Deinfluencing Back to School “Sales”

Summary

Frugal Friends Podcast: Deinfluencing Back to School “Sales”

Episode Overview Released on August 5, 2025, the Frugal Friends Podcast, hosted by Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni of Backyard Ventures, delves into the challenges of managing back-to-school expenditures in today's influencer-driven market. This episode, titled "Deinfluencing Back to School 'Sales'," explores the rising costs of school supplies and apparel, the impact of social media on consumer behavior, and actionable strategies for parents to embrace frugality without compromising their children's educational experience.

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1. Rising Back to School Expenses

Jen and Jill open the discussion by highlighting the significant increase in back-to-school spending over recent years. They reference studies by Capital One and the National Retail Federation to underscore the financial pressure on families.

• Jen (03:05): "According to Capital One, the average household budget for K to 12 back to school shopping has risen from $685 per child to $890—a 30% increase since 2018."

• Jill (02:37): "The goal was to stay under $2,000. The average of $900 for a household feels crazy because it is."

They emphasize that while the costs for essential items like clothing, paper, and pens have increased by 10-33% over five years, the overall spending driven by non-essential items pushed by influencers surpasses these necessities, leading to a "wash" when considering inflation.

2. The Influence of Social Media and Influencers

A significant portion of the episode examines how platforms like TikTok and Instagram shape parental spending habits through back-to-school hauls and influencer endorsements.

• Jen (04:04): "We've got these crazy stuff that you're seeing on social media, but then we also have the actual stuff that you need."

• Jill (24:07): "These are the things that parents are getting influenced to buy, and it really can move the needle for us in what we think is normal."

The hosts discuss the phenomenon of "hauls," where influencers showcase extensive lists of products, often leading parents to purchase items they might not need. They critique the unrealistic expectations set by these online displays, noting that much of it serves as "rage bait" to drive engagement and sales.

3. Personal Back to School Shopping Experiences

Jen and Jill share their own strategies and experiences in navigating back-to-school shopping frugally.

• Jill (09:33): "I got my kindergartner a state backpack in a pretty pink color, complete with multiple pockets and even an AirTag holder—all while staying mindful of costs."

• Jen (14:10): "The backpack is $98, the lunchbox $10, the hand sanitizer $10, and the keychains about $30, totaling $223 for extras—not including clothes or shoes."

They break down their purchases, highlighting areas where costs can be trimmed, such as reducing the number of lunchboxes and utensils. This segment serves as a practical guide for listeners to assess their own spending and identify unnecessary expenses.

4. Balancing Needs vs. Influenced Wants

The conversation delves into the psychological aspects of shopping, questioning whether purchases are truly for the child's benefit or if they cater to the parent's desire to fit societal standards.

• Jill (05:03): "Is this really for the kid or is this the parent? Is this some moving target that parents need to achieve now in order to be a good parent?"

• Jen (17:33): "It's about embracing the essentials and resisting the urge to fulfill every 'must-have' item showcased on social media."

They advocate for a mindset shift, encouraging parents to prioritize necessary items and avoid the trap of continual consumption driven by external pressures.

5. Practical Frugal Tips and Strategies

Jen and Jill provide actionable advice to help listeners minimize back-to-school expenses without sacrificing quality.

• Jen (34:21): "Take inventory of what you really need and delay additional purchases until you identify genuine needs during the school year."

• Jill (33:16): "Thrift stores offer high-quality, gently used clothing and supplies at a fraction of the cost, allowing you to save significantly."

They suggest leveraging tax-free sales events, utilizing secondhand markets, and reusing items across school years. Additionally, they recommend planning purchases based on actual needs rather than anticipated desires influenced by trends.

6. Bill of the Week: Frugal Practices in Daily Life

In the "Bill of the Week" segment, Jen shares a personal story about avoiding impulse purchases:

• Jen (39:08): "I attended a work event where I planned to spend $20 on lunch but ended up taking home extra sandwiches, effectively getting a free dinner."

This anecdote illustrates how small, mindful decisions can lead to substantial savings over time.

7. Lightning Round: School Memories

The hosts engage in a lighthearted segment where they share favorite school memories, contrasting nostalgic experiences with the current commercialized approach to back-to-school preparations.

• Jill (45:50): "I remember we had grids of paper for designing while the teacher read to us. Those sessions were about creativity without the consumerism."

• Jen (44:38): "My favorite college memory was staying up all night watching the sunrise at the beach, a simple yet memorable experience unrelated to shopping."

This discussion serves to remind listeners of the value of experiences over possessions, reinforcing the podcast's frugal philosophy.

8. Conclusion and Resources

The episode wraps up with endorsements of their book, "Buy What You Love Without Going Broke," and encourages listeners to adopt the frugal mindset in all aspects of life.

• Jen (47:11): "Our book provides practical strategies to understand and control your spending habits, helping you and your family live richer lives."

• Jill (48:36): "If you found value in this episode, please leave us a review on Amazon or wherever you listen. It’s free and helps us reach more frugal friends."

They emphasize the importance of community and shared experiences in fostering financial independence and responsible spending.

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Key Takeaways:

• Awareness of Rising Costs: Understanding the significant increase in back-to-school expenses helps parents make informed budgeting decisions.

