Social Media is Ruining Hobbies

Summary

Frugal Friends Podcast: “Social Media is Ruining Hobbies”

Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Date: August 26, 2025
Episode Theme:
This episode delves into how social media is distorting our approach to hobbies—turning genuine interests into identity markers and vehicles for consumerism, and in many cases, leaving people with “hobby graveyards” full of abandoned projects and wasted money. Jen and Jill unpack the dangers of hobby-hopping, why we’re compelled to overbuy, and how we can reclaim hobby joy with mindful, frugal strategies (plus plenty of laughs and real talk about sourdough starters, pickleball paddles, and book hauls).

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Main Topics & Structure

1. The Hobby Graveyard: Why Do We Keep Abandoning Hobbies?

[01:23–10:03]

• Hosts introduce the concept of the “hobby graveyard”: A collection of abandoned hobbies and unfinished projects, often a result of impulsive purchases and fleeting inspiration (06:06, Jen).
• Personal admissions:
  • Jill talks about utilitarian hobbies (gardening, bread-making, home renovation), and how many hobbies have turned into side hustles (04:52–05:58).
  • Jen leans creative for hobby-chasing—coloring, embroidery, journaling—admitting to falling for every trap they’ll discuss today (06:06–07:35).
  • Both acknowledge the comedic tragedy of partially-used supplies: “stack of unread books,” “half-used yarn,” “a sourdough starter that died in the fridge” (07:35–09:20).
• Intersection of self-improvement and hobby-hopping:
  “There’s probably crossover between just a hobbyist and kind of a chronic self-improvement person.” — Jill, [09:20]
• Notable moment: ADHD Hobbyist briefly shares an epic list of hobby purchases that fizzled fast: “I spent a lot of money on resin...candle side business...knitting...I haven’t completed one single thing.” [10:03–10:46]

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2. How Social Media Skews Hobbies

Key arguments illustrated with memes, real TikToks, and personal reflection

a. Identity and Influencer Culture

[11:25–16:59]

• Influencers press the idea: Your hobby is your identity; niche down your interests just like you would your online persona (15:34, Jen).
• Pickleball as a case study:
  *Clips mimic the “stages” of pickleball obsession—from casual player to someone quitting their job for it—highlighting how a hobby can eclipse your life and wallet.
  • “...I probably spent more than $15,000, $25,000 on this hobby and I just started playing 10 months ago.” — ADHD Hobbyist, [15:51]
  • Jen and Jill discuss the absurdity: “That’s extreme. Not everybody does go that extreme. She really scaled the wall with that one.” — Jill, [16:38]

b. Consumerism and Buying for the Sake of Belonging

[17:08–21:38]

• BookTok & Hauls:
  • Fast-paced cycles encourage mass acquisition: “Do I have a book buying problem?...Apparently, yes. Do I regret any of these purchases? No.” — Jen, [17:38]
  • Jill and Jen bemoan the neglect of libraries in favor of consumer book hauls (18:14–18:39).
• Spending’s increase is normalized:
  • Buying more, not better: “...the cost of school supplies has really stayed consistent with inflation...[yet] our spending...has increased $150 per year. And so that’s just buying more quantity, not increased prices. And it's the same here with hobbies.” — Jen, [22:00]

c. Performative Hobbies: Showcasing, Not Enjoying

[25:00–29:54]

• Sourdough and Social Display:
  • Bread-making and other hobbies become performative, needing to be artful or unique to be social-media worthy: “...how old is your starter, how healthy is your starter, how unique is your bread, how big are your air bubbles?” — Jill, [26:29]
  • “I will say they are obnoxious for something that you’re gonna consume. This is not art.” — Jen, [26:44]
• Pressure to perfect:
  “It’s not enough to crush at your job...But you also have to have cool hobbies...your skill set needs to be that of an expert. And it really takes away the joy and the creative impulses.” — Jill, [28:59]

d. Perfectionism, Insecurity, and Selling the Dream

[30:13–34:27]

• Impulse decisions driven by trends:
  • “A lot of it is on impulse...when we’re scrolling you make impulsive decisions, and they’re not fully thought through.” — Jen, [30:13]
  • Courses that promise to make your hobby profitable even when the influencer hasn't done it themselves (31:39).
• Perfectionism discouraging new hobbyists:
  • “Social media is perpetuating perfectionism, which ultimately drives insecurity and discourages people from starting some hobbies.” — Jen, [31:39]
  • Stories of wanting to make beautiful embroidery but feeling discouraged by comparison to social posts (33:44, Jen).

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3. How To Reclaim Your Hobby (and Your Sanity)

[35:14–42:47]

a. Practical Steps to Avoid the Hobby Graveyard

• Minimize initial investment:
  “You’re going to purchase just what you need...If the interest is crochet...now is the time and the desire is to buy...seven balls of yarn...Instead you’re going to...buy one ball of yarn and a crochet hook.” — Guest/Expert, [36:06]
• Return unopened supplies:
  “Don’t open anything you don’t need right now...if, in the next two or three weeks, you discover you’re not going to use those materials...you can still return them.” — Guest/Expert, [37:03]

b. Jen & Jill’s Frugal Hobby Guidance

• Set a hobby budget cap:
  “Decide what’s a reasonable amount...Not overextending myself financially that I can feel good about.” — Jill, [38:56–39:08]
• Pause before purchasing:
  “Pause before you purchase and really think: When I make this, where is it gonna live? Give it a 30-day test and then potentially buy more.” — Jen, [39:08]
• Start with what you have:
  “You do not need to be buying new supplies...see what you already have at home or if a friend has it to borrow.” — Jill, [39:54–40:14]
• Borrow, swap, or thrift:
  “Try to borrow it. It is inconvenient… If you really want to do it, then that’s going to be a barrier you’re going to want to cross.” — Jen, [40:42]
• Keep your hobby off social media at first:
  “No pressure for this thing to become a social media enterprise for you. You can just do it that way.” — Jill, [42:06]

