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- [00:01]
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- [00:45]
Jen
Cap apply How to stick with your big financial goals.
- [00:52]
Podcast Host Intro
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live a richer life. Are your hosts Jen and Jill?
- [01:08]
Jen
Hey Frugal Friends, I'm Jen.
- [01:09]
Jill
I'm Jill and welcome to the Summer Slowdown. We are slowing down behind the scenes to prepare for our CFP exam.
- [01:18]
Really hoping we pass.
- [01:20]
And in the meantime we're going to be playing some of our greatest hits from 2024.
- [01:25]
Jen
Yes, we will still have new episodes on YouTube on Tuesdays, but on Fridays we will be releasing super Cubic Secret special greatest hits episodes for you to lighten our recording load.
- [01:37]
Jill
And today's episode is a really good mid year reality check. Many of us have probably burned out or totally abandoned the goals we set for ourselves earlier in the year and that's totally normal. This episode is going to explore the mindset shifts that you need to deal with the ebbs and flows of pursuing big goals because goal achievement isn't linear.
- [01:59]
Jen
Yes, but first this episode is brought to you by A Sad Empty Week. This week would have been prime day. Did you know that Jill? This would have been prime Day.
- [02:10]
Jill
I had no idea. But now I know.
- [02:12]
Jen
Yes, which doesn't make any sense because how was a day also a week? I don't know, but Amazon decided to move it up to June. Surely not in an attempt to devastate the marketing interns at competing retailers by moving up a sales event they thought they had six extra weeks to plan for and thereby gaining more marketing share
- [02:30]
Sponsor Voice
of the consumption for the event.
- [02:32]
Jen
For sure not today. We stand in solidarity with the week who has been forgotten. She already had the 250th independent state to compete with. So today to honor her, we ask you to subscribe to frugal friends on YouTube because here at Frugal Friends, we have not forgotten this week. Never forget. Never forget. All right. Anyways, on to today's episode. So we talk a lot about the, not just the mindset. Not we definitely we're not like woo woo affirmation sort of that sort of like mindset. But we, we love to look at the psychology behind the place that your mind plays in your money. So we do a lot of episodes like this. And this is actually going to be one of the chapters of our book that we are writing that will release next year. And so we wanted to talk it out with you guys. The book itself isn't about financial goals, but it is about values based spending. How do you spend in your values? And a lot of people are going to want to learn that because you have financial goals. And so we wanted to, we thought it was the perfect time in the year to bring this up. And so we had a poll in the friend letter. So if you don't get the friend letter, that's another reason to get it because we do a poll in every, every email and a lot of them will bring into our planning for the episode. And we've learned, we asked what are your biggest financial goals for 2024 and learned that first 40% of you want to pay off credit card and or personal loan debt, which is wild because I really thought it was going to be student loan debt. And that one only got less than a quarter of the votes for debt. And then the next highest amount was saving as much for retirement. That's the about half as many of you want to do that. So we are going to focus a lot of maybe our content in 2024 with the focus of paying off debt, but then also with the mindset that a lot of this is high interest debt and that we want to pay off first. We had a lot of feedback from the poll saying that you feel like you want to do all of these goals. The choices were save an emergency fund, pay off student loans, credit card, save for retirement, or save for an upgrade or renovation. And a lot of you want to do all of them. And we definitely say paying off the credit card and personal loan debt should be first priority. Besides save an emergency fund. You can kind of do those at the same time. But we know the goals compete. So if you have to pick one, pick the high interest. But we wanted to just go through a few of your like your feedback, your responses and kind of like encourage you and yeah, and kind of this Isn't a new thing that we're trying. So, Jill, did you have any that you wanted to point out?
- [05:53]
Jill
You know, just reading because you can vote in the polls and then you can also type a response and reading your responses feels like it has grown my heart three times the size that it already was.
- [06:07]
I don't.
- [06:08]
I know that you all are so great, but truly just where you're at and some of your vulnerability in your responses to just this simple poll really was moving to me. So that's one of my takeaways. I don't want to read anyone in particular, but what stood out to me in the responses to the poll is so many people just hitting these barriers of, you know, maybe wanting to do a renovation and then inflation costs and building materials are too much. So it has kind of halted progress on that renovation. Or you had some unexpected difficulties through a storm and now it's forced you into renovations. A lot of renovation stuff happening, but then barriers faced in the midst of it and then needing to take out loans. So I think what stands out to me is that this isn't. I'm just blowing money on credit cards, you know, shopping, which that can be some people's circumstances. And that's okay. There's a journey there, but for so many, there's this. I kind of had to make this decision because of where I'm at currently to take on this debt. And I think my heart just feels for you all. And I love the goal that you've set for yourself to pay off this high interest debt. And I think it's helpful even for me to feel I'm not alone either. I have faced these circumstances. Like, I really want to do this thing, but I don't have the money
- [07:35]
for it right now.
