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TikTok Influencer
You hear that? That's not just a Toyota truck. That's the sound of no crowds, no alerts, no distractions, and no telling what you'll find next. You know, like a detour. So why would you ever take a tour when you could take a detour? Toyota trucks.
Jen
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Jill
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Jen
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Jill
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity.
TikTok Influencer
And live a richer life.
Jill
Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill. If you've been scrolling on TikTok, you may have been served a live stream of someone literally crying on camera asking strangers to send them money. Whether it's for rent or groceries or emotional support, it's all starting to feel unhinged.
Jen
Yeah, we're both huge advocates for generosity, both at an organizational and one on one level. But this new wave of sad fishing for cash on social media, is it just annoying? It's part of a bigger, more insidious problem on social media.
Jill
So today we're going to break down what's really going on. How social media has turned struggle into a brand, how these trends explain exploit both empathy and algorithms and how it may be affecting you without you even ever giving a dime.
Jen
Welcome, frugal friends. I'm Jen. I'm Jill. And today we are looking at the direct and indirect effects of Beg talk and what it is having on your finances, whether you are falling for it, being generous, giving money or not. So, Jill, what do you know about Bag Talk?
Jill
Literally nothing until yesterday when you said that this is what we're going to do our episode about. So now I know some things for sure. But it's not as if I'm unfamiliar with people asking for money, right? But I think I am realizing that it is ramping up.
Jen
So I learned about this where I learned about all good things, YouTube and I was watching Videos. And then I realized we actually had a tenant that didn't, it didn't do this, but was part of where this all started. So a lot of this, this whole phenomenon kind of started with TikTok Lives. And when TikTok Live started, it was this place where you could like, I guess play games or talk to other people and people vote on you and make money. And we had a tenant either last summer or whenever this started who literally this was her full time gig. I don't know if it still is, but she made all of her money enough where she could kind of travel the, the country and, and live for a couple months wherever she wanted. And she just got on TikTok live every night and made money. She said she would made like around 600 bucks a session.
Jill
That's insane. Yeah, I knew that people would make money gaming, like people would pay to.
Jen
Watch people gaming streamers like on Twitch. Yes.
Jill
And I, I peripherally know somebody who makes money that way. But just going on TikTok lives and asking people for money, I think sometimes maybe answering questions for money. That's a new concept for me.
Jen
It is new on TikTok. So when TikTok Live was trying to like ramp up this money making aspect, they were actually inviting influencers on. And I don't know how they were incentivizing them, but you got some pretty well known influencers. Like comedian Jason Nash, who is a comedian, writer, actor, director, YouTuber with like over 2 million subscribers.
Jill
Wow.
Jen
He's had like a 20 year career in stand up and he found himself several years ago screaming on TikTok live for cash. Friends of mine.
Jill
Well, we learned something on that one. Screaming does not work. Now look, would I be on Tik Tok Live if I wasn't in like a financial hole? I don't know, probably not. But also like YouTube wasn't really working and, and I needed to find something. TikTok wasn't working and so I needed to find something like why not this?
Jen
Right?
Jill
Let's give it a try. I mean, it's a business plan for us maybe.
Jen
Yes, potentially so, but that was several years ago. And so now TikTok Live has had an evolution to where on the extreme, people are just straight up asking for money and there are still ways that you can like do this, you know, you know, yell for money, I guess, but they're not doing it that way.
Jill
So guys, I need to come up with 60 bucks to get to and from work and have enough. Forget lunch.
Jen
I was just trying to get Enough.
Jill
For gas and get something to eat, bro. That's literally it.
Jen
Literally I'm hungry and I just like, I can't even go get food because.
Jill
I don't have gas. If I could even get money for food.
TikTok Influencer
I need $840, guys, and I hate asking. Tick tock, bro. I literally don't even.
Jen
I don't even want to come on.
TikTok Influencer
Here and like ask for money.
Jen
So I'm asking someone please help me.
Jill
Out just until tomorrow for like 20 or 30 bucks. And I promise you I will pay it back though. Can anybody in here help us out? We would greatly appreciate it. PayPal, CashApp, Venmo. Any donation help? Why beg for money if you don't.
Jen
Like me begging for money?
Jill
You need to unfollow me or block me. I'm gonna keep begging for money.
Podcast Guest or Additional Commentator
The only way you guys stop.
Jill
Well, the only way you guys make.
Podcast Guest or Additional Commentator
Me stop is you get my.
Jill
All my accounts gone.
Jen
I don't have to ask people, but if I don't ask, I take. So that is the precipice of where we're at with bank talk.
Jill
That's wild. I think. Yeah, it's definitely an example of something larger that's happening societally. And why not take advantage of like an opportunity to reach a medicine I take.
Jen
And thank you.
Jill
Family's not giving to you. Strangers might.
Jen
I mean thank you to Penny Fairy for documenting all these. Cuz these are on lives and they don't necessarily get saved. But Penny Fair is an account on Tik Tok that will give a penny to any beggar that's on Tik Tok and then record their reaction. So a lot of these will have reactions to Penny Fairy giving them a penny. And it's definitely not suitable. Not suitable for work language.