---

4. Lightning Round: Real Hobbies and Hobby Aspirations

[46:44–53:18]

• Jen: Training for a half marathon, hopes to get back to embroidery, enjoys making quirky gifts (47:21; 51:11).
• Jill: Running, cleaning (“not proud of it”), reading via library apps, and dreams of returning to painting tiny flowers—a nod to finding joy in childhood passions (47:34; 53:07).
• Both: Discuss how hobbies don’t need perfection or performance value to matter. Sometimes, life just redirects your attention, and that’s okay.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Sometimes hobbies, most of the time hobbies, are left in the hobby graveyard. But sometimes they're taken too far.” – Jen [05:49]
• “This is my hobby. But I'm not great at it and I don't have to be.” – Jill [29:54]
• “Reading books, definitely a hobby. Buying books, not reading them, buying more books. Also a hobby.” – Jen [17:40]
• “It really takes away the joy and the creative impulses that it allows…and I really love it when I can find people who are like, this is my hobby. But I'm not great at it and I don't have to be.” – Jill [28:59]
• “What TikTok and social media is doing…can actually make it more stressful and it does the opposite of what we actually want it to do.” – Jill [34:27]
• “If we have a strategy to appease the impulse without going overboard, that's definitely something we need to have in our pocket.” – Jen [37:19]

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Actionable Takeaways for Frugal Hobbyists

• Only buy the minimum to get started—resist full hauls at the outset.
• Keep purchases returnable and actually return what you don’t use quickly.
• Set boundaries for hobby spending, both per hobby and per month.
• Use, borrow, or swap supplies before making new purchases; check thrift stores and secondhand craft shops.
• Avoid turning your hobby into a performative or monetized project until (or unless!) it truly brings you joy.
• Allow yourself to be a beginner; perfection isn’t required.
• Accept that abandoning a hobby is normal—even healthy—and supplies can be handed off to someone else’s project.

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Overall Tone & Closing Thoughts

The episode strikes a warm, humorous, and empathetic tone. Jen and Jill are honest about their own struggles with hobby churn and spending, but also hopeful about how we can take conscious steps to bring joy—and savings—back to our free time. Their advice is practical, actionable, and never shaming: you’re not alone, and you don’t need to find your “one true hobby” or turn every interest into a social spectacle.

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Further Listening

• Episodes on de-influencing, book thrifting, and exercise trends
• Book: Buy What You Love Without Going Broke (written by hosts)
• Back episodes about budgeting and mindful spending

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For timestamped deep dives on particular segments, refer to:

• Hobby Graveyard explained: [06:06–09:20]
• Pickleball/identity discussion: [11:25–16:59]
• BookTok and consumerism: [17:08–22:00]
• Practical frugality strategies: [35:47–42:47]
• Lightning round/hobby confessions: [46:44–53:18]

Transcript

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[Jen]

Massachusetts Social Media is Ruining Hobbies.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity and live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

Hey Frugal Friends. I'm Jen. I'm Jill and we have an episode that I am very excited about today. I have a question. Are you suffering from hobby hopping?

[Jill]

Be honest.

[Guest/Expert]

Rating different hobbies that I've tried as a chronic serial hobbyist who gets severely hyper fixated on hobbies, buys everything that.

[Jen]

I need to perfect that hobby and then abandons it a couple days later. TikTok is all about hobbies right now. I don't know when it happened, I don't know how it happened. But every every other like video is something new that you can pick up in addition to working to become a millionaire, starting your own business, dressing yourself with lots of clothes and getting like new cars. You also have to pick up a hobby. So if you're not careful you could end up with thousands of dollars wasted and what social media is calling a hobby graveyard.

[Jill]

It's a real thing. But first, this episode is brought to you by Competitive Rock balancing the absolute sport of spending hours stacking rocks into delicate gravity defying sculptures. Yeah, it's real. It's a real hob folks. And honestly it's not too different looking from you trying to manage your money without the right tools to keep it all from imploding. Which is why we created our Mobile Optimized Spending Planner spreadsheet.

[Jen]

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[Jill]

No, we did not. We wanted you to know everything that you're getting out of it. It's a spreadsheet that works with with your phone, hence the mobile app optimize. Personally, I am not actually a budgeting app girly.

[Jen]

I'm an app girly. You're a spreadsheet girly.

[Jill]

I do think that the spreadsheet is the perfect simple solution for me. And so we decided, you know what, there could be some frugal friends out there who are similar. They don't want to be paying monthly for an app. They'd rather pay one time for a spreadsheet that works for them. So that's what this is. And you can see your whole financial picture at a glance. We've got tabs for you to use to be able to track your spending plan month to month because we know we've got to change what the spending plan looks like month to month. Every month is different and it just allows you to be able to identify what categories you want to be spending on, what you have left in those categories. Be able to see some of the really beautiful charts and graphs on a separate tab with all the information compiled. But yet it's still so simple, accessible from your phone. Super beautiful does the math for you. And you can get it, you can get it for [e-mail] budget if you're watching us on YouTube, of course it's linked in the description and there will.

[Jen]

Also be a 30% off code in the description. So check that out if you're listening on podcast, just check out the latest video and that'll have the most up to date discount code.

[Jill]

And while you're there, subscribe.

[Jen]

Yes. So Jill, tell me about your hobbies. What are your experience with hobbies?

[Jill]

I realize that I am a person who like my hobbies need to be super utilitarian. Like I need it to serve a purpose as well as provide me with some kind of cathartic outlet. So for me it's been gardening, where I primarily do veggies and herbs. I do like flowers, but in some ways that kind of can feel like a waste of my time, so it needs to produce me food. So I've also obviously gone down the bread making path and I still am making bread. We're close to two years in on my, my sourdough journey, still going strong. But also a lot of my hobbies have just been side hustles. Like I figure out how to turn it into money. Like podcasting was a hobby.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

Look at us now.

