How do we recognize the signs of childhood abuse—especially when it’s hidden behind a mask of love and trust? What can we do to educate and empower children, parents, and communities to break the silence before it’s too late?

In this episode, Lisa welcomes Jessica Ella, Australia’s leading women’s trauma therapist and survivor, to share her powerful story and expertise. Jessica’s childhood was marked by confusion, fear, and secrets—her father, admired by outsiders as “Super Dad,” was in reality her abuser. Like so many children, Jessica trusted her parent completely, making the betrayal and manipulation even more devastating. She describes how abuse cloaked in love creates unbearable confusion, self-blame, and a twisted sense of normalcy that can last for decades.

Together, Lisa and Jessica break down the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of childhood abuse: secrecy, fear, sudden changes in behavior, withdrawal, and the burden of “unhappy secrets” that children are too scared to share. They discuss the importance of teaching children the difference between safe surprises and unsafe secrets, and why early, age-appropriate conversations are crucial for prevention. Jessica shares her experience writing the children’s book Secret or Surprise—a practical tool designed to help families and educators start these vital conversations with kids as young as four, before grooming and abuse can take root.

This episode is a call to action for parents, teachers, and caregivers: learn the signs, trust your instincts, and create safe spaces where children know they can speak up. Lisa and Jessica remind listeners that education, open dialogue, and breaking generational cycles of silence are the keys to protecting children and supporting survivors on their path to healing.

“From now on…I will always be the example.”

Just a heads up: This episode contains discussions of familial sexual assault, grooming, psychological abuse and physical abuse. Some may find it upsetting. We encourage you to take care of yourself.

About Jessica Ella:

Jessica Ella is an internationally accredited holistic trauma expert and the founder of Aaruka® Therapy. Known as Australia’s Leading Women’s Trauma Therapist, Jessica has helped thousands of women break free from their past, helping them to heal their complex trauma and sexual abuse so that they can reclaim freedom, love & power. Her work is raw, real and deeply transformational.

Follow Jessica Ella @iamjessicaella on Instagram. Check out www.jessicaella.com.au to learn more about her work and services. To order her book go to www.secretorsurprise.com.au.

Follow Lisa Phillips ⁠@iamlisaphillips⁠ on Instagram.

From Now On is produced by LA PHILLIPS MEDIA. Listen and follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.

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If today’s conversation resonated with you and you are seeking more support in your own healing journey, here are some resources below:

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, help is available. Call 800.656.HOPE (4673)
If you or someone you know is being trafficked, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline. Text 233733 (befree).
PAVE is a 501(c)(3) non-profit creating a world free from sexual violence and building communities to support survivors.
Speak Out, Act, Reclaim (SOAR) is dedicated to providing a safe and empowering space for survivors of sex trafficking to reclaim their stories and stand up for themselves and each other.

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