Jill
Right. Wow. I bet they're not super thrilled about that.
Jen
There is, yeah, there, there are a ton of videos on this person's account. But it's. Begging is an extreme example, I think, of the bigger problem on social media and it's something that we're not. I don't think I would necessarily fall prey to that. I don't know. Like, what do you think if something came across your feed like that and you were unfamiliar with the bigger culture of beg talk? Like, what would be your instinct?
Jill
I think I would keep swiping, honestly. And I think probably because I don't know that person, I'm not connected to them. But it probably depends on what other context they are giving in the situation. But I'm. I'm not super likely to be enthralled by something like that. Yeah.
Jen
Okay, but what if it was a viral video of a mom crying about making her kids cupcakes to have something to celebrate her birthday with? And this video was seen over four and a half million times.
Jill
Oh, do you mean Elizabeth tekenbrock? With over 300 followers. 300,000 followers on TikTok.
Jen
I mean, that one.
Jill
The cupcake mom.
Jen
So if you're watching the video, we've posted, like, a silent clip of a bit of that viral video of this, you know, beautiful young mom who is crying while making cupcakes. And this garnered so much attention, so much like people, like, pouring their hearts out, like, wanting to try to help this poor mom. And so much so that she. That garnered her over 300,000 followers on TikTok. But that is just a snippet of someone's life. This is allegedly the real Elizabeth Tekenbrock.
Podcast Guest or Additional Commentator
Okay, do you guys remember the crying cupcake mom? She made this video about how hard it is to have to make your own cupcakes on your birthday when you're a single mom. And it ended up getting millions of views and support only for her ex husband to make a video coming out and going, whoa, whoa, whoa, this lady is a liar and you guys are all getting scared. Scammed. He ended up coming out with hard evidence that this woman does not even have custody of her kids because she faked having cancer, faked lymphoma, and also has a rap sheet for numerous frauds and scams she'd been running. This would lead to a very loud, very public back and forth of accusations between Elizabeth, who goes by more than Elizabeth online, and Andrew, who goes by inventing Elizabeth. And somehow, despite Andrew having all of the hard evidence and Elizabeth's story being inconsistent and questionable at best, because pretty privilege is a thing, Elizabeth is the one who ended up winning the public favorite. Andrew continued to try to warn people about all of the chaos and BS Elizabeth has put him and many other people through. But because Elizabeth continued to craft this elaborate sob story and even accused Andrew of such things as covering her in bruises, his comment sections remained filled with hatred and vitriol. Two years this guy tried to warn you about this lady and you refused to believe him. And now look at this.
Jen
I know that I've hurt a lot of people in my life.
Jill
It always ends up that way. It is a cycle that I do time and time again. And I also will say most, not all, but most of what my ex husband has been online is True.
Podcast Guest or Additional Commentator
Yeah, you heard that right. Elizabeth just admitted that she's been Belle Gibsoning it this whole time. And just like Belle Gibson, her excuses are vague. She says that almost everything he said was true. But you really need to clarify at this point because again, you literally accused him of laying hands on you. You told everyone he was lying. And now because she's finally been backed into a corner because so many of her ex friends are coming out and telling the truth about her, she thinks that this very vague, maybe I did do something wrong is gonna fix it all. False accusations ruin.
Jill
Yeah, this is wild. And I hear so many stories about this. I don't know if it has to do with the type of content I like to consume, but people scamming to get money and it happens, I think more than we realize, more than even the documentaries and the podcasts that are made about it.
Jen
Yeah. There is an amazing podcast about this whole scenario called Elizabeth and it's made so this woman actually lives in our area. She lives in the Tampa Bay area. And so another girl and her podcast partner made a like a short form podcast series about it. And it is fascinating because it's not just this, this was the thing that went viral, but also there was like most recently, even after all of this came out, trying to sell her clothes on like declutter and sell clothes on Instagram and people like ordering them and her telling people she shipped them out, but she created fake shipping like invoices and so it would get a tracking number, but they wouldn't be able to like use the tracking number. And so she wasn't really sending anything out. And then one girl bought bathing suits from her and she was in her stories and posts wearing the bathing suit that she supposedly sold to this person. Right. So like just blatantly out there. And I think this is the more insidious problem, like kind of not blatantly begging, but building of these parasocial relationships so that we feel invested and we have trust that these people did not earn so that we are more likely to fall for things that aren't extreme.
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
But just like slightly out of the norm. Yeah.
Jill
And I think playing on the empathy piece and stories that really get to our hearts and desire to want to help, to want to be generous. I know that video didn't mention it, but she had also run another scam where she was selling tickets to charity events that never happened. And then people never got their money back. And so just consistently doing this over and over again. And I think sometimes we can wonder well, how does she get away with it? And I think sometimes it's because we don't know the background on who we're giving money to. We've not done the research on is this person legit or not, and they look trustworthy.
