Managing Financial Regret

Summary

Frugal Friends Podcast Episode Summary: "Managing Financial Regret"

Release Date: February 11, 2025
Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Platform: iHeartPodcasts
Podcast Description: Controlling your spending is hard to do. On every episode of Frugal Friends, we'll try to help you gain a little more control on one aspect of the countless directions your money is being pulled toward through frugality and a few laughs. If you're trying to save money, spend less, adopt minimalism, pay off debt, or reach financial independence, we think you'll like the show.

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1. Introduction to Financial Regret

Timestamp: [02:46]

In this episode of the Frugal Friends Podcast, hosts Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni delve into the pervasive issue of financial regret. Inspired by a chapter from their book, Love Without Going Broke, they seek to explore the emotions and decisions that haunt individuals across various life stages.

Jen Smith:
"We're talking about financial regrets and this could include regrets both of decisions we have made, things that have happened and then things that didn't happen that we wished had happened or happened to us that we couldn't control."
[03:19]

2. The Prevalence of Financial Regret

Timestamp: [06:55]

Jen introduces findings from a NerdWallet survey, revealing that nearly 70% of Americans experienced financial regrets in 2024. The primary regrets center around not saving for emergencies and insufficient savings for financial goals.

Jen Smith:
"Nearly 7 in 10 Americans have financial regrets within 2024. The top regrets being not saving for emergencies and not saving enough for financial goals."
[06:55]

Jill adds that these feelings are compounded by current economic pressures, such as job choices and earnings constraints, highlighting that financial regrets cut across all age groups.

Jill Sirianni:
"There's a lot of overspending regrets. Most of them are regrets for not saving or not doing something."
[08:45]

3. Common Types of Financial Regrets

Timestamp: [09:55]

The discussion shifts to specific areas where individuals commonly overspend, leading to regret. Jen lists overspending categories like entertainment, credit card debt, travel, and housing costs.

Jen Smith:
"Overspending on entertainment is the top one. That's actually the third regret."
[09:55]
"Taking on too much credit card debt, overspending on travel, overspending on monthly housing costs, overspending on an event which is also entertainment."
[10:16]

Jill observes that while people express a preference for spending on experiences over material possessions, it is these very experiences that often lead to regret due to their higher costs.

Jill Sirianni:
"Even though we say we want to spend on more events, entertainment, travel than on things, most of our money, regret and overspending is on those things."
[10:46]

4. Coping with Financial Regret

Timestamp: [19:00]

The hosts transition to strategies for managing financial regret, referencing an article from Verywell Mind. They critique the article's action-based approach and emphasize the importance of emotional and cognitive processing.

a. Self-Acceptance

Timestamp: [25:14]

Jen Smith:
"Practicing self-acceptance and really exploring, what am I feeling about this? How am I defining this as a mistake or a failure."
[25:14]

Jen underscores that accepting one’s feelings doesn't negate the desire to make better choices in the future. It’s about recognizing personal growth and the ability to make improved decisions moving forward.

b. Forgiving Yourself

Timestamp: [27:47]

Jill shares her personal struggle with debt from student loans, reflecting on societal stigmas that labeled debt as "dumb."

Jill Sirianni:
"I took on student loans to better my future. But I regretted that during that scenario. But I felt conflicted because I was like, I needed to take on loans, nobody saved for me for college."
[27:47]

Through self-reflection, Jill learned to forgive herself, realizing that her actions were necessary steps toward her education and future, despite the financial burden.

c. Apologizing for Mistakes

Timestamp: [28:29]

The hosts discuss the importance of acknowledging and apologizing for financial mistakes, especially when others are affected. This act can help clear negative emotions and reinforce a commitment to better financial practices.

d. Taking Action

Timestamp: [29:38]

Jill emphasizes the necessity of taking proactive steps to address financial regrets in healthy ways.

Jill Sirianni:
"Is it putting $50 into a sinking fund? Is it putting $50 into your IRA? Is it upping your 401k contribution by 3%?"
[29:38]

She advises listeners to engage in small, manageable actions that contribute to financial stability without being overwhelming.

e. Reframing

Timestamp: [30:59]

Jen introduces the concept of cognitive reframing, encouraging listeners to alter their perceptions of past mistakes to foster resilience and forward movement.

