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Why You Drink Without Realizing It: A Psychologist Explains the One Habit That Runs Your Life | Ep 282 with Laura Elorza
00:19:56
In this episode of Founder’s Story, Daniel sits down with clinical psychologist Laura Elorza, whose work at Unconscious Moderation (UM) is reshaping how we understand drinking, habit formation, and the power of the unconscious mind. Laura reveals why ninety-five percent of our behaviors happen beneath the surface, why willpower fails, and how UM blends hypnotherapy, journaling, and movement to rewire long-standing patterns. She also shares how shame, trauma, and autopilot living keep people stuck—and how UM’s 90-day journey is helping thousands regain control, make conscious choices, and rewrite their internal story.
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Transcript18 lines
- [00:00]
A
Foreign. So Lauda. There's a fascinating thing that's happening right now that I hear that Gen Z as a generation are actually drinking less. And I'm seeing this big push for alcohol free products which I find fascinating. And I'm, I'm curious, you know, we can dive into this later around like what's the future? Will alcohol be, will people drink less alcohol? Or is this just a movement right now? But I know what, what is going on at the unconscious moderation, what you're all trying to do, your mission. But what do you think that changed when, when you all realize that someone's drinking problem, it's not about the alcohol at all, it's about what you all call the unconscious mind.
- [00:52]
B
Okay, so I do believe that like what you're saying, the statistics show Gen Z are drinking way less than other generations. And I think we can attribute it to being conscious of the effects that alcohol has in your body, how you feel afterwards. And sometimes when you drink a little too much, you start acting disaligned too to what you believe in and your principles and your main goals in life. So I think it's attributed to that. And I do believe that we are getting into a point that it's so important to know about ourselves. And I do believe that all the other generations are catching up to understand more about your unconscious patterns on why you do the things you're doing. Because maybe those habits don't don't serve you anymore or they used to, they don't anymore or they've never served you and they didn't align with your personal preferences. So that's why we think alcohol and alcohol moderation, it's a big thing coming up for a lot of people.
- [02:02]
A
So when you, when you talk about breaking habits, what do you find is something that people can do? Maybe one, two, three things if somebody wants to start breaking habits just in general, because I imagine alcohol consumption can easily become a habit because of how it might make you perceive that you're feeling better. Right. I know there's, you know, a lot of reasons why we all would want to feel better in life. But what is, what are things that people can do to break habits?
- [02:31]
B
So for example, we do believe the first thing is awareness, knowing about that habit that is not serving you anymore. Sometimes we try to mask it or try and say like oh, this is a one time thing, but it's, it keeps on happening. So awareness is the main thing. Awareness that you have unconscious patterns that most like 95% of our behavior, including our drinking Patterns usually originates beneath, beneath the surface. So it's only 5% of it. It's like really conscious. So understanding your patterns, it's the main thing. I also believe to change habits, you gotta install habits that are aligned with you in small increments. So little by little start adding habits that align with the version of you that you want to build. Like for example, oh, like I would want to drink more water. So I will pour myself a glass of water before I go to bed and have it on my nightstand just when I wake up. That's how I kick start my day. Just one glass of water right there. So little by little, like those micro winds give you that rush and that oh, like I can't do it. So that's a big thing. And another thing is also checking in with you because sometimes we are very tough and we want to start a habit right away and be awesome the next day and just have it installed. Or maybe we have bit into the idea that a habit can change in 21 days. That's really not true. It takes a while, it takes conscious action and it takes you understanding yourself. So the main things would be those awareness, micro wins and checking in with yourself.
- [04:31]
A
Thank you for saying that. I was thinking about that as you're talking like the whole 21 days thing and that's never worked for me in my life. So I thought maybe I was just different. But I can. I like the idea of taking different habits in replace of habits versus like, I'm only going to stop this instead. Like, okay, instead of doing this, I'm going to do this other thing that's positive in my life. Something that I personally been a huge fan of is, is hypnotherapy. I've been doing it since I was around maybe 15 years old and hypnosis has really changed my life. And I know hypnosis, journaling and movement are part of the tools in the app. What happens to someone when they do these three things together.