Jen
And following them for years. Following them for years and listening to one of their stories and having it mirror your own. That's not research. Right. Like, that's. These were. And I have seen influencers do this all the time where they will ask for donations for a charity or be like, I'm raising money for this charity and you give money to them and they never post proof that they made the donation. So, like, people having a history of not posting the proof of donation. Now there are a lot of influencers who will post proof. And I think if they have that history of. This is what I do and I post the proof and yada, yada, she's. She's done this too, where she has accepted donations and never posted the proof that she's made the donation to. But I see this from a lot of influencers, and I will say on that video that we showed, she chalked some of this up to pretty privilege and. And she is beautiful. But I actually don't think it's that. I. I think it's the emotional manipulation. Like Elizabeth, when you look at her story versus her husband, who had all the hard facts, her story was better. It was more emotional. More people could relate to where he was just, like, spewing facts and he looked like just somebody that. And this is an actual, like, legal. When you go to court, this can work against you, is that you're bringing as much information as possible and you just lay like a huge dossier, like just, you know, on the desk.
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
Where the other person has very little. The person with more information actually shoots themself in the foot because it looks like it was planned and like things were manipulated in their favor so that they could get all of this.
Jill
I hate that. That's true.
Jen
Right. So, like. And this. So this is what. That's what happened. I think in this situation, she told a better story. The story was closer to what's common. And so I think that is why so many people took her side and are still taking her side. Because if you look for her profile right now on TikTok, you won't find it. She just recently deleted it again. She does this, like, periodically. She, you know, she deactivated it because literally, like, two weeks ago. Yeah. A week and a half ago maybe from when we are recording this. She scammed another group of people in the Tampa Bay area. But these people got, these girls got real loud real quick on social and apparently there was allegedly some theft involved and at minimum there was really taking advantage of like the living situation. But these girls went off in a very loud way. And because of her history it was, I mean, you know, she went offline. But there are still people that a don't know histories of people. They're taking people at face value. And we all do this when we hear something that mirrors our own reality. Yeah, it brings down our like rational thinking and questioning. So she. Yeah, it was, that's why I had to find like a, a weird snippet of the original video. And I honestly don't even think that video is probably on her page anymore. But I couldn't check her from sizes.
Jill
Down to see she's just like stirring up her next little scam.
Jen
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Jill
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Jen
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Jill
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Jen
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Podcast Guest or Additional Commentator
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Jen
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TikTok Influencer
You hear that? That's not just a Toyota truck. That's the sound of no crowds, no alerts, no distractions and no telling what you'll find next. You know like a detour. So why would you ever take a tour and you could take a detour. Toyota trucks.
Jen
Diving like deeper into some of the so like begging but also like building of parasocial relationships and trust with influencers. There's another even bigger example. So 300,000 on TikTok. That's you know that's whatever that's, that's an influencer. Right. But like it's pretty average on TikTok I think for influencers at this point. But what about like a million plus followers? Yeah.
Jill
And not, not necessarily scamming so blatantly but kind of selling us another type of lifestyle.
Jen
Subtle manipulation. Yeah. If you've been on tick tock you have probably been acquainted with hubs life. So it was. And if you're on YouTube we'll kind of show you on mute what his content is because it's all just like very aesthetic with like a moody music in the background. But this guy would be like showing a day in the life of just a normal everyday 9 to 5. Very much normalizing the 9 to 5 that most people have. Like getting out of this extreme influencer like Porsche lifestyle and just like really normalizing like having lunch at your office, coming home to your kid, all of this. And so he went from content like this and he quit his 9 to 5 to start a new 9 to 5 and was really vague about it and eventually it came out that his new 9 to 5 was. What do you think it was?
Jill
Content creation.
Jen
Influencer after for years building this whole account over. I'm not going to quit my 9 to 5. It's got stability, it's got benefits, it's got security. And that's what he built his account on. And then one day it's like my last day at my 9 to 5 starting my new 9 to 5. And it quickly. So this was February of this year I think and it quickly devolved into morning routines and content like this that you will see on the YouTube video like doing one of those ice dunks with your face that. Who does that? Six o' clock in the morning and it's come out and very vaguely thin like thinly veiled ads for things like doing just all the cringe worthy content influencers working out every day, getting buff, you know, lies on the time of day stuff that he's doing. Like there are some people I've seen call him out being like I'm going into into Chipotle for lunch at 10:45 and you can see or 10:30 or something and you can see on the door that the open time for the restaurant is after the time he's posting.
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
And so he's like clearly doing rage bait. Right. So he's doing a complete 180.
Jill
Right.
Jen
And every Post is a brand deal.
Jill
Well, and also it's. His handle is Hubs Life.
Jen
Hubbard is his last name.
Jill
Oh, I'm sitting over here like he's advertising what it's like to be a day in the life as a normal husband. But I'm like, you never see family.
