How to Stop Overspending in 2026 | 4 Steps to Go From Spender to Saver

Summary

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Frugal Friends Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: How to Stop Overspending in 2026 | 4 Steps to Go From Spender to Saver
Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Date: January 6, 2026
Special Guest: Rose Hahn (author & YouTuber)
Episode Focus: A practical, compassionate guide to transforming spending habits through a four-step framework grounded in values-based, skill-building strategies—plus some fun birthday-celebrating and a dash of humor.

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Episode Overview

This episode celebrates the one-year anniversary of Jen and Jill’s book, "Buy What You Love Without Going Broke," while offering listeners a distilled, actionable version of their four-step process to stop overspending and become a skilled, values-driven spender. Through personal stories, guest insights, and tangible exercises, the hosts emphasize that your spending does not define your identity. Listeners are guided through strategies for reframing their mindset, evaluating real spending patterns, finding a sustainable “radical middle” with money, and redesigning their environment to better support positive financial choices—all wrapped in relatable anecdotes and laughter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing Your Identity: Spending Is a Skill, Not Who You Are

• [00:57] Jen: Opens with a "Hot Take"—overspending is not inherently your fault; it’s not a character flaw but a skill gap.
• [04:07] Jen: Relates the lesson from the Disney movie "Brink": “Spending is what you do, not who you are.”

  “Spending is a skill, not an identity. It's not who you are. Because when we reframe something as a skill—as a behavior—it then becomes something easier to change. It is much harder to change something that feels like an identity, something that feels inherent.” ([05:04], Jen)

• [05:49] Jill: Pushes back on the myth of people being "spenders" or "savers" by nature. Spending and saving are both necessary skills.

2. Revealing Your Real Patterns: The 90-Day Transaction Inventory

• [10:27] Jill: Step Two introduces the 90-Day Transaction Inventory, a process of reviewing all recent purchases to uncover patterns and emotional triggers.
  • Columns: What you bought, What you felt, What you actually got from the purchase.
• [12:55] Jen: Gives a personal example with an iced coffee, showing how to assess alignment with values (comfort, joy, occasion) and distinguish emotionally driven vs. intentional spending.
• [16:32] Jill: Outcomes of this exercise include identifying impulse triggers, evaluating value alignment, and finding alternatives that might better satisfy needs.

3. Build Your Radical Middle Spending Plan

• [20:41] Jen: Step Three is about abandoning extreme approaches in favor of a sustainable "radical middle." Most online content pushes extremes, but the middle path works best long-term.

• [22:44] They introduce special guest Rose Hahn for additional perspective on sustainable financial habits.

  • [22:56] Rose: Describes starting her financial journey deeply in debt and initially resorting to extreme deprivation—only to rebound and compromise her goals.

    “Debt payoff and just financial freedom, it's a marathon, it's not a sprint. And your ability to keep running that marathon is what will allow you to reach financial freedom, whatever that means to you.” ([23:18], Rose Hahn)

  • [24:32] Rose: Practical example—ditching an $800 credit card annual fee in favor of value-aligned spending (a dream trip).

    “I would rather put that $800 towards this trip to Asia ... to really always think about: this doesn't feel worth it, but that would feel worth it.” ([25:21], Rose)

  • [27:12] Rose: Shares her move from financially optimized Mexico City living to a more expensive but happier life in LA, showing how money is a tool for fulfillment, not just numbers:

    “Money is for your happiness ... I had millions of dollars in a paid-off home in Mexico City, but I wasn't happy. So then what's the point?” ([29:50], Rose)

• [31:58] Jill: Emphasizes the importance of intentional, guilt-free spending—even when paying off debt.

  “If we're going to choose to do something, ... that's an okay thing to do with the money and enjoy it and embrace it.”

Practical Tools for the Radical Middle:

• 24-hour rule: Wait 24 hours before committing to non-essential purchases. ([34:09], Jill)

• Wish lists: Note future “wants” for later evaluation.

• Impulse buy parameters: Allow 1–3 impulse buys per grocery trip to provide flexibility while maintaining structure.

• Alternatives list: Identify non-financial ways to meet your needs (social, comfort, fun).

• [36:07] Jen:

  “Creativity thrives with certain barriers. When you can set certain parameters, then creativity has the opportunity to blossom.”

• [37:29] Jill: Example of a budget-friendly fun rule—$40 concert/activity ticket max led to richer local experiences.

4. Redesigning Your Environment (Internal & External)

• [39:37] Jen: Step Four is about shaping both your mind and surroundings to minimize the need for willpower:

  “If you want to stop overspending and you want to become a good spender and a good saver, you cannot rely on willpower. ...It comes down to your habits and changing your environment to support better habits.”

  • Internal: Question narratives like “I deserve it,” address unmet needs, and strengthen motivation through self-knowledge.
  • External:
    • Unsubscribe from tempting marketing emails and delete shopping apps.
    • Curate social feeds for inspiration, not FOMO.
    • Declutter your physical space to support clarity and reduce stress buys.
    • Re-examine your social environment: Invest more in reciprocal, supportive relationships that help rather than hinder your financial journey.