- [07:36]
Or this is more than I thought it was going to be. And yeah, y' all are just in some real spots with your money.
- [07:44]
Jen
Yeah. The only one that I want to call out is that one of our readers has some money in medical debt and has the cash to pay it off. And it's kind of like torn because she, you know, she thinks that people think that she should use that to just pay it off and be debt free. But she has a chronic illness. And I just want to say, like, you're good girl. Like, I would not tell you to use your cash reserves, especially with a chronic illness. Don't use your cash reserves to pay off a medical debt. This medical debt is probably interest free. You're already on a payment plan. Don't worry. You're doing the right thing. There's a lot of times where I think we've heard conflicting financial advice in the past and we're doing what feels right for us and we're stressed. I know I had this when I was paying off debt. Everyone was like, debt snowball. Debt snowball, Debt snowball. And then we chose to do the debt avalanche. And I was like, I feel kind of guilty because everyone's telling me to do this and I'm doing this. And in hindsight, it was insane because I was paying off debt. It didn't matter. Like I was doing something good for my finances, didn't matter how I did it. I was moving in the right direction. And so if you are moving in the right direction, don't let conflicting financial advice confuse you or conflict you. Do what's right for you as you just stay in the right direction. And that's a lot of what we're going to be talking about today when we talk about mindset. So we have three kind of steps or tips that you should take with you. We're going to dive deeply into two of them. So just come in with hot with. The first one is in order to stick to big financial goals, you have to fall in love with the process. And we've talked previously and in the book this is going to make more sense because you'll have just read it, but in previous episodes where we've been kind of fleshing out these ideas kind of about mastering the skill of spending. You'll never be perfect at spending. You'll never spend 100% on what you value and 0% on what you don't. Right. But spending is a skill that we do get better at. And instead of just viewing that process as a means to an end, just as a means to get to your financial goals, when you start to fall in love with the process, that's when you can take this skill and not just reach your next financial goal, but your next financial goal and the next one and the next one. Because you're never going to stop having financial goals. And so the first thing when we're looking at how do we stick to big financial goals long term is to fall in love with the process.
- [10:47]
Jill
Yeah.
- [10:47]
So many people ask us how, how do you stick to frugality? And they'll ask it like it's this self imposed punishment. Like this is like really viewing the deprivation parts of it. What I have to say no to, what it means I can't do or accomplish. And how does anyone possibly just stick with Frugality. And I think we're, we're recognizing in ourselves and in other people's stories that we're not frugal just for frugal sake. None of us just love being frugal also. It depends on how you're defining frugality, but for partially what it gets us and partially like Jen's describing falling in love with this process in a, in a larger, more all encompassing way. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna look at one angle, Jen will look at another. But I think frugality can be something that when we put it into pract, are reaching our financial goals faster, we're saving more, we maybe don't have to work as hard because we're not at a place where we're continuously outspending our earnings. We're kind of recognizing where contentment is, where enough is. And we can recognize that's what frugality affords us. But of course that's not necessarily enough for everybody because those goals ebb and flow. They, they shift. You reach a goal and. And then what? There's this deeper mindset that does have to become more all encompassing of no. I truly love this lifestyle that I'm building. I truly love learning more about myself and how to spend on the things that I really enjoy.
- [12:34]
Jen
Yeah, for me, the math isn't enough and even the big why isn't enough. And most people, I think experience this is that we're always. When you're creating a financial goal, you say think of your why? Why do I want to. Because paying off debt in itself is not the goal. The goal, it's just not enough. The goal for me, when we were paying off debts that I wanted to foster, that was the real goal. And paying off debt I knew would make it easier for me to choose to work or not to choose how I wanted to work. The flexibility I would have in my life in the future. That's why I paid off debt. I didn't pay off debt because I wanted to be debt free. I didn't want to be debt free. I didn't really care. So that was not enough for me in order to want to spend better. And even that didn't make me want to change my spending. That made me want to pay off debt.
- [13:40]
Sponsor Voice
It.
- [13:40]
Jen
And so I just wanted to side hustle more to pay off the debt. So it's a start, but it's also a process. And that's why we say process. Because you're going to be learning more about your capabilities, your unique season and what you're capable of and what you think your journey is going to look like is not probably what the journey is going to look like long term. So you have to be flexible and willing to pivot. And all of this is easier to do when you're focused more on the process instead of the end goal. Because we think about goals and we think the ends justify the means. And I hear this all the time, everywhere, in every scenario. Surely you have heard this and I'm adamant. The ends never justify the means. And the end is the end. Right? The end after its end, it's over, you're dead. The means are all we have. So when you fall in love with the process, that's your life, that's everything that you have. If you just fall in love with the end, you're gonna resent the process.