[Jen]

Look at us. We took it too far.

[Jill]

Look at us go. I don't go as far as we went. This is extreme.

[Jen]

Sometimes hobbies, most of the time hobbies are left in the hobby graveyard. But sometimes they're taken too far. And I think we'll see some of that in today's episode.

[Jill]

Yeah. And renovating, of course. That's where a lot of time of my time has gone and so that kind of has built a skill set. But what about for you?

[Jen]

So I've always opted for creative hobbies. I'm super analytical and research driven, like very left brained in what I do regularly. So my hobbies have always drifted towards like coloring or journaling or embroidery macrame, stuff like that. But I can, I felt very convicted with this episode because I have fallen victim to everything that we have that we will be talking about today. And I have definitely wasted money. I've definitely found ways to save and to fight the impulse. But sometimes it's not always about fighting the impulse. Sometimes it's about giving in by giving in wisely. So that's why I'm so excited for this episode because the hobby graveyard is so real. So hobby graveyard is a term that I learned on social media and it's often used humorously or self deprecatingly to describe a collection of abandoned hobbies or unfinished projects someone once got excited about but never completed or stuck with. And please let us know in the comments what your unfinished or left like what's in your hobby graveyard.

[Jill]

Yeah, some examples could include half used yarn from one crochet project that you got started with and didn't end up finishing exp. Watercolor paints. Still mostly full.

[Jen]

We didn't have that. But we do have an unfinished watercolor on our wall in our office.

[Jill]

We got it for free, but I guess it still is. It's not quite a graveyard. I don't know. Well, maybe it's a single tombstone. That's true. A sourdough starter that died in the back of the fridge.

[Jen]

Ding. Oh no.

[Jill]

Jen. A guitar with only two songs ever learned.

[Jen]

Zero songs learned because it hurt my fingers.

[Jill]

Yeah, you do have to build up calluses.

[Jen]

It was so painful.

[Jill]

Oh no. Ok. Stack of unread books from your reading era.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jill]

I love this game. I mean I, I'm, I don't like love it, but it is entertaining for me. Okay. Workout gear from the I'm gonna get fit phase.

[Jen]

I do use my workout gear. That's it. Yeah. That's okay.

[Jill]

Journals with only three pages written in. Oh, no.

[Jen]

Well, okay. So I won't say I used to. That actually used to be a problem for me. I think I wrot in our book Buy what yout Love without going Broke. But I do have a five year journal that I literally made it. The whole first year I wrote every single day. And the second year I stopped in March and it is July when we're recording this and I haven't picked up the book because now it's like, oh, I can't catch up. So what do I just start back up? And I think that I'm going to do that because I do want to finish the journal I did the whole first year.

[Jill]

It's interesting. I'm realizing right now that there's probably crossover between just a hobbyist and kind of a chronic self improvement person, which I do think you would kind of fall into that category. I think you learn quickly and you quickly kind of pivot. But there's something really beautiful in it too, in that you want to learn new skills, you want to try new things out, you want to be able to talk and connect with people who are doing these things. So there is good reason behind this. And we are not against hobbies, as you've already said, but it can lead to this collection, this hobby graveyard like we've talked about.

[ADHD Hobbyist]

Welcome to my ADHD hobby graveyard where I spent a lot of money on things I only did for a month.

[Jen]

Ooh.

[ADHD Hobbyist]

I spent a lot of money on resin. Getting every single color of the rainbow, probably triples of each just so I could make these little dishes that are prob toxic. I also made hundreds of earrings that will make your ears break out. Can't forget 3D printing, where I spent buckets of money on a printer and spools. And then there's the candle side business that I never got off the ground. But not before buying every single cent. Clay was fun for about three weeks. Got every single color of that too, just so I could make these mediocre little plants. Speaking of plants, I made macrame plant hangers for a good few months and I was gonna have a business. And then there's knitting. I haven't completed one single thing, but I used the yarn to make a half finished rug using punch needling.

[Jen]

And so this has always been a thing, like literally some of this stuff like from when I was a child. But social media, like it does with every good thing, really just exacerbates it to the point where it can become really financially detrimental. So first we want to talk about how, like recognizing how social media is working against you and then we want to wrap it up with what do we then do about it? Because we don't want to take it away. We want to be able to experiment and improve. So like how do we do it in a healthy way?

[Jill]

So the first point with that is that influencers want you to view your hobby as your identity. And nowhere is that more evident than with pickleball.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Is this pickleball? So this is what my grandma's been up to. Like if non athletes tried playing an actual sport like small tennis, big version of ping pong. So many old people. What is going on? It's like if a senior citizen home had teams. Guess we could give it a try. Give your racket. Got my racket. You got the wiffle ball.

[Jen]

Got the wiffle ball.

[Jill]

Love, love.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh, easy. Everybody's so nice. The older they are, the better they are.

[Jill]

Hey, Brad.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Good to see you, man. Barry, how are we doing? Jenny up at 5am can't believe that. How did this happen? I didn't even know about this for two months ago. Look at me now. Is there anything better than dinking? How do I get to play with a good player? Getting into that group text is harder than getting into the Pentagon. Yeah. I work from home three days a week now so I can play more pickleball. Just won my first 40 tournament. Yeah. Not going to be playing with the three fives anymore or talking to them. I actually quit my job today just to play more pickleball.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

At about six weeks I should be homeless. Have you guys ever heard of pickleball? The greatest sport ever. It's like tennis, but it's fun.

[Jill]

So the stages of pickleball are real.

[Jen]

And I've never played pickleball, but Jill, I have has.

[Jill]

I do have paddles and the wiffle ball.

[Jen]

That made me chuckle.

[Jill]

I don't think that that's what they call it. I haven't made it to that last stage that they described in this video.

[Jen]

But where you're quitting your job to play more pickleball.

[Jill]

But I have been to a pickleball tournament. One of our friends actually does play professionally.

[Jen]

No. Which is.