• Critical Consumption: Recognizing the influence of social media and influencers can mitigate unnecessary spending driven by trends and showcase strategies to prioritize essential purchases.

• Practical Savings: Utilizing thrift stores, tax-free sales, and secondhand markets can substantially reduce back-to-school costs without compromising quality.

• Mindset Shift: Focusing on needs over wants and valuing experiences over possessions fosters a more sustainable and financially stable lifestyle.

• Community Support: Engaging with resources like the Frugal Friends Podcast and their accompanying book provides continued support and guidance for maintaining frugal habits.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen (03:05): "The average household budget for back-to-school shopping has risen from $685 per child to $890—a 30% increase since 2018."

• Jill (24:07): "Our money can quickly feel overwhelming. That's why we love tools like Monarch Money—they give us a clear financial picture."

• Jen (17:33): "It's about embracing the essentials and resisting the urge to fulfill every 'must-have' item showcased on social media."

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For more tips on saving money, embracing simplicity, and reaching financial independence, tune into future episodes of the Frugal Friends Podcast, and consider reading their book, "Buy What You Love Without Going Broke."

Transcript

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Massachusetts de influencing Back to School sales.

[Jill]

Foreign.

[Jen]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live a richer life.

[Jill]

Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

Welcome Frugal Friends. My name is Jen. My name is Jill and TikTok will lead you to believe that everyone is shopping back to school.

[Jill]

Even if you're not going back to school. It's like time to shop. Time to get your stuff. Back to school haul kindergarten edition my 4 year old decided to preschool for.

[Jen]

The first time and we went back to school clothes shopping today. So let's do a haul. Everything I got my 7 year old for back to school so far. Let's organize it all and be for.

[Jill]

More things coming all our back to school haul.

[Jen]

First I'm going to start off with the little Uggs we got. Look at how cute.

[Jill]

This year we spent 794.99 on back.

[Jen]

To school shoes for our seven kids. Hey y' all baby. School is back in session and y'.

[Jill]

All know I be balling on a budget so let's get into this haul.

[Jen]

The goal was to stay under $2,000. According to Capital One, the average household budget for K to 12 back to school shopping has risen from $685 per child to $890. Well that was per household, so 685 to 890. That is a 30% increase since 2018 since pre pandemic. And a similar study by the National Retail Federation also reported an increase from 6. 97 to 8 89. And the per child average was 600.

[Jill]

And that's just on some of the necessities. That doesn't even include all of the extras that influencers are trying to get you to think you have to buy. My daughter starts kindergarten tomorrow. So here's how I'm setting up the night before my son is also headed to preschool. I got these name labels from Amazon that are waterproof that I'm just sticking on all of their gear. I went traditional on their first day of school outfit so I'm just setting those out as well. How cute are these little first day of school flags? I'll hold in pictures. I got Libby this first day of kindergarten book and both of my kids these personalized signs. I got these little inflatable pencils. I thought they'd make cute props. It always helps having everything laid out in one place so that we're ready for the morning. I got this cute first day of school yard sign that my kids will take pictures with. I wanted to make first day of school breakfast really special. So I set up this station with a balloon garland. I also attached ABC letter balloons by using this hack with a 260 balloon and tape. I also thought it would be fun to add these jumbo inflatable crayons. I added some back to school placemats, plates and these crayon napkins. I also gave them just a little surprise with some candy gummies in these apple containers. I added a little sign and hopefully they love it when they see it when they wake up.

[Jen]

The the video started out well and I think it made me like think of when we were doing the de influencing kids stuff video where the parents are like I want to create core memories and something like this. Like the first three things in the video were like, yes, core memories. Setting out everybody's stuff. And then it just kept going.

[Jill]

That went all the rails from there.

[Jen]

The full video.

[Jill]

Wow.

[Jen]

It was the yard sign for me.

[Jill]

The yard sign was wild. I think some of the other things. Yeah, people do that. The flags. It was actually the blow up pencils for me where I'm thinking what props for what are they doing a skit.

[Jen]

That was the only prop one that I saw. I saw videos of like easy affordable DIY for your first day of School props. And I was like, I'll give you an easy, affordable diy. Don't do props.

[Jill]

I'm so conflicted with stuff like this because it does look so cool. And I've got to imagine that you would feel so special as a kid. Like, I remember growing up, my mom would put streamers on our bedroom door for our birthdays. And so waking up and opening the door, you, like, run into streamers, and then you have a special plate for pancakes and those things. I do remember that. I felt so special. And this is another way to make your child feel special. But then the other side of me feels like, is this really for the kid or is this the parent? Is this some moving target that parents need to achieve now in order to be a good parent? And so it's not just the standard of what I have to do with my time at Energy, it's what I have to do with my money. I've got to buy a balloon arch and blow it up and give them special treats for the first day of school. Yeah. And have props and have yard signs. And again, it's. I can. I feel the pull to it of that looks so fun how special the kid's going to feel so great. But then you're setting the standard not only for other people, but for yourself every year now you. This is what you've got to do, and probably better.