Jen Smith:
"So changes the way that we think about things and what has happened in the past can help us to even view regret in a different way."
[30:59]

5. Personal Stories and Insights

Timestamp: [27:47]

Both hosts share personal anecdotes related to financial regrets. Jen reflects on her early career choices, acknowledging her regrets about not building a more lucrative career path during her twenties. Conversely, Jill discusses her journey with student loans, ultimately finding peace through self-forgiveness and reframing her financial decisions.

Jen Smith:
"I wish that I had known more about student loans same and the loans that I didn't necessarily have to take out. But similar journey to you."
[27:47]

Jill Sirianni:
"Life might have looked different if I had chosen some different things. But also what was gained as a result."
[28:47]

6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: [33:01]

Jen and Jill wrap up the episode by reinforcing the importance of self-kindness and the ongoing nature of managing financial regrets. They encourage listeners to adopt a compassionate view of their financial pasts and to focus on incremental improvements.

Jen Smith:
"Regret keeps us stuck, but being able to reframe it shows us the pathway forward."
[33:01]

Jill Sirianni:
"The biggest solution to the regret that you're feeling in all of this is to just do a little, to do what's in your capacity and try to alter some of the things in your life to be able to do more, you know, 1% more every month."
[35:13]

Key Takeaways

• Prevalence of Regret: A significant majority of Americans experience financial regrets, primarily due to lack of savings.
• Common Regrets: Include overspending on experiences like entertainment and travel, and accumulating credit card debt.
• Coping Strategies: Emphasize self-acceptance, forgiveness, proactive action, and cognitive reframing.
• Personal Growth: Learning from past financial mistakes fosters resilience and better financial decision-making in the future.
• Incremental Improvement: Small, consistent actions can lead to substantial progress in managing financial regrets.

Notable Quotes

• Jen Smith:
  "You will always regret what you don't do more than what you do all of the other."
  [08:45]

• Jill Sirianni:
  "We need to learn how to make mistakes. We have to learn how to take them as learning experiences instead of, like, failures in and of themselves."
  [24:08]

---

For listeners seeking to delve deeper into managing financial regrets and improving their financial wellbeing, this episode offers both statistical insights and personal narratives, coupled with actionable strategies to move beyond past financial decisions with grace and intention.

Transcript

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[A]

Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[B]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast My name is Jen.

[A]

My name is Jill.

[B]

And today we are talking about the feeling of the financial decisions you can't change that you've already made, but are haunting you. We're talking about financial regrets and this.

[A]

Could include regrets both of decisions we have made, things that have happened and then things that didn't happen that we.

[B]

Wished had happened or happened to us that we couldn't control. Cause even then sometimes there can be regret of the way you handled it. And I have a lot of feelings about this topic. And so Jill, I'm glad you proposed it.

[A]

I'm surprised we haven't done this yet, but it was inspired by one of the chapters in the book that we just wrote by what yout Love Without Going Broke, where as I was writing about contentment, realizing that there were some things that I wished could have been different about my money and choices, and realizing I'm not alone in this. A lot of us can feel this way at every stage of life. So we're gonna, we're gonna give ourselves space to explore that and hopefully some tools to be able to move forward in kindness. But first, this episode is brought to you by Shaping the Future. Sounds like a big tall task, but you can do this without even having another child or participating in more seminars. All you need to do is complete our 2025 Frugal Friends mega survey. Mega. Let us know the type of content you want more of and help us shape the future of Frugal Friends by answering just a short 10 multiple choice questions. Head to frugalfriendspodcast.com megasurvey or you can also get the link to the survey in the friend letter this week. And to get the friend letter, go to frugalfriendspodcast.com Yay.

