How Marketing Manipulates You to Spend Money You Don't Have

Summary

Podcast Summary: Frugal Friends Podcast

Episode: How Marketing Manipulates You to Spend Money You Don't Have

Date: November 25, 2025
Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni (Backyard Ventures)

Episode Overview

This episode explores how marketing, especially on social media, uses psychological tactics to manipulate consumers into spending money they don’t have—often without realizing it. The hosts, Jen and Jill, discuss emotional manipulation, parasocial intimacy, authority through complexity, and false empowerment as key strategies companies and influencers use to encourage spending. Their aim is not to demonize individual creators but to give listeners the tools and awareness needed to resist subtle and persuasive marketing strategies while still enjoying online content.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Ubiquity of Emotional Manipulation in Marketing

(Starts ~02:06)

• Jen: Even with a solid budget, emotional ads and marketing tricks still lead to unplanned spending, e.g., "$87 on Amazon on things that are nowhere to be seen on said budget. And the thing is, it’s not lack of discipline, it’s by design." [02:06]
• Jill: Companies use emotion, identity, and guilt to bypass logic and encourage impulse buying. It’s not always malicious; often, influencers are repeating the strategies they see working for others. [03:32]

Memorable Quote:
"Our prefrontal cortex kind of gets hijacked by our limbic system, which is our more impulsive side." — Jill [03:32]

Host Approach:

• Focus on critiquing strategies, not people.
• Awareness, not judgment (i.e., don’t "pet the animals"—a quote from CeCe Suarez). [04:41]

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2. Parasocial Intimacy: The False Friend Effect

(06:59–15:11)

• Jill: Parasocial intimacy is strongest on social media, where followers may feel a one-sided friendship with creators and feel compelled to support them—sometimes financially.
• Jen: Influencers often share highly relatable or vulnerable content (e.g., breakups, hardships), building trust and quickly converting emotional connection into sales (via affiliate links, sponsored products, or personal courses).

Breakdown with Examples:

• Breakup Narrative:

  • Influencer shares a breakup, shows journey from sadness to self-improvement (e.g., going to the gym), and subtly integrates their fitness brand affiliate links. [12:36–15:34]
  • Jen: "Her entire brand is fitness, and she has an affiliate link for this fitness brand’s clothing. So this is kind of like, I think, the gateway most often." [13:34]

• Travel as Coping Mechanism:

  • Another influencer narrates post-breakup healing as impulsive travel, then promotes her "corporate creator academy" course. [17:55–18:38]
  • Jen’s perspective: Selling courses to people with limited disposable income—especially when using emotional triggers—can be unethical:
    "When we ourselves are struggling financially and the way we choose to earn money is to sell things that other people struggling financially will impulsively buy... that makes me feel icky." — Jen [19:47]

• The Halo Effect:

  • Jill explains how initial emotional connections make it harder for audiences to see flaws or to resist future marketing from the same influencer. [22:55]

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3. Authority Through Complexity

(26:18–34:58)

• Jen: Many influencers (especially in health/wellness) create complexity around products or routines, then sell their own "essential" solutions.

  Memorable Example:

  • An influencer criticizes factory-farmed beef, then transitions to enjoying Wendy’s burgers—blending contradictory advice for attention, promoting doubt, and positioning themselves as authority figures by "sowing doubt." [27:13–29:12]
  • Jen: "Once you have doubt, even if you hear something correct coming from that person, you already have this seed of doubt sown..." [30:43]

• Jill: Consumers often hand over critical thinking to "trusted" voices when overwhelmed:
  "Please hold my hand, walk me through it, tell me what I have to buy and do. And then we’re just down the money hole." [31:55]

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4. False Empowerment: Selling Self-Care, One Product at a Time

(35:16–44:09)

• Companies and creators market products as "empowerment," "self-care," or "self-love," conflating consumption with emotional well-being.

• Jen: Showcases a TikTok-style "self-care routine" loaded with 18 different products:
  "She mentions yoga, which actually might be the only self-care thing she mentioned..." [38:03]

• Jill: Warns that buying products does not address the emotional needs or burnout they claim to fix:
  "All of those collective 18 and 25 things don’t actually help us recover from burnout...that is not gonna hit the nail on the head when we are just consuming products." [39:08]

• The line blurs further with influencers who start with genuine, free wellness tips and progress to pushing "snacks," "gut-brain sleep supplements," and branded electrolytes, often using vague or trendy language. [40:39–42:31]

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5. Key Takeaways & Tools for Listeners

(44:09–44:32)

• Not all influencer or affiliate marketing is inherently bad—what matters is awareness. Buy with intention, not manipulation.
• The most effective self-care and empowerment is often free or low cost.
• Train yourself to spot when complex advice is designed to sell, not inform.
• Detach emotions from purchases and re-engage your "prefrontal cortex" before spending.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "No matter how good my budget is...I can still find myself on Amazon spending $87 on things that are nowhere to be seen on said budget. It’s not lack of discipline, it’s by design."
  — Jen [02:06]

• "Our rule is that when we critique this stuff, we critique information and ideas and not people."
  — Jen [04:41]

• "Parasocial intimacy...We feel this connection. We think, I should buy from them and trust everything that they say."
  — Jill [06:59]

• "If you’re going through a breakup...seeing something like this can trigger you to be like, oh my gosh, I want to get my health together...which is great—"
  — Jen [15:11]

• "The halo effect...Our first impression can buffer against any potentially negative experiences in the future."
  — Jill [22:55]

• "Please hold my hand, walk me through it, tell me what I have to buy and do. And then we’re just down the money hole."
  — Jill [31:55]