[Jen]

So we've got this crazy stuff that you're seeing on social media, but then we also have the actual stuff that you need. Clothing, paper, pens. The costs for these things have risen. So the costs for stuff like paper pens, backpacks have jumped from 10 to 33% in the last five years. So when you actually do take into account overall that 10 to 33%, you're not seeing that much of an increase with inflation. If the cost people are spending are 30% and inflation for the necessities is 10 to 33%, you're kind of at a, you know, kind of at a wash. So it is a lot of this extra stuff. And $600 per kid is still crazy. And there's. There are a lot of ways that you can bring it down. We're gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about how much more we're spending now than maybe our parents did in the 90s. And should we be. Should we not be? That's a question, too. But that's what we're gonna get into in this episode.

[Jill]

But first, this episode is brought to you by stretchy book covers. You know, the Kind the stuff all the cool kids had to protect their books in. Protect psychedelic prints, very much animal prints, solid colors, pictures of food, graffiti, maybe even some camouflage for some of the rebellious ones. And the rest of us just used old paper bags and duct tape and our own dried out markers and creativity to make our own book protections. Now books don't exist, but spreadsheets do. Digitally. And if you want to be a cool kid with a cool protector for your spending and budgeting, you should definitely get our spending planner spreadsheet. It's got everything you need to stay on track with your money throughout the year, including monthly budget tabs, an annual overview opportunity, cost calculators so much more. Plus it is beautiful. It's not animal print, but it is some fun colors. And you just are really gonna wanna be in your budget and spending planning. And your mom can't tell you that you can't afford it. Okay. Cause you're an adult now and so this is your equivalent of the stretchy book covers. Frugalfriendspodcast.com budget. Get it.

[Jen]

And it's mobile optimized. Cause everybody's books are on their phones now. So the spreadsheet's gotta be mobile optimized.

[Jill]

We know you're not gonna pull out your laptop to be in your finances if you're bus go person. You just want to be able to have it on your phone and this allows you to do that.

[Jen]

All right, so let's talk about our experiences in back to school shopping. So I a bit of an anomaly. I was an only child and a nerd, so I was pretty spoiled at this time of year. Birthday, whatever, Christmas. Okay. Back to school though was like my.

[Jill]

Time they invested in you. They were like, we are getting her the T111 Texas instruments calculator.

[Jen]

I did.

[Jill]

Even though this is kindergarten.

[Jen]

Well, no, I had to have one for calculus and other classes, but I did get it used. But I did have one of those. I had all the things. I didn't have good style, so didn't spend a lot on clothes because I didn't know how to dress.

[Jill]

Nobody did. It was, it was the 90s.

[Jen]

I mean some kids did. Even if it wasn't even. It's not considered cool now. Yeah, like it was cool though.

[Jill]

But look at you now.

[Jen]

But look at me.

[Jill]

Look at how you dress now.

[Jen]

Look at me in my, my shirt that somebody gave to my mother in law and my mother in law didn't want it and so she's like, hey Jen, you want this shirt? And I'm like, heck, yeah. I want this crime junkie podcast shirt that looks so grunge.

[Jill]

It's so cool.

[Jen]

I, I mean, I, I made it, right? Like, I didn't have it in high school, but I've got it now in spades. So I had like the new backpack, the new shoes, and all the supplies every year. But my parents did not do anything special for me for anything. Like, I didn't get special plates or special like streamers or anything. There was nothing extra. It was only like, we're getting you everything on the list. And the only way you can find the list is kind of like making it up in your head. Maybe you'll get lucky and you'll find the list in an online forum. Because we didn't. Google was not established. Not every teacher. There weren't like lists. Sometimes you'd find a list in Walmart, like just a general list. Right. But all the teachers didn't have them. But I got everything on the list and that was the highlight of my life.

[Jill]

I do remember having lists that our teachers would send to us. And I remember not getting everything on the list for sure. It was, what does my sister have that she can hand down to me? What do we have lying around the house? And then what are the bare necessities that we are purchasing? And then we are getting lowest tier. You need folders, we're getting you the 50 cent ones. You need a notebook. Probably not. We have scrap paper. And you know what? I do respect that now. I respect that at the time I'm like, I wanted all the erasers and the sticky notes and the highlighters, but most of the times the school didn't even allow that. They're like, we only want blue or black pen. We only want this type of pencil. They didn't even allow you to utilize the more fancy, cool stuff. They didn't want you to have fun pens because they said they were too distracting. Yeah, they're like, at this school, we're pumping out factory workers, not kids who want fidget spinners. They didn't exist then, but yeah, equivalent of them.

[Jen]

So. But now we have social media and now we, we have lists. But you don't even need lists because we have hauls. Like this one quick rundown of everything.

[Jill]

I got my kindergartner for school starting off with our state backpack in this really pretty metallic pink color pocket in the front for not one, but two water bottles. Tassels make it so much fun and add stuff. Not to mention, this is the cane backpack. Ages 4 to 8. Inside we have a folder pocket, another pocket, another pocket, keychain holder and a place to put an air tag. Got this pretty pink glitter lunchbox off of Amazon. The ones we had wouldn't fit her omnibus. Grab this patent jack one from Target. When I also got the matching water bottle and utensils, we did headphones. So I thought these would be perfect. Nothing crazy or distracting. Of course, she had to decorate her pencil box front and back. Gave her this little cup for her erasers. These are the type of pencils required. Got the mommy and baby glue Expo markers were on the list, but I'm not sure if they're for her. The teacher got this pretty pink composition notebook. You would know what those codes are for. We got the purple and pink folder and then I got this AMI box from TikTok Shop when they were having the back to school sale. 30% off. A way to send her in with hot Lux. I got these last year and we loved them. Waiting on two more in the mail. I ordered the little dip containers as well. The matching water bottle and utensils. This one came with little chopsticks. Grabbed this little set from Walmart for a dollar along with the waterproof stick. Cute little set was on clearance at Walmart for $2. Grab this Gatorade bottle off the TikTok shop. $15, baby. And that's pretty much it. What do you think?