    “There are so many studies that have to do with a cluttered environment leading to not as well thought out decisions, not to mention financial decisions.” ([42:30], Jill)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Jen: “We are sick of people who are just on here to show us their hauls, to show us the latest product they bought on Amazon. Everyone is sick of it. You are not alone.” ([08:50])

Jill: “Money's a resource, it's a tool that we all should be learning how to spend that money well. And it should be guilt-free, it should be values aligned, it should be within your means.” ([06:30])

Rose Hahn: "When you spend money, really, really choose to feel good about what you're spending ... rather than always having this conflicting push and pull." ([30:32])

Jen: “We don't want to teach people how to make 2 pounds of chicken breast last all month. We want you to identify what truly lights you up and ... spend less on it overall so that you have money to buy that stuff in the future, in retirement.” ([36:42])

Jill: “Willpower does not work. Willpower fades day to day, throughout the day. Successful people do not typically have better willpower than unsuccessful people.” ([39:37])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:57] How overspending isn’t a personal failure
• [04:07] “Brink” story: separating spending from identity
• [05:49] Debunking “spender vs. saver”—it’s a skill
• [10:27] Step Two: Transaction inventory deep-dive
• [12:55] Real-life spending example (iced coffee)
• [16:32] What you’ll learn from a 90-day review
• [20:41] Step Three: The radical middle explained
• [22:56] Guest Rose Hahn on avoiding extremes
• [25:00] Real-life trade-offs for value-based spending
• [27:12] Why money should support happiness, not just optimization
• [31:58] Spending without guilt—practical frameworks
• [34:09] Tools: pause, wish lists, alternatives, creative restrictions
• [37:29] Hyperlocal fun: the $40 ticket rule
• [39:37] Step Four: Redesigning your environment (internal/external)
• [42:30] Physical, digital, social environmental upgrades
• [51:05] Lightning round: "How has your life changed since the book?"
• [53:51] Closing encouragement to live your values, not just save money

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Takeaways for Listeners

• You are not “bad with money” at your core. Anyone can develop the skill of spending and saving with intention and joy.
• Practice radical self-inventory. Reviewing your last 90 days of spending with an honest (but nonjudgmental) eye can illuminate where your money really goes—and why.
• Reject extremes. A sustainable plan—your “radical middle”—balances meaningful spending with financial progress and pleasure.
• Redesign your “default.” Don’t rely on willpower—set up your physical, digital, and social world to make good choices easier and create space for creativity and contentment.
• Embrace intentionality. Guilt-free spending is possible: If a purchase is aligned with your real needs and values, enjoy it!
• Community matters. Surround yourself with people (online and offline) who encourage wise, joyful spending.

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If You Only Have a Few Minutes, Listen to:

• [04:07–07:31] for setting the right foundation about identity and spending
• [10:27–16:32] for actionable transaction review strategies
• [22:44–31:58] for Rose Hahn’s real-world lessons about the sustainable middle ground
• [39:37–44:31] for upgrading your environment and practical barriers

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Signature Frugal Friends Tone: Practical, Encouraging, and a Little Silly

“Creativity thrives with certain barriers... If it’s not fun, it’s not Frugal Friends!”
([36:07], Jen and Jill)

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For More Information

• Buy the book: buywhatyoulovebook.com
• Follow the show: Subscribe, rate, and review on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts

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Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. Special thanks to Rose Hahn and all listeners celebrating financial and life wins, big or small!

Transcript

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[Jen]

How to stop overspending in 2026 four steps to go from Spender to Saver.

[Podcast Host Intro]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

Hot Take your overspending might not be your fault. We don't think it's a shortcoming or a lack of self discipline, but we do think that you have everything in your power to overcome it.

[Jill]

Today we're going to be walking you through the four steps to stop overspending. The same framework we talk about in our book and what we personally use ourselves. Because spoiler, we all deal with the temptation to overspend and it never goes away.

[Jen]

Welcome Frugal Friends. I'm Jen. I'm Jill and today is the first birthday of Jill and I's baby. Buy what you love without going broke.

[Jill]

Isn't she beautiful?

[Jen]

She came out a year ago today.

[Jill]

We kept her alive for a whole year.

[Jen]

She is still as beautiful as the day she was published and she's only gotten prettier. And today is a celebration. But we're not just going to celebrate and party. We're actually going to kind of distill a bit of the framework that is in the book and maybe entice you to read it in the first month of the New year. So also, Happy New Year.

[Jill]

Yeah, I I can't believe it's been a year and it's been so fun. What a journey that was. To think a year ago we were out there just slinging books, signing copies, talking. We did some TV appearances and a radio tour and all kinds of fun stuff.

[Jen]

Yeah. And if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see a little snippet of our book signing at Tombolo Books in St. Petersburg, Florida. That was an amazing experience. And the things you get to experience launching a book are are so unique to anything else like that you do on the Internet. And we are are so thankful to have had that experience. But so I want to start this episode off with a story That I start the. One of the first stories, I start the book off. And if you are a millennial, you may remember this story or have, you know, feelings about it. But in the Disney Channel original movie Brink, about a boy who is struggling to make it in skateboarding or skate. Roller skating.

[Jill]

I never seen it. I'm so sorry. Still haven't seen it. Even though I love this story.

[Jen]

All right, well, if you're a normal millennial who was raised by the TV like I was, then you know what he was riding on. But at the very end, he hears this advice from his dad. When they are skating for the championship and they're so stressed and they have made skating literally their entire identity, the entire movie, that is who they are. And then Brink's dad says, skating is what you do, not who you are. And he comes back to his team, and he's like, remember, guys, skating is what we do, not who we are. And it is this inspirational quote that has stuck with me, and it's why I don't skateboard, because it's what I do, not who I am.

[Jill]

It's not what you do.

[Jen]

It's not what I know I am. But so I really found inspiration from that to start the book off with, because we take on our identity from what we spend money on, and sometimes we don't know our identity enough. And so we are actively trying to buy it through things. And so the place that I want us to start is realizing spending is what you do, not who you are. And it is such a foundational truth to being able to change how you spend. And that's why stuff. Step one of our framework is to reframe your identity. Spending is a skill, not an identity. It's not who you are. Because when we reframe something as a skill, as a behavior, it then becomes something easier to change. It is much harder to change something that feels like an identity, something that feels inherent. And so that this, we feel, is the most crucial piece to everything we talk about ever on every episode.

