Become a Better Financial Decision-Maker with Jessica Moorhouse

Summary

Frugal Friends Podcast - Episode 473: Become a Better Financial Decision-Maker with Jessica Morehouse

Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Guest: Jessica Morehouse
Release Date: January 3, 2025
Knowledge Cutoff: October 2023

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Introduction

In Episode 473 of the Frugal Friends Podcast, hosts Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni engage in a profound conversation with financial expert Jessica Morehouse. The episode delves into the intricacies of financial decision-making, exploring how our internal narratives, upbringing, and past traumas influence our money choices. Jessica, an accredited financial counselor in Canada and author of “Everything but Money: The Hidden Barriers Between You and Financial Freedom,” provides listeners with actionable insights to enhance their financial autonomy and well-being.

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Understanding Financial Decision-Making

[07:02] Jen Smith:
“One thing is how we speak to ourselves about money. We have an internal dialogue specifically about money, and most of the time it's negative unless you're in an amazing financial space.”

Jessica emphasizes the importance of internal dialogue in shaping financial behaviors. She explains that our subconscious conversations about money—often negative—can significantly impact everyday financial decisions, from choosing to buy organic products to deciding whether to invest or stay in a secure job.

Notable Quote:
[07:43] Jessica Morehouse:
"How we feel about money drives our decisions, whether it's about daily purchases or long-term financial planning."

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The Role of Upbringing and Trauma

Jessica delves into how our upbringing and past traumas can create hidden barriers to making sound financial decisions. She discusses the concept of generational trauma and epigenetic inheritance, illustrating how fears and behaviors around money can be passed down through generations.

[25:48] Jessica Morehouse:
"Our upbringing lays the foundation for our financial mindset. Whether you grew up in poverty or wealth, those early experiences shape your financial decisions as an adult."

She shares personal anecdotes, such as her grandfather's bankruptcy, which instilled in her a deep-seated fear of financial loss. Jessica underscores the necessity of recognizing and addressing these internal barriers to break free from unproductive financial patterns.

Notable Quote:
[30:59] Jill Sirianni:
"It impacts how you spend money because it's a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence from that."

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Good vs. Poor Financial Decisions

A significant portion of the discussion focuses on redefining financial decisions as neither inherently good nor bad but rather as choices that can either advance or hinder one's financial goals depending on the context.

[17:20] Jen Smith:
"Good financial decisions move you forward, while poor ones may limit your future potential."

Jessica stresses the importance of contextualizing decisions based on one's current financial state and long-term objectives. She encourages listeners to evaluate their decisions not by moral standards but by their effectiveness in achieving personal financial freedom.

Notable Quote:
[19:17] Jill Sirianni:
"We often make decisions thinking they're bad, but they are simply pivots in different directions."

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Practical Steps for Better Financial Decisions

Jessica provides a structured approach for listeners to improve their financial decision-making:

1. Identify Your Money Story:
   Understanding the narratives and beliefs about money that have been ingrained through upbringing and experiences.

2. Recognize and Address Trauma:
   Acknowledging past traumas, whether directly related to finances or not, and seeking professional help to heal.

3. Assess External Barriers:
   Recognizing societal injustices and privileges that may affect financial opportunities and striving to overcome them.

4. Build Financial Foundations:
   Establishing a clear financial foundation by setting personal goals and aligning them with values.

5. Implement Incremental Changes:
   Making small, manageable changes rather than attempting large, sweeping financial overhauls.

[33:47] Jen Smith:
"The good thing about my book is that it includes exercises to help you identify and work through your financial barriers piece by piece."

Notable Quote:
[33:31] Jill Sirianni:
"It's these small incremental changes that will lead to big financial results and significant personal growth over time."

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Impact of Social Injustice on Financial Decisions

Jessica elaborates on how social injustices such as racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination can impede financial progress. She highlights the systemic barriers that disproportionately affect marginalized groups and emphasizes the need for collective action and advocacy to foster equitable financial opportunities.

[42:55] Jen Smith:
"Discrimination often creates financial barriers that are beyond individual control, making it harder for affected individuals to achieve financial milestones."

Notable Quote:
[43:00] Jessica Morehouse:
"No matter how hard you work, systemic issues like discrimination can still hold you back. It's crucial to recognize and address these external challenges while working on your personal financial strategies."

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Personal Reflections and Takeaways

Towards the end of the episode, both hosts and Jessica share personal reflections on their financial journeys. They discuss the importance of aligning financial decisions with personal happiness and fulfillment rather than purely monetary gains.

[39:17] Jason Alexander:
"Our financial decisions are rarely about math; it's much more about who we are as individuals."

Jessica reflects on her own experiences, noting how her obsession with money stemmed from childhood insecurities and how she has worked to shift her focus towards activities and relationships that bring genuine joy.

Notable Quote:
[60:31] Jill Sirianni:
"Every decision is just a pivot slightly in one direction. It's never something that's going to ruin you."

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with a reaffirmation of the key themes: the significance of understanding one's internal financial narratives, the impact of upbringing and trauma, the influence of societal structures, and the power of incremental, intentional financial changes. Jessica encourages listeners to engage in introspection, seek professional guidance when needed, and adopt a compassionate approach towards their financial journeys.

[62:01] Jill Sirianni:
"It's these small incremental changes, coupled with inner work, that will transform your financial future by this time next year."

Final Notable Quote:
[63:00] Jason Alexander:
"Understanding ourselves is crucial, and having perspectives like Jessica's helps reinforce how important this introspection truly is."

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Additional Resources

• Book: Everything but Money: The Hidden Barriers Between You and Financial Freedom by Jessica Morehouse
  • Available At: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop.org, and local bookstores
  • More Information: jessicamoorhouse.com
  • Social Media: @jessicamoorhouse

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. [07:43] Jessica Morehouse:
   "How we feel about money drives our decisions, whether it's about daily purchases or long-term financial planning."

2. [25:48] Jessica Morehouse:
   "Our upbringing lays the foundation for our financial mindset. Whether you grew up in poverty or wealth, those early experiences shape your financial decisions as an adult."

3. [33:31] Jill Sirianni:
   "It's these small incremental changes that will lead to big financial results and significant personal growth over time."

4. [42:55] Jen Smith:
   "Discrimination often creates financial barriers that are beyond individual control, making it harder for affected individuals to achieve financial milestones."

5. [60:31] Jill Sirianni:
   "Every decision is just a pivot slightly in one direction. It's never something that's going to ruin you."

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 473 of the Frugal Friends Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of the psychological and societal factors influencing financial decisions. Jessica Morehouse's insights provide listeners with a deeper understanding of their financial behaviors and practical steps to attain financial freedom. By addressing both internal narratives and external barriers, this episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their financial decision-making and achieve a more fulfilling financial life.

Transcript

[Kate Max]

Hi friend.