[B]

Yes, the mega survey is our annual survey that we do in February. It shapes what we do for the entire following year. So if you like Frugal Friends and you want it to be more tailored to where you are at, then you got to do the Mega Survey. You've got to. So if you are struggling with some of the guilt and shame of past financial decisions or how you handled situations, you're gonna love this episode. But you're also gonna wanna queue up a couple episodes for after this episode. 315 how to Build and break habits that cause you to overspend. Cause a lot of these seasons and regrets can lead to unconscious habits. We create habits whether we are intentional about them or not. And a lot of time this regret can lead us to creating habits where we reject being intentional about habit creation because we're ashamed. And so we create habits unintentionally. And so 3:15 is a really good one. Episode 452 what if you're not lazy? What if you're a perfectionist with Monica Packer? I loved this episode. I love Monica, she's so wise. We are kindred spirits, I feel and this is a really good one because I, I knew I was a perfectionist but I didn't put myself in that category. I don't feel like I'm very type A I. But a lot of the things that we talk about in here I identified because if I can't do it perfect, I just try, I just don't do it at all sort of thing. And I can feel lazy at times. And so this episode with Monica Packer will really speak to you if you've ever experienced that all or nothing mindset, that all in or all out sort of mentality. So let's get into this episode on financial regrets and we're going to start with a study.

[A]

So this article comes from NerdWallet and it's titled Survey Majority of Americans have Money regrets in 2024. Because we just don't have enough data on 2025 yet. But they have a really interesting chart here about some of the top money regrets of 2024. And they start out by saying that nearly 7 in 10Americans, so that's close to 70% have financial regrets within 2024. With the top regrets being not saving for emergencies and not saving enough for financial goals. This was interesting to me because it's one of those non actions having a regret of not doing something. And in our research for this episode there were a lot of articles about people in retirement age, their regrets on finances and those were the top regrets for like the boomer generation and above. Not having saved enough, not utilizing their youth to kind of put more away for their current circumstances. But all people of all ages are also saying this currently. The just non action of saving, which I feel personally like that resonates with me. But I also recognize that part of the reason I can't put aside as much savings or investing for retirement is because of the pinch I'm currently feeling economically and maybe with job choices and earnings and all of that. So to your point Jen, at the top of the episode, some financial regrets. It's not just one sided. There's many layers to it that we could wish we had put away more. But we also need to recognize yeah, but what are the circumstances too? And also what actions can I take?

[B]

But yeah, and yeah, this comes from that regret on how I handled a season in my life and I wasn't able to save as much as I had anticipated, save as much as I wanted to. And there is regret in that. Even though the season wasn't primed for me to do as much as I thought I was capable of. We always think we're more capable in a year and less capable of things like over five years or ten years. So we get really discouraged when we don't reach these crazy goals we have for ourselves in one year. And it's so crazy that these top three, the top four, three out of four, are inaction regrets. And so I think the first lesson that we should take from this episode is that you will always regret what you don't do more than what you do all of the other. There's a lot of overspending regrets. Most of them are regrets for not saving or not doing something.

[A]

Yeah, like not improving the credit score. But then from there it is interesting that all of the lower level regrets are about the action and most of them have to do with overspending. So I'll read off a couple. Overspending on entertainment is the top one. That's actually the third regret.

[B]

Everybody going to Taylor Swift concerts is what it is.

[A]

Taking on too much credit card debt, overspending on travel, overspending on monthly housing costs, overspending on an event which is also entertainment. I would say overspending on a vehicle, taking out a mortgage. That was kind of the last one. But these. Then it's interesting that, okay, the top ones are not putting aside money, but the lesser ones kind of show us why we might not be able to do that.

[B]

Yes. And I think we do have. I'm sure if you were able to. Okay, so the respondents could choose more than one answer. And so, yeah, I think it's. It's really telling that we, when we are talking about what we want to spend money on, it is. It is experiences, not things. Right. But all of the answers on here, and I'm sure it probably was multiple choice. And I wish they would have put more like overspending on food, but maybe that's monthly housing costs. I would have loved to know the difference in that. But even though we say we want to spend on more events, entertainment, travel than on things, most of our money, regret and overspending is on those things. And why is that? Is it because they cost more? Is that I can more easily identify. I wasn't able to save as much. I would have been able to save more if I had just not bought the Taylor Swift concert tickets. It's the biggest thing in my head. So it's the thing my head jumps to most but probably wasn't critically thought through through and maybe could have been offset just by more conscious consumption in general. So I would love to know more about this survey and what the options were. But yeah, it is so telling that even though we say we want more experiences, our guilt and regret jumps right to those when we're able to feel it.