[Jen]

That's pretty much it. You're welcome for speeding it up. I took the liberty of looking for all the things in this haul and pricing them so you don't have to.

[Jill]

Yeah, you really did.

[Jen]

Yeah. So. All right, so this backpack for 4 to 8 year olds is $98. That I. I'm glad she said 4 to 8 year olds because there's the next size up for regular kids, I guess. I don't know.

[Jill]

I mean nine older.

[Jen]

Nine up is 120 for the same backpack. The first lunchbox is 22. The second lunchbox is 10. The AMI box to put inside the lunchbox is 50. But she did say she got it on sale for 35. The water bottle and utensils is 13. Those dearest gray containers, their name brand. They are. She got. Said she got two of them and she already had some. They are $25 each. And then the dip containers is 11. Another water bottle for 15. The headphones were 10. I really thought those were gonna be another pricey item. But the actual headphones. When my son brought home his headphones last year from kindergarten, I kid you not, the Padding was off of them.

[Jill]

Like he had chewed it.

[Jen]

No, not like he had used the. They had used them so much that it was just the plastic with the holes.

[Jill]

Like, what are kids do? I'm so out of it.

[Jen]

How are they doing their little tablets that they work on and they put their headphones on. Cause they're all on the.

[Jill]

And school provides the tablets.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

Whoa.

[Jen]

But he used those things really into the ground. So those are actually something that I might spend a little bit more money on this year. Like maybe to get ones. I don't know at what point in the year the padding came off. But they came home at the end of the year with no padding. And so the other. Another water bottle. Fifteen. I don't know. I said that there were some things that I couldn't even get. She went so fast, so I just added $20. And then in the comment, she said, I also got this pack of lunch note cards, which I looked on Amazon there for about 10. So total for kindergarten, not including clothes or shoes or a lot of the other school supplies that I'm sure are going to be on the list that will get sent home. $286.

[Jill]

Yeah, just.

[Jen]

Just for those extra. Like, a lot of the things that are extra that are bringing up the cost for school.

[Jill]

Well, and something that stands out to me here is there's multiple lunch boxes, there's multiple cups, there's multiple utensils, at least three sets of utensils. So if you want to look at paring down, just do one of each and wash the things. But also, this doesn't have to be the standard. Again, the question that keeps coming up for me with these videos is, who is this for? Is it for the child or is it for the parent? Like, what. What is this doing for the parent to be able to send a kid off like this? Does it make a person feel like you're doing a better job? Does it. Is it just the dopamine rush? Like, well, I'm not buying for myself, so I'll buy for them. And the justifications are easier.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

There's something deeper happening here.

[Jen]

And I also think, like, part. Part of buying the multiples is you don't want to do, like, dishes every night, and I know I don't. So I looked into one of these bento boxes and realized that if I took everything out of its packaging every day for lunch, I would have one extra thing to wash every night. So then if I wanted to keep this up, I probably would have to get Another one. Because I wouldn't wash it every night.

[Jill]

But it keeps down clutter too. Like, you have to pack a lunch every night, so why not rinse it out, repack? And that's just your routine.

[Jen]

But I'm using now, like prepackaged stuff that I don't have to ruin. And I'll be honest. Like, he uses the same water bottle every day. I wash it on the weekends. And then the same for his sandwich bag. I have a reusable sandwich bag and we use that sandwich bag every day. And I wash on the weekends because, I mean, it's a sandwich. It's not like if something gets out on the bat, like the bag, I'll rinse it off or wipe it off. But he's taking the same sandwich every day. So here's. Here's another one. Ever check your bank account and think, how did I spend that much again? It's so easy to lose track between takeout and impulse buys just to avoid that toddler tantrum at the store. It can really add up, right?

[Jill]

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[Jen]

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[Jill]

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[Jen]

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[Jill]

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[Jen]

I want to, I want to reiterate, this girl is going into kindergarten and keychains that are so very Special to the 5 year old and how she can't live without her chapstick and the hand sanitizer. This has been a reoccurring theme in all of these, like pack my purse with me, pack my back to school bag, pack my car emergency kit, all of these, they all have the same Touchland hand sanitizer.

[Jill]

So we need to buy stock in Touchland in Touchland.

