What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here?

Summary

Forward Progress – A Chicago Bears Podcast: “What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here?”
April 10, 2026 | Hosted by Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola on 312 Sports

---

Episode Overview

This lively episode of Forward Progress finds Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola blending their signature banter with an off-kilter but insightful look at all things Bears—especially the off-season roster moves, the Bears’ draft prospects, and some notable NFL-wide storylines. After a famously digressive opening, the hosts settle into dense Bears talk, mocking up draft prospects and tackling everything from wide receiver workouts to ownership comments and the latest in NFL antitrust investigations. All this is served up with their ironic wit and deeply-rooted Chicago football passion.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Humorous Cold Open & Chemistry

• The hosts open with a string of spontaneous musical riffs, joking about the song "Shock the Monkey." Their comedic rapport is front-and-center, setting a playful, loose tone.
  • Quote – Dan (B): “You did it again. And I fell for it. You start singing, I automatically start singing. And then you try to get the singing captured in the open.” [01:22]
  • Quote – Matt (C): “The Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola on 312 Sports.” [01:15]

2. Roster Workouts & Offseason Activities

• Notable off-season Bears workout organized by rookie QB Caleb Williams at USC’s facility, including key receiving targets like Rome Odunze, Colston Loveland, Luther Burden, and Walker.
  • Dan observes this signals Walker’s value on the roster, at least in the eyes of the incoming QB. [06:42]
  • Matt suggests this might foreshadow Walker’s increased role in the offense, teasing implications for upcoming draft plans—specifically, the WR room and development prospects. [07:37]
  • Passing mention of Khalif Raymond's (not “Raymond Khalif”) absence and speculation about veteran priorities and team chemistry. [08:26]

3. Owner George McCaskey’s Comments & Bears Philosophy

• Recap of George McCaskey’s official comments on ChicagoBears.com regarding the team's playoff run, leadership, and priorities going forward.
  • Dan paraphrases McCaskey: “The goal is to win the Super Bowl...they fight like hell for each other. They fight like hell for their coach...complacency is not going to be an issue.” [13:32]
  • Matt appreciates McCaskey’s candor and calls for the creation of a “roundtable of knights” as a running joke about team honor and accountability. [14:19]
  • The duo praise McCaskey’s championship mindset and refusal to settle: “We haven't achieved our goal. That's good stuff from an owner.” [14:07]

4. Ben Johnson’s Impact as Head Coach

• Extended riff on coach Ben Johnson’s intensity, innovation, and effect on player morale, reading McCaskey’s praise with Shatner-esque delivery for comedic effect. [15:39–16:51]
• “He’s intense. He’s intelligent, he’s innovative, he’s passionate. He’s got the players believing in him and more importantly, believing in themselves. No matter what happens, this group of players figures we’re not out of it. We’re going to have to find a way to win. And we will find a way to win.” – McCaskey, as read by Dan [15:39–16:17]

5. NFL Antitrust Investigation and TV Contracts

• Matt drops the news of a Department of Justice investigation into NFL’s anti-competitive TV subscription practices. [17:20]
  • Dan delivers his trademark skepticism, questioning the government’s motives and theorizing potential for political or financial benefit behind the scenes. [18:07–20:25]
  • “Because how did. Could they bet on something via Poly Market or Cal she. That would allow them to make money?” – Dan [18:07]

6. Bears Mock Draft Deep Dive

• Dan walks through a “USA Today Bears Wire” seven-round Bears mock draft, highlighting prospects, their unusual measurables, and raising eyebrows at clearly erroneous metric reporting.[21:06–27:15]
  • Zion Young (Tackle), Tredon Stukes (Safety), Sam Hecht (Center), Demonte Capehart (DT), Takario Davis (CB), Enrique Cruz Jr (OT), and Xavion Thomas (WR).
  • Many jokes about impossible athletic feats (“33-foot-5 jump,” “6’6” safety”) and clownish measurements.
    • “He had a 33 foot 5 inch jump...unless he’s a velociraptor.” – Matt [24:33]
    • “It’s like the draft of freaks. One of us. One of us.” [27:15]
• Both express cautious optimism about offensive line focus, but take the mock’s details with a grain of salt. Matt jokes about the prospects who miss out: “They go right to the circus.” [27:20]

7. Matt Miller’s Top Prospects & Draft Comparisons

• Matt shares Matt Miller’s top five overall draft prospects, discussing heights, weights, and NFL player comps.
  • Jeremiah Love (RB, comp: Reggie Bush), Fernando Mendoza (QB, comp: Joe Burrow), Caleb Downs (S, comp: Budda Baker), Arvel Reese (LB, comp: Abdul Carter), Sonny Styles (LB, comp: Fred Warner). [28:10–29:48]
  • Discussion of Ohio State’s dominance in draft rankings.

