. Mine was.
F
No, no. We're not specific on it. It's just any. He has to get an NFL snap.
B
Oh, okay. And also, I want to mention this, too, that we have refreshed the rewards page and the 312Sports app. If you do not have the 312Sports app, I don't know why you don't. Because it's free. It's in the Apple App Store and Google Play. You can also find this stuff at 312-sports.com. but it's so much easier when the app is just there. It takes two seconds to download and you got it. So we have given out the. The steak dinner.
F
Boom.
B
For RPM Steak. We gave out Il Porcellino. RJ Grunts. We had six people win tickets to see Wu Tang Clan. But now we have dinner for two at Giordano's. We have dinner for two at Capital Grill. We have dinner for two at Anaco Postoffice. And we have tickets to see Weezer the Gathering tour with the Shins and Silver sun pickups Sept. 22 at the United Center. So get the app. Go to the rewards page. Enter the promo code Matt M A T T. That is the promo code. Just like Matt of Atticola. Enter the promo code Matt for any of those things and you just might win. Don't forget to visit the Pro Shop to 312Sports.Pro Shop with all sorts of gear and clothing and swag with the 312 Sports logo on it and our colors. Make sure you are adorned in all things. 3, 1, 2.
F
I was going to ask you earlier and I forgot when you mentioned this. The rewards for May. The. The silver Silver Shins. The what is it? The Silver Shins.
B
Silver Sun Pickups.
F
Okay. Silver Sun Pickups. And you're familiar with both of these groups prior to the announcement of this contest?
B
I am. I am.
F
Actually, I'm not. I'm not familiar with the Shins or the Silver Sun Pickups. Okay.
B
Not at all. They're. They were both XRT bands. The Shins are. Are played often on there. And the Silverstone pickup song that you might know is Panic Switch.
F
I'd have to hear it. I wouldn't know by title.
B
Yeah, you would probably know the song Panic Switch.
F
Okay, I'll give it a listen.
B
And yeah, the Shins are kind of the kind of singer, songwritery, folky, indie rock actually, from Albuquerque. So they probably know the Pavias.
F
Oh, I wonder if they'll be there.
B
That would be. My guess is because they are the pride of Albuquerque that somehow they're connected to the Pavia family. I don't know.
F
We can get the Pavias in like a suite for that concert. That'd be great.
B
Could you imagine? Yeah, that'd be pretty intense if. All right, so you.
F
You knew these bands? I didn't.
B
I didn't.
F
I didn't know. All right, I'll. I'll Take a listen.
B
Well, you know Weezer?
F
Well, yeah, Weezer. I know. I like Weezer a lot, but I'd never heard of the other two, and I assume that you had. But I wanted to ask without assuming, but I did. And I was correct.
B
No, I. I think. I think the Shins are very, very good. I enjoy them. They've had a lot of different people in the band. They're primarily a guy named James Mercer, who really is the band. And then it's just a rotating group of people around him. But he's. He's pretty much the Shins.
F
All right. Okay. Yeah, I agree. I agree with you.
B
It's not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing, but I do agree, so.
F
Well, let's just agree to disagree on this. That we agree.
B
I'm not quite sure what I'm agreeing to or disagreeing with. I just know that I'm about to have a steak dinner and $5. And all this because you trust the Bears. Pass rush a lot more than I do.
F
Wait, how you. No, you're not getting steak dinner and $5.
B
Why not?
F
You can't afford both.
B
You made both bets.
F
Changed that. We changed the bet from the $5 to a steak dinner.
B
Okay.
F
But it was. Yeah, they have to finish the top five.
B
Okay.
F
Sex.
B
Which they won't.
F
We didn't say which season, though.
B
This season. We didn't say. Don't know. You're not pulling any of this weasel crap now. You know the bet you made. Everybody's with me on this one. Oh.
F
Even if people knew that I was wrong, that no one, not everyone, would be with you, people would deliberately be against you just because it's you.
B
People. People. Even people. Rarely with me going, you know, I hate Bernstein's guts, but I gotta side with him on this one. You made the bet there, champ. That's what's gonna happen. I don't like Bernstein, but. But, yeah, that's what it'll be. All right, fine.
F
All right, that does it for ford.
B
Progress on 312 sports. Forward progress is stopped.
D
Forward Progress, a Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abeticola on 312 Sports.