[Jen]

It's your inner child calling.

[Kate Max]

And they want churros.

[Jen]

A new toy and a new adventure.

[Jill]

Or maybe five with the bestest besties on Earth.

[Kate Max]

Find your moment at Walt Disney World resort.

[Jessica Morehouse]

SephiRun Season 2 is coming to Apple TV.

[Jen]

What you all did five months ago.

[Jessica Morehouse]

Was one of the most painful moments in the history of this company.

[Jen]

Our message got out. We're famous.

[Jill]

All of us equally.

[Eric Zimmer]

Or one of us is like the star. What did you see?

[Joel]

My audi's wife was Ms. Casey.

[Jen]

If you want to find out what happened to her, I'll help. She's still alive.

[Eric Zimmer]

I want to see my wife. He should have left severance.

[Jessica Morehouse]

New season streaming January 17th only on Apple TV.

[Matt]

Plus Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover? That can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up. Well, you could use our help.

[Eric Zimmer]

That's right.

[Joel]

I'm Joel.

[Matt]

And I am Matt, and we're from.

[Joel]

The how to Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general.

[Matt]

You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Eric Zimmer]

Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the Good Wolf. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One youe Feed. Every week, I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all.

[Jason Alexander]

This is a lifeline transformational. The best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard.

[Eric Zimmer]

Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Foreign.

[Peter Tilden]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[SephiRun]

And I'm Peter Tilden.

[Peter Tilden]

And together our mission on the really.

[SephiRun]

Know really podcast is to get the.

[Peter Tilden]

True answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[SephiRun]

Why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[SephiRun]

500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the Really? No Italy Podcast Follow us on the.

[Peter Tilden]

Iheartradio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jill]

Episode 473 Become a Better Financial Decision Maker with Jessica Morehouse.

[Eric Zimmer]

Welcome to the.

[Jen]

Frugal Friends Podcast where you'll learn to.

[Eric Zimmer]

Save money, embrace simplicity, and live a richer life.

[Jen]

Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jill]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast. My name is Jen. My name is Jill and Happy New Year to all of our faithful listeners. If you are joining us for the first time, welcome. We're so excited to have you with us.

[Jason Alexander]

This is an exciting time. 2025. So much hope for the future and we're kicking it off by helping you identify how you make financial decision, ways that you can make better financial decisions, and really mostly some of the reasons why we can find ourselves in situations where we're not making the best decisions with our money. And Jessica Morehouse is the kindest, most knowledgeable person to be talking with us about this. I had so many takeaways from it, so I'm excited to share it with you all.

[Jill]

Yeah, it was so fun. But first, this episode is brought to you by your last chance. I know it's only January 3rd, but hear me when I say this is your last chance to pre order our new book Buy what yout Love without going broke and get access to our last live class on January 29th, which is a guided walkthrough to create your 2025 spending plan. This workshop is free to all pre orderers, but you have you only have until January 7th to get access to it, so head to Buy what you love book.com order from your favorite booksel welovebookshop.org submit a screenshot of your receipt on that same page. Buy what you love book.com and you will get access to the workshop on January 29th. And in the meantime, you'll get access to the live workshop we just did on how to make a one year meal plan.

[Jason Alexander]

We're going into the little.

[Jill]

You only have a few more days to get access to those workshops, so.

[Jason Alexander]

Buy what you love book and it's considered pre order. But you will get it to your house this week if you do pre order it now.

[Jill]

So I believe so.

[Jason Alexander]

I mean, depends on where you buy it from.

[Jill]

But if you're interested in your financial decision making or your decision making in general, we have a lot of archive episodes for you. We have episode 462 willpower and self control in spending episode 437 how to kick Burnout to the Curb with Jess Massey. And then episode 404, which I really like. Asking questions that lead to better spending decisions with Jeff Wetzler. He wrote a fantastic book on how to ask better questions and that is the root of a lot of our decisions. We ask ourselves unhealthy questions that lead to untrue thoughts and those thoughts lead to poor financial decisions or really any decisions in general. And that's really what Jessica is helping us with right now. She is a sought, she is a sought after money expert and accredited financial counselor in Canada. So I know this is all going to be relevant to any country, but especially if you're in Canada. She hosts the More Money podcast and it is fantastic resource for anybody based in Canada. And her debut book is titled Everything but Money, the hidden barriers between you and financial freedom. And let's not waste any time. Let's get into it.

[Jason Alexander]

Let's do it.

[Jill]

Jessica, welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. We are stoked to have you.

[Jen]

Thanks for having me.

[Jason Alexander]

This is a really exciting conversation. I think whenever we can kind of get into more of the nuances and some of the ways that we think and behave around money, I think, well, we love it. Our audience loves it.

[Jen]

Absolutely.

[Jason Alexander]

With that, Jessica, I wonder if you can kind of kick us off in talking about some of these smaller financial decisions. Like, we know that we make these big decisions about money occasionally, but what, what would you say are some of the smaller financial decisions that we make every day that we may or may not think about or realize is even tied to money?

[Jen]

I'd say one thing is how we speak to ourselves about money. So we have, we all have an internal dialogue and we have one specifically when it comes to money. So whenever you're, you know, you get your paycheck or you're talking to friends or family about money, you're at the cash register, you've got an internal monologue. And most of the time it's probably, unless you're in an amazing financial space and you come from a, you know, place of security and everything nice, you're going to have a very negative relationship with money. And that will, you know, impact probably all of those day to day decisions like, should I buy, you know, organic or not? Oh, I can't afford organic. It's so expensive. And so I think a lot of those little things come down to how are we talking to ourselves about money? And I say this not as a judgment because this is literally something that we all have, myself included, my internal dialogue when it Comes to money is very negative. Even though I wrote a book on how to heal, it's a practice. So you have to practice at it to get better at it and be kinder to yourself. And it's easier said than done. But I'd say that's probably a place that most people would not really think to start. Because, you know, when you mentioned, you know, what are little things we can do, you know, the my mind goes, well, you know, just buying that latte, da, da, da, da. No, it has nothing to do with like what you're purchasing or what you're actually doing with your money. I think a lot of it has to do with how do you feel, how does money make you feel? And then how is that driving any of your financial decisions? Whether that's what am I going to get for lunch today? Or should I put money into my investments or should I put it towards debt or should I go for that promotion or new job to make a little bit more money. Maybe I should just stay where I'm at because it's safe and secure and I don't want to rock the boat and things like that. Those are the things that have a, you know, they're little things have a huge impact on the your financial future.

[Jason Alexander]

The money story piece is so interesting to me and even how you kind of highlighted the way that we might look at different financial decisions differently, it makes me think about, I've noticed more recently how I will place certain value on some things but not on others. Like, I'll easily drop $55 on a dinner out and not really think about it. But if you were to tell me I've got to pay $50 a single article of clothing, I'm like, that's so much money. Even clothing should last me way longer.