[A]

And these stats are corroborated by another study put out by Bankrate where They found that 77% of people have at least a financial regret and 22% regret having not saved enough for retirement. 18% regret not saving enough for emergency expenses expenses 14% regret taking on too much credit card debt. So same same kind of across the board between these two surveys. And also recognizing that 40% of people who have a financial regret haven't been able to make much progress on remedying that situation in the past 12 months. And 45% of those people claim or will look to inflation and high prices as part of the reason for this negative impact on their progress towards this regret. So again, highlighting that piece of some of it's in our control, some of it's outside of our control. There are pieces at play where we can make decisions and I think we should be looking at where can we be shifting actions and behaviors to be able to help ourselves, but also where can we recognize that we're kind of walking around where people are like tying our limbs behind our backs because of what's happening with prices and inflation and just feeling really blocked from being able to achieve some of these goals in the timeframe that we want. And I think some of this has to do with just our own expectations of ourselves and the story that we're telling ourselves about what some of these achievements or non achievements have meant for us and whether or not our timeline is accurate. So there's definitely room to look at our spending and adjustments that can be made as well as our expectations and view of ourselves.

[B]

Yeah, and looking at the all or nothing mentality, right when I set a savings goal for a vacation and unexpected inflation or emergencies pop up where I can no longer save the amount that I wanted to. In some months maybe not at all and in other months maybe less. And so I have this all or nothing mentality to where like I just something unexpected has happened. So I can't save any more at all. And that is never the case long term. So maybe it's true for a month, maybe it's true for several months. But even if we cannot be our own definition of perfect or all in, we need to evaluate where we can find the radical middle in saving. We can always take some action to go further. And if we cannot take the action in what our previous capacity was, we can get creative in how we take the action. So if I wanted to save $200 for my vacation, but something unexpected has come up where I now have to spend $200 on a urgent care clinic, you know, visit. How can I get creative and make up that $200? Maybe I'm doing a no spend challenge. Maybe I am doing, you know, Uber Eats or Instant Cart. I do not think those are viable long term side hustle options. But maybe it's good for for one month in this way to get creative. So that is that. And those may not be your solutions, but the opportunity to get creative to think about how. How can I make up even a hundred of it? Even $50 of it? We have to be okay without with not being our own standard of perfect. Okay, business leaders, are you playing defense or are you on the offense?

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[B]

Yeah. I've been saying frequently lately that we need to learn how to fail, learn how to make mistakes, because we view them as, like, failure, as the end of a journey. In reality, a mistake, a failure, a setback is what causes growth, is what causes learning. If everything goes well all the time, you know, we call them Nepo babies, right? And we make fun of them. They should, you know, they don't deserve it, but maybe they do. I don't know. But yeah, we, you know, yeah, we just have to learn how to make mistakes. We have to learn how to learn from when things don't go right for us and embrace it and not feel like it's a failure. Not feel, you know, negatively about. I mean, we can feel negatively about it, but we have to learn how to take them as learning experiences instead of, like, failures in and of themselves.

[A]

So that is the first one of practicing self acceptance and really exploring, what am I feeling about this? How am I defining this as a mistake or a failure? And I love what they're saying here. So accepting yourself and your feelings does not mean you don't want to change things or make different decisions in the future. It just means that you are able to recognize that you're always learning, changing, and growing. So reminding yourself that the events of the past don't determine your future you are capable at any stage of making better choices in the future, more beneficial choices.

[B]

Taking action. That is the real, that is what we want to convey here is taking action. Like this next one of forgiving yourself. So the article says regret involves a common. A component of guilt and self recrimination. Ooh, what a word. Recrimination. Finding ways to forgive yourself can help relieve some of the negative feelings associated with regret. So for me, my story of financial regret comes when we were paying off debt. And while we were paying off debt, it was being reinforced in me that debt is dumb. And so for me, that translates to people who take on debt are dumb. And I took on student loans to better my future. But I regretted that during that scenario. But I felt conflicted because I was like, I needed to take on loans, nobody saved for me for college. And if I was gonna do anything in my early life, I needed to take on debt to get a degree. And I chose a pretty wise degree path. But I still, because this was being reinforced in me, I felt very guilty, I felt very dumb. And I almost, I regretted taking out these loans because paying them back was not fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I had to forgive myself. It took, I don't even know how it happened. Maybe just like it just took like a lot of self reflection and realizing the person that was telling me that I was dumb was not right. And there were other viewpoints that I aligned better with and that taking out student loans was not dumb. And yes, it was painful to pay them back and that was the right move, but it was not dumb.