[Jill]

And when you play you do realize. Yeah, it's accessible, but it's still difficult. I mean it is easier than tennis. But.

[Jen]

But it is. I was running on the treadmill once and they were playing like different shows and sports and ESPN was right in front of me and it turns into this Tournament, which I thought was tennis. And this was a while ago, this was years ago. And it is pickleball. And these people are walking out and then they're showing their, like, you know, it's, you know, Joe Schmoe and then his picture like goes up on the screen and he's like, so serious. And I was like, you're a professional pickleball player, you need to be smiling and doing a thumbs up in your, in your headshot. Like, that is the vibe that pickleball should be, right? And it never is.

[Jill]

That's such a good point. So seriously.

[Jen]

It is.

[Jill]

They do take it very seriously.

[Jen]

Like identity encompassing. So from this I kind of like there's, so there's, from what I believe there is this emphasis on like self branding on social media where you have to have a niche, you have to have a thing if you want to grow. So I think social media influencers will do this to grow on social media. But then it kind of permeates into regular people who are not influencers thinking that they also have to niche down their lives, where in reality these influencers aren't niching up necessarily niching down their lives, they're niching down their social media, like lives, appearances. But that doesn't like, it's not as widely known. And so it does kind of permeate into this idea that when I have a hobby now, that's my identity. Like I knit. So, like I'm a knitter now. I join knitting groups and I buy T shirts with like knitting memes on them and I take my stuff everywhere, like my knitting stuff with me everywhere. So even though you've like never completed a full project.

[Jill]

Yeah. And if we don't already have some version of established identity, then it can be really easy to buy into, latch onto, spend a ton of money, Spend.

[Jen]

A ton of money, which I didn't realize was a thing with pickleball until I saw this, this video.

[ADHD Hobbyist]

By far the most expensive and consuming.

[Jen]

Hobby I've picked up recently is pickleball. I have probably spent more than 15,000, 25,000 on this hobby. And I just started playing 10 months ago. There's the overpriced aloe outfits, the 250 paddles, the private lessons with pros, the club membership fees, and most importantly, there's the loss of income because I most recently took off a month from work just to move to California and improve my pickleball game as if I was a retired Snowbird at 36. But it really did pay off. I won my first singles tournament in San Diego. And I probably have amassed 50 new.

[Jill]

Friends from the sport.

[Jen]

I have zero regrets, but I may be growing soon. I wonder if that first video was inspired by this video, but it could have been inspired by any videos on pickleball, Honestly.

[Jill]

Oh, my. I mean, that's extreme. Not everybody has to or does go that extreme. She really scaled the wall with that one. Spending $25,000, taking off from her job in just a span of 10 winning. I don't know how many people she was up against in this competition, but I don't know. It's wild.

[Jen]

But it does lead us to our second point is that every video is normalizing, buying more.

[Jill]

And nowhere is that more evident than with Book Talk.

[Jen]

I did some major damage for my birthday yesterday at Barnes and Noble. So let's do a haul of everything that I got. Hey guys.

[Guest/Expert]

I'm trying to reduce my screen time.

[Jen]

And get back into reading.

[Guest/Expert]

So I spent nearly £200 on 40 books.

[Jen]

So it's a massive book haul. I wanted to come on and do a Christmas book haul. Hey guys, it was my birthday yesterday, so let's do an absolutely huge haul of every book I got for my birthday.

[Jill]

So we have yet another Target book haul.

[Jen]

Let's do a little book haul.

[Jill]

Do I have a book buying problem?

[Jen]

Apparently, yes. Do I regret any of these purchases? No. Reading books, definitely a hobby. Buying books, not reading them, buying more books. Also a hobby. That Target book haul kind of like made me a little upset because Target doesn't have a lot of books.

[Jill]

Right.

[Jen]

You can't buy that. You bought. She bought every book at Target with that haul.

[Jill]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jen]

I don't know why that one, like put me over the edge so much, but there are so many books.

[Jill]

How do these people not know about the library?

[Jen]

If you're not. I know, I know. If you're not watching, there is literally in every haul clip, like everyone bought at least like 20 or 40 books.

[Jill]

At least.

[Jen]

There were just stacks the entire screen high.

[Jill]

Right. Which I love books. I think it's a great way to spend your time. But also the library exists.

[Jen]

The library.

[Jill]

And then Libby and hoopla and there's so. And then neighborhood libraries, you know, the little books. Like there's plenty of ways. We actually did a whole episode on how to get books for free. Again, we're still not advocating for just like hoarding a ton of books.

[Jen]

Yeah, we, we, we digress. Okay, but library. But, but real point is that this fast paced trend cycle that we see on social Media, it encourages like, shallow dabbling. Like, you can see this stuff and easily go out to a Barnes and Noble and just buy a ton of books. It's so easy to consume more.

[Jill]

And by the time you get the materials and the tools, then the trend probably has already passed and we're on to the next thing. And when it's attached to belonging, then we are gonna just follow the next trend. Yeah, because now this is what people are doing.

[Jen]

You've got all these book clubs and you've got people talking about the same book you've read on social media. So there's this camaraderie. So there really is in booktok, like book conventions. There have been several book conventions that I've seen videos like commentary on on YouTube that have just went like over so bad. Like they, they were advertised to be this like beautiful fairy tale book convention with all these authors. And literally it's just an empty room with some chairs. Oh, the drama. And so like, you can. You are paying to get this community, which we think is fine. If you're paying money to get community, I don't think that's a bad thing. I actually used to dog on sororities and fraternities for this, but this was before social media where you actually were forced into relationships. And now that it's so easy to be so isolated, I think paying for those things becomes like much healthier. I don't know. I was never in a sorority or fraternity, so let me know in the comments if I'm totally off the face or if I'm like speaking your language. But so, but the point, truly the point is, is that these hauls, and we've done so many haul like commentations.

[Jill]

De influencing any of our de influencing.

