NFL games belong in DOMES | Sharks in Olympic swimming | Super Bowl XX

Summary

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Forward Progress - A Chicago Bears Podcast

Episode: NFL games belong in DOMES | Sharks in Olympic swimming | Super Bowl XX
Date: January 26, 2026
Hosts: Dan Bernstein & Matt Abbatacola

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the main theme: Why NFL football should be played indoors, focusing on how poor weather negatively impacts the quality and fairness of critical games. Bernstein and Abbatacola also take hilarious detours—debating the logic behind “football weather,” discussing famous Bears and NFL moments, poking fun at coaching hires, riffing on sports played in ridiculous conditions (including Olympic swimming with sharks), and celebrating the anniversary of Super Bowl XX.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Case for Domed NFL Games

• Outdated Notions of “Football Weather”:
  • Bernstein reignites his long-standing argument against weather-impacted football, referencing the snowy Denver game (00:22–04:12).
  • “We don’t do it to any other sport. We don’t start a hockey game and turn the heat up in the stadium so the ice starts to melt… Why do it to football?” — Matt Abbatacola (02:03)
• Impact on Game Quality:
  • Both hosts argue that snow and other extreme conditions make games unfair and lower the quality of play.
  • “No one wants to watch shitty football. And that’s exactly what that was.” — Matt Abbatacola (04:15)
  • Legendary “bad weather” games (like the “Fog Bowl”) are remembered for oddity, not greatness.
• Unintended Randomness:
  • Weather introduces unnecessary randomness—missed kicks, lost footing, and “unjust and unfair” outcomes (02:41–05:55).
  • The NFL’s investment should demand showcase-level play, not chaos.

2. NFL’s Hypocrisy About Weather

• Super Bowl Locations:
  • The NFL keeps Super Bowls out of weather-risk cities for entertainment certainty, not football quality (14:06–15:14).
  • “They don’t want everybody whipping in the wind… Bruno Mars would blow away… Bad Bunny flies away.” — Dan Bernstein (14:14)
• Playoff Contradictions:
  • Critical playoff games remain exposed to elements, undermining arguments about reward for regular-season success.

3. Coaching Carousel & Quarterback Development Satire

• Mike McCarthy's Hiring and “Quarterback Development” Claims:
  • The hosts lampoon McCarthy’s claim of developing Joe Montana (17:04–22:19).
  • “Did you imagine… ‘Hey Joe, I want to show you some video. Oh, you’re the video guy?’” — Dan Bernstein (19:27)
  • The bit evolves into an ongoing joke: any coach claiming credit for legendary QBs’ greatness.
  • “Until he got a hold of him, Montana was throwing lefty.” — Matt Abbatacola (20:21)

4. Around the NFL: Coaching Searches & Quarterbacks

• Other Openings and Odd Hires:
  • Quick breakdown of the Browns, Raiders, Bills, and Cardinals situations (26:11–30:16).
  • Brief jokes about owners not remembering names and fans trying to bring back Sean McDermott.

5. Comparisons: Weather in Other Sports

• Poking Holes in Tradition:
  • The hosts hilariously suggest imposing similarly absurd handicaps on other sports (34:06–36:09).
  • “Olympic swimming, but with piranhas.” — Dan Bernstein (36:16)
  • Pro golf “putting through goose shit,” NBA three-legged races, outdoor Stanley Cup Finals.

6. Light-Hearted Tangents & Nostalgia

• Reminiscing about Bears, Super Bowl XX:
  • Short anniversary shoutout to the Bears’ legendary win (15:30–15:53).
• Pop Culture: Star Wars Bits:
  • Banter about Tauntauns, the Wampa, and Bill Hader’s impersonation (37:40–39:28).
• Inside-Radio Stories:
  • Stories about Terry Boers, Murph, and radio show antics add old-school Chicago sports flavor (40:01–41:33).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Weather-Impacted Football:
  “What we now know as football was as meant to be played inside as basketball. Period.”
  — Dan Bernstein (02:41)

• On Coaching Hires:
  “He developed Joe Montana? He should have said he developed Terry Bradshaw, but then they might have… ‘Really? You did?’”
  — Dan Bernstein (21:13)

• On Super Bowl Venue Logic:
  “They don’t want Bruno Mars blowing away during the halftime show. So it’s got nothing to do with football.”
  — Matt Abbatacola (14:14)

• On Athletics & Hypocrisy:
  “Why do they get to play in ideal conditions? But the—arguably—the most violent sport that humans play, we’re gonna challenge them even further.”
  — Matt Abbatacola (36:09)

• On Olympic Swimming:
  “I got a better idea. Olympic swimming, but with piranhas.”
  — Dan Bernstein (36:16)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Domes & NFL Weather Rant: 00:22–07:58
• Why Aren’t Super Bowls in Bad Weather Cities?: 13:59–15:23
• Super Bowl XX Shoutout: 15:28–15:53
• Mike McCarthy “Developed Joe Montana” Bit: 16:03–22:19
• NFL Coaching Carousel: 25:05–30:16
• Comparisons with Other Sports (Goose Poo, Sharks, Etc.): 34:06–36:34
• Olympic “Danger Sports” Riff: 36:09–37:40
• Star Wars Pop Culture Segment: 37:40–39:30
• Inside Radio Anecdotes: 40:01–41:33
• Closing Arguments for Domes: 41:42–42:28

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Tone & Style

• Language: Candid, irreverent, passionate, laced with humor and sarcasm.
• Dynamic: Banter-heavy but insightful, with strong, clear opinions and colorful analogies.
• For Listeners: Equal parts analysis and entertainment—ideal for football diehards and fans of old-school Chicago sports media alike.

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Final Takeaway

Football is too important—and the athletes too elite—to be governed by the randomness of weather. Every NFL stadium should have a domed field so the players, fans, and the game itself get the best possible showcase—just like every other major sport. The time for ‘Bear Weather’ is over.