Jen
I know. Well, you do see it like on his account, but like, I'm sure it's kind of like a double meaning, but. So you've got this like subtle manipulation of going from. And I watched Kiki Chanel's like, deep dive into this guy and she's like, people are mad because he was one way and now he's another. And she's like, he's always been this way and he's only been the other way because it was growing his following to the place where he needed to then quit his job so he could do what he really wanted to do, which is putting your face in a bowl of ice water and eating gross green powders for money. Like, that's what he's always been and that's what he's always wanted to do, and now that's what he's doing.
Jill
So are you saying that every influencer who is selling or hawking a product is beg talk?
Jen
I. So I think they all. I think they are showing us a carefully curated piece of their life and building trust that they aren't really earning in. In reality because we don't know anything outside of the minute of their day that they have cut and pasted to show us. And then you've got all these influencers that get canceled because they make the mistake of showing something that's outside of that curated Persona. Even if that curated Persona is not. I mean, even if that reality clip is not bad. Like, I think what Hubs life did is manipulative.
Jill
Yeah. But I think, you know, all of this is standard what you're going to see out of influencers. You're going to follow them. You're going to have a parasocial relationship with them. Of course they're going to sell products. It's how they keep making their content. But I think the concerning thing, like what. What we're actually talking about in this episode is the begging portion. The give me money for this. Which he does.
TikTok Influencer
Yeah, you gotta send a galaxy, bro. I gotta get a galaxy, guys. Send me. Send me something, man time. Make it a living. I don't know if I saw a galaxy come through, man. I cancer any of these. You gotta send me a galaxy, bro. Sam, thank you for the first Gift roses on deck.
Jen
I don't know.
TikTok Influencer
I think roses are like not a galaxy. I want to answer all these questions, but I really can't right now. Sam, where's the galaxy, bro? I'll answer like 10 questions. If you said a galaxy. You got to send me a galaxy or something. This is a lot more lucrative and I get to work from anywhere in the world, make money from my telephone, have any investments than 401k, you got to send me a galaxy and I'll answer that. That's the Internet for you though. No one wants to see you better doing better than them.
Jen
Right?
TikTok Influencer
I'm just a regular chill dude.
Jill
This is wild. I. I honestly feel like I'm just observing something that I'm completely unfamiliar with. First of all, what's a galaxy?
Jen
That is that I had to look it up.
Jill
Money.
Jen
A galaxy is $10. So he is essentially being like, send me a galaxy and I will answer a question. Yeah, but if you don't send me $10, I'm not gonna answer a question from you. And somebody actually sent him money and was like, thanks for the roses. But the Rosies are not galaxies and the galaxy I think is the highest thing you can give, to my knowledge. Let me know in the comments below.
Jill
So he sent something lower than that. What is a Rosie?
Jen
I don't know what a Rosie is.
Jill
Oh, wow. So if you're not watching the video with us, this dude is just. He's just on a TikTok live with a guitar. Who knows if he ever ends up playing.
Jen
He's just a normal guy.
Jill
He's just a normal chill dude. And if you want him to answer questions then you gotta pay him money. You gotta send him a galaxy. Rosies aren't enough.
Jen
But like he didn't establish himself as an expert on anything except going to a 9 to 5. He was a benefits analysis at an insurance company. That's not. He. He did video. Like he worked on video for other social media influencers before and was doing a lot of traveling and then got burnt out on that. So then he just went to the, you know, just got a random job. So he's not touting himself as an expert even on getting a job in insurance, climbing the corporate ladder. Nothing. So there is no reason people should pay him to answer a question and less. It's how do I gain a social media following? Yeah, which I don't know if he would answer questions like that. But he is constantly now like making real or it posts like calling out the haters like People just don't want to see you do well and not realizing that the reason people are upset is this emotion, this manipulation of trust that's gone on and thinking people and his views have like, tanked. So thinking that anything, any product you put out in front of somebody, people are going to buy because of you, when really it was because of the trust you built because of the content you were putting out. It was this curation of a sliver of your life that people appreciated, not who he really was, which ends up not being a really great person. And that doesn't mean, honestly, like, he could be a fantastic person. He could have done this in a really great way, this transition, but just did not.
Jill
Yeah, there's so many different examples because I think I could look at that one and be like, never am I going to find myself watching this dude and sending him gas.
Jen
Giving somebody, giving this guy $10 to answer questions that I guarantee you he is not qualified to answer. Financial. People do this too. Like financial coaching. Like, what qualifications? We've not done financial coaching because we don't have any certifications. We, we are back in school to get our, you know, certification in financial planning. But I. But we would not do that yet until we have that designation.
Jill
Right? Yeah, so, so. But there's, there's a lot of ways that we can encounter this when we are spending time on the Internet. It could be this dude. It could be that you've been following a person for a really long time and you are just there for whatever journey they are also on. And, and you're down for it. You're just kind of bought in. You like the community aspect of it. It could be that it's some rando and their face pops up and they're. There's all sorts of examples from people selling an exaggerated story for, you know, whether it's I had a breakup or I can't pay my bills or I'm burnt out. You know, here's, here's a product. If you buy this product, this will help me. Or here's a GoFundMe. So I think there's ways in which any one of us could find ourselves giving in these scenarios. You know, even if the one example isn't us, there could be others. How, how are they building that trust? How are they playing into your empathy or your desire to be generous? I think it's important to know, like, where our vulnerabilities might lie and how it is working, because there are, there are plenty of examples where this is happening. So we can't say like, no, no, none of us would ever. Clearly a lot of us are.