[Jill]

Than should be easier. Like if you're just looking at numbers. Which is why, like, we talk so much about neutrality in looking at your spending. Because I mean, yes, that is something, Jessica, that speaks to me. Like I my whole life and this is, I think something just like really currently I'm struggling with in this current season is in my mind. I always say I don't make enough money. It doesn't matter how much money I make or even more importantly, how much my expenses are compared to what I'm earning in the current season. I always have the narrative I don't make enough money. And that mindset just naturally has nothing to do with spending, but it naturally permeates every spending decision I make because I don't make enough Money for organic milk.

[Jason Alexander]

I didn't realize it was the lightning round already. I know I'm just, like, vulnerable.

[Jen]

What I'm, like, hearing is not just I don't make enough is that I don't deserve that. Oh, yeah, I know, right? That's what I heard. I don't deserve. Or.

[Jason Alexander]

And.

[Jill]

And I do. I think what I do deserve is very little small treats. I. I deserve the latte. I deserve something small because of its smallness.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

And like, the big things, I wouldn't say I don't deserve them, but I would say, I quote, unquote, don't need them. Which translates to the same. Same idea. Like, it just need just sounds like better, more justifiable. But it really means, like, I think I don't deserve it.

[Jen]

And I think that's probably, you know, there's based on probably so many things, how you grew up. But also, you know, like me, you entered the personal finance world. There was a lot of big voices that said, hey, this is what you're supposed to do, abc, if you want to be good with money. And a lot of it was the language like, do you need it or do you want it? If it's a want, that's the connotation is that's bad need. Oh, well, that's important. That's a necessity. That's okay to spend your money in that way. And so there's like, this automatic. If you want something, there's something wrong with that.

[Jill]

Yeah. And that results in all of making these spending decisions and justifying it as a need, even though it really is a want. And then we have these wants and we don't fulfill them because they seem superfluous and we feel guilty. It's so.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, there's also the issue of defining a need, because, yeah, we need food, clothing, shelter, but can the clothing be nice and quality and kind to the labor force? And can the food be tasty? And then you start to get into, well, that's going to cost more, and then now is it considered a luxury? So it's really hard to even draw a clear line on those things. So it's clearly not even the best metric.

[Jen]

Yeah, no, it's funny one thing. Um, you know, for example, there's always a way to be like, yeah, but there's a way to do it cheaper or for free. And I feel like that's also very ingrained in me that I have to be like, it's okay if I spend more money on this thing that I want or need and can afford. Comfortably, for example, you know, for years when I was in my 20s, I was pretty, you know, lower income, didn't make too much money. And so I made a lot of choices from that place of scarcity. I only have this amount of money and, you know, to work out, I do everything for free. I'd get like, you know, tapes or, you know, CDs, DVDs from the library or from a friend and I'd burn them and I'd do them at home or I'd go running outside. Anything that was like free or very cheap. And now cut to me, my late 30s, I spend a couple hundred dollars a month on this group fitness program that is, you know, five minutes from my house. It's very community based. It makes me feel so happy and I actually go and actually work out and have a great time. It brings a lot of value and happiness into my life. But it took me a while to be like, it's okay that you spend this money on this thing. Because the internal dialogue was, but there's a way you can go to the gym and get a $50 a month, you know, membership. Why are you spending this kind of money? Like, who do you think you, you know, and all those, who do you think you are? And you're like, that needs to go. That voice is not serving me. It is just making me feel bad and likely if I, if I wasn't part of this fitness thing, this is the only thing I've stuck to for almost two years. And I've actually seen, you know, physical results, me getting more muscle and again, just like my mood is better compared to me trying to do it at home. And I just don't have the self motivation and stuff like that. So it was like, I don't know why we have these things. Well, I do know why we have these things, but why we continue to let these voices, these ideas of ourselves, these money stories we've built over these years continue to drive us in a certain path where we think we're, oh no, if I'm cheaper and just spend less, da da da, and I'm super frugal, then, you know, I'll be better. But it's like, you know, frugal isn't the same as cheapness. Like, frugal is really, I define it as spending within your means, but also specifically within your values. And so I think frugal is a positive thing because it's being intentional with your money. But I think sometimes we get caught in the trap of just like, no, I shouldn't Spend. I shouldn't spend. I shouldn't spend. And that's, that comes from, I mean, for me, that comes from my family. It comes from my ancestors. Historically, we've been poor for hundreds of years. It comes from, you know, the money story that I internalized from, from things growing up. And then voices that I was drawn to as an adult learning about personal finance, probably because they were confirming the things that I already thought about myself. So I was drawn to some of those really kind of nasty voices that were shame based. And then I had to unlearn some of those really unhealthy habits and thoughts about myself in my 30s because I'm like, that's actually, I would never talk to someone like that. So why am I talking to myself like that or letting that person talk to me like that?

[Jill]

Yeah, so you talk about these like, voices that are teaching us personal finance. And one thing that I've always thought about when I hear people, specifically, really people of affluence talking about it, is there's good financial decisions and bad financial decisions. And in reality, we always talk about, especially with spending decisions, but really any financial decision, whether it be debt or whatever, that the decisions themselves are neutral. There's no good or bad, but there are ones that are good to move you forward in that season and ones that may limit you in the season or in further seasons. And so I like how you talk about financial decisions as being good, not good or bad, but like good versus poor. Can you like, give us a little bit about how you define the markers of good versus poor financial decisions?

[Jen]

Yeah, it's.

[Jason Alexander]

There's.

[Jen]

Yeah, I totally agree. There's. There's ones that are like, this is, this is a good one. Like, if you do this, you're gonna see the benefits sometimes, typically not for a while. And then there's ones that they're less good, basically. But sometimes you need to make those decisions to either learn a lesson or you're just not in a headspace where you can do that. Really the, the best financial decision. Like, you know, for example, people say, oh, you've got to start investing right away at. And I knew that when I was in my early 20s learning about this, I just couldn't do it. And I think part of that was because I didn't really have the investing knowledge I needed. But also under that, I did not think that I had the intelligence or the confidence or just the skill set to actually do it. So really it was a confidence issue. It was something more internal. And so I just did not have the capacity to make a better decision. If I could go back in time with the knowledge and confidence I have now, oh, sure, I would have started investing in index funds at 18, but I just didn't have the tools and the capacity at that point. So I don't think that's a bad financial decision. I still did pretty well. I lived within my means. I was a good saver. I did all these really good things. But could I have made a better decision? Sure. But I did the best I can. And that's one thing I always. I learned this. It's something that stuck with me for years when I became a financial counselor, was when you're working with someone, you've got to remember when they come to you where they're at. They're doing the best they actually can. Most people are doing the best they can, but maybe they could be doing better if they had all these other things, skills, knowledge, motivation, a support system, all these kind of elements. But, you know, typically we don't have those yet. And so, yeah. Could we be doing better? Yes, but I think most of us are doing the best we can.