Transcript

[A]

I mean, if you're a Bears fan, you're thinking forward progress. Come on. 10, 2, 19.

[B]

2, 19. Forward progress, a Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abeticola on three one two Sports.

[A]

Welcome to Forward Progress here on three one two Sports. And real quick in. If you are tuning in because you're saddened by the recent news, the passing of Terry Bors on Friday, make sure you tune in to dbu because we devoted all of DBU today to remembering Terry. And if that is for what you are looking, that should be where you go. And we're going to take this time to move back into the weekend in football. What's going on with the Bears, what's going on in the NFL? And you know, for years, for years I have told you that I think snow games mostly suck. That the idea of all the elements and these teams can get out there, bear weather the elements, and this is what football is. And I, and I, I think this was hell during the Greatest show on Turf, Mike Mart's Rams and Dick Vermeil. And I'm like, man, these people should never have to play out in snow. Yep. Because. And the game started changing. And we now know the game is about speed and power. You can't have speed. You can't have power without footing. It renders everything meaningless and stupid. When you're playing in the stuff that they were playing in yesterday in Denver, it's, it's, it's, it's silly to take all of what we talk about and care about and all the money that's invested and everything that's involved and make that into something that matters.

[B]

It's old. It's an old way of thinking that these are gladiators and these are warriors and they're going to fight in the elements. We don't do it to any other sport. We don't start a hockey game and then turn the heat up in the stadium so the ice starts to melt. We don't have the greatest tennis players competing on a court that has potholes in it. Like, we don't do it to any other sport. Why do it to football when you have arguably your greatest athletes doing the hardest things in sports and then you're going to challenge them to compete in elements that make it less than ideal for them to compete at their highest level.

[A]

It ends up with something unjust and unfair often. And when you raise the level of race, randomness and uncertainty and luck, it's not fair to anybody involved. It isn't fair to the people who couldn't see anything that was going on. It's not fair to the kickers. It's not fair to the players. It's antiquated. And for whatever, romance, nostalgia, whatever you think is something grand and glorious, I also will tell you that it's a stupid, pointless waste of time that makes everybody wonder what they're doing and why they're doing it. What we now know as football was as meant to be played inside as basketball. Period. I don't mind a nice day outside. If you can be sure it's a nice day outside, great. But there should be a retractable dome everywhere at a minimum. Right?

[B]

I mean, just the simple fact that weather can contribute to the way a game plays out shouldn't be that way. It just. It shouldn't be that way. If the lights went off in a. In a stadium, in a. In a. At the United center during a Bulls game, they're not going to keep playing.

[A]

Oh, play through it. That's what you do. And there's.

[B]

There's emergency lighting on. They can see well enough. No, you would. You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't have that happen. If there was an ice condition at the UC for a Hawks game, they're not going to say, oh, just keep on playing and play through it.

[A]

They canceled the Bulls game the other night because of condensation on the court because guys were falling down, slipping.

[B]

Keep playing.

[A]

Right. Why not play through that?

[B]

Play through that. You know, it really challenges you. No, it's stupid. It's really stupid. Yeah. Every stadium in the NFL should have a retractable dome so that way you can play in ideal weather conditions so that these guys can perform at their best, because that's what you want to see. No one wants to watch shitty football. No one wants to. And that's exactly what that was. It was shitty football. And if you enjoyed it, then mentally, you're not where you need to be in 2026 to enjoy sports.

[A]

And, yes, the fog ball sucked, too.

[B]

Yeah, that was terrible, too.

[A]

It was aw. Nobody could see anything. Nobody knew what was going on. We remember it because it was unique, but that doesn't mean that it was good. It was good, right? We remember it because it was weird.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just. I'm tired of it. I'm absolutely tired of it. And for the NFL to sit there and say, this is our product that we're putting out. This was the game that got you into the super bowl or not, it's not cool. It's not. It's Not. It's not. It's not. Oh, look at how they really fought through the elements. There's no point to that. Have them fight through each other and not the snow and not a slippery condition. It was even.

[A]

Who.

[B]

Who do I have here? I have. Drake May was asked about that. You're definitely a little slick, I think. Definitely a little slick. It's hard for, you know, when it's grass for it to, you know, I think underneath with the heaters, like our stadium does. It's hard with grass, I guess, you know, to do that. But no, I think, you know, it was good enough on the last. The last run to get around the edge. And I think, you know, other than that, we, you know, had some times where we had some chances to score, and I think we got to help our defense out more.

[A]

But, hey, it is what it is.

[B]

And.

[A]

And that was, man, it's awesome going super bowl, so I can't complain.

[B]

Like, you don't. You don't want the starting quarterback of the team. Of your team going to the super bowl to say, it was just good enough. Like, the footing was just good enough.

[A]

Yeah, except that one time when. When Ramon. Ramon Ray Stevenson falls down and you fall down.

[B]

Right, because the. The footing wasn't good enough. Like, you don't want that. No, like, mistakes happen on their own. Athletes fall. You don't want the weather to be the contributing factor of why they can't execute a football play. It's stupid. And I just. I don't like the people that like it and think, oh, that's what football really is meant to be. Why? Why was that what football's meant to be? You want to know why? Because they didn't have domes. And things change. People also died from measles. You know what I mean?

[A]

I think you go immediately to preventable disease. Yeah, we're bringing measles back. No, it's coming back. Careful. People are going to want all the bad stuff we got rid of. People now want back.

[B]

Well, I know it's what the administration is trying to. But it's like, yeah, people used to die of measles because there wasn't a vaccination for it. People stopped dying from measles. Doesn't mean that we should keep doing that, because that's how it used to be done. Oh, you got the measles. People fucking died of scurvy. Like, God damn it.