• "Self care isn’t consuming a bunch of beauty products...They don’t actually help us emotionally when we’ve had a really rough day at work."
  — Jill [39:08]

• "It’s not necessarily bad to buy something through somebody’s affiliate link, but you should be aware...there are far better ways to invest in yourself than by buying a product or service."
  — Jen [43:26]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:22 – Ads and sponsorship mentions (skipped for summary)
• 02:06 – Why we buy things not in our budget
• 03:32 – How emotions override logic in purchase decisions
• 06:59 – Parasocial intimacy and emotional manipulation on social media
• 12:36–15:34 – Example: Using breakup narratives to build trust and sell fitness products
• 17:55–18:38 – Example: Travel as post-breakup healing leading to course sales
• 19:47 – Is it ethical to sell courses/products to struggling people?
• 22:55 – The halo effect and its impact
• 26:18 – Authority through complexity (wellness influencer example)
• 30:43 – Sowing doubt to create trust and dependency
• 31:55 – Why consumers are drawn to complex marketing
• 35:16–39:59 – False empowerment: self-care routines turned into consumption sprees
• 42:31 – Vague language becomes a tool for selling
• 44:09 – Final thoughts on conscious consumption

---

Lightning Round

[49:46–53:59]

• Hosts share recent moments of being "influenced" into purchases (running gear, beauty tools).
• Jill: "I am mostly influenced in person...but last year I got dermaplaning razors thinking that would make my complexion better."
• Jen: Pumpkin spice gel for long runs ("If you are the combination of all three of those things and the stars align, let me influence you"). [51:27]

---

Final Thoughts

• Use these psychological insights not to stop consuming content, but to engage with it more safely and intentionally.
• Practice critical thinking, especially when products are tied to your emotional needs or when influencers blur the line between real connection and marketing.
• The power to control your spending amid the noise of influencer marketing lies in awareness and reflection.

---

Transcript

[Jill]

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[Jill]

And live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

No matter how good my budget is and how committed I am to stick to it, I can still find myself on Amazon spending $87 on things that are nowhere to be seen on said budget. And the thing is, it's not lack of of discipline, it's by design.

[Jill]

We're breaking down exactly how marketing psychology manipulates you and how companies use things like emotion, identity, and even guilt to encourage you to buy things you don't need with money you don't have.

[Jen]

Welcome Frugal Friends, I'm Jen.

[Jill]

I'm Jill.

[Jen]

And we know everything on social media is an ad. This is not a new thing. So creators have to get more and more creative with how they sell us stuff. And Jill and I were having this conversation before we hit record of this is such a nuanced topic. It is truly a conversation of how do we support people that we enjoy making money on social media and communicate that that's not inherently bad, but also protect ourselves from strategies that have become so normalized. People are not using them maliciously. People may not even know they're using them. So how do we protect ourselves in that?

[Jill]

There's so many psychological marketing strategies that are happening. And like you're saying, I don't think even everybody knows the emotional manipulation that's happening. I think a lot of times it's just regurgitating the other types ads that we see other people are doing it. This is how they're having success. I know that this is what builds trust with people. So I don't think that it's that it is malicious or super insidious, but it can cause us to again spend money that we would not have otherwise have spent. And a lot of this happens because of some of those social engineering tactics where they really play on emotions. And when our emotions are involved, it can really decrease some of our logical thinking. Our prefrontal cortex kind of gets hijacked by our limbic system, which is our more impulsive side. And so we're susceptible to maybe performing actions or doing different things, buying things that our logical brain might not have. But because we feel this emotional connection to whoever it is that's selling to us. Commercials. Big companies do this and social media influencers do this.

[Jen]

Yeah, but we could be here for two to three hours talking about all the ways we could see this. So if you like this episode, let us know in the comments if you want to see like a part 2, 3, 10. Because there are countless ways and we're really going to cover just like one, which is emotional manipulation. And a couple of the ways that we, we see that, we see it in a ton of ways. But yeah, we only have time to cover three today. So definitely let us know if you would like 10 parts on this. And we wanna preface this when we talk about this. Emotional manipulation is what it's called. But our rule is that when we critique this stuff, we critique information and ideas and not people. So we may show people, we will show people, but this is not permission for anybod to like berate Them or talk poorly about these people. They are people trying to make a living or a career or a business in a way that is possible right now and has never been possible before in, like, the history of man. And so people are still figuring it out. And so we do not want to. This is not a petting zoo. Like, don't go and, like, you know, pet the animals. CeCe Suarez says that she's like, this is not a petting zoo. Don't go touch the poop. But, like, we honestly are not covering bad people. We just want to make you aware. And it's very easy to give extreme examples, but extreme examples are not usually the ways that we are kind of encouraged to spend money that we don't have. And that's really what we want to cover. Like, an extreme example is cute to laugh at or to, like, you know, poke fun at. Ultimately, we want you to leave this episode with a larger perspective on the things that you're looking at so that you can not stop consuming social media, but just consume it in a safer way. And so, yeah, we do not critique people, and we don't think you should either.

[Jill]

Yeah. It doesn't mean that we can't continue to follow these people or even buy from them. I think it's just really important to know what is the marketing that's happening here? How am I being sold to, and am I certain that I'm making the best financial spending decision for myself? Or am I only doing this because some of this emotional manipulation has happened? So under that category, our first one is parasocial intimacy. And this. Nowhere is this truer than on social media. Yes, we don't have parasocial intimacy with the shows that we watch, with the commercials that we see. There's emotional manipulation happening, for sure, but feeling as though this person is my friend, they get me and I get them, and we've got this back and forth, and they need me to support them, and I should buy from them and I should trust everything that they say. That's social media.