- [15:01]
Jill
Yeah, I think said another way, it's enjoying the journey, embracing the journey. Because it can't just be about the destination. The destination is in some ways a blip on the radar. The hike that you go on and you reach the peak and that's awesome. But if you don't learn to embrace the hike on the way there, then that, that's just a fleeting moment, you'll probably never go hiking again. Might be the reason that a lot of people don't go hiking. But I think that this relates to that other question that we get asked often too. Not just how do you stick to frugality, but how do you keep that long term goal in mind and remember your why when making that instant gratification decision is just so much easier and more appealing. How do I turn down the thing in the moment and keep this why in the forefront at all times? And the reality is it's actually not possible. And probably one of the reasons that we all can feel so defeated in that process. I think first to both of those questions that we say, you can't just want it, you're going to have to love it. You're going to have to fall in love with the process, embrace the journey. You really do have to love your long term goal and your why enough that you want to say no to the insight instant gratification decision. Not just that your willpower was strong enough. Like if your heart doesn't flutter, you don't get flushed in the cheeks. When you think about your goal, then it's not the right goal to pursue. That's why what you're describing, Jen, that paying off debt is rarely the right goal for most people. I mean certainly still pay off Your debt. But paying off debt is a solution to a problem, keeping you from the right goal. So this is where we're talking about mindset of identifying it can't just be be pay off debt. That's going to feel really depleting, overwhelming. It's going to feel like deprivation most of the time. We've got to attach it to something bigger. And we have to learn to embrace the process, fall in love with the journey of discovery and finding ways that it's not feeling like I'm just saying no, but I'm saying yes. And that's a lot of mindset that we're talking about there.
- [17:23]
Jen
Yeah, it comes down to this external and internal motivation. So a lot of the times in this we'll focus on external motivators. So those are like rewards. If you pay off a credit card, you take yourself out to dinner, if you get a raise, you go buy yourself a new outfit. You know, you've got these events and you are working towards them for some type of external motivation. You know, like if I spend nothing for six days, on the seventh day I'm going to get to go out to dinner, something like that. That's external motivation, external rewards. And then you have intrinsic motivation, internal motivation, and that's doing something for the joy of doing it. Nobody has to tell you to do it. You find joy and satisfaction for doing it. And that's part of like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. We're looking for those higher needs. Right. The self esteem, the self actualization, that those are the things that are going to help us find those intrinsic motivators. But that's kind of what we're talking about here. External motivation only lasts for so long after like six months in your debt payoff journey. That seventh day dinner is not going to be motivating enough. You'll just go buy dinner now. You know, it's not going to work. You have to be, while you're using external motivation, you have to be building up these intrinsic motivators, building up and finding the things that you love about the journey. You're not going to love everything about the journey. Right. You're not going to love everything about the process. So it's about how do we do more? We're looking at all the things, we're taking inventory. What do I love, what do I don't love? How do I do more of the things that I love and less of the things that I don't love. And we talk a lot about eating at home because it saves money. I personally hate dishes, so I want to eat at home because it saves money. So how can I make eating at home more enjoyable? Well, I want to do less dishes and I want to do less cooking. So I create a meal plan that focuses on the things that I love. It brings me joy when I cook a meal at home because I know I've saved so much money and not eating out and I haven't felt miserable in the process, you know, making these multi pot dinners that look Instagram worthy. So finding these, these things that bring you joy, so that's like finding joy on the actual like saving money side. But there are other things like honestly like making money brought me a lot of joy on my debt payoff journey. I just every time a dollar hit my bank account, like I, I loved it. I felt accomplishment was really one of my core values back then. So another way you can find these intrinsic motivators is knowing your core values. And so anytime I could find that, like I felt so good, you know, the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, those are also some things. If you know those things about yourself, then you can get closer to finding your intrinsic motivators.
- [20:53]
Jill
I think for me, feeling accomplishment along the way and feeling senses of ingenuity and embracing simplicity and watching myself problem solve and become resourceful, especially in my debt payoff. But then beyond that, it was something that I embraced because I loved those things so much. Much along the way. What I was able to see in myself as a result of just kind of thinking more critically and leaning into the things that actually were valuable to me is what kind of kept me and keeps me on this journey of being a good steward of my resources. For me, that's my example of what the process and enjoying and falling in love with the processes and why I can say wholeheartedly, frugality isn't deprivation. For me, values based spending isn't, isn't saying no constantly. It's actually finding my better yeses and really leaning into that and choosing to focus my time, energy and attention on those things.