[Jen]

It just makes it so much easier to buy more. And that is very like, evident in hobby culture.

[Jill]

And to buy the right things, you have to have this tool. It needs to be this. You need to wear this thing just to feel like you're actually doing it properly. And it still is this aim at aesthetic and perfectionism that is not necessary.

[Jen]

Yeah. And some, some of the like, yeah, this aestheticism is just looking at the sheer number of things that you have, all the markers, the book rooms, and.

[Jill]

Then organizing it so beautifully, then that's its whole other thing. You gotta have the organizers, the containers, the shel.

[Jen]

And these videos are not to get you to replicate the excessive amount of things. It's to encourage you to maybe buy like 25% of them, which still tends to be more than you need all it wants you to do is to buy a little bit extra than what you are going to buy in the first place or a little bit more than what you actually need. That's the goal of all of these videos and it's just normalizing it, I think. In our Back to School video we said that the cost of school supplies has really stayed consistent with inflation. It hasn't outpaced inflation, but for some reason our spending on back to school products, not including technology, but our spending on back to school products with inflation has increased $150 per year. And so that's just buying more quantity, not increased prices. And it's the same here with hobbies.

[Jill]

You ever go searching for a deal on something you actually need, like bedding or a new blender, and after 20 minutes of Googling, the discounts expired or it wasn't even a real deal in the first place?

[Jen]

Every time. And honestly, that's what makes Brad's deal so helpful. There's a real person behind every post. Someone who's literally scouring the Internet every day for actual lowest prices on stuff we're already shopping for.

[Jill]

It's not just AI pulling random promo codes. These are consumer advocates, real humans checking prices and sharing deals that are worth your time. Think everything from furniture and lawn equipment to clothes and kitchen gadgets.

[Jen]

And when you sign up for free, you get their personalized deals newsletter with curated pics from brands we all know like Nike, Hoka, Wayfair, Amazon and tons more. They're not trying to sell you anything, they're just here to help you shop smarter and save real Money.

[Jill]

Go to BradSteels.com or hit the link in our show notes to sign up. It's free, it's easy and it'll save you time and money. We're always talking about simplifying life's to do list and one of the best things I ever checked off mine was getting term life insurance and fabric by Gerber Life is term life insurance you can get done today made for busy parents like you all online on your schedule right from your couch. You could be covered in under 10 minutes with no health exam required.

[Jen]

Made sure to have our policy by the time we had kids because if something happened to me, I wanted to make sure my family could stay in our home and cover expenses without stress. Even if you have coverage through work, it might not be enough and it might not follow you if you change jobs.

[Jill]

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[Jen]

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[Jill]

Also, TikTok is making hobbies much more performative rather than personal. It's like it needs to be on display for it to matter.

[Jen]

And you know, this one can be very evident in the sourdough community. So yeah, it's the sourdough. I tried to get into sourdough. I really wanted to. I just don't have enough time to commit to it. Yeah, I wish that I did. Also. I don't have enough. I don't have the increased desire for carbs. Sure, right. So like I can't consume the amount of sourdough that I would need to make to maintain the hobby.

[Jill]

Except for the reel that I saw where a doctor. I did not fact check this because it gave me the information I wanted. And so I walked away believing it wholeheartedly that you can eat sourdough with impunity. And it has become my life motto.

[Jen]

You can eat sourdough with. I believe that it's healthy and people who are gluten free, not celiacs but just gluten free, can eat it. So I truly believe in sourdough. I believe in it and I wish I ate enough bread to justify it, but I don't.

[Jill]

Sure. On social media it is all about how old is your starter, how healthy is your starter, how unique is your bread, how big are your air bubbles. What's your technique in scoring if you're on YouTube?

[Jen]

Like we're playing this on mute, but it's just a compilation of all of these literally beautiful bread creations. Obnoxious. I will say they are obnoxious for something that you're gonna consume. This is not art. This does not stay on your wall or counter it. It's gonna be eaten. I think it's a little obnoxious, but it's all beautiful. And they were all set to like beautiful music.

[Jill]

And that's why they are doing it for your clicks and watches and comments.

[Jen]

Some of it is a little rage Baity. This lady that made a pumpkin out of sourdough like a pumpkin. It wasn't even pumpkin flavored. It was just A pumpkin. Yeah.

[Jill]

And it's inspirational and I think it can then draw us to want to do that. But the problem is then we think that that's how it looks to be in your sourdough era. And to be honest, I don't worry about how it looks. It tastes amazing and that's all that matters to me. But I do recognize that you could really fall down that rabbit hole.

[Jen]

Yeah, there are a lot of like, there's a lot of aesthetic like performative in hobbies. I can't really say like in. So maybe I would say in all hobbies. And I was gonna take it back and be like, maybe not booktok. But I see people doing their like how many books I've read in a year or in a per month. And it's about how many books you can get through or with like embroidery, which we'll talk about as like how intricate it can be. Like how to the minutest little. How do you see to get in there? Like, it's all very. It's unattainable, but just. But so here's the thing. It's not totally unattainable, this stuff. It's just like performative enough where you think you could do it and so that you'll buy the things to try it.

[Jill]

Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, that's what's frustrating about it because it's not enough to crush at your job and make money and be a good friend and a good family member and show up for everywhere on time and take care of yourself. But like you also have to have cool hobbies. And not only that, but you have to be really good at your hobby. Your hobby almost does have to be your job that you don't get paid for, but your skill set needs to be that of an expert. And it really takes away the joy and the creative impulses that it allows and some of the problem solving. And I really love it when I can find people who are like, this is my hobby. But. But I'm not great at it and I don't have to be. It is okay for me to be five years into sourdough making and I am not making it into a butterfly when it comes out of the oven. Like it just is bread or. Yeah, I've rock climbed for 10 years, but I'm not scaling the mountains that the professionals are. It is okay to find something that you enjoy and just, just do it without perfecting it.