[Jill]

Yeah, I think that that's such a good, like, way to think about coming into this new year in January. We are trying to almost like we're trying to better ourselves. Right. And so often we think that to make big changes, we, to see big results, we need to make big sweeping lifestyle changes. And so often, I mean, that sets us up for failure every time because not all of those lifestyle changes are available to you immediately. They have to be built up. There's skills that have to be built up. There's curation of your environment that has to be built up. And we so take for granted these, like, smaller changes, like right up front and how, how important they are.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Joel]

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.

[Matt]

Oh, and I am Matt.

[Joel]

And we're the hosts of how to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.

[Matt]

Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs and student loan debt or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, how to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth.

[Joel]

That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, bargain. Listen to how to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Eric Zimmer]

Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One youe Feed. I've been there. Homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf.

[Jason Alexander]

This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life.

[Eric Zimmer]

The wolves are hungry. What will you feed them? Listen to the one you feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Peter Tilden]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[SephiRun]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the really Know really.

[Peter Tilden]

Podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[SephiRun]

Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Peter Tilden]

We got the answer.

[SephiRun]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer, and you never know who's going to drop by.

[Peter Tilden]

Mr. Brian Cranston is with us.

[Eric Zimmer]

How are you?

[SephiRun]

Hello, my friend Wayne Knight. About Jurassic Park.

[Peter Tilden]

Wayne Knight, welcome to really. No really, sir. Bless you all.

[SephiRun]

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Peter Tilden]

Really?

[Jen]

That's the opening?

[Peter Tilden]

Really? No, really? Yeah, really?

[Jessica Morehouse]

No really.

[Peter Tilden]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[SephiRun]

$500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason Bobblehead.

[Peter Tilden]

It's called really? No really. And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kate Max]

Hey, guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series the Running Interview show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real inspiring stories from the people you know, follow and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's light hearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run high on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you you get your podcasts.

[Jessica Morehouse]

Good people. What's up? It's Questo, Questlove and Team supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love supreme podcast is we got something for everybody. Every type of music lover. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed, you know, keystones to the culture. This season we've had some amazing one on one conversations like I'm Jay P. Hill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Hollander, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures in doing one on one conversations with Willow, Sonata, Matreya, Kathleen, Hannah and the rza. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right? Listen to Questlove supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

So I'm curious to hear from you, Jessica, on some of the things that you think can prevent us from from making good financial decisions. You've mentioned a couple of them, but I'm kind of curious, like how might we know whether or not we're even making good financial? I mean, you mentioned when you were younger you kind of had the knowledge, but there were these other things holding you back. What might be some of those markers? What might prevent us from kind of moving forward here?

[Jen]

I mean, that's ultimately the big chunk of my book, which is really helping you explore the hidden barriers in your own life to reaching whatever version of financial freedom means to you. And they come in many different forms. Some people have all of them, some people don't. But where we start is, of course, your upbringing and the stories you told yourself or your parents told you or that you Witnessed. And most of the time, especially if you come from a family where there was an extreme, extreme poverty, extreme wealth, or just extreme views when it comes to money, you would either adopt those same habits, patterns, views, or you would go the opposite direction and rebel. And I saw, I see that all the time. Someone comes from poverty, they become a big spender because they were never allowed to spend. There was no snow money. And maybe their family was very restrictive and frugal, or the other side, where they came from wealth and they had some negative fees, feelings about what that meant. And so they live, you know, became a minimalist. And so they rebelled against that. So one of the biggest barriers is really figuring out where am I coming from and what story do I want to tell instead? Because likely the story you're telling yourself right now is not serving you. So that's always where I like to start, is do that in kind of internal investigation with you, your childhood and kind of your upbringing that will, you know, reveal a lot. And I did the exact same thing for it for myself. The other one that doesn't get discussed enough, but it's becoming a little bit more talked about, is the idea of internal trauma. Whether that is a lived trauma that, you know, came from childhood or, you know, early development that has nothing to do with money but is impacting your finances. Or it could be something specific, specific to finance, such as you saw your dad go bankrupt and it really, you know, had a huge negative impact on the family that is going to have an effect on you when you're an adult, such as being afraid of debt or I'm never, you know, I'm never going to be in that situation. And so I'm going to live my life in this way. And so that's a big part of the book that I was really interested in exploring because I hadn't really read too much about that. And it was interesting, also exploring my own traumatic experiences to see I did not realize that had this big impact on me. And that was. That's been driving me for decades. Who knew? And so until you find out what's going on, kind of under the hood, so to speak, you're going to continue a cycle you don't know how to get out of. And speaking more about the trauma portion, how that can manifest is if you had a life experience that was traumatic, and then there is certain triggers that exist in the real world which could be as simple as a face, a voice, a smell, a sound, what have you, that trigger will then dysregulate you emotionally, which means that you will then be in a situation of fight or flight or fawn or freeze. Basically, you're going to be in a state where you really shouldn't be making financial decisions, but sometimes you will. And when you come from a place of this emotional dysregulation where you're just. You're acting on emotions instead of logic, you're. You're going to be making some mistakes. You're going to be buying things that you shouldn't be buying. You're going to be giving away money you shouldn't be giving away. You're going to be making these choices that when you're back into a state of peace and calm and regulation, you're going to be like, shoot, why'd I do that? That is not helping me. And now, now I'm in a worse space. And so one thing we talk about in the book is recognizing those. And of course, I always suggest working with a professional therapist to kind of dig deep. But there's tools that you can do right away to when you recognize, oh, I feel. I feel, you know, in my body, I'm not my peaceful, calm self. I'm dysregulated. How do we get back? How do we get grounded again? How do we get back to that space where we could step back and be like, you know what? I'm not going to make that decision right now. I'm going to wait and then be in a better headspace to make that decision. Because when I look back at most of my not so great or bad financial decisions, it was always coming from a place of emotion that had nothing to do with money, but I was triggered in some way, and then I did something with my money, and then I'm like, why did I do that? You know, once I was in a better headspace. So that's, I think, a part that we need to really investigate. Because what I've learned is most people don't think they have any trauma because trauma sounds very intense. It's like something really catastrophic happened to you. It can be as simple as, were you bullied in school? A lot of people were. If you're carrying that with you and you haven't healed from that, haven't worked through that, it is going to have an impact on you and your finances, going up, growing up. It absolutely is.

[Jill]

Yeah. It impacts how you spend money because it's a lack of self esteem, self confidence from that. And we see a lot of people spending on fitness, beauty, skin care, all of these things as a Result of small traumas like that that are not directly connected to finances at all.

