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- [00:00]
Subaru Representative
The holiday season is back, which means it's a time for giving. Subaru and its retailers believe in giving back to those who need it most. For the past 17 years, Subaru has made the act of buying a Subaru during the holiday season an act of love. When you purchase or lease a new Subaru during the Subaru Share the Love event, Subaru and its retailers donate a minimum of $300 to charity. By the end of this year's event, Subaru and its retailers will have donated nearly $320 million to national and hometown charities. To learn More, go to subaru.com/subaru More than a Car Company after investing billions.
- [00:40]
T-Mobile Representative
To light up our network, T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch keep your phone and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and at and t@t.
- [00:53]
T-Mobile Terms Representative
Mobile.Com KeepAndSwitch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device credit service ported 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption. Required card has no cash access and.
- [01:06]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Expires in six months Are your lingering depression symptoms getting in your way? If you're on an antidepressant for major depressive disorder and you've made some progress but your unresolved symptoms leave you feeling stuck, it may be time to ask your doctor about Vralar Cariprazine Vralar is a prescription medicine approved for use with antidepressant medicines to treat MDD in adults. Adding Vralar to an antidepressant is clinically proven to help relieve overall depression symptoms better than an antidepressant alone. Results may vary. Build on the progress you've already made. Ask your doctor if adding on Vralar to your current antidepressant could help give you a lift in relief. Vralar is not approved in elderly patients with dementia related psychosis or for people under 18. Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke Report unusual changes in behavior or suicidal thoughts. Antidepressants can increase these in children and young adults. Report fever, stiff muscles or confusion as these may be life threatening or uncontrolled muscle movements which may be permanent high blood sugar, which can lead to coma or death Weight gain and high cholesterol may occur. Difficulty moving, tremors, slow or uncontrolled body movements, restlessness, feeling like you need to move around, nausea, constipation, insomnia, dizziness, increased appetite and fatigue are common side effects. Side effects may not appear for several weeks. For a lift in relief, ask about adding Vralar V R A Y L A R. Visit vralar.com or call 1-877-6-vralar to learn more.
- [02:37]
State Farm Representative
Sometimes life can seem hard and tough to navigate, but what may seem like the smallest tasks, such as getting out of bed or even brushing your teeth, should be celebrated as a win. And State Farm is here to help you celebrate all your wins. The State Farm Personal Price Plan helps you create an affordable price just for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.
- [03:12]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Sail to breathtaking destinations in Alaska or Europe with Disney Cruise Line. Discover where onboard magic meets onshore adventures, where beloved characters Hiya pal. Meet alluring landscapes, where Broadway quality shows meet historic cities, where imaginative dining meets amazing wildlife and where exciting experiences await the whole family. Book an adventure filled summer Disney cruise to Alaska or Europe.
- [03:42]
Jen
Episode 472 how to Buy what yout Love without going broke in 2025 foreign.
- [03:52]
State Farm Representative
Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity and live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.
- [04:08]
Jen
Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast. My name is Jen. My name is Jill and today we are talking about essentially the topic of our book how to Buy what yout Love Without Going Broke and we are telling you what it's about, but it's not going to be about the book. We truly want you to leave this episode with an idea of what you need to do in 2025 to feel like you the things you are buying are the things you love and that you have an idea of what you love that does not cause you to then go broke as a result.
- [04:50]
Jill
It's that concept of how we truly can get after the things that we need and want and while being. Yeah, stewarding our money and all of our resources while in the process and.
- [05:05]
Jen
Really turn the idea of needs and wants on their head. We will definitely do that today.
- [05:12]
Jill
But first, this episode is brought to you by no Regrets.
- [05:17]
Jen
No Regrets.
- [05:18]
Jill
Despite what's been thrown at you this past year, whether it be unexpected bills, health scares, maybe two back to back hurricanes, that you are able to enter into a new year with no regrets sound like too tall of an order? We've got a solution for you and it's called buy what you love without going broke. Our new book, you know it, you guessed it. It is still available for pre order and will help you in this book live with at least no financial regrets and even reframe some of the previous money decisions you've made that maybe you don't feel great about. It truly is the perfect thing to purchase this January. We believe going to be one of the most helpful resources for you in 2025 can really help to shift some of that we have around our money and then the actions that we take around our money for in some really beneficial ways. So let's have no regrets.
