Top 10 Bears of All-Time

Summary

Forward Progress: "Top 10 Bears of All-Time"

Chicago Bears Podcast with Dan Bernstein & Matt Abbatacola
Date: October 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

With the Chicago Bears on bye week, Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola set aside the X’s and O’s to deliver their quirkiest, most engaging segment yet: the definitive* Top 10 Bears of All-Time*—but not just Chicago football legends. This episode is a wide-ranging, playful rundown of all the influential, notorious, and beloved “bears” in pop culture, sports, entertainment, and even the hosts’ personal lives. The tone is irreverent, personal, and packed with both nostalgia and sharp takes, as the hosts banter their way through the committee’s “official” ranking and their own idiosyncratic favorites.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Bye Week and the List’s Origins

• Instead of their usual Bear-centric football analysis, Dan and Matt use the bye week to indulge in a favorite segment: the Top 10 lists, usually reserved for Bears opponents’ franchises (00:17–01:34).
• “[The Top 10 lists] generated more engagement, perhaps, whether angry, excited, happy, or getting the bit. Not getting the bit. Whatever it is." — Dan Bernstein [01:51]

The Committee’s Official Top 10 Bears

• The “committee,” with some tongue-in-cheek bureaucracy, created their list based on a combination of popularity, revenue, and cultural impact—with a long, comedic honorable mentions prelude (04:02–05:55).

Notable (And Hilarious) Honorable Mentions

• Care Bears, Cocaine Bear, Berenstain Bears, Lotso Huggin Bear, Po from Kung Fu Panda, the Coca Cola Polar Bears, Bear Bryant, Bear Grylls, and more, including the infamous Petey the Sexual Harassment Panda.

The Committee’s Top 10 Bears of All-Time (06:01–15:06)

1. Yogi Bear – Cartoon legend, inspired by Yogi Berra, known for picnic basket thievery and “I’m smarter than the average bear.” [15:06]
   • “He just lifted [his persona] from Art Carney’s portrayal of Ed Norton on the Honeymooners.” — Dan Bernstein [15:43]
2. Paddington Bear – Polite, marmalade-loving children’s book icon.
3. Baloo – Laid-back star of The Jungle Book and TaleSpin; almost had a role in Top Gun: Maverick (joke).
4. Fozzie Bear – The Muppet Show’s pun-slinging comic (“What kind of shoes are made from banana skins? Slippers,” 12:29).
5. Smokey Bear – Forest Service mascot with a timeless message: “Only you can prevent wildfires.” [12:00]
6. Sergeant Donnie Donowitz (“The Bear Jew”) – Inglourious Basterds’ bat-wielding Nazi terror, played by Eli Roth.
7. Winnie the Pooh – Storybook staple, though Dan sides with Dorothy Parker’s savage 1928 pan: “That word, hummy, my darlings, that marks the first place in the House at Pooh Corner at which Tunsten Weeder fwod up.” — Dorothy Parker via Dan [10:32]
8. The Three Bears (from “Goldilocks”) – The ur-bear family of fairy tale fame.
9. Jack Nicklaus (“The Golden Bear”) – Golf champion with 18 majors.
10. Billy Bob Broccoli – Main mascot/lead singer for ShowBiz Pizza’s Rock-afire Explosion (animatronic band), deeply nostalgic for ‘80s kids.

Dan’s Personal Top 10 + Honorable Mentions

• Dan’s criteria? Utterly personal preference, not pop culture metrics (16:09).
• He offers amusing sidebars about mascot exclusions (“Bear Aspirin”/“Bayer” confusion), TV bears (Gentle Ben, Grizzly Adams), cereal mascots (Sugar Bear), and why Berenstain Bears “sucked” (19:16).

Dan’s Top 10 Bears (Of All Types)

1. Bibu (“Bee Boo”) – His son’s beloved blue bear lovey, deeply personal and poignant; “[My son’s] first word was Bibu…Which is how he said blue bear…He has three of them…They were all under the umbrella, they all had the auspices…of being Bibu." — Dan [31:39–33:28]
   • A touching parenting anecdote about what truly matters most, even for students in college: “He said, I don’t care. It is Bibu. …Any girl that has an issue with Bibu is not somebody I want to be with.” [34:05]
2. Ursa Major/Minor (“Big Dipper & Little Dipper” constellations) – The first constellations most people learn: “They're Cosmo, they're stars, they're worlds. They deserve high rankings.” — Dan [30:14]
3. Fozzie Bear
4. Walter Payton – The beloved, real Chicago Bear running back gets the nod as the only football entry on a largely non-sports list.
5. Ted – Seth MacFarlane’s foul-mouthed, hilarious stuffed bear.
6. Petey the Sexual Harassment Panda – From South Park, educational and absurd mascot [26:22].
7. Victor the Wrestling Bear – Real wrestling bear who once sparred with sports radio legend Terry Boers and former Bears DC Rod Marinelli (“Victor sat on Terry’s head…,” 26:00).
8. Yogi Bear
9. The Three Bears (Goldilocks)
10. Smokey Bear

Dan’s Honorable Mentions

• Oksana (Borat’s bear/wife), Huggy Bear (Starsky & Hutch), Billy Bear (48 Hours, Predator), cereal mascots (Sugar Bear), TV mascots (BJ & The Bear), and commercial mascots (Snuggle Bear, Ham’s Beer Bear, Icy Polar Bear).