[Jen]

And you may not make that connection initially until you start doing that kind of introspection. I mean, that was what I did while writing the book. Obviously, I had. And when I initially, like, pitched this book idea, I didn't think that I had as big of a personal connection to some of these topics as I did. I'm like, oh, I'm going to write, you know, from a perspective of I'm doing the research and I'm going to, you know. Then I'm like, no, I have to go to therapy. I have to, like, you know, do some digging for myself. And the things that I uncovered. It literally changed my life. I know that sounds like, oh, wow. It really, really did. Because I discovered about myself there was, why am I so obsessed with money? Like, it's my career now. I love it. I love talking about it, but sometimes it's not healthy. Why is that? And I discovered for myself, based off of some childhood experiences, that I was using money as kind of a surrogate. And what came with money, such as attention and some acknowledgement and things like that and career advancement, I was using that as a way to get love and attention. That in certain circumstances growing up, I felt like I was lacking. And I'm like, I'm almost 40 and I'm still making choices based off of something from my childhood. Like, that's wild. I can't go into the next decade with that headspace. I need to do something about it. And I think a lot of people can relate to that. When they really think about it, they're like, oh, right. It was this and this and this. And I've been holding onto those, and I have not really gone, you know, done the work to figure out what's going on and how can I heal. So I'm going to keep on doing these patterns until, you know, forever, until I figure out how to get out of them.

[Jill]

Yeah, same. I found while I was writing the book that I tied my financial success to. Growing up, I had a lot of book smarts, but I wasn't super popular. I was nerdy. Like, I wasn't super attractive in that crowd. So the only thing valuable about me was the success I had, like, academically, and I just transferred it to financial success in adulthood. And I. That was writing a book, man.

[Jen]

It'll bring. Yeah, you learn a lot about yourself.

[Jill]

Yes.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

Okay, so let's talk about steps people can take in 2025 to start making better financial decisions.

[Jen]

So the good thing about my book is that it does have a bunch of exercises. So after the chapter, you can go through the exercise and start doing the work piece by piece. Because sometimes when I get asked that question, so, how do we fix this? It's like, that is a big. I don't have one solution. And it can feel like a big life changer, a big thing. So we kind of chunkify things into identifying your current money story, figuring out, you know, what kind of life experiences you've had that have maybe impacted you later on. There's also a really great chapter about generational trauma and how we've actually probably inherited. If you haven't personally experienced something traumatic, but someone in your family has, it may have been transferred over to you epigenetically, which is really crazy that I've also discovered about myself. There are certain things that we have. Like, I can't place it. And then you find out. Like, I had talked to my grandpa years ago. I had him on my podcast, thank goodness, and recorded it. It was such an important thing. That ended up being in the book where he told me that he came from poverty. Goodness. And his brother was an alcoholic and also a gambler, and he lost the family home in a bet gone wrong. And because of that, you know, my grandpa was very resistant, resistant to alcohol, but also so afraid of taking any financial risk. That was transferred to my mom and then to me. And that's been something I couldn't really place. Like, why am I so afraid to, like, take risks? Or why am I Also, specifically, I've always had this fear since I was a child of losing the family home. I don't know where that came from. And then when I heard that story, I'm like, ooh, that may have something to do with something. You know, why do I have this fear of losing my house when my parents have always been financially responsible? My grandparents have. There is someone in the family who lost the family home.

[Jill]

Yeah. And it's not even something that's, like, overtly talked about, but it's made in offhanded comments.

[Jen]

Well, it's not even. It can be that. It can be. Sometimes you hear things and then they're going to just stick with you. But sometimes it actually is. Like the epigenetic portion, the science portion is genetically, it can be inherited. You can inherit fear. You can inherit certain feelings that get transferred to you, and you won't know until you do some investigation in your family tree. And there's. There's. There's a great study that was done with rats. I know we're not rats, but they were able to make these rats fear a certain smell. And then they had rat babies and those babies had the same fear of the smell without being conditioned to. They just inherited that. And it went down generations and generations. And so that's kind of the sciences and there's studies with humans as well that I won't go into, but there's some just interesting data that shows that these things that are inside you may not have come from you, but they still exist. So doing that internal work to be like, where is this coming from? And now the other elements, of course, of what are these kind of barriers? What's preventing you from maybe making some better financial decisions could just be you being a human. Human behavior is a big component. We have a bunch of biase that run rampant and most of us are really bad at identifying them and not letting them run the show. But the other element that again, also doesn't get talked enough about in, you know, lots of personal finance literature out there is, you know, things like privilege and societal injustice. If you are a person of color, a woman, or someone with disabilities or anything that, you know, makes it more difficult to hit certain financial milestones compared to, honestly, like a CIS white man, it is going to be harder for you. And what's difficult is all of the messaging out there is, well, you just have to work harder. It's like, well, we're already, the data shows we're also, we're already working twice as hard. We're tired. We're really tired. And so we need to also recognize that it's not always you. You're probably doing as best as you can and working super hard. But guess what? There's discrimination in the world that is preventing you from getting that better job. And so, and so got it. And you're like, he has less work experience than me. He's not as good as the job. Why do you get the promotion? Oh, it's because he's related to somebody in the company. But, you know, like, there's all these different things that we need to recognize. Because the one thing that when I was learning about, you know, financial, you know, management and just how to be better with money, a lot of it was just like on me, it's like, well, you need to do this. Well, you need to do this. There's a lot of things that are working against you that have nothing to do with, with what your, your actions. You know, a lot of it is just, there's a Lot of things in the way. And once you find out what those things are, then there is a path to work through them. And part of that is, you know, figuring out your financial foundation. What do you want to happen? What story do you want to tell yourself, moving forward, and then doing that internal work, working with the therapist again. I saw like three or four during the course of writing my book. To help you discover what's going on so we can move through them, leave them where they are. We don't need to bring those traumas or those experiences or even those. There is a way to undo that epigenetic inheritance. You don't have to bring it forward into your life or to your children. There's a way to kind of work through that as well. So there are solutions. But it won't be as obvious what those solutions are until you know what the real problem is.

[Jason Alexander]

It's such a helpful reminder that our financial decisions are rarely about math, and it's much more about who.

[Jen]

If it was that easy, we'd all be better at money, you know?

[Jason Alexander]

Exactly. Yeah. But again, we still just want to run to the budget and tell me how much to spend and what are the numbers on paper. And it doesn't feel great to say, you've got to explore your past and.

[Jen]

Yeah, tell me about your childhood.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

No, also so much benefit in it, too, because what you're describing and the encouragement that you're giving to all of us isn't just for the sake of benefiting our finances. It's going to help all aspects of who we are, which is incredible.

[Jill]

Exactly.