[Jen]

Yeah. And it's like, it gets you because you, like, you see yourself in that person, or maybe you see a younger version of yourself and that person, or maybe you're just entertained by them. You love their sense of humor. Like, maybe nobody in your circle gets you gets your sense of humor, but, like, this person on the Internet does, and you feel this connection. And so those are some of the ways it pops up. And when we talk about emotional manipulation, we're talking about all emotions, and so there can be these positive ones. But then there could also, I'm sure you've seen it a lot of negative ones. We've all seen rage bait. And so that's a really big one to get views if you, if you're a views driven creator and if you're profiting on the number of people watching something. Rage and anger is the emotion that can really get people watching. But that's not the way every creator chooses to monetize. It's a much better strategy to target other emotions that will create trust. And, and then you just have like a broader scope to sell from. And so I think if we can, if I can find one that's kind of in the middle, that's not rage bait, but that's also like not totally like love bombing positive emotion. I think in the middle we have this trend of trauma dumping where people are coming on social media and they are connecting with people primarily through sharing hardship and then ultimately through coming through that hardship, which I would love to get your perspective as LCSW about. Like there is this mental health aspect to it, but it's this powerful marketing tool where you can relate to people in their vulnerabilities, in their insecurities and their past traumas and you can connect with them that way and build trust really quickly and then immediately go around in your success and in your coming through of trauma and start selling to people.

[Jill]

Yeah, I mean I think we've got a good example of this to even be able to talk about. And it's such a tricky rope to walk because there is so much to be said for group therapy where we are able to find others who have similar experiences. I mean there's a lot of research that can indicate that group therapy sometimes, sometimes has better outcomes than just like talk therapy or one on one. And I think sometimes social media can almost act as that replacement where we feel seen, as you've already mentioned, by somebody else who has a similar experience. Maybe we've not found anyone in our community or we've not gone out to find some sort of group that is safe to be able to talk about those things. And I think everybody is allowed to share their own experiences in whatever way they want to share them. And so many find it helpful. I know people find it helpful, helpful to hear our personal experiences of debt payoff and money. And we've been vulnerable in different ways to be able to help and encourage other people. So there is a place for that. But I think it can become a little bit dangerous or non beneficial when the influencer hasn't totally established their own version of safety and boundaries. I think there's a difference between exposure versus disclosure. Disclosure kind of being the safer option once we kind of decide who gets to know this, who doesn't get to know this, what's okay, what's not okay, degree of healing or growth have I experienced post this, whatever happened versus I'm just going out there. Here's my raw, vulnerable. I don't even know what's going to happen on the other side. I'm just kind of jumping off a cliff. And who knows how people are going to receive that, how they're going to respond. So there's a danger for the influencer there too. But I think for the person receiving it, thinking this is normal, to just kind of blast out there for anyone and everyone. Some of the deep griefs that I'm navigating. And so there's this interesting dynamic that's happening there. I can't put a blanket. This is bad. This is good on it. I just think there's some awarenesses that we need to have with it and what we're participating in and what that can lead to. I think some of these people might just go on just for the connection. But then when it's I'm doing this connection so that then later on I'm gonna sell you.

[Jen]

Or they're already like a micro influencer and they go through something that is traumatic and they're like, oh, great, I can share this. And this will get a ton of views and it'll go viral. And I think we see that. The thing I think most people can relate to is going through a breakup. So we see this trend of influencers whenever they go through a breakup, sharing it on social media. And we have a couple examples. So this first one I'll walk you through because it's got all copywritten music, but she is essentially detailing her first week of her breakup. And she's crying on the couch and in the shower and she's talking on her phone and like the way that everybody feels in the first week of their breakup. And then slowly kind of getting back online, brushing your teeth, going to work out, singing in the car. And then her next reel is move on. It says, you're literally someone else's dream girl. And so we're coming out of this. And the funny thing is it looks like this is in Tampa task, right? And then one of her next later reels is an ad for a fitness clothing brand. And so you'll see in both of those if you're watching on YouTube, you see in both of those previous reels, there's always fitness. There is fitness always in each reel, even in the breakup reel. In her first week, she started going back to the gym and the next one is move on and then start working out. And you'll see that this creator's entire brand is fitness. And she is has an affiliate link for this fitness brand's clothing. So we see this is kind of like, I think the gateway most often. Kind of like what you would see in this cycle.

[Jill]

Yeah. And I think it's recognizing that this person has a brand. Right. They are trying to build a business. And there's nothing wrong with that in my estimation. But to recognize that some of what is happening here is meant to have you trust the person like them, believe that you've got something in common with them, want to be like them, and really sets the tone even more for you to end up buying from them.

[Jen]

Yeah. Like if you're going through a breakup or if you have been through a breakup and you didn't come out on the other side like you feel like you should have, seeing something like this can trigger to be like, oh my gosh, I want to get my health together and, you know, start working out again. Which that is great.

[Jill]

Yeah, I must need to buy her outfit.

[Jen]

And that would be the thing. If you don't have the money for that would make it unhealthy for the consumer in spending money that you don't have. And this. And this creator was right. This video did go viral of her breakup and so she, I'm sure, got a lot more followers from that. So this next breakup video does have sound and so you will be able to hear it.

[Jill]

Going through a gut wrenching breakup was definitely not on my bucket list this year. But you know the saying, man plans God laughs. Yeah, well, that's me right now. Even through all the pain, I've learned that the scariest thing isn't about losing someone else, it's about losing yourself in the process. And this kind of pain always leads to some of the biggest breakthroughs, even if it doesn't feel like it at first.