[A]

We used to do surgery without anesthesia.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We should bring that back.

[B]

Well, we could repair his leg, but they used to just Cut it off. Well, take it off then. That's how we used to do it.

[A]

That's a tough thing to do. That's what I grew up with.

[B]

Let's modernize a little bit.

[A]

Stupid. It really is, it just, it's. It was maddening yesterday. It was maddening to watch that game and then to hear Nance and Romo fumbling around to try to explain what was going on. Well, the wind, the wind. There wasn't any wind. It was the damn snow. They couldn't run. These are the greatest athletes in the world. Some of these guys, the combination of speed and power, what they are being asked to do, the delicate movements, the tips of their toes, their fingertips, everything they're being asked to do while other 275 pound guys running four fours are trying to take their heads off. And you have them flipping and flopping around out there. Why?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Why? It's bad.

[B]

Yeah. And don't you know. And we. I'm not, I'm not even going to the bear weather thing.

[A]

Forget that. But the good news is that we got to watch the super bowl. Two weeks before the Super Bowl. That was that.

[B]

Yeah, that was it. NFC game.

[A]

That second game was the super bowl. And congratulations to the super bowl champion Seattle Seahawks because they're good and that was a fun game. And they were coming up and down the field and there were great passes being thrown and plays being made and stars making plays, coaches doing their things. That was fun. That was worth. That's what football looks like.

[B]

Matthew Stafford in the locker room after the game was over. Matthew, can you walk us through the.

[A]

Curtain for down there?

[B]

No.

[A]

I can't. Go ahead.

[B]

Matthew, can you walk us through the.

[A]

Third and fourth down there?

[B]

No.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Good for him. Well, good for him.

[B]

First of all, it breaks, it breaks the rule that we have. Can you walk us through? Can you talk about. Ask a question about it?

[A]

Exactly. That's what I'm absolutely. With Stafford, if there's ever a moment to be a dick about it like that, you want to do the John Tortorella and he would say. John Tortorella would say, ask me a question. Don't say talk about. Yeah, ask me a question. Don't say talk about. Can you take us through? No, I can't.

[B]

Matthew, can you walk us through the third and fourth down there? No.

[A]

I can't. Go ahead.

[B]

Yeah, ask a question.

[A]

Well done.

[B]

I knew you'd like that.

[A]

Well done. Matthew Stafford. I love that.

[B]

Ask a question.

[A]

Ask who, what, when, where, why How?

[B]

Can you walk us through? I can. Yes.

[A]

Yeah, I can. I'm not going to. Well, yeah, no, no, at the moment I can't.

[B]

And then Sean Payton was asked about why they didn't go for it, the field goal. Why they went for it on fourth down, fourth and one, when they could have kicked a very easy field goal. Before this is before the weather even started. It was, it was at that, when it was the first quarter, it was at that point where I'm watching the game we're streaming on our phone because we had, what do we have? We had four basketball games yesterday and I'm watching with another dad and I made a comment, I'm like, God, they're lucky. It's so nice. Like what nice weather they have there. Grass is green, the sky's blue, it's sunny, beautiful, you know. And then the shit came. But why not, why not take the field goal there and go up 10 nothing when you have that defense and your backup quarterback went and taken a snap in two years, had a seven nothing lead, you could go up 10 nothing.

[A]

And you have on your phone radar that tells you what, what the weather might be.

[B]

Right, Maybe he doesn't, but someone does.

[A]

That's really incred that you can get up to the minute probabilities of how the weather could change.

[B]

Hey, there's a, there's a big front coming through. There's a big storm, huge snow coming. Snow coming through the second half and it's beautiful skies, clear blue sky and you have a, you have a chance to go up 10 to zero. Do you have regrets for not taking the field goal and going up to nothing?

[A]

There's always regrets, you know. Yeah. I mean, look, felt like, you know, here we are fourth and one. We felt close enough that. And it's, and it's also a call you make based on the team you're playing and watching on the other side of the ball. So yeah, there'll be, there'll always be second thoughts.

[B]

So I get what he's saying there because he's like, oh, they're probably going to score points, we need to score points. I don't like that type of thinking. You know, you look at the other side of the. I say, hey, yeah, look at the other side. Look what they've done in the playoffs so far offensively. And if I give my defense a 10 nothing lead, what is that team on the other side going to do?

[A]

It's also again, knowing what's coming.

[B]

Like you can't.

[A]

If I can, if I can bank 10 points if I, if I can, Abs. Just, just have them.

[B]

They're not taking them away knowing there's a blizzard coming.

[A]

If I can bank 10, I'm good.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But this whole idea of, my God, like, what if they scored touchdown after. Like, you can't think that way. It's not a good way of thinking. Like, oh, I'm going to have to match what these guys are going to do. You don't know what they're going to do. Here's what you can control right now in the moment to go up 10 nothing. I mean, Drake May could break his leg on the very next play and you're up 10 nothing. Where it's a two score game. Take the points there, man. I just, I don't get it. I didn't get it at all. Yeah, that's a great point that you make that like, someone should be monitoring that. Hey, coach, second half is probably a blizzard.

[A]

Yeah. We're in the Rocky Mountains up here. The blizzard, Blizzards can be bad. Here's what is expected up to the minute. I understand not doing it a week ahead of time, but a few minutes ahead of time. Forecasts are pretty good.

[B]

Like, I think there's enough guys on staff, enough guys and gals on staff to have someone monitor the weather. Maybe, I don't know.

[A]

It shouldn't matter. That's the whole point.

[B]

It shouldn't matter.

[A]

That's the whole point. You shouldn't have to worry about the weather. But in this case, you do.

[B]

No.

[A]

Basketball coach is saying, well, you know, why don't we. Yeah, let's, let's try to run up the score here because we're not going to be able to score at all the second half. We're slipping around out there.