8. Weekend Plans, UFL, & Local Sports Dad Life

• Light-hearted exchange about United Football League viewing habits, baseball tournaments, and the time management struggles of being parents to athletes. [31:13–34:24]
  • Seeds and gum prohibited at new turf fields; Matt jokes about replacing his “seed habit” by taking up cigarettes to pass the time. [33:50]
  • “I’m gonna try to kick my seed habit by smoking c[igarettes].” – Matt [34:15]

9. Quirky Closing Banter

• More riffs on outrageous mock draft data, inside jokes about Bears’ oddball prospects, and Halloween costume ideas.
  • “And the Bears are gonna draft the six-six safety, so...” – Matt [35:55]
• The show ends with self-aware, tongue-in-cheek reflection on episode progress. [36:27–37:06]
  • “We did not advance the ball at all.” – Matt
  • “We’ve advanced. This is the farthest down the field we’ve advanced, and that is from where we’ll make the next snap.” – Dan

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You could rock the monkey. Just don’t touch the monkey.” – Matt [02:19]
• “If he runs a 4.28 and is lasting until round seven, something's wrong. Either he's four feet tall, or... he simply cannot catch.” – Dan [26:59]
• “Why was George [McCaskey] doing this again?” – Matt [16:51]
• “It’s like the draft of freaks. One of us. One of us.” – Dan [27:15]
• “I’m gonna try to kick my seed habit by smoking c[igarettes].” – Matt [34:15]
• “We did not advance the ball at all.” – Matt [36:39]
• “With our mascot, Shock, who is a monkey.” – Dan [37:02]

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:00–03:00] – Musical banter, “Shock the Monkey” jokes
• [06:42–09:11] – Bears' off-season workout and roster implications
• [13:01–16:19] – George McCaskey’s interview & organizational philosophy
• [17:20–20:29] – DOJ antitrust investigation into NFL TV contracts
• [21:06–27:15] – Bears seven-round mock draft review
• [28:10–29:48] – Matt Miller’s top prospects rundown
• [31:13–34:24] – UFL, baseball tournaments, and Chicago sports-parent routines
• [35:55–37:06] – Closing banter, reflection, and sign-off

---

Episode Tone & Style

The show’s tone is irreverent, sarcastic, intermittently serious, and above all, steeped in genuine Chicago Bears fandom. Dan and Matt constantly riff, joke, and debate in a way that feels authentic to life-long friends with deep-seated football passion. Even while poking fun at themselves or the media, their football insight and Bears expertise shine through.

---

In Short:
If you want an episode that pokes fun at the NFL, mocks draft season nonsense, and gives you authentic, unfiltered Bears talk from two of the city's sharpest and most entertaining sports voices, this episode is hard to beat. Skip the ads and come for the inside jokes, zany stats, and a refreshing reminder that even in the off-season, football talk can be gloriously fun.

Transcript

[A]

If you like exciting audio dramas, then you'll love my earth shaking new podcast, American Afterlife, presented by pair of Thieves. I'm Scarlett Estevez and I play Cielo, a girl forced to survive on her own after an earthquake devastates the Pacific Northwest. Luckily, creating this audio drama wasn't a solo mission. I'm grateful I had a wonderful team with me. Make sure to listen to this suspenseful story wherever you get your podcasts. American afterlife coming April 21st to your favorite podcast platform. When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[B]

Don't touch my monkey. I mean, if you're a Bears fan, you're thinking, no Forward Progress.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

What?

[B]

You're not starting it to try to catch me singing.

[C]

I didn't. Yeah, you did. No, you didn't.

[B]

You weren't on there.

[C]

The Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and MattDiTableola on 312 Sports.

[B]

You did it again. And I fell for it. You start singing, I automatically start singing. And then you try to get the singing captured in the open.

[C]

I didn't.

[B]

I.

[C]

No idea what you're talking about. I'm on to you now.

[B]

I know what you did.

[C]

Welcome to Forward Progress here on 312Sports alongside Dan Bernstein. I'm Matt Abola. Glad to be here with you another day on this glorious Friday.

[B]

You're a jerk is what you are.

[C]

Why? I'm sorry. I don't understand where this hostility is coming from.

[B]

Straight strangers in the night. Because I know what you. And it's my fault. I fell for it.

[C]

Yes. Take accountability, my friend.

[B]

I.

[C]

You.

[B]

You even told me that you said that you were going to do this on purpose because you knew that every time you started singing, I would start singing. And then you started the show when I wasn't expecting.

[C]

Yeah. And it was really good. I think the open here to forward Progress has you saying, don't touch my monkey.

[B]

Well, one shouldn't. I think that's good advice going into a weekend.

[C]

You could rock the monkey. Just don't touch the monkey.

[B]

No. Shock the monkey.

[C]

Oh, you can't ro. Rock him. You can Shock him. Rock the monkey. Oh, it's Shock the monkey.

[B]

Shock them.

[C]

Like, with, like, electrical wiring or, like, a defibrillator.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

How do you shock them?

[B]

You're not shocking his heart back into sinus rhythm. No, they're talking about, like, experimentation that's done on lab animals. It's not Rock the Monkey.

[C]

But doesn't Rock the Monkey make more sense? Because it's a rock song.

[B]

The kasbah gets rocked. The monkey gets shocked.

[C]

But then you. But then you shook me all night long.

[B]

That's different. But you.

[C]

You.

[B]

If you need something to rock the kasbah.

[C]

Rock the kasbah.