- [21:58]
Jen
Yes, I am finding my better yes.
- [22:01]
Jill
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- [22:20]
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- [22:39]
Jill
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- [22:44]
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- [23:20]
Jill
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- [23:35]
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- [23:47]
Jill
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- [24:05]
Jen
So first is falling in love with the process. Next is embracing the ebbs and flows of life, of the journey. Embracing the ebbs and flows. And so originally in this chapter, we wanted to talk about taking quote, unquote potty breaks on the journey. Like it's a road trip and you're allowed to take potty breaks. But I think, and we still like believe that, right? You're allowed to take breaks on your journey, but if you shift your mindset slightly and just say the entire thing is the journey. But sometimes there's going to be straight up into the right movement and sometimes it's going to be a little backtracking that happens. And so embracing the ebbs and flows of life is another essential mindset and practice to sticking to long term financial goals.
- [25:08]
Jill
Yeah, to recognize that there's going to be a Little bit of ups and downs. And we can see this just when we look at the graph of the last 30 years of the S&P 500 index. And if you can't recall that instantly in your head, you can think of any really kind of any line graph, you can clearly see that it goes up and down and up and down and up and down. But ultimately it's going to trend up and to the right. So any line graph you've ever seen, that's what the S&P 500 index line graph looks like. And that even though we see these graphs all the time, everywhere for some reason, we can still expect that our trajectory is just going to be a straight line up and to the right. And we can get really disappointed when things don't go our perfect way. And so I think to stick to a big financial goal, you have to embrace the journey, fall in love with the process, but also recognize that there's going to be these ebbs and flows and learning ways to embrace that too. Not to see it as this massive setback, but a part of the process. Keeping in mind that if you're on a downturn, it's not going to stay that way. And if you're on an upswing, it might not remain that way either. But that we can continue to hold hope and recognize that we can continually experience growth in some facet and trend up and to the right. Even if there are these times where it feels like I've fallen off the wagon, this isn't going my way. That doesn't mean that that's the entire picture of your life.
- [26:53]
Jen
Yeah, we saw so many of you in your feedback in the friend letter poll saying I was on my way to pay off debt and then I had this medical thing or, or this thing broke in my house or a car broke and now I had to use my emergency fund for that or put it on credit and now I'm like resaving or changing, changing my strategy. There are going like your financial goals are going to change too. They're not going to be static, like you're going to be paying off your debt. Then you're going to have a car breakdown and use your emergency fund and you're going to have to transition back to saving an emergency fund again and then we get back to the debt. So you have to expect that, expect that's going to happen and be bummed about it. Like it's not cool, it's not fun, but it's going to happen, you know, and because you're Prepared for it because you already anticipated it. It's going to be less of an emergency, it's going to be less of a crisis, and just more of a bummer. I would much more prefer a bummer over a crisis.
- [28:05]
Jill
Yes. And life ebbs and flows, even separate from our existence. I know we talked about this in honoring our season. And what does that mean and look like? And sometimes these ebbs and flows happen apart from our control, which is also all the more reason to accept it as a part of the journey and a part of the process. And we don't need to view every. Every ebb as a setback, a failure, an indication that you should quit or that you're not enough. We don't have to internalize these things in life that don't go our way. We can see them as a part of the process. As we were preparing for this episode, Jen, it was reminding me of a very tangible, very real experience. Experience that I've been having lately of cleaning my house. I do like a very clean house. I want that to be a destination. But I have been bummed over the years to realize that it's never going to reach perfection. I have gotten to these points in life where, okay, yes, the laundry's done and the floors are mopped and the beds are made, but. And that all feels amazing. And I feel like I've almost reached the pinnacle. But even still, that's not gonna last come tomorrow. We're using it and we're walking around, and there's more laundry that's now been created and more dirt. And even if I did reach what I think is nirvana, like, the baseboards could still be cleaned and the ceiling fans could be wiped on the tops, and the fan in the bathroom could be cleaned out. Like, recognizing that I'm actually never going to arrive, this bit of just maintaining is going to be a part of my life. And even before we mapped out this outline, I was starting to try to think through how can I shift my mindset on this? So I'm loving to see the overlap here, and it's helping to solidify this takeaway for me that I have to learn to enjoy the fact that. That this is going to be a regular part of my rhythm and that I can enjoy this as part of something that I do. How can I embrace what it means to maintain in the way that I want to maintain my house? And so it's meant playing music or not caring so much or letting it get messy and then inviting other people to help me with it. If it really needs that. So I think we can see this a part of a lot of areas of life that there are these ebbs and flows. We're never going to reach perfection. Having various financial goals will continue to be a part of our life. There isn't the reaching the pinnacle. It's just over. Like you've said, Jen, we reach the end and it's the end. We will forever and always have new goals, new things we're focusing on. There will be barriers and interruptions to that thing. But what can we incorporate into our thought life that is going to help us enjoy the process of it, recognize that ebbs and flows are part of it. We can embrace the ebb so we can get back into the flow and find joy in the midst of all of it.