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Popular/Reviled Bears:
  • “Berenstain Bears sucked. …Bears bite me.” — Dan Bernstein [19:16]
  • (On Winnie the Pooh): “Did you know Dorothy Parker’s famous review? …‘That word, hummy, my darlings, that marks the first place…at which Tunsten Weeder fwod up.’” — Dan [10:32]
• On Kid Nostalgia & Parenting:
  • “He said, I always knew from the moment which one was the right, the real Bibu and the other imposter Bibus…But they were all under the umbrella…[of] being Bibu, being in his family.” — Dan [33:09]
• On the List’s Purpose/Reception:
  • “It’s fun for us…and we’ve heard back it’s fun for you, too. …This has generated flat out anger, too.” — Matt [01:34, 01:49]
• On Yogi Bear’s Cultural Theft:
  • “His entire persona is stolen from Art Carney’s portrayal of Ed Norton on the Honeymooners…even down to the hat!” — Dan [15:34]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:17 — Introduction to episode theme and segment’s significance
• 03:26 — The committee’s list-building process explained
• 06:01–15:06 — Committee’s Top 10 Bears rundown (animated and real)
• 16:13 — Dan’s personal methodology for his own Top 10
• 17:06–22:24 — Mascot sidebars, commercial bear mascots discussed
• 22:24–25:44 — Dan’s honorable mentions (Oksana, Huggy Bear, etc.)
• 25:44 — Victor the Wrestling Bear stories (incl. Rod Marinelli and Terry Boers’ bouts)
• 26:22 — Sexual Harassment Panda song/clip
• 28:16 — Marinelli’s wrestling tale conclusion
• 29:01–34:46 — Top entries: Ted, Walter Payton, Fozzie, Ursa Major/Minor, Bibu (full Bibu story unfolds)
• 34:05 — “Any girl that has an issue with Bibu… not somebody I want to be with.”
• 35:30–end — Preview of next week and sponsor read

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Tone & Atmosphere

• The hosts blend Chicago sports radio irreverence with deep nostalgia and randomness. Personal stories (Dan’s Bibu tale, memories of the old Golden Bear pancake house) balance zingers, pop culture deep-cuts, and loving dad jokes.

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Summary

This is far more than a ranking of cartoon icons; it’s a celebration of what “Bears” mean—across sports, TV, childhood, and real life. Listeners laugh with the hosts’ irreverence, learn quirky history (Art Carney = Yogi Bear DNA!), and get pure, sweet sentiment in tales like Bibu’s. As Dan says, “There’s a lot of subjectivity involved…and I’m not going to apologize for it.” For both diehards and casuals, this episode proves why Forward Progress is Chicago’s football conversation at its most eclectic and endearing.

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Episode available on 312 Sports. For the footbally stuff, tune in after the bye!

Transcript

[A]

Ted 2:19, 2:19.

[B]

Forward progress, a Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abeticola on 312 Sports.

[A]

Happy Friday. I hope it is. And welcome to Forward Progress, a Chicago Bears podcast. Dan Bernstein, Matt Abaticola. And we're doing something very special today. It's the bye week, so don't get. You guys should be talking only about X's and O's and route combinations. Okay. Yeah, I get it. We hear you. I know what you're talking about. You love your football. You love your sexy football. But we've done and will continue to do our top 10 lists of the Bears opponent. We've done now top 10 Vikings, top 10 Lions, top 10 Cowboys and top 10 Raiders. Turn your mic on, Captain Radio. Yes, Captain podcasting. They're gonna change it. So now that we're at the bye week, we decided this would be the time to self scout to do the top 10 bears. And just so you know, this is the last version of this that we're gonna do on Forward Progress.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

After this programming change, there will be a programming change. We are not gonna stop doing this segment because I love it.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And that's the great thing about this is that is a perfectly good reason why I get to do it. Because I love it.

[B]

Because it's fun for us.

[A]

It's so much fun to do. And we've heard back that it's fun for you, too. We've probably gotten more feedback on For Feedback Fridays. More feedback on what people believe are oversights or poor rankings on this.

[B]

This is generated flat out anger, too.

[A]

Yeah. But it's generated more engagement, perhaps, whether angry, excited, happy, or getting the bit. Not getting the bit. Whatever it is. We're going to move this to dbu. So we're going to still do it. We're just going to keep Forward progress more footbally. Football, sports, sports, football, football. So we'll, we'll keep you happy with that. But we. This has taken a long time because the total number of Bears so far has swamped everything else that we've done. The numbers from which to choose. And I know mine is just, it's personal. This. There's a lot of subjectivity involved. And I'm not gonna apologize for the subjectivity that was included here, whether it's the honorable mentions, the top 10, everything else that was left out. So when we've done this in the past, we have started with the committee.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And then I've done mine next. I want to let you know first that this episode of Forward Progress Is brought to you by beer Church Brewing. New Buffalo's brewery pizzeria in a historic church. Wood fired Neapolitan pizza. Small batch craft beer brunch every day. Visit beerchurchbrewing.com you absolutely can't go wrong with anything on the menu or the beers there. Certainly the pizzas. We'll talk more about them later. So if you would like to start about your. The committee's process, their results. I know that we like full transparency.