- [06:21]
Jen
Buy what you love book.com yes, and we're also doing for everyone who pre orders over the next week we're doing a free class on how to make a one year spending plan. So you can spend out your. You can plan out your spending over the year, but in a way that still leaves room for flexibility, spontaneity, impulsivity, all those things that we do not think are bad things in your spending. So buy what you love book.com and let's talk about how do you buy what you love without going broke? So for us we've broken it down into three parts. The first part is to figure out what you love. The second part is to figure out what you don't love. But maybe outside forces like marketing are trying to tell you that that's what you love and deserve. And then the third part is how, once we know parts one and two, how do we live that out? And how do we live it out sustainably? How do we take it with us when there's a lot of nuance? Like so much. So much stuff in books would be easy to execute if we lived in a vacuum, right? But we don't. We are surrounded by other people, outside forces. So how do we live it sustainably? So those are the three things that we are going to in this episode and the first one, identify what you love. Now if you are a regular listener of frugal friends, you know that we usually go through Internet articles. We will google something. We will see what Google throws out as their first page results and then we will give you real life opinion and ideas on it versus algorithmic ideas and opinions on the answer. But this one is going to be all us today. So the first part, how do you find what you love spending on this year in 2025? So for us, the first thing, the first actionable tip is to do a 90 day transaction inventory. So there are Some, a few things before that in the book that we say that kind of prime you for being able to do your transaction inventory. But let's start out with something actionable you can do as soon as you turn this episode off. For us, a 90 day transaction inventory is the right length of time. I was talking to my husband Travis when we just did ours a few days ago. We do it once a year. And he was like, I think we should do it for 12 months. I think that would be better. And I was like, well, I just wrote a bug on it, but it's not a big deal. So here's why we say 90 days. We want you to get it done. And you might be thinking, okay, I'll do 90 days, that sounds about right. But I'm gonna do it like for October, September, November, because that's probably more accurate. No, you need to do it for the past 90 days that you have. Not what your spending was over the fall, not what it was over the summer, but what it has been for the past 90 days. Because this is going to give you the most accurate picture of what your spending habits are. Now. We're not looking at our spending habits from the rest of the year. This is not to shame you or make you feel guilty about what you have spent over the last three months. We kind of risk that if we go beyond 90 days, it's not going to help us change our habits. It's going to make us feel either better or worse about our spending. So what we're really trying to do with this transaction inventory is figure out patterns in our spending. We're trying to figure out what spending habits am I currently in. Am I going to Starbucks a lot either on my way to work or on my way home? Am I stopping at Chipotle on the way home from the grocery store every Sunday? Am I, you know, picking up a, I don't know, a bottle of vodka on the way home from seeing my mother in law every time, like single side, right? Like we're just looking for patterns and we use atomic habits, habit cues to kind of define those patterns. So we're looking for preceding event, person, time of day, stuff like that and what that will do. Identifying those patterns is going to help give us an idea of what values we are currently trying to spend on. Values or the things that we love, what are we currently spending on and then how can we spend other resources to possibly achieve that value more fully? So maybe I am spending money on coffee so that I can stop by and see a friend at their work. Maybe that I am spending on friendship, maybe I'm trying to spend on relationships, maybe I'm not trying to spend on coffee. Maybe I am. You have to figure that out for yourself. If I'm trying to spend on relationships, connections, friendship, I'm not doing that a hundred percent by doing that action. So what is a way I can do it a hundred percent that first maybe doesn't cost me money. Maybe I'm inviting a friend over to my house. Maybe we're meeting at a park. If your house isn't a place you want to invite people. But we're getting creative in how we.
- [12:08]
Jill
Meet those values and a framework that has been helpful for us in understanding kind of, well, what are my values? What might I be trying to get after in my spending? How could my spending be telling me about my deeper self and my needs? Is Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So this triangle that many of us are probably familiar with, created by Abraham Maslow to describe our various layers of need as humans. So the bottom couple layers begin with our basic needs. It includes physiological needs like food, shelter, water, clothing, and then followed by safety and stability needs. And then the top three tiers are a little bit more nuanced in what they're describing, from love and belonging needs to self esteem needs to the tippy tippy top triangle of self actualization. And this one refers to kind of being able to operate in some of the ways that we feel. We're kind of created, made to operate in the things that make us come alive, the things that make us feel creative engineered, exercise our ingenuity, the things that make us feel spontaneous. These are also needs of ours. And so where many personal finance advice stops is at those bottom two levels of you should spend and save and mostly save and not spend around these basic needs. Once you have your needs met, then you're good and you shouldn't be spending on wants. And so that's what kind of makes it really trick to determine and decipher between well, what's a need and what's a want? Because I need a house or shelter, I need clothing, I need food, but I want it to look good, I want it to taste good. And so how do we really parse this out? And so we believe that kind of this values based spending concept and allowing ourselves to understand our needs from this perspective of Maslow's hierarchy of needs can help us to put value and priority on all of our needs that we may be having and not just stop at some of the basics but recognize we have these higher needs and they do need to be met. And we will often look to meet these needs even if some of the lower level needs aren't fully 100% met. And what we've also noticed in this is we will spend to meet these needs. Many times we have to, right? Like we have to buy food to meet our hunger needs and we've got to pay rent or a mortgage to meet our shelter needs. But we don't always have to spend to meet our esteem needs, to meet our self actualization needs, to meet our love and belonging needs. But we're so accustomed to throwing money at our problems that money is the solution. That without thinking, without giving ourselves the space to consider this, we will spend in that area. And so what we're describing with this 90 day transaction inventory and the foundational understanding of our layers of need is that when we can bring these things together, we might be able to get creative in how do we get after love and belonging? How do we get after esteem and our creativity in ways that maybe don't require us to spend money? And then what decisions can we make with our money from there?
- [15:55]
Jen
Yeah, this is where I found like this in my own life. With being so ingrained with diet culture, I have always found myself purchasing exercise subscriptions, gym memberships, like nutrition subscriptions. And I'm obviously not alone. Weight Watchers is still a thing. Ozempic is a big thing. It goes beyond even like I'm small potatoes versus like everything else that's out there, living on shakes and all of these things. And it's based on this, this really like foundational need. Yes, we need to eat and we want to eat healthy. Right. But it's marketed to us in a way that is saying if you meet this need, like it meets a basic need of food or health, but it will also make you feel better about yourself. Like don't you want to feel better about yourself like all these other people? When really what we can be doing is focusing on the actual values, the actual needs. And yes, we'll still find ourselves spending money. We're not trying to teach people how to not spend money, we're trying to spend money. We're not opting out of the system. So it will involve spending money, but usually less money.
- [17:29]
Jill
Yeah, you've heard us describe, it's not about deprivation. There may be some sacrifice along the way, but it's about understanding ourselves better and actually meeting the need where sometimes our purchases, we're attempting to meet a need, we're Buying in order to maybe experience belonging or experience some fantasized version of ourselves. But it falls flat. Like if we're honest with ourselves, it doesn't actually get us there because the marketers are kind of wrong in attaching these products to our identity. And so if we can kind of begin to detach that, it doesn't mean that we won't be spending anymore. We just won't necessarily need to spend in order to get what we truly are after.