[Jill]

Yeah, we're really pushing back against that myth that you're either a spender or a saver. We've been sold this binary that you either are just born into one of these two categories, when in reality, we all spend money and we all save, or we should be saving, and we have the capacity to do both, and we should be doing both. Certainly, the ways that we spend is going to look differently, but for the majority of us, we've never been taught how to spend money, and then that's why it can lead us to attaching these incorrect ideas about it and then it becoming our identity. If we just see ourselves overspending over consuming, it's how we're coping, then oh, I'm just a spender. Or you know, if we are really pushing against that and we don't even know what to do with money so we just hold hoard it. We say I'm, I'm a saver, I'm a saver by nature. When in reality money's a resource, it's a tool that we all should be learning how to spend that money well. And it should be guilt free, it should be values aligned, it should be within your means. But I think when we can kind of detach our identity from how we're saving or spending, that's going to be kind of the first step specifically to overcoming what? Overspending and defining overspending as just spending more on any given category than you want to be. Certainly of course more than you need to be. Like if you're overextending yourself, going into debt for a certain thing, that's overspending. But generally we kind of know what are we over consuming, what are we spending more on than we need? And how can we define our.

[Jen]

Enough overspending specifically is not again your identity? I think so often we judge ourselves for the way that we spend and it can come a lot from maybe childhood, maybe what we see on social media, it can come from a lot of different places. But and, and especially at the beginning of the year we judge ourselves for having overspent or over consumed around the holidays and we make these big, big resolutions that okay, this year is going to be different or maybe we've made that resolution so many times that it's just like, okay, I'm so sick of failing, I'm not even going to make the resolution anymore and I'm just going to see how this thing goes. And again, when you remove your spending or your overspending from your identity, it becomes easier to deal with because you can build a skill, you can break a habit, but when you are taking away, when it feels like you're taking away part of yourself, that is now something. We have two battles, right? We have to change our behavior and like who we are mentally. And so we've got to, we've got to separate it. You're not broken inherently you have have to learn a skill. There is a skill that you have not been taught and you have to learn and it is on you. It is your responsibility to Learn it because nobody's at this point in your life gonna teach it to you. So it is something you have to take upon yourself to learn from sources like Frugal Friends, podcasts. So you haven't subscribed yet, hit the subscribe button. Because that's exactly what we do here. And so it's also not something that everyone does. I know that social media can make it seem, seem like everyone is spending all this money on makeup and food and all these like random things, but those are algorithms. Those are not reality. There are a ton of people who are living within their means. Everyone and their mom is sick of influencer culture. Influencer culture is dying. We are sick of people who are just on here to show us their hauls, to show us the latest product they bought on Amazon. Everyone is sick of it. You are not alone. And it's also not something Overspending is not inevitable. Right? Prices are going up. We've, we've seen that. We did an episode, we just recorded an episode on groceries prices that's about to come out. And so we know for a fact it's not. Nobody can gaslight us. Prices have increased exponentially over the last six years. But just because of that, it doesn't mean overspending is inevitable. There are always ways that we can get creative to spend within our means and to increase our means.

[Jill]

And just as much as our spending or our saving doesn't need to be attached and shouldn't be attached to our identity, it can, I need to make this distinction. It can highlight and identify our values. It can help us to understand what is and isn't important depending on how we're spending money. And we can move, as we build the skill of values based spending, we can move the needle of our spending and saving to more closely align with our values. Still not attaching our identity to it like who we are as a person, but making sure that it feels congruent with our personhood. Which leads us to step number two, which is revealing your real patterns. So allowing your current spending to help you understand what are my values and do I feel like my spending is actually aligning with the things that I would say I value, but what's my behavior actually showing? Because we're not going to be able to intersect this behavior or change these habits or patterns until we understand some of the reasoning behind our spending. The best way to start and what we talk about early on in the book and kind of give a whole framework of how to do this is to do a 90 day transaction inventory to understand what those patterns are. And this is combining all of your transactions, bank statements, credit card statements, everything. Get it all into a spreadsheet, print it out, whatever you want to do, and then create a three column template where in the one column you're going to have everything you bought. So that's already being created by downloading.

[Jen]

All of your transactions, everything. Don't you take any of that Christmas stuff out.

[Jill]

It's all included in the 90 days. And then the next column is where you're going to write out what you felt about that transaction. If you can't remember, no problem. We're going through pretty fast on this. So as fast as you can remember, what was I feeling about this purchase or when the purchase was made? And then in the third column, you're going to be asking the questions, what I actually got from it. What did this purchase give to me? Was it comfort? Was it an escape? Was it belonging? And did it deliver on that thing? Like what was I anticipating getting from it? And did it provide that thing?

[Jen]