[Jen]

Okay, so I also priced this one out. The backpack alone is $130 for a 5 year old lunchbox was 20 hand sanitizer. That Touchland hand sanitizer for that tiny little thing is $10. Yeah, chapstick is 10. The Stanley was 23, but she did say she got it on sale, so I don't know what the price would be. Well, I think maybe 23 was the on sale price that I got, not sure. And then all the keychains, they look to be probably about 30 bucks for all those keychains. So we're looking at a possible total of $223, not including any school supplies, not including clothes, not including shoes, which for a child of that age, that's probably the most important part to take advantage of back to school sales because they grow fast. So they will outgrow their clothes. They're not out going to grow outgrow a backpack unless you're getting the backpack for four to eight year olds and your kid turns nine and then they have outgrown their backpack.

[Jill]

Yeah, that's what's wild to me is that this isn't even including some of the things that are essentials when kids are outgrowing their shoes and clothing. And those are the things you do need to be spending money on. And obviously these are really extreme examples. But I think when we are being fed extremes constantly, whether in looking at those around us or on Instagram, and so much of this is coming From Instagram and TikTok, it really can move the needle for us in what we think is normal, that these are the things that I should be getting for my kid. My kid's gonna go to school and this is gonna be what everybody else is showing up with. So I might not be able to do all of those things, but I should probably do at least two to three of them so that they can feel normal.

[Jen]

That's socialized with these halls on any, in any area, whether it's the purse or the clothes or the back to school. And they're showing 50 items in their haul. They don't expect anyone to go out and buy 50 items. A bit of it is rage bait. People are like, how can you buy a kindergarten or $130 backpack? Right? And so people comment that and it pushes the, pushes it out in the algorithm. So part of it is clickbait, part a rage bait. Part of it is they don't expect any one person to go out and buy all 50 items, but 50 people will go out and buy one item and they will get a commission off of that. It moves the needle in what is normal. And 900, an average of $900 for a household for back to school feels crazy because it is. So if we are comparing. So yes, over the last couple years with inflation, the actual number of items people have been buying has not really increased. But if we take it back to when we were going to school and this isn't. We're not even talking about technology. Like there was no technology when we were going to school. So we're not even going to compare today with the tech people are buying, we're just talking about what we can compare evenly. The National Retail Federation started tracking back to school spending in 2003. And in that year the average was $450 per household. So with child per child. So in Today's dollars, that is 750, 740. And so we are literally spending 150 extra dollars per year than our parents.

[Jill]

Spent on us, which does communicate to us that we are consuming more and more every single year. And it's so slight that it doesn't feel that harmful. Like we don't even know how much it is increasing. We don't even know the impact of viewing all of this on social media, seeing the halls, what other people are getting for their kids and how much it's influencing our own spending decisions. And it's one thing, you know, if you only spending an extra $150 a year, that's $2,000 over the course of 13 years of school per child. So that's not huge. But when you were, if you were to factor in this type of small incremental increase, the moving target over the span of vacations, holidays, birthdays, even monthly expenses like your groceries, eating out, subscriptions, kids clothing, kids sports, adult clothing, everything is just being pushed a little more, a little more, a little more. And so yeah, it's not just back to school, but it's all of these other things. And so we're talking thousands and thousands of dollars.

[Jen]

Yeah, this one creator had a video that really hit this concept home for us.

[C]

What I like to call the back to school concept of shopping is something that I've tried really hard to unlearn. And I'm going to explain why every other fashion obsessed best girl, I would wait all summer for back to school shopping and I would get so excited to go and buy things for the new school year and I would shop for this sort of imagined situation. So let's say I was going into ninth grade. I would shop for what I thought ninth grade would be, what I thought I would need for ninth grade and who I thought I would be in ninth grade. But what would always happen is that I would kind of get it wrong because I hadn't been in ninth grade yet. I didn't know what ninth grade me would want to wear. I didn't really know what 9th grade was all about. So as a result, I would get the wrong thing. And I feel like this back to school way of shopping has permeated everything. So for example, it's Going to be spring soon. So everybody is shopping for spring. There are articles and there are tiktoks that say these are all the things that you need for spring, or these are the spring trends, or these are what our editors are buying for the spring. I haven't yet lived any spring 2024, so I'm not sure what my go tos are going to be. Now I know what I wore last spring and I think that that's really helpful information. But I always find that it's great to live a little bit in the, in the context and in the situation before you start shopping and buying a bunch of stuff. Allison me in March 2024 now keeps putting white jeans in her cart. Because in my mind I'm like, ooh, spring is coming. I think I'm gonna want to wear like some white jeans and some light colors. But then I think like, I haven't. I live in la. I haven't really worn white jeans in months. I didn't really wear white jeans last year. Like, why am I sort of stocking up on this thing that I imagine myself wearing when I don't even know what I'm gonna want to wear? I also know that I want to wear some flowy kind of Chloe esque blouses this spring, but I have some my wardrobe, I don't really wear them. I don't really think I need to again, stock up on that just because it's what I imagine myself wearing in spring. So my advice is to not really fall for that back to school kind of shopping. I think you need to live a little bit, Wait a month, wait two months, figure out what you are wearing all the time and then fill in the blanks. I think that will lead to such better purchases and just better style in general.

[Jill]

I love this advice and I love how much she succinctly summarized this type.

[Jen]

Of phenomenon that happens. I felt this. Yeah, I really did feel this. Like this aspirational shopping. We don't really know who we are and we shop to become who we want to be instead of looking for who we are in the context.