- [18:14]
Jen
Yeah, so this, this might feel very big, but I would say we try to break it down in the book to give you a foundational starting point for your values. So we base it off of the hierarchy of needs, but we start with four Fs. Family, friends, faith, fulfilling work. So if you make those the foundation of when you spend, you try to get at those things versus the actual things or you give yourself space to think about these things. Like to consider when you're asking yourself questions, non judgmental questions like what am I really trying to get at? And kind of filter it through these four things. They're a very good starting point for aligning your spending with what you love. So it's not going to be 100%. I would say it's like an 80, 20, 80% of the time. It's going to be one of those four. But when you look at those four, they hit pretty much every single higher need. Your connection, belonging, your esteem and your self actualization, which is your creativity, innovation, et cetera. You can hit all of those with any four of those needs. That's why they're so foundational and a really good place to start when you're just starting out with values based spending.
- [19:42]
Jill
And I love how this concept can really help us push back against that needs versus wants. This I deserve this culture that I know we've talked about in a previous episode of yeah, certainly you deserve a little treat, but you also deserve so much more than that in what you can accomplish with your finances and the ways that you can meet and value all aspects of yourself. So really allowing this to be the foundational piece that then we can continue to build our actions upon. So some of that action includes the second part that we mentioned of saying no to the things that we don't actually love and value. And so some of that is going to require understanding our own impulse spending tendencies. We mention five different types of impulse spending in the book and this 90 day transaction inventory can really help us to understand what kind of impulse spender we are. Whether our unplanned purchases are the result of a habit. Like you mentioned, you know, every time I go into the store, I'm gonna buy this thing. Or every time I'm driving home from work, I'm gonna stop off and, you know, get myself a beverage, whatever that habit may be. Kind of that, that cue, that location that's happening. Is it maybe the result of social influence? Is it maybe when I am scrolling on Instagram or even just out with friends that I'm spending more money than I intended to because of the people that are around me? Is it an activity for me? Have I just been kind of socialized in a way that we spend money when we go out to have fun? Is it maybe that I just love the thrill of the hunt? I love a good deal. I love to dig. I'm calling out all of our. My thrift store girlies, I'm right there with you. That's the one for me. That can kind of draw me in and cause me to spend where maybe I didn't necessarily need to. So identifying kind of where our impulses, spending tendencies lie will help us to then be able to create a better strategy and action plan from there. Because if we're just throwing some random solution at it that isn't in line and congruent with the, the issue itself, then that too is going to fall flat. Because the way that we respond to habit spending is different from spending as the result of social influence.
- [22:20]
Jen
This is why I hate when people say start with a budget. I hate. I hate that concept. I don't hate the people that say it, I just hate the concept. Because a budget is a plan for your money. It's a future plan. And that's great. But when I was starting to budget, every month I would make this perfect budget. And every month midway through, I would be like, why can't I stick to this? Like every week I'm checking in with this budget and it is like I am wrong every single week, right?
- [23:01]
Jill
Because I'm the problem.
- [23:02]
Jen
I'm the problem. It's me. I've saying like, this is what I want to spend on and for some reason I can't do it. And I had never taken the time to look at my past spending to let that dictate what my future plan should be, but also had not started working on the skills to spend in alignment with that plan. And that's really what looking at your impulse spending tendencies and creating healthy coping mechanisms for different types of impulsivity can do for you. And impulse spending is not bad. We don't hate impulse spending. I still impulse spend. Jill does. We all do. Impulse spending is not the enemy. It's what your impulse spending on that will help you or hurt you. And it should always be included in the budget. And I think budgets should be much more flexible and include a lot more room for impulsivity. But that is another topic.
- [24:02]
T-Mobile Representative
That's for another day, even if you think it's a bit overhyped. AI is suddenly everywhere from self driving cars to molecular medicine to business efficiency. If it's not in your industry yet, it is coming fast. But AI needs a lot of speed and computing power, so how do you compete without costs spiraling out of control? Time to upgrade to the next generation of the Cloud Oracle Cloud Infrastructure, or oci OCI is a blazing, fast and secure platform for your infrastructure, database and application development, plus all your AI and machine learning workloads. OCI costs 50% less for compute and 80% less for networking, so you're saving a pile of money. Thousands of businesses have already upgraded to oci, including MGM Resorts, Specialized Bikes and Fireworks AI. Right now, Oracle is offering to cut your current cloud bill in half if you move to oci for new US customers with minimum financial commitment. Offer ends December 31, 2024. See if your company qualifies for this special offer@oracle.com strategic that's oracle.com strategic are.
- [25:10]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Your lingering depression symptoms getting in your way? If you're on an antidepressant for major depressive disorder and you've made some progress but your unresolved symptoms leave you feeling stuck, it may be time to ask your doctor about cariprazine. Vralar is a prescription medicine approved for use with antidepressant medicines to treat MDD in adults. Adding Vralar to an antidepressant is clinically proven to help relieve overall depression symptoms better than an antidepressant alone. Results may vary. Build on the progress you've already made. Ask your doctor if adding on Vraylar to your current antidepressant could help give you a lift in relief. Vralar is not approved in elderly patients with dementia related psychosis or for people under 18. Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke Report unusual changes in behavior or suicidal thoughts. Antidepressants can increase these in children and young adults. Report fever, stiff muscles or confusion, as these may be life threatening or uncontrolled muscle movements which may be permanent High blood sugar, which can lead to coma or death Weight gain and high cholesterol may occur Difficulty moving, tremors slow or uncontrolled body movements, restlessness, feeling like you need to move around. Nausea, constipation, insomnia, dizziness, increased appetite and fatigue are common. Common side effects. Side effects may not appear for several weeks. For a lift in relief, ask about adding Vraylar V R A Y L A R. Visit bralar.com or call 1-877-6-Bralar to learn more.
- [26:37]
T-Mobile Representative
We have one more act for you this evening. I don't even need to say his name.
