Fresh Air (NPR): "A Daughter's Rebellion Against a Regime and Her Father"

Air Date: February 17, 2026
Host: Terry Gross
Guest Interviewer: Arthi Shahani
Guest: Lubna Marai, Syrian photojournalist & author of "Defiance: A Memoir of Awakening, Rebellion, and Survival in Syria"

Episode Overview

This episode features an intense, deeply personal conversation with Syrian photojournalist Lubna Marai about her journey from a privileged but abusive and politically complex family in Syria to her role as a chronicler of violence during the Syrian uprising—an act that set her on a collision course with both her nation’s authoritarian regime and her own father. Through stories from her memoir "Defiance," Marai and interviewer Arthi Shahani delve into family dynamics, cycles of abuse, the cost of speaking out, and the power and limitations of bearing witness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family History: Love, Power, and Abuse

(02:31 – 09:37)

• Both parents are Alawite, the minority group which ruled Syria.
• Mother came from an educated, cosmopolitan family; father from an uneducated background involved with the regime.
• The marriage met family opposition due to class and reputation.
  • Lubna: “My father comes from a family that did not have the privilege to go to school... they were involved in some dirty business for the Syrian government.” (03:37)
• Father’s abuse contrasted with his charisma; mother’s choice to keep him close shown as both loving and tragic.
• Writing memoir forced her to paint her father in full nuance, not just as a villain:
  • Lubna: “Pain and anger tempt us to see things in absolutes, to flatten people into heroes and villains. And when you do that, you risk leaving parts of the truth out...” (05:00)

2. Patriarchal Norms and ‘Power’ in Childhood

(06:07 – 12:20)

• Father’s infidelities were normalized; status, not fidelity, was what mattered in men:
  • Lubna: “Nothing disgraces a man except his pocket. So as long as the guy was taking care of his family financially, he can do whatever he wants.” (06:36)
• Mother raised Lubna and her sister to believe education was the path to power, not family name or wealth.
• The move from Damascus to Jable, and the complex social dynamics of being wealthy and ‘connected’.

3. Struggle for Identity and Approval

(12:20 – 15:06)

• Lubna’s academic struggles became a family flashpoint. Her mother saw education as proof she could be “enough” as a single parent; her father's money as an escape.
  • Lubna: “...my father... told me... school is for poor people who will need to apply for jobs after college. But I wouldn’t need that because I have his money, his inheritance.” (13:15)

4. Confronting Abuse and Betrayal

(15:06 – 20:07)

• Lubna recounts a traumatic incident in her father’s house: discovering her father raping his mistress’s 12-year-old daughter, with the complicity of the mother.
  • Her father tries to buy her silence with money.
  • Lubna: “He wanted to remind me that I can judge him as much as I want but he has the power. And I took the money from him and I kissed his hand and I thanked him.” (18:02)
• Connects this experience to patterns of abuse worldwide (including Epstein case), and how women are often co-opted into perpetuating abuse.

5. The Political Awakening

(22:42 – 29:26)

• Lubna attends her first protest ‘by accident’ after seeing it on Facebook, initially thinking little of the risk.
  • Lubna: “I remember when I was getting dressed, I was thinking... should we go for hookah after or should we go for lunch after?” (23:30)
• The demonstration turns violent; she witnesses shootings and immediate state violence.
  • Lubna: “I couldn’t say the words (against Assad)... His love was so ingrained in me, I couldn’t say the words... And that day, eight people got killed. And I knew my life was not going to be the same after that day because I knew everything I was told growing up was a lie.” (25:37, 27:45)
• The revelation: the regime’s propaganda and myths clashed with the lethal truth of protest, fundamentally changing her worldview.

6. Family Consequences and Mother’s Disappearance

(30:57 – 36:13)

• Lubna’s public involvement in protests and posting a viral video leads to reprisals: her mother, still reliant on the father's protection, is detained and disappears.
  • Lubna (reading from her memoir): “My mother's cell phone number appears on the screen... Mama, can you hear me? I ask. Her voice comes through, trembling... And that was the last time I hear from her.” (33:41 – 36:13)
• Immense guilt over her mother’s fate haunts Lubna; her activism becomes both an honor to her mother and a source of lifelong psychological pain.

7. On Truth, Journalism, and the Limits of Hope

(37:31 – 40:08)

• Shahani asks if Lubna, after all she’s witnessed, still believes in the power of journalism:
  • Lubna: “I think our oppressors wait for us to give up. And one of the ways to give up and let our oppressors win is by just stop speaking up and not push against the narrative... It was a responsibility to write what happened, and we need documentation, even if we are not seeing the results now.” (38:25)
  • “The Arab Spring taught us to dream, but now this moment taught us to think.” (40:00)
• The effort to document truth, she says, is essential for future generations—even when it doesn’t bring immediate justice.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On writing about pain (05:00):
  "Pain and anger tempt us to see things in absolutes, to flatten people into heroes and villains. And when you do that, you risk leaving parts of the truth out, and this is not fair for them, and it's not fair for the reader."
• On patriarchal impunity (06:36):
  "...as the saying was, nothing disgraces a man except his pocket."
• On mother’s hope for her children (11:44): “She always told us that your power comes from your education. And having a future for yourself, it will never come just from your last name or from your dad’s money.”
• On ultimate betrayal (18:02):
  "He wanted to remind me that I can judge him as much as I want but he has the power. And I took the money from him and I kissed his hand and I thanked him."
• On political awakening (27:45):
  “…eight people got killed. And I knew my life was not going to be the same after that day because I knew everything I was told growing up was a lie.”
• On generational witness (38:25):
  "It was a responsibility to write what happened, and we need documentation, even if we are not seeing the results now. This is for the future generations to understand..."
• Final reflection (40:00):
  “The Arab Spring taught us to dream, but now this moment taught us to think.”

Timestamps for Core Segments

• Family & Memoir Backstory: 02:31 – 09:37
• Abuse, Wealth, and Patriarchy: 12:20 – 20:07
• First Protest & Political Awakening: 22:42 – 29:26
• Mother’s Disappearance: 30:57 – 36:13
• Power/Limitations of Reporting: 37:31 – 40:08

Episode Tone & Impact

The conversation is raw, painful, and unflinchingly honest. Lubna Marai’s voice—clear, vulnerable, and self-analytical—drives the narrative, while Arthi Shahani’s empathetic questioning keeps the focus on the interplay between the personal and political. Both host and guest dig into questions of moral complexity, generational trauma, and the price of rebellion.

For listeners who want a deeper understanding of the Syrian uprising’s human cost, cycles of power and abuse, and how personal defiance can shape—and haunt—a life, this episode is both devastating and necessary.