[Jill]

Yeah, but there's a couple of layers here that I think are important because it's that question that I have kept pulling up. Who is this for? It's partially for the parent and partially for the child, of course. But you've also got a child with wants and needs here. Certainly when they're in kindergarten, the parent might be more the deciding factor. But I had opinions in third, fourth, fifth, obviously. Keep going up of the Things that I thought I wanted and that the parent thinks that, that you want to get for your kid or you don't want to get. And so you've got to negotiate both of those layers. But I do think that there's a coaching aspect here of parents to be able to model some of this, that if we can take on this mindset of let's get some of the essentials that the teachers are asking us to get and then let's make a list of we'll wait and see what's gonna be needed because you might change your mind and you might not want that, that article of clothing. So kind of taking the lead on those things and helping the child to determine. Okay, that I might not need to have going into school. And as a parent, I might not need to make a balloon arch for my kid to be like the aspirational person that I want to be going into this new school year. But I can relate to this. I mean, I don't have children, but for my own experiences, I recently did like a wardrobe update and I can experience this desire to like binge shop. Like let me get all of the things. But what can end up happening is that I regret those purchases. It's just I'll buy whatever they currently have. Let's say, oh, I need a white tee, but I'm shopping right now, so I better find the white tee. And I might settle for something that isn't actually going to last me that long. Isn't to going quite the cut or quality that I would have wanted. And I would have been better off getting the essentials and slowly curating and collecting over time. I really do think that we would spend less money if we didn't have this like binge shopping, back to school approach with our spending.

[Jen]

Yeah, I, I, I really do like feel this shopping, going into events and like. So we're going on a cruise this weekend with my mom and she was like, I wanna buy you all new outfits for the cruise. And I don't know if I talked about this last week on the show.

[Jill]

But I mentioned it. Yeah, it's a follow up.

[Jen]

But like we didn't. I was like, I don't really need a new outfit. And she's like, but everybody loves a new outfit, you know, and we're doing like something we've never done before together in this context. Even though we've all cruised. We've all cruised together, but we've never brought my son, my oldest son on a cruise. So this is new and so just kind of, I was like, I don't really want something new. And she like that could not compute with her because every time she does something new, she buys a new outfit for her. So it is, I think it is, has perpetuated this habit in us that we need to break.

[Jill]

Some of the implications even in some of these videos that we've watched today are that you are getting a new backpack every year. A new water bottle, a new lunchbox. What happened to your backpack goes with you for all of elementary school. Your backpack in high school is your backpack in high school. I mean, I get it that sometimes things wear out and we need to replace them.

[Jen]

You.

[Jill]

But I also think we can have this mindset of new year new refresh, new me. And so I'm just going to replace everything. And that level of consumption is not good for anybody, much less our wallets. And so I think there is permission here to reuse. But also when you do need to buy new, that this is why Facebook Marketplace and thrift stores exist. They will also have back to school sections and sales where you can get notebooks and gently used folders and sometimes brand new packages of pencils and pens and whatever it is that you need that these things can still be bought secondhand, that we can take inventory of. What new clothes do we actually need and in what way can we adjust as we go that there is not a stop on spending the day school starts. You can go and buy more things a month after school starts when you learn that. Okay, yeah, another folder would be helpful. Okay. Yes, you do need another pair of shorts, whatever it is.

[Jen]

Yeah. I think we can still embrace this desire to start the year fresh and take an inventory of the things that we really do need. So for my son going into kindergarten, he got a new backpack but not a new lunchbox. He used the lunchbox that we used for him for pre K because it was still good. But I did want to just start him off with something new. Right. We took advantage of the tax free sales which we aren't getting here in Florida. I'm not sure if that is across.

[Jill]

The country that usually every state will have a day.

[Jen]

Yeah. And Florida isn't as of July, mid July. We're not getting one this year. Who knows? We also didn't get a tax free hurricane prepared this week. But I don't know where the lower tax people are. But they're not here. So taking advantage of these sales and any tax free opportunities you have is important. Let's do that. And taking advantage of new, fresh feeling also, when you need it is important. So this year we are getting a new lunchbox because that lunchbox is broke. But his backpack is still good. So we're going to reuse the backpack. And if that backpack actually breaks midway through, we actually have the backpack he had from preschool. And it's paw patrol. And he's still in paw patrol because, you know what, he's going into first grade, so. And I know he's still into paw patrol because I tried to get rid of the. The paw patroller toy that we had, and he asked me not to when he saw it in the back of the van. So that's my backup gig.

[Jill]

Perfect.

[Jen]

But we do have to get new clothes. And so we went to the thrift store. I actually have the clothes with me in the car, but the car is such a long walk that I was gonna do like a haul for you guys, and now I'm not. Maybe I'll record it later and stitch it in. I don't know. I don't want to make any promises, but I. I went in and looked at their, you know, 50% off tags. And he needed shorts. Shorts are the biggest thing he needs. He doesn't need any shirts, so we didn't get any shirts. He doesn't need socks or underwear. We already got those. So I just got him a bunch of shorts in the next size up and. And so that's what we've got. He's got enough pants in the current size, so that's what we did. I got him one pair of shoes. I actually got him a pair of shoes at the end of the year last year. Some running shoes. And those are gonna be his new shoes for the next year. Cause those shoes, they were on sale, but they were not cheap. So that's. And that's like what we're doing. And you know what the great thing about thrift stores is, Is they do those 50% off tag sales every week. So it's like having a back to school sale every week. And even their full price stuff is the sale price at Target. So. And it's very much like I got Hurley, Quicksilver, Puma, like, good brands. And that's another thing, like having really active kids. Wanting to have really good quality clothes that are not fraying, that are not like breaking or coming apart is super important. And I guarantee you, you can find those at thrift stores. That's. That's something I hear a lot from parents, is that my kids run through clothes and they'll run through clothes faster if I get them used clothes. And that's just not true. You can find good quality stuff there and get it as needed. And then you don't get as much.