[B]

Yeah. So and this goes for every week that the committee has a master list that they dwindled down to their top 10 with some honorable mentions. You know, some of, some of the criteria is revenue driven. It's popularity, it's pop culture, iconic status. I mean, there's all different factors that go into determining what the top 10 are. So what we're doing a little bit different today because we have our top 10 list of the official top 10 bears of all time. The committee is going to read the list that they compiled to derive the top 10 from without, obviously.

[A]

Oh, you're going to read the full.

[B]

List of what we looked at. Okay. Because people have asked. There were a lot of questions like, you know, how did the committee miss this? How did the committee miss that? It may not make the top 10, but here's what was up for consideration.

[A]

Just say, like, I didn't forget this.

[B]

Right. So here's what did not make the top 10 list for the committee. Cocaine Bear. The Care Bears. The Berenstain Bears. Ted Bear in the Big blue House. The Hillbilly Bears. Po from Kung Fu Panda. The Coca Cola Polar Bears. Little John. Not Little John, but Little John.

[A]

Right. Little John from the Robin Hood. Disney. Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Because Little John is not a bear.

[A]

Not a bear. As far as we know.

[B]

Lotso Huggin bear.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Lotso Hugginbear. He was the main antagonist in one of the toy story episodes, two or three. Yeah, I think he was voiced by Ed Asner too. Petey the sexual harassment Panda. Haribo Gold Bears. Charmin Bears. Ham's beer Bear. The Jazz Bear from the Utah Jazz Bear from the Revenant. Coach Ditka. Papa Bear. George Hallis Bear Bryant bear Grylls. Bear McCrary. Freddy Fazbear from Five Nights at Freddy's. The horror shows. Horror movies. Nothing. Blumhouse Productions. No, nothing. The bear television show. Carmi Burzado with Jeremy Allen White. Mr. Bear from Full House. It's apparently Stephanie Tanner's favorite teddy bear. Became point of many episodes. Breezley Bruin and Bart the Bear, Famous acting bear who was in more than 35 TV shows and movies. So that was from the. The group, the list that the committee then derived their top 10 list from.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Good. Yeah.

[A]

We got a lot of work to do today.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A lot.

[B]

All right, number 10.

[A]

And I will tell you, as always, now you have mentioned some of mine. I'm not going to tell you if they're on the list or not on the. But I've got some others where you didn't even consider.

[B]

Great. That's how it's supposed to work. Okay, so Here at number 10, the number 10 greatest bear of all time has a audio note to attach.

[A]

Say this is an honorable mention.

[B]

Early to rise, early in the side. Thank God I'm a country bear well, a simple kind of life Never did me no harm Raising up a family.

[A]

And working on a farm Cracker ass.

[B]

Bastard'S got a charm thank God I'm a country bear well, I got me a fine wife Got me old. All right, so that musical note brings us to number 10 on the top 10 Bears of all time.

[A]

Oh, I know what it is.

[B]

Billy Bob Brokeley.

[A]

Is that from Disney's Country Bear Jamboree.

[B]

Was the main mascot and lead singer and bassist for the animatronic band the Rock Afire Explosion at Show Biz Pizza Place, which then became Chuck E. Cheese.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hey, if you're an 80s kid.

[A]

Yeah, no, thanks.

[B]

If you're an 80s kid. Oh, I'm sorry. Was. Was Showbiz Pizza Place beneath you?

[A]

I'd never. I've never been.

[B]

Oh, that's a. Travis and I only.

[A]

Took Jason to Chuck E. Cheese once because he had this weird papa shot phase.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where, like, he thought he was the best Papa shot player in the world. He may have been, but I just. Fine, we'll go. He's like, we gotta go to Chuck E. Cheese. Whatever, dude.

[B]

All right, so number 10 is Billy Bob Broccoli. All right, number nine, Jack Nicklaus, the Golden Bear. Retired American golfer, golf course designer. During his career, Nicklaus won 117 professional tournaments on the PGA, including a record 18 majors championships. Along with the 18 majors wins, the Golden Bear finished as the runner up in 19 other majors, making him number nine on the top 10 list. Jack Nicklaus, the Golden Bear. Okay, all right, number eight, the three bears. From the classic fairy tale Goldilocks and the Three Bears, about a young girl who enters the home of a family of bears and tries their porridge chairs and beds, finding them to be too soft, too hard, or too Big. Until she finds things that are just right.

[A]

That is my number nine.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

The three bears. I have at number nine.

[B]

So this is number eight on the official committee's list. The bears return to find her asleep in their home. She flees in fear when they confront her. Did you know, Dan, the story evolved from the original version featuring an old woman and bachelor bears to the familiar tale of a girl and a bear family.

[A]

This one's just right.

[B]

Yeah, it got that. Can still be found in my Porto collection.

[A]

This one's too hard. This one's too soft.