Yeah. So yesterday, for example, I went to the blend and I got an iced coffee. And that is very aligned with my values because I'm actually out of cold brew at home and I'm not making any cold brew stoke cold brew, which I love. I love making my iced coffee at home, but I don't make it. I don't DIY it that much. Right. I'm like a 75% DIYer. And please let me know in the comments if you, if you understand that because you're in the right place. We are all here. I'm not 100% DIYer. So I got a cold brew yesterday from the coffee shop. Totally aligned with my values. So what I would do if I found that in the, in my transactions, the blend would come up. I would say in the first column what I bought. I bought my iced coffee. I know my order by heart. It's a 16 ounce cold brew with two pumps of salted caramel flavoring and a splash of whole milk. I got it, girl. What I felt. I felt yum. Joy. Yes. I felt so good. And I think in this one we also want to do a. If we don't remember our feeling, maybe what prompted what happened right before? Like what prompted you to buy it? So, so I was at, I was working at the library because I also love libraries. And yesterday I had a very values filled day. I had a very stressful morning and then I tried to like fill it with values so that. Okay, I'm just Pulling that together right now, that was like an in the second, like, okay, I was, I had a stressful morning and I needed a treat and that was, that was it. And so what I actually got from it, I did get the comfort that I love because I don't go out for coffee often. I maybe will do once a week max, usually every other week. And so that by limiting that thing, I keep that special thing special. And so that was a truly values aligned impulse buy. I wasn't planning to go yes or not everything has to be planned, but again in my budget. And so that's how that kind of would align up in a 90 day transaction inventory. So sometimes if I could give you a couple other things that might go in those columns, causes we see for like what you felt or why you made those purchases. Sometimes it's emotional regulation. So I was avoiding feeling a feeling or avoiding doing something or I was celebrating something. Things can be celebrated and you don't have to spend money. Again, that's not. I know it's not bad, but it's not a necessity. Right? Hidden money beliefs. So this could be something from scarcity or avoidance, social pressure. So maybe family was forcing you to like give to a family member or to buy something work you felt pressured to going out to eat with coworkers. None. Again, none of these things are negative, inherently negative. But we do want to identify them to see if there's ways around them or sales psychology. So definitely check out our episode on how social media makes you spend money you don't have. But that can be a lot of it too. You're scrolling social media, you're around and you see really good marketing that causes you to then spend money.

[Jill]

Yeah, a couple of things will happen when we do this 90 day transaction inventory. We will be able to more easily identify what are our triggers for impulse spending and overspending.

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[Jill]

That's primarily what this episode is about is how do we reign in the spending on the things that we wish we weren't spending so much on. We really have to identify, well, when is that happening, what's behind that happening? Because it's going to be different for all of us. Maybe it could be just a habit triggered by the time of day. It could be a specific emotion, it could be a specific friend group, it could be a variety of things. So kind of what Jen already laid out for us going through and figuring out what is it for me, what's kind of my kryptonite when it comes to impulse or overspending. But Then we're also going to become more clear on what did we feel really good about that one coffee that felt really great. That dinner out with friends actually did get me some of that. That time of belonging and connection. And it can also help us to realize what did we enjoy but what might we be able to replace that with and get even more of what we value? Those are like a couple of steps down the road from it. But what I'm trying to highlight is what all comes to the surface, what we can expect happens when we review the 90 days. I know it can sound like a lot, but it doesn't have to take a ton of time. And the learning that we will experience about ourselves is going to be so important. Important for the foundation that we lay and what we're able to do. Then from there it's an it's. It's like the only launching point because we can't start with math. We gotta start with the habits that we formed our emotions around money and our current behaviors before we can actually.

[Jen]

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[Jen]

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[Jen]

Quince.com frugal so step three is to build your radical middle spending plan. So values based spending is not about extremes. And so much of what we want to do to reach a goal is we want to go extreme in we feel like we're extreme in one direction. We need to course correct by going extreme in the other direction. But we know that that never works out. There is a place in the middle and it's hard to find because all the content you will consume online for the most part is how to be in the extremes. Extreme frugality. Save as much as possible, spend a hundred dollars a week on groceries. Right. The hard thing and the right thing and the sustainable thing is to find your radical middle. And so we for the book, while we were writing it, we did something fun. We interviewed a bunch of our friends because we wanted their perspectives on spending money. And so we wanted for this episode to bring somebody that we didn't get to interview for the book. So this is a fresh perspective on spending that. And it's our friend Rose Hahn. She's if you're on YouTube, you know she's a big YouTuber. She just had a book come out called Add a zero and it is a fantastic guide from literally going from negative net worth to a million plus by just simply adding a zero to every goal. It's so fun. And yesterday, as of this episode coming up, yesterday was her birthday.

[Jill]

So many birthdays.

[Jen]

So it's Rose's birthday.

[Jill]

Happy birthday Rose.

[Jen]

It's buy what you love's birthday.

[Jill]

Happy birthday.

[Jen]

This is the birthday episode. So this was the perfect little interview. Rose has some really Great stories that really do emphasize how important it is to find the radical middle.

[Jill]

So, Rose, welcome. We are so curious to hear from you. In your journey to becoming a millionaire, did you ever find yourself practicing extreme frugality?

[Rose Hahn]

When I started my journey, I was a hundred thousand dollars in debt. So I was definitely freaking out and thinking I need to pay off this debt quickly and I better start throwing as much money as I could. And I was being very conscious, and I was tracking how much debt I was paying off and trying to throw as much money towards it. But what I found was that I would go really extreme. Like, I would throw a thousand dollars towards my debt at the beginning of the month and then try to spend and live on what's left. And inevitably I would kind of put it on my credit card because I really want to go out and enjoy my life a little. So I always say debt payoff and just financial freedom. It's a. It's a marathon. It's not a sprint. And your ability to keep running that marathon is what will allow you to reach financial freedom, whatever that means to you. If you burn yourself out, you're not going to reach it. So contrary to it being counterproductive, like spending on yourself, enjoying your life a little bit along the way is part of how you get out of debt and how you reach financial freedom. So I really. I think that's one. One thing that I really want to share is in order to reach financial freedom, you have to allow yourself to spend a little bit on what you love. And there really is an art to that. You know, I don't want you to go spend and say, yolo, I'll get out of debt one day, but I gotta enjoy my life along the way. It's a. It's a real skill.

[Jen]

Do you have any, like, personal experiences where you can identify, like, on your journey, like, okay, yeah, this was a. Like a wasted expense or. This was absolutely worth it.

[Rose Hahn]

The other day, I was going through my expenses, and because I'm not perfect and I'm always recalibrating too, I found that I was going to soon have a charge of $800 for my credit card annual fee. It's the Chase Sapphire Reserve. It's the status card. I thought everyone has this card. I should also get this card. It's this really nice metal navy blue card. It looks cool.