[B]

Yes. Sharif, don't think Shock the monkey. He thinks. It's not kosher.

[C]

Okay, so you're not allowed to touch the monkey or rock the monkey. Just shock the monkey.

[B]

Shock the monkey.

[C]

Okay, wait, is that something you're doing to the monkey or is that his name? Is he Shock the Monkey? Shock the Monkey. And that's his name? He wears a little toddler's T shirt that says Shock.

[B]

Can we start over?

[C]

No, I don't want to start over. This is fine, okay?

[B]

I just. I don't know if this is fine.

[C]

It is fine. Wait, so are you sure it's not his name? And it's an action.

[B]

It is something that one does. Yes, one shocks the monkey.

[C]

Okay, so his name is not Shock the Monkey.

[B]

Shock the.

[C]

The Monkey.

[B]

The monkey.

[C]

Okay. And you're positive of that?

[B]

I'm not 100%. No. I don't have Peter Gabriel right here to answer that question.

[C]

Right, so you've left the possibility open that his name is Shock the Monkey. The name happened.

[B]

I cannot prove that it's not named. And also that Shock the Monkey. That coincidentally could also be Shocked.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Which would be an astronomic turn in this.

[C]

But you are 100% positive it is not Rock the Monkey.

[B]

Correct. Unless there is a monkey named Rock.

[C]

Okay, but we don't know about him.

[B]

There's a song about him. It might be the Monkeys named Rock, but is also shocked.

[C]

Okay. You could shock Rock the monkey, but

[B]

that would be Shock Rock. And then you're talking about Ozzy Osbourne and. Or Gene Simmons or perhaps the founding father of Shock Rock and a friend of Hubbard Chicago, Alice Cooper.

[C]

All right, so if you haven't noticed yet here on 312Sports, when we do forward progress, it's the third podcast of the morning.

[B]

It said Rock the Monkey.

[C]

Well, I thought it was Rock the Monkey. I didn't know that. You have to Shock The Monkey. I didn't know that he was Shock the Monkey.

[B]

Okay, yes. This is Forward Progress, a Chicago Bears and NFL podcast. Ow.

[C]

Your fault.

[B]

No, it's your fault. You're the one that was making me sing about it.

[C]

Take accountability, my friend.

[B]

I was singing about it because when he sings, I automatically sing, and he knew that.

[C]

And you can't tell when I'm pushing the buttons either.

[B]

No, I can't. And that's what you did.

[C]

That's all I do is push the buttons.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

I just don't shock the monkey or

[B]

rock one's monkey or say, don't rock someone else's monkey either. Don't think bad things happen.

[C]

Why did Terry never have Shock the Monkey and his crew?

[B]

I don't know. It never. It never materialized. He maybe didn't have room. I. I don't know.

[C]

He had the sick monkey, the sink monkey, Seek monkey, this Iranian space monkey, which is no longer a friend of ours.

[B]

No. No. What do we do?

[C]

I would like to.

[B]

Is he's on special assignment.

[C]

Would like to repair that relationship. Yeah, maybe we can send. We can send Shady.

[B]

No, we're gonna send. We're gonna send our guy jd. He'll. He's. He's gonna show up, and then he's gonna. You know, he'll have a conversation, and then Shock is going to take one look at him, be like, hey, get out of here.

[C]

Maybe we can get a government official from Pakistan to repair that relationship with our Iranian space monkey.

[B]

Yeah, we need help. We need. We need everybody to. To rise to the occasion and help us out, because we're. We're really people. So many people love us around the world.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Huge fans of the podcast, too.

[C]

And if you couldn't tell, this is where we talk about the Bears and the NFL.

[B]

Yes, the Bears and the NFL. The Bears had a. Thanks for repeating that they had a workout. Did you see this? Did you see that? Important people on the Bears got together. If you are following the Instagram of Jade Walker, and really, who isn't, how can you get through your day without checking in on the Instagram feed of Jade Walker? And he convened a group. He had everybody together, and the off season session was. It was. Excuse me. It was Caleb that put it together. It was at USC's training facility. Sorry. It was Walker who shared it, but it was Caleb who had Roma Dun, Colston, Loveland, Luther Burden, and Walker all there to throw the ball around and run some stuff that tells me that Walker is comfortably on this roster, at least for now. At least there's. At least Caleb is under the impression he's going to have walk around or he wouldn't waste his time with him.

[C]

Oh, well, if that. Was that a doubt. Was that a question? In my mind. But I think what it does. That's interesting because I was. I was going a different direction with it, with you setting that up. It wasn't that he's comfortably on the roster. I think he's comfortably in position to have a more and greater significant role in what the offense does this year. Does that give you any kind of insight as far as what the Bears draft might look like? Because there have been wide receivers up and down mock drafts from, you know, early in day three to later in day three for the Chicago Bears.

[B]

Yeah, I wouldn't have any problem with the developmental guy in the system, much like Walker was last year where Walker was a practice squad guy who worked his way onto the roster and then worked his way into action. He. In making critical plays in significant games.

[C]

So now do you think that they. They iced out Raymond Khalif, though?

[B]

Khalif. Raymond. I don't know about Raymond Khalif, but Khalif.