[Jen]

Yeah. But I think so much of this isn't like thinking that I need to, but a lot of it is on impulse.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Like if we thought about it, we would say that.

[Jill]

Right.

[Jen]

But when we're scrolling and we see something like this, we make impulsive decisions and they're not fully thought through. So like there was this micro Bakery Girl on TikTok and Instagram and I saw a bunch of videos on YouTube. Like I didn't see her on Instagram, but I saw the, the videos on YouTube where this girl was selling sourdough and sourdough cookies and, and all of this stuff from her front lawn, from what looked like an armoire. And then teaching, selling a course on how you could do it too, to make money off of your hobby. So I think a lot of it is sometimes we also think we can make money off of our hobby if it looks that good. Right. Well, in the end, she had not done that. She had not sold anything from her front lawn. Wasn't even her front lawn, it was her mother in law's and she was selling this course on how to be a successful micro bakery owner when she herself had not done it.

[Jill]

Hadn't done it.

[Jen]

Yeah. So there can also come that part too is where people like, I'll make this and like, I'll sell it, like, or you know, something like that. So yeah, I think it always begs the, you don't have to be perfect or, you know, make profit off of it, you just have to like it. And that, that brings us to our last point, is that social media is perpetuating perfectionism, which ultimately drives insecurity and discourages people from starting some hobbies. And so I have seen that in embroidery, which is a hobby I took up at the end of the last year. So I started embroidery and I bought, I did it the right way for what I would deem the right way to start a hobby. I waited for a while and then I bought a kit that had some practice loops and it included yarn. And then once I finished that, I went to a secondhand craft store, which is kind of like a craft consignment shop. And you're like, you're like, jen, how do you sell, get secondhand craft supplies? Well, craft supplies that people haven't used, they will turn into this store.

[Jill]

Other people's hobby graveyard, other people's hobby.

[Jen]

Graveyard and then get store credit to get other things in the accumulated hobby graveyard of other people. And it's so great. So I got some more fabric and some more yarn and it was great. And then I did a couple projects and I haven't picked it up since life Got crazy when we got the dog in February and that's pretty much when everything stopped for me. I can set a clear time marker to when I stopped having a life.

[Jill]

Or everything got so crazy.

[Jen]

It's February 19th, but yeah, so. But I looked at these beautiful things people were making and then I started and my things were not beautiful. And so it kind of, it got discouraging because all I could do was like very simple things. And then after a while like that got boring. So I didn't. If I had invested more time, which I still have the things and I do want to invest more time one day in 13 years when my life dies down.

[Jill]

Yeah. I think it's important to recognize why do we have the hobby anyhow? And I think a lot of times we do view it as something cathartic, something that can aid in our self care practices. But what TikTok and social media is doing to it can actually make it more stressful and it does the opposite of what we actually want it to do. That now I've got this insecurity that's heightened, this pressure to make it perfect, this need to keep up with the trends. And that is, I would say, the antithesis of what a hobby actually should be about.

[Jen]

Hopefully. Yeah. I mean, and then you're seeing hobbies pushed off as self care when they're actually like causing a little bit of micro stress.

[Jill]

Because that's what I'm saying.

[Jen]

It's just not turning out the way I thought it should. So these are all the ways that we think social media is ruining hobbies. So what can we do? We're not going to get off social media. Maybe you are getting off social media. Great for you. I love that for you. But if we're not, what, what do we do? And so I think this creator that I found had some good ideas that we want to expound on.

[Guest/Expert]

This video is for you. If you find yourself dropping a chunk of change every single month or two on a brand new hobby or interest and that inevitably loses its sparkle, its dopamine hit and ends up in the graveyard of past hobbies. But you've already dropped a chunk of change on it. Like, what the heck? If that sounds familiar, stick around. If it doesn't, feel free to scroll away. Here are two ways that you're going to reduce the financial impact of this. And this is not restrictive budgeting.

[Jill]

This is not.

[Guest/Expert]

I'm not going to tell you to not go do the thing. You're going to do the thing anyway. So let's Talk about how to have it. Be intentional and supportive of your financial goals. First thing that you're going to do is you're going to purchase just what you need as far as materials to get started on the hobby or started on the project. So if the interest is crochet, suddenly you're going to crochet a whole blanket, even though you've never stuck with it long enough to actually do a whole blanket, now is the time and the desire is to go to Michael's and buy seven balls of yarn to do a whole frickin blanket and a crochet hook. Instead you're going to go to Michael's and buy one ball of yarn and a crochet hook. Because you get to start the project, you get the dopamine hit, you get the excitement, you're fulfilling the need without going all out and having that financial impact. Now secondly, let's say that that didn't happen. You already went out, you bought the things or you didn't catch yourself in the moment, whatever, right? You've purchased all this extra stuff that you don't need to get started. Don't open anything you don't need right now. Keep it in returnable form so that if, and again if, because we don't know, this could be the new hobby that is like yours for the next five years and you start a business out of it.

[Jen]

Could be.

[Guest/Expert]

I'm not saying it isn't, but if it isn't in the next two or three weeks, if you discover you're not going to use those materials because you've lost interest, well then you can still return them because you didn't open them. Those are the two tips. Let me know in the comments if this was supportive by popping an emoji in there.

[Jen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jill]

Those fill the need with the essentials.

[Jen]

That's a great mindset to take too, because sometimes, depending on the state we're in when we're scrolling social media, we don't have 100% cognitive ability to deny the impulse. So if we have a strategy to appease the impulse without going overboard, that's definitely something we need to have in our pocket. We need to be aware so that we can avoid the impulse. But we also need the tools to manage the impulses when we're at a disadvantage.