Jen
Yeah.
Jill
Because so many scams are happening. These people are making full time jobs off of it. Just being aware, I think is so important.
Jen
And I don't think it's always a case of scamming. Influencers use emotional manipulation, whether it's positive or negative. Obviously negative is much more powerful in our brains. But influencers use emotional manipulation because it lowers your aptitude for making spending decisions. It, it heightens these triggers that make you want to either spend to buy a product in, to support the person. And I see this a lot. Like, you know, I, I am, you know, trying to like buy merch or buy a product not because I need it, but because I want to support you because I love what you do and I love you. You know, I've been following you for so long like that. That's still, it's not insidious. Like people aren't doing it manipulatively always, but we have to watch ourselves to be like, okay, why am I making this purchase? If, if this person, the thing that they are selling, the thing they are talking about is actually successful and works, then there is going to be people who need it. And maybe I know somebody needs it, maybe I can buy it for somebody who needs it. But I don't need to buy things that I don't need or want to support somebody.
Jill
Oh yeah.
Jen
And I, and you can, but you don't need to. And I see that so much where people are like, I'm buying my friend's candles for her candle business because I want to support her. And in reality, you're not going to be the person to keep that entire candle business afloat. If you see a candle you, you like and it's Christmas time and you're like, oh, I want to get, I'm already going to get these people gifts. I know they like candles. I'm going to get them from my friend who sells them. That is fantastic. But I think we will. Just as much as influencers can emotionally manipulate us, we can emotionally manipulate ourselves.
Jill
Yeah, yeah. And I think, you know, okay, well, what is the harm here? Because, yeah, we can spend our money how we want to spend our money. Sure. But I think giving to people who haven't yet earned our trust or we don't really know who they are, and maybe the missed opportunities to have been able to give to people that we do know to be able to support others, whether individuals or organizations within our own community. Right. Because we we are not, most of us flushed with cash to be able to be given to the parasocial relationship that we have with our influencer and the people who are right around us. So we are making those trade off decisions when we are giving to these people who we don't actually know where the money is going and there isn't reciprocity in that relationship and we've not been able to truly do the research on it. And not to mention that there could be fraud involved, that then we could find ourselves a part of a scam and not actually supporting anybody or anything. And that that's a really crummy waste of money.
Jen
I want to say something controversial.
Jill
Okay.
Jen
And I hope that you'll, you'll accept that this is coming from like a.
Jill
Genuine pure place and it might get cut depending on what's about to be said.
Jen
I just want, I want people to think of I. Taylor Swift is a parasocial relationship marketing genius. And I see so many people buy whatever she puts out. Records, cassette tapes. Who has a cassette player. Right. Watching her at the movie theater, everything because they want to support her, because they feel like they know her. And she looks like a really cool person, like very much deserving of love and respect. But like how much money has a swifty. And I can't identify as this, but like as somebody, how much money have I given to Taylor Swift to support her versus the people in my own community that are in front of me that are in need. Ooh, what is the ratio to that and how does it.
Jill
You can't love and value these things and go to the concerts and buy the stuff if you like it. But I think you are identifying something really important that like pull of I want her to do well.
Jen
Right. And that's doing this for her. Yeah. But then I should also be putting as much energy into how can I support the people around me and who needs my support more?
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
When it comes down to it, Eric.
Jill
Recently had an idea. We haven't tried it out, although it would be an interesting experiment. I don't know how long we would do it for. Maybe a couple of months would be cool. But only consuming the content or buying the products that our friends, like people that we know are putting out. So like only listening to music put out by friends, only watching, you know, movies or shows made by friends. That type of a thing would be so interesting. Just to give that a try. I mean, I'm not talking about like make an echo chamber necessarily, but I think it's kind of to that point, like, what if we were to exercise bringing it in a little bit to the people that we know? We actually know where the money is going. We are supporting our local community.
Jen
Yeah. And we just did an episode on how social media can, like, aid and may actually be responsible for the loneliness epidemic we're experiencing. So we may be saying this and you're like, well, that's hard. How do I find these people? And how do I build relationships close enough to where it's not seen as charity, but it's actually seen as, like, support? It's hard. It's not easy, but definitely cue up that episode to listen to afterwards. Because I feel like so many of our episodes lately have come back to this idea of the fewer people that you know, the more money you spend. And you're going to spend money if you know people. But I truly believe the fewer people you are in strong, close community with, the more you spend at companies and on people you do not know and have not earned it. Yeah. Yeah.