[C]

Did I say his name backwards?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, it's Khalif Raymond.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Let me take a look at my notes here.

[B]

Yes. Khalif Raymond has been.

[C]

Oh, yeah. As a.

[B]

As a return man.

[C]

And why they I. Because he's a Lion.

[B]

I don't know. Maybe he's busy. He's a veteran. He's 31. He's busy. He's got probably a family and things.

[C]

Well, I don't like it. He should be part of the crew.

[B]

I don't know. That's right. He's not trying hard enough.

[C]

That's it. We need to check in with Braxton Ashcraft.

[B]

Braxton Ashcraft and Graham Ashcraft.

[C]

All right, so that's exciting news that the wide receivers are getting together with the tight end and the quarterback and they're throwing footballs around. It was footballs, right?

[B]

Where's Cole? That's the question.

[C]

Oh, he's busy.

[B]

Cole Comet.

[C]

Yeah. He's a veteran guy.

[B]

That's an excused absence for Cole Comet.

[C]

It is. Yeah. That's very excused.

[B]

Doesn't he have a family or was he not invited? No, he. You're an inline tight end. You're a y tight end. You're not. You're not the u. Tight end.

[C]

You're not. Maybe he's bulking up for the left tackle job.

[B]

Hey, man, it could. Well, he'd have to Add too much weight.

[C]

Is cold married?

[B]

He's athletic enough. I don't know.

[C]

I don't know if he's married or not. Maybe. Yeah, maybe he was just too busy. He was like you young kids. You go do your thing and toss the ball around the yard. I'm gonna go sit in the Barco lounger and watch tv.

[B]

If he's allowed, you know, wants to sit and maybe watch. Watch the Masters this weekend. Get a nice.

[C]

Oh, that's what he's doing. He's watching the Masters. I bet you he's a golfer.

[B]

Little amen. Corner golf nap there.

[C]

I bet you he's a golfer and he's watching golf.

[B]

Or playing it. Yes, probably.

[A]

What would you do if your online store converted 36% more shoppers? You could take 36% more vacation.

[C]

Another pina colada? Yes, please.

[A]

Open a new retail location with 36% more square feet.

[B]

Fantastic.

[A]

Hire 36% more help.

[C]

You're hired.

[B]

And you're hired.

[A]

Shopify has the world's best converting checkout up to 36% better than other e commerce platforms. What you do with those extra sales is up to you. Switch to Shopify [e-mail] setup and get a $1 trial.

[C]

Shopify.com setup a real quick note, because, you know, we're. I didn't want to mention this before I forget because I want to offer congratulations to Seattle Seahawks quarterback Sam Darnold.

[B]

Why? What did he got? Oh, congrats.

[C]

He got married, so he got his. You know, he got another ring as all the headlines keep talking about.

[B]

Okay, I didn't know. Was this a big deal? Was he, like, not expected to ever get married or something? I don't know.

[C]

But I think it's an upset because he's the current super bowl champion, Sam Darnold. And so he got married. And it was funny. So the title Dan and a lot of the headlines and all the news outlets said, sam Darnold ties the knot with fiance Katie Hoof Nagel.

[B]

Well, that's who you're supposed to tie the knot with. If that's.

[C]

That's exactly what I said, too.

[B]

If it's your fiance. You've already sort of made like that.

[C]

That plan's already in motion. Now, had he married a total stranger, that would have, you know, that would have thrown a whole wrench in the whole thing.

[B]

Or if he was somehow subject to an arranged marriage of some kind based on an ancient contract, maybe. Yeah.

[C]

You win the super bowl and then you have to marry this woman right?

[B]

You won the Super Bowl. What are you doing? I am entering into an arranged marriage against my will.

[C]

Maybe that's why he played so poorly for the first few years of his life.

[B]

And then maybe the arrangement changed. Yeah, right. At the last second.

[C]

Well, maybe they changed it. It was Katie and he was like, oh, I can marry her. I'm going to win. I'm going to start playing football the right way.

[B]

Just because he married Katie Fluffernutter or whatever.

[C]

Huff Nagel. Huff Nagel. Hul.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So congratulations to the Darnolds on their. On their wedding.

[B]

So I'm old enough. I hear that name I only think of from St. Elsewhere. Mrs. Huff Nagel. The patient that never left and pained everybody's ass. That's the only Huff. And then she died when her. Her collapsible bed ate her up and. And suffocated her.

[C]

Make that a note of that. The second. Second reference to Mrs. Huff Nagel and the 312Sports Podcast Network.

[B]

That's true, because she was mentioned when we were doing our favorite Saints when the Bears played. The Bears played the what it was. And Saint Elsewhere was one of them. Yes.

[C]

And yeah, Mrs. Huff Nagel was mentioned then.

[B]

Indeed. There's a little more Bear stuff out there. George McCaskey was interviewed by ChicagoBears.com hard hitting journalism, getting to the bottom of everything, as [e-mail] how do you think George McCaskey felt about the Bears run to the playoffs?

[C]

Oh, I think he was ecstatic. I think he, he was until he heard Ben Johnson, you know, claim that they're one of the 31 teams that failed. So I'll say George was disappointed in the end.