- [26:42]
Bob Dylan
Mr. Bob Dylan, a complete unknown, is now a Golden Globe in Critics Choice nominee for best picture.
- [26:48]
Jen
Bobby, what do you want to be? Whatever it is they don't want me to be.
- [26:51]
Bob Dylan
Timothy Chalamet astonishes as Bob Dylan in one of the best performances of the year and critics rave. Edward Norton is absolutely fantastic.
- [27:01]
Jill
70,000 people are here and Bobby is the reason for it.
- [27:06]
Jen
They just want me singing, blowing in the wind for the rest of my life.
- [27:11]
Bob Dylan
Don't miss the movie. Critics are hailing five stars. It's pure cinematic magic.
- [27:18]
Jill
Turn it down.
- [27:19]
State Farm Representative
Pay loud.
- [27:21]
Bob Dylan
And named to AFI and the National Board of reviews top 10 films of the year.
- [27:26]
T-Mobile Representative
Make some noise BD track some mud on the carpet.
- [27:31]
Bob Dylan
A complete unknown now playing only in theaters. Rated R under 1790 middle without parrot.
- [27:37]
T-Mobile Representative
It'S better over here at AND T customers switching to T Mobile has never been easier. We'll pay off your existing phone and give you a new one free. All on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com carrierfreedom to switch today.
- [27:53]
T-Mobile Terms Representative
Pay off up to $650 via virtual prepaid MasterCard in 15 days. Free phone up to $830 via 24 monthly bill credits plus tax. Qualifying port in trade and service on Go 5G next and credit required. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits. Your credit stop and balance and required finance agreement is due.
- [28:07]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Hi friend, it's your inner child calling and they want churros, a new toy and a new adventure.
- [28:25]
Jen
Or maybe five with the bestest besties on earth.
- [28:32]
Subaru Representative
Find your moment at Walt Disney World Resort.
- [28:38]
Jen
So next is where I start to geek out and it's starting to recognize the marketing tactics that are in play. So once we figure out what we love, then we have this task of in the short term figuring out how to say no and in the long term figuring out how to make it sustainable. And I think in the short term understanding that so much of our overspending, especially our impulse spending, is a result of long term conditioning. If we're being honest like all the way back to the late 1800s, early 1900s, at the industrial revolution when mass production became the way we produced items, and into the 1920s where people were producing items cheaply, but they were just marketing that they were in awareness. And then in the 20s marketing changed to not just market in awareness, but also be manufacturing desires. So from for the last hundred years, manufacturing has not just been manufacturing products, marketing has then been manufacturing desires. Telling us that these products will solve problems that we have that we didn't know we had before we heard about it, or creating desires in us that other people had desired and that's fine for them, but then insinuating that we also should be desiring them. And if we're not desiring, that's something wrong with us. Not just that we have a different interest or perspective.
- [30:20]
Jill
When we have the ability now post industrial revolution to create products so cheaply, then the issue is that you've got so much supply and not enough demand. So how do we create demand? And that's such a wild concept that I think is a new issue that, you know, we're facing now in the last few hundred years, I suppose. But as far as humanity goes, a relatively newer issue. Not that we haven't desired things before. I do think that that is human nature as well. But this upon and incorporating behavioral economics and understanding of the human psyche and cognitive biases in order to have us crave these things, in order to get us to buy the solutions to problems that really can't be bought, is a relatively newer thing that we're facing. And we're being bombarded with so many more messages of it. Social media is that and even just who we're surrounding ourselves by, or we're influenced by our neighbors. We see our neighbor has a thing. It seems as though it makes their lives more efficient. I'm a buy that too. Not to mention our individuality and our reliance on independence that if I have a problem, I have to be the one to solve it. I can't ask for help, I can't borrow anything. There's a lot that is happening internally that is our own kind of bent towards impulsive spending. But there's also a lot happening externally that is drawing us in, pulling us in, influencing us to spend. And part of the solution here is just educating ourselves on that because the more we can see it and identify it happening in the world around us, the more not. I don't think we need to be fearful or on guard in that way.
- [32:21]
Jen
It's not like we want to incite anger or malice towards marketers. Like a lot of these products are good, but we want to empower you.
- [32:33]
Jill
Yeah, I mean, I do get a little bit fumed about the level of consumption that happens.
- [32:40]
Jen
You can be a little fumed if you're listening.
- [32:42]
Jill
You a little fumed happening.
- [32:45]
Jen
I can't say we haven't been, but.
- [32:47]
Jill
Honestly that does help me a ton when I can recognize. Okay, no, here's actually what's happening. I know that that commercial almost made me cry, but now I'm a little bit upset that you're playing about my emotions. Manipulative to try and get me to buy a car. It's a car.
- [33:04]
Jen
It's going to take not even a.
- [33:05]
Jill
Very good car to another. It is not going to make me a better, more adventurous person. That comes from inside of me.
- [33:12]
Jen
Yep. Okay.
- [33:13]
Jill
Okay, keep going.
- [33:15]
Jen
So if you are a little. The more you look at it, the more the more fumed you might get. But it's a short term solution at first. Actually you may feel hopeless. Like when you start, it's that cognitive bias that once you know and you know to look, you start seeing it everywhere. Right. And it can make you feel a little hopeless. So that's why we want to also instill you with some education around what we call saving smarter, not harder. The whole book is about values based spending, but we want to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off of you by giving you these key factors to focus on in your finances. And if you focus on saving here, then you have room to make more mistakes in the rest of your smaller spending.