[A]

Yeah. Personally, I do wish that I had known more about student loans same and the loans that like, I didn't necessarily have to take out. But similar journey to you. This is, this is what I experienced. I only knew what I knew. We worked towards paying it off. I felt silly for having taken out the degree of loans that I took out. I definitely, looking back, did not need to. It had to do with the schools that I chose and all of that. However, as painful as it was to pay those off, I also then took out loans later on that I didn't feel guilty about. Kind of that reworking of debt is neutral kind of happened in between paying off student loans and then taking out a loan for the motorhome that we have that we lived in and recognizing. Oh, this is actually helping us towards some of these financial goals. And it's so interesting some of that reframing, how it really can shift our actions and the ways that we view ourselves. So the next one is this is interesting. Apologize for mistakes. This might be really specifically for regrets where it does involve other people. But I think this is tied to what you were just saying, Jen, of asking for forgiveness or forgiving yourself for some of these things. Like almost, you know, if you feel the need to, like, acknowledge it to yourself and forgive yourself. But also if there are other people involved, if this is a situation where maybe you accrued a lot of debt with a partner, being able to kind of apologize to one another can really help clear the air and solidify the desire to do different going forward. It can kind of be a marker for we recognize that this mistake was made. We're going to do our best not to live in regret, but there is room to own some of these mistakes to one another.

[B]

Next is take action. I promise I didn't put it in there. It was in there. So this is not just a way to, like, avoid or process. It's. It's a way to cope with feelings of regret. So a lot of us will. So when we feel out of control, we will always seek to regain control. And if we can't regain control in the thing that we are out of control on, we will gain control in something else. And a lot of times, side note, that's spending money on something. We will spend money on something adjacent to maybe try to solve the problem, or if there's nothing we can buy to solve it, we will just spend money to try to control something else, to buy something else. So we want to recognize that so that we avoid that action and we pick a healthy action. So is it putting $50 into a sinking fund? Is it putting $50 into your IRA? Is it upping your 401k contribution by 3%? Whatever it is, take an action. Make sure that action is healthy.

[A]

Yeah. And one of those actions can be reframing. So this is a cognitive thing that we can do, a cognitive exercise that we can engage in where we choose how we want to look at the situation, so how we want to think about and the story we want to tell ourselves about this thing that happened. So it's validating the emotions and kind of rewriting, not saying that the facts of the thing are different, but the way that you're choosing to look at it is different. This is kind of what we've already been talking about of the goal of not having regrets. Is part of that reframing that? Yeah, maybe I wish that I had chosen something different, but in reframing, we can say that this was something that I chose when I Had this degree of knowledge and I know now what I'm going to choose going forward. And that thing, that choice, that action, that behavior of the past did help to teach me that I am learning and growing through this process. So it's really kind of a resilience outlook or this is what can build resilience in us when we can choose the way that we're going to look at this situation. So changing the way that we think about things and what has happened in the past can help us to even view regret in a different way. And it can move us away from dwelling on the negative feelings and more so seeing it as information that can help guide us going forward.

[B]

Yeah. And if you're feeling like really heavy about your regret, the article recommends a book by Daniel Pink, who is a behavioral psychologist. It's called the Power of Regret. I've read Daniel Pink's work before and it's really good. So, yeah, the Power of Regret might help expound on some of this thing that we've been talking about.

[A]

Yeah, man, it can be so helpful to just view it differently. We can feel so much more empowered and resourced to now move forward. I think regret keeps us stuck, but being able to reframe it shows us the pathway forward. So I think, yeah, my encouragement is to recognize you're not alone if you feel like, man, I've really screwed this up, or I wish I had made different choices and decisions, these surveys and just Jen and I are telling you same and we're not beyond it either. Like, there are still times, like I still wish currently I could put more money into retirement, but I'm also recognizing my life season, the realities of current circumstances, some of the choices I can make to put little bit by little bit towards it. I'm aware of it, really. And you know, what more can we do? We've gotta then be kind to ourselves from there.