[B]

Now, he said it was a great run, was a miraculous run, surreal run, but ultimately we fell short of our goal. You're right. The goal is to win the Super Bowl. So there's some more work to be done. I think we have a good core of players. They fight like hell for each other. They fight like hell for their coach. I think they're confident that he will find some way for them to win. And that's a great and elusive ingredient in our great game. He's already said that complacency is not going to be an issue. What do we have to be complacent about? We haven't achieved our goal. That's good stuff from an owner.

[C]

It is good stuff. It's good to hear that. Hear him talk about championship and falling short. Can we, can we start a whole crew of knights that. That are part of our team because we just. You got. You got Surreal Run, sir.

[B]

Surreal Run.

[C]

But we could. Yeah, we could make it. We could call him Sir Real Run.

[B]

This is the. The table's going to be too big. It's going to be too many nights.

[C]

We can't do one, though. We could. We could start with a few.

[B]

All right. You want to set up a round

[C]

table, a roundtable of nights, and we'll add Surreal Run to it.

[B]

Okay. All right. He's the first one. He's got first one responsibility. He gets KP duty for the first few meals.

[C]

He's going to clean the latrines.

[B]

No, not yet. They better. Oh, well, I don't know.

[C]

They made it. Use it in the woods. Don't necessarily need a latrine.

[B]

They don't necessarily. But if they. If it's a place where they live, I'm sure they have a place to go that isn't just like, go wander into the woods and get eaten by wolves. I mean, there's things out in the woods, you know, you don't got to wander that far.

[C]

You just step outside and go, yeah.

[B]

Next thing you know, one of your key nights gets his wang bitten off. You can't have that. That's bad for your crew. That reputation.

[C]

Wang bitten off. Was one of his friends from college,

[B]

Dr. Wang bitten off?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

All right. I don't know what's happening. This is everything you need at a Bears and NFL podcast. And I. And don't let anybody tell you differently ever.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

Okay. I've got another quote here from George McCaskey. Okay. He said the Bears don't think they're out of any game because of Ben Johnson. He's intense. McCaskey said Wigwam the teepee. He's intelligent, he's innovative, he's passionate. He's got the players believing in him and more importantly, believing in themselves. No matter what happens, this group of players figures we're not out of it. It. We're going to have to find a way to win. And we will find a way to win. I added all the emphasis there.

[C]

Yeah. No, it was good. I like. I like the way you read it.

[B]

Thank you. Thanks so much.

[C]

I think you should. You should actually verbalize all of George's thoughts.

[B]

All of George McAsky's thoughts. I get to read them in sort of like that. That William Shatner turgid, rhythmic speaking.

[C]

Yeah, I would like that. He could just whisper in your ear, and then you could just repeat everything.

[B]

And I can repeat it as A bad Shatner impersonation.

[C]

Be great.

[B]

We're not out of it. We're going to have to find a way to win. We will find a way to win.

[C]

See, I think that's good. Why was George doing this again?

[B]

Because the journalistic entity that is ChicagoBears.com staked him out, tracked him down and got him to agree.

[C]

Okay, so he's just talking just because,

[B]

I don't know, he's hanging out, wandering around. Came in the room, Larry Mayer was sitting there, they started chopping it up, as they say, and next thing, hey, can I record this? This is gold. I don't know. All right, well, good stuff.

[C]

No, I like to hear those things from George McCaskey. That's, that's good to hear. That's what you always want. Your ownership, how you want them to feel about things, winning and that kind of stuff. The Department of Justice, Dan, has begun an investigation into the NFL.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

They want to determine if the NFL has violated anti competitive practices with its television contracts that require consumers to pay subscription costs to watch some games by ABC News. Now, one government official said, this is about affordability. Excuse me, and creating an even playing field for providers.

[B]

Okay? So the question is, what is it really about? Because we know that this Justice Department only exists to create and abet and facilitate grift rather than prevent it. So who, if this Justice Department is getting involved, it means they're trying to benefit someone in power. So how would this effort benefit someone in power and help them make money? Because nothing that they're doing is clearly designed to benefit the American people. It's designed to help people scam the American people out of their money. So. Because how did. Could they bet on something via Poly Market or Cal she. That would allow them to make money?

[C]

Can I, can I give the suggestion of a new TV network? Like maybe it's, it's like something like JD tv and that's where you get all your NFL games.

[B]

So they're gonna threaten to take an antitrust exemption out of there. Threaten to. Ever since the merger, they've had that. That was the, the American needle case. I'm just trying to go back and press it. And then it would allow for the creation of some cheaply done fly by night Trump branded television.

[C]

I think all it, all it took. It took one person to make one comment about having to have multiple subscriptions to watch NFL games in the upcoming season, as we have already been been needing to do that. And then all it took was one comment to one guy and that guy said, hey, go look into this. Because it's not fair to the American doesn't mean there's.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Despite that there are other things happening. This is a priority. Should be.

[B]

Anyway, I'm just wondering what the end game is and which.

[C]

That's a good question.