[Jen]

I do have it.

[Jill]

Yeah, I get it.

[Rose Hahn]

And apparently has all these travel benefits that will just make you feel like super elite. Like, you've made it. And after a year, I Realized I haven't used any of those benefits hardly. I used some points, but it's not worth paying $800 a year for. And I really had to think about it because I was like, but I really like this card and everybody has it. But then I thought, but what am I really getting out of this? $800 a year. I could get the same card, the sapphire preferred, which has a hundred dollars annual fee and will get me the same points, which are the only thing that I really use. And I would rather put that $800 towards this trip to Asia that we're going to go to next year. And maybe, maybe I can even put that towards getting ourselves a business class flight so we are not in economy on a long Asia flight. Like, to really always think about this doesn't feel worth it, but that would feel worth it. And to know that there's always a trade off and then being empowered to make that trade off yourself, that actually feels really good.

[Jill]

It's so cool how you're describing that. The skills that you built back when you were first starting are still skills that are serving you today. And I think that speaks volumes to the sustainability of what you're talking about. And I think you've already highlighted how important that is. Like describing this journey not as a sprint, but a marathon. And even then I'm like, a marathon can still be done in a day and our financial goals are going to take much longer than a day. And so I'm curious for you how you held that tension of achieving financial goals but still, still living life because there is that draw to the extremes. Either I'm going to throw a thousand dollars to this or I'm, you know, to this financial goal or I'm going to blow it all because I deserve it. Like, how do we, how do we find that tension, that radical middle for the sustainability that the financial goals require? What did that look like for you?

[Rose Hahn]

Well, one recent story that I have is I moved to LA from Mexico City. And when I lived in Mexico City, I was there primarily because I love Mexico. I learned Spanish Since I was 18 and I had friends there. But also I was trying out this whole financially savvy lifestyle of, you know, make a good income but live in a low cost of living country. And I bought a condo in cash because it's way more affordable there. And so I had super low expenses. I owned my own condo. And my, I had all this discretionary income. I was like, and I was a millionaire. So living the life, I had it all down Financially, but I was actually not happy. I mean, after, after a year or two, I realized Mexico City just wasn't my forever home. And I kept having this notion of like, maybe I could move to la because first of all, my boyfriend lives there, so we're long distance and I like the beach and all these things, but literally for the longest time, I didn't even consider it an option because I'm like, oh, Louisiana is like the most, one of the most expensive places to live in the world. As a financially savvy person, that would be stupid of me to even consider living there. Also high tax, right? And I was, I had residency out of a no income tax state in Texas. Like, I'd done all the things to be smart about money on paper, but then one day I was driving down PCH on in Malibu to like a female entrepreneur mastermind, and it was in this gorgeous Airbnb mansion on the beach. And I was like talking to all these women and I just had this insight like, oh, you need to be in la. Not only do you love the beach, but it just really expands your idea of what's possible for your business and life. And your boyfriend is here and all the music festivals and camping and nature, things that you love to do are right here. What are you doing, Rose? Move here immediately. So once I made the decision, that was it. I was like, I'm moving. And I told my accountant and she was like, okay, like, not great tax wise, but, but we're, we're gonna support you on whatever you want to do. And, and, and I found an apartment that was, the rent was way more than, you know, the $200 in HOA fees I was paying in my, on my Mexico City condo. And every, every part of that move was what you would say going backwards financially, spending, spending way more, increasing my lifestyle. But I'm so much happier now. So this, it was just a really good reminder that money is for your happiness. It's money by itself.

[Sarah]

Is.

[Rose Hahn]

Doesn't matter. I had millions of dollars in a paid off home in Mexico City, but I wasn't happy. So then what's the point?

[Jill]

You're talking about a journey with money that has helped you understand it correctly and know yourself, your own values and what you want to spend on. And I think that's the biggest distinction that we've also been trying to make is that it's not. Managing money well isn't just about hoarding it, it's about understanding how to spend it well. And, and it sounds like you've really built that skill. And I'd be so curious to know what you would say to your younger self about learning the skill of spending.

[Rose Hahn]

It's always easy to say this in hindsight, but I would tell her, it's going to be okay, Rose, relax. Because like I said, I was freaking out that I was in a hundred thousand of debt. And I was so obsessed with that number. Like, must get that negative net worth to zero. And once I got it to zero, I was like, make it get a little bit higher. 10,000, your first, a hundred thousand. And that focus on net worth, that's. That part is important. I'm glad that I did that. And everyone needs to focus on their net worth. It needs to be going up. But how fast it goes up, like, don't. Don't sacrifice your life so that you can get to X network faster because you're going to actually lose your life along the way. So what I would tell her is when you spend money, really, really choose to feel good about what you're spending, that you're spending it, rather than always having this conflicting push and pull of, I'm going to spend this money, but I also know I should pay that towards debt, but I'm going to spend it anyway. So then you don't really enjoy that trip or massage because half of your mind is like, I should have put it towards this. If you're gonna spend it, be intentional about it. Make and make the choice like, I'm going to spend this money on this thing that would make my life happy and be really enjoyable and I'm just gonna be 100% behind it and fully enjoy every minute.