- [34:13]
Jill
So we like to reference here the Pareto principle that 8020 rule that usually 20% of our efforts equal 80% of our outcomes. Or at least that's kind of what we want to be aiming at. And so two, when it comes comes to our money, we can apply this. A lot of times we want to be focusing on all the 80% of decisions and we're getting into the weeds on, oh, how can I save 50 cents here, 25 cents there, how do I get a deal on this? How do I cut out that latte and okay, it's okay, that's fine. I like a deal too. But those are not going to be the heavy hitters with our finances. The better place to start would be the 20% of our spending that usually takes up about 80% of where our money's going. And that's going to be our housing, transportation and food. These are the top three categories of spending where that takes up the most of our money. So it's not big line items. Right. It's not parsing out a ton of miscellaneous things. It's three things, 20%. But for most of us it makes up about more so 65 to 75% of our spending monthly. So if we can look at making better, more informed decisions that are going to be beneficial for us in these categories, then we almost don't need to worry about some of the other spontaneous spending impulse spending. We still want to feel really good about the decisions that we're making and keep things in check. But we would be much better off making a really informed money decision on housing than all of these other kind of willy nilly expenses. We give a really great example in the book about tangible real numbers here. If you were, let's say looking at a house, you were looking to purchase a house for 300,000 doll. And as you're in this process of looking, you start to realize that's not getting me exactly what I want. It's not everything on my list and I would like to see more, please. And your real estate agent takes you to maybe a house that's $350,000. You're approved for that loan. You could do that and your real estate agent would probably tell you, ah, it's just going to get wrapped up in your mortgage. It's not going to represent that much more money monthly, just an extra $50,000 over the life of the loan. You should get what you want here. You deserve extra money. Yeah, but what that actually represents in the lifetime of, let's say a 30 year mortgage and whatever interest rate might be attached to that could mean hundreds of thousands of dollars that you're losing out on that you could have, let's say, invested for retirement. So that extra $50,000 is actually costing you far more than that $50,000, not to mention what you just could have done with the extra $50,000 over the lifetime of that loan.
- [37:34]
Jen
And really that's not the, even the most important thing because a house is an investment, right? But whatever, whatever space you're trying to get at, like in your housing, whether your budget's 300, 500, 100, that extra $50,000 is a $70 date night every week, it's a $3600 summer vacation every year or two, $1800 vacations, like it just, it costs you in the short run even if you plan to refinance. And so we go into numbers, like different options in the book. And like, no, the option isn't just, just move further away from the city and get a cheaper house. That's not the solution. Right? So the solution has to be right for you. And we go through that. So these are some of the short term things, but I think the long term is going to make an even bigger impact. And so that's the third part is don't go broke. The way that we avoid being broke is by making small changes, small improvements consistently, or just by doing the right thing, not even improving, maybe just doing the right thing over and over and over for the long haul. So how do we do that? How do we make these good decisions long term? And. And we believe the easiest, lowest barrier to entry is curating your environment. There are so many things outside of our control. So the only things that we can focus on are the things within our control. So the first thing within our control is our physical environment, so our spaces. So some practical things to do are make sure you have a space like a home that you feel comfortable inviting people over to. That's a great way to meet a lot of needs, like with family and friends and not have to spend money. Make sure it's a place that you can do creative work in that you are feeling that you have created a space that supports whatever your creativity or your innovation or your individuality. And so maybe that means you're decluttering. If your space is very cluttered, maybe that means you are downsizing so you don't have so much to clean. Or maybe you are getting a bigger place. Whatever that means for you. We want you to simplify your environment to curate that physical environment. It could also mean your car, your desk at work. You're looking at these four Fs and you're thinking, okay, my physical space is a resource. I have to get more of what I love. And how can I set my physical space up to be a resource that gets as much of it as possible?
- [40:49]
Jill
And part of this is recognizing how we operate. We can make better decisions when we feel less chaotic. And so we're not talking about just minimalism. But a lot of these efforts will include a degree of simplification so that we don't have as much taking our time, energy and attention away from the things that are really important. It's about identifying what is our enough where many times we will choose additive solutions when subtractive solutions would be even better. So rather than, you know, maybe the I don't want the message to be make sure that your environment feels really good to you. And now all of A sudden you feel like you've got to decorate it really beautifully and you've got to make sure that it looks so aesthetically pleasing. No, it doesn't have to be that. More so something that feels calm and inviting to you and not chaotic, not overwhelming, not inhibiting our ability to make good decisions. And usually that's going to come through simplification. And also, in addition to curating our environment, our physical spaces, while that's a really good place to start, there are other external pieces that are important to be curating as well, and that includes our community. So recognizing the impact that our relationships are having not only on us, but on our spending decisions, we are not talking about cutting people out, but we are talking about taking inventory of the friendships that we have, the way that we're engaging with our family. What is meaningful, what's life giving, what is helping us make these beneficial decisions and what's not. That might mean that we begin to put boundaries around certain interactions. It could mean that we increase engagement with, with certain communities, certain people. It could also mean that we are a little bit more vocal about the things that we're getting after in this new year, the goals that we've set for ourselves, the things that we want to do with our finances or other. So often when we can be a little bit more vulnerable and share about what's happening for us and the things that we've set our minds to and what we're setting our hands to, it can be inspiring to others, it can spark really helpful conversation. It can help you find your people to help you in this journey. And so while community and relationships are so necessary, crucial, vital, they can also be the same place that some of our not so helpful spending decisions come from. So recognizing that and making small shifts in those areas, not cutting people out, but potentially increasing where you do have that community that's really helpful to you, how can you engage, engage with that more and really curate your community in that way?
- [43:57]
Jen
This is one of the things that I think is going to transcend spending money, because I hear all the time people who want to increase their income, and They've filled out 50 applications, 60 applications, 100 applications for new jobs, and haven't gotten anything and feel like it's just not for them, and they feel so stuck. And honestly, like, filling out work applications, a hundred of them, is not a flex. If you want to advance in an industry or advance in a position across an industry, whatever, it's the people you meet who will get you the connections that will get you the best jobs, the best salaries, the best ways to negotiate with people. It's connections, it's people. And you want to be not just curating your relationships between friends and family, but also to do your fulfilling work. Right? And we want to be curating relationships where we feel like we're giving back to the community. Right. So this is such a powerful thing that will transcend how you spend money and it will change the way that you earn money and the ways you spend your time and feel about everything. Like I'm just this one will like that chapter alone will change your life.