- [31:34]
Jen
Yeah, I think one of your solutions might be to come over to my house because this morning I had the same desperation, but it's because I couldn't see any of the surfaces in my house. They were all covered. The kids were sick this weekend and I was also sick and I just couldn't see any of the surfaces. And I cleaned up a little. I actually was so overwhelmed. I was like, you know what? I'm going to do my 10 minute trick. This is a little tangent 10 minute trick. I set a timer for 10 minutes and I just did everything I could in 10 minutes and ended up getting everything cleaned in the kitchen except for the dishes. And then I went to work and it made me.
- [32:14]
Jill
Did what you could with the resources that you had. It's beautiful.
- [32:19]
Jen
So, yeah, I mean, I, I this concept of embracing the ebbs and flows transcends finances. Right? When we have this, when we train ourselves in this mindset for finances, we take it everywhere. And the same goes for, we try to incorporate in most of our episodes. If you can use the skills you learn in spending and feel good about that, confident about that, you can take those skills elsewhere, like in cleaning. So yeah, stop, stop viewing every event in life that doesn't go the way you think it should as something that reflects you personally or your capabilities, your abilities, your seasons abilities, and just embrace it. So instead of internalizing, let's do two things. We're gonna learn from the ebbs and celebrate the flows. So when we make goals, we often make them with the notion that we will remain the same person we are now, but with X. Fill in the blank for goal with, you know, I am me now but with no debt. That leads to viewing the process of getting to the goal as a means to an end, like we said, is not healthy. And that's why many people fail to achieve big goals, is because they are just. They're looking at themselves now and then. Big goal and forgetting the process. You have a huge opportunity to grow from the things that challenge you along this process. When you reach a goal, assume you will not be the same person that you are when you started the goal. Just assume that. And when you assume that, you can view every ebb, every challenge as a way to learn, to grow. Figuring out, what can I take from this? So if it was something that I did or didn't do, if it was a challenge that stemmed from me, like, what's the root cause of the decision that I made? And how can I make a different decision the next time this comes up? Right. If it was something that didn't stem from you, that it was environmental, how can I be prepared for something like this in the future? Was I over prepared? Was I under prepared? Asking yourself questions when challenges arise so that you learn, you grow. So when you get to your next goal, your secondary goal should be to also, like, be a wiser person. So the goal, I don't think the goal is to be celebrated. And this is something I learned a lot in running. Like in when you do a half marathon, the half marathon is just your victory lap. The real challenge is all the training that it took to get to the half marathon and then just having fun in the race, because that's your victory lap. And it's the same thing. The goal, I don't think should be celebrated as much as once you reach the goal, to celebrate the whole journey, the whole process that you just went through, to remember all the challenges you overcame, all the times you made a decision that you didn't like. And then the next time you had that decision to make again, you made the one that you wanted to make. All of these things. So these are really important things to remember. And then next to celebrate the good times, Right. So you can't know what's up unless you've been down, essentially. So when you're learning from these ebbs, then when you're in a good season, a season when there are no bummers, you can really celebrate that and really hit your stride and know that it's a stride.
- [36:27]
Jill
Yeah, I think finally, I know we wanted to say that there's three things, and we're not going to talk about this too much in depth because we really thought that those first two were vital. But I think being informed and knowing when outside forces have ulterior motives is that kind of third and final piece that we want to talk about. So your, your journey won't be perfect. You will not be perfect. There are always going to be outside forces also working against you. So you know a lot about spending psychology, but marketers and advertisers know just as much and they want to encourage you to spend your money. And so I think we want to say that it's not evil marketing advertising. There's a lot of good people, good businesses, getting good messages out there. But for every ad that helps you spend on things love, there are also like 5 to 10 ads trying to convince you to love what it is that they're selling. And so we think that this is another key element in being able to stick to finance, not just financial goals, but learning to love and embrace the process is also thinking critically about the way that we're spending and leaning more and more into spending on the things that we value.
