Fresh Air "Best Of: Ben Stiller / Cynthia Erivo"

Date: November 22, 2025
Host(s): Terry Gross, Tanya Mosley
Guests: Ben Stiller, Cynthia Erivo

Episode Overview

This "Best Of" episode of Fresh Air features two in-depth conversations:

• Ben Stiller discusses his profoundly personal documentary about his parents, comedy duo Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, delving into family complexities, performance anxieties, and growing up in showbiz.
• Cynthia Erivo reflects on her starring role in "Wicked for Good," the film adaptation of the beloved Broadway musical, and connects the story’s themes to her own journey as a Black artist. She also shares insights from her memoir "Simply More."

Ben Stiller on "Stiller and Nothing Is Lost"

(00:45–33:13)

The Family Documentary: Unearthing the Past

• Personal Motivation (04:51–05:45)
  Ben Stiller found a treasure trove of cassette and reel-to-reel recordings made by his father, Jerry Stiller, after both his parents had passed away. These included intimate, sometimes uncomfortable conversations between Jerry and Anne about their marriage and work.

  • Quote (Ben Stiller, on Amy overhearing a rehearsal):
    “Amy looked at us and she started to smile. Well, about two weeks later we were fighting and Amy walked in and she said, ‘Mommy, Daddy rehearsed.’... It gets to be a little complicated sometimes.” (04:51)
  • The recordings highlighted the blurred lines between performance and reality within his childhood home.

• Life in a Showbiz Family (05:45–07:36)

  • Growing up, Ben and his sister Amy often couldn’t distinguish between real family arguments and rehearsals.
  • The family’s living room doubled as their office, with “raised voices” being background noise for the Stiller kids.

Comedy, Collaboration, and Creative Tension

• Distinct Professional Backgrounds (10:30–12:26)
  • Jerry was driven toward comedy, idolizing figures like Eddie Cantor, and saw performing as his way out of poverty.
  • Anne was initially a dramatic actress, deeply trained, and joined Jerry in comedy more out of loyalty and love than genuine aspiration.
  • Quote (Ben Stiller):
    “The core difference was that my dad…really wanted to do comedy and I’m not sure my mom really wanted to...She was studying with Uta Hagen at HB Studios...was very committed to being a dramatic actress.” (10:30)
  • Anne turned out to be a natural at live performance, while Jerry was diligent but more anxious, needing frequent rehearsal.

The Fun and the Flaws of a Celebrity Childhood

• Perks of Showbiz Parents (15:06–16:20)

  • “It was a lot of fun,” Ben says—adults coming in and out, exciting events, late-night parties, and TV sets.
  • Both kids appeared on talk shows with their parents, including a notoriously bad violin duet on The Mike Douglas Show:
    • Quote (Terry Gross):
      “It was awful. There’s cutaways to your parents laughing as you both play violin and perform.” (16:33)

• Unintended Pressures and Traumas (17:43–20:05)

  • Ben recalls both the thrill and pressure of being put onstage or on TV as a child, and retells a memory where he was yelled at on a game show set for innocently misplacing a prop—a trauma that stuck with him for years.
  • This theme repeats with his own daughter, whom he cast (and then cut) from a film:
    • Quote (Ben Stiller):
      “I put her in the movie and then I cut the scene out...But of course, my daughter remembers that I cut her out when she was 8 years old.” (18:25)

Anne Meara’s Motherhood & Emotional Complexity

• Loss and Uncertainty (20:05–22:17)
  • Anne struggled as a parent, likely related to losing her own mother at age 10:
    • Quote (Ben Stiller):
      “When she finally had kids, she was daunted by how to be a mom...I sensed it subconsciously...stuff that I kind of processed later in life.” (20:34)
  • The film addresses Anne’s tension and drinking, issues not discussed at home.

Absence and Wildness: When the Parents Weren’t Home

• Cared for by Hazel, Family Nanny (23:06–24:29)

  • Hazel, a Jamaican nanny with seven children, was a stabilizing force when Jerry and Anne traveled. Ben and Amy became close to Hazel’s family.
  • When left alone, the children indulged in mischief, including Ben’s infamous teenage escapades:
    • Quote (Ben Stiller):
      “My sister started going to Studio 54 when she was…17. And I was 13 and she would take me...They put me in a yellow and green polka dotted Fiorucci shirt and an army jacket and these Mickey Mouse sunglasses.” (24:32–25:43)

• Confronting Danger and Parental Reactions (26:36–28:17)

  • Ben recalls calling his parents while “tripping” on LSD at 14, while they were away filming The Love Boat:
    • Quote (Ben Stiller):
      “I was the guy who called his parents on LSD...My dad was actually much nicer and kind of tried to help talk me down...He said, ‘Let’s just meditate a little bit.’” (26:52–27:29)
    • Ben credits his father’s calm, open-hearted response as a meaningful, spiritual bond.

Cycles of Fame and Family Dynamics

• Children and Fame (29:13–31:40)

  • Ben discusses with his son, Quinn, the generational effects of growing up around famous parents—attention directed away by fans:
    • Quote (Quinn Stiller):
      “I had been stressed about college stuff. And then the people there wanted to get like a picture with you. And I just remember I was so frustrated, like the world just has to stop to get this picture. You know what I mean?” (29:56)
  • Ben reflects with humility on unintentionally repeating his father’s patterns.

• Coping with Stress and Finding Peace (32:05–33:08)

  • Ben credits family, time at home, and selective career choices as his way to keep stress in check.