- [05:17]
B
So for us the main thing, like for example, hypnotherapy, a lot of people and you've experienced it, but a lot of people think it's those magic tricks that you see, but it's not. And it's not that you lose control of yourself and that someone else is taking the controller of your life. It's more about being in a relaxed state, state that you can like your nervous sh. System shifts and your brain receives suggestions, suggestions into asking yourself deeper questions and learning more about yourself. And also what we see a lot about the Internal dialogue. You can start during the hypnotherapy, finding that internal dialogue that helps you. Those I am statements, I am strong, I am powerful. I can do whatever I set my mind to. Those can be done during hypnotherapy and it becomes your internal day to day dialogue. Also. Journaling, it's so beautiful because it's not, it speaks directly to the unconscious language because the unconscious mind is not rational, it's not like logical. It happens through symbols. And journaling is one of the ways that we can create that bridge between the unconscious mind and our conscious mind. So we understand the symbols through journaling. And your hand doesn't go as fast as your brain, so you got to slow down, write it down, and understand that deeper meaning of those sentences that you're writing. And the last thing that we do believe in a lot in unconscious moderation is movement. Uh, we believe the, the phrase that move a muscle, change of thought. Because it is a kit like a chemical reset to your brain. Your brain is being hit by all of this feel good neurotransmitters. So when you actually move, you are changing the brain chemistry and it helps you understand your life through a different perception.
- [07:23]
A
Wow, I never knew that about journaling. Like I, I never. It makes total sense. My brain is moving 5 million miles a second. I'm writing like 1/10 of a mile every five hours. So I could see it's probably good just to even get into the habit of slowing down in life, right? Because I'm always trying to think of, you know, five hours from now versus like the next three minutes. You've. So I know that this app has helped people break decades long habits in 90 days, which is amazing, right? You mentioned it earlier. But what actually happens to someone day one to day 30 and then day 30 to day 90?
- [08:08]
B
So it would be like. We do believe that consistency is key rather than like extreme perfection. And that's why I said like 21 days. It's not like the time frame, it's the day to day. It's being present and being in the moment. And what I said, those three main activities help you be here in the moment. So the 90 day program is more of understanding, finding the clarity. That's the first month. So it's more of like, okay, this month, don't drink. Just create space between, between the impulses and your choices. And that way you can understand better why are you reaching for that drink rather than doing it unconsciously. Then month two would be the conscious choice of like, okay, moderation becomes an option here and I understand why I reach for that glass. And maybe sometimes it could be because I'm numbing something and I don't want to feel the emotions, or maybe it's because I enjoy glass. And Right. So those are two different paths. One of them, when it's like for numbing, maybe let's find a different habit that can help you understand that feeling instead of numbing. But if you're enjoying it and if you enjoy that glass and you feel that you can do one last, that's great. Like understand your internal psychological wiring. And then the third month would be the reinforcements. So this new patterns of asking yourself the question, why am I drinking? Do I want to drink? Do I feel pressured to, or do I feel that I don't need it right now, but I can hang out in this situation. So it's more like that transformation of patterns for a conscious effort. And we do believe that a lot of other approaches are based mostly on willpower and willpower alone. It doesn't work right. It's tough. And that's why after 21 days and you haven't seen a change, you're like, am I wrong? Am I doing something wrong? We don't just tackle the system that it's very conscious mind, we tackle the unconscious mind so you can rewire internally so you can see from a different perspective.
- [10:30]
A
Perspective, yeah. Thank you so much for, for sharing those steps along the way. I'm really excited personally to change some habits. I'm not even, I, I don't really drink too much, but I'm thinking like I could use this app to change other habits that are un, even unrelated to drinking. Because these tools can be used across so many things. When you, when you look at shame and guilt, because I almost, when I think of it, I'm like, well, isn't kind of, isn't that kind of one in the same or do they go together and how that even relates to drinking? Can you walk me through that?
- [11:06]
B
Of course. That's like one of my, our main topics. And the thing is, yeah, it's used as an interchangeable thing. Shame and guilt. And they're very different and our brain experience it so different. So for example, guilt is something that happens when you, your behavior doesn't align with your values and your principles. So it's behavior based. While shame, it's very internal, you identify with it. So for example, guilt would be I made a mistake, while shame is I am the mistake. And that's a big eye opening insight for a Lot of people it's like, oh, I've been wired. And I think that I am the mistake. And maybe what I'm seeking for when I feel that shame is just connection. That's. That's how I get out of that shame spiral. While with guilt, it's okay. How can I act differently? So that's a main thing that we talk about because sometimes it's used interchangeably and it's not.
- [12:14]
A
How much of this do you think is tied into the traumas that we carry? Seem trauma seems to be like the word that people talk a lot about now, which I think. I don't know if that's good that we're recognizing that we go through things like you said in the beginning around we are consciously thinking now more about stuff. But how much do you think that our previous experiences or traumatic experiences or trauma play into maybe unconsciously how we react or do things now?