[Jill]

Something I really appreciate is being able to remove the guilt from spending. I think that that is so crucial to this ra radical middle spending plan that is going to look different for all of us. But I love how Rose is describing here that if we're going to choose to do something, let's say in the midst of our debt payoff that our spending plan is still going to include the occasional massage or a weekend vacation. Plan it. That's fine. Do it and know that that's an okay thing to do with the money and enjoy it and embrace it. I think that finding those ways to shed the guilt and the shame about just spending any amount of money if it's not on your financial goal is not going to be a life well lived because you do still have to live in the midst of these goals that do take a very long time. And so I think for us, as we figure out, well, what does this look like for us? Because we have to do the hard work of figuring it out for ourselves. No one can give you the exact blueprint for it, but it does. First, start with defining what do you love? What do you value? Again, that 90 day transaction inventory is going to be really helpful with that. What did I feel so, so good about? Those are going to be the last things to cut. Figure out how do we keep that in the spending plan? And secondly, what don't you love? What can you easily say no to? Those are, that's where we're going to start with. If we can look through the spending inventory and say, oh, I actually don't love going out to the bar with my friends. Like I don't love drinking at night. I can never hear anybody. It's not that fun.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Done.

[Jill]

We're done with it. We easy to cut it.

[Jen]

Yeah. Find an alternative things that we have taken for granted. We start to open our eyes and identify like, is this a habit or is this something I truly enjoy? And then we can, then we can be there and be present and not feel guilty about it. Once we truly identify, if it's something you love or something you don't love.

[Jill]

Yeah. Then we can create barriers to protect our own selves from ourselves, from doing some of these purchases, making some of these non values purchases. You know the classics. Give ourselves a 24 hour rule. If something looks really freaking cool, fine, put it on the wish list, put it in the cart, but wait 24 hours and see am I still as stoked about this as I was 24 hours ago? Most likely not. That's going to give us the pause we need to keep money in our wallets. Create wish list. So before even putting it in your cart, you see something, add it to a note in your phone of oh, those earrings from such and such website, that bathing suit, this towel, whatever it is, and revisit the wish list periodically and see does that still get me. Is that still something that I want to be able to spend some of my discretionary money on? If so, great, you've given yourself a pause. If not, remove it. And then also create opportunities for spending. Like even when I go to the grocery store, I make my list, but I usually allow myself one to three impulse buys. Once I, once I go in, I know that something's gonna capture me, but I create that parameter for how many impulse buys am I gonna allow for myself? Or you could create a mon and I'm going to add like a third adjacent tip with this is to create an alternatives list. So being able to identify not just about how do I say no to myself, how do I make myself wait until I buy more? But what can I do instead? What else is fun? If I'm looking for belonging, if I'm looking to feel good about myself, how can I build a skill? How can I invest in, in something like with time and energy, not just money, towards the things that really light me up. How can I spend time with people without spending money? And we might actually discover more fun things and learn more about ourselves.

[Jen]

Creativity is. It thrives with certain barriers. When you can set certain parameters, then creativity has the opportunity to pull, to blossom. When there's no limits, then we see like in the corporate world, there becomes all of this waste and there's no innovation. But when there are parameters, whether forced or preferably self imposed, then creativity is also a skill. And we can build that skill of creativity to get more of what we love when, while actually spending less on it. And it is so fun to watch all of you who have been Frugal friends listeners over the year, over the years, tell us how you're spending less while actually getting more of what you love. And that's why we're here. We don't want to teach people how to make 2 pounds of chicken breast last all month. We want you to identify what truly lights you up and we want you to get more of it and at the same, and just spend less on it overall so that you have money to buy that stuff in the future, in retirement.

[Jill]

I have an example. There was a point when I wanted to really set as much money aside for renovations on our house. And so I was trying to cut spending wherever possible, but still have fun. Because that's always the goal, right? Not just deprivation.

[Jen]

If it's not fun, it's not Frugal Friends.

[Jill]

And ain't that the truth. And so one of the parameters that I set for myself, my context for creativity was I'm not going to spend more than $40 on a ticket, like an activity or like a concert ticket or that kind of a thing, which I know sound.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Well, I don't know.

[Jen]

You're.

[Jill]

You're our frugal friends. That probably doesn't sound too crazy, but.

[Jen]

We know that they can be.

[Jill]

Tickets are expensive.

[Jen]

Most tickets for anything except a movie are $100 exactly. And movie tickets are $40.

[Jill]

At this point, obviously your girl's not going to see Taylor Swift. But what I found was I was then going to free comedy shows, local Events, local mu musicians, music shows, concerts. Thank you, brain. And spending such little amounts of money and being exposed to new artists, people who are doing really great stuff, really.

[Jen]

Really great music and hyperlocal events like meeting people who live in this area are invested here.

[Jill]

Yeah. And that was a parameter for a specific amount of time for a specific goal. But guess what? That's still a parameter for me because it works. I found out there is plenty for me to do within this price rang. I actually discover more about my area. I meet cool people. I am not just throwing money because I can't be creative in figuring out what's happening around me and just spending more money than I need to because it's what's easier. So that's an example of something that has stuck. Not all of these parameters are going to stick, but it does allow us to learn more and experience more.

[Jen]

Which leads into the fourth step, which is redesigning your environment. And so this is both internal and external. So some of these barriers are kind of internal and external. But essentially, if you want to stop overspending and you want to become a good spender and a good saver, you cannot rely on willpower. Willpower does not work. Willpower fades day to day, throughout the day. Successful people do not typically have better willpower than unsuccessful people. It comes down to your habits and changing your environment to support better habits. And so in the book we kind of met like, the changing your environment comes down to simplifying, curating your community, and then just like bringing it all together. But to distill it down, there's an internal piece and an external piece. So internally we need to challenge our internal narratives. Just like at the beginning where we have to be like, spending is a skill, not a personality trait. We have to challenge the internal narratives that push us over the edge to buying something. So these I deserve it. It's only $20. It's such a great deal. So challenging these internal narratives, strengthening our internal motivation. So we use something called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You may have heard of it. And at the very tippy top is self actualization. And ideally, you get all of the base needs before self actualization. You can read about in the book. But it's the self actualization part is not like, I don't know, sounds like you're going on a yoga retreat to like find yourself in meditation. That's not what it is. It's being able to live in your most authentic self as much as possible and to know your most authentic self. And so we need to strengthen our internal, internal motivation. The way we do that is finding our authentic self. Because we don't do things that we don't want to do or don't have a reason to do. We need to find a reason to do it. And that comes through knowing who we are and why we're doing something. And then lastly we need to meet those lower needs. So below it is, you know, food, shelter, safety, belonging, self respect. And we and we need to look be looking for these things in a way where we don't need to spend as much money on them.