[B]

Well, then let me ask you this. Maybe you can, can you walk me.

[A]

Through baseball teams do it all the.

[B]

Can you walk me through this?

[A]

No, I can't.

[B]

Why doesn't the NFL have Denver host a Super Bowl?

[A]

I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are. We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs, all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line. Oh, I shouldn't have looked down. It's all right. We're so far up here. Look at me. Take a deep breath. I'm good. So good.

[B]

Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. It feels good to Geico. Why not?

[A]

That's why.

[B]

It's a beautiful stadium.

[A]

Yeah, but they can't have it for the Super Bowl.

[B]

It's a great fan base.

[A]

But it's okay for the game that's. That's penultimate. Right.

[B]

Why isn't it there? Why isn't there a Super bowl at Soldier Field? Why doesn't Chicago is a great city to host sports? Why doesn't Chicago get to have a Super Bowl?

[A]

The reason is going to be because of the entertainment. Because it's a television studio and they need certainty for the halftime entertainment and the pregame entertainment. And they don't want everybody whipping in the wind. They don't want, you know, Bruno Mars would blow away. Away. He would go, oh, so it's got.

[B]

Nothing to do with football.

[A]

Who's it all? Bad Bunny flies away.

[B]

It's got nothing to do with the fact that you can't have your championship game. Can't be played in shitty weather. Is that what they're saying?

[A]

I guess. Ever, you know, ever since the old NFL championships used to be they don't want that anymore.

[B]

Oh, but get down to the final four teams and they can play in whatever.

[A]

I guess so. It makes no sense. Yes, it makes no sense. And that maybe yesterday, by the end of it, somehow, if you got a neutral site, some of this stuff, if you want to just pick a couple of places, you got Lucas Oil Stadium, you got Atlanta, you'll have eventually the new.

[B]

Oh, you can't. You can't do that to a fan base, though. You can't. You can't go through a grueling 17 game season to earn that right to host the championship game and then tell your fan base I got to fly to Indianapolis except for the Super Bowl.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

Well, super bowl is different because the super bowl is based on weather. Right. It doesn't make any sense.

[A]

Maybe it'll never stop. It should. It should. They got to figure out something before we go on.

[B]

I want to play something for you. What's the date today?

[A]

The date is the 26th. It's an anniversary.

[B]

Walter Payton, Mike Ditka hungry. Chicago finally champions on this January day in New Orleans. 46 to 10. The final. That's all. You can move on now. Just want to remember that quickly. Yeah, but not too much.

[A]

Well done. Why did the Steelers hire Mike McCarthy?

[B]

I told you they were going to.

[A]

I thought you were kidding.

[B]

No, I told you. I told you. Two weeks ago they were going to hire Mike McCarthy.

[A]

They did, though.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I never really believed it that that guy got in the room. Did you read the part where apparently.

[B]

Got his third try?

[A]

Man, did I read this correctly? And maybe I didn't. I thought he said something about how he developed Joe Montana in Kansas City and that he mentioned that to the Rooney family. Did you see that?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You mean Joe Montana at the end of his hall of Fame career? Yeah, Joe Montana.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Developed him in what begin.

[A]

Apparently he made barbecue eater. He made. He said that his quarterback development pitch to the Steelers because I think everybody said, well, now Aaron Rodgers is coming back. I don't think so. If he felt he had to pitch himself as a quarterback developer. And he mentioned Joe Montana with the Chiefs when he was at the end of his career.

[B]

Maybe he mentioned Joe Montana.

[A]

No, I'm not. I don't think I'm making this up.

[B]

Okay, I didn't see that.

[A]

Go ahead and look it up. Look up McCarthy, Montana. Go ahead and look it up. But, but. And I think he was a defensive assistant. Like, what? What the hell? This is the first time ever hearing that Mike McCarthy had something to do with the concept of development.

[B]

Maybe as a public speaker, I wouldn't.

[A]

Claim that, but the last stop for Montana's career when he was just kind of running on fumes and A young Mike McCarthy is claiming that that helped develop him in a way that should be material to him developing a quarterback in today's NFL.

[B]

All right, Cowboys insider Ed Werder shared on X on January 25th. So this is yesterday. One of the elements Mike McCarthy provided, the Titans and Steelers when he interviewed with them were videos and graphics of his long history of coaching and developing quarterbacks, beginning with Joe Montana with the Chiefs under Marty Schottenheimer.

[A]

That's when you say, this interview is over.

[B]

McCarthy kicked off his hiring pitch by diving straight into his quarterback track record. But amid all the talented names like Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers, he zeroed in on Montana as his star example with the Chiefs. The paths first cross in Kansas City, where Montana arrived from San Francisco in 1993. That's the same year McCarthy debuted in the NFL as the offensive quality control coach under Marty Schottenheimer.

[A]

Oh, was off. So he was the video guy.

[B]

McCarthy quickly climbed, eventually becoming the quarterback coach developing Joe Montana in starting in 1993.

[A]

He was pretty good before then. Pretty good.

[B]

Did he win anything before 93? He won some Super Bowls, maybe kind.

[A]

Of on the outside of the competitive fray for a While.

[B]

Because he does, he's not a name that comes up in the NFL a lot in the 1980s. Joe Montana. Not until Mike McCarthy got a hold.

[A]

Of him.

[B]

Did you imagine goes up to. He goes up to Montana's locker. Hey. Hey, Joe. I want to talk to you. I want to show you some video. I was looking at your technique, your form. Want to go over a few things with you. Yeah. Who are you? Oh, I'm Mike McCarthy. And what do you do here? Oh, I'm the offensive quality control coach. Oh, you're the video guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know. I'm the video.

[A]

Thank God. I've been waiting for this moment, you know, can we. Look, how much time do you have? Because I got a lot of things I gotta run by you. Look my.