- [45:30]
Jill
We are throwing a lot at you and I do imagine that this could feel like you're drinking from a fire hydrant right now because this is a bit of a bird's eye view of everything that we have put into our book. Buy what yout Love without going Broke. Buy what you love book.com if any of this is resonating with you and you're like wait, but I wanted to know more about that. How would I actually do that? It's there. But I do want to kind of wrap up this concept and kind of land the plane here, start to slowly turn off that fire hydrant water to encourage you with this part. And it is one of the final chapters of the book. Talking about contentment over complacency. I think that when we hear so much about what we could be or should be doing with our money and the best decisions to be making and the action steps to be taking, it can all feel really overwhelming. And while we hope that you can kind of take one step here of, you know, start with the 90 day transaction inventory, but also there is room here to identify just. Just what is enough that we don't have to be doing all of the things all at once. We can take this in stride and recognize that it is a journey. But it doesn't have to be one where we then find ourselves complacent either. We never will come to a point of arrival, but we also want to be living within our enough along the way as we identify what's next. And one of my favorite definitions, well, or just the definition of gratitude is expressing thankfulness for benefits received. So allowing ourselves to sit in the present of what has already happened and transpired, what is currently happening in this moment. We can be hopeful for things. We can set goals. That's amazing. But that's not what gratitude is really aimed at. Not about being grateful for things we hope happen, but. But what is currently going on or.
- [47:33]
Jen
Even in the Past, like not being thankful. I have a problem with thinking so much good stuff has happened to me in the past. Like I should just be thankful for, you know, I should just be thankful because of that. No, there are things in your present, maybe big, maybe small, but there are things in the present day to be thankful for.
- [47:56]
Jill
And even what have the difficulties that you faced financially taught you? Who are you now? Who are you becoming because of some things that maybe you wish hadn't happened, but how are they forming you? I think this could be a really helpful way to view some of the things of the past and then continue to build on from there. So that could be a helpful kind of mind journaling exercise while we also do this 90 day transaction inventory. But rest assured, all of this is in the book to much greater degrees. But please, please know that it is never too late to start and there are ways to actually meet your needs fully within the parameters of your current life, season and income while also aiming for what's next. What goals can I set for myself? What excites me for the future?
- [48:52]
Jen
You know what excites me for the future and that I am presently grateful for every time I receive this benefit.
- [49:00]
Jill
The Bill of the week.
- [49:12]
State Farm Representative
That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill bill anymore. Duck bills. Buffalo Bills. Bill Clinton. This is the Bill of the Week.
- [49:33]
Subaru Representative
Hi Jen and Jill. This is Marla from Ontario, Canada. We have many bills this season as we're building a property in the woods for the next phase of our life. But my favorite spend this week is the pre order of your new book. Can't wait to read it. Love everything you do. Thanks so much.
- [49:51]
Jen
Oh Marla, I promise we didn't put that one in on purpose that we just go down the list. So thank you. Marla.
- [50:01]
Jill
This is so exciting. We love bills that we don't mind paying for. Like the bills we are excited to pay. And the fact that you chose our book as something you are willing to spend on means a lot.
- [50:17]
Jen
25 whole dollars.
- [50:19]
Jill
We don't take it for granted. We know that you all are very judicious and imprudent with your money that you have learned spending as a skill and you're not just throwing money at.
- [50:32]
Jen
Problems or you're here because you don't have a lot of money to throw at anything.
- [50:36]
Jill
So it does not escape us just how special it is that you would pre order our book. And those of you listening who have done this as well, our deepest gratitude for this benefit received and thank you. Thank you Marla for sharing that. We so appreciate it. We hope you love it. If you all are listening and you have a bill that you want to submit if it's about pre ordering our book, wouldn't that be so fun to be flooded with bills of the week about people having ordered our book? Or if your name is Bill, if you have a kid named Bill, if.
- [51:13]
Jen
You'Re Bill Curtis or you know Bill Curtis and you can get him to.
- [51:18]
Jill
Call frugalfriendspodcast.com bill we can't wait to hear it.
- [51:24]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Are your lingering depression symptoms getting in your way? If you're on an antidepressant for major depressive disorder and you've made some progress but your unresolved symptoms leave you feeling stuck, it may be time to ask your doctor about cariprazine. Vralar is a prescription medicine approved for use with antidepressant medicines to treat MDD in adults. Adding Vralar to an antidepressant is clinically proven to help relieve overall drink depression symptoms better than an antidepressant alone. Results may vary. Build on the progress you've already made. Ask your doctor if adding on Vralar to your current antidepressant could help give you a lift in relief. Vralar is not approved in elderly patients with dementia related psychosis or for people under 18. Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. Report unusual changes in behavior or suicidal thoughts. Antidepressants can increase these in children. Children and young adults report fever, stiff muscles or confusion as these may be life threatening or uncontrolled muscle movements which may be permanent High blood sugar which can lead to coma or death Weight gain and high cholesterol may occur Difficulty moving, tremors, slow or uncontrolled body movements, restlessness, feeling like you need to move around, nausea, constipation, insomnia, dizziness, increased appetite and fatigue are common side effects. Side effects may not appear for severe several weeks. For a lift in relief, ask about adding Bralar V R A Y L A R. Visit bralar.com or call 1-877-6-Bralar to learn more.
- [52:51]
T-Mobile Representative
We have one more act for you this evening. I don't even need to say his name.
- [52:56]
Bob Dylan
Mr. Bob Dylan, a complete unknown, is now a Golden Globe in Critics Choice nominee for Best Picture.
