Podcast Summary: Founder's Story Ep 282 - “Why You Drink Without Realizing It: A Psychologist Explains the One Habit That Runs Your Life” with Laura Elorza

Host: IBH Media
Guest: Laura Elorza, Psychologist & Co-founder of Unconscious Moderation
Date: November 18, 2025

Main Theme

This episode explores why many people drink alcohol (and form habits in general) without realizing it—delving into the unconscious patterns that often drive our behaviors. Psychologist Laura Elorza discusses habit formation, the limitations of willpower, the profound role of the unconscious mind, and practical strategies for meaningful change. She also introduces the Unconscious Moderation app, which aims to help users build healthier relationships with alcohol and their habits more broadly.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Generation Z and Changing Attitudes Toward Drinking

• Gen Z is Drinking Less: Gen Z is moving away from alcohol, showing greater awareness of its effects and the desire to stay aligned with their personal values.
  • (00:51, Laura Elorza): "Statistics show Gen Z are drinking way less than other generations... Being conscious of the effects alcohol has on your body, how you feel afterwards, and how you might act disaligned with your principles."
• Spread of Self-Awareness: Other generations are catching up, becoming more introspective about their habits and life decisions.

2. Why Habits—Including Drinking—Are So Difficult to Break

• Role of the Unconscious:
  • Most Behavior is Unconscious: 95% of our behavior is unconscious, including drinking patterns.
    • (02:31, Laura): "It's only 5% of it that's really conscious. So, understanding your patterns is the main thing."
• First Steps to Breaking Habits:
  • Self-awareness: Recognize the habit—don’t write it off as a one-off occurrence.
  • Micro Wins: Start replacing negative habits with small, achievable positive ones, e.g., drinking water in the morning.
  • Progress Checks: It’s unrealistic to expect immediate success or to follow the “21 days to break a habit” rule.
    • (02:31, Laura): "It takes a while, it takes conscious action and it takes you understanding yourself."

3. Hypnotherapy, Journaling, and Movement as Habit-Change Tools

• Dispelling Hypnotherapy Myths:
  • It's not about losing control; rather, it’s an intentional, relaxed state for integrating helpful suggestions and self-reflection.
    • (05:16, Laura): "It's not that you lose control... it's about being in a relaxed state where your nervous system shifts and your brain receives suggestions."
• Journaling Bridges the Unconscious and Conscious:
  • Journaling slows your thoughts, lets you process symbols—helping the rational mind engage with the non-rational unconscious.
    • (05:16, Laura): "The unconscious mind is not rational... Journaling is one way to bridge the unconscious with the conscious mind."
• Movement’s Role:
  • "Move a muscle, change a thought." Physical activity produces positive neurochemicals, shifting mood and perspective.

4. The 90-Day Habit Change Journey: What Really Works

• Not About Willpower Alone:
  • Willpower-based methods are rarely enough. The Unconscious Moderation approach is more about rewiring at a deeper level.
• Three Stages of the Program:
  • Day 1–30: Clarity. Create space, pause potential triggers, observe impulses.
  • Day 31–60: Conscious Choice. Moderation becomes possible, replace numbing with healthier coping, understand motivations.
  • Day 61–90: Reinforcement. Continue asking "why" before drinking (or acting habitually), solidify new patterns.
    • (08:08, Laura): "The 90-day program is more about understanding, finding clarity, and creating space between your impulses and choices."

5. Understanding Shame vs. Guilt in Habit Formation

• Key Distinction:
  • Guilt: Behavior-based ("I made a mistake.")
  • Shame: Identity-based ("I am the mistake.")
    • (11:05, Laura): "Guilt is when your behavior doesn't align with your values... Shame is very internal; you identify with it."
  • Recognizing this difference can change how people approach recovery from unwanted habits.

6. The Role of Trauma and Early Experiences

• Trauma Shapes Unconscious Habits:
  • Trauma isn’t always dramatic—it can be any moment where we unconsciously assign meaning to events.
    • (12:44, Laura): "It’s how you understood the situation you went through... everyone has traumas."
  • Patterns like drinking to dampen anxiety often get encoded in response to early experiences—the goal is to bring them into self-awareness to make better choices.

7. Upcoming Developments: The Unconscious Moderation App

• Features:
  • 90-day guided journey with achievements and a drink tracker.
  • Launch coincides with "Dry January".
  • Partnership with Masterclass for skill-building and learning to replace "doom-scrolling."
    • (14:58, Laura): "We are building a wonderful app... a 90-day journey where you get achievements... And we’re partnering with Masterclass."
• Broader Applications:
  • Tools in the app work for habits beyond drinking (e.g., anxiety, productivity).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Unconscious Patterns:
  • "95% of our behavior, including drinking patterns, originates beneath the surface."
    (02:31, Laura Elorza)
• On "21 Days to Change a Habit":
  • "That's really not true. It takes a while, it takes conscious action and it takes you understanding yourself."
    (02:31, Laura)
• On Guilt vs. Shame:
  • "Guilt is behavior-based—'I made a mistake'; shame is identity—'I am the mistake.'"
    (11:05, Laura)
• On Trauma:
  • "It's how you understood the situation that you went through. Everyone has traumas... You put meaning to that event and that meaning could be unconscious."
    (12:44, Laura)
• Motivating Insight:
  • "We've never been in a place in our lives as humans where we so consciously want to be better."
    (18:53, Host)

Important Timestamps

• 00:51: Laura discusses Gen Z’s shift away from drinking and the rise of self-awareness.
• 02:31: The 95% rule: most behavior is unconscious. Steps to break habits.
• 05:16: The power of hypnotherapy, journaling, and movement in habit change.
• 08:08: How the 90-day program works, why consistency beats perfection.
• 11:05: Difference between shame and guilt, and their impact on habits.
• 12:44: The role of trauma and meaning-making in unconscious behaviors.
• 14:58: Sneak peek at the Unconscious Moderation app and its features.
• 17:48: Where to find the app and Laura's online content.

How to Connect & Additional Resources

• Unconscious Moderation App: Available for download; users can access special content and track their journey.
• Social Media: Instagram, TikTok, YouTube for psychology content and habit-change insights.
• Promo Code: Use "Laura20" for a discounted first month.
  • (17:48, Laura): "One cocktail is more expensive than the app... It's an investment in yourself."

Overall Tone

Conversational, encouraging, insightful, and science-backed—Laura communicates empathy and deep understanding, while the host remains genuinely curious and relatable throughout the discussion. The episode balances psychology with practical tips for anyone ready to change their habits.

Perfect for:

• Anyone curious why they fall into unwanted habits (especially drinking)
• Listeners looking for effective, science-backed tools for change
• People seeking gentle but powerful insights on self-awareness, trauma, and transformation
• Those interested in tech meets psychology—how digital tools can support personal growth