[Jen]

So that video was actually longer, but it has some copywritten music in it. So hopefully we'll be able to share and hopefully it won't just like look like we're staring at our computers in silence for 20 seconds. We'll see. But if it is, that's why. But okay, so looking at that, what do you think her brand is about? Having only that breakup video as context.

[Jill]

Mental health. I don't know. Am I answering this wrong?

[Jen]

Look at the video. I mean, think about the video.

[Jill]

Yeah, I don't know. What do you want me to say?

[Jen]

Travel. Okay, so if you're. Look, if you're listening and not watching, the whole video essentially is her. You know, she's got the crying part and then immediately transitions into packing. Airport plane landing. So it's a travel and it is much longer. She ended up taking an impulsive trip to Bali with her.

[Jill]

This is the same girl who we saw before.

[Jen]

No, this is a different girl. This is a different girl. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Okay.

[Jill]

I thought it was the same.

[Jen]

Not all girls look alike, Jill.

[Jill]

Their voices sounded similar.

[Jen]

They are different.

[Jill]

Looked similar. Okay.

[Jen]

And so this was. I'm not sure.

[Jill]

Everyone's just breaking up, I guess on.

[Jen]

The Internet it is a trend when an influencer goes through a breakup. Then you do a video like this. Yes. And so then this is another video on her profile as well.

[Jill]

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[Jen]

So she sells a course essentially on how you can be a full time content creator. And she built her content platform on pretty much travel. And she was right that that breakup video did very well. And it's one of the top breakup views if I found it. Because, like, that is just what I search for. I just search breakup, you know, so it did well and that's her shtick. And so again, I mean, so I have. I'm a smidge jaded by the premise of influencing in general. I think the. And this is like my own bias, this is maybe my own, like, I don't know, insecurities, but this does not have to Be a general consensus. I don't think I'm right by any means, but I just think the idea of selling courses and products to people in the socioeconomic bracket that people are targeting, I think it's a little. And I think it's a little negative, I think negatively of it. I think it's okay to sell to people that have disposable income. And usually that's businesses, I think, like B2B creators. That's fantastic. Like you're selling a business service to a business that needs it. Fantastic. Or you're selling maybe a necessary service or a necessary product to somebody who needs it, who will spend money on it, like those things. But when we're selling, when we ourselves are struggling financially and the way we choose to earn money is to sell things that other people struggling financially will impulsively buy, and we're using tactics proven to disarm people from their rational decision making and make them more prone to impulsive decisions. That's how we're choosing to make our money. That makes me feel icky. Yeah.

[Jill]

I don't totally disagree, but I think I would add some nuances to what you're describing. First of all, I think we are all responsible for our own spending decisions, which I think is one of the reasons why we are doing so many of these series to help people understand what is the spending decision that you're making and are you fully armed in it. But for me, I think I would almost rather see somebody put out their own product than be hawking other products that people might not need and just kind of enhancing is consumerism. I don't hate the idea of here's a course that I created to teach you something. And if you like my style of teaching, here it is. What gets me is a little bit more adjacent where somebody is saying, I can teach you to do these things when it's not actually realistic for them. When you're the outlier, you might have gone from corporate to creator, but is it truly something that the masses who are following you could actually attain? Or are you just going to make the money on the backs of these people who think it's possible for them? Or is your course. My main.

[Jen]

Is your course teaching people how to sell courses to other people who don't need who. Who. You're just making courses and selling courses and sell courses and it's an mlm. You are selling your own MLM guide and it's wild and it's hard to tell the difference. Even creators that you fully know like and Trust doesn't mean they're great teachers in a course format. There are so many great educators who are not great influencers, who are not great on social media and who you would not find a course if they even made it. It's the loudest people on social media that get the most followers, but that means they're good at being loud and not loud in a negative way, but in a sense of just like being good at social media.

[Jill]

Yeah, yeah. And so I think what we have happening in some cases here is that halo effect, that cognitive bias where our first impression can buffer against any potentially negative experiences in the future. If we kind of latched onto somebody while they shared something that we connected with, we're going to be more susceptible to whatever it is that they're selling or doing, less likely to kind of distance ourselves from them because of that first impression. That kind of roped us in in the beginning. And I think the takeaway in this is certainly recognizing when that's happening, but also being aware of what if it is a course or a product that they created. How likely is this to actually benefit me? Can I think, can I engage my prefrontal cortex a little more, detach my emotions from this and really dig in on is what they're saying is possible for me? What are the statistics on that? How likely is it that I too am going to amass a 1 million following while I am still working a full time job? Like, is their course really going to get me there?

[Jen]

Yeah, if I can't, like if I haven't already shown a history of commitment in the wrong way, Is the course that shows me how to do it the right way going to be the thing that puts me over the edge? And in some cases the answer is yes, but in many of the answer's no. Yeah, we've said it before. Fees are the enemy of frugality. That's why we love chime. Traditional banks sneak in maintenance fees, overdraft fees and balance requirements. But with chime, there are no monthly or maintenance fees ever.

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[Jen]

E N All right, the next one is Authority through Complexity and if you watched our Wellness Influencer video, we'll put the link in the description to that. That's what we see throughout the wellness industry. It's a multi billion dollar industry that profits off of making you believe that everything you heard is wrong, everything you've tried is wrong. And this is the magic bullet. This is the secret sauce all the way down to the food you consume. And you guys, we mentioned this in the video, this influencer and you guys like called it out in the comments immediately. So we're just going to give them some screen time in this one.

[Jill]

Come over here because this is not just grass fed grass finished beef. It's USA. USA. This ground beef is only $5 right here. This is factory farmed GMO beef. What does that mean? These cattle only eat grain hey, Bobby.

[Jen]

What would be your order at Wendy's? Let's find out.