- [37:46]
Jen
Yeah, being informed is something that's going to be a lifelong journey and we're here to help you stay informed. But the marketing tactics that people were using five years ago, 10 years ago, they've evolved because people get wise and they stop, you know, being privy to pervasive advertising. And so some of the things, some of the new things that we saw come out in 2023, and this obviously will change over the years, but right now we're seeing like AI powered chatbots that like literally have, will have real time conversations to answer questions and guide you to making a purchase on websites or social media. And they can even customize these conversations using data and analytics. You probably didn't realize you agreed to share with them. So that's one thing marketers know you want to buy what you value. So now they're creating brands with impact that make you feel like your purchase is doing good. We saw a lot about in 2021 people saying buy to help people, buy things to help other people. And to an extent in that time that was a healthy thing, but people are still kind of using that buy shop small. We want to shop small, but we don't want to overspend in our attempt to help small businesses. We want to save on the big things so that we have room in the budget to help out small businesses and not put ourselves in credit card debt. So be wary of like brands that really make you feel like spending money with them is doing good. If you want to do good, there are a lot of ways to do good. And they're evolving. They know Blatant advertising feels icky like in social media paid ads with influencers. So they're actually becoming storytellers. Right. Connecting you to the brand on an emotional level sometimes before you even know what they sell. I was doing some reading and there are no, from what I understand there are no pictures of Red Bull on Red Bull's Instagram. So it's all story based, getting you to love the brand and so you are attached to them on emotional level. So when you make an energy drink, you know, when you have the chance to make an energy drink purchase, they hope you will choose Red Bull. So and that's kind of, I mean it's definitely a transition from what they've done in the past. But a lot of other brands are doing this and I think probably on a deeper level than just like energy drinks but, but things that make you feel a certain way and then when you buy their product you hope you're buying that feeling. So that's why it's becoming increasingly important that you don't evaluate your goals and values just once. But you have to continue to reevaluate them for the rest of your life. So as marketing evolves, so do you. And there are a ton of others. We have an episode on marketing techniques that is still super relevant. But these are just a few of the new ones that we saw come out in 2023 that have been that marketers and we read these, we read marketing articles that are written for marketers and then we talk about them on this show. But you know what they're reading.
- [41:45]
Jill
I love that hot take. So to review the mindset pieces that we want to keep our sights on and be actively working towards growth and well being is that falling in love with the process, learning ways that you can really embrace the journey. We are finding ways to embrace and recognize the ebbs and flows and, and we're informing our brains and knowing when the outside forces are having an impact on us versus us allowing it to inform us on the values that we already know that we have. We think that these three things are going to be really powerful for longevity and really enjoying it. Not just longevity in this tough cumbersome thing that we're doing, but embracing a life that we really enjoy. Being in tune with our values and it not feeling like deprivation but the life that we've really curated and enjoy now. But you know what? There is a secret hidden fourth thing here.
- [42:50]
Jen
Yes.
- [42:51]
Jill
That we really.
- [42:52]
Jen
And if you take this with you, you do have a higher. It's statistically studies have Shown with a sample size of 2, that this will really help you stick to your long term goals.
- [43:06]
Jill
It's the bill of the week.
- [43:08]
Jen
The bill of the week. This is the bill of the week. This is the bill of the week.
- [43:20]
Podcast Host Intro
That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills. Buffalo Bills. Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.
- [43:40]
Listener Acacia
Hey, frugal friends. My name is Acacia. I'm in Nova Scotia, Canada. Love your stuff. I've listened for a long time. It's been fantastic. My bill of the week just happened to be this morning. So. So earlier this week I asked, I reached out to a company and asked for a discount on one of their pieces of software that I use a lot and it came time to renew and it's kind of pricey and so I just reached out and asked if they have a discount program for small businesses and they had a few pieces of criteria they needed me to meet, which I did. And they said if I left a review on this platform, they would go ahead and give me a 20% discount. So I did got the 20% discount. Fantastic. Then today I got an email from that platform that hosts the reviews and they said that I could collect an Amazon gift card for $14 as a reward for leaving a review. So for one review, I got 20% off the product that I wanted and then I got $14 for Amazon for whatever I like. That was a pretty good day. Thank you guys so much for everything you do. Take care.
- [44:49]
Jen
Oh yes, we love that you don't know if you don't ask. That's I need to get through my head. That is honestly a lesson I am still learning.
- [45:04]
Jill
Yeah, Akisha, that is a good day. I've had this happen as well. The opportunity to leave a review and get a gift card in return. Oh, what a beautiful turn of events that can happen there in those purchases. So thrilled to hear of this. Thanks for sharing your bill with us. If you all listening, have a bill. If it's about leaving reviews and getting discounts and gift cards in return. If it's about a bill, you don't mind paying. If your name is Bill and you're just out here living your life in the world, we want to hear from you. Frugalfriendspodcast.com Bill. Leave us here, Bill.