[B]

Which insider is enriched by this? Because that's the only read. That's the, that's the marching orders of any of these arms of the. Of the current government or anything controlled by the. Well, anybody really. Now, I was going to say executive branch, but we don't have a legislative branch that. Who could be easily enriched. All right, I guess stay tuned because there, there will be an answer to that. That will emerge.

[C]

Yeah, it will. It'll come out sooner or later. We just don't know what that is right now.

[B]

I have a mock draft if you want it.

[C]

I do. I love mock drafts.

[B]

I know you do. Well, this is.

[C]

Where's this one from?

[B]

USA Today, Bears wire. USA Today has Preston Brocheck's seven round mock draft.

[C]

Okay, are we going to go through every team all seven rounds right now or is it just Bears?

[B]

Okay. The Bears seven round don't draft.

[C]

That's a fair question. I don't. I didn't know if you're going to go through all 240 picks or.

[B]

I'd rather not.

[C]

Okay, that's fine. Yeah.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

I'm, I'm that. Whatever. Whatever direction you want to go. You brought it up.

[B]

Okay. Round one, pick 25 bears. Zion Young. Okay, there he is again. Six six, two, six two. 33 inch arms, high motor, competitiveness, power, ability to transfer power from hips to hands, footwork, body control might climb higher, but says don't be surprised if Chicago takes a tackle. Kaden Proctor tested well. Blake Miller and Caleb Lomu could be options. I know who could be options. You're giving me your mock draft. Don't give me other options in a mock draft.

[C]

33 inches. Is that the circumference of his biceps or is that the length of his arm?

[B]

That's the, that's the arm length. As if he's getting a shirt fitted.

[C]

33 would be big, wouldn't it? For biceps?

[B]

Yes. Extremely. Round two, pick 57, Arizona safety. Trade on stukes.

[C]

Stukes, yes.

[B]

Stooks four, three, three. 40. He's six, four three. Whoa, whoa. He's six foot six. Oh, I think you said he was four three, a six, six safety.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

His hands must be awful. If you are a 6 foot 6 defensive back, you probably have like like canoe paddles for hands.

[C]

Why are you saying he would be a receiver?

[B]

Obviously, if you run a 433 and you're 66 and you can't play offense. Does he literally have hands?

[C]

Trade on stukes, right? Yeah.

[B]

The only problem is he's going to turn 25 in September and he tore his ACL in 2024.

[C]

This has him at six foot. Where are you seeing six, six it.

[B]

USA Today, bears wire.

[C]

I wonder if he knows that.

[B]

Okay. Is it. Is it? It can't be. He can't be. There's no six six safeties. That's. That's gotta be was though. That's got to be wrong, right?

[C]

That's.

[B]

It has to be wrong.

[C]

Yeah. Dude, he. This is. He's. He's 6 1. This is 611 90.

[B]

Okay, good round. He's actually.

[C]

No, I'm saying he's 7 3.

[B]

It's Ade Mara. Round two, pick 60, Kansas State Center Sam Hecht.

[C]

A center?

[B]

Yes. He's being graded as the best center in this draft.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yep.

[C]

You know, it doesn't solve my left tackle issue, but I'm not opposed to this. I'll be honest with you, for a year.

[B]

Gets his hands inside, makes up for the times. His mass and length let him down. But adding mass is something can be addressed. He is sticky to blocks. He pass, protects with a wide base.

[C]

Yeah, see, I like picking offensive lineman Dan.

[B]

I do too. Round three, pick 89.

[C]

89. This is the bear.

[B]

Still demonte cape heart.

[C]

It's a new one.

[B]

Defensive tackle out of Clemson. Demonte Cape Hart.

[C]

I like his name though.

[B]

Available late third, might be considered a reach, but so much upside 6, 5, 3, 13. He had a 30. Okay, this has to be wrong.

[C]

A 33 foot. What? It did broad jump. Yes, he jumped 33ft.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Shit.

[B]

I am questioning this article and how it was edited. It says he had a 33 foot 5 inch jump.

[C]

That's not accurate. I'm sorry.

[B]

Unless he's a velociraptor.

[C]

He did not jump 33ft. If so though, can you imagine him in the backfield like on the 25 yard line? How much distance he would get?

[B]

Yeah, or just like blocking kicks and stuff.

[C]

Automatic first down. You do that a few times, you're in the end zone.

[B]

It says he has impressive power. Light in his feet, girth, good strike, eats blocks with good footwork and contact, contact balance. Round four, pick 129, Washington Corner.

[C]

Is it in crayon? What are you reading this from? It's like the back of a restaurant. Men.

[B]

USA Today Bears wire.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I found it on the floor.

[C]

It was in the kitchen there at the studio.

[B]

It was lying in the kitchen with

[C]

all somebody like bring your kid to work day and someone's just doodling on the back of a restaurant menu.

[B]

I'm still going. Round four, pick 129, Takario Davis, cornerback of Washington.

[C]

All right. Okay.

[B]

Ran a four four displays the speed they're looking for. He interviewed with the bears during the combine. He has arms that are 33 and 3/8 inch, but I can't trust any of these measurements. He can have arms that are four inches. I don't know. Right here. 33 foot arms. He struggles on multi break routes but he's impossible to throw over. Has a good sense of when to jump.