[Jill]

Dave's double without the bunny. That's actually pretty decent. It's not bad, but me thinks I need to dip it in yield Frosty here to get the real experience. Let's see. Doesn't matter. Here are five things you definitely want to avoid if you're trying to live a healthier life. The amount of cane sugar in the grocery store is astounding. I don't care if it's white cane sugar, sugar in the raw. We have to avoid it at all costs because it really adds up quickly. This is what I'm eating in New York City on my cheat day. Oh, my gosh. That's a proper croissant. Holy cow. Let's go in. That's going to be a sugar bomb right there, my friends.

[Jen]

But it's cheap day, baby. So this creator is notorious for villainizing products and ingredients and then going out and either eating them or getting brand deals that totally contradict things that he's saying.

[Jill]

I was mostly confused.

[Jen]

Yes. Right. And that's what this guy is known for, to the point where I think it's essentially a shtick. Like, you could tell, like they had a sponsored Wendy's post. And I added that little clip, the little picture on it. If you're listening, the first video was like, oh, you can't do. You could only do grass fed beef. And then he goes straight to Wendy's and he like takes off the bun because the bun is so bad. And then I was like, is Wendy's beef grass fed? And the media is like, no, it's fresh, it's not frozen, but it's not grass fed.

[Jill]

Yes.

[Jen]

And so then just going back, he like villainizes. He even had a video of this creator. Like, Liam always kind of does these mashups of him contradicting himself where he was saying like, no cane sugar. And then making this salmon that had a brown sugar glaze on it. So this is a unique. Like, I think he's doing this on purpose is why we're talking about it. But it. It kind of is an extreme example that we can laugh at. That gets to the overarching point is that many creators will intentionally contradict things that are well known to make you question something. And once you are questioning, then they have the in to redirect you into a different way of thinking. Or they can just sow doubt in your mind saying, like, okay, if you've listened to this person, like, they're wrong for this reason. And then once you have doubt, even if you hear something correct coming from that person, you already have this seed of doubt sown so that you are skeptical about them and maybe anybody else that's like them. And so this creates this false sense of trust with the creator simply through making things complex.

[Jill]

We saw this too in our Scammer Exposed, the Mystery Shopping scam episode that we did about a month back. And I think a lot of us, we do have this either conscious or subconscious awareness that we don't know it all, that there is more to be discovered, and especially in areas where there is curiosity or we do want to do improve, but yet it's such a heavy lift to do all of the research ourselves. And so when we hear somebody who kind of affirms something that we might already be thinking or starts to talk about something that we're already curious about, it's like, okay, phew, let me just hand over all of my critical thinking skills to you and let you just educate me. Please help me understand what I have to do. And especially when they sound so smart and they are making it sound so complicated, like, this is toxic, and this label on this means that XYZ is true. And if you see this, then this isn't true. And it's like, there's so much to understand. Please hold my hand, walk me through it, tell me what I have to buy and do. And then we're just down the money hole.

[Jen]

And first, our brains want to find efficient ways to process information, and they use people we trust to process that more efficiently. So that's not like stupidity or lack of discipline. That's our brain trying to function efficiently. And second, podcasters have been doing this for years, longer than influencers.

[Jill]

Gosh, are we coming at ourselves?

[Jen]

We are coming at our own industry, man. Podcasters have been over complexifying.

[Jill]

Yeah, if you think that you've been.

[Jen]

Wrong and just coming at traditional wisdom and like, some of it, like, is good to, you know, question a little bit, but it does get toxic so quickly when you just come at questioning everything. And I just like to harp back on the wellness space because we have so many unregulated supplements, powders. They're low cost. I mean, they're not that low of cost. We once got a. I mean, we get supplement companies wanting us to get, like, take their money all the time.

[Jill]

You're welcome for not taking their money.

[Jen]

There's one thing that we just across the board, we do not. One was a creatine, like, for women. You don't make creatine for women if creatine is creatine. And it was 60 bucks and, and you can get a huge bag of it on Amazon for like 20 bucks. And this little thing was 60 because it was like creatine for women packaged nicely have a hormone, something else for your hormones inside too. And I was like, no, no, no. This is angering to me. It's triggering my anger. So like shout out to bulk supplements on Amazon for your creatine. Which is literally the only thing that I have seen like over and over and over. All fitness influencers saying has scientific backing to actually like help you build muscle. But I'm not a workout person educator.

[Jill]

Yeah, no. So we're not going to try to be.

[Jen]

We're not going to try to be. All other supplements are pretty much just like superfluous. And you can come at me in the comments if I'm wrong. If there's some greens powder that changed your life, I, you know that I may be wrong but like it is just the easiest way to get people to impulse spend to make them feel insecure, to make them feel confused and like you have the answer. Yeah. And sell them a supplement.

[Jill]

Oh that, that specific packaging to a demographic and making it seem like it's more complicated than just kind of the base model.

[Jen]

Making it like this is what you've been missing.

[Jill]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jen]

Because aren't we all so stressed and wondering why aren't something I'm missing? Why aren't my efforts getting me to where I think I should be with the amount of effort I've put into them?

[Jill]

Right.

[Jen]

It's because you haven't tried my greens powder affiliate link in the bio.

[Jill]

It's because you're not budgeting how you should affiliate. No, no. Just my own personal form of greens powder. This is somewhat related to number three, which is false empowerment. And this one really gets me this, this one grinds my gears because this feels particularly manipulative by both companies and social media influencers trying to sell you something while connecting to really great ideas. Right. Of, you know, invest in yourself, value yourself. Maybe you deserve this. Like this is how you can really hedge against burnout and take time for you. And all of those things are really great and there are genuine ways to do that, but most of them don't cost money. And that's the thing, it frames the self care as empowerment. And so if you say no or if you are restraining yourself in any way, then it seems like deprivation.