- [45:47]
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Jill
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- [47:14]
Jill
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- [47:42]
Jill
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- [47:52]
That's Z-E-N-N-I.com podcast promo code podcast15 and now it's time for the lightning round.
- [48:06]
Jen
All right, 2024, what's your big financial goal? And I love how this is flipped for us.
- [48:20]
Jill
Did we say what our goals were for 2023? Have to go back?
- [48:24]
Jen
Well, I think we've just talked about them to each other, but usually my goal is your goal and your goal is my goal. But 2024, it's chaotic.
- [48:38]
Jill
What is your biggest Jen, what's your big financial goal?
- [48:41]
Jen
Mine is a house renovation. So we have had money saved. We are almost two years, a year and a half, over a year and a half into this home renovation and we are definitely going to finish it this year. I don't know if we'll hit the two year mark like the, like the, I don't know. Every month we change the goal, but we will finish it this year because we're pretty close. We just have the one big thing that we've put off to the end is getting a header installed and removing part of a load bearing wall. That honestly, finding somebody to do that has been the hardest thing. And I will never take on a wr renovation again where I, where I have to hire out help. I just will never do that again because it's hard.
- [49:42]
Jill
It's hard.
- [49:46]
Jen
So. So yeah. And I will feel a lot less anxiety once the money we have set aside in our bank account has been spent on the home renovation. Because right now I don't want to spend it because I'm not 100% sure what the rest of the renovation will cost. Like that's not something I can perfectly. But that is not something I can budget for. I can have a goal in mind. But so, I mean, I definitely have a limit. I have a top limit because my money is not infinite. But yeah, I want it to be over.
- [50:26]
Jill
Oh, it'll happen. But yeah, being in the thick of it can feel so overwhelming. Whenever we even did renovations for other people, of course we did our own, but Eric and I had our own renovations business, small business at one point and before we started any person's project, I always warned them, you like me now. You like what I have to say to you. You're gonna keep liking me probably for another few weeks. But the second we hit the middle, you're going to feel real, done. You're going to hate all of this. Right smack dab in the middle. And then you're going to think that you're almost there and you're not and you're still in the middle. And it's not until the very, very, very final end that things will look up again. But we're going to have a solid middle point where everything feels really awful. And as much as I reminded other people about it, I'd remind myself it still just stunk every single time. That middle bit, that radical middle holding the tension between the beginning and the end. And neither one feels like it's in sight. The beginning was so far away and the end is so far away.
- [51:38]
Jen
I know that's One of the reasons I couldn't see any of my surfaces this morning is because we keep removing surfaces in the renovate, like in the renovation. And eventually we will put more in, but not yet.
- [51:53]
Grainger Advertiser
So,
- [51:56]
Jill
yeah, yeah, you're in the middle. Get comfy. Find a way to embrace it. So for me, I wrote Earn More. But I think, Jen, as you and I have chatted, that is true. But I think that this conversation is even helping me to realize that I'm in an ebb right now. I think I'm coming out of a flow. I anticipate a flow in the future. I hope to ultimately trend up and to the right, but I do think I'm in an ebb and I'm okay with it. I have actively kind of chosen this ebb. It's not necessarily something that has happened to me, thankfully. I think because of you, our community, these conversations, it doesn't feel like deprivation. I think I'm learning ways to embrace it, but I'm not in this point of everything feels attainable to me. I'm just grasping everything my heart desires. I'm definitely in a place where I have to be a little bit more mindful about my decisions, especially around my finances. There's some things that we're doing, again, not deprivation, finding ways to experience joy in the midst of it, but having made a decision to make less right now for this season because of freedom and flexibility that it's affording me. It also means we can't go out as much. We need to be a little bit more prudent about things that, again, I don't feel sad or deprived in it, but I'm in an ebb. I'm hoping to earn more, but that earning more isn't this total at the forefront for me. It's a little bit more of I feel like I'm in maintenance mode. I want to maintain the things that I've already done. And if I feel like I'm wanting something, finding creative ways to get that. I think one small example of this is Instagram did get me the other day. I saw this reel of a woman who's a cook. She makes these recipes that are really inspiring to me. I love the food that she makes and she is trying to sell this apron that's adorable. It looks like a dress over top of her clothes. And I don't have an apron. I've never thought that I needed an apron, but I'm like, that's a beautiful apron. And I actually got excited. I mean, I clicked on the link. They're like 95 doll for this apron. But I actually got excited to think I could sew that. Like I have a skill of sewing. I've got fabric. Who knows if I'm actually going to do it. But it was inspiring to me even to see that growth that we've just been talking about that it's not deprivation for me to say I'm not going to get that apron right now. It's $95. It's ridiculous. If I wanted it, I can figure out a way to make it myself with the things that I already have on hand. So I think right now my financial goal, quote unquote continuing to like embrace this season and enjoy the freedom and flexibility that my choices have allowed and kind of just maintain as I also have this aim of earning more. That was a mouthful, but there we are. If any of you are finding yourself in an ebb, I hope this is encouraging to you.