[B]

This one's just right. So it was an old woman and a group of bachelor bears who had their home that she broke into that. Apparently, it evolved into a cuter fairy tale story of a young girl and a family of bears.

[A]

Where'd you find that piece of information?

[B]

Hey, it's right there on Wikipedia, so it's got to be true. All right, I want to read that one, though. Gotta go to my library and pull.

[A]

It out of your porno books.

[B]

Porno books. Number seven is Winnie the Pooh. He's a fictional anthropomorphic teddy bear created by English author AA Line. Is it Milne?

[A]

Milne.

[B]

Thank you, illustrator E H Shepard. First appearing in the 1920s, based on a real stuffed toy belonging to Mill's son, Christopher Robin, Pooh is known for his love of honey, crack cocaine, and his gentle nature.

[A]

And he is one of two bears who I had under consideration, voiced by the same actor, Sterling Holloway.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Just a little note.

[B]

So consideration. But not in your top 10.

[A]

Neither one is in the top 10. Or honorable mention.

[B]

Winnie the Pooh didn't make it.

[A]

Hell, no.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And I just want you to read Dorothy Parker's famous review of Winnie the Pooh. Do you know that?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

She wrote it in, like, 19. This was the House at Pooh Corner. This was published by Dorothy Parker in 1928.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And she quotes it multiple times and said pom. Said Pooh. I put that in to make it more hummy. And it is that word, hummy, my darlings, that marks the first place in the House at Pooh Corner, at which Tunsten Weeder fwod up. That was Dorothy Parker, who, yes, wrote that in 1928 in the first review when it first came out. Too treacly, too annoying. And it's so good a hum. Did it seem that he and Piglet started right out through the snow? How to hum it? Hopefully to Eeyore. Oh, darn. There I've gone and given away the Plot. I could bite my tongue out.

[B]

Wow, it's really harsh for a fucking kids book lady. Settle down.

[A]

First of all, Dorothy Parker ruled, okay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dorothy Parker, all timer.

[B]

All right. I guess. Yeah. Angry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Number six and drunk. Sergeant Donnie Donowitz. The bear Jew is a Jewish American member of the fictional commando unit the Bastards in Quentin Tarantino's 2009 film Inglourious Basterds. Portrayed by actor Eli Roth, Danowitz is infamous for using a baseball bat to beat German soldiers to death. A brutal tactic that instilled terror in the Nazi forces. Number six, Sergeant Donnie Donowitz.

[A]

Good one.

[B]

The bear Jew.

[A]

Very good one.

[B]

All right, number five also has a audio note here.

[A]

Only you can prevent forest fires.

[B]

Number five, Smokey Bear, the iconic symbol of the US Forest Service's Wildfire Prevention campaign, known for his slogan, only you can prevent wildfires. Created in 1944, the campaign aims to educate the public about preventing human caused wildfires.

[A]

My number 10.

[B]

There you go. Number 10, Smokey Bear.

[A]

Number 10 was Smokey Bear.

[B]

All right, number where we at here? Number four on our list also comes with a audio note. Dan.

[A]

Ah, time for some joke riddles. Yes. What kind of shoes are made from banana skins? Slippers. What kind of rooms have no walls? Mushrooms. When is a door not a door? When it's a door.

[B]

All right. Fozzie Bear comes in at number four on the top ten list is a beloved Muppet character from the Muppet show. Known for his role as a struggling stand up comedian who often tells corny jokes, is frequently heckled by the audience. Fozzie is a well meaning but insecure character who tries to tries his best to make people laugh. Later in life, Fozzie would be twice divorced and addicted to pills and alcohol. He comes in at number four on our top ten list of all time bears.

[A]

My number three.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Was Fozzie Bear, voiced by the great Frank Oz.

[B]

Nice. All right, number three is Baloo. Baloo is a fictional character, most famously a friendly, laid back sloth bear from Rudyard Kipling's Jungle Book and its Disney adaptations. He is also the protagonist of the Disney animated series Tailspin, where he is an anthropomorphic pilot. In 2017, he auditioned for the role of Lieutenant Jake Hangman Saracen in the Academy Award nominated film Top Gun Maverick. The role eventually went to Glenn Powell, but Blue checks in at number three on our top ten list of all time bears.

[A]

All right, okay.

[B]

Number two is Paddington Bear. He's a beloved fictional character from the Children's book series. Yeah. Not a favorite of mine, but the committee loved him. A bear called Paddington by Michael Bond, first published in 1958. The polite, marmalade loving bear. And it's not that marmalade. This the song.

[A]

I thought it was Lady Marmalade loving Bear.

[B]

That's what he loved. From the darkest. Adopted by the Brown family. Not a brown family, because ice would be there. And named after the London train station where he was found. Number two is Paddington bear. And the number one bear, according to the committee of the top 10 bears of all time. Number one is Yogi bear, an anthropomorphic bear character created by Hanna Barbera Productions, who first appeared in 1958 on the Huckleberry Hound show before getting his own series after a long negotiation, the Yogi bear Show in 1961. Known for his signature catchphrase, I'm smarter than the average bear, and his love for stealing picnic baskets from visitors at Jellystone Park, Yogi is often accompanied by his sidekick, Boo Boo Bear, but he ranks in at number one on the all time top ten bears list by our selection committee.