[Jen]

Right. That you're. I don't know, like regressing feminine, like feminism, like going backwards. But it has turned into speaking of extremes, stuff like this. And I would love for us to play a game right now. We're going to show this video and we want everyone to count. How many products and or services do you see in this simple self care video? If you've been feeling burnt out or overwhelmed, girl, I feel you. And this self care reset is exactly what you need. First, we're going to start off with a face ice bath to help you with that puffiness. And then we're going to go straight in with some hydrating eye patches. We're all about habit stacking around here. So we're going to do my hair oiling and mask routine and let this marinate while I go to my yoga class. This is by far my favorite way to do my slick back bun, so make sure you're taking notes. But anyways, I'm a firm believer that darker brows will always make you feel better. So I'm letting these sit while I drink some lymphatic detox tea, shading my mustache and spot treating. Just a couple of stubborn pimples that.

[Jill]

Can'T seem to leave the track whereby.

[Jen]

This mask, it literally gets rid of them overnight. And I love a lip stain to bring back color into the lips, lips that will stay and that you don't have to worry about. So then taking everything off, I'm going to finish with some acne spray, hydrating moisturizer and some tinted face and tinted eye sunscreen. I love these two products because it also helps with like the redness and any discoloration that I might be experiencing. Especially right now when I have these little acne spots. Again, adding a little bit of tint to my cheeks to add some color back into my face. Especially because I'm going out and finishing off with this Cycler body spray to get rid of any of those red stubborn bumps on the back of your arms, which actually has been helping me. Let me know which one you're gonna try. I would love to know how many did you get?

[Jill]

18.

[Jen]

18, 18 self care routine products. I accounted yoga as self care.

[Jill]

Yeah, sure.

[Jen]

Which I actually do believe might be the only self care thing that she mentioned. I think it might be the only.

[Jill]

One, the only one that's like really going to do something for you.

[Jen]

So like you get these extremes and then at the end she's like, which one are you going to try? Which just, just confirms like these like hauls and elaborate shower routines and self care Routines. They don't think you're gonna buy everything, but all they need to do is have 18 products in one video in the hopes that you will buy one.

[Jill]

And I'm not gonna lie, the limp tin did stand out to me. I'm like, oh, does that work? Of the 18? Yeah. I'm gonna get like a little bit curious about one.

[Jen]

Right? Well, you know what didn't stand out to me? The lymphatic drainage green tea. It looked like a greens powder. It looked straight up like grass. But I mean, and I can drink matcha. Like, I don't hate matcha. And that's green.

[Jill]

It just is. Self care isn't consuming a bunch of beauty products. Like, it might seem that way because somebody is telling you, this is working for me. And maybe you have had your own experience of a huge haul at Sephora or Ulta, but think back to how you felt afterwards. Sure, you got the dopamine rush from all those purchases, but all of those collective 18 and 25 things don't actually help us recover from burnout. Don't actually help us to feel like we've got meaningful relationships when we are lacking a sense of belonging. They don't actually help us emotionally when we've had a really rough day at work. Like, that is not gonna hit the nail on the head when we are just consuming products.

[Jen]

Yeah. And it has normalized self care as consumerism. And so that's one extreme. But then our last example for the episode is something that's a little bit more subtle, and that is these, I would call them like self improvement, female empowerment influencers that kind of transition into taking brand work. And there's some that do it well and then some that just don't disclose. And so I'm. This one is so this one, she had a video go viral and then kept recreating that video, which is wise. That's what you're supposed to do as a social media content creator. So let's let me show you the original viral video. Things that quietly saved me going to bed earlier. Even though it felt boring, it helped me more than I realized. Catching the negative self talk before it starts to spiral. Because it's not the one running the show. When you have a mean thought about yourself, replace it with three positive ones and then repeat it until you believe it. Having the hard conversations that you want to avoid, like the ones that keep you up at night. And one of my favorite ones, going to the movies alone. No distractions, no phone, just yourself immersing yourself into a movie. It's the best. So none of this is new information. It's pretty standard, but so it went viral. So then slowly the video started to look like this. Things that quietly saved me eating every single meal. I used to think like skipping breakfast or having a really light breakfast was disciplined. Well, it's not. And now I have consistent energy throughout the day, keeping snacks on deck at all times that actually fuel me, AKA fried protein popcorn. So I'm not grabbing all the stuff I'm going to regret later. Things that have actually made me feel hotter Drinking a large glass of water before bed. So I wake up feeling hydrated. Lately I've been using chill pills, Gut brain sleep and it's a microbiome blend with probiotics for natural sleep support.

[Jill]

Here are a few tiny habits that.

[Jen]

Have been such a game changer. I've been using Elevant's electrolyte packets. There's zero sugar, packed with adaptogens and it tastes like a hibiscus spritz. Oh my God. You can mix it with sparkling water and it would actually be a spritzer.

[Jill]

We've got all of the things going on here from like parasocial intimacy to authority through complexity. Like the amount of just words, the, the trending words that were happening.

[Jen]

People, people like drag on public speakers for this. It's like they're not saying anything new, but the way they're saying it, our brain like thinks it's more important because of the cadence and the tone. And these are like, she's giving all very good tips. And I'll come from somebody who reads ads for a living, right? Like that's how we make money and that's how she's making money. And again, so we'll wrap up with the fact that it's not necessarily bad to buy something from somebody through somebody's affiliate link or buy something from an ad that you've seen from your favorite influencer, influencer or podcaster. But you should be aware of if that is being manipulated in any way. Mostly as with the the extreme like self care stuff. If empowerment is being emphasized as a product or that you can achieve some kind of. Or it's investing in yourself by buying something. There are far better ways to invest in yourself than by buying a product or service. Invest in yourself than buy the product or service if it aids you in.