- [53:02]
Jen
Bobby, what do you want to be?
- [53:03]
Jill
Whatever it is, they don't want me.
- [53:05]
Bob Dylan
To be to Timothy Chalamet astonishes as Bob Dylan in one of the best performances of the year. And critics rave. Edward Norton is absolutely fantastic.
- [53:15]
Jill
70,000 people are here and Bobby is the reason for it.
- [53:20]
Jen
They just want me singing blowing in the wind for the rest of my life.
- [53:25]
Bob Dylan
Don't miss the movie. Critics are healing. Five stars. It's pure cinema cinematic magic.
- [53:32]
Jill
Turn it down.
- [53:33]
State Farm Representative
Pay loud.
- [53:35]
Bob Dylan
And named to AFI and the National Board of reviews. Top 10 films of the year.
- [53:40]
State Farm Representative
Make some noise.
- [53:41]
Jen
BD track some mud on a carpet.
- [53:45]
Bob Dylan
A complete unknown. Now playing only in theaters. Rated R. Under 1790. Middle without parrot.
- [53:52]
T-Mobile Representative
Now at T mobile get four 5G phones on us in four lines for 25 a line per month. Month when you switch with eligible trade ins, all on America's largest 5G network.
- [54:03]
T-Mobile Terms Representative
Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with autopay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay plus taxes and fees and $10 device connection charge phones via 24 monthly bill credits for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on a required finance agreement too. Bill credits end if you pay off devices early.
- [54:19]
Jen
CT mobile.com hi friend, it's your inner.
- [54:23]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Child calling and they want churros.
- [54:31]
Jill
A.
- [54:31]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
New toy and a new adventure.
- [54:39]
Jen
Or maybe five with the bestest besties on earth. Find your moment at Walt Disney World Resort.
- [54:51]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
This message is sponsored by Greenlight. We all know that old saying about teaching Amanda Fish. And as parents, we want our kids to learn the things that will set them up for success. So this holiday season, give kids money skills that will last well beyond 2024 with Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families where kids learn how to save, invest and spend wisely with parental controls built in. Sign up today@greenlight.com iheart greenlight.com iheartra and.
- [55:22]
Jill
Now it's time for the lightning round. Pew, pew. We have a lightning round in the book and we read our audiobook. So if you get our book in the audio version, it's us talking, obviously. And every chapter has a lightning round where we ask a question, something that you can consider that's related to the content of that chapter. And we make pew pew noises.
- [55:48]
Jen
Pew pew. All right, so what is your favorite thing to buy? What do you love to buy? We don't do that. We don't do that. Okay, so for me, I've said this before and I will die on this hill, it is daycare. I love to support my. It's a licensed in home daycare. She is a. A small business owner, immigrated from Cuba. I pay good money every week for her to love on my son and he needs so much love. He is so violent. And I love to support her, but I also love to send him away for eight hours a day so that I can do fulfilling work and spend time with Jill in person instead of just virtually because we live 15 minutes away from each other. It meets so many of my values and it is a big bill. It is a bill that some people would say is inefficient to pay, but it meets so many. It allows me to meet so many of my values. And I know it's not forever and I just love the quality of her care.
- [57:16]
Jill
What are you gonna do with that money when you don't have to pay for daycare anymore?
- [57:21]
Jen
Oh, I'm gonna invest it for retirement. Well, first I'm gonna put some away for his college and then I'm gonna put the rest towards retirement. So that's. And we invest less for retirement right now because of that bill. And for me, that's okay. That's still part of our plan of embracing the present and not being so future focused that we forget now is here.
- [57:53]
Jill
Yeah. So for me, I would say flights. I love buying flights because it represents adventure. It represents usually going to see a beautiful place or beautiful people, the people that I love. We live away from our family and friends. And so we often are going to Ohio or Pennsylvania to see family and friends or we're going to see someplace really amazing. And. And that is just so fulfilling to me. And I think it's important to have things to look forward to. I think it is one of the things that keeps us going, especially during difficult times. Like one of the things, as I've kind of counseled people over the years, going through really tough, particularly trying seasons of life, that's one of those anchor points that is usually helpful for people, like what do you have to look forward to? And if you don't have something, can you create something? Can you find something that you can put not in the too distant future that you can look forward to? And for me, that's one of those things.
- [59:10]
Jen
Yes. So we hope that we have inspired you to start on the path to learning what you love to spend money on, learning what you love to spend time and energy and space on, and that you can do more of that in 2025 without going broke. And if we have we hope that you will pre order Buy what yout Love without going broke. Or if you're listening to this after January 7th, we hope that you will buy it. Buy what you love book.com if you've already pre ordered it and you want to leave a rating and review on the platform that you purchased on, or maybe just a review of the podcast like this one from Running Jess Hands down, my favorite podcast. Five stars, it says. If you would have told me five years ago that I'd be binging a podcast on finances, saving and frugality, I would have laughed in your face. But here we are, enjoying every episode, taking notes on all the juicy info. Nerd alert. Nerd alert. Nerd alert. And humming the bill of the week jingle as I'm doing housework. Jen and Jill have excellent content and even better delivery. I've only been listening for a couple of months after they were guests on another podcast. I listen to hi Jess Massey from Hustle Sanely and I have been binging ever since. And yes, I've pre ordered their book as well and counting the days until I can dive into it. Thank you for spreading the frugal gospel with fun and positivity, providing great resources, validating good habits, and celebrating all the milestones along the way. This podcast is a game changer.
- [60:48]
Jill
I'm not crying.
- [60:49]
Jen
You're crying.
- [60:51]
Jill
I literally have goosebumps over here. Some of these reviews, you all go all out. This had all of the things that I love, including the fact that you've also pre ordered the book. This feels like such a gift to me. To have both a bill of the week and a review saying we pre ordered is.