[Jill]

And that would be ideal to catch it in that moment. But like she says, that doesn't always happen and we don't talk about the ability to return things enough. Again, I don't only want to rely on that like Buying a bunch of stuff and just being like, oh, well, I'll return it because that still is a spending of resources to be able to do that. But it's, it still is an option. I have been able to reverse so many regret purchases because I'm able to return it. And that's great. And that's also a reason to look into a return policy on things. But there are some other things that we can be doing about this as we do engage with hobbies because we think that they're important for well roundedness and caring for ourselves. But the first is to set a hobby budget cap. So being able to provide some limitations and parameters for ourselves and certainly per hobby, but as well as per month, decide what is a reasonable amount for me to spend on this, that is within budget, not overextending myself financially that I can feel good about that I can put towards this thing because it is valuable. But we also don't want to go broke trying to just have fun and relax.

[Jen]

Yes. And pause before you purchase. That way you don't end up with a briefcase full of charms and you step back and you realize, where was I ever gonna wear this much jewelry with this many charms? Or I don't even have enough friends to give enough charm bracelets to have this many charms. So like pause before you purchase and really think like, where is. When I make this, where is it gonna live? And how many of them are going to live and where are they going to live? Give it a 30 day test and then potentially buy more.

[Jill]

Next. And I think that this should be at the top of the list. Start with what you have. You do not need to be buying new supplies. Brand name this, this or that. See what you already have at home. And if that is going to work for the project that you're trying to do or see if a friend has it to borrow. You never know.

[Jen]

Yeah. I mean, before you go out and buy that pickleball set from 5 below, see if one of your friends is.

[Jill]

Not gonna be good enough. From five Below.

[Jen]

Yikes. See if one of your friends just put it out there like in a group text or on Facebook or on Instagram stories. Be like, hey, anybody, Can I borrow anybody's boards and wiffle balls? I don't know what they're called.

[Jill]

Paddles.

[Jen]

Paddles and balls. You know, and I am sure somebody's gonna have something or one of your obsessed friends is gonna use it as an excuse to upgrade their paddle and they're just gonna give you their old paddle from five Below, probably that could happen. Next is to borrow, swap or thrift. So like we said with the pickleball paddle, try to borrow it. It is inconvenient. Right. It doesn't get you the instant dopamine hit. And that's the point. It's a little awkward. So if you really want to do it, then that's going to be a barrier that you're going to want to cross. Honestly, that's super awkward for me. I don't like to ask to borrow things, and it's something I am working, I need to work on. I'm not working on it currently. I need to work on it.

[Jill]

But you've also thrifted.

[Jen]

Yeah. So thrifting is great. Shout out to bottom of the bin. If you're in the Tampa Bay area, they have two locations. They're great. But just search secondhand craft store and see if there's anything in your area that's similar. Thrift stores, they always have something like yarn or you're more likely to find it at a thrift store if you don't have a secondhand craft store. So if you don't, check out your.

[Jill]

Local thrift stores and finally, keep it off camera, at least at first, because sometimes that can put the pressure on us that it does need to be perfect in order to be doing the thing rather than your own personal fulfillment. So no pressure for this thing to become a social media enterprise for you. You can just do it that way.

[Jen]

If it's truly not your identity, and I'm not saying it's not gonna become your identity, that you're not going to become a pickleball champion or a podcasting expert, but just give yourself space for it to not be something you stick with. Give yourself permission.

[Jill]

Do you know what is something we've stuck with and actually is my entire identity?

[Jen]

Episode one, the bill of the week.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck Bills, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.

[Jen]

Hi, Jen. Hi, Jill. This is Emily. My bill of the week is like $50 in merch and books from indie author that I follow on YouTube, Elizabeth Wheatley, that I bought using a $50 gift card, Visa gift card that I had earned on answering a questionnaire thing through the University of Chicago. So it was $50 that I spent on stuff for someone I really, like, enjoy that didn't actually come out of my pocket. So yay. Have a great day.

[Jill]

That's very fun.

[Jen]

Oh, my gosh. That is. That's a tip. We didn't even like, discuss, but like doing things. If you want to spend money on a hobby, figuring out a way to earn the money and that be your budget for spending on. On the hobbies. So like questionnaires like this or doing like a little side hustle or something.

[Jill]

Right. Which we don't recommend doing those online surveys as a side hustle, but because they just don't generate enough income to warrant that. But if it's specialized, something like this, where it's I'm just going to be spending 20 to $50 occasionally or monthly, then. Then sure, yeah, then you kind of have two hobbies. There you go, filling out surveys and then buying the books. But I love that this was bought with a gift card. You're supporting an author that you love and enjoying the books. This is like the best use of a hobby in my opinion.

[Jen]

Support your beloved authors.

[Jill]

Yeah, support authors. Buy what you love. Book.com. support those very specific authors. If you have a bill that you want to submit, if it's about buying our book and being really happy about it, or your name is Bill and you bought our book or you bought the book. Frugalfriendspodcast.com Bill, if you're watching us on YouTube, that link is in the description. If you're paying rent every month without getting anything in return, we need to talk about bilt, the rewards program that actually lets renters earn points on their biggest expenses.

[Jen]

With Bilt, paying rent becomes an opportunity. You can redeem those points towards travel on hundreds of airlines and hotels, a future rent payment, your next Lyft ride, and more.

[Jill]

And it doesn't stop at rent. BILT makes your whole neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite spots to earn extra points, even get VIP perks at certain fitness studios and exclusive experiences just for BILT members every month.

[Jen]

So why let rent just leave your bank account Instead, earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbuilt.com frugal that's J-O-I N B I L T.com frugal make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you.

[Jill]

And now it's time for the lightning round.

[Jen]

All right, what has been a hobby you're enjoying these days? And I have to change mine from what I originally put. Cause I'M not actually doing embroidery right now, but I am training for a half marathon. So running. I can't say I enjoy it while I'm doing it, but I do enjoy it when I'm not doing it. I was actually supposed to go for a run this morning and I was up six times with Atlas last night, so I did not get out.

[Jill]

But that really takes the wind out of your sails.

[Jen]

Yeah. Tomorrow's another day.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Yeah. So that has been it. October 26th. Keep me in your thoughts. Yeah, I'm running 13.1 miles with my friend Sarah.