[B]

I really think I can help your career.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, I already me. You're Mike McCarthy. You know, I. I just feel like I've got so much unlocked potential here. Mike. I. I would love just. Are my feet right? Is this.

[B]

What am I doing here? What am I doing?

[A]

What am I doing? Get like my. I, I go like. This is it. Is this right? Should I elbow Be higher up?

[B]

Until he got a hold of him, Montana was throwing lefty.

[A]

Yeah. He couldn't figure it out.

[B]

Carthy was like, hey, I've noticed that you. You right. Right handed. Well, I'm a righty.

[A]

He was throwing the ball end over end.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He was like, holding it by the bottom and just going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yep. Like, you know, there's a. You can spiral that thing.

[B]

Oh, dude, how did I miss that? That's amazing.

[A]

They gave him the job that you sat credulously in that room while he's doing it. Oh, you see what he got even just.

[B]

I mean, right away. He just doesn't even look like he wants to be there.

[A]

All right, I know he doesn't want to manage a clock.

[B]

Do you think there's, like, somewhere there's like, someone is like, if you don't coach a NFL team, I'm gonna. I'm gonna kill your family.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

All right, I'll do it. I'll do it.

[A]

I better tell him how I developed Joe Montana. Why'd you go with a Norm Van Brocklin while you're at it?

[B]

And the Rooneys?

[A]

Never heard of him before. I don't know.

[B]

Wait. He developed Joe Montana?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He should have said that he developed.

[A]

Terry Bradshaw, but then they might have. Really?

[B]

You did?

[A]

We had no idea. You're hired. Oh, yeah, I did. And remember Otto Graham? That was me. That was me. I was all over Otto Graham. He didn't even know he's allowed to throw the forward pass. Like, you know what? You can just take that. Chuck it right over there. Oh, yeah, you better believe it. We had that thing flying all over the place.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

I told Ernie Nevers that. Yeah, it might be easier. You're going to get yourself beat up running for all those touchdowns. Why don't you try throwing it?

[B]

That's amazing, dude.

[A]

It happened and they hired him.

[B]

That's really great. I love it.

[A]

Is that great?

[B]

He's probably like, I don't want this job. I'm going to tell him that I developed Joe Montana. Watch how quickly they get rid of me. This is great.

[A]

In 1993. Well, once I got a hold of him, everything was. We got that young man on track. He had a real future after me.

[B]

We knew it.

[A]

All that unrealized potential. Ah, Walsh. What did Walsh know? He didn't know. I. Come on. I said, you got to get away from that Bill Walsh guy. He doesn't know how to develop a quarterback or run an offense. And I got out of that room where I was watching film, and I said, hey, hey, hey, Joe. Come on over here, buddy. Let me. Let me give you a couple of tips. A couple of quarterback and tips.

[B]

That's really awesome. Holy cow. That is great. Jesus. Oh, man. And the Rooneys are like, yep, this is the guy we need.

[A]

Hey, now you're talking.

[B]

They're like, they probably. They get together. They're like, hey, let's talk about our possible candidates. Like, who's our favorite right now? Hey, I got to tell you, just talk to this Mike McCarthy guy. He developed Joe Montana. He made Joe Montana what he is.

[A]

I remember Joe. That was Mike McCarthy.

[B]

Wow. He did that.

[A]

He's in our building right now.

[B]

We have a chance to hire him now.

[A]

We can't let him leave the building. Somebody else might get him.

[B]

Hey, and chances are if McCarthy comes here, Aaron Rodgers will stay. Seriously?

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

We develop Aaron Rodgers.

[B]

Wait till I get a hold of Aaron Rodgers. And then Rogers is like, hey, we were together in Green Bay.

[A]

What?

[B]

What? We were.

[A]

I thought he'd be the perfect person to develop all of your. Your untapped skills, all the. All the latent talent.

[B]

Well, if that's the case, now, let's wait and see how Aaron Rodgers career takes off from here.

[A]

Who's their backup? He's like, I don't even know what they're doing at quarterback right now?

[B]

Mason Rudolph.

[A]

Okay, that's right. He was against the Bears, but he's still the guy. Like that's the. That's what they're doing.

[B]

Or who's the other guys? Is Sam Howell the other guy there or is that. Is that the guy that was from Notre Dame that I confused? Sam Howell.

[A]

Oh, no, you're thinking of who's the Notre Dame.

[B]

By the. Riley Leonard with a beard.

[A]

Riley Leonard.

[B]

Crikey. Which.

[A]

Which.

[B]

Yeah, Riley Leonard is the Notre Dame guy. Yeah.

[A]

And Duke.

[B]

He was from Duke.

[A]

He transferred from Duke to Notre Dame after Sam Hartman left, right?

[B]

Oh, Sam. Oh, maybe. No. Sam Hartman.

[A]

Sam Hartman's a really handsome guy.

[B]

That's the handsome guy with the beard by cracking.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, that's the guy.

[A]

He's on a roster somewhere. I always liked him. Just like I like Jarrett Stidham.

[B]

Wait, so Sam Hartman is the good looking guy?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then the guy that I confuse him with is Riley Leonard, who also.

[A]

Went to Notre Dame.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like Riley Leonard. Okay, where's Sam Hartman?

[A]

He's on a team somewhere. All these guys have jobs and they're great jobs. I'm sure he's.

[B]

Sam Hartman's on the. On the Commanders.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

Not good enough to play because they still played.

[A]

Yeah, it's fine.

[B]

That's the guy with the hair and the beard.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They had Mariota and he was the third guy. Good looking dude, isn't he?

[B]

Yeah, he's real handsome.

[A]

I think he was in college. He was like 28, but that's okay.

[B]

Oh, it's fine.

[A]

That doesn't matter to him.

[B]

Could be 30.

[A]

So Mike McDaniel took the Chargers offensive coordinator job.