[B]

Well, I think awareness is something that almost it cripples us because we know what we should be doing and we're not in a season to do it or to do it as much as we think we should be doing. I think some of these articles on like, how much you should have saved at 20, how much you should have at 30, 40, et cetera, do us a disservice because we think we should be. And we probably should, ideally, in a perfect world, most of us are behind. But like, it's. It's one of those things where you don't know what you don't know until you know it. And then Once you do, all you can do is move forward in the capacity which you are able to. And so much of it is like, you figure this stuff out once you already have a mortgage and a high car payment and children and you're like in this place where you, you wish you would have found this stuff out, you know, five, 10 years ago. But the biggest solution to the regret that you're feeling in all of this is to just do a little, to do a lit, to do what's in your capacity and try to alter some of the things in your life to be able to do more, you know, 1% more every month.

[A]

The baggage of the negative feelings about it and the way that we view it is just weight. We don't need in actually being able to like, shift the story for ourselves. So whatever we can do to shed that and just actually keep moving forward, I'm here for it.

[B]

We have to.

[A]

You know what else I'm here for and is not baggage. It does. It actually lifts the weight and heaviness.

[B]

I will never have a regret for having this part of our show.

[A]

The bill of the week.

[B]

That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage.

[A]

Maybe your car died and you're happy.

[B]

To not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck Bills, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton.

[A]

This is the Bill of the Week.

[B]

Hi, Jen and Jill.

[A]

My name is Kat and I am.

[B]

A loyal Frugal Friends podcast listener and wanted to submit my first bill of.

[A]

The week to you all.

[B]

Back in July, I received a laboratory.

[A]

Bill for some lab work that I.

[B]

Had done through my PCP's office earlier in the year. The amount was for $108. I put the bill in my mail organizer and completely forgot to pay it until last night. I logged in online to pay the bill and to my surprise, there was a zero balance due. So I contacted the laboratory company and was told that in August, my insurance company made a payment of $23 and the laboratory company had to accept that as payment in full. So I am no longer on the hook for $108. So this is just a reminder to everybody that sometimes waiting can pay off. Thanks so much for listening. Way to go, Kat. This is actually wise with all medical bills to wait for as long as possible to pay them. That's just like do not pay a medical bill immediately. Just rule of thumb.

[A]

Yeah, it's like it doesn't sound like the greatest advice. Cause it's not what you would do with any other bill. But they just take so long to get you your bills and then it'll be wrong. And a lot of times. Yep. And then it's wrong. And then they haven't actually received the payments from the insurance company yet. There's just, they haven't made necessarily the adjustments to make. This happened to me recently too, where I knew that there was going to be more bills coming in. So I wanted to wait until they just sent me all of them because it was, it was within like a six month period of time. But I'm like, y'all are rolling out bills in sporadic time frames. I just want it all together in one bill. And then I want to negotiate that bill once it's all one lump sum.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we'll, and then we'll pay.

[B]

It because especially if you, and this isn't general good advice but like if you don't need a good credit score, you can just threaten to send it to collections. And they don't want you to send it to collections, but you very well could and just negotiate it there. You can negotiate. It's just like what your priorities are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can use that as a bargaining.

[A]

Chip because depending on how big the bill is. Right.

[B]

Nothing bad will happen to you if that bill gets sent to collections. And then you can negotiate it down.

[A]

Even further other than it affecting your credit score.

[B]

Your credit score.

[A]

So yeah, that is something.

[B]

But nothing bad happens to you physically. Nobody comes to your house or something? No. You don't go straight to jail.

[A]

Well, Kat, that's an amazing bill. Thanks for sharing that with us and congratulations. If you all listening have a bill that you want to submit. If it has to do with letting your bills just sit around and then get paid off by somebody else. If it has to do with a bill, you don't mind paying. Your name is billfrugalfriendspodcast.com Bill, leave it for us.

[B]

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[A]

Your bill, lady. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Okay.

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[A]

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[B]

No.

[A]

The Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash terms apply. And now it's time for the lightning round.

[B]

Pew pew. Okay, so let's talk about the biggest regret that you have in 2024 of what you purchased. What was your biggest purchasing regret in 2024? Jill?

[A]

This is a fun one. And it's somewhat recent because it was December of 20. In a moment of weakness, I bought Dermaplaning razors.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's to shave off the little peach fuzz on your face. You know, like the hair, like, around your cheeks and a little bit below your ears. Okay, this is embarrassing because this never happens to me. But it did happen to me. I was on Instagram.

[B]

Oh, girl.