Cynthia Erivo on "Wicked for Good" and "Simply More"

(34:43–52:10)

Connection to Elphaba and Parallels in Life

• Merging Life and Art (36:10–37:10)

  • Cynthia Erivo recounts discovering deep parallels between her personal history and Elphaba, the “Wicked Witch,” especially while filming the movie:
    • Quote (Cynthia Erivo): “There were so many sort of real parallels. The relationship with her father, the relationship to being in spaces that don’t really include you...the feelings you see in the movie are very real feelings because they’re sort of immediate.” (36:29)

• A Moment of Recognition (37:16–37:53)

  • A scene with Elphaba’s father made Erivo realize, “Oh, I recognize that,” as their complex relationship mirrored her own familial dynamics.

• Defying Gravity: Refuge in Song (39:05)

  • As a drama student, “Defying Gravity” was a sanctuary:
    • Quote (Erivo, reading from her memoir): “This song gave me refuge. Singing it during a very vulnerable time in my life. These songs made me feel safe.” (38:30–39:05)

Alienation at Drama School and Finding Her Voice

• Experiencing Exclusion and Microaggressions (41:06)

  • Cynthia describes feeling judged as “unfocused and troublesome,” and being subjected to body-shaming comments from faculty.
    • Quote (Erivo): “There’s one person who made a comment about my body. It was too muscular...it was horrifying.” (41:12)
  • Worked multiple jobs to support herself, unlike some classmates.

• Invisible Performance (42:57–44:01)

  • She was once asked to sing backstage for another student, who lip-synced her vocals onstage—a moment that led to a promise to never “give my voice” away again.
    • Quote (Erivo): “I do not say yes to everything at all. It has to mean something for me to sing...I will never give my voice to someone like that again. Because it felt like someone removing a gift that was meant for me and giving it to someone else.” (43:03)

Crafting Elphaba: Process and Production

• Acting and Scent Memory (46:36–50:41)

  • Filming both "Wicked" films simultaneously required emotional agility; Cynthia relied on specific perfumes for each stage of Elphaba’s life to “click back into where we are in time.”
    • Quote (Erivo):
      “I always find a scent for each person...So Elphaba, who was young, wore a very different scent to Elphaba, who was older.” (46:59)
    • Elphaba’s “for good” scent: “Witchy Woo”—a serendipitous and transformative fragrance, discovered unexpectedly.

• Synesthesia and Performance (49:50–50:41)

  • Cynthia links her creative process to her synesthesia, perceiving colors when singing—another way her senses guide her character work.

• Physical Preparation (50:41–51:16)

  • She trained to sing while swimming or even running laps to build endurance for the intense demands of the role.

Defining a Cultural Lexicon

• Impact of "Defying Gravity" (51:16–51:52)

  • Erivo reflects on the cultural phenomenon of the song and her pride in contributing her own version to its canon.

• Vivid Imagery (51:57)

  • Quote (Erivo):
    “Blues. Strangely different. Blue. Like, like iridescent blues.” (In response to what colors she sees when singing "Defying Gravity")

Notable Quotes & Standout Moments

• On Family-Work Overlap:
  “You really try to do better than your parents, but it’s very hard to not make some of the same mistakes that they make.”
  — Ben Stiller (30:19)

• On Artistic Boundaries:
  “I will never give my voice to someone like that again...it just felt, in the moment, really awful.”
  — Cynthia Erivo (43:03)

• On Trusting Her Own Instincts:
  “If I’m not honest about what I feel or have felt or how this music has made me feel, then I think I’m leaving something on the table that is important.”
  — Cynthia Erivo (39:22)

• On Connection to Her Father:
  “He was always, for me, a very spiritual person and very...he had just like a really open heart.”
  — Ben Stiller (28:17)

Key Timestamps

| Segment | Guest & Topic | Timestamp | |:--------------:|:----------------|:---------:| | Ben Stiller segment begins | Ben Stiller on family & documentary | 00:45 | | Childhood confusion about parental arguments | Amy Stiller’s perspective | 04:51 | | Explaining parents’ distinct performing styles | Ben Stiller | 10:30 | | Showbiz perks and downsides as a child | Ben Stiller | 15:06 | | On being put on TV as a kid | Ben Stiller | 16:20–18:24 | | Anne Meara’s struggles with motherhood | Ben Stiller | 20:05 | | Sneaking into Studio 54 | Ben Stiller | 24:32 | | Calling parents on LSD | Ben Stiller | 26:36 | | Conversation with son about fame | Quinn Stiller | 29:56 | | Stress management & home life | Ben Stiller | 32:05 | | Cynthia Erivo segment begins | Wicked for Good & memoir | 34:43 | | Realizing connection to Elphaba | Cynthia Erivo | 36:29 | | Reading from memoir | Cynthia Erivo | 38:30 | | Drama school exclusion | Cynthia Erivo | 41:06 | | On being silenced backstage | Cynthia Erivo | 43:03 | | Using scent to develop character | Cynthia Erivo | 46:59 | | On singing “Defying Gravity” and seeing colors| Cynthia Erivo | 51:52 |

Final Thoughts

This episode of Fresh Air offers a rich, dual portrait of artistic legacy and personal growth—one family’s navigation of love, comedy, and fame through Ben Stiller’s honest documentary, and Cynthia Erivo’s testament to individuality and creative power as she claims her place both onstage and in the cultural conversation. Both guests embrace vulnerability, complexity, and self-reflection, making the episode as emotionally resonant as it is entertaining.