[Jen]

The goal should be to not just be in a better financial situation, build wealth, have more money in the bank, have a better sense of security. That's great. But you will hit a point, and there's a chapter that talks about money and happiness and wealth where you've. Your finances are fine. You have more than enough. You have, you know, a good situation going on. So you still don't feel good, though. You're still not happy. You still have a lot of shame. So it's not just about the numbers and how much money you can accumulate and how great you are at investing or earning, things like that. You've got to pay attention to that internal point because that. That was something I wrote about, was, you know, I had a goal of, you know, I want to be, you know, me and my husband together are net worth to be a million dollars. By the time I 30, I turned 35. That was just a goal. I'm like, once we hit that, I think I'll be happy. I think I'll, you know, can relax a little bit. And we hit that and nothing changed. Nothing changed. I was still unhappy. And so then I moved the goalpost. I'm like, Hey, 2 million by 40. And we're approaching that. We'll probably hit it now because I've done this internal work. I know if we hit it and we may not, and that's okay, I won't be much happier, I think, because what brings me happiness is not a dollar amount, even though I used to think it was for most of my life. What now brings me joy and happiness is the work that I do outside of money. Like the actual work that I do. Hanging out with friends and family and having those social connections, which is huge. Doing activities that make me happy, that aren't about productivity. Like so many people are like, oh, I started this hobby and people are like, you know, you can monetize that, just puzzle or knit or have a good time. Like, just do your hobbies and enjoy them. And that's what I've realized. I've restructured my life over these past two years to focus on what is actually going to give me long term happiness and stop focusing on these numbers that, you know, time and time again. It's not going to, it's going to give you happiness for a split second and then you're going to be like, next. What's next? Now what? So true.

[Jason Alexander]

So beautiful.

[Jill]

I have one last question about the social injustices portion because I know you talk about this in your book and I know that we have a lot of people listening to this show. 85% are women. A lot are in those disadvantaged groups. Do you have an, an action step or a quick like a mindset shift or something? What do you say to someone who's like, well, I'm definitely not, you know, trying to become a millionaire by 35. Like, I know that's not like my thing. Like, I'm just trying to make it. I'm just trying to make some do something. I'm just starting just today.

[Jen]

That was, yeah, that was one of the hardest parts because the whole book was like, okay, let's identify the problem and let me offer you solutions. I'm like, how do I offer, sorry, how do I offer solutions to like racism? Like, well, I don't have the solution for that. That's kind of a big task. But no matter what kind of discrimination you may face, and the unfortunate thing is the discrimination, sometimes it is a one on one, someone personally is discriminated. But sometimes it's the institution, it is your entire company you work for. It is, you know, whatever institution that you're dealing with that is way bigger than you, that you as an individual can't really do anything to change it. But we can make change in groups. We can, you know, use our voice and advocate for ourselves and other people, be allies for people who, you know, I know as women, we talk often about, you know, the wage gap. And it's like, well, we women have been talking about this for a while. We need our allies. We need our men out there who understand this to also vocalize and make change. Because sometimes we're still not heard despite the data. And so that's kind of what I want to kind of make sure people understood is this is really a group effort that we need to continue and have those discussions too with younger generations or children, grandchildren, so we can be making decisions. That's the one exciting thing I see with Gen Z is there is like they are making moves and sometimes it's too fast for even me. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. But I'm excited that they're making the change and they're being kind of unapologetic about some of the things that they will not stand for, which is really exciting. And then the other component is. And kind of at the end of the chapter, I kind of give this idea of, you have to remember that you, especially if you are experiencing discrimination, you can't let them win. You cannot give up. Because what's the alternative? If you do, definitely nothing will happen and things may get worse. And so you need to always. I interviewed this professor. It was funny how I connected with him. He was a special guest lecturer in this course my husband was taking. He. My husband at the time was taking a course in social work. And it was just like all these elements are like, he's not doing it anymore. He's not taking courses anymore. But he thought he'd give it a try. And then he attended one of the lessons and this professor was talking and just when I think about him, like, it's kind of crazy how is connected to this professor is like, he's. My husband shouldn't have even been in that course. But this guy, he told his story of, you know, being originally from Africa and, you know, migrating to or immigrating to Canada and having a really difficult time in terms of being accepted in the community. But also he was applying to get a master's at one of the universities and he'd already had. He already had like 4 degrees or he already had several degrees. He was a very smart man. But he wanted to get his master's in social work. And he was rejected. Not because of his education or his experience. He was absolutely qualified. It's because the person who was at the admissions was a racist. And he, you know, just immediately didn't even look at the application, but saw his name, it was not English, and he rejected him. And at first he was like, should I just give up? And luckily that admissions person moved on, left that school, and then someone else was put in that place. And actually he fought for himself. He's like, please look at my application again. I don't think it was given a fair shot. And he was accepted and then he kept on doing school and now he's a professor. And it was just. Just such an amazing story of resilience, of he could have walked away and just thrown his hands up and like, well, this is not meant to be. How can I fight the system that is working against me? But he fought, and now he is making sure that a lot more people can get into school not based off of their name or their background, but based off of their experience and education and. And qualifications, which is exciting. So that's just one thing I always remind myself is no matter how hard or hopeless it feels like we need to fight for ourselves but also fight for others. And that's what always, like, why keep on talking about privilege? And discrimination? Is like, yeah, we're not done talking about it. It's still not fixed. Might be even getting worse. We don't know what's ahead, so we need to keep on fighting.

[Jill]

It can be discouraging to make changes that may or may not benefit you, but knowing that there will be some kind of benefit in the long run does make it worth it.

[Jason Alexander]

It's such a sad, disheartening story that you're sharing here and also one of resilience. But I think the reminder throughout is that there can be elements that are working against us and it's not that we're not doing enough, which, speaking of our money stories, can become embedded. And I think recognizing where we end and others in society and how that is impacting us can. Can help us to know where we sit in the grand scheme of things and help us to know then how to be behave and respond as a result and not internalize all of these things as if they were our fault. So I appreciate that reminder.

[Jill]

One way I respond, and it may or may not be appropriate, but we.

[Jason Alexander]

Do it every single week. The bill of the week.

[Eric Zimmer]

This is the bill of the week.

[Joel]

This is the bill of the week.

[SephiRun]

That's right.

[Jen]

It's time for the best minute of your entire week.

[Eric Zimmer]

Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage.

[Jen]

Maybe your car died and you're happy.

[Eric Zimmer]

To not have to pay that bill anymore.

[SephiRun]

Duck Bills.

[Jen]

Buffalo Bills.

[Eric Zimmer]

Bill Clinton.

[Jen]

This is the bill of the week.

[Jill]

Jessica. Every week we invite our listeners and or our guests to share with us their bill for the week, and we are interested in hearing yours.

[Jen]

So this is something that I. I have a bill that I'm happy about or not happy about or because I've got whatever.

[Jason Alexander]

Whatever you want into your mind is.

[Jill]

The thing, is the right thing.