[C]

He's 33ft tall.

[B]

He's 33ft tall. And number two seven round picks. Pick 239, Enrique Cruz Jr. Offensive tackle from Kansas.

[C]

All right, so second offensive lineman.

[B]

I like that he went to Willowbrook High school here.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Big burly prospect with good length, good slide quickness but gets beaten with inside moves. He delivers heavy hands and grip to rush control. And the Last one is seventh rounder 241 overall wide receiver Xavion Thomas from LSU ran a four two eight. If he ran a four two eight and he is lasting until round seven, something's wrong. Either he's he is four feet tall or he doesn't know where and how to line up or he simply cannot catch.

[C]

All right, well, we're digging deep on this one. I like.

[B]

Yeah, we are. Xavion Thomas, LSU 40 yard dash of 428 and somehow it's like the draft of freaks. One of us. One of us.

[C]

It's like, well, what happens to these prospects if they don't make the draft? Well, they go right to the circus. Yeah, we go.

[B]

We got a big old tent out here. You can come see him. The Chicago Bears select the bearded lady

[C]

exactly where I was going.

[B]

Of course, you were the guy biting the heads off chickens. Wow. This has been a very educational and

[C]

that was a good one. I'm glad you brought this to the table.

[B]

I've learned a lot. I have built a lot about football, about the future of the Bears.

[C]

I wonder if trade on stooks knows that he grew five inches that he's

[B]

a six six safety as all the

[C]

coaches six six now grew it up

[B]

pretty badly then

[C]

Matt Miller, he ranked every every prospect. So I want to get his his order so this is, you know, I'm gonna give you the top five only. I think we've done enough.

[B]

Well, he said Jeremiah Love was his number one. Right.

[C]

And Jeremiah Love is still his number one overall. Good.

[B]

Otherwise we were going to have some speaks if he was off of that already.

[C]

So the 6 foot, 212 pounder got a grade of 98. His comp is Reggie Bush. Bush. Okay. Number two overall prospect for Matt Miller. Fernando Mendoza, quarterback, Indiana, 652-36- a grade of 95. His comp. Any guesses?

[B]

Jared Goff, Joe Burrow. Oh, come on. He's not that good. I don't think he's that good. I, I, okay, all right, we'll see. He knows more than I do.

[C]

Number three overall, Caleb Downs. Safety, Ohio State. Six foot, 206, grade of 95.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If you notice that the, the, the beast is out, Dane Brugler. And it's, it's basically all Ohio State players.

[C]

Yeah. I think his overall number one is Arvel Reese. That's.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Yeah, I think that's what he has. Yeah. This con for Caleb Downs is Buddha Baker.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Arvel Reese is number four linebacker at Ohio State for Matt Miller. 64241, a grade of 94. His comp, Abdul Carter of the New York Giants. Correct.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Where he's at? Yeah, with Johnny Harbaugh. And his fifth is Sonny Styles, the linebacker from Ohio State. Six four, 244, grade of 94. His cop is Fred Warner.

[B]

Good comp.

[C]

Be good even get some.

[B]

That's a good comp.

[C]

You want to hear the other. Want to hear the top 10 or do you want to go?

[B]

Sure, go ahead.

[C]

Okay. Number six is David Bailey. The edge of Texas Tech. Right. Grade of 93. Nick. Nick Bonito. Oh, the offensive tackle, Miami Francis. How do you say his Last name? M A U I Goa.

[B]

Mayagua.

[C]

Mayagua. So he is the number seven prospect according to Matt Miller. Six six, 329. A grade of 92. His comp is Bears right tackle Darnell Wright. Number eight, Makai Lemon, the wide receiver from USC. His cop is Aman ra St. Brown. That's a great comp. You can get it. Number nine, Carnell Tate. Ohio State wide receiver Cooper cup is a comp. And then number 10, his 10th overall prospect in this draft, cornerback from Tennessee, Jermad McCoy. Oh, and his comp is Christian Gonzalez.

[B]

That dude. That's pretty good.

[C]

That's real good.

[B]

Jesus. Yeah, this is a hell of a draft if all these comps are correct. Yes, this is a great Draft sure is.

[C]

So that's the top 10. But you can go to ESPN and look at Matt's work as he ranks all the, the top prospects deep. Does he go.

[B]

Okay, now the question I have. Are you going to watch any United Football League this weekend?

[C]

Well, you know, I watch all the Battle Hawks games.

[B]

Okay, so. All right then, then yes, then you will be.

[C]

No, it depends. I got to look at the TV schedule because I have baseball games starting tonight.

[B]

Oh, if you have tournaments, forget.

[C]

Yeah, so we're in Franklin, Wisconsin tonight for a game. Tomorrow morning I'm in New Lenox at 8:00am and 10:00am Libertyville to New Lenox.

[B]

That.

[C]

Yes. 8:00am game.

[B]

Dude, like I said, stay over so.

[C]

Well, you know, it was nice though. So we like the kids have an hour pre game arrival as prescribed by the coaches.

[B]

An hour? An hour for an hour.