[A]

You didn't have the note about him spiraling into meth addiction and porn addiction. You didn't have that part living in.

[B]

A trailer park just outside Jellystone.

[A]

I had Yogi at number eight.

[B]

Number eight.

[A]

And I think. But my. The only problem I have with Yogi is the. Is. First of all, I love the fact that the name is a play on Yogi Berra, which is funny, but his entire Persona is stolen from Art Carney's portrayal of Ed Norton on the Honeymooners.

[B]

Yeah, he's like a Jersey character guy.

[A]

No, it's Ed Norton.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Ralphie boy. That's the bit. Even down to the hat.

[B]

The hat, the tie.

[A]

It's all Art Carney as Ed Norton on the Honeymoon.

[B]

Yeah. What a great homage.

[A]

Okay, but he kind of. He just lifted it.

[B]

Well, he didn't really lift it.

[A]

Hanna and Barbera did. Joseph Hanna and William Barbera.

[B]

Yeah. Of Hanna Barbera Production.

[A]

Yes. Okay, so.

[B]

But again, you're talking about revenue generation, iconic status, popularity.

[A]

I didn't use any of that. I just used the. Whatever I wanted.

[B]

Well, yeah, no, that. That's how you do your list. The committee has their official criteria.

[A]

Okay, well, that is the committee's list. And now I'm going to give you mine. We should note that four don't need extra comment. My number 10 is Smokey. My number nine is the three bears. My number eight is Yogi and Fozzie. Bear number three. Okay, so first I want to talk about, like, bears as mascots in general. I wasn't gonna do every. Every single mascot. Cal Bears and UCLA Bruins. Too much. It was just too much for all of the sports teams that we're doing. But I do want to give special mention to our friends Staley and Clark.

[B]

Okay. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Who I both consider.

[B]

You know, the committee forgot Clark. They deliberately left him off because of the not wearing pants.

[A]

Sorry issue. Look, I. Clark's cool. Staley's cool. I've got nothing. I got nothing but love.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Out there in the world for our dear friends Staley and. And Clark. Some others of note that have not been mentioned yet in the list here of commercial mascots. Well, first let me say other Bear Aspirin. I didn't count because it's B A Y E R. Because I think that's a huge deal. The Bayer Corporation. Bayer Aspirin. Max. B A Y E R. But it's not Bayer. Bayer. It just sounds like it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Max Bayer. B A E R. The heavyweight boxer and his son, Max Baer Jr. Who you know is Jethro from Beverly Hillbillies.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So that's B A E R. Max.

[B]

Baer, featured in the movie Cinderella man with Russell Crowe.

[A]

Okay. Is that right? Was that Max Bear? Yeah. Okay, well, it wasn't his story.

[B]

No, it wasn't his story. It was Cinderella Man's story.

[A]

Correct. I don't think. Did you mention BJ and the Bear?

[B]

Did not mention BJ and the Bear.

[A]

The only reason I thought that BJ and the Bear.

[B]

It's not Ben Johnson.

[A]

No, because the chimpanzee named Bear was named after Bear Bryant, who was mentioned by the committee. Who was mentioned by the committee. So I had him on there among the commercial mascots. So Ham's Beer Bear.

[B]

Yep. We have that on our list.

[A]

Icy, the slushy drink. The Polar Bear.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the Polar Bear. Nice. That's a good one.

[A]

Snuggle Bear.

[B]

Oh, the fabric softener.

[A]

And my favorite of the mascots, who is one of the Sterling Holloway voice bears. Sugar Bear, the mascot from post. Super Sugar Crisp.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Some of the highest differential between quality of mascot and quality of cereal. Yeah, that cereal sucked out loud. It was. It was that and Sugar Smacks. Dig. Them both terrible cereals.

[B]

And they stuck in Sugar Smacks.

[A]

They stuck together in a huge clump in the box. Yeah. The worst. And then they tried to package it in foil. It was super sugar crisp before it became super golden crisp because they had to and they changed Sugar Smacks to Honey Smacks.

[B]

Good catch.

[A]

There you go. They had to get the word out of there. But I love Sugar Bear. I just thought it was cool.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And there is on my. On my list of others, Berenstain Bear sucked. And everybody I used to. Oh, Bernstein, Bernstein. Bears bite me.

[B]

Committee had it there.

[A]

No poo. No. Paddington Care Bears. Kung Fu Panda. Eh. Oh, Gentle Ben and Ben the bear from Grizzly Adams.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Gentle Ben was. They had some bear play gentle. I think it was Clint Howard, Ron Howard's little brother who was in Gentle Ben. Both TV shows and. Or Grizzly Adams movie became a TV show. I thought they were the same thing. I never knew the difference between Gentle Ben and Ben.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I thought they were same universe, same. They're not. Stop naming two different bears Ben. It's confusing and neither of you made the list, okay? So get the hell out of here.

[B]

The.