[Jen]

I'd say one thing I'm proud of. So it was recently Black Friday, and I. I do this every Black Friday. I get, you know, dysregulated emotionally because everyone's talking about all the deals. I put a bunch of stuff in online carts, and then I literally get too anxious and I don't buy anything. I'm like, I can't make a decision. I don't know. This is too big of a decision. So I don't buy anything. But one thing that me and my husband do like clockwork every year is renegotiate our phone bill. So we have two cell phones, and we were able to talk to. I don't know if it was our current provider. No, maybe it was our current provider, but sometimes we shop around to other providers, and we were able to, basically, for like, $10 more than we're currently paying, both get the new iPhone. And I'm like, this is awesome. This is a great deal. I love a good deal. So I'm happy to pay that phone bill now because now I have a new iPhone.

[Jill]

Yes. Good for you.

[Jason Alexander]

We love renegotiation. It can take time. It's one of those, oh, he was.

[Jen]

On the phone for, like, takes six hours.

[Jill]

But I'm like, you know what? That's it. That's the investment that it takes a hundred percent.

[Jason Alexander]

Don't love it, but it can help.

[Jen]

Exactly.

[Jason Alexander]

If you all listening, have a bill that you want to share. If it's about renegotiating, if it's about lowering your bill, it's about. If it's about getting free stuff like an iPhone, if it's about a good deal or your name isbillfrugalfriends podcast.com. bill, leave us your bill. We can't wait.

[Joel]

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.

[Matt]

Oh, and I am Matt.

[Joel]

And we're the hosts of how to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.

[Matt]

Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little over board with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, how to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth.

[Joel]

That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to how to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Eric Zimmer]

Inside you, two wolves are locked in battle. One thrives on fear and anger and doubt. The other, courage, wisdom, and love. Every decision, every moment feeds one of them. Which wolf are you feeding? I'm. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One youe Feed. I've been there. Homeless, addicted, and lost. I know the power of small choices to turn your life around. On this podcast, I sit down with thinkers, leaders and survivors to uncover what it takes to feed the good wolf.

[Jason Alexander]

This podcast saved me. It's like having a guide for the hardest parts of life.

[Eric Zimmer]

The wolves are hungry. The what will you feed them? Listen to the one you feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Peter Tilden]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[SephiRun]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the really Know really.

[Peter Tilden]

Podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions.

[SephiRun]

Like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Peter Tilden]

We got the answer.

[SephiRun]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut. Astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's gonna drop by.

[Peter Tilden]

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us.

[Jen]

How are you? Hello.

[SephiRun]

My friend Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

[Peter Tilden]

Wayne Knight, welcome to really. No really, Sir. Bless you all.

[SephiRun]

Hello, new and you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Peter Tilden]

Really?

[Jen]

That's the opening?

[Jill]

Really?

[Peter Tilden]

No, really? Yeah, really?

[Jessica Morehouse]

No, really.

[Peter Tilden]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[SephiRun]

500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason Bobblehead.

[Peter Tilden]

It's called really? No, really and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kate Max]

Hey, guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, the Running Interview show where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout?

[Jen]

Well.

[Kate Max]

Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real inspiring stories from the people you know, follow and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Postrun high on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jessica Morehouse]

Good people, what's up? It's Questo Quest Love and Team supreme. And I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of questlove supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes. And they paved the way for those that followed, you know, keystones to the culture. This season we've had some amazing one on one conversations like MP Hill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Hollander, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures in doing one on one conversations with Willow, Sonata, Matreya, Kathleen, Hannah and the rza. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right, Listen to Questlove supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

For it. And now it's time for the lightning round.

[Jill]

All right, so for today, what's a recent big financial decision You've had to make.

[Jen]

Oh, my gosh. What's another. What's the big difference? I should have been more prepared. You sent me these questions in advance.

[Jason Alexander]

I actually did change this at the last minute. It's so unfair.

[Jen]

Like, what is a big financial decision that we made? I mean, we made one kind of also Black Friday decided, you know what? We need a vacation. So we did drop some thousands of dollars on a vacation in the spring. So that was like a big decision we had. Like, are we going to do this? Are we gonna do this? And I'm like, should I press the button? Should I press the button? So that was like, probably the most recent big financial decision.

[Jason Alexander]

But it sounds like you're paying in advance for this vacation.

[Jen]

I sure am. I got six months of just reminding myself, remember, though, we're going on vacation.

[Jill]

Yeah. It's the anticipation of the vacation that is just as good, if not better than the actual vacation.

[Jen]

Well, I write about this in the book. There's data that shows that it's the before and after a vacation are the best parts.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't know. I just went on vacation and the. And the beat. The during was.

[Jen]

Okay, good, good.

[Jason Alexander]

Pinnacle. Okay, good.

[Jill]

But she's a weird traveler, though. For most of us, it's the anticipation.

[Jen]

The anticipation.

[Jason Alexander]

Where are you going?

[Jen]

We're going to Dominican Republic. Never been nice. So, yeah, doing a resort kind of thing, easy. I just would need something where I'm like, I can show up and not think.

[Jason Alexander]

Absolutely.

[Jen]

That's fantastic.

[Jason Alexander]

For me, it hasn't been great over here in St. Petersburg.

[Jill]

Answers are similar.

[Jason Alexander]

They are not cool. Yeah. A lot of damage happened to the house. And so for us, it was figuring out how we want to allocate not only the money that we have set aside kind of for emergencies and house projects, but, I mean, really initially, do we even want to file claim with insurance discovered? Absolutely. What. What we need done is way far and beyond our deductible. But, yeah, then how do we want to then allocate the money that the insurance gives us? Because it's not going to actually cover everything that we need to have done. So these have been some big, weighty decisions. But I think too pacing myself has been helpful. And that's one of those things that I've learned over time is nothing will happen all at once. And even when things do feel complete come tomorrow, they won't be complete anymore. Something else will need to be done again. So, yeah, just really pacing myself with all of the kind of new projects that were dropped on us literally by the wind.

[Jill]

Yeah. Similarly, we have to get hurricane proof windows. Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

Hurricane.

[Jen]

Where do you guys live? Again?

[Jill]

We're seeing Florida. Florida. Oh yeah.

[Jen]

There's a lot of hurricanes. I heard.

[Eric Zimmer]

Year.

[Jill]

Yeah. Yeah. Especially this year. And so we, we have gotten a grant from the state in order to get some hurricane proof windows.

[Jen]

Amazing.

[Jill]

But it's not going to cover. We essentially have to spend 10,000 in order to get 10,000. And that is the. This is a house that we've been renovating in order to eventually sell. And with the hurricanes having these windows, it feels like essential. Now, even though it will not increase the price we were able to sell it for with the grant, we'll essentially just recoup the cost. But it isn't it. That's a lot of money.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

So on that note, thank you so much, Jessica for coming on and talking about financial decision making. Where can people get your new book and get more from you?