[B]

Officially offered the job, but was still looking. He was open to work while he had a job.

[A]

Correct. But he.

[B]

That's a weird thing to do.

[A]

He now has taken that job and the Browns are still looking for a quarterback or court.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

Looking for a coach.

[B]

Coach.

[A]

Yeah, they're still. Browns are still looking for a coach.

[B]

Browns. Vegas. Right?

[A]

Bills.

[B]

Bills. Oh, my God, did you see that petition? Bills fans have an online petition demanding they bring Sean McDermott back. And it's got like 40,000 signatures.

[A]

Is it really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, after that press conference, they didn't know why they fired him. They're just there.

[B]

I don't know who the hell people are, but.

[A]

Steven Ross. Yeah, that's your guy. Steven Ross, the owner of the Dolphins had no idea the names of his new general manager or his new coach. And he Was waxing on about all of this wonderful this, and he can do this. And we're very excited for Jeff. Yep. His name is Jeff. Jeff is your coach, and you're obviously very excited.

[B]

And he's.

[A]

He's literally fumbling around looking for something where he wrote his name down. And look, we're old. People do that. Trust me. We're. We forget stuff. We say stupid things. But if you're the owner of the.

[B]

Team, you probably should know who probably.

[A]

Should know the name of your coach.

[B]

Maybe just excited about Jeff. It's Arizona, Las Vegas, Cleveland and Tennessee. Right. Or the Tennessee. Tennessee hired somebody.

[A]

Yeah. And. Yeah, Tennessee.

[B]

So it's just Cleveland. Raiders in Arizona. Right.

[A]

Cleveland Raiders in Arizona. Yeah. Because the former Arizona coach is now the packers defensive coordinator.

[B]

Good luck with that.

[A]

Jonathan Gannon replaced Jeff Halfley.

[B]

Did they not look at the. The way the defense played under Gannon? I know he was the head coach, but.

[A]

But he also developed Joe Montana.

[B]

Right. That's how you pitched him.

[A]

Why should we hire you as defensive coach? Well, I developed Joe Montana. That's just what you say these days. Okay, great.

[B]

All right, listen, you're hired. Let's make a pact. If we. If we ever have to interview for another job ever again, we have to use that in our interview. Why would you be a good fit here, Dan? Well, because I helped develop Joe Montana when I got a hold of him back in 1993.

[A]

Go back and look at the work I did with Joe Montana then to me.

[B]

Right. And that's it. And then walk out.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Leave your business card and just walk out.

[B]

Your business card's. Dan Bernstein helped develop Joe Montana. Made Joe Montana the public speaker.

[A]

He is today talking about his gastroesophageal reflux disease.

[B]

Has there been another job where more guys have pulled their name from contention other than the Browns?

[A]

Would you want to work for Haslam?

[B]

No.

[A]

Would you want to work there?

[B]

The only reason I'd want to work there is for our Cleveland Browns guy that we had on.

[A]

Oh, he was awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, he was fun.

[B]

The super fan.

[A]

I don't know who they're going to end up hiring.

[B]

I just.

[A]

This. It's a very strange packers hire. Maybe they just think that he'll. He'll, you know, not given head coaching responsibilities, concentrating game planning a defense. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[A]

I mean, the Bears have a failed head coach as their defensive coordinator. He's done a pretty good job.

[B]

But when he was Dennis Allen's head coaching Whereas teams bad defensively, though, what he was known for.

[A]

I don't remember. I don't remember. They're bad defensively.

[B]

I just know the Cardinals are terrible defensively. Yes. And then do you see him, like, talking to. Talking to the players? And he asked him, like, how many. How many of you guys drove here? Like, no, none of them. They all took the bus and the train. Water taxi.

[A]

That was like. It was like. Were those painful videos of watching Eber flutes during warmups? Remember that stuff?

[B]

Hey, Dragon boy. Hey. What's up there?

[A]

Nothing, Coach.

[B]

Yeah, how are you? Fucking weirdo.

[A]

Going up to Ready, Stewart? Oh, your name's Ready? I guess you're ready, then.

[B]

Are you always on the ready? Ready.

[A]

Ready.

[B]

Set, go. Never.

[A]

Never heard that one before. That's creative. Oh, boy. Clever stuff there, Coach. Thank you. He didn't get any looks in this round, did he?

[B]

Eber flus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I'm just making sure, because I. I said it when the Bears hired him, I said, this is a positional coach.

[B]

And he might not even be. Did he really?

[A]

Yeah, that's what.

[B]

He was listening to you.

[A]

He was a positional coach. It was a perfect job for him because he really didn't have a thought in his head.

[B]

He didn't do very good. The Cowboys.

[A]

No, no, that was. They got. They finished that up real fast. Jerry Jones, like. Well, I haven't gotten around firing him yet. Well, no, I can. I'm watching the same game.

[B]

I love their process. All right. Off the sideline, out of the booth, in your car, stay at the hotel.

[A]

As Terry used to say about a friend of yours, not far enough, not far enough, not far enough. And they just keep moving him away.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think we're. I think we're good. Browns, Vegas, Bills and Arizona.

[A]

Yeah, I think the Browns would probably be the last one because they have young quarterbacks. I just don't think any of them are any good. They've got Dylan Gabriel and they've got Shador Sanders.

[B]

I saw a thing online. It was. Someone took Sean McDermott and dressed him up like Mrs. Doubtfire. And it was like the Bills announced their new coach. Sean and McDermott.

[A]

That's cute.

[B]

Yeah, it was funny.

[A]

I don't get it. I don't know why they did what they did, unless Terry Pula just said, well, it was. It's what happened in the last game. And then a reporter said something. Well, if it's because of what happened in the last game, a game that, despite your quarterback throwing, you know, Turning it over five times like you almost won the game. Why was that? Enough to fire the coach. And he didn't really have an answer for it. So you can see how far we've come under Sean McDermott. If you people left that press conference thinking like they just hired Sean McDermott, right?