[Jill]

Amazing. So proud of you.

[Jen]

Thank you.

[Jill]

For me, I realize, and I'm not proud of this. This isn't something that I want to define my life.

[Jen]

I don't want this to be your answer even.

[Jill]

But it does feel like cleaning is my hobby. Like if you were to define a hobby as what do you do in your spare time? It is cooking and cleaning.

[Jen]

What do you do for enjoyment in your spare time?

[Jill]

I will say, similar to your answer though, about running, like having things be cleaned gives me enjoyment after the fact. I do like that. It brings a sense of calm and peace. But no, I don't want that to be my hobby.

[Jen]

I don't want it to be your hobby either. I will say sourdough.

[Jill]

Yeah, but that's not like something dreaming all the time. I'm really leaning in water hydration.

[Jen]

She's really into hydration.

[Jill]

Okay, so reading in the past year has become a big part of my life. Not my identity. But. But yeah, utilizing Libby and hoopla. Although, here you go. I'm listening to books as I'm cleaning, doing yard work, cooking.

[Jen]

I listen to books while I run.

[Jill]

Exercise. I suppose that's a hobby, right? I exercise five days a week and.

[Jen]

Boy, we didn't include it in here because we have a whole episode coming out on that exercise.

[Jill]

Don't worry, subscribe and you'll get it's.

[Jen]

Coming out in like a week or two.

[Jill]

Our episode on exercise Toxic health advice. But if you are loving our stuff on DE influencing and kind of like what social media is making crazy, we have a de influencing back to school sales episode that you definitely need to listen and watch.

[Jen]

And school's already back. I think it's still a good listen. The topic back to school is just like the thing, but it really is relevant to any type of sale. Excuse for a sale.

[Jill]

So true.

[Jen]

So thank you so much for listening, for watching and thank you for your kind reviews and comments. We love reading them. Please keep leaving them Especially on the book on Amazon. Buywhatyoulovebook.com you can get it wherever books are sold. Like this one from Tanya. It's five stars. She says. I love the Frugal Friends podcast and have been a faithful listener of theirs for years. This book did not disappoint. I love their take on money landing in the radical middle instead of extreme deprivation or intense overspending.

[Jill]

Thank you. Short and sweet. We love any review that happens to.

[Jen]

Be five star reviews.

[Jill]

So if you've loved the book, please leave us a review. If you're loving our YouTube channel, please subscribe. It helps us comment. If you're out there are listening to the podcast, leave a review there, hop on over to YouTube and subscribe. Leave a comment. Even though it has nothing to do with this video, we think it's funny.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

And we will respond. So thanks for being here.

[Jen]

Bye. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

[Jill]

What is a hobby you think you want to have? What's a. What's that someday?

[Jen]

Well, I do want to get back into embroidery and make cute gifts for friends. When I was on the road with invisible children, we stayed at someone's house who had her mom cross stitched her these cute little like home sweet home things, but they had expletives within them.

[Jill]

That's fun.

[Jen]

And I would love to create some quirky things like that for my friends.

[Jill]

That sounds exactly like what you would put in your home and the types of gifts you would give. I would glamour, gladly be a recipient of that.

[Jen]

Yeah, I do want to do that. So I, Alison Baggerly of inspired budget is into cross stitch or is into embroidery and she sent me this cute little like embroidered like of plants that I have like right at my front door. Yeah. Shout out to Allison. Such a sweet friend.

[Jill]

Yeah, she is. No, okay. Fun.

[Jen]

You.

[Jill]

You know, I used to paint when I was younger.

[Jen]

You did?

[ADHD Hobbyist]

Yes.

[Jill]

Yeah, I was like into art in a big way. Charcoal draw, like charcoal portraits and painting. And I still have the supplies and maybe that's my hobby graveyard, where I did use them for a while and then kept them in case I ever got back into it. And of course with all of our renovations, with our house, it has felt like I've never had the time to give to that. But I'm hoping that we can. That I can in the future dig into that again.

[Jen]

I don't think there's only one tombstone you could consider a graveyard.

[Jill]

That's true. Yeah.

[Jen]

Is it something you just did for a while and then had other things.

[Jill]

Set it aside. Yeah.

[Jen]

Or you just did it and you're like, yeah, I've had enough. I've done it for a while and now I'd like to try something new.

[Jill]

Yeah, I don't think I've had enough. I think it's just one of those things that I used to have time for. It really fueled me. Life got in the way. I've done other things, but it feels like one of those calling back too. When people think about what do you want to do for a career or what do you want to do for a hobby, they often will say, think back to your childhood. What did you enjoy? And even high school. What were some of the things that were life giving to you? And that's one of them. That feels like, ah, I kind of want to get back to my roots a little bit.

[Jen]

Yeah. What would you draw?

[Jill]

So one of the things that I love to do when on a trip is take pictures of tiny, tiny flowers. That's like instead of collecting souvenirs and things, I like to collect like pictures of the flora of an area because there's such unique things. And then also the lesser seen stuff, like the very tiny flowers that you normally would just trample on or walk past. And then you take this picture and cameras are so amazing. You can capture all this detail. It's like that is literally smaller than a dime and it's got. You do love tiny things, all this detail. So I have this vision of painting all of these tiny flowers from these.

[Jen]

Different locations that I've been I on our cruise recently. They're finding dust ducks is a big thing, like rubber duckies. They hide them around the cruise.

[Jill]

Oh, that's cool.

[Jen]

And we found actually very tiny ducks like that big, like a dime size.

[Jill]

What a fun thing for a kid on a cruise too. I mean adults too, but.

[Jen]

So maybe I'll take a picture of our tiny duck somewhere and then I'll.

[Jill]

Paint that for you as a gift.

[Jen]

Perfect. Thank you.

[Jill]

With a tiny little expletive on it.

[Jen]

Oh, perfect. The duck is saying it. Yes.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Jill]

Now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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