Jill
I think it's great to give. We love generosity. It's a perfect way to be spending some of our money. But I think for me, my biggest takeaway in this is, do I know them? Have I done the research? Not that. I mean, I'm not so concerned about if I give money to a person on the side of the street, what are they doing with it? That's not my responsibility. That's my personal perspective. But I do think that there is an element of responsible giving that we do have. But I think we can get caught up in some of these. Oh, yeah. I have been wanting to be more generous. Here's this person crying to me online. Yeah, I'm going to feel better about myself if I quickly send them some money. But what if we put a little bit more intentionality into what are the needs around me? What are the organizations that I really believe in? And I'm able to look at some of their backstory. I can. It is public record how nonprofits spend their money. Able to look through those things. Not. Not all of the time. The one time that you decide this is who I'm going to give money to. Spend 10, 15 minutes doing a little bit of research and actually feel really good and confident about where your generous dollars are going.
Jen
Yeah. And we put this out strategically in November because this is the season of the year where you're going to be pulled to give more than any. Any other time of the year. So we wanted. And. And you're going to be pulled not just by people and organizations, but by businesses who partner with organizations and be like every, you know, a part of every purchase goes toward this organization. And that's called cause marketing. And it doesn't really help the organization as much as you think it. It breaks down your barriers to spending more at the store. So you buy more than you would have you feel, or you feel better about buying from the store where you wouldn't have before. And yes, they give a portion of the proceeds to the nonprofit, but you could feel even better by just giving to the nonprofit instead of consuming more stuff. So this is this. We are about to enter the season of emotional manipulation at its height. Like, can you think of every holiday movie and slogan and twinkle light, like seeing a twinkle light. Like bring something out of.
Jill
Yeah, brands are going to do this. All the marketing and commercials are going to play on our emotions. So I think just being aware of how emotions are utilized to get you to spend money just across the board, it's important to be vigilant of.
Jen
So remember, you only see a sliver of somebody's life that is carefully curated on social media. You do not know that person and you do not know what your support is going to. To do. Obviously when we support, when we give, we do it without condition and we have to be okay with that. And if you're not okay giving without condition, then we don't give in that area to that person. Yeah, but social media is curated and just like don't give to people. You don't feel confident like that, you know?
Jill
Yeah. Or purchase products that you don't need just so that this person can be supported.
Jen
Because we give without condition. I think we can. Yeah, we agree on that.
Jill
Yeah. Do, do we? Do we, do we agree on that?
Jen
Do we agree on that? We didn't talk about it before.
Jill
Something we absolutely agree on. Every single episode without condition.
Jen
The bill of the week. The bill of the week.
TikTok Influencer
This is the pill about we.
Jen
This is the bill about we.
Jill
That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week.
Jen
Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.
TikTok Influencer
Maybe you paid off your mortgage.
Jill
Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Jen
Duck bills.
Jill
Buffalo Bills. Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.
Jen
Hi, this is Laurie in Belleville, Illinois. And this is my bill of the week. My sister was married two times. Both of them were named Bill, but my favorite bill was the first one because when he died, his daughter gifted me his 15 year old low mileage Toyota Camry. Bye. Thank you, Jesse. You just, you, you brought us to the top of the mountain and then you just pushed us off with that. Oh my gosh, two bills. One of them died and then his daughter gave you a Camry.
Jill
Yeah, that was a wild journey. And I loved the comedic timing you took us there, the delivery of it, the story, the perfect connection with Bill of the week. You understood the assignment and you delivered. And we love it. And I will probably listen to this one again later once we're done recording because I enjoy.
Jen
She goes back and the good ones, they're all good, but her favorite, she listens back to them. So if you submit your bill of the week@frugalfriendspodcast.com Bill, which you should totally do, know that sometimes Jill, when she's all alone, might listen back to it.
Jill
You're listening to me? I'm listening to you right back. Boo. Thanks so much. If you all are listening and you have a bill that you want to submit, like Jen said, you want to try and make it be one that I'm going to listen to even when I don't have to. Frugalfriendspodcast.com Bill. You know it. Bonus points if it's about a person named Bill. The weather is cooling down even for us Floridians, and it's making us crave coziness. And Quint delivers just that. They've got layers that last, including sweaters, outerwear and everyday essentials that feel luxurious, look timeless and make holiday dressing effortless.
Jen
Quint has it all, which makes them perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. And most importantly, by working directly with ethical top tier factories, Quince skips the middleman and offers prices 50% less than similar brands.
Jill
Their Mongolian cashmere and washable silk are closet staples. In addition to the cotton tees and linen dress I have been layering with all season. Their items feel comfortable and timeless.
Jen
Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last. From Quince. Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to quince.com frugal for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c-e.com frugal.
Jill
I'm loving the word no. And so is Mint Mobile. They've got no contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees. And for these reasons, I say yes to Mint because honestly, I was tired of paying ridiculous prices for the same service. Now I get premium wireless for just $15 a month.
Jen
Switching phone plans can feel like such a hassle, but Mint makes itself super simple. I kept my phone, my number and all my contacts. Plus the coverage is just as good as what I had before. Actually better in some spots. And I'm saving over $60 a month.