[B]

Yeah. And I see Philip Rivers, he withdrew his name from the Bill's head coaching search.

[A]

Yes. Good. Yeah, man. Phil, you don't want that aggravation. You don't need that. You've got 14 children. Just go play golf. Go play golf. You're fine.

[B]

No, just go back to Alabama and coach. Coach your high school.

[A]

Coach your high school team. Yeah.

[B]

Wait till the next team that calls you five years from now, when your insurance is about to run out, you're good to go.

[A]

When you're sick of being home.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then there's a time you don't want that aggravation. You don't want to bother with that.

[B]

Hey, one other note I forgot to mention. We were talking championship games. The last two games or the last two games that Matthew Stafford played against Seattle. Did you. Have you seen what his numbers were?

[A]

So I saw the numbers yesterday, okay.

[B]

He was 51 of 84 for 831 yards, six touchdowns and no interceptions. And he lost both games.

[A]

Well, his numbers against the Bears. You gave us that crazy list of numbers.

[B]

Over 40 passing attempts, completed less than half through, zero touchdowns and a road start is the first guy to ever win a game with those numbers going into that game. Those quarterbacks that did that were 0, 99 and 1. Matthew Stafford now makes that stat 199 1. So it's kind of. You could, you could say it's karma if you want. You could say it's Bearweather, 51 of 84, 831, six touchdowns, no interceptions, and he's 0 and 2.

[A]

Watching the wide receiver talent in that game yesterday. And that's why, it's one of the reasons why it was the perfect counterpoint to that horrible snowstorm fuck fest that you had between Puka, Nakua, Jackson, Smith and Jigba and even Cooper cup at this stage of his career. Watching those guys, the feet, the hands, the route, Devontae Adams, like you had to see what those skill position players are doing, what Kyron Williams was doing, what Kenneth Walker was doing. They get limited, just those guys, let alone the quarterbacks, right? To see them moving out there and the plays that were made. To watch Witherspoon, to watch the quality of this Seattle defense. This is as close to a legion of boom. When they were dropping back in that three deep, it wasn't even a three deep. It was a man defense. That would look like cover three when they were in nickel because you had Sherman and you had Cam Chancellor and third guy names escaping me.

[B]

This. Marshawn Lynch.

[A]

No, the other defensive back, Earl Thomas.

[B]

Oh yeah, Earl Thomas. Look at you.

[A]

Look at me. That they. There's so much speed and power and talent out there and to then be able to see that last night and be able to have the coaches call plays not thinking they were going to fall down.

[B]

Right. Yeah. That would be similar to who's the. Who's the best. Who's the best teammates in the NBA today? The same. The best teammates. If you had to say these are the two.

[A]

Luka and LeBron.

[B]

Okay. You think they're the best?

[A]

I mean I'm just. If you want to talk about the.

[B]

Okay, so then, so tonight the Bulls play the Lakers. Let's take Luke and LeBron and let's strap one of their legs each together.

[A]

Or pick anybody and so do like.

[B]

A, like a three legged race. You take and then go out and play.

[A]

Now take shade. Just Alexander and anybody and pick a teammate.

[B]

Sure. And then just. Yeah, strap. Strap two of their legs together and have them go out there in a three legged race and play NBA basketball. One shoe.

[A]

There you go. Luca gets one shoe. Shoe.

[B]

Or you get one hand behind your back.

[A]

Or he can be in my poofy socks that I bought from Walgreens.

[B]

Right. Or we're going to falling apart. Oh, Luca, tonight we're going to blindfold you in the game. Go out there and play. Have fun. Like. Yeah. Go out and go limit the star players in other sports and see what happens.

[A]

Yeah. Here. Here you go. Yannick Sinner. You don't get to use a tennis racket.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or you have to. You have to hold it upside down.

[B]

They should play the Stanley cup outdoors. They do. You know, games are on New Year's Eve and you know, New Year's Day they have the outdoor game. You should do the Stanley cup finals all outside. Why not? Why don't you do it outside? Why play hockey, a sport on ice indoors. Play it all outside. Why do that?

[A]

Why don't they let Scotty Scheffler be out there in a lightning storm?

[B]

Sure, go ahead.

[A]

Let's see how tough you are now.

[B]

Right. Or you know, take, take these, these guys, they would still destroy the course, but take them out to like a public place that I play at that aerates the greens. Right. Five minutes before you tee off, and you're trying to putt through goose shit. Like, come on, PGA Tour.

[A]

Do that. That's exactly what it's like.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Just go. Go to some muni track that is covered in goose crap, right? Yep.

[B]

That's what it is. And your. Your ball lands on the green, and you got to putt through 30ft of shit.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Do that for the PGA. Why. Why do they get to play in ideal conditions? But the. Arguably.

[A]

I got a better idea.

[B]

The most violent sport that humans play, we're gonna. We're gonna challenge them even further.

[A]

I got a better idea. But Olympic swimming, but with piranhas.

[B]

Yes, do that.

[A]

Oh, another video.

[B]

Or how about this? How about no water in the pool? See how they do.

[A]

There might be one. You don't know. You don't know the depth of the water when you dive in.

[B]

Right. How about an Olympic pool that's a foot and a half deep?

[A]

Yeah. They're not sure. You don't get just conditions. Get your starters gun out of the elements.

[B]

They don't break their neck. Yeah, well, they should have dove more shallow.

[A]

Yep. That's what you got to do. And these conditions, right, you throw a.

[B]

Great white in there and see what happens.

[A]

Well, that actually.

[B]

Lane three got eaten.

[A]

That does happen in the triathlons. That is an issue. Right? That's happened. Haven't people been attacked by sharks? Great white shark, like off of the Alcatraz or something like that when they're.