- [61:11]
Jen
It's kind of like Goldie, a podcast manager may have planted gifts.
- [61:15]
Jill
You know what? You all collectively gave us a gift today. She's good at her work and I'm here for it. And I'm so glad that you, who would not have ever described yourself as someone who would listen to a personal finance podcast, are listening and enjoying it. Because that has been our whole goal from the beginning is accessible, fun, personal finance content for your average person who doesn't know all the lingo but wants to learn. So I'm glad you're here. If you all are listening and you've not left a review, you don't have to make us cry with your review. But like this one, it's so helpful to know, oh, this would be a personal finance podcast for me. Because yeah, I don't want it to be boring and I don't want to feel ashamed by my spending decisions. I want to feel seen and I want to be helped. If you felt that this podcast has done that for you, let others know. It can really help to get this content into the hands of more people. And by doing so, you would be helping, you'd be helping us and you'd be helping others. So thank you.
- [62:17]
Jen
Thank you. See you next time.
- [62:18]
Jill
Bye.
- [62:21]
Jen
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sears. All right, it is New Year's Eve, and when this comes out, what do you think you will do to ring in the New Year?
- [62:46]
Jill
And we're before the New Year. I think you found yourself at our party. Yeah. Yes. Remember the one year it was hot tub and roof. We were on the roof. We were on the hot tub. I don't want to know that you were able to come last year because.
- [63:01]
Jen
I have so many children. They need care. So there's just two of them, but they all require something.
- [63:10]
Jill
So what do you think you'll be doing this year?
- [63:13]
Jen
Going to bed.
- [63:14]
Jill
Yeah. See, I think that's what you said last year.
- [63:16]
Jen
Yeah, I did. I did do that last year. Year. I am past the point of my life where I want to tackle crowds at 1am That's, I think, the barrier for me.
- [63:31]
Jill
Yeah.
- [63:31]
Jen
I will tackle crowds at probably until around 9pm Most of the time.
- [63:39]
Jill
I hear you. I think New Year's is my one exception. And here's the funny thing about that. I just made this comment to Eric recently. I think a lot of parents claim and blame their kids for not wanting to go out and do these things.
- [63:53]
Jen
Blame and blame.
- [63:54]
Jill
But in reality, I think it's age because Eric and I are home and in bed far before midnight on the weekends. Even on the weekends, I didn't go out. We don't want to pee out past 10:00. Like, I. I don't want to drink past that time. I don't wanna drink past 7pm anymore because it messes with my sleep and I don't wanna be out because I have things that I need to do on Saturday morning and I'm just tired and I like my bed and I wanna get a shower and I don't need to be in this conversation with you longer than is necessary. Like, I like meeting new people, but you get it.
- [64:35]
Jen
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I.
- [64:37]
Jill
It's not the kid's fault. It's age.
- [64:39]
Jen
Yeah.
- [64:39]
Jill
And learning that, like, I met all my needs tonight. That's 10:30 we got there. There's nothing more that we're gonna learn about each other or connect on if I'm out for another two hours.
- [64:52]
Jen
I think the crowds I'm talking about are traffic on the way home that cause I never really went downtown before kids. I would go to somebody's house and then go home afterwards. So it is now I just can't because can't bring the kids out that late. But I, I, I don't know. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see where the wind takes me.
- [65:18]
Jill
And it might be straight to Muddy.
- [65:20]
Subaru Representative
Mubbit the holiday season is back, which means it's a time for giving. Subaru and its retailers believe in giving back to those who need it most. For the past 17 years, Subaru has made the act of buying a Subaru during the holiday season an actively when you purchase or lease a new Subaru during the Subaru Share the Love event, Subaru and its retailers donate a minimum of $300 to charity. By the end of this year's event, Subaru and its retailers will have donated nearly $320 million to national and hometown charities. To learn More, go to subaru.com/subaru More.
- [65:57]
Jill
Than a Car Company the holidays are here, and so is the Ikea Winter Sale.
- [66:01]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
Now's your chance to make the holidays.
- [66:03]
Jill
A little more magical and less expensive. Save up to 50% off on select items in store and online now through January 7th. Plus IKEA loyalty members get an extra.
- [66:12]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
10% off on sale items offer valid.
- [66:15]
Jill
In the US through 17 mall supplies. Last selection may vary by store and online. See store@ikea-usa.com wintersale for complete terms. Restrictions apply.
- [66:23]
Subaru Representative
This is Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab. Many people have questions about how to improve levels of happiness. Living a healthy lifestyle is one sure way of increasing happiness, and a good place to start is with your oral health. Just a few small changes to your oral care routine, such as changing your toothpaste to Colgate Total, can lead to beneficial changes in your oral health. Colgate Total helps stop oral health problems like gingivitis and cavities before they start, because preventing oral health problems is a lot easier than treating them. Be dentist ready and get colgate total@shop.colgate.com Total at all.
- [67:00]
T-Mobile Representative
Hey there, Scott Patterson from I Am All In Again Podcast Life Short Talk Fast Stream Gilmore Girls on Hulu that's right, grab your coffee and get cozy because all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls are now on Hulu. Stream all the witty, banner, heartwarming moments and awkward Friday night dinners with Lorelei, Rory and the eclectic mix of characters Whether you're rewatching or going Gilmore for the first time, Hulu has you covered. It's a show. It's a lifestyle. It's now streaming on Hulu. Dear Toyota, I need a word with you about your Crown family. I started driving one, and suddenly I love traffic. No, really. Rush hour is my happy place. Intentional wrong turns feel so right. I could sit in the comfort of my crown forever, basking in its elegance, feeling on top of the world. But you see how this is strange for me, right? Who gets excited about traffic? This is on you, Toyota.
- [67:59]
Disney Cruise Line Representative
And send the captivating Toyota Crown family. Toyota, let's go places.