[A]

The. When you mentioned a golden bear. I just want to give special shout out to the former Golden Bear restaurant in Deerfield that existed at the northwest corner of Lake Cook Road and Waukegan Road. It was sort of a half subterranean kind of dark pancake house. And I just have memories as a kid of being happy when the family would go to the Golden Bear because they had not just maple syrup, but they had a wooden rack that contained multiple glass jars with that sliding thumb tab. You know what I'm talking about? You push down the thumb tab and it pulls the syrup open on the top. Containers of multiple flavors of syrup. So it was maple syrup, strawberry syrup, blueberry syrup. They were all cinnamon syrup. That would all. And the Golden Bear was that. That. I think that was where I learned to like pancakes.

[B]

Dan, if you're interested, I would be willing to do this with you. Take a road trip and we could even record an episode maybe there. They have two locations still.

[A]

No, not this. It's got to be a new version of it. Can't be the same old golden bear. And they had like coloring booked or coloring menus and they had their own mascot at the time. Is it something.

[B]

All right, is this. Is this not it right here? Is that not.

[A]

Let me see.

[B]

Yeah, take a look at that logo. Is that not it?

[A]

It's updated.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's definitely updated.

[B]

So this is the pancake and creperie restaurants. Www.goldiebear.com Golden Bear Pancake and crepery restaurants.

[A]

Well, I don't remember the crepery. Oh, it's a little too bougie for. For those of us who like the regular.

[B]

Too bougie in Deerfield.

[A]

Golden Bear, I think it became.

[B]

You get your goddamn crepes on a Deerfield.

[A]

It became a rib joint after the Golden Bear left.

[B]

Yeah, I see that transition a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From pancakes to ribs. Yeah, that works.

[A]

It's just what it became.

[B]

Pretty.

[A]

But so a little credit there goes to the Golden Bear. And you mentioned. You mentioned gummy bears.

[B]

Yeah, the Haribo.

[A]

So let me give my honorable mentions.

[B]

Okay. Oh, wow.

[A]

Okay, we are now into honorable mentions. First of all, Oksana from Borat. If you remember in the movie Borat, Borat's wife.

[B]

My wife.

[A]

His wife, who was also his half sister. He gets a telegram after he leaves his wife in Kazakhstan. And when he gets to the United States, he receives a telegram that his wife has been, I think, in their words, violated and then killed by a bear. And he celebrates. Yes, he was very happy that his wife had been killed by a bear. Later on in the movie, he tries to buy a gun. He's not allowed to buy a gun, so he needs something for security. So he buys a bear, and he names the bear Oksana, after his wife, half sister, who was killed by a bear. So Oksana from Borat, honorable mention. Also honorable mention from Starsky and Hutch. Huggy Bear.

[B]

Oh, Huggy Bear. That's a good one.

[A]

Huggy Bear, as portrayed by Antonio Fargas, whose son, Justin Fargas was a University of Michigan running back who was in the NFL. Huggy Bear, an informant. Always had the. Had the drop. Always knew you could always find Huggy Bear. I don't know why they didn't actually make him a cop by that point. Because there were a lot of their mysteries that didn't get solved. And their murders, their crimes that Starsky and Hutch could never solve without a perfectly convenient trip to go talk to Huggy Bear. Cause he had his ear to the streets. He always knew what was going down, and he. It was the deus ex machina. Whenever they were stymied, Huggy Bear could help him out. So honorable mention to Huggy Bear. Last honorable mention, billy bear from 48 hours.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That's a good one, too, if you remember. Yeah. Played by Sonny Latham.

[B]

Yes. Lots of movies.

[A]

Murderous, angry, abusive, scary. Billy bear from 48 hours. Now, what's interesting here, that perhaps you did not know that Sonny Latham played Billy Bear in another movie. The same character. You talk about a universe you didn't know existed somehow. Can you name the other movie in which the same actor he's only known as Billy in the other movie. But in both movies he's got his trademark knife. He's got his crazy laugh.

[B]

Yeah. Predator.

[A]

Yes. Very good. I am impressed.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

That he played the same character in Predator.

[B]

Yeah, it was the knife that gave it away because remember, he's on the bridge and yeah, he's a tracker.

[A]

And again, hand to hand combat. Same way they took him down in 48 hours. Same actor, both characters named Billy. So honorable mention to Billy Bear. Nice mentioned smokey bear number 10, the three bears. Number nine, Yogi bear number eight. At number seven on my list of the all time top 10 bears is a real bear. Although it was the character Victor the Bear.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Victor the bear in the 70s and 80s, I believe was a known as Victor the wrestling bear.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the wrestling bear. Yeah.

[A]

Who defeated two people we know, Terry Bors. He defeated Terry Bors.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That Terry did wrestle Victor the wrestling bear. And as the story goes, Victor sat on Terry's head.

[B]

That explains it all.

[A]

As one does. And apparently Victor also, and I don't know the outcome of this match, that Victor the bear also wrestled former Bears defensive coordinator Rod Marinelli.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

True story.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So we have two connections to the actual Victor the bear at number seven. Number six is a bear that you mentioned. And I believe we have some sound. Petey the sexual harassment panda from south park who lives in the east neath the willow tree. Sexual harassment panda who explains sexual harassment to you and me. Sexual harassment Panda. Don't say that. Don't touch there. Don't be nasty. Says the silly bear. He's gonna tell you what's right and wrong. Sexual harassment panda. That is number six, Petey the sexual harassment panda. In one of the great episodes of south park that also involved the island of misfit mascots that included the don't stare at the sun worm. As you remember here.