[Jill]

Do you know what else is good quality? And I'll get as much as I want. And I need. I need one a week.

[Jen]

At least one, usually two. The bill of the week. That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.

[Jill]

Maybe you paid off your mortgage.

[Jen]

Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck Bills. Buffalo Bills. Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week. Hello. I am a new fan of the.

[Jill]

POD and just found you guys recently.

[Jen]

Just binging through all the episodes to get caught up. And I do have a bill of the week to share. So I've been working on impulse by psychology and kind of relistening to some of those episodes. And I went to a work event.

[Jill]

Where it was optional to like, purchase.

[Jen]

A fancy lunch in addition to the work event. And I thought, you know, I have, you know, I'll cap this at like, 20 bucks. I'll get like a salad. I don't need to get like extra. Extra things like wine and desserts. And I can just kind of get myself a lunch and keep it under my budget. Right? And turns out the event catered with.

[Jill]

Panera and lunch was free.

[Jen]

So that was no longer a bill that I needed to pay. And instead of doing an impulse buy with like, the euphoria of that, I just took home the extra sandwiches that they had at the end. And now I have free dinner as well. So thank you guys so much. It's been a great POD to find and I look forward to listening more.

[Jill]

Yes. I love this so much. I love it when we find out that we actually get free lunch. This happens to us sometimes at our studio. We have a co working space here. And sometimes there will be leftover food from somebody doing a training. Other people's events from other people's events. And we will. We will check the kitchen pretty regularly just to see. See if there's food laying out.

[Jen]

Somebody will go, we'll. We'll come back from the bathroom and be. And with a plate.

[Jill]

And we're like, there's tacos in the kitchen. And then we just put our lunch in the fridge for the next day and eat that free lunch.

[Jen]

And Panera is so good.

[Jill]

And I also love that you took home extras because that's next level Frugal friend right there. I mean, sometimes people might judge you for it, but listen, it's better in your fridge and eventually your belly than the trash can.

[Jen]

And I'm so glad you recently found the show. We love our new listeners. We'd love. Let us know in the comments if you're a new listener or watcher, and let us know what brought you here.

[Jill]

If you have a bill that you want to share, if it has to do with getting free lunches, if it has to do with not buying your lunch, taking home leftovers from lunch, or your name is billfrugalfriendspodcast.com Bill, leave it for us. There's also a Link on our YouTube channel to leave us a bill. We love to hear it. And now it's time for the lightning round. All right.

[Jen]

Best school memory and memory at school. Not school, shopping. Because I did see a video where a mom was like, I had such great memories of shopping with my mom for back to school. And I'm like, oh, do I want shopping to be a core memory that I have with my child? Because that, like, perpetuates.

[Jill]

You don't get to decide your core memories, though.

[Jen]

Yeah. I mean, I know if it is a memory, but then I don't want to put myself in a situation where my child develops a core memory around shopping.

[Jill]

So they're going to remember what they wanted.

[Jen]

They will remember. Yeah. But you can also, like, you can take them shopping.

[Jill]

Shopping's not bad.

[Jen]

I know shopping's not bad, but I'm just saying, a school memory, not a shopping memory.

[Jill]

Okay. Okay. Just like, of all of school, like kindergarten through high school.

[Jen]

Yeah. A lot of options. Do you have any?

[Jill]

I mean, I've got tons of memories. How do I think. How do I.

[Jen]

Well, I didn't make it. I didn't really make it until high school. Make it really? Till after high school.

[Jill]

You go first. Maybe you don't.

[Jen]

I did not have a lot of friends until high school. I will be honest.

[Jill]

You could still have good memories. I've got.

[Jen]

You probably had friends.

[Jill]

I did. Of course. So did you. Don't act like you don't have friends. You have a podcast called Frugal Friends.

[Jen]

I know. Well, again, I. I made it.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And now I have in spades. Okay, so in college. I did have a lot of friends in college.

[Jill]

Oh, you're going with a college memory.

[Jen]

College is still school.

[Jill]

Okay.

[Jen]

I peaked in college. I'm just kidding. No, I didn't.

[Jill]

Favorite college memory. Is this gonna be okay for the podcast.

[Jen]

This seems like a g raping podcast. So many memories. Oh, okay. I wrote it down. You could have read it. It literally says, you could have looked down and saw the first words are in college.

[Jill]

Okay. Yeah, here we go.

[Jen]

So for homecoming week, we stayed up. My, like, the group that I was in stayed up all night making a float for the homecoming parade, and I hung out with them. I was not in the parade. I did not participate in any of the activities, but I did. I do remember, like, hanging out with everyone all night as they built this parade float. And I did not help at all.