[B]

Running or something, like on their bikes. What kind of fucking sharks are these.

[A]

Sharks also on a bike? Yeah, they give the sharks a bite. Can you imagine riding and you just. God damn it.

[B]

There's a great white on a shark behind you.

[A]

What the hell is that? Greg Norman?

[B]

No, it's an actual shark.

[A]

God darn it. They warned us. They said there were sharks around here. I thought it was only gonna be the swimming portion.

[B]

Maybe in the Winter Olympics next month when they do the polar bears. Yep. Yeah, polar bears. You're trying to ski random across country skiing. So all of a sudden, polar bear runs out each year. Competition.

[A]

What's the one from on Hoth? From Empire Strikes Back.

[B]

Oh, that thing that Luke killed.

[A]

Wampa.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is that what it is?

[B]

I think so. I think it sounds right.

[A]

I think it's the wampa. Right. Because if you unleash, you do that for the Winter Olympics, I can get anybody. You know, the middle of the biathlon, you better have that gun ready to go. To kill the wampa.

[B]

What? When they. When they have the guns, why can't they shoot at each other?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Make that more challenging.

[A]

Because it's conditions. It's the elements. That's the way the game is played. That's what you're supposed to do. I don't care if you fell down a 10,000 foot crevasse. Yeah.

[B]

Look at you. I think it was because we were listening to Weird Al earlier.

[A]

What? I was right.

[B]

Wampa. Nice job.

[A]

Yeah. Not to be confused with the rancor.

[B]

Correct. The rancor is the thing in the cave.

[A]

Yes. That's underneath Jabba's throne. You drop down the rancor and you put a chicken bone in his mouth and then you hit him in the face with a rock or something, Right?

[B]

Yeah. You put a. Yeah. Put a bone through his. Yeah. He can't crush the water.

[A]

No, I can't. I can't.

[B]

I can eat anything but bones. No, no. He stuck a bone in my mouth.

[A]

I'm stuck.

[B]

I'm not eating you now.

[A]

Oh, wait, they go. The portcullis has fallen on my neck and now I'm dead. And the Pig man is sad.

[B]

Oh, yeah. So then. Yeah, so then that was when he took his. What's the things they rode?

[A]

Tauntaun.

[B]

Yeah, Tauntaun. And he cut it open and got inside to get warm. I'm going to freeze to death.

[A]

I thought these smelled bad on the outside.

[B]

I'm sorry. It's like, if I can't make it, I guess I'm gonna have to die because I'm not crawling inside that.

[A]

Have you ever seen Bill Hader's impersonation of the dying Tauntaun?

[B]

I have not.

[A]

He's got it down, everything. He's got every eye roll, like every facial move.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. He's a total Star wars nerd.

[B]

That's pretty great.

[A]

And he can actually do the noises and everything and fall over exactly like it. It's. I think Conant asks him to do it. Every once in a while he'll do the dying Tauntaun. Or did. But you can find it, I'm sure, somewhere. Hey, congratulations to Nishan Wright. He has been moved up into the Pro bowl to replace Quinion Mitchell, who is not going to participate.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And Nishan Wright is now a Pro Bowler. Pro Bowler, that's right.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Working the side circuit.

[B]

Oh, he's joining us tomorrow.

[A]

Who, Murph?

[B]

Yeah, he's. We're going to talk about Terry. I was telling. I was telling Natalie the other day, the when, like, it was like, the final straw and he finally. He finally was going to confront his bully and waited in the studio. And Terry was at home that day. And remember, the show started.

[A]

Remember it.

[B]

Terry's talking and. And you're just said. And you hit the top. Like.

[A]

What'S Murph doing? Why is Murph in this studio?

[B]

Like, I don't know, buddy. I don't know what to tell you.

[A]

He didn't realize.

[B]

He didn't realize Terry was at home working. And then Murray started kicking all the garbage cans down the hallway.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

That was. It was the same day he said. He said something like, why do you gotta play stuff that I say on the air? I could play stuff that you say on the air.

[B]

Terry was like, no.

[A]

And I said, okay, yeah, go ahead. He's like, I could. I could play stuff that makes you sound like. Like. I said, go ahead.

[B]

Is. It's funny.

[A]

I said, it's radio. It's funny and it's. Nobody cares.

[B]

No, I was. I wanted.

[A]

And then he's like, no, no, no, no, no. But you play stuff that makes me. Like I said, are you threatening me? Are you threatening me? Like, what do you say? Are you. Are you asking me? Are you. Like, what do you. Pick one. What are you doing here?

[B]

Yeah, I wanted to jump in and be like, we do that ourselves, right? Yeah, yeah. It's part of humor, being able to laugh at yourself. Yeah, that's.

[A]

Most of the bit is laughing at us, right? No, no, no. That's not what he did. He said, I didn't watch a game.

[B]

So I look forward to that tomorrow. Yeah, because you're having him on.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because I know you guys are close.

[B]

Couldn't be closer. No.

[A]

That's it for forward progress today. So football should be played inside.

[B]

That's the bottom line.

[A]

That's the bottom line. Football is too important, and they're too good, and they're too fast, and too much of it matters. Stop with this snow crap, right?

[B]

If. If the weather conditions. If the super bowl is good enough for prime weather conditions or indoor, your championship game should be as well. Your playoff games, all of them.

[A]

And then that's the old.

[B]

Keep.

[A]

Keep using that logic and keep going and going.

[B]

Week 17 of the regular season as well as is week number one of the NFL just getting domes everywhere. Make them. Make them domes.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Make it that simple.

[A]

And that is Forward Progress, a Chicago Bears podcast on 312Sports. Forward progress has stopped. 10, 219 219Forward progress a Chicago Bears.

[B]

Podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matabeticola on 312 Sports.