Episode: Diego Pavia - a stretch to make the Ravens roster | Chicago Bears steal of the draft
Hosts: Dan Bernstein & Matt Abbatacola
Date: May 4, 2026
Podcast Network: 312 Sports
This episode packs the signature wit and analysis of Chicago sports legends Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola, focusing on two headline topics:
The hosts also dive into jersey sales among rookies, some history and quirks around Bears' jersey numbers, and finish with bold (and not-so-bold) bets about next season's defensive line performance.
[05:08 – 07:46]
Matt Miller’s “Steals of the Draft” Shout-Outs:
Matt Miller listed three Bears rookies as “steals” of the 2026 draft:
Bernstein is unfazed:
"It doesn't" [in response to being asked how he felt about it]
Still, both agree the new defensive staff will need to “coach them better” to make up for a lack of new resources for the front seven.
"It also makes me wonder why you weren’t coaching them the best you could beforehand." (Bernstein, 06:41)
Excitement for rookies:
Focus on how free agents and rookies can re-shape the defense.
"I’m excited to see what these young, speedy rookies can do with the additions of the free agents on the defensive side of the football."
[07:46 – 09:38]
Seven unsigned: Ryan Bates, Scott Daly, Nick McLeod, Obinna Eze, Jalen Reeves-Maybin, Ricky Stromberg, Ty Summers.
Main concern is long snapper Scott Daly:
"The only one I really care about there is Scott Daly ... That the market is not a volatile one for long snappers." (Bernstein, 08:33)
Undrafted rookie long snapper Luke Elkin won the Patrick Manley Award.
[11:33 – 16:13]
Dylan Thieneman (#9 in post-draft jersey sales):
List includes Caleb Downs (Cowboys S), Jacob Rodriguez, and more. Bears fans are buzzing, especially Matt’s son:
"My son wants one … Jackie wants a Thieneman jersey." (Abbatacola, 11:55)
Jersey number banter (#31):
"He’ll change the fortune of 31." (Abbatacola, 15:56)
[19:12 – 24:56]
First impressions at Ravens rookie minicamp:
"He is standing straight up in this one, and it may be an abnormally tall center." (Bernstein, 20:21)
"My heart aches a little bit. When I see that picture, like I get a little bit of chest pains." (Abbatacola, 20:36)
Size deficit is glaring even compared to other short QBs (Bryce Young, Kyler Murray).
Coaching connections & intangibles not enough:
"He’s a quarterback. I don’t care how [athletic he is], if he can’t throw..." (Bernstein, 22:38)
"You can’t be voted like, the best quarterback in the SEC and not be able to throw a football." (Abbatacola, 22:45)
Tim Tebow tangent:
"You can win the Heisman Trophy and not be able to throw a football. Look at the history..." (Bernstein, 22:55)
Comedic detour:
[31:50 – 35:56]
Pete Prisco’s Power Rankings:
Bears listed 10th out of 32.
Matt’s Bold Prediction:
“The Bears will lead the NFL in sacks next year.” (Abbatacola, 32:38)
"It also makes me wonder why you weren’t coaching them the best you could beforehand."
(Bernstein, 06:41)
(On Bears’ confidence that improved coaching will fix defensive issues.)
"He’s going to change the fortune of 31 forever."
(Abbatacola, 15:56)
(On Dylan Thieneman’s prospects wearing jersey #31.)
"He is standing straight up... and the long snapper's behind is at Diego Pavia’s chest."
(Bernstein, 20:21)
(Describing the viral minicamp photo.)
"My heart aches a little bit. When I see that picture, I get a little bit of chest pains."
(Abbatacola, 20:36)
"You can win the Heisman Trophy and not be able to throw a football. Look at the history..."
(Bernstein, 22:55)
"The Bears will lead the NFL in sacks next year."
(Abbatacola, 32:38)
(Leading to a steak dinner bet.)
| Time | Topic/Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:08 | Bears’ "steals" in the draft – analysis | | 07:46 | Unsigned Bears free agents and long snapper drama | | 11:33 | Rookie jersey sales leaderboard | | 14:20 | Discussion of Dylan Thieneman and Bears’ #31 jersey history | | 19:12 | Diego Pavia’s prospects (and minicamp photo, viral moment) | | 22:38 | Can Pavia—or Heisman winners—play QB in the NFL? | | 31:50 | Pete Prisco’s power rankings & Bears’ D-line skepticism | | 32:38 | Bold prediction: Bears will lead NFL in sacks (steak bet) |
Tone: True to Bernstein & Abbatacola style: sharp, irreverent, deeply knowledgeable, with inside jokes and Bears' nostalgia.
Takeaway:
This episode is a must-listen for Bears fans—especially those craving both rational breakdowns and the passionate, sometimes ridiculous, optimism that comes with every new draft class.