[Jill]

And the external environment this would have to do with what are the things that are around us in our physical environments that might be causing us to spend unnecessarily so we can declutter some of our digital temptations. Some of that has to do with unsubscribing from emails that you might be particularly susceptible to opening and leading to a purchase or deleting certain apps off of our phones or even curating our algorithms to be feeding us the type of information that's going to propel us on our different journeys and the goals that we've set for us rather than kind of hold us back or feed us lies or normalize a type of consumption that we don't want to and can't keep up with. But also considering our physical environment when it comes to simplifying, maybe even minimizing, there are so many studies that have to do with a cluttered environment leading to not as well thought out decisions, not to mention financial decisions. So when we are able to make the places that we inhabit feel more calm, where we are able to then more easily focus on what's actually important, we're going to be better equipped to engage in the things that are really life giving to us. We're going to be less likely to stress by impulse by that kind of a thing. And finally looking at our community and those around us. So are they supporting us or are they detrimental towards the goals that we currently have? And we're not talking about just like dropping people. You can keep your friends, but it's worth identifying who is more life giving than others. And how can I make sure that I am positioned out my time in a way that I'm experiencing a good amount of time with those where the relationship is reciprocal.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

And not as much time or energy going to the relationships where maybe it's only built around whether or not I'm going to go out with them and spend a bunch of money. Maybe they only Want to be with me because of whatever they, they think it means for image or their network.

[Jen]

Or, or because I'm just available.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Right.

[Jen]

I'm always there. I'm always available. So I'm the one that gets called.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Jill]

So the people where, where there's values, alignment and encouragement of one another and reciprocity in relationship and you just feel really good and the sense of belonging with them. Invest more in those relationships. Find those people, Spend time with them in the flesh.

[Jen]

Yeah. Like be able to touch them.

[Jill]

Look it, we're not. AI could AI do that?

[Jen]

AI could never. AI could never.

[Jill]

All of our fingers are here.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Jen]

There's only four fingers and one thumb. And you know what else is an AI besides the book that we wrote.

[Jill]

As humans, which you can [e-mail] it's the bill of the Week.

[Podcast Host Intro]

That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck Bills, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton. This is the Bill of the Week.

[Sarah]

Old friends. This is Sarah down in Austin, Texas. My Bill of the week is one that I stopped paying and that is I no longer buy menstruation products because my work has them in the bathroom. And I use them because, one, it saves me money. No, they're not the brand that I love. But also, menstruation products can be kind of expensive to buy every month. And so I'm happy to get these for free. And two, I love the service that my employer has decided to provide us. And so to keep that going and kind of like vote with my dollar, in a sense, I have to use the products to make sure the products continue to be available to all the menstruating people in our office. So I'm very happy to save the 20 odd dollars a month it costs.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Me.

[Sarah]

To buy these products and also just feel like I love this service and I think every employer should offer this to their employees. And by using them, I'm kind of like voting with my actions.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

All right, thanks.

[Jen]

Bless EMS Upon Sarah. Bless EMS upon.

[Jill]

Listen, we didn't choose this life, okay? It happens to us.

[Jen]

And you know what? We don't get any more Christmas bonuses from our employers. So.

[Jill]

Yeah, why did they go away?

[Jen]

There you go.

[Jill]

They don't exist anymore for anybody. And it's so sad.

[Jen]

Bless doing it for the greater good.

[Jill]

I love also, though, to Imagine Sarah, like your other co workers who are like going into the bathroom just being like where did they all go again?

[Jen]

Hopefully you're not taking all of them at the same time. Like you're leaving some. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also like most of you're at, you know, your work all day. That's where most of your changing out happens.

[Jill]

It's so true.

[Jen]

So you don't really have to take home, you know much.

[Jill]

Well voting with your actions. I'm here for it.

[Jen]

I appreciate it so much Sarah. You're. You're my kind of frugal friend.

[Jill]

Yes. Bless if you all are listening men straight for free. You want to talk to us about it?

[Jen]

No?

[Jill]

Or if your name is Bill and you have no idea what we're talking about or you just want to leave us a bill frugalfriendspodcast.com bill leave it for us. We can't wait.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

One of my big money goals for 2026 is getting Eric more involved with our finances. I don't want everything to live in my head anymore. I want us both to be able to see what's going on, talk about goals, and make decisions together without it turning into a stressful check in.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Managing your money doesn't have to be a struggle this year. Monarch is an all in one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, budgeting accounts, investment net worth, and future planning together in one dashboard on your laptop or phone. It's a really simple way to start fresh after the chaos of the holidays.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Monarch makes everything shared and visible. You can look at the same dashboard as your partner, see where your money's going, and track goals together. The weekly money recaps and insights help you catch patterns early, and the AI assistant makes it easy to ask questions without you feeling judged, which keeps us proactive instead of reactive.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

This new year, achieve your financial goals for good. Monarch is an all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use code [e-mail] for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code FRUGAL. I was watching our kids play in the backyard the other day and it hit me how much we've built together. The life, the family, the little routines that actually make me feel proud. Moments like that make you realize just how important it is to protect everything you've worked for.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

The weight of protecting your loved ones and planning for the future can feel overwhelming, but that's where policygenius really helps. It's an online marketplace that lets you compare quotes from some of America's top insurers side by side for free, so you can find coverage that fits your life and your budget.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

I love that their licensed team works with you, answering questions, handling paperwork, and guiding you to the policy that actually meets your needs. It makes something that usually feels stressful feel completely doable, and it gives you real peace of mind knowing your family is protected.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

With Policygenius, real users have gotten 20 year $2 million policies for just $53 a month. Ease the weight of protecting a wonderful Life. Head to policygenius.com to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com and now it's time for the lightning round.