[Jill]

That investment, yeah, you can care for yourself in free ways that are going to be even more effective. You can understand things that feel complex to you in a way that doesn't Cost you money. So all of these things are possible. It's not as if, oh, don't pursue these things. Just be very aware of how we're pursuing them.

[Jen]

And if you do invest in yourself in a free way or you have something like that that you wanna share, then we have a way that you can tell us directly.

[Jill]

Oh, it's the bill of the week. This is the bill about me.

[Jen]

This is the bill about me. That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.

[Jill]

Maybe you paid off your mortgage.

[Jen]

Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills. Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.

[Jill]

Hey, I just listened to your podcast on how to save money on online shopping and I managed to buy a father's day gift for $7.80.

[Jen]

I would normally have spent about $50 on this, so I'm really pleased with that particular bill. I used a combination of rocket Rakuten.

[Jill]

For cash back and I used a coupon code and I bought used and I shopped around and I used a.

[Jen]

Lot of the tools that you shared on the podcast and it was actually.

[Jill]

Kind of fun and I appreciated that.

[Jen]

It made me really think about the purchase.

[Jill]

And I use chatgpt a little bit.

[Jen]

Too, which is great for this stuff.

[Jill]

So thanks. I love your program.

[Jen]

Yes, this is fun, Julie. And right now rakuten is offering $50 cash back when you spend $50 on eligible cash back places. So for new accounts. Frugalfriendspodcast.com Rakuten R A K U T E N Yes, I used them yesterday. 100% used Rakuten yesterday. No lie.

[Jill]

Yeah, we're only gonna talk to you about the things that we use and that we truly will think will help you.

[Jen]

Like Rakuten, supporter of the show. Thank you, Rakuten, for supporting the show. And it will make your life better. Like, it's not a green powder that will change your life, but it will make your life better. If you're gonna buy your greens powder, buy through Rakuten. Oh.

[Jill]

If you want to, wherever it is, have a bill that you wanna submit. If it has to do with using Rakuten or really any of our other ads that we talk about. If any of our ads have helped you, that'd be fun to know.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah, we would. To let them know. No.

[Jill]

Yeah. If they've worked for you, how you've utilized them, how it's helped you save money. Go to frugalfriends podcast.com bill if you're a bill out here using Rakuten, then.

[Jen]

Hey, double whammy that.

[Jill]

We love that. Yeah, leave it for us.

[Jen]

We can't wait.

[Jill]

The weather is cooling down even for us Floridians, and it's making us crave coziness. And Quince delivers just that. They've got layers that last, including sweaters, outerwear and everyday essentials that feel luxurious, look timeless and make holiday dressing effortless.

[Jen]

Quint has it all, which makes them perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. And most importantly, by working directly with ethical top tier factories, Quince skips the middleman and offers prices 50% less than similar brands.

[Jill]

Their Mongolian cashmere and washable silk are closet staples. In addition to the cotton tees and linen dress I have been layering with all season, their items feel comfortable and timeless.

[Jen]

Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last. From Quince, Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to quince.com frugal for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com frugal When I was a kid, getting gifts was magic, but as an adult, it's mostly stuff I don't really want. Except for Mint Mobile's holiday deal that actually feels exciting. They're offering unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month. It's their best deal of the year and a gift I'd use every single day.

[Jill]

I made the switch because I was tired of paying way too much for the same coverage. With Mint, I get high speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network for just $15 a month. The service is just as good as my previous provider and I'm saving a ton.

[Jen]

Switching is super easy. You can bring your current phone and number over to Mint. No contracts, no nonsense, just reliable service and real savings. It's a practical gift that actually pays off.

[Jill]

So don't get them socks this year. Get them Premium Wireless for $15 a month. Shop Mint Unlimited [e-mail] Frugal that's mintmobile.com Frugal Limited time offer upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required $15 a month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only over 35 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required availability, speed and coverage vary. See mintmobile.com and now it's time for the lightning round.

[Jen]

All right, what is your most recent oh, no, I'm being influenced moment? Do you have one? I have one. I can go for it.

[Jill]

I can go off.

[Jen]

I can go off. I can go off. Okay, so this is. And this is usually how it works. It's not like just like obvious. Right. It's something that typically blurs the line of values and a little being superfluous, like on those values. So for me, it's running. Like, I love. I'm a runner. I like running. I just on Sunday did a half marathon. My one half marathon for the year. Yeah, you did, and it was great. And so I will sometimes be influenced into running stuff. And it's like one of those things. Like, I have always been a very frugal runner. And then the more running I do, the more I'm like, this would be helpful. Like, so maybe like have this product or something. So like a running vest with a water pack. I bought that for a couple runs because I was seeing them on social media everywhere.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And I got a pumpkin spice gel for on my run, which.

[Jill]

That sounds gross, but so good. Oh, wow. So good.

[Jen]

And I. Not everyone's a gel girl. And not everyone's a like a sweet gel girl.

[Jill]

PSL girl.

[Jen]

But if you are the combination of all three of those things and the stars align. Let me influence you.

[Jill]

You get no affiliate commission.

[Jen]

I get no affiliate commission from. From Goofy. But I mean goo if you want to send me some. I do use them exclusively on my. On my long runs, so.

[Jill]

Wow.

[Jen]

Yeah, I use a lot of running things.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Brands I run in Diodora and I use goo and those are amazing brand.