[Jill]

I just hung out. Probably, like, gave directions.

[Jen]

I don't even think I gave directions. I was like, I'm not doing this. I don't have any say. I. It was Ghostbusters themed. I don't know why, but they also had to do a Ghostbusters skit at this event. And then the theme of the. The float was Ghostbusters. I also remember another time in college where I also stayed up all night. We would. I went to college in Orlando, so we would very often drive out to the beach to watch the sunrise, and we would stay up all night, like, on the beach at night, and then watch the sunrise and then drive home and go back, go to sleep.

[Jill]

Okay. I have so many questions, and maybe it's just one question. Clarification. So one of your favorite memories from college is staying up all night while other people built a float for a homecoming parade that you didn't attend?

[Jen]

I attended the parade.

[Jill]

Your role that you enjoyed so much.

[Jen]

My role was being up all night.

[Jill]

My role was existing, staying up all night and observing.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Jill]

I'm gonna need. I'm gonna need, like, more of a genre to pick a memory. Like, funny teacher related, friend related.

[Jen]

Jill.

[Jill]

Jill, just pick one. Related.

[Jen]

What?

[Jill]

I don't know. I just. Okay. I liked in school when the teacher would read to us and I could color.

[Jen]

I don't know.

[Jill]

That stands out to me. Wow. I remember we had grids of paper. Paper with grids on it.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jill]

And that was the thing. You would make your own designs with different markers or colored pencils. And she would read for, like, 30 minutes, and we would just listen and color our grids. I remember that.

[Jen]

That's fantastic. Great.

[Jill]

If you want more about kids stuff, we got this. Awesome. You should leave a video on de influencing kids stuff.

[Jen]

Ye. Please leave actual good school memories in the comments. Let's normalize the actual memories of school versus, like, good core memories for either our. Like, for ourselves, so that we don't pretend that we have to buy stuff to create core memories.

[Jill]

Remember the memories where we weren't purchasing things.

[Jen]

Yeah, please. So thank you so much for hanging out with us today. And thank you for leaving all of your kind comments and reviews, whether it's on the show or our book. Buy what yout Love Without Going Broke. Available wherever books are sold online and a lot of airports.

[Jill]

Okay. Yeah, I like a lot of airports.

[Jen]

A lot of airports. Check it. If you go fly somewhere, look for it.

[Jill]

Look for it and then buy it. And maybe it'll be signed because I've been traveling.

[Jen]

And only be signed by Jill though. Cause yeah, I got kids so I don't go nowhere. I'm too tired to go places. I know a lot of y' all take your kids places and I am too tired. But thank you to people like Patricia who have left reviews for the book on Amazon five stars. She says Money, Shopping and emotions. Love this book. It's a practical way to understand why you spend the way you spend. We think we do the quick fixes just for convenience, but after reading this, I set myself up for the last minute shopping or emotional shopping online. It helped me figure out what the intent was and helped me make better spending habits that my whole family was shocked to see. As I'm a reformed shopaholic. If you love shopping and are trying your best to stay on budget, this is the book to read. It also taught me it's okay to buy something that is useful or beautiful when I'm at a better financial place.

[Jill]

Oh, I love that. Yes. Thank you so much for this kind review. It is so true. Shopping is not bad. We just want to de influence overconsumption thinking. We need to spend so much to have good memories, to have fun, to experience belonging, to find ourselves.

[Jen]

Yeah, nothing you can buy is going to find your identity or personality.

[Jill]

If you want more of that messaging, definitely get this book. If you did like this book, leaving us a review on Amazon or wherever you purchased is really helpful. Also liking subscribing to the show, leaving us a review of the podcast. Any or all of these things are free ways to support us and we're so grateful.

[Jen]

Yay. Thank you. And let us know in the comments what you think of back to school and please subscribe. Love you. Bye Bye. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

[Jill]

Okay, here's a funny memory from high school that's a little bit more PG instead of G. I was in a oh environmental science class I think it was and we were. We needed to do this little project about species, I want to say. And so to underscore the lesson that day, the teacher had us go out to the parking lot and write down, like different species of cars in the parking lot. You know, like makes and models and that kind of a thing. And being that we were in high school and never really took anything that seriously, one of the categories we wrote was positive and came back in and she's like, all right, let's tally up all the different species you came across. And we had POS as one of the categories. Like, oh, wow, how many pos's did you see out there? And it was like the majority of them, you know, we were piling up. And she's like, I've never heard of that kind of car. I don't think I've ever seen. She was like a little bit out of touch and disconnected from reality. And that was very fun for the rest of us. It's just like, I don't think I've ever seen a pos. And we're like, yes, you have. You definitely have seen POS's on the road for sure.

[Jen]

Especially in high school parking lots.

[Jill]

Especially in high school parking lots. Yeah, that was fun. We didn't. We didn't really do real things in that class. In the time it takes you to actually board that flight from Group 8. Now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Yes, that Amazon, where you buy everything else. Mid tier Altitude Elite. Feel free to board now. So while you're waiting for them to make up new boarding groups, you can order your dream car and the dealer will have it ready in no time.

[Jen]

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[Jill]

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