[Jen]

How has your life changed since the book was published?

[Jill]

Go for it.

[Jen]

Okay. Well, I'm just a super huge celebrity now. I get stopped all the time. And recognizing you, they'd be like.

[Jill]

Because of.

[Jen]

They'd be like, oh, my God. You, this. You.

[Jill]

They pull out their books from their purses and their wallets and their back pockets, and they're like, what?

[Jen]

Yeah, Is that you? I actually went to Barnes and Noble, and I was like, can I sign my book? This is my book. And they're like, oh, yeah, you just have to show, like, proof that it's your book. And so I, like, pull out my id And I was like, oh, like, I guess I could have just shown my, like, pictures in the book. I forgot. But no, like, really, the only thing that's changed is I get to sign it at stores and I look for it in the library, and that is absolutely it.

[Jill]

Do you want to know?

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

I hadn't really thought about this until now.

[Jen]

Oh, your life has changed.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Jill]

But I'm gonna say it. Here we go. Because at the end of the day, and I mean, it's not bad.

[Jen]

I just feel like you're too famous now.

[Jill]

No, it does feel like an accomplishment, right? It. Like, this was a big deal we published with HarperCollins. And I'm still. I'm like, how did that. How did we do that?

[Jen]

That is a big goal.

[Jill]

How did we write it? How did it happen? And now it's been a year. And you know what? There are days where I'm just like, what am I going to keep doing with the rest of my working years? Like, what? What's gonna. And sometimes I'm like, you know what? I wrote a book. If I do nothing else, if this whole thing goes to crap. I can say I wrote a book.

[Jen]

Yeah. You are a published author.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Jill]

So you know what? That's actually life changing. That feels life changing.

[Jen]

Truly. Yes, I can.

[Jill]

I feel the permission to quit whenever I want. Cause I did a big thing once.

[Jen]

Jill tried to fire me earlier today.

[Sarah]

Did I?

[Jen]

Yeah. You said something.

[Jill]

Oh, no. You were like, oh, I can help with that. Is that what we're doing? And I was like, no, no, you've done enough. But you took it as like, you've done enough.

[Jen]

You've done enough. Leave the company.

[Jill]

That's not how I meant it. But I love that that was your interpretation. Wow. We were on a book together and we still don't. We still can't communicate.

[Jen]

And thank you for. For being here, for listening to the podcast, for reading the book, and for supporting us. And, you know, we don't ask for a lot of. We don't. I guess we ask for a lot, but we don't sell a lot. We sell the book. We would love for. If you want to become a better spender and support us at the same time. But honestly, we would never just ask. Ask for support because we're nice people. We are nice people, but we want to help you spend better and live the life that you were meant to live. Because you only get one life here. Right. And so we don't want you to be stressed about money. And we also don't want you to spend on nothing and experience nothing. And so that's what we're here to try to do. And so if you want that message to reach more people, subscribing to frugal friends on YouTube, leaving a comment on the video, leaving a rating and review. If you're listening on Spotify, Spotify or Apple Podcasts and heading to buywhatyoulovebook.com and picking up a copy if you want to have your own, or getting it from the library and reading it, those are. Those are all the ways to help us help you and help more people.

[Jill]

But you could also leave a review of the book.

[Jen]

We can, like Michelle did on Amazon. It's five stars. This book was entertaining and easy to digest. I've been a Frugal Friends podcast listener for years now, and I still learned new concepts with this book. Jen and Jill offer tangible tips and a call to action at the end of every chapter. I love their simple approach to managing, spending and building a life that aligns with your values while still offering grace for our humanity. An easy read that I'll be revisiting on a regular basis.

[Jill]

Thanks, Michelle. Thanks for showing us your love. If you're watching, show us some love, you know how. See you next time.

[Jen]

Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

[Jill]

Wow. One year.

[Jen]

How crazy. It was so crazy, like leading up to the book launch and to think, think that like I had, I had a friggin seizure like leading up to it. And I cannot believe it's been out for a year.

[Jill]

Yeah, yeah. And then to hear how well it's doing. It was purchased in Spain. Okay.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

I just. Oh, really?

[Jen]

And Mexico, I thought.

[Jill]

Yeah, I thought South America. But like purchased to be able to translate it into Spanish.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jill]

So tbd. But that's going to be happening, which is so fun. I wonder if they're going to use AI to make our voices talk in Spanish so it's still us reading it. Probably not, but that'd be fun.

[Jen]

That would be fun.

[Jill]

It's possible that technology does exist.

[Jen]

Yeah. I will not be reading it in Spanish.

[Jill]

No. Because we can't. But. But AI could use our voices and do it.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

So.

[Jen]

Yeah. Let us know what you think of the book and if you have used anything from the book in your daily life, leave a review.

[Jill]

That'd be so nice.

[Capital Group Podcast Host]

What does leadership really look like? On the Power of Advice, a new podcast series from Capital Group. You'll hear from athletes, entrepreneurs and executives who've led on the field, in the boardroom and in their communities. It's not about titles, it's about impact. Discover what drives them and the advice they carry forward. Subscribe and start listening today. Published by Capital Client Group Inc.