[B]

Quick note. Rod Marinelli back the story goes back in his high school days. Was Rod driving around with a group of his buddies cruising by a car dealership, had a gimmick sign out front saying you could wrestle a bear for $10. Marinelli Bud Marinelli's buddies got together the cash, had to scrape together 10 bucks and they set Rod on his way to wrestle Victor the bear. Taking it from Marinelli's buddies Gary Schramm and Dan and Don Gomez. So two of his high school pals who tell the story driving past the car dealership. 10 bucks to wrestle the bear.

[A]

And did he win or did the bear sit on his Head like it sat on Terry's head.

[B]

It was cold. The man was all wet. The bear was smelly. Let me tell you, we put the money up there. There goes Rod. Rod did then what Rod does now. He went in to win. There was no hesitation on the guy's part. He flew into that thing, and let me tell you, he had that bear on his back for about 10 seconds.

[A]

Well, okay.

[B]

But the Russian guy started poking Marinelli with a stick. It startled Marinelli. The bear recovered and pinned him. Marinelli reversed on him. They went back and forth. The Russian guy declared Victor the Victor. Schramm and Gomez said they cheated. Marinelli tried to be a good sport. Rod goes over to shake the bear's hand, and the bear doesn't know he's coming to shake hands. And the bear, hey, hey, bear. Good match.

[A]

That can also happen after a game with Dan Campbell.

[B]

Yes. So just.

[A]

Just be careful.

[B]

Wow. There you go.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

I didn't know the whole story.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Okay. Well, Victor, the bear at number seven. Number six was Petey, the sexual harassment panda. Number five, Ted.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, Ted was on our. Yeah, that's good. Ted's made this show. Actually, somebody emailed and said because of the show, they're watching Ted again.

[A]

Yeah, Ted. It's just. There's. There's. There's too much good from that. It's one of Seth MacFarlane's best creations. Ted is number five. Number four is Walter Payton.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because. Come on. Yeah, it's Walter Payton. Number three. Where is my number three? Fozzie. Fozzie. Fozzie Bear is my number three. Number two is a tie between the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper. Ursa's Major and Minor, the Big Bear and the Little Bear. Stars in the sky. Yep. Constellations. It's the first constellations you learn. You learn the Big Dipper. You learn that the front ladle of the Big Dipper points to Polaris, the North Star. You see Cassiopeia, and then sometimes a Little Dipper, sometimes a little harder to find. But they're Cosmo, they're stars, they're worlds. They deserve high rankings.

[B]

Okay. Is that your favorite constellation? Mine's Orion. Orion's fine like Orion, because I can always find him because of his belt.

[A]

His belt and his wiener that hangs off of it.

[B]

Is that his wiener or is that like a.

[A]

They say it's a sword.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I thought. I didn't think it was his wiener. It's not Jon Hamm up there.

[A]

I think it's different. Different collection of stars. But yeah, Orion's easy to find, obviously, in the winter. Cassiopeia's Draco dragon. There's a lot of good ones. The different list when we start doing constellations. So Ursa's major men are number two.

[B]

Yeah. If we ever do hockey, like, hockey list, we could do the Dallas Stars and be the top 10 stars of all time.

[A]

We'll get right on that.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And hockey. For me, the number one bear of all time. Of all time, without a doubt, is Beboo.

[B]

Beboo. Beboo Bear. Bee Boo Bear. Never heard of Beboo Bear.

[A]

You've never heard of Beboo?

[B]

I've never have.

[A]

You don't need to say bear. It's just Bee Boo.

[B]

Oh, Beboo. Sorry, never heard of Beeboo. I've heard of Bebop.

[A]

Nope. Bee Boo. Bee Boo is. And we laughed when the limu. The commercial came out with the other guy who has. He says the other mascot and calls him Bibu.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In our house, that was a big deal because Bibu, before our son could really talk, one of his first words really was Bibu.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which is how he said blue bear.

[B]

Blue bear was Bee Boo. And he has a blue bear.

[A]

Three of them.

[B]

He has three blue bears?

[A]

Well, two are at the house. One is still with him at college, at school. Oh, yeah.

[B]

So this is a stuffed animal.

[A]

It's sleeping.

[B]

It's a.

[A]

What do they call it? It's a bear. It's a blue bear's head on a blanket.

[B]

Yes. Okay.

[A]

What do they call those?

[B]

I don't know, but Jackson has one, and it's called a bumby. He calls it his bumby.

[A]

His bumby. Well, this is Bibu. And it was a light blue, but it was a gift. It was a birth gift to him. I forgot who got it for him. Embroidered with his name on it. So it just says Jason, and it's a blue bear. And over time, Beboo became such a necessity that you couldn't leave the. You had to make sure when you had the diaper bag, it was like diapers. Goldfish, you know, wipes.