Jill
And all Mint plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. It's the easiest way to cut a big monthly expense without any of the deprivation.
Jen
Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch@mintmobile.com frugal that's mintmobile.com frugal upfront payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month limited time. New customer offer for first speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.
Jill
And now it's time for the lightning round.
Jen
Shoo shoo Fuming. I knew this one so much, I answered it for you. Jill. Have you ever been a victim of charity fraud or a similar tactic? No, that's not the answer, Jill.
Jill
Yes, and it was recent and it.
Jen
Was on social media. So tune back in. Bring it back here. Listen to her story.
Jill
I've been a victim.
Jen
You have been a victim. I'm just a girl.
Jill
Why you make me tell this story over and over and over again?
Jen
I just find it's relevant.
Jill
All of our listeners on this one.
Jen
Let us know in the comments if you've heard it before or if you haven't. And if everybody's heard it before. I'll never make Jill talk about it again. But if this is your first time hearing it, you have to be like, no, this is a civil service.
Jill
You need to call it a civil service.
Jen
Is a civil service.
Jill
Emotionally manipulate me continuing to tell the story.
Jen
Tell the story.
Jill
So I have taken over the Frugal Friends Instagram account. You can follow us at Frugal Friends podcast on Instagram. We won't ever ask you for money, but sometimes you'll ask us for money and I will give it to you.
Jen
No, she won't.
Jill
No, I won't. No, I won't. Not anymore. But I did one time. So somebody DM us. And to my credit, or in my defense, rather, they said they were somebody that we had been in contact with before. They had, you know, responded to a story and then we had written back. So it wasn't just like a rando, it was a real Frugal Friends follower. And they sent this message about a friend of theirs who was child. It sounds wild saying it out loud. Their child is going through, has cancer. And children, yes, they do have cancer. But the story went on where the parent is a war vet. They don't have the money for, like just every single sob story piece happening. And. And it made sense to me that they would just be reaching out to anybody. They had kind of said that, like, I'm just reaching out to whoever I can think of. Friends, family, the people that I follow, just trying to get the word out. Like, this is so awful what my friends are going through. And so I read through the whole thing, and I even had the thought, I don't know these people. I don't know if this is legit or not, but what is the harm in the event that this is true? 50 bucks, no skin off my back. Like, sure, I'll give, but she.
Jen
But I have to ask permission to spend 50. We don't, like, monitor each other's spending on the business card because we trust each other, because we have earned each other's trust.
Jill
But then sometimes when I see, you know, a big expense, like, Jen, what is. What was this?
Jen
Costco.
Jill
Costco. It's usually Costco. Anyways, then the next day they reach back out saying, oh, that's so sweet of you guys, but my account was hacked and this wasn't me. I didn't send this to you. Like, oh, no, how do I get this back?
Jen
Thankfully.
Jill
And that was the thing too. I'm like, I'm use a credit card. So if it's bad, then I can, you know, cancel it through the credit card. The one flaw in that whole plan, well, is, yeah, it was a scam. So that's stinks. But the danger to us is that the credit card information has an address attached to it. So, you know, whoever is scamming now has access to our place of business, potentially our home.
Jen
So that I think it might have been my home address, because the card that she used was connected to, like, my account. And I was like, I think they have my home address now.
Jill
So you had to remove your home from Google?
Jen
I did. I had to blur it out now.
Jill
Yeah. So that's, you know, that was a.
Jen
Learning being an influencer.
Jill
So clearly that's. I'm not. I am just not an influencer. I'm just out here wanting to support children with cancer.
Jen
So none of us are immune. I keep making her tell that story. To say that none of us are immune to the scams and the manipulation that go on on social media. And yes, we could get that particular $50 back. That was not an issue. But it's not always the case for every. Everyone. Yeah.
Jill
What about you?
Jen
Your turn. If you give somebody money via PayPal, like via friends and family, you can't get that money back. That is very hard to get back. So stuff like that. Okay. For me, it wasn't necessarily charity fraud, but when I think of the emotional manipulation piece of giving these. I think a lot of nonprofits use emotional manipulation in their marketing to extract money from people. And I don't think that's a bad thing. You need to extract emotion and pull at heartstrings to fundraise. And I fell very heavy victim of that when I was in my late teens, early 20s. You know, when our prefrontal cortex is not fully developed, we are even more at risk. So if you have a teenage niece, nephew, son, daughter, young adult in your life, like they need to hear this stuff too. Even more so. But I got like very wrapped up in a nonprofit called Invisible Children and became almost obsessed with it and so much that I went and I worked like 80 hour weeks for them for free. I had to actually raise my own support and like it was exploitative at minimum. But it's how I met Eric. Yeah, we know each other.
Jill
Obviously he was involved in that as well. It is so interesting because they are, are going after a really relevant and important cause. Like what they were doing is great, but then the ways in which they were doing it and the backs of the people that they were doing it on is problematic.
Jen
Yeah. And at the time, what they were trying to do was not like the best strategy to do what they wanted to do either. And now it's completely transformed to a much tighter, more well thought out organization. But back then, man, like, I got taken for a ride literally around the country by that particular organization.