[C]

But here's the good. But here's the good thing though, Dan. Here's the good thing for the 40,

[B]

always 40 minutes for the ADM games.

[C]

We don't have to be there until 50 minutes before first pitch. So it's, it's. We're good. I mean they got that extra 10 minutes.

[B]

Well, that's, that's how. It's because of those, because of hockey and those baseball tournaments that Jason started drinking coffee way too young. He'd roll in and he'd have his McCafe latte and his McGriddle and he looked like Mark Grace, except not hungover.

[C]

Well, he had a heater sticking out.

[B]

Honestly, like I told him that I said I didn't think that my kid at 9 years old was gonna look like Mark Grace.

[C]

And then we're within. And then tomorrow night, Arlington Heights for two games. So I go down to New lenox and then five, like five, 10, first pitch in Arlington Heights. I'm gonna scroud some. I'm gonna scout some property out there

[B]

and scrout, scratch and broats.

[C]

Yeah, I'm gonna scout some property for George McCaskey.

[B]

Yeah, just see.

[C]

But I got an idea out there, but maybe a bear stadium.

[B]

Do you bring a book with you? Do you bring crossword puzzles?

[C]

I watch the baseball game.

[B]

Oh, I do too. Don't get me wrong. But most of these days is not the baseball game. Most of these days is, is killing time or you're sitting in a red robin and everyone's screaming and no, we're

[C]

lucky for this tournament here, at least for this first weekend. They're back to back games for both boys. So Jackson's first in New Lennox. 8 and 10, and then Hank is 5, 10, and 7.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So, yeah, I got no time in between just to hang out now. They are playing at all these turf fields now, and I can't bring seeds anymore. That's not allowed to bring seeds into the field.

[B]

That's true. It looks like big league chew for you.

[C]

Well, no gum either.

[B]

Well, then that's out. You're gonna. You know, I think you might bring tobacco.

[C]

No, I mean, I, I, I'm gonna try cigarettes this weekend and see how cigarettes work.

[B]

Yeah, that's a, That's a better call if there's no seeds allowed and no bubble gum. I think you should try just. Yeah, get a, Get a, Get a carton of, of generic cigarettes and, like, walk around. I'm gonna try to cradle it under your arm.

[C]

I'm gonna try to kick my seed habit by smoking c. That.

[B]

It'll work. It might also, you know, you might lose some weight that way too, if you want. It's perfect.

[C]

I'm sorry, what do you.

[B]

What does that. I'm not, I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying you can.

[C]

Oh, but why would you say that I would need to?

[B]

Speaking of which, did you see the emailer that suggested that you and Natalie have your Halloween costume now as Mike. Mike Vrabel and Diana Rossini?

[C]

Yes. That was funny.

[B]

Yeah. She could get, like, a. You know, a notebook that says the Athletic on it. You know, that, that I need to

[C]

shave, though, because he doesn't have a beard. I don't want to shave.

[B]

He does sometimes, though.

[C]

I know. I would. Well, he grows it overnight. I would do it for a Halloween costume. Yeah, that was funny. I read yesterday too. I don't know if you saw this and maybe correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought my eyes read it.

[B]

That's a good thing. If, if you're. If a different part of you read it, then we got a story.

[C]

Well, like earlier when I said I used to walk on my hands when my feet hurt, I would sometimes read with my fingers.

[B]

I guess you could have read in braille, technically. Sure.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

See? Right.

[C]

Thank you for picking that up. She started covering the Tennessee Titans in 2018. Okay, so who was the head coach?

[B]

Yeah, he was the head coach. Okay.

[C]

That's what I thought.

[B]

I don't know if that means it's more likely that they could have a friendly, platonic, close relationship or it's more likely that there's.

[C]

Anywho.

[B]

All right, we're good.

[C]

I don't know. Do you want to get in any football stuff now or.

[B]

No.

[C]

Or do you want to.

[B]

I thought we did. Oh, yeah. We had. We had the guy that jumped 33ft. That's all you need. I can bring me. I'm gonna win a damn Super Bowl.

[C]

And the Bears are gonna draft the six six safety, so.

[B]

Yeah. The first six, six safety we've ever seen. Like, don't you edit that and say, like, maybe not. Maybe that's a mistake.

[C]

I think it was like a. It was like a parody.

[B]

A parody of a mock draft or truly a mocking draft. Yes. I don't know. Well, I enjoyed it, I can tell you that.

[C]

Yeah, I did, too. Thanks for sharing that. Of course you learned a lot.

[B]

Of course. Yes. And made friends along the way.

[C]

Yes. I don't know what happened.

[B]

That's it for forward progress. Yeah. That is progress.

[C]

We've definitely taken some steps.

[B]

Are you kidding? We. No, no. We've generated nothing. We. Not behind the chains. We're moving the chains.

[C]

We did not advance the ball at all.

[B]

We've advanced. This is the. This is the farthest down the field. We've advanced and that is where from where we'll make the next snap. I claim that to be true with our mascot, Shock, who is a monkey. On 312 sports for progress is stopped.

[C]

Forward progress, a Chicago Bears podcast with Dan Bernstein and Matt Abeticola on 312 Sports.