- [12:44]
B
A lot. A lot. Because we are actually. We have different stages in life where we are very prone to like understand or signify things. And one of them could be like a traumatic event. And when I'm saying trauma, it's not like something very drastic. It's some. It's how you understood the situation that you went through. So everyone has trauma traumas, right? And understanding that you put that event and that you live through that event and then at that you put a meaning to that event. It's. It's big. And that meaning could be unconscious. You could do this wiring completely unconscious. So it's like, oh, I don't know. I had a situation at a party, I was very anxious and I drank to feel comfortable. And you associated like anxiety. Bad drinking can help me like get out of my anxiety. And you associated that. And you kept on drinking every single party because that's how it bonded in your, in your brain. And look, it's not something like super scary. It's oh, I had an uncomfortable situation, I gave meaning to that situation. And now that's an unconscious pattern engraved in my head. So what we try to do is understand like those traumas and resignify those traumas so we can make a conscious choice when we're faced to situations that trigger us. And that's what we try to do at unconscious moderation.
- [14:21]
A
I guess we are the old phrase creatures of habit and many times is negative habits, not of positive habits. Until we wake up and realize that we can make the change within ourselves. I get stuck in the same, like you said, if I get anxious somewhere, I'll just do something and Then I'll continue doing it. And I don't even recognize that I'm even doing it or that's. That's how I kind of replace the feeling of anxiety. I know unconscious moderation is going through a lot of changes. You have some exciting things coming out. Can you walk me through what's going to be happening in January and beyond?
- [14:59]
B
Yes, of course. We're really excited because we are building a wonderful app that guides you through the 90 days. It's a 90 day journey where you get achievements and different moments. We also have a drink tracker and everything will be launched by Dry January. We know that sometimes the holidays can be tough and you're surrounded by, with a lot of drinking and party and everything. So we really want to make Dry January our month where we start rewiring. And of course like New Year, new me. That phrase that a lot of people say maybe this could be a help, like a big help to make the changes that you want. We are also having a partnership with Masterclass, which is awesome. So if you get the app, you also can get Masterclass and you can hear this wonderful people like top at their craft, people speaking to you and you can learn so much more and well, we can also like kind of just try and replace doom scrolling and like that. Oh, like let's go through social media and when I'm anxious with learning and with learning about ourselves. So that's what we're trying to make with this app.
- [16:27]
A
I wonder how many people start in January and I wonder what the statistic is of, like how many continue their New Year's resolutions and things. You know, like I wonder, I have to look this up to see like what is a statistic and versus ones that, you know, like they stop 90 days in or 70 days in. But I hope they continue because I, I really like what you're doing. I mean the fact that, that it's linking up with Masterclass, which by the way, I use Masterclass to create the world's greatest eggs. I learned how to make eggs. And then no, it's, oh, I forgot his name, but he has, his restaurant is French Laundry. And he, it's like one of the greatest restaurants, highest rated restaurants in the US And I got to meet him not too long ago and I told him, hey, I watched your Masterclass and I learned how to make eggs. And he thought that was pretty funny. But I love Masterclass. Like talk about wanting to change habits and wanting to learn something new and skills. So the fact that you're not just like an app that you're. It's an app that's also combined with making people's lives better. I find we need more of those. So Lauda, if people want to get in touch with you, they want to find out more about the app. I know you do. You know, you're a spokesperson, you talk a lot about the app. So maybe they want to watch more of the content that you create. How can they do so.
- [17:49]
B
So you can definitely look unconscious moderation app, which is, um, app. You can download it, of course, and then you can also watch our content and Instagram TikTok. We also have like large content videos from psychology and our YouTube channel. So you can check those out and we're always open to like answer any questions and we do have a way that can. People can just start the journey. We have a promo code for people to download the app, which is called Laura, um, 20. And that way people can get the discount for the first month and start the journey. And I mean, one. One cocktail, it's a little. It's more expensive than the app. So that's. I'm just gonna leave it right there for, for everyone to listen to because I think it's a great. It's an investment on yourself and on the people that want to change their habits.
- [18:54]
A
Well, I think we've never been in a place in our lives as humans where we really want to better ourselves. Like, we want to be healthier, we want to live longer, we want to be healthier. When we live longer. I think we're at a really, you know, biohacking. Like all this stuff I find to be very amazing that we really want to be better and, and if Gen Z and Gen Alpha, they consciously want to be better, I think that's fantastic. So unconscious moderation. Laura Elorza, thank you for joining us and feeling. I learned so much today. I learned so much that I'm going to take to all aspects of life and I'm just really fascinated by what you all are doing with the app and I can't wait. Come back in six months to a year, share what's happening then because I imagine this launch is going to be massive and millions of people around the world are going to be impacted positively. So thank you for all that you do and thanks for joining us today on Founders Story.
- [19:48]
B
Thank you so much for having me. It was great speaking to you.