[Jill]

Are here with us right now. They've made it four, even five minutes.

[Jen]

Into this episode just to hear Gooder sunglasses. G O D R sunglasses.

[Jill]

Why are you bothering to spot?

[Jen]

Because I want them to hear me and I want them to send me free things. I am an influencer, Jillian.

[Jill]

Oh, my gosh, I hope not.

[Jen]

I'm trying it out.

[Jill]

I'm realizing that I am mostly influenced in person. I'm not non susceptible. Is that how you'd say that word to influencing? It just is by the people around me more so than it is online. But if I were to try to think of something online, I've probably been influenced into buying comedy show tickets when I see that they're advertised on social media.

[Jen]

No, you know what you were influenced into buying? Tell me that face thing.

[Jill]

Yeah, that was so long ago. But yeah. Yes, right?

[Jen]

Yeah, last year. She's not influenced often. Just once a year.

[Jill]

It did happen. Last year I got dermaplaning razors, thinking.

[Jen]

That'S what it is.

[Jill]

Oh yeah, that would make my complexion.

[Jen]

Is that what she was using in that video? Yeah, it was okay when she was shaving her mustache. Yeah, girls have no mustache.

[Jill]

It'll help with like, like peach fuzz. And I was like, oh, maybe that, like, I'd be curious how that is. And then I got worried. Like, when I shave my legs, sometimes I get ingrown hairs. Like, why? Why am I thinking that that wouldn't happen on my face? And so I never touched them, but I waited too long to return them. And actually they are still sitting in my closet. I don't know what to do with them.

[Jen]

If you need some dermaplaning, let us know.

[Jill]

If you dermaplane and could use these razors.

[Jen]

Yes. If it's too late for you, let us know. But thank you so much for getting to this point in the episode. Thank you for listening for watching. We love reading your comments on the YouTube videos, your ratings and reviews on Spotify and Apple podcasts. And if you have read our book Buy what yout Love Without Going broke, we love reading those reviews on Amazon. Like this one from Jessica says, one of the best personal finance books out there. Five stars. This is a simply lovely book. I've read and listened to a ton of personal finance content and Jill and Jen are among the best. This isn't the book to go to for 10 tips to save $20 this week or the best mutual fund to retire at age 50. The book presents an entire philosophy of relating to money and purchases. Instead of detailed tips, they give you a whole mindset. I was frugal and good with money before, but this is just next level. The best, best thing is that you can take on their advice. Whether you're brand new to caring about money or well along the path of frugality. Could not recommend it more highly. And their podcast is amazing as well.

[Jill]

This is a beautiful review and honestly, I love the examples.

[Jen]

What thoughtful.

[Jill]

Like Jessica, you have truly titled what could be podcast episodes or like articles. This isn't the 10 tips to save $20 this week. You are crushing it.

[Jen]

Finance books could have been an article. They could have just been an article.

[Jill]

But journalistically, I love the examples you gave of what we're not, but putting so much thought and effort into it. You don't have to put that much thought and effort into your review, the one that we are hopefully going to ask you to leave for us.

[Jen]

The one you will give to us because we are your friends now and.

[Jill]

We have this parasocial relationship where we've built this trust and you like us and you feel like we're relatable and so you want to review our book.

[Jen]

That'd be so lovely. So nice of you to support us in that way. We love that about you. And you are beautiful. And you definitely don't need the dermaplaning razors that Jill has. But if you want them, let me know. Also let us know and we will see you next time. Bye. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. So race recap?

[Jill]

Yes, please.

[Jen]

I ran 13 miles and I felt good the whole time because I had goofy so many goos. I do. And I unpopular opinion. I like the chocolate ones, the sweet ones. I have not tried birthday cake or vanilla because I'm not usually like a that kind of sweet girl. But I prefer those. The chocolate and the espresso and the pumpkin spice to the fruit ones.

[Jill]

Okay.

[Jen]

Yeah. And gosh, it's an unpopular opinion.

[Jill]

Okay.

[Jen]

I know.

[Jill]

I'm even in the goo world.

[Jen]

In the running world, in the community. The goo you community.

[Jill]

They really should sponsor you. You coming up with like what they call their fans at this point.

[Jen]

Yeah. Come on. Come on. Goo. I got another half marathon in February.

[Jill]

And yeah, these things are expensive, right?

[Jen]

The goose. Yeah, they're like a $50 or $2 per each one.

[Jill]

Yeah. Yeah. That's expensive.

[Jen]

Yeah. I mean, I don't buy a lot of them. I buy so many. Goo. I buy so many. I talk about them so often. Talk about them more.

[Jill]

I buy enough for you to sponsor me. What did people do before goo existed?

[Jen]

Bananas.

[Jill]

Oh, it was just like mid run.

[Jen]

Chomping on straight up sugar, like in the water. It's just sugar. Your body just needs sugar. So just straight up. I don't know. Packets of.

[Jill]

Bobby know that you're saying this?

[Jen]

No.

[Jill]

Refined sugar.

[Jen]

Straight up refined sugar. Packets of honey. Candy.

[Jill]

Oh, speaking of packets of honey. I shouldn't admit this, but here I am. We went to one of the lounges on our recent trip because, you know, we have access with our credit card.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jill]

And they had. I was drinking tea at the lounge and they had like little honey sticks to add to it. And Eric loves honey sticks. So I like took a handful. Took a handful of honey sticks. Now we got honey sticks waiting for us as like a little snack. Even though I'm not a runner.

[Jen]

Wow.

[Jill]

I know. I don't think that they meant for us to take them as a snack, but we did good. I know.

[Jen]

Cool. Yep. All right.

[Jill]

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