[B]

And Bee Boo.

[A]

And a Bee Boo. So we had to order. We realized we had to order two more. So we had to call the person who got it as a gift to find out exactly where it came from to get more to get.

[B]

And they're all identical. It's three identical.

[A]

Only one has his name on it.

[B]

Oh, the other ones, we didn't Jason or Bibu.

[A]

It says Jason.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But the other ones we did not get embroidery.

[B]

It's identical except for the embroidery.

[A]

And he told us later, at one point he caught on. At one point he caught on to realizing that there were more when he.

[B]

Started to read and saw that there were letters on one and not on the other.

[A]

So. And then he admitted later, he's like, oh, yeah, I always knew they were different Bibus. I just didn't really care. But he said, I always knew from the moment which one was the right. The real Bibu and the other imposter Bibus. But they were all under the umbrella. They all had the auspices, the imprimatur of being Bibu, being in his family. Correct.

[B]

Okay. And he has one in college now.

[A]

Yeah. At one point, all three Bibus were with him.

[B]

So I think yesterday, talking about the concern of bringing friends back to the dirty room, I don't think dirt would be as big of a factor as a Bibu.

[A]

He does not care.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

And I told him that. And he goes, no, no. He said, bibu takes priority and he is making a completely autonomous adult decision. And he said, I don't care. It is Bibu. You know, they say pals before gals. Beboo before pals or gals.

[B]

Okay, so girl comes back, has an issue. He has an issue with Bibu. This is exactly kick heels.

[A]

That's exactly what he said. He said, any girl that has an issue with Bibu is not somebody I want to be with, whether it's temporarily or permanently.

[B]

Yeah, that.

[A]

That is a. It is a defining fact for him. That is a test for him. Anybody's got a problem with Bibu has a problem with him.

[B]

Bibu is his guy then.

[A]

Yep. I love it.

[B]

All right, so your number one is Bibu.

[A]

My number one is Bibu.

[B]

Very, very personal.

[A]

Power to Bibu.

[B]

All right, that's great. Now he's studying something at Tulane. Right now Bibu is.

[A]

Yeah, I wonder what.

[B]

Yeah, when you're paying for it. So find out.

[A]

I'm not paying for Bibu. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not.

[B]

You pay for all of it, Dan. Just find out.

[A]

As long as Bibu's drinking the same cheap beer. I don't know how expensive his tastes are, but I'll see Bibu in a couple days because we're headed down. I'll check on him. And he's probably at the bottom of a pile somewhere and he'll still find him and pile of dirty drawers. Yeah, probably. Hey, Abby's old drawers. Reach in there. Find a prize. Henry Henderson is gonna find it for him. Yeah. Three and a half on the, on the three and a halfs. Don't, don't. No, not on a Friday. Gonna bother you. All right, well, that's it. And just once again, we are going to be moving this segment. We'll be doing top 10 commanders.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I got the list already going. The committee's been meeting on it.

[A]

You're starting too early.

[B]

The command. It's the committee, it's not me.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

I come home and they're at the kitchen table.

[A]

I know you got enough trouble feeding all the boys. I know.

[B]

The committee. The committee, yes.

[A]

So that is your bi week edition and you can't really ask for anything more of forward progress, a Chicago Bears podcast. And I want to mention our friends at Beer Church.

[B]

Yes sir.

[A]

Because of all the cool stuff that they are doing as as the place to go in New Buffalo. And you think of New Buffalo, Michigan and you think about that part of the extended Chicagoland area and you think of summer. Well, the cool thing about beer church, it is a year round destination because their pizza school especially is a great place to have parties all throughout the year. You can take everybody to school literally and learn how to make pizza. It's just a quick trip and then your private party has your crew getting hands on with pizza making and learning how to stretch all of the dough in their Italian style wood fire kitchens. You have all of the famous ingredients. I'm a purist. When I did my pizza there, I just did a pizza margherita, a classic. But I tried all of the others because there's so much to try. And you can try all of their small batch beers that they're brewing there and you can do a package with wine or cocktails. Two hours for lunch or dinner, private, exclusive friends or family or the office or your fantasy football group when I'll come out there and you can watch games. They have this incredible patio there at the beer church with all of these flat screen TVs. Skip the same old night out. Make your next gathering unforgettable. Book now beerchurchbrewing.com in New Buffalo, Michigan. Wood fired Neapolitan style pizza, small batch craft beer and I absolutely love it. You will too. Go to beerchurchbrewing.com and we thank you for joining us today. This show has been brought to you by Beer Church. Did I do the read at the top?

[B]

You did, sir.

[A]

I think I did. All right. Just making sure everybody making sure we take care of our folks here and.

[B]

Have a great weekend.

[A]

Thank you. By the time you're hearing this, I am lost in New Orleans somewhere.

[B]

Fried chicken skin, hopefully.

[A]

Probably either at Ida Maze or. Where else would I go? I don't.

[B]

Your bathtub.

[A]

I'm going to discover new. Oh, brothers, brothers, brothers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is amazing. So, yeah. All right. And then we'll be right back at it super footbally when we return on Monday.

[B]

Forward Progress, a Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abaticola on 31 2SP.