[A]

Yeah, I'm very. Did you become vulnerable?

[B]

Did you become insecure?

[A]

So I saw this girl who was describing her very. This was the thing, her very low maintenance skincare routine. And it was just three things. And I don't even remember the other two. I do like the other two, but she's like, I don't get facials. I don't do Botox. I don't do this, I don't do that. Here's what I do. And one of the things that she listed was dermaplaning. And I will say I had been curious about this years ago, like, realizing in the sunlight, oh, wow, there's. There's like a good amount of hair on the cheeks.

[B]

On your skin. On skin, yeah.

[A]

And I was like, oh, that'd be really interesting. And she's like, you know, makeup goes on smoother and, like, skin, you know, you're. You're less likely to get ingrown hair. Well, although here's the thing. I. And I haven't yet used them. I bought the dermaplaning razors thinking, like, oh, great, I can get rid of, like, the peach fuzz and just be, you know, a little bare little baby on my face. And then I thought. And then I realized, this is shaving. This is shaving your face. Like, you're calling it dermaplaning, but it's shaving. Which also brings me back to the marketing tools, right? The way that they market certain things to men versus women, that shaving used to be associated with, like. Like men shaving their beards. So they, like, renamed what you would call shaving your legs for women. I think this is along those lines. They're calling it dermaplaning. But what I realized is, wait, once I do this, my hair is going to grow back and then it's going to be, like, stubbly and potentially more rough to the touch. And potentially I'll have greater risk of ingrown hairs. So now I'm very glad that I didn't end up using the dermaplaning razors. But I didn't discover this or come to this realization till after the return window. So now I just have a package of dermaplaning razors. That was a waste of $8.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And never again.

[B]

So I am finding along that lines where you're like three, like simple three step skincare routine. I don't need all of this stuff. I am noticing that under consumption has become another marketing tool where you have these over consumption videos where they'll have 40 products in one minute, hoping you just buy one. And now they'll have the under consumption videos that just have one or three products that they deem superior, hoping that you will buy it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it's of greater, it's more exclusive. It's quality over quantity. It is another marketing tactic. Yeah.

[A]

So I succumb. And you know what I'm learning? I'm learning from that. Never again are these photoshopped women gonna talk me into buying something I don't need.

[B]

Yeah, that's. I would. I mean, yeah, I'm attracted to the under consumption videos because I believe that the products they are using must be the most superior. They must be the best if they only have one or very few.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. But that's something I've noticed.

[A]

All right, your turn to be vulnerable. What's your purchasing regret?

[B]

Mine did not come from influence, but from desperation. And it is sippy cups. And I bought like I have bought. So I bought so many different types of sippy cups in 2024 to try to wean my child off his bottle. And it is just a fool's errand. Like I could have just picked one, taken away the bottles and just like forced it.

[A]

Now this is how you drink.

[B]

And I'm just, just tired and weak and desperate. And I've spent, gosh, 50 bucks at least on sippy cups that don't get used. Yeah. Oh, man. And now they're probably.

[A]

I know that you were having this struggle.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So he will just beg for a bottle.

[B]

Yeah, well, and he won't necessarily beg for a bottle, but like, he'll want water and he'll want to drink out of my cup. And I'm trying to get him cups that are maybe similar but don't leak because he'll pour water all over himself and he just won't drink out of them. Like, I got ones that you can lift up like a bottle and he won't. And they're too, you know, he won't suck hard enough to get them out. Then I'll give him ones that are like my cup, just a straw, but you have to have it vertical and he'll lift it up and he'll be mad that nothing's coming out. It's just so frustrating.

[A]

Oh, so you haven't landed on a solution yet?

[B]

No, I think I've gotten close because I. So I have a Stanley, which was a gift that I've just been using. It is not the best water bottle. I don't recommend buying one, but it is what I have and I won't be sad if I lose it or run over it or if it catches on fire. So I bought a replica, a tiny replica for a. For a child.

[A]

Uh huh. And has that worked?

[B]

It has worked the best.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Good. It has worked the best.

[A]

Do you remember when all of the teen. Not all of them. I'm making a sweeping statement, but do you remember when the trend was that teenagers would walk around with bottles, they would like drink out of bottles. Do you remember that?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, well, no. I just sound insane. It was a popular trend for a time. I want to say like late 2000s, maybe even teens, where teenagers were just like walking around with sippy caps.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I'm going to have to look it up and you post it.