Jill
Difficult thing too, is that you could be supporting a good cause through a nonprofit, but if the nonprofit isn't caring for their people well, that those who are actually doing the work is not going well, then you are participating in a different version of exploitation. And sometimes we can't know all of these things. I'm not trying to burden us with like loads and loads of research, but I do think it does call us to just, just raising another tier of how do I make sure that this is a worthwhile organization? Have I been able to talk to some of the people who work there? Do I have an intimate knowledge of which can really only happen if they are in our local communities? We can give outside of that too. But the majority of our giving I personally think should be with these individuals and organizations that we have more knowledge of.
Jen
Yeah. Drop a kony2012 in the comments if you know. If you know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
Jill
Thanks everyone for being here. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching watching. Thanks for engaging. Thanks for calling in your bills of the week and thank you for reading our book. Buy what you love without going broke and then doing the next level thing by reviewing it like this person. Lauren Pouncey, five stars. This book is classic. Jen and Jill. So very applicable but captivating at the same time. This isn't your average finance book. This one is deeper. This one gets to the root of not just finances but what motivates you in life and following after what you love. Read it. You won't regret it.
Jen
Thank you, Lauren. Thank you Lauren.
Jill
Snaps for you.
Jen
We appreciate every subscribe on the YouTube channel, every rating and review on Spotify, Apple and rating and review for the book on Amazon. It. These are all free ways to support us. Even if you got the book from the library and you enjoyed it. Rating and reviewing, these are all ways to support that cost nothing and really help us be able to do this full time and continue to bring these messages into the world. So if you like what we are talking about, please subscribe to the YouTube channel and do all that so that we can do it more.
Jill
We're just asking you to do the free things.
Jen
Yeah.
Jill
So thank you. See you next time.
Jen
Bye besties. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Jill
Okay, what, who, who do you follow on YouTube or Instagram or wherever that you would be the most, most likely to give to or, or I would say buy a product from Who?
Jen
Like in particular?
Jill
Yeah, like who.
Jen
Who are you?
Jill
Where is your weak spot? Who are you the most vulnerable?
Jen
It has to be someone I've never met.
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
Is that the stipulation? Yeah.
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
Okay. Because there are some people that I do like. My health coach. Yeah. I, I pay her $50 monthly. But yeah, no, no, no.
Jill
Like a fully parasocial relationship.
Jen
Okay.
Jill
You, you are kind of the most bought into them that you almost would get that sweatshirt that they, that they put out that they're doing.
Jen
Oh, okay. There have been a couple instances. I, the format is coming out with another album and I almost clicked Buy now on this hat they're selling. I think that's a little different. So I will go with Run Fit Mama on Instagram.
Jill
Okay.
Jen
She's a, she's a running coach. And I actually have bought a running program from. From her for a previous half marathon. And it was fantastic. Worth every penny and would do again. But yeah, I have purchased a couple things from her. I never met her in real life. The fit the half marathon training program.
Jill
Okay. Okay.
Jen
And also this, like, hundred mile club patch. It sounds so silly now, but, like, it was one of those things where, like, we're running 100 miles, like, and, you know, send me the money for a patch and I'll send you the, you know, the patch and I got.
Jill
That's the kind of stuff.
Jen
Yeah.
Jill
Not just the, like, okay, I'm buying a program from you that I am going to utilize is going to benefit me, but purely just the, like, I want the trinket.
Jen
Yeah.
Jill
From this person.
Jen
Run fit my life. Especially if you're like a Disney runner like me.
Jill
Yeah.
Jen
You.
Jill
Probably most likely from my girl Pam.
Jen
I knew you were going to say.
Jill
Even the fact that I call her my girl.
Jen
If she. If she sold you a bracelet, you'd get I heart Pam.
Jill
Like, I. She has stuff and I haven't ever bought. So, like, clearly I won't and I don't, but if I ever would.
Jen
If you ever spend money with someone on social media, it would be somebody who DMed you about their friends. Yeah.
Jill
But also, I think I'm realizing some of my funny girls on Instagram, I could see that pulling me in, like, if they were selling me something, like, maybe, maybe, maybe.
Episode Title: People on TikTok BEGGING for Money is Unhinged (Sad Fishing for Money)
Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Release Date: November 7, 2025
In this episode, Jen and Jill dive into the rising trend of "begging for money" on TikTok, often called Beg Talk or "sadfishing." The hosts explore how social media has fostered a culture where personal struggles become commodified content, and viewers are emotionally manipulated — sometimes subtly, sometimes blatantly — into giving money to strangers online. They discuss the blurring lines between genuine need, entrepreneurial hustle, and outright scam; examine the psychological and financial impacts on everyday people; and offer critical advice on responsible generosity in an age of parasocial relationships and viral sob stories.
Casual and conversational, peppered with humor and honest self-reflection. Jen and Jill maintain a friendly skepticism and compassion, always rooting their observations in a desire to promote both generosity and financial prudence.