[Jen]

Yes. So it's called Everything But Money, the hidden barriers between you and Financial Freedom. It's available everywhere. Canada, the U.S. i am Canadian, but everything I talk about I just made sure for all my like, us like fans and readers. Every example I give is in Canada and also the US So it is applicable to you because again, it's not really about money. It's about all the inside stuff. So you can find it, you know, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Target, wherever you want. Or I almost, you know, bookshop.org support your local bookstore and stuff like that. But you could also just find more information about the [e-mail] book and make sure to also follow me at jessicaimorhouse on Instagram.

[Jason Alexander]

Lovely. Thanks so much, Jessica for having this conversation with us.

[Jen]

Thanks for having me.

[Jill]

I'm so glad that we're starting the year off with financial decisions and especially establishing that our decisions are not good or bad, but truly are just pivots in the direction of life. And it's not like you make a bad decision and it leads a bad way. You make the good decision, it leads the good way. Every decision is just a pivot slightly in one direction. And sometimes that direction can go a little bit more towards the positive side. And sometimes that decision goes a little bit more to what maybe we consider a negative side. But it's never something that's going to ruin you.

[Jason Alexander]

I also love the foundation that she laid here of the internal work that is going to help us here and the background understanding of ourselves that can support long term, solid financial decision making. I think we do love to talk about understanding ourselves, but it's so helpful to have another perspective and a fresh reminder of how important this really is. We can't just skip steps and jump to we're really good at this. There does have to be some of that introspection that happens and just want.

[Jill]

To reiterate that again. We're at the beginning of January, but it is truly these small incremental changes that will lead to big financial results and big change results. So there may be a lot of tenacity and motivation right now to make big sweeping changes to get big sweeping results. And truly, that's not where it starts. It starts with a lot of this inner work and we go, we continue to do the inner work and we're making these small incremental changes along with that work. That's what's going to get you to a really different place than you are right now, this time in 2026.

[Jason Alexander]

And some of that incremental decisions that you make could be buying her book, buying our book, Buy what you love without going broke, Buy what you love books.

[Jill]

Could be, if you wanted it to be that, that could be one of the changes.

[Jason Alexander]

Thank you all so much for being here, for listening to us, for even leaving us Reviews like this one from SewingButton listening to the backlog brings learning and laughs, they say. I have been catching up on other episodes of the show and I'm learning a lot. I always listen all the way through to the end of the show chat because I am here as much for entertainment as I am for frugal mindset shifts.

[Jill]

Sewing buttons. We don't talk about that.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah, the post show. What? Today I was on the Romance Scams episode 380 and while the episode content was kind of scary and sad, the end of the show chat about the super bowl and listening to Jen and Jill make really vague guesses about Taylor and Travis was hilarious. I feel like I've never not known most of the details of their relationship. Even though I'm not really a Swifty or a Chiefs fan, hearing two people who were so under informed about them was super refreshing. Thanks for being willing to just make guesses about random pop culture and for your lovely friendly interactions. You two are a pleasure to listen to. But I will admit the first episode when I heard Jill's scary lightning round voice, I was genuinely starving. And that's it.

[Jill]

Thank you. Me too. Thank you for listening and I've never fully recovered. If you enjoyed the show, if you enjoy the under informed anything or if you enjoy the lightning round noises, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or a comment on Spotify. And a rating on Spotify. We love reading them and they help people figure out if this show is the right move for them because it's not right for everyone in every season. And we want people to know that and not waste their time.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah. Thanks, everyone. See you next time.

[Jill]

Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. Okay, I still don't know a lot about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, but they are still together.

[Jason Alexander]

Are they? Did you just look it up or are you making that up?

[Jill]

Oh, no, I'm not making it up. I just know that.

[Jason Alexander]

Wow.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

And I'm. I'm actually. I'm truly not sure because it was so.

[Jill]

The super bowl was like a year.

[Jason Alexander]

Ago at this point, and now I'm just like, I don't know. Where are they?

[Jill]

So they are together. Travis Kelce and his brother host a podcast, and his brother has retired from football. His name is Jason.

[Jason Alexander]

Yep.

[Jill]

And they seem so nice. Like, just nice people and very secure in their masculinity. And Taylor Swift just seems like a nice person, I think.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah.

[Jill]

So. And on Black Friday, she released a book from the ERAs tour that a lot of people stood in line to get. I don't think anybody stood in line at a store for anything except at Target to get that book.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh. Because that was the only place they were selling it, wasn't it?

[Jill]

I would assume so.

[Jason Alexander]

Creating scarcity. She's no dummy.

[Jill]

She isn't.

[Jason Alexander]

Wow. That's wild.

[Jill]

Which is why people.

[Jason Alexander]

I hope people wait in line for our book.

[Jill]

Maybe I don't. I don't know. You don't need to. They don't need to. They can just preorder it. Buy what you love. Book.com.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah.

[Jill]

And get it.

[Jason Alexander]

And are we talking about this? We are making up our own book tour.

[Jill]

Oh, my gosh. Let's talk about that in the next episode.

[Jason Alexander]

Florida. We will. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jill]

Cause I gotta go pick up my kids.

[Jason Alexander]

Get it. Get it in your mind, though. If you live in Florida or eastern Pennsylvania, we will be.

[Jill]

And if you pre order, bring your book and we'll sign it.

[Matt]

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up. Well, you could use our help.

[Eric Zimmer]

That's right.

[Joel]

I'm Joel.

[Matt]

And I am Matt and we're from.

[Joel]

The how to Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general.

[Matt]

You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to how to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Eric Zimmer]

Do you want a shortcut to the best version of you? Here it is. Feed the Good Wolf I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the one you feed. Every week I talk to brilliant minds and brave souls about the art of small, small, powerful choices. Our listeners say it all.

[Jason Alexander]

This is a lifeline transformational, the best antidote to a bad mood I've ever heard.

[Eric Zimmer]

Join the pack and start feeding your best self. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Peter Tilden]

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden, and together our.

[SephiRun]

Mission on the really no really Podcast.

[Peter Tilden]

Is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like why the bathroom.

[SephiRun]

Door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum a failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[SephiRun]

$500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the Really no really Podcast.

[Peter Tilden]

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason Alexander]

Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, host of the hit podcast Family Secrets. How would you feel if, when you met your biological father for the first time, he didn't even say hello? And what if your past itself was a secret and the time had suddenly come to share that past with your child? These are just a few of the powerful and profound questions we'll be asking on our 11th season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 11 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers.

[Jen]

So that's why we created the Big.

[Kate Max]

Take from Bloomberg Podcasts to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

[Jason Alexander]

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters.

[Kate Max]

You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine.

[Jen]

A lot of this Meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC. Follow the Big Take podcast on the.

[Matt]

Iheartradio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.