- [55:21]
Jen
Yes. And please buy our book when it comes out because that's why we've taken a pay cut. We are writing a book.
- [55:29]
Jill
I need space to write that book.
- [55:32]
Jen
Yes. So thank you so much for listening. We love reading your kind reviews. We especially love this one from Danielle B. Said. She says Jen and Jill human equivalence of sunshine emoji. I have binged the Frugal Friends podcast for the last few months and absolutely adore Jen and Jill. They're thoughtful, engaging and have fabulous practical content. I love to listen to the podcast whenever I have a spare moment. And when I'm listening, I feel like I'm spending time with friends, good friends who are authentic and support me to be a good steward of my resources. I can't recommend this podcast enough and I'm always delighted when I discover new episodes are available. Love your incredible work, ladies.
- [56:12]
Jill
Thank you for that beautiful review, Danielle. Wow. If you are listening and you also enjoy this show, please do take a minute to leave a rating and a review. It helps us find other community members. Like that poll that we referenced at the beginning of this these are the type of people who are a part of our community sharing their real life experiences and journeys. So leave a rating. Get the friend letter frugalfriendspodcast.com, respond to our polls. We're going to talk about your answers on the show and hopefully give even more relevant feedback for you all.
- [56:46]
Jen
Yeah, see you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. Oh man, Jill so my birthday's in May, but last year I signed up for a car wash newsletter that gives you a free car wash on your birthday. And. And I wanted it immediately, so I said my birthday was in December. And so this year I've gotten another text. Stop it. I got another text that I have a free car wash this month and I really need it. I can't wait till May. But it's expiring on Friday. They just sent me a text and so on. No, on Saturday. So Friday I might. Kai does not like going through the car wash for some reason. I loved the car wash as a kid. He's not a big fan, but he's four. I guess he has got time, so I might have to go by myself.
- [57:55]
Jill
It can be scary. I mean, it is funny. It's a funny thing to lie about to me, but I guess you're still only gonna get one a year, so.
- [58:06]
Okay.
- [58:06]
Like, you're not cheating the system by getting more just funny.
- [58:11]
Jen
But I can put. I can join different car wash newsletters and say my birthday is in different times of the year.
- [58:20]
Jill
And I guess none of that.
- [58:21]
Jen
So I'm getting free car washes throughout the year.
- [58:25]
Jill
Oh, my gosh.
- [58:28]
Jen
That's why this tip is in the after show. It's not.
- [58:30]
Jill
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [58:31]
This is not a hack that we're necessarily encouraging for other people. I'm a little afraid of the car wash. Probably not for the same reasons as your four year old, but the last two times that I've gone, you know how you got to put your car in neutral? Well, it started to make my car go backwards in the thing and I almost ran into the person behind me because for some reason I can't totally remember, like, my brakes wouldn't work or I couldn't just, like accelerate. It wasn't allowing me to do that. And fast forward to I come home and tell Eric about this. He used to work at a car wash. One of his, like, 50,000 jobs he's had in his life.
- [59:18]
Jen
God bless him.
- [59:18]
Jill
Yeah, that happens. It's something with whatever the mechanism is that locks your car in place while you're in neutral. He's like, we would have accidents happen all the time in the car wash. None of them were like, you know, anything that you even needed to call an insurance company for because you're literally going like one mile an hour. But he's like, yeah, that. It just. It can glitch. That happens. I'm like, I did not love that experience. I'm not gonna do that again. And then it happened when Eric was driving. We were both in the car together. He kind of knew what to do to not run into the person behind him. I still don't remember what the trick was. Probably just flooring it out of there, but that's why I'm afraid of it. So I'm. I'm with you, Kai. Car washes are unpredictable and not worth lying about.
- [60:14]
Jen
I'm sorry, we have differing opinions. I'm still gonna go to the car wash. Like, how do you get your car clean? Like, do you do it by hand?
- [60:21]
Jill
No, we do go to the car wash. It's just now an EC drive.
- [60:25]
Jen
Yeah. All right.
- [60:29]
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- [60:59]
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