[B]

I went to a birthday party where there were Stanleys and they were in like the carrying cases with a, with a straw topper and they were bedazzled. And I was like, it is not that good of a cup. Like, it does not warrant all. I mean, I guess in order to make it better you have to put all that stuff on it. But like, it leaks as soon as you tip it over. It falls out. Like all the water falls out and the straw is plastic. So I had to cut part of it off when Atlas chewed it to bits like at the end. Like, it's just not the best of sure, if your car catches on fire, it is gonna survive. And that is the best aspect of it. But like, my car isn't catching on fire, but I'm always knocking over my water bottle. So it's just not wise. And the minute I lose it, because that's always what happens. I will keep a water bottle for a year, two years max, and then I will lose it somewhere. And as soon as that happens, I will be thankful to buy a different water bottle. So thank you for listening to this episode on financial regret and the rant on Stanley's. We have loved reading your kind reviews about our book Buy what yout Love Without Going Broke. Which again, we do some of this in our chapter on contentment without complacency. And we've loved this review. Five stars from Katie Carter says just like the podcast, I'M giving this book five stars. In this book, the Frugal Friends have taken the super complex world of finance and simplified it literally. There's a whole chapter on simplification. Jen and Jill have done the hard work of deep diving into the psychology of our spending, our values, and how the world wants us to spend, and then have given us the lightning round and action steps to help us take control of how we spend. This is not just another book that will tell you not to buy coffee. This book will make you figure out if you even want the coffee. Thank you so much, Katie. This was so kind.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. Thanks for that review. We are loving reading these reviews and thank you so much for listening. If you like the show, if you like the book, please leave us a rating and review wherever you bought the book, wherever you're listening to the podcast. It really helps us a ton. Absolutely.

[B]

And we will see you next time.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

[A]

Okay, it was actually the 90s. I was, wow, as usual, thinking that I'm younger than I am.

[B]

It's crazy that it's not back yet because the 90s are on trend again.

[A]

I think we're gonna get close. So it was pacifiers, mostly pacifiers. But baby bottles got, like, thrown into the mix. Do you remember this?

[B]

No.

[A]

I want to say even, like, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera were, like, walking around with pacifiers.

[B]

Maybe vaguely, maybe that it was a fashion trend. I guess. I don't know. I don't want to say definitively yes, because I don't. But maybe vaguely.

[A]

I feel like I've got to find images of pop stars with pacifiers. Doing it. Yeah. The pacifier trend pacifiers.

[B]

And it's just a bunch of babies with pacifiers. And mom blogs being like, pacifiers are the worst. Don't give your baby a pacifier. They're out of trend.

[A]

Yeah. Looking up images. Yeah. You'd, like, wear them as necklaces.

[B]

Okay. I do remember these. These. I remember because they're not actual Justin Bieber.

[A]

Justin Bieber.

[B]

Ew. No, that's not real. That is.

[A]

No, that is. Yeah, that is Photoshopped. That does look Photoshop, for sure.

[B]

Ow. Those teenagers look like they have real pacifiers. But I remember these plastic pacifiers like, they're not for babies. They're for teenagers.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah, I remember that.

[A]

Yeah. You'd wear them on a necklace around, and then you just. It'd be like, something, and then you'd.

[B]

Put it in your mouth because you're gross. You're gross teenager.

[A]

Yeah, I remember that. Oh man. So strange. The choices we made.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the choices that will be made again in the future.

[B]

The choices we're still so funny making.

[A]

Watch. I'm talking about this. And then it'll be what pops up in our reels after this.

[B]

Oh my gosh, no. Well, yeah, because you're searching it on your laptop.

[A]

Because we are trendsetters, right?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Wow. Well, I hope you find a sippy cup that works. The Unshakables podcast is kicking off season two with an episode you won't want to miss. Join host Ben Walter, CEO of Chase for Business, as he welcomes a very special Guest, chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, Jamie Dimon. Hear about the challenges facing small businesses and some of the oh, moments Jamie has overcome. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Chase Mobile app is available for select mobile devices. Message and data rates may apply. JP Morgan Chase Bank NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 JP Morgan Chase & Co.

[B]

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